48 hours
by RoadrunnerGER
Summary: When his family is taken hostage there’s nothing Elliot can do but to meet the hostagetakers’ demands. Will his SVU colleagues realize that something is terribly wrong?
1. Chapter 1

**48h**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: I'm struggling with _The Locust_, my CI/SVU x-over (or better with Bobby… um, his character…). While I was working on it this one popped up, maybe because Bobby and Elliot appear to be so different. It's short and I don't know exactly where this may be going so your opinions are highly appreciated. RR

**1**

Seconds… just a few damned seconds!

xxx

He awoke to a wonderful sunny morning. It would be a great Sunday together with Kathy and the kids, including a trip to the Bronx zoo and a barbecue.

Elliot Stabler did not waste a single thought on next Monday and work while he was singing under the shower. He shaved and brushed his teeth, then dressed in jeans and a shirt, without tie. He whistled a simple melody when he came down the stairs and never noticed something strange.

"Kathy, honey, have you seen…?" he began to ask as he turned into the kitchen for breakfast.

She should not find out what he was looking for.

He saw her the moment he entered the room and knew in the same instant that something was terribly wrong. He just had no time to do anything, to ask something, to escape and least of all fight off what was threatening him and his family.

Because in the same second that he saw his wife, someone grabbed his neck from behind, pressing the muzzle of a gun to his head. He froze, his stare locked with Kathy's.

The next second he was pushed to the ground. Neither the hand nor the muzzle left as he hit the floor, landing on his front. More hands grabbed his wrists, jerking the arms behind his back and binding him with rope. Also his ankles were tied.

He was too terrified to even scream. Whatever he might have voiced, it caught in his throat never to come out. His breath was caught, too. It exploded when he tried to breathe again.

Lying on his stomach he could not see Kathy or anyone else, just the stove, the legs of some chairs and the floor.

All he felt were the strange hands on arms and legs, holding him down, the rope and the cold of the tiles. Above all he felt the gun still pressed to his head.

His eyes were wide with shock and he still could hardly breathe.

"Upstairs," someone growled.

Dark brown shoes, together with Kathy's slippers, passed his field of vision as someone dragged her out of the kitchen. He gasped when they left. Still he was trying to just breathe when he heard them walk up the stairs.

Strong hands rolled him on his back. Above him were bright morning light and four strange men in black clothes with black masks. They took hold of his limbs and lifted him from the ground to carry him into the living room.

Elliot heard the scratching sound of a chair pulled into position. He was lifted even higher. Then they lowered him over the chair, someone forcing his arms back as they sat him down, so that his tied up hands came to rest behind the back rest.

One of the men wound another rope around his ankles to tie his feet to the legs of the chair. The same rope was threaded between the legs to the back and tied to his hands.

He groaned when it was pulled tight.

Only now all the hands let go off him.

Elliot could not see anyone. They all were behind him and he could feel their piercing stares in his back. He closed his eyes. The darkness did nothing to comfort him. It was even worse. He scanned the room with darting eyes, not daring to turn his head. Slowly his breathing eased. Everything was silent. No one spoke. Nothing was to be heard from upstairs either.

Finally one of the men circled the chair and stopped right in front of him. For long minutes he just watched the bound man.

When the guy bowed forward Elliot's look fell on the mirrored glasses that hid the man's eyes. He could see his own features, contorted with fear, and that scared him even more as well as it made him angry.

He stared at the black face with this mixture of fear and rage.

The man laughed.

"Hi, Detective Stabler," he purred.


	2. Chapter 2

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

**2**

**Central Park**

**Manhattan**

Olivia Benson enjoyed herself in the bright, warm sun. She met with Alex Cabot in Central Park. Knees and elbows of both the women were adorned with thick lined protectors and helmets, like the ones for bicycles, sat on their heads. On Sundays the closed streets of the park belonged to dancers, bikers, walkers and roller skaters.

It had passed some time since Olivia last had used her inline skaters. She needed a few minutes to get used to the rolling shoes again. But then she hunted Alex up and down the winding streets of the park.

Finally they stopped at a rock and sat down. Alex picked a sports bottle from her belt and drew several gulps. Olivia did the same.

"That's something totally else," Olivia breathed and lay back on the rock. Above her she saw branches and clear blue sky without any clouds. "And this Sunday, once again, will prove to be too short."

Alex laughed. "But it won't end before we ate Chinese, had some drinks and watched the new movie with George Clooney." She frowned a little. "And then I have to look through my pleading. Tomorrow will be important."

"Yeah," Olivia agreed. "And when you're finished the jury hopefully will speak them guilty."

"Hopefully?"

"They will. Before you'll start your pleading there will still be our best testimony. Their lawyers won't have a chance against my partner's statement."

"The show's not over before the fat lady sings, Liv." Alex had a pessimistic moment. "I don't know why, but I have the feeling that there might still go something wrong."

"It won't, Alex," Olivia said and sat up again. "I don't know how. Elliot will step on the stand, tell the jury what he saw and point at the defendants. And then it's game over."

Alex just shrugged.

"Somehow I have to lighten up your mood. Come on, Alex. I'll buy us some ice cream."

She got on her skates and reached out for her friend to pull her up.

"So, come on!"

Alex grabbed her hands and stood. At a relaxed speed they skated to the next stand with ice cream where Olivia bought two giant cones of maple chocolates. Gladly licking they skated towards the great lawn.

xxx

**Queens**

"Or may I call you Elliot?" The man cocked his head to observe his captive closely. "I mean we'll stay for a while so it would be better if we call each other by first name, don't you think?"

_Get out of my house!_ Elliot thought but remained silent. His insides churned. He was afraid that he might throw up. There was no way he could offend these guys. So he kept his mouth shut.

"You can call me… Barry," the man offered. "Will suit me for the time being."

Something touched his shoulder. Out of the corner of his eyes Elliot could see the belt of a bathrobe, perhaps Kathleen's by the color of it, draped over it. The man in front of him grabbed both ends and tightened it behind his neck, holding him, bending closer.

"At first you will just listen to me."

He was mere inches away of Elliot's face. It was obvious that he could see everything fine. All Elliot could see was his reflection in the glasses and the black cloth which covered the face. He smelled garlic.

The man let go of one end of the belt and pulled it from Elliot's neck. Then he made a knot in the middle of the fluffy strap.

"Don't panic." He came closer, was at his right side now and whispered in his ear. "I just want to make sure that you don't interrupt me."

From behind he laid his palms gently on Elliot's cheeks. Through the fingers of the left hand threaded the belt, the knot sticking between the knuckles.

Elliot gasped. He definitely did not want to have this in his mouth, but there would certainly be no chance to avoid it.

"Open up!" the man ordered him. "C'mon, Elliot. Open up!"

He quivered with fear. His lips shivered as fingers brushed lightly over them.

"My kids," he whispered.

"Your kids are upstairs," the man replied without hesitation, in a somewhat soothingly tone. "They are bound and scared, just like you, but they're okay. We won't hurt them as long as you follow the orders. – Now open up."

Elliot did not open his mouth voluntarily, but he did not resist either when the man grasped his chin and forced the jaws apart. First tears rolled down his face as the gag was placed between his teeth and tied behind his head.

"Now listen to me." He got another chair and placed it opposite of Elliot's to sit down astride. Then waited until Elliot solely focused on him. "I know you're scared. Perhaps you're even terrified. And you have good reasons to be afraid. We don't want to hurt Kathy or any of your kids, but we will if you don't surrender. Be a good Daddy and everything will be okay."

He beckoned one of his fellows. Another man appeared at Elliot's side and unbuttoned his shirt. He pushed it back and tucked it behind his back to expose chest and shoulders. Putting down a bag he produced an item that gave Elliot the creeps.

His eyes flickered to this thing and back to the man holding it, then to the man who still spoke to him but whose words did not reach his mind.

"Detective Stabler!" the man sitting across barked and Elliot jumped. "You shall listen to me! Did you hear what I said?"

Tentatively Elliot shook his head. If the guy was probably rolling his eyes or just stared he could not tell. The mirrored sunglasses blocked his view and could not tell him anything about his opponent.

"I told you that we'd give you a foretaste of what awaits Kathy and the kids if you don't submit."

Right then a terrified scream waved down the stairs. Instantly Elliot's hair stood on end as he recognized Kathleen's voice. As much as his bonds allowed, what was not very much, he reared. He craned his neck, knowing quite well that there would be nothing to see, and screamed into the gag.

At once the man was on him.

_Don't touch them!_ Elliot cried inwardly. Tears of rage shot into his eyes and rolled down his face. _You touch them, I will _so_ make you pay for it! You'll regret you ever came here!_

In fact there was nothing he could do. The scream stopped as suddenly as it had begun. His heart skipped a beat. What had they done to his daughter? Just a moment later steps approached down the stairwell.

"S'everything okay," a man said. "She got her gag off. Now she's tied up well. Won't reach it again."

The leader nodded and went back to his chair.

"Okay. Where did we stop?" He eyed his comrade and his captive, smirking under his mask. "O, yes… the foretaste."

Elliot's eyes widened as the other man closed in on him. Desperately he squirmed and struggled against the bondage when the first shock shot through his system.


	3. Chapter 3

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks to FutureMrsStabler, you made my day. Here's something to keep you from a heart attack... :) - It would be great to hear from you, too, The27thGilmore. Thanks to you, too. - And thanks to all who are reading...

**3**

**Queens**

Elliot's gaze fell on the clock which stood on the cupboard. It was barely 10 a.m.

_We'll stay for a while_, the man had said. _A while? What, exactly, did he mean when he said _a while_? And why should they stay in the first place? _Until now no one had told him the reason they were here.

Slowly the vertigo ebbed away. Strokes of lightning had hit his body and made him scream. His muscles still tensed from the electric shocks. It hurt.

"Elliot?" the leader asked lowly. "Elliot!"

"What?" he groaned around the gag, but did not face him.

"Look at me."

So Elliot raised his head. When he looked at the triangular mirrors the black head showed instead of eyes it gave him the creeps. He swallowed. Deep in his gut lay an icy cold lump that spread its cold slowly through his whole body.

"Did you get the point?"

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Yeah," he mumbled and nodded, only to look down again. There were marks on his chest where the shocker had discharged itself.

"Hey," Barry rose his voice. "Don't retreat! C'mon, Elliot, look at me."

But the detective refused.

"You want to get shocks again?" Barry asked menacingly. "You have to learn this. You can't retreat here and you can't retreat tomorrow even less."

_The first hint_, Elliot thought. He was electrified, this time just figuratively. And that made him look up. _Tomorrow? What is tomorrow?_

"I don't think that you want someone of your family suffer these. Am I right?"

Once again he nodded.

"Besides, you have to remember that three of them are female…" Barry's voice trailed off, leaving the threat open.

But it was all too clear for Elliot. His gaze burned with rage when he thought of these men possibly raping Kathy or one of the girls. He bit hard on the gag and strained against the rope.

"Hey, cool down." Now Barry sounded amused. "I told you that they're save as long as you submit. It's your choice."

He watched Elliot struggle for a while before he continued.

"Elliot? Do you listen to me?"

Slowly Elliot focused again.

"Good. Because I'll tell you just once. _This_ is not a negotiation. We have _demands_. And you will meet them or your girls will have to bear the consequences." He gave him some time to let the words sink in. "I know that you have worked hard on your statement together with your ADA, but nevertheless you'll have to change it."

_The trial against Domingo and Mendoza? _Elliot wondered.

"We will work on it today, so that you will be able to convince the jury tomorrow. But before I will release you, we will give you something to remind you of our agreement."

Barry went to the fireplace and put some of the tinder in.

Elliot watched him with growing discomfort. The man held a match to the tinder and first small flames licked over small pieces of wood. Then he laid bigger pieces in until a bright, hot fire was burning.

Renewed fear flashed through Elliot's body when he saw Barry pick up a metal bar with wooden handle to hold it into the flames, waiting.

xxx

**Central Park**

"And, still nervous?" Olivia asked.

"Now you reminded me…" Alex complained. She made a pirouette and came to a halt at a lantern. "That's fun. I should have fun more often."

"I know exactly what you mean." Olivia laughed, struggling to remain standing on the skaters when she used the same lantern to stop herself. "I guess I will have aching muscles tomorrow. But the fun was worth it."

"What's your partner doing with his free Sunday?"

"They wanted to go to Bronx zoo," Olivia said. "Told me something about a barbecue, too. I could have stopped by but you asked me first."

"So I'm spoiling your barbecue?"

"No, you've offered Chinese and a movie. That's great. Besides, I see him often enough during the week, don't you think?"

"He's your partner, Liv."

"Yeah. I'm not complaining, just stating the obvious."

After this second pause they skated off for another run around the lake. Just when they started Olivia turned. She could have sworn that she heard Elliot call her name. But as she looked around she could not find him.

_He's in the Bronx,_ she shook her head and followed Alex.

xxx

**Queens**

Elliot felt his whole body tense in anticipation as he watched Barry watching the bar. Occasionally the man stirred in the fire and got the bar out to check the end. After a while Barry slowly got up, the bar still in hand, and strolled back to Elliot.

The detective's eyes widened and he began to shake violently when Barry held up the glowing iron.

"I promise not to do this with your folks. This is just for you." He really sounded cheerfully.

This promise did not comfort Elliot. On the contrary he was petrified. His muscles, shaking uncontrollably only seconds before, were frozen. He could not breathe. While he watched the red end near he felt his body fail him and wetness between his legs. He almost passed out.

Just seconds later an inexpressible pain shot from his shoulder through his system and his muffled scream reverberated through the ground floor. Now he blacked out.

When Elliot woke up barely two minutes later, the gag was gone. His first reflex was to scream, the second to suppress it. So he tried to concentrate only on his breathing.

As much as he tried he could not get it even again. He could not digest what they had done. To cope with this was impossible right at this moment. To say that his breaths were erratic would have been an understatement. One moment he sucked in air and the next everything caught in his throat. He felt deeply vulnerable and humiliated.

They had branded him!

Once again he panicked when he felt someone tamper with the rope. The tension on his arms lessened and someone freed his feet. He calmed down a fraction. Still his hands were bound and still his heart pounded wildly.

Barry stepped in front of him again.

"We have a lot of work ahead. Are we ready to begin?"

Elliot heard the words but could not grasp the meaning, still too shaken by the pain.

Barry sensed his distress and granted him more time. The detective would not be of any use when his mind broke.

* * *

A/N: I don't know where all this came from so fast. Let me know whether you liked it or not.


	4. Chapter 4

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: As you can see, chapter 4 isn't the problem (actually it was already finished)… it's chapter 5… (so you'll have to wait a bit this time) :) big wry grin. BTW... _SVU is my life_, I guess Elliot didn't like it either...

**4**

**Queens**

Elliot jumped when he felt the metal bar under his chin. He squinted at the still red end at the left as with light pressure to the bar his head was raised

"Okay, Elliot. Can we talk?"

_No_, he wanted to scream. _Leave me alone!_ But he forced a low _yes_ over his quivering lips.

"Good." Barry bent a bit closer to him. "You're going to court tomorrow morning?"

"Yeah."

"What for?"

Closing his eyes, Elliot drew a deep breath to try and steady his nerves. Then another. Barry let him. When he opened his eyes again he looked straight past the black covered face.

"For to… make a statement in the trial, the State… the State of New York versus Domingo and Mendoza."

"Yes, that's right." Barry let the bar sink. He went back to the fireplace and put it in the stand for the poker. When he returned he sat down opposite of Elliot again. "And what will you tell the prosecutor?"

Elliot bit his lip. He would have watched the other man's eyes to try and figure out what he was supposed to answer, but all he could see there were the damned glasses. Before he said something wrong he remained silent.

"Answer me!" Barry spat.

_What?! _he thought frantically. He was running out of time.

"The truth," he finally whispered.

"Yeah." Barry's satisfied grin was clearly audible in this one word. "And Miss Cabot will be very surprised that it will be another truth tomorrow morning than it was Friday afternoon, won't she?"

"I guess so." He could not believe his own words. He already implied obedience.

"Well, I do hope so. If she's not surprised it will mean that you didn't follow my order."

Elliot just stared at him.

"That would be bad… for your family."

Since the attack with the glowing iron bar Elliot had been lost in his own fears. Now, that Barry mentioned his family again, he was thrown back into protector mode. He felt rage build up inside of him, but tried not to let it show.

"What do you expect me to say? I can't downright lie to her."

"Well, I guess that you'll prefer to make a perjury over losing your family."

Elliot ground his teeth and Barry laughed.

"That's why we're going to revise your statement," he became earnest again. "You'll have to convince her that you've done a lot of thinking over the weekend."

"No one will believe me."

"They will… or it's game over."

Elliot could not longer suppress his fury. His lips curled and he was sure that his narrowing eyes spread fire.

"Rage isn't a good advisor," Barry plainly said. "It will most likely lead to someone getting hurt." He smiled under his mask. "You don't want someone to be hurt?"

Even as he could not wipe the anger from his features he shook his head and lowered his look.

"Good." Barry gestured one of his men who stood behind the detective.

Elliot winced when they grasped his wrists to undo the tether. He felt the rope go loose and his body tensed in anticipation, like a crouching tiger. But at least two men held his forearms, still behind the back rest, so that he could not move. He struggled, breathing hard.

"And I thought I gave you a good reminder of what we are capable of," Barry said, tapping at his own right shoulder. "Cool down… c'mon, Elliot, cool down. How do you want to take notes with bound hands, hm?"

Slowly he relaxed, but he was still fuming.

"Let go," Barry told his men.

"But…" one of the others said.

"Let him go. He won't attack me."

When they released him, Elliot straightened up on the chair, flexing the muscles of his stiff arms and glowering at the black dressed man… but nothing more.

"Okay!" the leader said cheerfully and slapped both his thighs. "I guess you should change your pants. And then let's start work."

xxx

**Tang Pavilion**

**65 W 55th Street**

"This was a good idea, too," Olivia said. She enjoyed the atmosphere of the place. The soup they had had as starter had been excellent and they now were served Alex's Duck Shanghai and Olivia's Turkey Szechwan.

The waitress smiled and slightly bowed as she placed the requested sticks next to fork and spoon.

"Thank you," Alex said and picked her sticks up.

Olivia got them, too, and tasted a first bite.

"Hmm, it's great."

For a few minutes both women only concentrated on their meals.

"How's your duck?" Olivia asked.

"Just right. I'm glad you like it. I came here with Jack and Serena two months ago and tried to get here again… You know…"

"…the job," both finished together, chuckling.

"Any recommendations for dessert?" Olivia wanted to know.

"I'd like to try the baked banana. But the helpings are so big… I don't know if I can manage a dessert."

"We could share it," the detective proposed.

"That might convince me."

After lunch they still had time not only to get to the cinema but to have a drink, too. They sat in a diner across the theatre and had some coffee.

Olivia was a bit more silent now and Alex wondered what might have happened.

"Olivia? S'everything okay?"

She looked up from her cup. "O, yes, Alex. I'm fine." She grinned. "I guess I've caught your nervousness. I don't know why… I just feel… restless."

"We don't have to watch the movie," Alex said. "If you'd like to visit your partner, talk with him, then it's okay."

"He won't be back so soon," Olivia considered. "Lizzy told me about a project at her school. They all should choose an animal and write a theme. She wanted to email me when she is finished, because we chose the snow leopard together."

"A snow leopard?"

"Yes. Isn't it a wonderful creature? I like these cats… as long as the cat still is into its fur." She frowned. "Why does that remind me of the case again?"

"Perhaps because of caged and murdered animals," Alex guessed.

Olivia became more and more depressed. She remembered the case and everything what had happened during the arrest – as much as she could remember.

* * *

A/N: Thank you for your reviews _FutureMrsStabler_ and _The27thGilmore_. I can't refuse to update when I'm asked so nicely.

What was supposed to be a short get-the-head-free-for-_The Locust_-story becomes longer and longer. I really like working on it. I just am not sure if I can maintain the suspense. If you could let me know by reviewing… :) _small somehow embarrassed smile_…)


	5. Chapter 5

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Okay, folks, here it is, chapter 5. Now I'm curious… Oh, and **thanks** for the _patience_!

BTW… If I would have wanted a job where other people's lives depend on me, I would have picked another category, like "Dr. Quinn – Medicine Woman" or "Dr. House"… (winks). Have fun!

**5**

_**four months previous**_

**Manhattan**

"Is everyone ready?" captain Don Cragen asked the cops next to him inside of the mobile command centre as well as on the radio, and got confirmations in return.

"Okay. Let's go."

They all wore protective vests as they entered the premise. The suspects were considered to be armed and known to shoot when in trouble.

Detectives Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler were members of the first strike team, together with a SWAT unit. They entered fast and secured the single rooms.

The second strike team did the same, entering from the other side. John Munch and Fin Tutuola were among them.

Both groups cleared the ground floor in just a few minutes.

While the second team and half of the following officers went upstairs, the first team was looking for a way downstairs.

Their informant had told them that there were many rooms, and cells, but no entrance was found until now. Most of the base should be underground. It had to be somewhere.

The cops came down again from the other two stories.

"Nothing," team leader Haley shouted. "Upstairs was nothing at all."

"There has to be something," Olivia snapped.

"So it has to be downstairs," Elliot tried to calm her down. He could understand why she was frustrated.

"Then tell me how we get to _downstairs_!"

"What did the informant say, exactly?" John demanded to know. "Was there any hint that the entrance is hidden somewhere?"

"No. He just said that he was down there in the cellar."

"Then there must be a stair, and a door." Fin began to knock on the walls.

Several colleagues followed his example. They began to check every room's walls, but finally it was Fin who was rewarded for his idea.

"Over here!" He knocked again and it sounded hollow.

"There can be a door," Olivia said. "Do you see something which could open it?"

"No." Fin continued to knock for to see how big the opening might be. Yes, it could be a hidden door.

Olivia let her hands run over the wall in order to find a gap. "Here is nothing. How do you open that damned thing?"

"If it is a door at all," John grumbled.

While the others were looking for an entrance, Elliot concentrated on the TV which stood in the corner of the room and was trying to start it as well as the corresponding tape recorder. The tape inside might be evidence with recordings of the abducted women.

"Which of these damned things is for the TV?" he burst out. None of the many remote controls was working, no matter which buttons he was pressing.

_Chunk!_

Suddenly a part of the wall jumped forward, angles squealed and it swung open.

"How…?"

Elliot looked irritated at the remote controls in his hand. He shrugged and threw them back on the table to draw his weapon again.

The _how_ was not important anymore. Now the door was open and the teams regrouped to enter the basement.

Heavy thumps from combat boots echoed through the halls when the armed SWAT officers invaded them. Olivia turned to the left. Out of the corners of her eyes she saw Fin at her side as they went down the long hall. Still there was no one to see.

When this empty hall ended at a door, the SWAT team waited for a moment. Their leader gave his men signs, then he tried the door. It opened and the team entered.

This hall was totally different. The wall was covered with fabric wallpaper like in old style saloons and decorated with red lights. It actually looked like the cliché of a whorehouse. And that was exactly what the cops were looking for.

Abducted women who were forced to work as hookers… or worse. The case had started with a raped and tortured girl, barely fifteen, thrown away like rubbish into the Hudson. And now it would, hopefully, end here in this hell house.

Olivia heard terrified screams as the SWAT-team invaded and cleared the first room. She saw bare flesh, high heels, way too small bras, crying eyes. Shots thundered through the basement. They came from a distance. Someone of the second team was firing.

But Olivia did not have time to wonder who it might have been or why. She had to deal with the suspects right under her own nose.

The men were cornered and secured with cuffs, the women led to an empty room to stay there until the arrests were done.

Olivia knew that there were several suspects still missing. They only had captured the clients of this _exquisite_ whorehouse.

One of the women tapped her arm and pointed at another door, too terrified to speak. Olivia turned, saw Fin follow and banged the door open. A short corridor led to a parking lot.

_Shit, where is this leading us?_ Olivia heard steps, saw people and aimed at them.

"Police!" she yelled. "Stay where you are!"

Obviously that could not convince them. They ran towards two big limousines, possibly bullet proof.

"NYPD! Freeze!" Fin bellowed.

From where they were standing, they could not see everything. Part of the men were in shadows. What they saw, together with hearing thunder, were the flashes of gunfire.

Two terrible impacts into her protective vest brought Olivia down. A third bullet grazed her thigh. Fin jumped and rolled over his shoulder, then he was hit, too.

She heard more shots and clatter of shoes. That was Elliot's voice… She felt so dizzy…

Then she thought she saw her partner running after the suspects. She tried to get up, but instead, everything went black.

xxx

**16 Precinct**

**SVU**

"Do you know Dana Crichton?" Elliot asked and smashed the photo of the fifteen year old girl in front of Pablo Mendoza onto the tabletop, with his flat hand so that it clapped distinctly.

The South American glanced at his lawyer and acted according to his Miranda rights – he remained silent.

"Perhaps you know her better this way," Elliot said. His brows narrowed. With one thigh he was perched on the edge of the table as he fished another photo out of the file. For a moment he looked at it. "How she looked like after her session with one of your _clients_!" The last word literally spitting into Mendoza's face he slammed this second photo on top of the other.

It showed Dana lying on the riverbank of Hudson after police divers had recovered her corpse. The multiple cuts and stabs as well as welts were clearly visible. She also had scratch marks and her lap…

"I don't know this girl," Mendoza said dryly with thick Columbian accent. "Never seen her before."

"You really should recommend your client to co-operate with us," Elliot turned to the attorney. "It could spare him the death penalty."

"My client has nothing to say. He never did what you claim."

"Your client has been witnessed shooting at police officers, wounding them. That's attempted murder!"

"It was self defence, as he was attacked by masked men who did not identify themselves as officers."

"The best joke I heard today," John chuckled humorously. "So your client admits to have shot at Detectives Benson and Tutuola?"

"No."

"You don't have to." Elliot stood and closed in on the Columbian. "You were witnessed. And you'll go to jail."

"I don't think I will." Mendoza leaned back and crossed his arms.

"Oh yes, you will. You will do your time until you die of old age."

Mendoza did not react this time. Elliot was right beside him, bowing closer.

"Yeah. And you're in for murder, too, because you were watched killing Dana Crichton, as she was of no use for you after your _client_ was finished with her!"

"No one can watch me doing something I haven't done."

"Oh, well, I guess we'll let the jury decide this point," Elliot almost whispered in his ear, his voice hoarse with suppressed anger. "I, for my part, will do my best to convince them."

"Mi hermanos te voy a machacar!"

"Señore Mendoza!" his attorney scolded mildly.

Elliot's Spanish did not suffice to understand Mendoza, except of the _hermanos_, but the fury in his voice made him understand that it was a threat.

"Your brothers will join you in jail if they do something stupid!" he replied.

"Jamás. Puedes solamente soñar con este!" A smug grin accompanied these words.

"Mr. Mendoza. I know you can speak English, we heard you do it before. So quit this _machismo_ shit and begin to talk," John cut in before Elliot could be the one doing something stupid.

A knock on the back of the mirror interrupted their interrogation. John and Elliot left the room. Outside Alex Cabot was waiting with captain Cragen.

"Why do you get us out of there?" Elliot addressed the Assistant District Attorney.

"Because you should know about serious changes in your case before you continue," Alex replied.

"Such as…"

"Such as the woman who was willing to testify against Mendoza is dead."

Silence fell.

"What happened?" John asked.

Alex shrugged. "Cause of death is not clear. We have to wait for the ME's report." She looked at Mendoza. "I'm afraid we have to drop the charge on murder. We still have her statement, but as she can't testify…"

"Shit," Elliot voiced what everyone else was thinking. "Will we get him for abduction and attempted murder?"

"As long as none of the other women will talk… I doubt that we can charge him for that."

"And what about Olivia and Fin?" John demanded to know. "Elliot saw him shooting at them. He can testify everything."

"We can try, but we still have problems with the evidence."

"I saw them throw the guns away," Elliot protested. "I showed the CSIs where to find the weapons. They match with the projectiles out of Olivia's vest."

"As I told you, we can try. It's not me you have to convince, it's the jury. When we present our evidence the defence can, no, will be able to rise doubts. We need an unshakable statement to corroborate the evidence."

"You don't want to imply that my statement is not reliable, do you?"

"No, Elliot. You got that wrong. I just wanted to point out that this statement can decide the trial."

"And what, exactly, do you mean with decide?" John asked. "Do you want to say that Mendoza could walk free?"

"You know exactly what I mean, Detective. If we can't present a watertight case he _will_ walk free. I just want to know if we have 100 percent, 110 would be better."

"I just can tell you what I have seen and that was Mendoza and his buddy Domingo firing at Fin and my partner. I pursued them and they were arrested." Elliot's voice almost broke with suppressed anger. "End of the story."

"I just don't want the jury to doubt your statement because they are under the impression that you are a bit too confident for the reason that you want revenge for your partner."

"What do you want to insinuate? That I'm lying?!"

"You know the game, Elliot. That's exactly what the defence will try to trigger."

"I don't have any reason to lie! I'm telling the truth!"

"I know. We just have to make sure that the jury believes us. Just one can tip the case. We don't need ten or eleven jurors, we need twelve."

"What do you take me for? A bloody rookie? I know what a jury court is, okay!"

Alex looked at him sternly and shrugged. "You proof that in the stand, we won't have a problem."

xxx

"So the trial depends on you?" Olivia asked her partner when he was visiting her at her home. "You don't really want to tell me that, do you? There must be other evidence that can connect Mendoza with the abductions and Crichton's murder!"

"You're right, I don't want to tell you that, but that doesn't change the facts. We have the matching bullets and gun powder residue on his gloves, but no prints."

"For me that's forensic evidence. Who did the examinations?"

"Mack Taylor."

"So Taylor will testify and the jury will believe him. He's a great forensic expert. They didn't make him supervisor of the labs for nothing. He will convince the jury. Together with your statement the case should be watertight."

"The only reason why Alex agreed to charge them."

"You're kidding." Olivia shifted her position to relieve her injured leg and groaned a little when her bruised ribs hurt.

"No."

"What about the charge for murder? What about Dana Crichton?"

"The witness is dead."

Olivia just stared at him. "That's not true. How did _that_ happen?"

Elliot swallowed. That was a delicate question as she had been in protective custody. "She was poisoned."

"What?!"

"Yeah. But ME and CSU could not find out if she did it herself or if it was murder, too."

Olivia paled. "Elliot," she whispered. "If there's still someone at large who could have murdered this witness…"

He knew what she wanted to say.

"Promise me to be cautious," she urged him. "I can't back you up for the time being."

"I don't think that it will be necessary, but I promise."

With a wink he smiled at her this broad smile, including his sapphire eyes, that she loved so much because it was so much him.

"Okay," she conceded but an uneasy feeling still remained.

* * *

A/N: Ooops – no Elliot-at-home-with-perps in this chapter, I'm **_not_** sorry folks. Now you can throw all kind of things if you like…

_Translation_:

"Mi hermanos te voy a machacar!" analogous "My brothers will give you hell / chop you to pieces."

"Jamás. Puedes solamente soñar con este!" – "Never. You can only dream of it!" (he's also implying to be on first-name terms)


	6. Chapter 6

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for your reviews. It's nice to hear from you again, _The27thGilmore_: Who else…? I just can say that I'm a hopeless crossover-lover. Question answered?

Oh, and I need at least **_a bit_** time to get the story from my mind into the computer… don't push, okay. :) …insert wide grin)

**6**

_**Present**_

**Queens**

He stood in the hall, looking up the stairs, waiting for the masked man to reappear. Elliot wondered what Kathy and the kids would be doing, if they really were okay and if they were treated well… at least under given circumstances.

But Barry made it all too clear that he would not allow him to go up to check on them.

There he was. The guy threw a fresh pair of jeans and underwear as well as another shirt to him and the detective caught them. Then he went for the small bathroom. He laid the clothes aside and just reached for the doorknob when Barry cleared his throat.

"No, Elliot," he chuckled. "I won't tempt you, pal. This remains open."

Elliot's gaze wandered to the tiny window over the toilet.

"Do you think I'm stupid?" he growled. "That's way too small for me anyway." He felt that he could use the toilet again, but he could not let his water flow with all these spectators. "Do you all have to watch? That's not especially interesting, you know."

Barry laughed. "Get going, Elliot," he ordered. "Clean yourself up and get finished!"

Two of the men turned, one went to the kitchen. But Barry leaned against the doorframe and watched.

Under his stare Elliot felt as if he was drugged. There was a slight unsteadiness, just short of turning into vertigo. He knew it was caused by fear and it frightened him even more that his trained mind was not able to keep the panic at bay.

_It's okay_, he told himself. _It's quite normal. I should be worried if I wasn't afraid at all_.

Yet, he could not help his emotions. While he was using the toilet he had the first opportunity to think about what had happened and would possibly happen from now. And he had to admit that he was not only pretty scared, he was terrified.

The brutality and velocity in which they had invaded his home testified to the men's determination. He had not even noticed that they forced their way inside.

_What kind of a cop am I? They have taken my family hostage and I walked into their ambush without the slightest idea that something was wrong!_

He felt ashamed. When he came into the kitchen and saw Kathy's scared features only split seconds remained for him before they pushed the gun against his head and him to the ground. He had not even time to think. Utter terror overwhelmed him when his arms were grabbed and bound behind his back.

The bondage was gone now, but he did not know how he should move nevertheless. With every motion his right shoulder hurt as well as everything else slightly throbbed due to the electric shocks.

"A penny," Barry suddenly said.

"What?" Elliot croaked, silently cursing because he was not even able to speak properly.

"A penny for your thoughts." He chuckled. "But you won't tell me, am I right? Not even for a million."

_You can bet I won't_, Elliot thought. He just had undressed for to clean himself and to change into the other clothes when Barry addressed him. Now he heard him enter the small bathroom. Out of the corner of his eyes he glanced at the mirror over the sink. The masked man was right behind him.

In the next second Barry laid his gloved hands on Elliot's hips. The detective flinched. While one hand remained where it was the other brushed over his back, following the spine upwards. Elliot forced himself not to move. Every single muscle was hard with tension. But, he did not tremble.

"Well, I'm optimistic that I can guess," Barry said, resting his right hand between Elliot's shoulder blades. "You're wondering how this could happen to you. You're blaming yourself because you were not able to protect your family. And you're trying to banish the fear from your mind. How am I doing so far?"

Elliot did not answer.

"I can tell you that you have every right to be scared. We won't hesitate to do whatever we have to do to achieve what we want."

"Will you tell me exactly what that is?" Inwardly Elliot sighed because he managed to ask this question without to stutter.

"When you're finished here," Barry said. He removed his hands and stepped back. "C'mon. Move a bit faster."

Elliot swallowed, his fear as well as his pride. A few minutes later he sat down on the sofa in his living room. Barry slouched in the easy chair across the table and waited. Waited for…?

Elliot could help and ask him again. Finally Barry began to talk.

"Well, Elliot, as I already told you, we want you to change your statement. The aim is to achieve an acquittal for both, Domingo and Mendoza."

"It would be more than suspicious when I testify _for_ them," Elliot pointed out. "They would throw me in jail and forget that I'm there until I change my mind."

"Cabot's case is weak," Barry replied. "All you have to do is to rise doubt. An acquittal on reasonable doubt is sufficient."

"Reasonable doubt."

"Yep."

Elliot stared at open space. The memories of the day in question returned once more. He had no idea what he could do. They were guilty and he had seen them shoot…

"Elliot?"

His gaze flicked back to Barry.

"Where have you been with your thoughts?"

"The raid," he replied lowly.

"For to warm up, it might be best, if you give us the statement you planned to make tomorrow morning. Then we decide how to alter it. Okay?"

Instead to answer Elliot just nodded. It was not okay. How _could_ it be? His mouth was dry and he coughed.

Barry motioned one of his men with his head and a moment later a plastic cup with water sat in front of Elliot on the table.

"Give us this statement now, then we can have a break for late lunch afterwards." He sounded concerned. "You haven't even had breakfast. You must be hungry. No one can work with an empty stomach."

Barry leaned back in the upholstery and listened to what Elliot had to say.

xxx

Elliot was not allowed to get up from the sofa. Part of Barry's men were upstairs to guard Kathy and the kids, others moved between the living room and other rooms. At least one was in the kitchen, preparing lunch.

This made Elliot sick. He could not see the guy, but even the idea of him rummaging through the fridge and the cupboards made him furious.

When a plate with sandwiches was put down on the table he choked. He was hungry. Yet, his throat was corded up. He did not feel as if he could eat something.

"C'mon, Elliot, eat," Barry encouraged him. "I can hear your stomach from this distance."

_Now you're trying to be polite? Carrot and stick - the basics of brain-washing._ Suddenly he remembered Ylena and a chill shot down his back. _Three years! She survived three years of hell on earth! No wonder she developed Stockholm Syndrom._

Pictures of her prison in this otherwise neat and friendly house of the Morrows flashed through his mind. He saw the chains in the small space between wall and two extra pairs of doors. And he recalled the crate in which she was locked up and pushed underneath the bed to hide her.

"Elliot!" Barry's voice took on a note of annoyance.

Without even a trace of appetite Elliot picked up one of the sandwiches and took a bite. It tasted like cardboard and he suspected that everything he tried right now would insult his tongue in the same way, even if it would have been the most delicious Thanksgiving turkey.

He forced himself to eat two of the sandwiches, then he had to stop. There was no way he could eat more. Barry cocked his head.

"You're finished?"

"Yes."

"Then we should continue. Tell me once again what happened. It will do if you start with the invasion of the whorehouse."

Elliot's view was diverted sideways to one guy who scanned the books on the shelf.

"Hey," Barry hissed. "**_I_** am your focus, Elliot. They are not important. - And don't retreat!" he snapped when Elliot looked down instead. "You have to talk with _me_ now!"

For a moment he just held Elliot's rising stare.

"Okay. Let's just pretend that I'm Alex Cabot."

One of Elliot's brows shot up and a laugh caught in his throat before it made any sound. He could not tell if Barry did notice it. He choked it down again and continued to watch him.

"What was so funny?" Barry demanded to know.

_Shit. What now? Tell the truth?_

"Answer me!"

"I imagined you in a short skirt…" he said simply, because he supposed that Barry would notice if he tried to tell fibs.

Some of Barry's companions giggled with the imagination. Due to the masks none of the faces was readable. But Barry was the only one who did not react. No way to tell if he was amused or annoyed.

"Tell me your story," he finally ordered.

Elliot took a deep breath and started, "I went in with the strike team and turned to the right. We were in a long hall which ended in a large room, furnished with beds and cushions. Other team members made arrests while I entered another room. The men inside fled when they saw me and I pursued them. They ran into a parking space. I heard Detective Benson yell, ordering them to stop. They didn't. Instead they opened fire."

"Stop," Barry's cutting voice interrupted him.

"So what?"

"Tell me what you have seen right at this moment."

Elliot ground his teeth. "I saw Domingo and Mendoza in front of a limousine, aiming with their guns at Detectives Benson and Tutuola on my left, Tutuola shouted _freeze_, then they fired."

"And you're sure that's exactly what you have seen?"

"Yes."

"Wrong answer, Elliot!" Barry exploded. "No, you're not sure! Because the light was low, too low to recognize the men who were shooting!"

He watched the detective closely who just sat opposite of him, grinding his teeth and staring as if he wanted to kill with his looks. Well, he would not be too wrong with this assumption.

"Okay, Elliot. Once again. What have you seen at the moment you heard the shots?"

Elliot choked on the words. He knew what Barry wanted to hear, but he could not will himself to voice it.

"C'mon, Elliot, tell me!"

"I saw the men run into the garage and… and a limousine. It stood in the shadows. When guns were fired, I…" He could not manage it. He could not. Bile rose in his throat, followed by…

He choked. Barry looked expectantly at him. _Damn!_

"Could I…" His voice trailed off and he covered his mouth with one hand as he stood and ran for the bathroom.

Once more the men were laughing. Barry was annoyed. Slowly he followed the detective.

Elliot reached the toilet just in time when the two sandwiches worked their way back out. He knelt over the basin, trembling.

"What's the matter, Elliot?" Barry teased. "Don't you like tuna sandwiches?"

Bottled up feelings boiled inside of Elliot. Anger rose hot and sore and made him tremble even more. He heard Barry laugh.

"Or are you allergic? What is it? The tuna?"

Elliot shot up, turning, facing his adversary.

"No, you!" he spat.

If it would not have been for the mask he could have seen Barry's features freeze.

"Watch your mouth, Elliot," Barry scolded, his voice low and menacing. "You're not in the position to do anything except of what you're ordered to do."

Elliot stared at him. "Okay," he said lightly. "Next time I throw up onto your lap."

"You know that I didn't mean that." He came closer, invading Elliot's personal space. "Come."

He seized his left upper arm and dragged him towards the family room.

"Let go!" Elliot hissed and snatched his arm away from the grip.


	7. Chapter 7

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Hey, _iluvstabler_, are you crazy? His kids are upstairs! You can't shoot at the perps, the others would kill the kids. :-)

BTW… it's my grandma's birthday today (means big family meeting…), and I managed to update - two reasons for celebration. Well, it would be daring to expect 86 reviews, but how about 6 - 8... :-) :-) :-)

**7**

**Queens**

Barry reacted at once. He let go, but only to let Elliot make one step forward, so that he was now behind him. Then he pushed his right arm beneath Elliot's right shoulder, forcing the arm upwards as he hooked around it to grab with the same hand the back of the detective's neck.

Elliot flinched but he could not get away from this clasp. Barry spun him around, pushing him back to the bathroom.

"Do you apologize?"

Into the toilet Elliot saw the remains of his mishap and his stomach threatened to turn again. He choked and could not get any word out.

"You forgot to flush," Barry snarled, as he also got hold of Elliot's left arm, shoved him over the toilet and forced him down.

As much as Elliot reared, he had no chance. His knees hit the ground and his head dove into the basin. The grip on his left arm vanished, but he was cramped by Barry's legs, so that he still could not move. _No_, he thought, but gave no sound. The sharp smell of fresh vomit got in his nose. Then the button was pressed and water shot over his head, filling the basin.

Under his mask Barry breathed heavily with rage. He could not allow the detective to be rebellious. Behavior like that could not be tolerated. A satisfied grin touched his lips when he felt Elliot buck and struggle.

xxx

_At least they untied the ropes_, Kathy thought. Together with Kathleen and the twins she sat in Dickie's room. While she occupied the chair at her son's desk, the three kids were on the floor, playing monopoly. It was not a happy circle. They were playing just to make the time pass.

Her view wandered from her children outside of the window. The street was deserted. Most of the neighbors used the bright sunny day for sports, visits at friends or - as they had planned - to make a field trip. Lizzie had complained. She wanted to go see the snow leopard.

Kathy's heart ached when she remembered this moment. The next Lizzie clung to her waist, afraid of the men who held them prisoner.

Still, Kathy stared out of the window. She had watched the McKinseys leave for a barbecue, the Johnsons packed a rubber dinghy into the trunk of their car and Sullivans were gone since the late Friday afternoon.

She sighed. No one had told her what they wanted. All she knew was that Elliot was downstairs with them, alone. She could imagine that these men blackmailed him by threatening herself or even the kids. What could it be that they wanted so desperately that they took all of them hostage?

Her stomach rumbled. The sandwiches one of the men gave them for lunch seemed to dance rock 'n roll inside of her.

She looked at the clock on the desk. _When would she be back? Would she call first or would one of Sheila's parents drive her home?_

Kathy heard water rush in the pipes.

"That's my street!" Dickie complained. "You have to pay, Liz."

At least the kids seemed to be oblivious of the threat for the moment. She wished she could forget, too. On the other hand it could be dangerous to forget. As she did not know what might enrage these men she had to be cautious with all her actions.

xxx

Elliot coughed heavily when the water drained and he gasped for breath. Barry's clasp was merciless even though it could not be too hard to hold him down into this position. And his left arm was squeezed against his body by a leg. As much as he reared he could not shake the man off.

"Do you have anything to say?!" Barry barked.

The toilet cut him a break as it had to be refilled. Elliot coughed. His mind was numb. Even if he would have wanted to, he could not answer.

The swirling noise of running water faded and the button plopped back in place. Time to react…

"C'mon! Is there anything?" When Barry felt the body underneath him tense he did not hesitate. He reinforced his clasp, brought his captive deeper down and flushed again.

Elliot just could take a quick breath before the basin flooded again. The proverbial quick motion of his life did not come when he tried to hold his breath and oxygen became scarce. He panicked and reared like a bronco but to no avail. There was no air left and multicolored lights flashed in front of his closed eyes. Never before in his life he had noticed how long a toilet flush could be.

When he felt the water drain his breath exploded as well as his coughs. They hit his lungs forcefully what made him dizzy. Blood rushed in his ears.

Elliot was so glad to be able to breathe that he neither heard Barry's voice nor the plop of the mechanism. So he was totally unprepared when he was forced down a third time.

Barry on the other hand sensed that he stopped struggling, seized him back and let go.

Elliot slumped into the gap between toilet and cupboard. He panted painfully and he trembled. Still his breaths were erratic.

As soon as he breathed deeper again he was pulled up. Four times Barry had to reach for him before he got him on his feet. His head was pushed under the faucet to wash last remains of vomit away, then Barry grabbed both his arms from behind and shoved him back into the living room.

Elliot fell onto the sofa and did not move.

"Well, I guess this time you got the point."

xxx

**Manhattan**

Olivia could hardly concentrate on the movie. Every so often she glanced at Alex to check if her friend was distraught, too. It looked like she would enjoy the film.

So Olivia sat beside her silently and was brooding on her own.

After the innocent remark concerning the snow leopard she could not get the case out of her mind. It was not really helpful that her thigh began to throb again and she wondered if this was exclusively psychosomatic.

The gunshot wound was healed by now, so that it should not hurt at all. Yet, she noticed that it throbbed from time to time. One good example was the weather. Inwardly she chuckled. She had always thought that something like sensitivity to changes in the weather was humbug.

Once more she tried to follow the story of the movie but she had long lost the connection. So she was thinking again. She did not like the idea that her partner might make or break the case.

After the woman who wanted to testify against Mendoza had been killed, and yes it turned out to have been murder, she had tried to talk with her partner. But Elliot refused to listen to her. He rejected the possibility that the murderer of the woman might be after him, too, and she did not succeed in persuading him.

Well, nothing had happened since then. Tomorrow would be the last day evidence could be presented. Elliot would give his statement and then only the final speeches would be held. After that it was all up to the jury.

This time tomorrow they would work their new cases. So she decided to push aside her worries and settled back in her seat to try and enjoy the rest of the movie.

xxx

Barry towered over Elliot and stared down at him. Still the detective breathed hard. He was pale and shivered. Barry was under the impression that he was not aware of where he was and what was going on, at least not right at this moment.

His own fault. He had to be rebellious even though he knew that they would punish him. He tried to resist and endangered wilfully his family.

Well, okay, the wilfully might be exaggerated.

Someone cleared his throat. So Barry looked at his comrade who stood at one window facing the street. The man cocked his head towards the window.

Barry went over to see what was so interesting. There was someone coming up the driveway.

_Dang. Dong._


	8. Chapter 8

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Well… actually I wanted to wait a bit longer, but three reviews (thanks!) are better than no reviews (winks) … so I won't torture you longer… here it is, chapter…

**8**

**Manhattan**

John Munch sat at his desk in the SVU squad room. What a way to spend the Sunday. Well, the criminals were oblivious to weekends so the police had to do the same.

It was not that he was chasing suspects. He had to catch up with his paperwork and he could either do it this sunny Sunday or he would be in trouble over the week.

John did not miss much except of some sun that might help his tan.

His phone rang. Without to look up he reached for the earpiece. "SVU Manhattan, Detective Munch."

He laid his pen down when he heard who was on the other end of the line.

"Hey," he just said, knowing that the other man hated to be called by name on the phone. "What's getting me the honor of you calling?"

For just a moment he listened and then agreed to meet his informant. He shut down his computer and left the precinct.

Now he was out in the sun nevertheless. They met at _Bethesda Fountain_ in Central Park. His informant used the crowded place to remain anonymous. At least that was the idea.

"Hey, Munch," he greeted and stepped into shadows.

The detective followed him.

"Okay, Nestor, what's up?"

"Got some news about the trial." Nestor retreated deeper into the cover of undergrowth and shadow.

"Which trial do you mean?"

"Mendoza!" he said as if this would be the only logical possibility.

"So we're talking about Pablo Mendoza. What's the matter with the trial?"

"I can't tell. The information are foggy. But I know something else that might disturb you."

"Nestor, don't annoy me. If you have something to say, just say it!"

"How about a bit of encouragement?" the Hispanic asked, holding out his palm for a second.

"I don't buy a pig in a poke," John scolded. "Give me something to think about."

Nestor scratched his head. "I've heard that Mendoza's siblings are here in New York."

"His siblings?"

"Yeah, he has a big family, four brothers, numerous cousins, a lot of family bonds."

"We know. Who are we talking about?"

"Might be his brother Enrique. But I really don't know."

"And you're telling me that because you think that this brother is planning something." John held up some bucks.

"Yeah," Nestor took them. "Perhaps they'll try to free Pablo during his transport to or from court. The Mendozas know a lot of folks. And they like guns. You're probably looking forward to some shooting, Columbian style."

John stared at him. He did not want to imagine Medellin cartel like conditions on his city's streets.

"Do you have an idea where to find this guy?" he wanted to know.

"Sorry."

"Nestor, with what am I supposed to work?"

"You have to do some work on your own for your salary."

A deep frown shadowed John's eyes as he watched Nestor disappear. The trial was almost done. If something should happen, then it would happen soon.

xxx

**Queens**

Barry grabbed Elliot's shirt and pulled him into a sitting position. Then he slapped him with the flat hand into the face.

"Pull yourself together!" he told him. "There's someone at the door."

"What?"

"The door! Who is it?" He pulled him up and to the hall. "Do you expect someone?"

"No."

"No tricks. Try something and your son is history," Barry threatened in a low voice. One of the other men went upstairs to tell the others about the unexpected guest.

Barry stepped into a blind angle to the front door while Elliot stumbled over and opened it.

"Hi, Elliot," Teresa Deaver greeted. The Deavers were direct neighbors to their right.

"Hi, Terry. What's up?"

"Is Kathy at home? I'd like to ask her for her help."

Elliot swallowed. His mind raced. What should he tell her?

"No, Kathy's not here," he heard himself say. "She got a call from her Mom and went to see her. The kids went with her."

"And you? You're house-sitting?" She chuckled.

"I was called out last night." _What am I talking about? Damn! Can you help us? Call the police! _"She just woke me to tell me that she would leave."

"When do you expect her back?"

"I don't know. She wanted to call later. It can be afternoon, might be evening..." _I have to_… "Why do you ask her help?"

"Women's business. I want to prepare a surprise party for Calvin. I wanted to invite you all and I thought that she might be willing to help me."

"If you don't meet her later, I'll tell her that you've been here. I guess she will be pleased to help you. And if you need something from me, just call me, even at work." He tried to emphasize his last words without to raise Barry's suspicions. Suddenly he felt a gun in his back.

"I will, thank you," Teresa said, oblivious to what Elliot was trying to express. "See you."

"Yeah, Terry. Bye."

Just for a moment he watched her walk away, then he stepped back and closed the front door. The gun changed from his back to his head.

"Your luck she didn't notice it. What do you think? _Do_ you think? I'm not deaf, okay! And I'm not dumb either." He grabbed his arm. "Come. We have some work to do."

And he shoved him back to his comfortable prison which he had used to call living room.

xxx

**Manhattan**

"Hi, partner. Can you help me?" Fin clearly heard John ask.

"What is it?"

"Got some information about the Mendoza case."

"Mendoza?" Fin was astonished. "The trial is almost done. What can there be?"

"One of my informants told me that Mendoza's siblings are in town. He said that they might plan something to free their brother."

"A reliable source?" Fin inquired.

John remained thoughtfully silent. If he told his partner the truth he could have saved himself the call.

"Yes," he finally answered.

"It's one of the guys from your freak club, right?" Fin guessed and met another silence on the line. "Oh Munch, please spare me with your conspiracy theories," he grumbled.

"It's no theory."

"Do you have any proof for their arrival? Passenger's list? Eye witness?"

"No," John had to admit.

"Why do you want to ruin my Sunday, partner? What have I done, hm?"

"I thought you might be willing to help me prove it."

"Do you want a polite or a honest answer?"

"C'mon, Fin. You owe me," John tried to convince him.

"You can talk with Cragen anytime you like, John. We had a heart-to-heart last week. And I don't remember any other sins to confess. So you don't know anything to blackmail me with."

"You don't do it just because we are friends?"

Now it was Fin's turn to think for a moment. John was not sure but he thought he heard someone else in Fin's nearness.

"You're not alone, partner?" John asked. "You're with a girl?"

"And what if I was?" Fin growled. "Does it change anything?"

"I'll call Olivia."

"Do as you have to do, John."

"Have fun."

Fin hung up before John could even finish these two words.

"Yes, partner. Thank you for nothing."

Okay, he was unfair now. But still he felt annoyed. Why was he annoyed to begin with? Yeah, Fin was his partner, and his friend, but that did not give him the right to order him around.

John chose another speed dial button and waited.

"_This is the mailbox of Olivia Benson…"_

So he finished the call. Now there was only one of their gang left. He tried the home number.

"_Hi, you've reached the Stablers,"_ he heard Kathleen's cheerful voice._ "We're not at home so try it later or leave a message after the beep. BEEP!"_ all the four kids shouted.

John smiled to himself. That was new.

"Hi, here's John," he told the tape. "Can you call me back, Elliot? Thanks."

_He will have the head full with the testimony. And he's with his family for once._ John shrugged._ Okay, I'm on my own. Let's see what I can find._

* * *

A/N: Where is this going? I don't know myself. But if you'll stick with me we'll find out together… I just know that there's still a long road ahead, or, as _The27thGilmore_ mentioned earlier, "a long, treacherous stretch down the Trans-Canada Highway ". 


	9. Chapter 9

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

**9**

**Queens**

The phone rang only minutes after Terry's visit.

Elliot flinched when he heard the ringing tone and once more when the voice of Kathleen sounded from the hall. When they all shouted _beep_ their faces flashed on his mind, Kat's, the twin's, Maureen's…

_Maureen! Oh my God! Oh Lord, no!_

He did not hear John's short message. Fear grabbed for his heart when he remembered that Maureen had been with her friend Sheila overnight.

_What did she say when she would return? Dear Jesus, she'll step into a nightmare, the same nightmare we're already trapped in._

But it would be impossible to call her. Any way to warn her? He had no idea.

"Who was that?" Barry's voice startled him out of his thoughts. "One of your co-workers?"

Elliot looked up at him. "Sorry, I did not listen to the call," he replied. _Jeez, now I apologize to this scumbag._

"Who is John?"

"Must be John Munch," Elliot explained. "He's with my squad."

"He asked you to call back… something work related?"

"I have no idea. I really did not listen to what he said!" Elliot insisted. "Did he tell anything about work?"

"No."

Elliot shrugged. "Then he might be bored as well, perhaps wanted to ask me out for a beer. If it's important he'll call again."

Barry thought about it.

"Okay. Then let's continue."

Inwardly Elliot sighed. Since his experience with the toilet he preferred to work on the testimony for the present. He made his statement in the strong and earnest tone he usually assumed when he was on the witness stand, interrupted by Barry from time to time to alter some facts.

With every word he became a bit calmer again. Yet, he felt a restlessness that seemed to burn him inside out. He felt that there was still more to worry about.

When he had finished one turn, Barry got up and went to the kitchen. Elliot remained on the sofa.

Furtively Elliot looked at the three men who also were in the family room. Each wore the same black clothes and masks as well as dark glasses. It was their mere presence which made him feel uneasy. Well, that was an understatement.

It made him sick. His empty stomach still rolled unpleasantly.

Because of stress? Because he was hungry? Elliot did not know. He did not care either.

A ton seemed to weigh on his shoulders, his responsibility for his family.

He gasped when he felt hands on his shoulders.

"Did I scare you?" Barry asked innocently. "You should relax a bit. C'mon, Elliot, lean back."

Slowly he let himself sink against the upholstery of the backrest… and as result also let some of his guard down. At once he felt more vulnerable.

"That's more comfortable, isn't it?"

Elliot tried to nod because he did not trust his voice.

"Get some rest," Barry supposed. "C'mon. You can lay your head on the backrest."

What sounded so innocent and easy was more difficult than expected. When he would bend his head back he would offer them his unprotected throat. And that gave him the creeps.

"Oh, Elliot, you're totally cramped. You really should give yourself a break."

Lightly Barry laid his index finger underneath Elliot's chin. He just pushed a little, only to _encourage_ him to obey.

And, gasping for breath, Elliot did obey. Tremors passed his body when he bent his head back. The black mask was directly over him. The glasses reflected his face, the wide opened eyes and the quivering lips. He took a deep breath and tried to regain control over his body.

"You see, there's nothing to be afraid of. Why should we hurt you? You wouldn't look good in the stand if we give you a black eye or anything else."

Elliot spared him an answer. It probably would have changed Barry's mind.

"You wanted to go to the Bronx zoo today?" Barry said. "Your folks talked about it. Wanted to see anything special?"

"No." Barry had not to know about the school project.

"You probably would have seen wolves. Do you like wolves?"

Elliot remained silent.

"I like them. The ancestors of nowadays dogs have a lot in common with us. I mean their structure, the organization of the pack. They know hierarchies, too. Do you know how an inferior wolf approaches the alpha male?"

"I guess I will hear it now."

"They are crouching in front of him. And they offer him their throats to prove their trust and obedience." Now he laid his hand on Elliot's throat. "As response the alpha male takes it into his mouth to acknowledge the submissiveness and to show that there's nothing to fear."

Barry felt the slight tremor under his touch. He could watch how the fear in the crystal blue eyes changed to rage.

"You should be careful, Elliot. As I already told you, I might not want to cause pain, but I will if I have to."

Elliot did not doubt that, but he could not withstand an opportunity to resist either.

xxx

His badge and a lot of charm wormed John the way inside the airport's computer. The clerk who answered his request would now insist on dinner with him, but he did not care. She seemed to be nice and it should turn out to be a great evening with her.

"I'm sorry, Detective," she purred. "I'm eight weeks back now but I haven't found someone with name of Mendoza."

"Check all flights from Columbia the last four months," John asked her.

Her fingers flew over the keyboard. Then she shook her head.

"Sorry. And I would have thought that Mendoza would be such a common name as Smith. I really am sorry."

"It's not your fault. I owe you dinner," he reminded her of their agreement. "I'll call you."

She did not seem to be convinced but she smiled at him and nodded.

_So they did not come over JFK. Or they used false identities. Or they had another stop and came over LaGuardia. They even might have a plane of their own. Must be a rich family, so they really might have a plane._

John sighed. He really would have use of his partner. But he knew better than to call again.

xxx

Kathy held the twins in her arms. Kathleen sat in front of her on the ground and leaned against her legs. Monopoly did not suffice anymore to distract the kids from the foreign men in their house. Kathy was humming a simple melody to try and soothe them all, but she knew that it was as good as in vain.

"Mum?" Lizzie asked. "What do they want from us?"

"I don't know, honey," Kathy had to admit.

"Do you think it's because of Dad's work?"

"Maybe," she agreed, not sure if she should talk about this.

"Will they hurt us?" Dickie wanted to know. "I don't want Lizzie, Kat or you to be hurt…"

She could not help but notice that her son spared himself and unconsciously she hugged him tighter.

"What do they want from him?" Kathleen asked toneless without to look up. She did not doubt for an instant that they had come for her Dad.

That was what Kathy already was thinking about since the men came in this morning…

_They had all been into the kitchen, when she caught a glimpse of someone being in the garden. She suspected it to be Maureen who came back earlier because she decided to accompany them all to the zoo, so that this shadow did not rise any suspicions. Then she heard the thumps of boots on the terrace and went for the living room to check it out._

_That was when the first man entered through the back door._

_Kathy did not know how he did open it. It did not matter. She opened her mouth to cry out but the man was faster and had her in his arm just a second later. He laid his gloved hand over her mouth and pressed a gun against her body._

"_Don't give a sound," he hissed in her ear. "Stay calm and I won't hurt you. Where are the kids?"_

_She pointed towards the kitchen… and saw Kathleen standing in the door to the living room. Her daughter's eyes were wide with surprise and Kathy wondered why she did not scream._

_Kathleen whimpered when she saw more men behind her mother. The first pushed the woman forwards to the girl and both inside of the kitchen._

"_Mom? Is it Mau…?" Lizzie's question died in her throat._

_The twins cried out. Two men rushed in and caught them, before they could run out and scream the whole neighborhood together._

It's just because everything happened so fast_, Kathy thought. _No one of us had time to react. And where did the others come from? They must have come in through the front door, too.

_Someone had rope and began to tie them all. Even the younger kids were bound, arms behind the back. Everyone was gagged with duct tape. Now none of them could warn the one who might tip the scales._

The one who would do nothing to defend himself when he had to fear that his kids might be hurt,_ Kathy thought._

_Her kids were guided into the family room. She had to stay in the kitchen. They waited. Kathy did not know how long. She did know that he was under the shower and then had to dress. It could not take long… She heard his steps on the stair._

_Kathy also knew that she would never forget the expression on his face when he came in, saw her standing there and felt the muzzle against his head. The split seconds their gazes met she saw the terror light up in his eyes. A terror she did not expect to be possible in him. She heard his gasp when he was pushed down to the floor. Then they bound him, not only the wrists but also the ankles._

"_Upstairs," one of the men said and the one who held her dragged her out of the room. She was forced to go upstairs. Just a minute later the kids joined her. They all had to sit down on the floor._

_This short moment in the kitchen had been the last time she had seen him. Yes, she was scared. But when the men recognized that they were over their shock, they asked them if they would remain silent and released them when they agreed. She was relatively certain that Elliot would not be so lucky._

"I don't know, Kat," she admitted. _I don't know_.

She was glad that the kids had not seen him go down like this. They still seemed to believe that he would be the one rescuing them. She was afraid to know better. She counted at least six, maybe eight men. Three of them were upstairs with them. Then the others had to be with their leader and Elliot to guard him. _He_ was their prime target! So they had to know he was a cop. They would be careful not to give him a chance to escape.

_What he would not dare to try,_ Kathy suspected. _Because he did not want to leave them at the mercy of this men._

"You want to play something else?" Dickie asked his sister.

"I don't know," Lizzie sobbed.

"How about the _Labyrinth_? You like it, I know. I'll give you four points to be ahead."

She could not resist this offer. Lizzie really liked the _Labyrinth_ but seldom managed to beat her brother. So she followed him down on the floor again to get the game out of its box. Kathleen remained where she sat. She watched her younger siblings play for a while then she looked up at her mother. Kathy bowed forward to hear what she was whispering.

"Will they kill us?"

Kathy's heart leaped in her throat. She did not expect such a question and wondered at the same time why she did not expect it.

"I don't think so," she replied after a moment's hesitation.

"How can you know that?" Kat did not sound scared, more curious.

"They are all masked. We can't identify them."

Kathleen thought about that.

"Will they kill Dad?"

_Not until they got what they want_. Kathy could help and say that aloud.

"No, Kat, they won't," she murmured instead.

"You can't know that for sure," Kat whispered back. "I want to believe it, but I'm so scared."

"I know, honey," Kathy replied and pulled her daughter up to sit on her thigh. "I know. Come here." She wrapped her arms around her and hugged her tight. Soon she felt tears wet her shoulder.

Kathy's view wandered from Kat's hair to the twins on the floor and out of the window when she heard a motor. A car stopped at the curb right in front of their house.

* * *

A/N: Thanks to all my loyal readers (and the new one who reviewed). I'm so glad you're with the story. You make worth the effort. Thanks so much. 


	10. Chapter 10

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Hey folks. Olivia? Munch? Well, it won't be Terry again, so let's see… :-)

Dear _iluvstabler_, I haven't thought about this brand as anything else than a burn left by a glowing iron, to hurt and humiliate Elliot – until you asked. This chapter is for you. Now see what you have triggered…

**10**

**Queens**

The men in the living room also heard the car. One looked outside.

Disregarding Barry, who still towered over him, Elliot sat up. Barry was too curious to reproach him for his disobedience.

From one second to the other Elliot's heart rate skyrocketed again. He was certain that this was Maureen. He could not allow his daughter to come in. But what should he do? He did not waste any thought on his own security. It was all about Maureen and the others. The others, the twins and Kat!

Her blond shock of hair approached the front door. The bell rang, then she knocked.

"Hello? Are you already here?" she called.

"Who's that?" Barry asked.

_He doesn't know her. God, how can I warn her? She still can escape._

Maureen shouldered her rucksack and jogged alongside the house towards the backdoor.

"Mom? Dad? Are you home?"

_Now or never_, Elliot thought, hearing her shout again.

"I forgot my keys!"

"She belongs to your family?" Barry was alarmed. "You're a lucky man… three daughters." He gestured his men.

_No!_ Elliot jumped to his feet, grabbing a paperweight from the coffee table. Before someone could hinder him he threw it towards the window and one pane shattered under the impact.

"Whoa! What the hell…?" Maureen stopped in her tracks. She was almost hit by the paperweight.

"Maureen!" Elliot screamed. "Run! Call 911, run!"

He could fend off one of the men, but another punched him hard in the back. Momentarily stunned he did not fight, when this man grabbed him around the waist.

"Maureen!" he screamed again and his voice broke.

Two men followed her as she spun on her heels, dropping the bag, and started back towards the street.

_Run!_ Elliot thought, _run, run, run!_ He himself was caught by Barry. An arm hooked around his neck and pressed on his throat. He grabbed for it when he was seized backwards. He could not breathe. The grip was merciless. Elliot choked and dizziness crept in his mind.

Just a moment before he blacked out, Barry released him. Elliot dropped out of his grasp and on his knees, slumping forward. Now he was on his fours, coughing, choking.

He heard muffled cries and footsteps.

_No!!!_

The men came back in, one of them holding Maureen in a brutal embrace. He pressed her arms against her body, just lifting his hand with which he had covered her mouth to prevent her from yelling.

"Daddy?!" she croaked as she was dragged around the corner towards the stairs. "Daddy!"

He could not answer, he could not even look. All he could do right now was trying to breathe. Damn, that became some kind of strange, new hobby. They liked to cut his air supply one way or another when they wanted to punish him.

Barry grabbed his shoulder and jerked him back. The man's hand took hold of his chin like a vice and forced him to kneel upright, bending his head back. Bowing over him, Barry's face came close to his own, forcing him to look into the mirrored glasses. Then Barry brought his mouth next to his ear.

"Don't do something stupid like that again," he whispered menacingly.

Tightening his grip even more he pulled at Elliot's neck to make him stand up. Backwards he dragged him to the sofa and pushed him down. He was over him in split seconds.

Elliot did hardly dare to move. Again his lower jaw was held painfully. This way he was nailed against the backrest. Barry's free hand brushed over his right shoulder, there, where the iron left its mark.

He sharply drew in air through his gritted teeth as the pain spread from his shoulder.

"Tiene cojones, este madero!" someone shouted. Other men jeered.

"Yeah, we should crop his feathers!"

"Shut up!" Barry replied. He wanted to concentrate on his captive. So he turned to face him again.

"Well, I thought, one reminder would be enough. And the spot where we put it is both, easy to be hidden and prominent. I mean, I could repeat the procedure with your backside."

Elliot squirmed. _Oh, yeah, I'm hell-bent for that_.

"Let me tell you something. You've probably seen the combined letters, _R_ and _M_? It's the family brand of the Mendozas. Pablo's grandfather, Ramón, forged it himself. The cattle and sheep are marked with it." Barry lowered his voice to a hiss. "You know what that makes _you_? - Exactly the same as Kunta Kinte." He snickered. "You got that or shall I tell you? We own you, Elliot. Your life is ours now."

_No, no, no,_ it hammered endlessly in his head. Yet, he kept his mouth shut. He did not feel like being branded on his ass, too.

xxx

**Manhattan**

Olivia stared at the phone. She regretted that she had not asked Alex to stay a bit longer. She did not want her to go. She wanted to talk. But she knew how hard the next day might become and so she let her go to work on her final speech.

It would be so easy. The number was programmed.

_No_, she decided. _It's not necessary. I'm not desperate to talk. He has so little time together with his family due to our job…_

_He has family to care about. I'm alone_.

She _was_ alone. Right at the moment she felt not alone but lonely.

But she knew one thing for certain: Her partner would not let her down when she asked if they could talk. He would even invite her to come over or, even worse in this case, offer to come to visit her. If he was under the impression that she really was upset he would stand on her doorstep in less than one hour, invited or uninvited.

She could not do that to him, and not to Kathy and the kids who would be glad to have him at home for at least one day. Particularly since she knew that his and Kathy's relationship was already burdened by his job.

Olivia suspected that Kathy also had problems with Elliot's relationship to her, his partner. They spent more time together than Kathy or the kids could ever wish for. And, by now, she probably knew him better than his own wife.

No she could not call and bother him with her insignificant problems. She did not even know why she felt bad. They only would end up talking endlessly, analyzing, trying to find the origin of her depression.

She chuckled to herself, a bitter chuckle._ When did he change? I can't remember…_

But she did remember a couple of occasions when it got late because of paperwork or when they went out for _one_ drink to relax and stayed longer then intended or were called out just before they could finally drive home, and she had to remind him to call at home. The first time it happened it did not strike her at once. He looked puzzled and ashamed when she reminded him and he left only a few minutes after the call if possible.

When was the first time he called and _forgot_ to leave nevertheless? They never had talked about things like that. Perhaps she should ask him if they had problems. Perhaps he expected her to ask. Well, they had to clear up this matter.

Now that she thought about it, Olivia was under the impression that Elliot and Kathy actually might have problems when he started to avoid her. No, she did not doubt that he loved his wife. And she certainly did not doubt his love for the kids. But she could not deny that there was something in a sorry state.

_No! I can't call. What if Kathy's answering the phone? He'll be in trouble with her._

So she continued to watch the damned phone. She looked at the clock on the wall, and then again. Only minutes had passed.

_To hell with the good intentions!_ She grabbed the phone and pressed a speed dial button. Her call was answered after the second ring.

"Yes, hello? Is this you, Megan? – It's Olivia Benson. I'd like to order a big Hawaiian Style. – Yes, as usual. – 30 minutes? Thank you."

She stood up and went for a hot shower to try and relieve her aching muscles before the pizza arrived. Don't mind the calories…

Yes! A big cheesy pizza with pineapple and then ice cream! That should soothe her stirred mind.

* * *

A/N: Okay, folks, now it's your turn again - it's review time… :-) 


	11. Chapter 11

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

**11**

**Queens**

Barry quickly changed his mind and ordered one accomplice to get Maureen back to the living room. Elliot had slightly relaxed under Barry's touch. That changed rapidly when he spotted his daughter.

"No," he cried, sitting up. "Let her go!"

Barry pressed him back down. "Last time I checked you weren't in the position to have anything to say here," he bellowed. "How often shall I tell you?!"

"You have what you want. Don't touch her!"

The fury in Elliot's voice requested a corresponding reaction. Barry straightened up and, with the back of his hand, slapped him hard in the face so that he smashed into the cushions.

"Daddy!" Maureen screamed and tried to wriggle out of the hold of her captor.

Stunned, Elliot remained where he was while Barry went to the girl.

"Elliot!" Barry shouted. "Elliot! You should come over here."

One of Barry's arms wrapped around her chest, pressing her arms against her body, Maureen stood trembling. Desperate whimpers escaped her while she tried to free herself, but she could not reach the man's arm. She wriggled against his clasp when his other hand reached for the buttons of her blouse. Tears streamed down her face.

It broke Elliot's heart to see her in this horrible position. It felt as if icy cold fingers bore into his heart and squeezed hard. He scrambled to his feet and stumbled over towards his daughter.

"Stop!" Barry ordered. "Just one more step."

Elliot made it, now barely one yard away.

"Down on your knees," the man hissed. "Now!" he added when Elliot did not move at once.

Scared stiff Maureen stood, staring with widened eyes at her father as he slowly sank on his knees.

He could not meet her stare. Most of all he wished to close his eyes and to recognize that everything had been a bad dream when he opened them again. But that would not happen. He knew it. And he was about to realize that he had no other chance than to surrender.

"Daddy?"

Maureen's whisper pierced his heart.

"You have good genes. She's such a pretty girl," Barry purred, caressing the girl's cheek. "I'm tempted to take her myself if you give me reason to do it."

Maureen gasped and Elliot's head shot up, his eyes spreading fire.

"I told you before to be cautious, Elliot."

It was all Maureen could do not to cry out in panic as she saw the light in her father's eyes die with Barry's threat. He lowered his look and remained silent. Still he was breathing hard.

Barry held his right hand out, down in Elliot's field of vision.

"Choke yourself," he ordered.

Elliot gasped. He stared at the black gloved hand that floated in front of him.

_Oh God, no_.

Once more Maureen whimpered. She could not talk anymore. Each word caught in her throat and died away to a moan. She did not want to believe her eyes when her father really leaned forward and brought his neck down between the fingers that closed merciless.

Barry released his grip on her.

"Run to your Mummy!" he spat. "C'mon, go!"

Maureen was too terrified to move. Another man grabbed her upper arm and pulled her away towards the stairs.

She did not see that two others seized Elliot's arms and jerked them back to tie his wrists. They pulled him up, out of Barry's hand. Their leader got a length of rope and squatted in front of the detective to bind his legs. Thoroughly he fastened it to the ankles. Then he circled Elliot and also wound rope around his upper arms, directly above the elbows. When he tightened the cord Elliot groaned. His arms were twisted painfully and also his shoulders and back hurt. The rope was tied to his wrists as well and connected with the tether between his legs.

Satisfied Barry slapped his hands. He got the belt of the bathrobe and reached for Elliot's face from behind. The detective flinched and clenched his teeth. Wildly shaking his head he tried to avoid the hand. It did not help, he got no chance. Barry got hold of him and forced his jaws apart. Once more the knot in the belt was placed between his teeth and he choked hard. The slightest of whimpers escaped him when the gag was knotted behind his head.

Barry did not see the single tear that rolled down over Elliot's cheek into the fluffy belt. And if he would have seen it, he would have laughed.

xxx

Maureen crouched at the feet of her mother, who still sat at the desk, her hands clawed in her clothes. She felt her Mom's hand run over her hair soothingly and heard the hums, but she could not be soothed.

Her heart was beating wildly in her chest. What she had just witnessed shocked her to the core and there was no way she could put her thoughts in words right now.

Her soul ached.

When she had heard his cry and seen the men run out of the back door, her heart leapt into her throat. She spun round and ran, but the men grabbed her and seized her back towards the terrace and into the house.

Maureen did not know what to expect to find inside. The sight of her Dad on the ground, on his fours, gasping for breath made her heart beat faster. They brought her up to her brother's room, but soon were back again. Her blood still rushed in her ears when she was dragged down the stairs this time.

Right then her father was on the sofa, a man bowing over him. This man came to her and wrapped his arm around her waist in a vice like grip. Fear grabbed for her heart again when he reached for her blouse.

But everything was forgotten, when she watched her Dad come over and kneel in front of her. What gave her the creeps and almost drove her out of her mind was that he actually followed the man's order and leaned forward into the choking clasp of his hand.

She wanted to scream but no sound left her mouth. Then she was forced to leave, upstairs once more, and pushed into Dickie's room.

There she sat, convinced that this man had strangled her father, and was crying unstoppably.

xxx

Fin could not really relax again. Even the company of this incredibly female built dancer he had met a few weeks ago could not distract him from his thoughts.

Had he been too harsh with John? Could there actually be more to the rumors John loved to spread about all kinds of conspiracies? Should his friend of the _freak club_, as he, Fin, used to call it, have to tell something important this time?

_They share their affection for conspiracy theories there_, he reflected. _Can there really come something useful from these guys?_

"Fin, what's the matter with you?" the dancer complained. "Who called you a while ago? A colleague?"

"My partner," he replied absentmindedly.

_On the other hand you don't know where he gets his other tips from. They might as well have helped in other cases…_

"Fin?" She sounded tired and sad. "What did he want?"

"He asked my help," he grumbled.

"You were called to a scene and didn't go?" Now she was alerted. "You can't…"

"It was not official, okay," he mumbled and turned to the side. "It was just John who asked for a favor."

"Then why are you upset?"

"I'm upset?"

"Well, you're not so funny anymore."

He did not want to discuss that. Why should John's call ruin his lazy Sunday?

"It does bug you, right?" she mused.

"_He_ does bug me," he grumbled back. "Tries to blackmail me…"

Fin grabbed for his phone, but only reached John's mailbox.

xxx

Olivia felt stuffed. Two slices of pizza Hawaiian style still remained in the box, but she could not eat more.

She took the dark green bottle and poured another glass of red wine before she leaned back against the cushions again. On the screen of her TV Julia Roberts ran once again from her wedding ceremony, followed by the incredulous stares of her groom.

But even _The Runaway Bride_, one of her favorite movies, could not distract Olivia from her brooding.

So she stopped the DVD and turned the TV off.

_Damn,_ she sighed. _This sucks. I prefer a work loaded weekend over this_.

She got the phone and dialed.

* * *

A/N: Okay, folks, we're at a turning point. I have two ideas for to where to go from here. You could help me to make a decision by throwing a coin… Heads is bad, tails is worse. Okay, let destiny decide… :-) 


	12. Chapter 12

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks so much for the "_coins"_ and the new _record!_ Now I know that you can also be mean (and that I must be doing something right here). Destiny leads to a worse scenario. So be it. I won't torture **_you_** any longer (extra grin for _FutureMrsStabler_…). Hope you enjoy nevertheless (or should I say because of?... _insert vicious laughter_). Here is chapter…

**12**

Captain Don Cragen was astonished when he saw the caller identification on his phone.

_What's wrong_, was his first thought. _What has happened?_

"Cragen."

"Hi, Cap."

"Hi, Olivia," he replied. "What's up?"

"Hum. Actually I'm not sure. But I did not want to call Elliot instead. They're making a barbecue tonight."

"Where are you?" her boss wanted to know.

"At home." She sighed. "I have nothing specific to do, I mean, to occupy my mind. Did anything happen this weekend?"

"Not as far as I know. Would you like to go to work, Olivia?"

"I'm not sure of that either. I just need something to keep me from thinking too much."

"Well, what's wrong about thinking? It's our most efficient weapon."

"As long as we think about a case, yes," Olivia confirmed. "My head seems to be on overdrive. I'm worrying about tomorrow. Elliot will testify in the Mendoza trial."

"So what are you worrying about?" Cragen was genuinely concerned. It was unlike Olivia to have ruffled her composure easily. There had to be something wrong. He heard her sigh.

"I really can't tell. It makes me nervous that this trial depends almost entirely on Elliot. He wasn't the least bit nervous on Friday and maybe that's what makes _me_ nervous now."

"I don't think that it's so dependable on Elliot," Cragen told her in his usual authoritarian but calm voice. "Mack Taylor will testify, too. And forensic evidences are very much appreciated by jurors since the start of these CSI shows."

"Elliot's statement connects part of the evidence with the defendants."

"And what exactly are you worried about?" Cragen wanted to know.

"If I could tell that, I would feel better," Olivia sighed. "I just wanted to talk about it and not bother Elliot and his family."

"And I was your next choice?" Cragen slightly chuckled. "No, Olivia, honestly. You know you can talk to me whenever you feel you need it, okay."

"Yes, I know. And I very much appreciate it, Captain."

"Feel better?"

"Yes, I feel better now. Thanks."

They were exchanging some small talk before she finally hung up.

xxx

**Queens**

Minutes seemed to stretch to hours. Elliot glanced at the clock on the cupboard, it read ten past six p.m. Still tremors passed his body. Blood rushed in his ears and his pulse throbbed in his temples and the base of his neck.. Since they had brought Maureen upstairs he had not heard or seen anything of her. Since the scream early this morning he had not heard anything of Kathy and the other kids either.

When did he come down for breakfast? He could not remember but estimated eight to twenty past eight in the morning. They had been early for a Sunday because they wanted to go to the zoo.

_That makes almost ten hours!_ A chill ran over his back. _Ten hours! And they will stay until after my testimony. Perhaps longer_, another thought struck his mind._ What if they want to wait until the jury pronounces the decision?_

This gave him the creeps.

He could cope with the threats against himself, but the threats against his family almost killed him.

Even though he did not doubt the honesty of the men's threats he could not bring himself not to react at all when they mistreated him. His insides burnt with tension. Rage and hatred consumed him.

He fervently racked his brains to find a way to get rid of the intruders. But as much as he thought about it, he could not get any idea. He could put it either way he liked. With each scenario he ended up with injured or dead members of his family.

They had him, they had him good.

He could not risk anything. He had to play along with Barry and prepare the testimony. The next opportunity to contact someone might be at court. Maybe he could find one of his colleagues and confide in him.

The detective understood perfectly well that rope and gag were meant to humiliate and demoralize him. And he had to admit that it worked. With each breath he took the rope tightened and gave way again. He hurt, not only physically but also mentally.

Elliot felt someone tamper with the gag and one moment later it was carefully pulled out of his mouth. Glad to be freed from it he took a deep breath. Next to get loose were the part of the bondage that held his upper arms. Wrists and ankles remained bound.

Barry stepped in front of him, a glass with water in hands. He brought it up to Elliot's lips and let him drink.

"So… I guess your temper cooled down considerably. Am I right?" Barry sneered.

Though Elliot did not answer, his look was downcast. Right now to avoid Barry's sight seemed to be the only way to cope.

"Don't retreat again, Elliot," Barry scolded and laid one finger under the detective's chin to make him look up.

Even as Elliot's head lifted, his eyes did not meet the mirrored glasses. Barry chuckled.

"I need to use the bathroom," Elliot mumbled.

"I don't see a problem. You just have to ask."

Elliot swallowed. _Damn! Don't make me beg..._ But he knew that he had no choice, unless he wanted to pee in his living room. That would certainly annoy the intruders and he was not especially curious to find out what Barry still had in store.

Once more he swallowed before he finally tried to ask.

"Can I use the bathroom?"

"You forgot the magic word, Elliot."

_Oh no, not that!_ He had to suppress the urge to roll his eyes. "Can I please use the bathroom?"

"Of course you can. You will answer me some questions first." .

_If I can_, Elliot thought dismally but remained silent. He just lowered his view again.

"What's your name?"

_What kind of a game shall that be? Test questions like the ones you use for a lie detector?_

"Elliot Stabler," he answered tonelessly.

"Rank?"

"Detective First Grade."

Barry grinned viciously. "Who's in control?"

"You are," Elliot whispered barely audible.

"Did you say anything? I can't hear you, Elliot. And use complete sentences!"

"You are in control," he repeated a bit louder.

"And what is it you have to do?"

Elliot stared at the glasses. Not for the first time he tried to guess what he was supposed to say. He had a good idea now.

"I have to obey."

"Yeah." Barry sounded satisfied. "That's correct. You know all-too-well who'll pay for your disobedience, don't you?"

"My family will pay for… my..."

"C'mon. Go on."

"They will pay for… my disobedience."

Barry nodded. "Tell me what you'll do tomorrow."

"I'll testify at court."

Barry snorted. That was not wrong but obviously not what he wanted him to say.

"To raise reasonable doubt, so that the jury should find Mendoza not guilty," he added and hated himself for this answer.

"Tell me about your rights," Barry said.

Elliot swallowed. That was a sore spot. He knew the right answer but choked on the words. They were not willing to come out.

"Tell me about your rights," Barry repeated annoyed.

"I… I don't… have any rights," Elliot mumbled.

"You're absolutely right. And why don't you have rights?"

Now Elliot could not look at the man anymore. He slightly bowed his head. How should he repeat that? How should he answer that? Panic filled him.

"I… don't have… rights, b…be…cause you own me." His voice was so low that he hardly heard it himself.

"Louder, Elliot!" Barry scolded. "No one can hear you!"

Elliot stared at the floor and took a deep breath. His lips parted, but still no sound came out. He could not say it again, not aloud.

"C'mon, Elliot. Why don't you have rights?" Barry stepped in front of him and took hold of his chin to force him to look up. "Answer me!"

Once more Elliot swallowed. He suspected that Barry was just about to order someone to bring Maureen back. So he tried to speak again.

"Because you own me," he said and was astonished how clearly it could be heard this time. Once voiced it became more substantial. He did not feel like a cop anymore, not even like a father who tried to protect his children. Somehow he felt similar to what Barry had compared him with – a head of cattle.

Suddenly a face came to his mind. He remembered the shrink, Audrey Jackson, who almost cost him his job some time ago, because she made him confess that he dreamed about killing the perps he was pursuing. In one case she told the team that everyone could be brainwashed given the right circumstances and enough time. He did not remember the time frame she suggested. But he certainly felt as if he was on the verge of being reconditioned.

It scared the shit out of him.

xxx

Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot was at home, sitting at her desk. The tabletop was loaded with books, every single one filled with legal articles.

Still the sheet in front of her was white.

At least this piece of paper was white. The wastebasket next to the old fashioned wooden desk could hardly hold the heap of crumpled papers she already dismissed.

A sigh escaped her.

Why was it so difficult to write this specific final speech? She had almost finished it and then she decided to revoke it.

Alex looked at the page with the original draft. She had thought that the meeting with Olivia might distract her, but now she found that she still could not disentangle her thoughts.

Not even the preparation of Elliot's testimony could assure her that this trial would turn out after her own heart. She could not get rid of the thought that there would be something going wrong tomorrow. Perhaps she should talk with Elliot again.

She looked at her watch.

_What did Olivia say? They wanted to go to Bronx zoo and then make a barbecue? Maybe they are already back_.

So Alex flipped through her address-book for his cell phone number. When she had dialed she only reached the mailbox. Another call gained her his home number. She let it ring for a while because she guessed that they were on the terrace for barbecue. There was the answering machine. Alex left a short message and hung up.

_Damn! Okay, let me try again_.

She grabbed her pen and started to write another version of her speech.

* * *

A/N: Oooops. Once again we've reached the end of a chapter. Please don't forget to review (I could do with some inspirations...:-)... 


	13. Chapter 13

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. I'm still giggling due to the first one. My first reaction was to ask for a more detailed review but now I guess I can understand what you meant with "Grr…". Yes, it really expresses what you all might think about chapter 12. And even as it doesn't look like that right now - there will be some comfort… carrot and stick, you know. ;-)

**13**

When he only reached his partner's mailbox Fin was annoyed at first. He left a short message and waited. Yes, he had offended him. Nevertheless he counted on John calling back soon. But the phone remained silent.

Fin tried to relax with his dancer but was too distraught. She sensed it and literally threw him out of his own bed. So he tried to call again.

Nothing. Three rings, a beep… "Yeah, here's Fin. C'mon, partner. I'm sorry, okay. If you're taking this seriously I'll help you. Please call me back."

He went to take a shower and to dress. When he came into the kitchen the girl had prepared coffee and some sandwiches.

"You rummaged through my fridge?" he asked amused. "Were you allowed to do that?"

He leaned over her from behind and tickled her sides as retribution. Then he placed a kiss on her cheek.

"I am hungry. You don't have to eat if you don't like it."

"I didn't say I wouldn't like it." He sat down at the table, too, and they started the sandwiches.

"Did you reach John?" she asked.

Fin shook his head. "No, he didn't answer. I left two messages, but the stubborn son of a bitch surely wants to punish me by not answering."

"Try it again."

"I certainly will." He got his phone and dialed. "Fin again, call back you stupid nerd."

She smiled at his attitude. "You're sure he will reply to something like that?"

"If not to that… He can be such a moron."

They finished their meal and washed the dishes. Then Fin tried again.

"Still the mailbox," he spat. "John, I swear, when I can get hold of you, you'll regret this. Now call back, you idiot!"

"You won't get him to call by threatening him," the girl purred.

For a change the phone rang.

"Tutuola," Fin answered it.

"_Here's John."_

Fin smirked at his friend. "It's John," he whispered. "Hey, you moron. Good for you that you called. I would have tracked you down and burst into your hideaway with a SWAT team."

"_I'm sure you would."_

"So, can we talk now? Tell me again, I was distraught a while ago."

"_You could have told me that you're not alone. You can be an asshole, too."_

"Yes, I can. Now that we settled this, can you tell me what you wanted to do considering the news about the Mendozas?"

"_I was at JFK and LaGuardia but could not find a hint that they might have arrived there. I wanted to stop in at Elliot on my way back to Manhattan. Then we could meet at our Starbucks in about… one hour?"_

"To do what following?"

"_Just to find a trace of them. I do have this gnawing feeling that we want to beat them to whatever they are planning to do."_

"What did your conspiracy pal tell you?"

"_That the Mendozas have a lot of friends in Columbia as well as here and that they might turn New York into Medellin when they try to free their next of kin."_

"You're talking about them ambushing Pablo's transfer to prison?"

"_Something like that, yeah."_

Fin did not want to begin to imagine what that might stand for. It would most likely contain machine guns and a lot of panicking people.

"I'll meet you at our Starbucks."

"_Thanks, Fin."_

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbled. "Let's end this call before I change my mind and go back to bed."

He heard John chuckle, then he hung up.

"Sorry, darling. I'll drop you at your home on my way."

xxx

**Queens**

"You're quite popular today," Barry laughed when Alex left her message. "Want to call her back?" He cocked his head. "Would not be the best idea, I guess."

Silently Elliot agreed. He doubted that he would be able to talk with the ADA right now. That reminded him of the fact that he did not know how he should face her the next morning at court. _Well, I can cross that bridge when I come to it. First I have to survive until tomorrow morning…_

Yes, they wanted him to testify. They did not want to kill him, at least not beforehand. But one of their punishments already could have proven fatal. And there was no way to predict what might happen overnight.

_Overnight!_

That gave him the creeps. What would they do by night? He did not want to think about that.

He did not want to think about anything. He wanted these guys to vanish and never come back.

But this was the first true opportunity to think at all. His initial shock had subsided, yet, the shock of witnessing Maureen being threatened by this intruder still let him quiver. They did not want to risk his ability to testify, but did not hesitate to punish him brutally when he tried to resist. They were cautious not to leave visible marks of their interference.

Yes, they had threatened him to hurt Kathy or even the kids, but he actually understood only now that they would really do it, when Barry grabbed Maureen to open her blouse… and possibly do more harm. Finally the realization sank in that these men would virtually do everything to subdue him.

And as much as he hated the idea… he was ready to give in.

While he was thinking about this, Barry watched him from his perch in the armchair. He noticed even the smallest signs of capitulation, the downcast eyes, the bowed head, even the slightly parted lips. His muscles did not tense against the rope anymore. He stood there, motionless, his stare fixed on the carpet.

"I'd really like to know what's on your mind," Barry said. He got up and approached his captive. There was one thing he needed to know. "Look at me, Elliot."

Not hesitantly, yet slowly, he followed the order and raised his head. He did not like what he saw in the mirrored glasses. So he cast his eyes down again. He just could not stand the sight of the defeated man who was himself.

Barry on the other hand grinned triumphantly when he looked into the now dark blue eyes and could not discover any sparkle there. Misery had extinguished the fire.

"I've seen a lot of minced meet in the kitchen," Barry abruptly stated.

"Yeah," Elliot agreed. "For the barbecue."

"Barbecue? Do you expect guests?"

Barely visible Elliot shook his head. "No."

For a moment Barry thought about that.

"It could be used for Bolognese. Could you prepare that, Elliot? Or is this a Kathy question?"

"I could," Elliot answered. "If you'd untie my hands."

"Well, providing this."

"Noodles and tomatoes are in the cellar."

Barry just tilted his head and one of the others left to get the requested ingredients.

Elliot grimaced. He did not like the idea of someone rummaging through their stuff. Yet, he was careful to voice something like that. They certainly would not like that.

Barry stepped behind him and untied the tether. When the rope went loose, Elliot's arms dangled at his sides, still numb and stiff due to the brutal elbow bondage.

"Okay, Elliot. Keep going."

With one eyebrow raised he just stared at Barry over his shoulder.

"If you think I forgot something, you're in the wrong. This rope remains in place. C'mon, Elliot. Let's go to the kitchen."

He lightly pushed him forward. Elliot managed one step, the second would have been too long and was intercepted by the tether. The detective stumbled.

"Hola, Elliot," Barry shouted and grabbed his arm to catch him. "Be cautious!"

Elliot gathered all his strength left not to cry out in agony. No physical pain, though. His soul ached. It plainly felt like real physical pain and made him sick and dizzy.

Still holding his arm, Barry guided him towards the kitchen.

"I really have to use the bathroom," Elliot said lowly. "Can I… please."

"Yeah," Barry agreed and let go.

He waited until he was back and then watched and smiled to himself under the mask as Elliot walked on towards one cupboard to get out a large pan. Doing this the detective passed the large block with the big cooking knives, but did not even waste a look at it.

From the fridge Elliot got the meat. Then he sat the pan on the stove. Thumps let him look up when someone put cans with tomatoes and the noodles on the counter. When the man left, he concentrated on the roasting again. Slowly the meat changed its color from red to light brown. Elliot reduced the heat and went to open the cans. He put the tomatoes into the pan along with herbs, oil and tomato pulp. Now it had to stew.

Getting a large pot out of the cupboard he stepped to the sink to fill it with water. Watching the running liquid, he suddenly became dizzy again. His breaths caught in his chest and he choked silently. Tears welled up and he desperately tried to fight them back. He did not want to expose himself to Barry who still stood, leaning against the doorframe, watching him.

Elliot put both his hands on the rim of the sink to try and steady himself. As he looked down his gaze fell on the rope between his legs and hard tremors passed his body.

"Don't try to hide it," Barry jeered. "I know you're scared. Don't bother to show your tears."

_I will be damned if I'll cry in front of you again_, Elliot thought.

"You really should let it out," Barry tried to encourage him. "Or it'll give you a heart attack."

_You're giving me the heart attack. You and your guys leave now and everything will be fine_.

"C'mon, Elliot, get this finished." Barry chuckled. "My men are hungry. When they're full you can prepare something for you and your folks, too."

That was when the doorbell rang.

* * *

A/N: I don't know why, but my chapters seem to have the habit of ending with something like this. Does it work? Do you feel the tension? I feel tension of anticipation for your opinion. So please don't let me starve here, okay…;-) 


	14. Chapter 14

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Oooops, I seem to have lost a reader. I hope I did not offend, scare or bore someone… If so it was not on purpose.

_Sorry_, that I could not update within 24 hours ;-), but I need at least _some_ time to write and to translate your suggestions into parts of the story…:)

**14**

**Queens**

Elliot went rigid. His eyes widened.

"Didn't you tell me that you're not expecting guests?" Barry demanded to know.

"We're not. Maybe it's Terry again," Elliot suggested, feeling panic creep into his heart.

One of the others put his head through the door.

"A man, tall, slender, black graying hair, glasses…"

_John!_ Elliot was electrified. _What does _he_ want? _He felt how he was starting to quiver. So he did not resist when Barry pushed him towards the hall and the front door.

"A colleague?" the leader asked. "The guy who called earlier?"

Elliot shrugged, not trusting his voice.

"Elliot?" the man at the door shouted.

"Get him inside," Barry told the detective and sent one guy upstairs. Then he shoved Elliot forwards.

Elliot's shoulders slumped in defeat. Suddenly he calmed down. He did not even tremble when he reached for the handle. The door swung open.

"Hi, Elliot!" John greeted. "I saw your car when I passed by and figured you're back again." His gaze fell on the light bruise on his co-worker's neck. "What happened to you?"

Elliot had no chance at all. Once more he felt the barrel of a gun in his back.

"Come in, John," he said, hating himself for his betrayal. "I'll tell you, but not on the threshold."

So John passed him inside, curious but not alarmed at all. That changed rapidly when he heard the door slam shut and pivoted, only to see a black masked man at Elliot's side whose gun was trained on his gut.

xxx

Olivia had turned on the TV again. After her call with Don Cragen she felt better. After all she could enjoy the rest of the "_Runaway Bride_".

_I'm so stupid, _she scolded herself_. What the hell should happen! Alex is right: Mac and Elliot will nail them and she puts on a T with her final speech. When the jury is not buying that, nothing will convince them._

She settled back on her sofa, her glass with red wine in hand and, smiling to herself, followed the escapades of Julia and Richard on the screen.

xxx

John cursed inwardly. He had had crude ideas of what might happen tomorrow or shortly after the trial, what the Mendoza siblings might plan for to free their brother. He did not expect them to do… whatever they did here in Elliot's house.

"Hi," Barry sneered. "So you are John."

John did not answer. He looked right at Elliot who stared at the floor, unable to meet his colleague's gaze.

"Frisk him," Barry ordered his men.

When they closed in on him John felt them push his arms up and he put his hands behind his head. As long as he did not know what might happen here he would not fight. So they patted his body and took his gun and backup weapon.

_He looks defeated_, John thought as he eyed his friend closely. _What have they done to him except to throttle him? When did this happen? What do they want with him?_

He would not ask. Certainly he would get to know one way or another.

The man who held Elliot in check - no, actually he did nothing like that, Elliot was just standing there - approached him. From one of his men he took the detective's cuffs. Nonchalantly he held them out, dangling from his index finger.

"Elliot? Would you be so kind to take your friend down in the cellar? And make sure he's staying there," he added.

When Elliot slowly started to move towards them, John noticed him stagger and discovered the rope that tied his ankles over feet without shoes.

_What's going on here?_ He felt shivers run down his back. Now he was genuinely concerned, if not scared.

Elliot did hardly look up when he took the cuffs from the masked man and all the more he did not look at John when he turned to the stairs leading down and opened the door.

John swallowed. After all he did not feel so good. He thought of attacking the two men who were with them in the hall but thought better of it given the state Elliot was in. Thinking it over he had to admit that it would take more than these two to reduce his fellow detective to such an obedient servant. So he turned and descended the flight of steps, Elliot behind him.

Well, Elliot moved more slowly than John. He had to be cautious due to the bondage. It was hardly long enough to let him take one step downwards. So he sat down his right, stepped beside it with the left and took the next step with the right again.

John was already downstairs and turned to watch his friend. It hurt him to see him struggle. At the same time he felt rage rise. What should he do?

"Elliot?" he asked tentatively. "Where are Ka…?"

He could not complete his question. Elliot's look shot up and his blue eyes pierced him. The torment was clearly visible and John understood another part of the situation.

"Upstairs," Elliot croaked.

It gave John the creeps. Never, never ever, he would have thought that it might be possible to turn Elliot into a victim like that. He knew that it could happen to everyone and it would be unrealistic to exclude officers just because of their training. What hurt him was the plain despair in Elliot's eyes.

"How many attackers?" John asked.

Elliot shrugged. "I've only seen five, but there must be more."

John could hardly hear him. "When did they come?"

With a gesture Elliot motioned John into another room. "Around eight this morning," he said, following him.

_One whole day!_ At this realization John's stomach dropped. _Armed men, threatening him and his family, hurting him!_ His gaze fell on a small window. A way out.

"How can I help you?" he asked him and met an incredulous stare.

"You can follow their orders," Elliot answered and held the cuffs out to him.

John was dumbfounded. Bewildered he stared at the metal eights.

"The post, cuff yourself," Elliot ordered toneless.

"I could try and escape through this window," John suggested. "They wouldn't notice me. If I can reach…"

Elliot's look became threatening.

"You can get your head smashed into the wall," he said. "They would notice that you're not here anymore. Do you think they're dumb?"

Suddenly John realized that he was in big trouble. Elliot was determined to not let him get away and that might include that he would attack when it might be the only way to prevent him from escaping. When John saw the masked man enter the room from behind Elliot he knew that he was in for a very uncomfortable night.

"I already suspected that you would cause him problems," Barry said. "C'mon, John, back against the post, arms behind it."

And John did as he was told. Taking the cuffs from Elliot, Barry stepped behind him. With distinct clicks the halves snapped closed around John's wrists.

"Are you surprised?" Barry wanted to know. "I guess it will be in your own interest not to do anything that would draw attention to this house. I'm convinced that Elliot here would kill you if you give us reason to rape his daughter."

John gasped. He did not question the seriousness of Barry's threat, Elliot's behavior testified to that.

"The others are eating right now, so we have time for a little chat." Barry sat down on a box. "Sit down with me, Elliot?"

The detective did not move. He was just about to bury his hands in the pockets of his jeans, when Barry cleared his throat and shook his head. So he crossed his arms over his chest instead.

John watched with amazement. He did understand that Elliot should not hide his hands, another mean to control him. It was the ease with which Barry achieved the detective's obedience. John suspected that there was more than the threats against his family, even as this might have been sufficient.

"So, what were you doing here, John?" Barry demanded to know.

"Wanted to ask Elliot if he would accompany me to have a beer, play a bit pool…"

"That's why you called earlier?"

"Yeah." _Actually I wanted to talk with him about possible danger by Mendoza's siblings_, he added just in mind. _I guess that's done now_. "I was bored."

Barry chuckled. "Do you have enough excitement now?"

"I can't complain," John replied dryly.

"Your friend tries to be funny," Barry giggled. "Poor guy. All alone on a Sunday. You're not married?"

"Not currently," John growled. "Always looking for the future ex Mrs. Munch."

That made Barry laugh. "Hey, he _can_ be funny if he tries hard enough." He looked at Elliot. "Don't you think, he's funny?"

Elliot remained silent. He did not want to offer more ammunition than necessary.

"Answer me when I ask a direct question," Barry spat.

"It's a matter of perspective," Elliot mumbled.

Barry giggled. "So we have two jokers here. And now you tell me why you're really here, John."

"If you don't believe me that I was bored and was speculating to be invited for dinner, than that's not my problem."

"Are you so close that you could expect such a gesture?"

"Not unusual between us."

"Well, the barbecue is cancelled today," Barry sneered. "We changed it to Bolognese."

Speaking of dinner, one of his accomplices came down.

"Okay, dinner is served. When I'm finished it will be your turn, Elliot." And he went upstairs, leaving the two detectives to the other man, a giant of at least six feet four, maybe taller.

John looked at Elliot as if he wanted to convince him to attack, but Elliot turned and did not react at all. The giant chuckled. He went to Elliot and grabbed his shoulder, shoving him around, so that he faced him.

This guy did not wear mirrored glasses like Barry. His were shimmering in an almost black blue. Elliot stared at them with a blank expression. So they stood for a few long minutes, until the man decided to speak.

"Kneel down," he ordered.

John expected Elliot to obey as he did before, but nothing happened.

Obviously the man was at a loss of options.

He had his orders, too, and to talk with the detective did not belong to them. Now he got himself in trouble because he actually was not allowed to challenge their captive.

Elliot sensed that and chose not to react. So they stood, staring at each other, neither saying a single word. They still had not moved when Barry came back. It took split seconds for him to realize that they were in a duel. And that this was an important moment. He could not risk to lose control over the detective.

"Did he try something?" he asked his accomplice who shook his head. Barry turned to Elliot.

"You must have done something. What has happened?"

No one answered him, still staring at each other. Barry could not reprimand his man without to undermine his own authority so he did the only possible: He identified Elliot as the source of trouble. Stepping directly into his personal space he whispered in his ear.

"I guess I have to explain that again: _I_ am the one you have to follow, and when I'm not present, you do whatever my men tell you to do. Clear?"

Still not releasing the visual contact, Elliot remained silent.

"I asked if I made myself clear." This time the threat was unmistakable.

"Crystal," Elliot murmured.

So Barry looked at his man, nodding. Now they had to put it into action.

"Go down on your knees," the man hissed.

Elliot clenched his teeth, but did as he was told. The defiant look he pierced the man with, made the other realize that it was not his own authority which made him obey. Just when Elliot's left knee hit the ground, Barry took hold of his arm and pulled him up again. With a tilt of the head the henchman was dismissed and left. Barry was not finished.

"Do you have adhesive tape?"

"Should be in there," Elliot nodded towards the workbench.

"Then try find it."

Elliot went to the bench, opened the drawers in search for the requested item and returned with a big roll of tape. Barry nodded his approval and pointed at John.

"I guess you want to make sure that he won't draw any attention on the house," Barry sneered.

So the detective had no choice but to tear off a piece of tape and to do as suggested. When he approached his colleague, John saw the pain in his eyes. With his blue depths Elliot pleaded for understanding as he firmly pressed the tape over John's mouth. The older detective returned the slightest of nods and Elliot cast his eyes down. Then he returned to Barry.

Together they went back upstairs.

Cuffed and gagged John stood in the cellar of his colleague's house and tried to process what had happened. He realized that he could be lucky just to be bound to the post. They might as well have cut his throat. He was of no use for them, just a burden and unwelcome witness.

He had to find a way out or he would sooner or later end up dead anyway. He could not count on Elliot's help but had to do it on his own.

He just did not see a way out.

xxx

Olivia jumped when her phone rang. Now that she could relax she had not expected or anticipated any call. She pressed the mute button on the remote control and grabbed for the phone.

"Benson."

"_Hey, Olivia, here's Fin."_

"Hey, Fin. What's up?"

"_I wanted to meet with John, but he didn't show up. Have you heard anything of him?"_

"Sorry, Fin, I haven't."

"_He wanted to stop in at Elliot, but I can't reach him either."_

"They wanted to go to the zoo today," Olivia explained. "They'll be still on their way. Did you try his cell?"

"_No. Had no cause."_

"Maybe you'll reach him now."

"_Then I'll try again. Thanks, Olivia."_

"Call me when you know more, okay."

"_I will. Bye."_

"Bye, Fin."

Olivia was fed up with TV and turned it off. She strolled over to the shelf to look for a book. When she finally picked one, she snuggled up to the sofa again and soon was lost in the story.

tbc…

* * *

A/N: It can't get worse? Let's see… (any input?). Please review. 


	15. Chapter 15

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Hello, back again. This time I owe an idea to the reviews. At first I was giggling but then I realized that it only depends on the situation... The reader concerned will certainly recognize the part. Have fun! And please (on my knees, wringing my hands…) don't forget to review, I'm starving. ;-)

**15**

**Queens**

Barry and Elliot just stepped from the stairs into the hall when the phone rang once more. Elliot was stopped by a hand on his shoulder. The answering machine started.

"_Hey, Elliot? Here's Fin again. I'm looking for John. Can you call me back, please."_

_He sounds worried_, Elliot thought. _If they wanted to meet?_

"I should call him back," he mused.

"You won't call anybody."

"So you rather want him standing on my threshold, too?"

This question met silence. Barry had to think this over. No, he definitely did not want one more detective run into their little party. He had to make a decision.

"Okay," he said. "Call him." He shoved Elliot around to face him. "Don't act stupid. Think of your girls. Think of Maureen." As if to try a taste he let his tongue run over his lips, visible even through the mask.

Elliot swallowed. _You really must think that I'm an idiot. _He picked up the receiver and dialed. Barry activated the boxes.

"_Tutuola."_

"Fin, it's Elliot. You called…?"

"_Yeah, just a minute ago."_

"I didn't hear it at once and couldn't reach the phone in time. We're just back from a trip and in the garden for barbecue, so I didn't notice the ring. What can I do for you?"

"_John wanted to meet me, but didn't show up so far. He wanted to stop by at your place. Have you seen him?"_

Barry raised one hand to warn him, but Elliot did not hesitate for an instant.

"Yes. We ran into him just when we came back. He said that he was in a hurry."

Barry jumped. It looked as if he wanted to snatch the phone away from him.

"_Well, when was it?"_

"I don't know… about half a hour…"

"_Then he should be here soon." _Fin paused._ "Has he told you about the Mendozas?"_

Elliot looked up at Barry. Through the black mask nothing was to read.

"Not very much. Sounded weird." _What else to say? It's the most probable answer,_ he thought. _His ideas often are weird_.

"_Was one of his conspiracy friends he got the tip from. It also sounded weird to me. Well, you know John."_

"Yeah, long enough. Maybe there's a jam on the bridge which is delaying him. Certainly he'll be with you soon."

"_Let's hope so… for his sake. See ya tomorrow?"_

"Yes, at court. See you, Fin."

And they finished the call.

Elliot looked up at Barry and waited. The man remained silent, he did not move. Elliot became nervous. He could not judge if he made him angry. _Say something. C'mon._ Any reaction would be better than this silence. His insides constricted with uncertainty. It seemed to take forever until Barry spoke.

"Kitchen."

Elliot started to move, but then he stopped dead. "Someone should take away his car."

"What did you say?" Barry asked astonished.

"John's car. You should remove it from in front of our house."

If it had not been for the mask, Elliot could have seen bafflement change to enjoyment. Barry smirked.

"Good idea, Elliot. Thank you."

He gestured one of his men who got the key from Barry and started for the door where he waited.

"Something else?" Barry asked when Elliot did not move.

"I guess I should call Alex back." No reaction. "She could get suspicious when I don't answer her message. After all she's a district attorney."

"Okay, you'll call her. Let him leave first," Barry insisted.

So Elliot took the phone and went into the kitchen. Certainly the man would take off his mask now not to raise suspicions when he left the house to get the car.

"I really appreciate your suggestions," Barry said to Elliot as they sat down at the kitchen table. "You're becoming really helpful."

_You're not welcome and I certainly don't do that for you, you sick bastard. I guess you're enjoying yourself splendidly._

xxx

Alex reached for her phone automatically.

_Who disturbs, _she thought_. Now that I finally could manage to write something for my speech…_

"Cabot."

"_Stabler."_

"Elliot, why…? Oh, yes, I left a message."

"_You don't remember you called earlier?"_

"Yes, I do remember. I'm just distraught. I'm writing my speech for tomorrow and got stuck and so I'm frustrated…"

"_And you start babbling."_

"I am? Sorry, Elliot. How was your day at the zoo?"

He hesitated for a second_. "Great. We all enjoyed it. - Hm, Alex. Did you call my cell, too?"_

"I guess so. Why?"

Now he sounded embarrassed. _"I'm feeling foolish, but I… well, I must have lost it. I still had it on my belt when we arrived at the zoo and when I got my purse out later I noticed that it was gone."_

"Well, that can happen to everyone. No need to feel foolish."

"_I should have called someone from a public phone when I noticed that it was gone, but then I thought it's Sunday and I could tell tomorrow before I get a new one. What did you want to ask me?"_

"To ask you?"

"_Well, you were the one who called first, forgotten?"_

"Nothing special. I just wanted to know if everything's alright. I'm a bit nervous, that's all."

"_No need to be worried about the case. We'll nail them."_

She could almost hear his hilarious grin, that she loved so much, through the phone, and had to smile herself.

"Yes, we'll nail them."

"_Show a bit enthusiasm."_

"I will. Is there anything I can do for you, Elliot?"

_You could call the police and a SWAT team for me… "Hmm… no, nothing. So long, Alex."_

"See you tomorrow."

She put down the receiver and looked at her writing, twirling the pen between her fingers. Suddenly an idea hit and she scribbled it down hastily.

Alex was so absorbed in her work that she had not noticed the slight note of sadness in his voice. Even if she would have been worried about him not answering his cell before, any kind of suspicion was gone after this call.

xxx

Fin became quite annoyed, and restless, as he waited another two cups of coffee. Once more he tried John's cell phone but got no answer. So he called Olivia again.

"_Benson."_

"Fin again. John didn't show up. I'm getting worried."

"_Have you reached Elliot?"_

"Yeah. He told me that they met John and that he left, now approximately one hour ago. He wanted to come straight to our Starbucks, so where is he?"

"_His own phone?"_

"Turned off. I only reach the mailbox."

"_Then let us check the traffic. Maybe there's a jam on the bridge."_

"That's what Elliot said, too. But on a Sunday?"

"_Hey, we're in New York. Lot of traffic, no matter when. Will you call dispatch? I'll meet you at the Starbucks, okay."_

"I'm waiting for you."

xxx

"You're quite an actor," Barry sneered. "I guess she believed you."

_I'm afraid she did, _Elliot thought.

"Well, you must be a good actor, right. In your job? Weren't you one of the guys who scouted the whorehouse ahead of the raid? As I was told it had been a tall man with dark hair and incredible blue eyes."

Elliot could hear the amusement and sarcasm in these words. It made the skin of his head crawl and from there it ran down his spine. To have to submit to these people was bad enough. To have to bear that they jeered at him because he did made everything worse.

"It's getting late," Barry said. "You should get the pasta finished. Your folks still are hungry and you should eat something, too."

_Eat?!_ This thought frightened him. He did not feel as if he could keep something down. Most likely food would retreat again as soon as it was in. So why should he bother to eat?

"Then I'll get up and see to it?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

Elliot stood up and went to the stove. There was still enough sauce but he had to cook more noodles. He put the pot with the tomato sauce back on the hotplate and took the other over to the sink to fill it with water.

"You know, Elliot," Barry said casually. "We're grateful that you're prepared to do that for Pablo. He's had so much bad luck lately. We're sure that everything will turn out to his favor now." He saw Elliot stiffen up and grinned under the mask. "You know that everything good you're doing will be returned to you? I believe that it also works the other way round."

Elliot's breath seized in his throat and his vision blurred. His blood was boiling and he had to grab the sink not to lose his equilibrium. That the water already ran over he did not notice. When Barry touched his back he jumped and spun around so quickly that he almost hit him.

"Take care what you're doing, Elliot!"

"I don't know what you want," he growled. "I mean, I'm going to do what you want. Why don't you leave it at that?"

"I want you to follow my orders." Barry stepped closer and into Elliot's personal space.

"I do. But your quarrel is with me, not my family. Leave them alone!"

Barry grabbed for his chin but Elliot stepped back and wound himself out of his reach. That was all Barry needed to lose his temper. Fast as a viper he followed and slapped him hard across the face. Elliot stumbled. When he searched for support he tipped the pot with sauce over. It fell and splashed its content over the tiles. Trying to remain on his feet Elliot struggled against the bondage and lost. Backwards he crashed against the kitchen counter.

"Do you remember what I told you this morning?" Barry pressed. "This is not a negotiation. You have to meet our demands or your loved ones will bear the consequences."

"I'll do what you want!" Elliot defended himself. _Not only myself, _he realized_. This is about Kathy and the kids as well. I may not screw this up._ "I'll go to court and tell them that I've never seen Mendoza before. You don't have to pester me."

Barry bent down to him and grabbed his chin painfully. Elliot squirmed in his grip.

"People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones," Barry spat. "You have to prove that we can trust you as well as we have proven that you can trust us to carry out our threats in case you don't submit. Everything I order you to do is a proof for this trust. Can you follow me?"

The grip on his jaw was so hard that Elliot could neither speak nor nod. He just could stare at Barry… and see himself in a scaring predicament. His breath was shallow and erratic.

"You know, Elliot, you'll have to leave this house to go to court, so trust is essential for our agreement. If we can't trust you, we can't let you go. And if we can't let you go that will mean that your colleagues will have to investigate in a sixfold homicide. Do you get this?"

Still, Elliot could not answer, but his frightful widening eyes clearly gave away what was on his mind. He heard Barry snigger. No, he could not risk that. If it would only have been his own life that was on stake he would have tried to resist, but he never would risk the lives of his kids.

Barry looked around the kitchen, then he released him.

"Clean up that mess," he ordered, stepping aside and throwing a roll of tissues at him. "Move!"

So Elliot got on his knees and ripped off several sheets to wipe the sauce. While he was working his mind raced without being able to catch single thoughts. He just knew that he was scared. He was scared to death. Mainly for his family's lives but also for his own… and Munch's.

When Barry stepped up to him again he dreaded more taunts and humiliations. He did not look up at him, though, but kept on working.

"This is really a mess you made," Barry spat. "Be thorough. If you don't do it thoroughly I'll get you a toothbrush."

For a few seconds Elliot paused, trying to take in and cope with what Barry had said. Then he continued with his task. Barry put his right foot directly under Elliot's nose.

"You also got my shoe dirty," he grumbled.

Elliot could not spot a single splash, but he did not feel like arguing right now. So he took fresh tissues and began to clean the already shining shoe. _You will pay for this_, he thought. _The first chance I'll get you'll pay for this_. His rage was burning hot, only surpassed by his fears. He almost had expected laughter and was glad that Barry remained silent._ The laugh is always on the loser. I am a loser. I am cleaning clean shoes and I crouch in front of this scum. I really am a loser._

Barry waited patiently. He enjoyed seeing Elliot on his knees, being also physically subdued. When he thought it was enough he simply went away. He got the pot, poured half of the water and put the pot on the stove.

Still, Elliot was cleaning the floor. Barry already thought about telling one of his men to get a toothbrush when another idea struck him. Following the impulse, he opened the fridge and picked the first thing he spotted, a spray can.

"Looks still dirty," he teased, shaking the can of cream. He popped off the lid. "Damn. There also is whipped cream among the tomatoes," Barry laughed at him. "That's so damn greasy." And with that he sprayed the whipped cream over the freshly cleaned floor.

Elliot bit his lower lip. He shivered with rage. Even though he knew what Barry expected him to do, he could not force himself to bite the bullet and keep cleaning. So he made the mistake to look up.

Instantly Barry grabbed the back of his neck and forced him to straighten up.

"Don't defy me, Elliot! You're in no position to sulk." He raised the can again and this time aimed at Elliot. When he pressed the dispenser the mass splashed into his face. Barry moved the spray in circles and not only Elliot's face but also hair and shoulders were colored white with whipped cream.

"You're a pig. Can't you keep clean? Wipe this and wash yourself!" Barry tightened his grip and pushed Elliot down. The detective was on hands and knees like a dog, his head bowed under the merciless clasp. "We have you on toast, Elliot. And we'll have you for dinner tomorrow if you screw up the hearing. We'll also invite Kathy and the kids to witness. Then they will follow you."

_That must be how it feels like being raped,_ Elliot thought. Tears shot into his eyes. He fumbled with the tissue in his hand, wiping blindly the floor. Firmly the hand on his neck held him down. Elliot desperately tried to keep his emotions in check and not to lose the small rest of himself when Barry tried and rip away the however small rest of pride and dignity he had left.

As if to underline the menace faint grumble announced a distant thunder storm.

* * *

A/N: And? Did you recognize it? Not exactly what you had in mind, hm? Please review, folks. Really, I mean it. REVIEW! Thanks if you do! Thanks! 


	16. Chapter 16

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: I'm sooo sorry for the long wait. I wrote myself into a dilemma. I hope I could get the knot out of the plot now and continue. I had planned to let Elliot come together with his family in this chapter but I have to shift that to the next chapter. This one is for _iluvstabler_.

**16**

**Manhattan**

When Olivia arrived at the Starbucks, she met a quite nervous Fin. Too much coffee and a still missing John left him edgy.

"No jam on the bridge or anywhere else on the way from Elliot's place over here," he said when she sat down at his table.

"Did you reach his cell phone?"

"No. It's turned off." Fin frowned. "But according to Elliot he has left more than one hour ago. Where should he vanish? Where _could_ he vanish?"

"We should try the hospitals."

"If he would be in hospital someone would have called, don't you think."

"Not necessarily. Let's try that."

"What about Cragen and Elliot?"

"Elliot has this important hearing tomorrow. I don't want to bother him if we don't have serious reasons to be bothered ourselves. And are you already prepared to call the captain?"

"As if I could forget this hearing. But we should call Cragen. Even if John should walk through the door a minute later, he would like to know." Fin snorted. "He would be pissed if he had not known."

xxx

**Queens**

It took Elliot some time to wipe the tomato sauce and whipped cream. He was painfully aware of Barry's presence and the closeness of the other intruders.

To be on his fours in front of them humiliated him deeply. On the other hand there was his family... and for his kids he would do worse than this. That was what he told himself over and over again, _they are worth to do worse_…

He thought of Munch in the cellar. No one had spoken about him again. He still was downstairs, Fin still waiting for him. When would he really miss him? Begin to search for him? When would Fin call the others, the captain, Olivia?

_Olivia!_

His partner had not called all day. She knew they wanted to go to the zoo. She would not miss him. And then he had spoken with Fin and Alex… When they recognized that Munch was missing they would call him for to join the search. He knew they would. But when would the phone finally ring?

While Elliot was working, Barry rummaged with the pots and dishes, but the detective refused to look up. Thoroughly he wiped the last splashes.

_Damned phone, ring! C'mon, ring!_

_They can't keep me here, when I'm ordered to go by my captain. That would raise suspicions. And when I'm out of here, I can go search for a way to alarm someone._

He was almost finished, but the phone remained silent.

Elliot recalled a conversation he once had with Olivia. _I sure as hell wouldn't drive to Queens to save your ass_, she had said back then and he contradicted her, _yeah, you would_. _Well, maybe_, she conceded, _but that's only because you have a wife and kids_.

Damn! How he wished she would be psychic! They were so close, so attuned to each other, that colleagues often said, they could read each other minds. But today? Today she did not prove this theory. She had no idea that he was in trouble. Trouble. What kind of understatement!

"Are you finished?" Barry snapped.

His shoes appeared in Elliot's field of vision.

"Almost," he replied and wiped over an already clean spot.

Like a vice Barry's hand closed around the back of his neck again, making him look up.

"Look at me, when you're talking with me," Barry snarled. "You finished?"

"Yeah."

"Good." He draped a towel over his shoulder. "Clean yourself and get dinner ready. I have some things to sort out downstairs."

With that he left to go down to John. Elliot got up and wiped over his head before he turned to the stove again.

xxx

"You really don't want to tell me, why you're here?" Barry asked.

"I already told you at least ten times," John sighed. "But you don't believe me."

"One last time: Did you want to meet someone?"

"No."

"And I know that you're lying," Barry spat at him. "Cause Elliot has spoken with your partner, Detective Fin Tutuola."

_He has?_ John was dumbfounded._ They let him call Fin? Or did Fin call in search for me? He must have called, because I told him that I wanted to stop by. Then they will search for me here soon._

Barry chuckled. "What are you thinking about? That your colleagues will search you here?" he laughed. "They certainly won't."

_Why not?!_

"You have to know that Elliot really is cooperative. And you should be as well, because you would just cause him more pain. You don't want to be responsible for that, do you?"

John did not answer. He preferred to remain silent, though he suspected that Barry would not grant him this right, every suspect enjoyed.

"I give you just this one last chance to tell me the truth."

Barry waited. As he looked into the detectives eyes he realized that this man did not get the point.

"I don't think that Elliot will be pleased to see that you're refusing your cooperation. We're really good friends by now. You know, when I'm telling him to do something, then he's doing it without any struggle. He doesn't even defend himself. You believe me that?"

Still he got no answer, so that he turned wordlessly and left the cellar.

John stared at the door, his mind racing. _What will he do now? Did I make a serious mistake? I don't want to endanger Kathy or the kids. Oh, no. Not the kids. Please. Not the kids!_

He stiffened up when he heard steps again. Seconds later Elliot was the first to round the corner and enter the storage room. Curiously John eyed his colleague, from the bare feet and the rope, that tied his ankles, over the jeans and shirt up to the downcast sapphires, that avoided to return his look. Barry closed in on him from behind on his right side.

Goosebumps settled on John's back and made the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck stand on end as he took in this sight.

"Our friend John does not understand his position," Barry explained. Nonchalantly he put his left arm around Elliot's shoulders. "I would appreciate it if you could help him."

Elliot went rigid under this touch but did not react otherwise. He dreaded to know where this conversation was heading and he did not like it one bit.

"You could tell him who's in control here."

_That's it, _he thought and swallowed. _Damn_. He opened his mouth but choked on the words. Gasping for breath he tried to force it out.

"You are in control," he mumbled. His mouth was dry. Elliot knew why Barry was doing this, but that did not lessen the humiliation he felt.

"Yeah. And what is your job here?"

Inwardly Elliot rolled his eyes in desperation. Not for the first time he told himself that he should be used to get orders. But the difference between Cragen and Barry was eminent and more than obvious. Cragen never would be able to shake him to the core, simply because the captain just could threaten with suspension or dismissal, while Barry threatened to hurt his family.

John saw Elliot clench and unclench his hands in a futile attempt to get his emotions under control and to find his voice again.

"I have to follow your orders," Elliot finally said.

"Yeah. You will, won't you." Barry gave an amused snort. "You see, John, Elliot is doing what I order him to do. And he's doing that because he has no doubts that I will keep my promises."

From a sheath behind his back he got a hunting knife. In the cold light of the bulb the blade shone menacingly. The rumble of distant thunder added to the spooky atmosphere.

"You, John, I promise here and now that Elliot will pay for your disobedience. So think carefully about your next answer."

Slowly he lowered the knife over Elliot's chest. Carefully he pushed it behind the uppermost button of his shirt. It easily came loose when Barry pressed a little and Elliot flinched. Barry continued to the next button. When he reached the last in the line, he pushed the shirt aside. Gently the tip of the blade pierced the skin right under the left collarbone.

Elliot's breath caught in his lungs and his blood started to rush. He knew that Barry would not kill him, but that probably was the only thing he would not do.

"So, John, what do you say? Why did you want to meet with your partner?"

"To play pool," John grumbled.

"Didn't you say earlier that you wanted to buy Elliot a drink? Maybe be invited for dinner?"

"Yeah, I did. If he would have come with me we would have met with Fin."

Elliot could sense that Barry was not convinced... and he remembered why. The blade cut in his flesh and slowly drew a line across his chest. He flinched back, but Barry tightened the grip around his shoulders and prevented him from escaping.

John gasped. An icy cold lump formed in his gut. He had not expected Barry to actually do what he had threatened with. John heard Elliot groan and saw him tense, his fists and teeth clenched, eyes firmly shut, fighting the pain. And he saw the blood seeping out of the wound… Elliot's blood. He had shed his colleague's blood! His _friend's_ blood!

"Let's try again, John," Barry purred and put the blade to Elliot's chest again. "Maybe with the truth for a change…?"

He just could stare at Elliot. While he tried to make eye contact, Elliot did his best to avoid it. John shivered. Obviously this guy knew about why he had come, and that scared him. John cleared his throat and addressed his friend.

"Elliot? Elliot." Nothing happened.

Barry let him have his way. He waited patiently, guessing quite good that John now felt guilty. He had betrayed his colleague, his friend.

"Elliot. Please look at me." John almost sounded desperate and Barry gloated over it.

Truth to be told this was how John actually felt. He knew Elliot was in pain. Suddenly he remembered what he had told him, that these men came in the morning. John had no idea what they had already done to him and now he had added more suffering! Now he realized the hell he was trapped in.

"Elliot. Please."

John's wrists hurt from the cuffs and his back from the post he was leaning against. But that was instantly forgotten when Elliot finally raised his view and his look locked with John's.

Pain was all that John could see in his blue eyes. The proud and intimidating cop was gone and a scared and hurting man had stepped in his place.

Yes, John's bonds hurt, but he hardly felt it anymore due to his aching heart.

_My pain is nothing compared with what Elliot must feel_, he thought. _Under normal circumstances he wouldn't have hesitated and attacked this perp without further ado... and won. He's not bound with rope or chains... I would go so far not even to count the rope holding his ankles. He simply submits to them. He's bound with fear, the sheer terror of anticipation of death... his children's death._

And he knew that he had no choice left.

"I was tipped off," John began hesitantly. "An informant called me and asked for a meeting where he told me about friends of Pablo Mendoza, who might want to try and help him escape. I stopped by here to ask Elliot's help. I wanted to ask him if he would start unofficial investigations with me. That's the same reason I wanted to meet my partner."

"So your partner is waiting for you now," Barry guessed.

"Yes, at the Starbucks we use to go."

"You will call him and buy us time," Barry said. Then he told him exactly which story he should tell.

tbc…

* * *

A/N: I'm so sorry for the "cookie monster". I hope she'll survive on her cookie diet. Please review. You might inspire me so that I can continue a bit faster again. Thanks:) 


	17. Chapter 17

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Sorry, folks, I really had problems to make it through the evening of this 48-Hour's-Sunday. I hope that I can manage the next chapter faster. Please enjoy reading. :)

**17**

**Manhattan**

Olivia and Fin went to their squad room to make several phone calls, checking hospitals and other precincts for any sign of John Munch. It was now that Olivia put the receiver down and looked over to Fin who occupied her partner's desk.

"Please don't tell me that we should check the morgues now," she sighed.

"Do you have another idea?" Fin replied. "His cell phone still is inactive and we have no other trace left."

"We should release a search for his car." Olivia rubbed over her forehead with her ball. "Then we should start to ask informants."

"Now you're the one who scares me," Fin said. He looked over her shoulder when he spotted captain Cragen.

"Captain."

"Hi, Olivia, Fin. What do we have?" the captain asked, pulling a chair over to sit down next to the conjoined desks.

"The point is that we _don't_ have a trace of John," Olivia answered him.

"So let me see if I can get this right," Cragen mused. "John called you, Fin, to ask your help in a search for, who was it, relatives of this Pablo Mendoza?"

Fin nodded.

"And you wanted to meet hours ago at the Starbucks, but he didn't show up."

"Yeah."

"That's unlike John," the captain mused.

"Yeah," Fin grumbled. "He stopped by at Elliot, but he did not want to tell him what he heard about Mendoza as long he could not confirm it… because of the trial. He has left after only a few minutes."

"And you know that…"

"…because Elliot told me so," Fin finished. His cell phone rang. One look at the display left him wide-eyed. "It's John."

Olivia and Cragen sat up as Fin snapped the phone open.

"If you don't have a damn good excuse I'm going to pull you through the phone to beat you to a pulp," Fin grumbled.

"_I know," John answered. "I'm sorry. I should have called earlier. But the guy who tipped me off about Mendoza contacted me again.__ He's quite paranoid, so he made me swear not to call someone until we've talked."_

Fin frowned deeply. What kind of crazy had John's friend to be if the paranoid detective called him quite paranoid?

"Where the hell are you?"

"_I'm still with him. He's… trying to find more information. Well…"_

"He's paranoid and you're calling…"

"…_from the bathroom," John interrupted him. "Just wanted to let you know that I'm okay. I'm sorry that I've __let you down, Fin. I'll... do your paperwork." He paused. "He's coming. See you, Fin."_

And the connection was gone.

"This stupid moron!" Fin scowled. "As soon as he's showing up tomorrow he's going to regret this."

"Stop it, Fin," Cragen grumbled. "What did he say?"

So Fin repeated what John had told him.

"Son of a bitch," Olivia whispered.

"I don't like it either," Cragen admitted. "But we know John. He's a bit strange when it comes to his conspiracy theories."

"I want to know more about this theory," Fin stated. "I'm going to try find a trace of the Mendozas."

"Feel free to do that. Otherwise we're going to see each other here tomorrow, after court."

"Right, sir," Fin agreed. "And you, Olivia? You're going home?"

"I'll help you. I have nothing else to do."

xxx

**Queens**

"Thanks, John," Barry sneered. "That wasn't too difficult, was it?"

John shook his head.

"Okay. We'll have to leave you now." Barry took the roll of tape and went over to John to gag him again.

John could not help but to watch Elliot. The moment Barry turned his back on him a small light flickered in his eyes and his lips slightly curled in disgust. John noticed that with amazement… and with fear the next change. Cause Elliot's expression changed rapidly to devotion when Barry started to turn to him again.

The intruder did not notice anything. "C'mon, Elliot, we have to serve dinner," he gestured him to go ahead.

Back in the kitchen Barry took one of the tissues, poured water over it and went to Elliot. He grabbed his shirt and started to clean his chest. Elliot sucked in air through his nose at the burning sensation. Barry did not allow himself to be confused and continued to wipe the blood away.

"You need a new shirt," he stated, gesturing one of his men with a tilt of his head.

Elliot endured the procedure silently. Barry pulled the shirt out of the jeans and slipped it off from Elliot's shoulders. From the other guy he got a new shirt and handed it over to Elliot who put it on.

"Get this finished," Barry ordered, indicating the pot on the stove and putting the cream-and-blood-soaked shirt into the garbage can.

So Elliot turned to the stove. The noodles were overcooked. He saw that at once. And the sauce had been spilled on the floor. Hearing Barry behind him, he turned and saw the man put six plates and a big bowl onto the table.

_Very funny_, Elliot thought. Barry sat a ketchup bottle next to the bowl, while Elliot poured off the pasta. Then he filled it into the bowl.

"Thanks, Elliot," Barry praised. "You're quite cooperative."

_Yeah? _Inwardly Elliot was boiling with rage. _And what do I get out of it?_

That was when he heard steps on the stairs. A lot of steps. Goosebumps settled on Elliot's back and arms. He glanced at Barry. His captor had turned to the window and stared outside.

"Daddy!" Dickie shrieked.

When Elliot spun round two whirlwinds called Elizabeth and Richard rushed into his body. They already clung to his waist when he also spotted Kathleen and Maureen. Next moment also the older girls had wrapped her arms around him, holding on to him like drowning men to a piece of wood.

Elliot choked. His throat was corded up instantly and tears shot into his eyes. They were freely rolling down his cheeks, unable to be stopped, while his arms closed around the girls automatically.

"Oh, Dad," Maureen sobbed. "I thought he'd killed you."

Elliot held her even tighter. "I'm here, honey," he whispered. "I'm okay."

Actually he was not _okay_, but no one had to know that, least of all his kids. Standing in this group hug he absently rubbed his daughter's backs.

"I love you, Dad," Kathleen sobbed into his chest.

What the twins were mumbling he could not understand, but he suspected it to be something similar. All four of them were trembling. White hot rage started to boil in Elliot again. Over the threats and humiliations Barry had put him through he had totally forgotten to imagine how his kids might feel. Suddenly he felt shame. _How could I forget about them? How could I ever…? _And he started to tremble, too.

"They didn't hurt us," Maureen whispered in his ear. "We're in Dickie's room, playing… we…we're okay, too." Her voice was thick with tears. She was scared to death and did not want to show it, just as little as her father. "I love you, Daddy," she sobbed. She was choked up with tears when she continued, "We trust you, Dad."

Elliot stiffened up. _That's my job_, he thought with strange amusement. _It's my job to assure my kids that everything's gonna be alright again, to encourage them._

"Why… why don't you sit down?" he asked. "You guys… must be hungry."

"We ate lunch," Lizzie mumbled into his chest, holding him tighter.

"Your dad is right," Barry said, without to turn away from the window. "You should sit down or it's getting cold."

Even encouraged by their father, they only let go of him reluctantly. They shuffled to the table and sat at their usual places. Elliot turned to the stove again. Grabbing the rim he tried to steady himself, cause he felt dizzy. Rumble of the nearing thunderstorm expressed his emotional turmoil perfectly.

A hand gently touched his right shoulder. It rested there, lightly, yet calming. Then Kathy also reached for his left shoulder to turn him to her. He gave in to her soft urging but refused to look at her. Warmth rose in his cheeks as he blushed. Just as gently as she held his shoulder Kathy reached for his chin.

Their relationship had not been the best in the past months. Too much work and, as she suspected, a change in his partnership with Olivia had burdened it. _But this can not change anything of our profound feelings for each other_, she realized now. She had grown up with him, knew him for her whole life. And she could perceive all his torment with just one look into his stunning blue eyes.

Her hand wandered from his shoulder to the back of his neck. It brushed over his short hair. Kathy was startled when she felt his reluctance. She glanced at the man by the window. Still he turned his back on them. One glance over her own shoulder showed her that the other men were not watching either. So she tightened her grip on his neck and felt him stiffen up now. Gently she pulled him closer until he sank into her embrace, his face buried in the crook of her neck.

Still Kathy could sense his tension._ I won't be able to calm him down completely, _she mused_. So I have to try the best I can as long as they will let me_.

"Shhh…" she soothed. "We're okay, honey. I take good care of us. We love you, El. I," she emphasized, "love you."

He sucked in a breath. After the subliminal fights over the last weeks and months, her words let him shiver.

"I love you, El. Our kids love you. _We_ love you." Kathy fought, not to start to cry. Even as she was scared herself, she felt his need for reassurance and answered it. "You did not betray us, in case that this might ramble through your mind. And whatever they force you to do, we will never think less of you. We will never think less of you because of your tears, or because you meet their demands." She took a deep breath when she sensed his withdrawal and tightened her grip on him. "It never was your fault that they came. We trust you, Elliot. We trust you to get us out of this. Nothing can shake my love for you. Keep this on your mind, okay. I love you."

Elliot shivered even more as he heard her confession. Each time he had stayed at the station longer than necessary or had fallen asleep on the sofa, because he had resorted to the excuse to have to watch something interesting instead of going to bed with her, he had wondered how he had lost her, desperate, and scared that he might wake up one morning to find the house deserted. But still unable to find a way, to find his courage, to talk with her.

"I love you, Kathy," he whispered back. "I love you so much."

_Let's seal this_, she thought. Softly pushing him back with one hand, the other firmly locked on his neck, she searched his look. Still he was trembling.

As their eyes met, his heart threatened to stop. What he saw in his wife's eyes let him shiver harder than any threat. Her love.

Though he resisted at first, her hand behind his head urged him forward. When their lips touched lightning flashed through his body as well as lightning unleashed the rain outside. It pattered against the windows while the wind howled, releasing the contained forces of the elements.

"Hey, kids, why don't you eat?" Barry's voice threw them out of their intimacy. Elliot literally backed away from her.

_Wow!_ Kathy thought. _How did you do that? How do you scare El so much?_

"Let's sit down," she murmured and released her last grip on him.

When they both were seated at the ends of the table, they exchanged an intense look. Finally Kathy spoke a short prayer and reached for the bowl.

"Where's Munch?" Kathleen suddenly could not hold back her curiosity anymore.

Elliot choked on his pasta. He searched Kathy's look for support.

"We saw him come up the driveway, but he didn't leave," his daughter said. "Where is he?"

"Downstairs," Elliot answered honestly. "He's not hurt."

"Did they lock him up?" Dickie wanted to know.

_Why do you have to ask such questions?_ Elliot thought. "Yes, in the storage room."

Lizzie picked at her noodles. "These are lukewarm," she complained.

Kathy glanced at Barry, grabbed the plate and got up to put it into the microwave. When she sat it in front of Lizzie a few moments later the food was steaming.

"Now it's too hot," she whined.

"Then you'll wait a moment," Elliot snapped. In the same instant he regretted it. He saw the tears shoot into his daughter's eyes. His heart ached and he clapped one hand over his mouth.

Kathy noticed his shocked expression Lizzie was oblivious to. She knew that it was pretty hard for him to keep his head at all.

"Sorry," he panted. "I didn't mean it. Just… wait a moment. Okay, honey?"

Maureen wrapped one arm around her sister's shoulder. "It's okay, sweetie," she said. "Dad's not angry. C'mon. Have some cold ketchup and it will work. Okay?"

Elliot glanced at his eldest. When their eyes met he hoped that he could transport the pride he felt for her in this look. A fleeting smile passed over Maureen's face and she nodded.

They continued to eat in silence. Dickie refused to take ketchup and ate his noodles dry. When they were almost finished Kathy looked at Barry intently, putting her fork aside and straightening up, ready to get up again.

"Okay," she said as her eyes bore into the mirrored glasses. "Who wants ice cream?"

The kids exchanged glances, two cautiously nodded, one mumbled yeah. Elliot just eyed Kathy skeptically. She stood and went for the fridge to get the ice cream.

"Would you get us bowls and spoons, Kat?" she asked when she sat the pack down on the table. Then she collected the plates and forks to put them in the dishwasher.

Kathleen returned with the dishes and held out her bowl for her mother to fill it with ice cream. Kathy smiled at her and let one hand run over her daughter's hair before she met the request. She was generous, handing out big portions.

They all remained silent while they ate the ice cream. No one felt like chatting. Once they were finished with the dessert, too, Maureen volunteered to clear the table. She was just about to sit down again, when Barry stopped her.

"Don't bother, honey. It's time to go. Your dad still has some work to do."

Elliot cast his eyes down for a moment, took a deep breath… When he raised his head again, Maureen smiled at him a tiny smile. It warmed his heart anyway. She quickly rubbed his upper arm encouragingly. Then she circled the table to take the hands of her youngest siblings.

"Come with me. We're going upstairs again. It's late. We'll soon prepare for the night, hm. C'mon." One on each side she led them out and up to their rooms.

Pride filled Elliot. He knew that his eldest slowly changed into a young woman, but he had not known that she already proved such maturity. Maybe it was their predicament that triggered her reactions. Special qualities often manifested in extreme situations.

Before he could so much as think about getting up himself he felt hands on his shoulders.

"You're going to stay," Barry whispered in his ear. "Feel better now?"

Elliot was not sure how to answer this question. He felt better as long as they were together. Now all he felt was emptiness. Painfully his heart thumped in his chest. His muscles ached due to the stress.

"Yes and no," he said.

Barry chuckled. "I'll go with them for a few minutes, just to clear up some things. You're going to wait right here. Don't get up. You got this?"

"Yeah."

"I mean it. Don't move." For to underline his demand Barry squeezed Elliot's shoulders before he left. "Keep an eye on him," he ordered one of his cronies on his way out and the man took position under the doorframe to guard the detective as he was ordered.

xxx

"Wait," Barry called on Kathy just as she wanted to follow her kids into Dickie's room.

"Yeah?" She turned to him, only outwardly unimpressed.

"You have a phone here upstairs?" Barry wanted to know.

"In our master bedroom."

"Is it mobile?"

"No. We have a mobile unit downstairs, along with the answering machine."

"Then I'll get this unit to keep it here with one of my men, so that you can answer it." Barry gestured for her to go inside.

Kathy was dumbfounded. "Why?"

"In case someone of your husband's colleagues should call and ask for him, you'll please tell them that he doesn't feel good and has taken some medicine to be fit for the hearing tomorrow. You'll convince them that he's sick."

"I'll do it. But that's no guarantee that they will believe me."

"I don't expect any calls since John has spoken with them… but… just in case." He peeked inside the boy's room. "You'll all sleep here," he said. "We'll get you another mattress.

"Okay," Kathy mumbled. She already saw themselves cuddled up together on the floor, unable to find some rest anyway. This would be a very long night.

She went to her children to sit down next to them for another game of _Monopoly_. Thoughts about them going to sleep anytime soon were fruitless. They would not be able to sleep. So they could play as well.

xxx

John leaned against the post, trying in vain to find a tolerably comfortable position. His wrists hurt from the cuffs, his arms and shoulders from being forced back and the rest of his body from being immobilized. Breathing was strenuous. The tape glued his lips shut so that he couldn't move his mouth or jaw. Each time he had to cough he feared to throw up and then suffocate.

_Damn! That's really a scenario I would not have thought of_, he reflected. _Day in, day out I keep thinking about the crudest conspiracy theories and now that I should have had suspicions or even a strange feeling I walked right into the trouble._

_Poor Elliot. Please forgive me. I did not mean to __be any more problems for you. I did not think for a moment. Oh please, please, don't be mad at me. I'll make up for it, I swear. You can ask whatever you want, I'll do it._

His throat hurt because it was dry, while he sweated as if he were in the tropics. Thereby it was not especially hot in the cellar, and aside from occasional lightning it was also pitch black.

_I'm so stupid. _He tried hard not to sob. If he would sob he would choke himself and block his sole way to breathe. _Damn, how could I be so stupid?!_

Yes, now in hindsight you could say that he had been stupid, but when he arrived he did not know better. And now it was too late.

tbc…

* * *

A/N: Okay, I'm surprised by myself. For this story this was a long chapter. Please let me know what you think. :D Thanks! 


	18. Chapter 18

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks, reviewers! Enjoy.

**18**

**Queens**

_Too late…_

It echoed through John's mind as the thunder outside rolled through the air. But the flooding rain could not wash away his mental pain.

He recalled his interrogation. Ten to one he betted that this man, who was so obviously in control of Elliot, was one of the Mendoza siblings. Still he felt shivers on his back when he thought of the big hunting knife, shining in the dim lights. He remembered clearly how it had torn off the buttons of Elliot's shirt.

And then it drew a line across his friend's chest.

It wasn't a deep cut, just deep enough to hurt and to draw blood. It looked worse than it actually was. The more John thought about this scene the more he was convinced that this cut was not half as hurting as the humiliation Elliot had been forced into.

_What is he doing right now? Will they torture him? How are Kathy and the kids? Are they treating them well, at least given the circumstances?_

_Where are they holding them? There was no one on the ground floor, so they must be upstairs. When they are upstairs, Elliot really has no contact to them. Damn!__ He must be running up the walls as long as he gets no sign of his family._

_And still he has to contain it._

_He can't run, he can't really move. He can't loudly swear. He can't freely breeze._

Oh, and he knew how hard it was for Elliot to be obedient.

_I remember how he reacted when our first captain __retired and Cragen took his place. _If he would not have been gagged, John would have laughed. _Elliot challenged him, until Cragen was left no chance but to show us that he could be the strict superior most of us actually need, and earned himself as well as his partner two weeks of ass duty… until he could not help himself and innocently tried to ask the reason, and Cragen made it six weeks. It was the first, and only, time I spent a whole day at the squad room and did not see Elliot smile or grin at least once. Cragen ordered him around, just to prove that he could. Everyone could see how humiliated Elliot felt to have to show his obedience in front of all of us. But it also was the first day he met Cragen with respect. __Elliot had tried his borders and the captain made clear to him how far he could go__ From this day on their respect and friendship grew._

A truly deafening thunder made him flinch.

_How humiliating must this situation here be for Elliot? I guess I c__an't even begin to imagine that._

_And I stupid fool made it worse! I just hope that Fin won't be too angry with me and realize that something's wrong. At court at the latest he will notice that I don't turn up._

John sighed through his nose. This all was wishful thinking and it was no use in thinking it until next morning when Elliot would have to go to testify.

xxx

**Manhattan**

"Okay, we have two suspicious Columbians who arrived in New York via Newark," Fin stated. "This was almost seven weeks ago and we have no ID."

"Doesn't tell us anything about the Mendozas," Olivia yawned. "Even if these men were siblings of Pablo… they vanished without any trace. They can be everywhere."

"Yeah. They can hide somewhere and hire local men for help," Fin grumbled. "But what will they do?"

Once more he tried to call John back.

"We need more information," he growled. "John should not prove so much consideration towards his conspiracy pal and call us. Damn! First he lets us think that he's missing and now he just ignores us! That's what I _love_ about him."

"Oh no…" Olivia suddenly moaned and slapped her forehead.

"What?" Fin was startled. "Olivia? What is it?"

"Damn. I told Elliot that I would tell him as soon as we would hear from John." She grabbed her phone. "I hope he didn't already jump in his car to come over here, just because I didn't call. He should spare his energy for the trial. The defence will make it hot for him."

So Olivia dialled and waited for Elliot to answer.

xxx

**Queens**

Elliot still sat in the kitchen and could not think straight anymore. It was not really late, but he was exhausted due to the day's events. As much as he tried to concentrate on the questions he was asked to prepare him for the interrogation of the ADA as well as the cross-examination of the defense attorney, he could hardly think of any answers.

Barry sensed it and knew they had to quit.

"Let's call it a day," he said. "You're needing some rest."

_Rest? Sounds good. How do you want to __arrange that?_

Barry laughed at Elliot's skeptical expression. "You don't have anything to fear as long as you don't annoy us. I thought I made this clear." He chuckled. "You can go to bed. I swear that nothing bad will happen."

"You don't really think that I will be able to sleep, even for a second, do you?" Elliot simply asked without to raise his voice. He did not dare to make Barry angry.

"But that's important for you, Elliot. You have to be well rested tomorrow."

Elliot just snorted.

"I know, you can't see yourself sleeping right…"

…now Barry was interrupted by the phone ringing.

Elliot's head spun around, staring at the mobile unit lying on the kitchen counter. He looked as if he wanted to jump up to grab it.

"Hey!" Barry stopped him with one raised palm and went to get the phone. He had one look at the display and held it over to Elliot. "I warn you," he said.

"It's my squad," Elliot explained after one look at the number of the incoming call. "What shall I say if I'm called out?"

"The same as usual," Barry replied. "Answer it. Turn the speaker on."

His hand trembled as he got the phone and pressed the button. "Stabler."

"_Hey, El," _Olivia's tired voice met his ear._ "Sorry, I forgot you."_

For a second he was puzzled. "Forgot me?"

"_I wanted to call as soon as we knew about John…"_

"Oh, yes."

"_He has called. Seemed to be alright. Now Fin is really pissed."_

_I can imagine that_, Elliot thought. "What has he told you?"

"_He is with one of his conspiracy friends, collecting information."_

_Yeah, I know. It's the guy standing right in front of me._ "Son of a bitch," he mumbled.

"_You're okay?" _Olivia asked.

"Yeah." He glanced at Barry. "Just… was a hard day. I didn't remember going to the zoo to be so hard."

"_Was it nice?"_

"Yeah." He did his best to keep his voice straight. It threatened to tremble.

"_You should give yourself a break. Go to bed. We see each other at court."_

"I was just about to go, Benson. Thanks for playing Mary Poppins."

Olivia wondered. _Benson?_ But it did not register. _"Night, Elliot."_

"Yeah, night."

And the line went dead.

He closed his eyes, the phone still raised to his ear. _She did not notice. Damn!_ His fingers cramped around the phone. With the next rolling thunder he felt how he started to quiver. He was at the end of his tether. His breaths came faster and became erratic. Dizziness claimed his head and he swayed on the chair.

_Why didn't you notice! Why doesn't anyone help us? Help! Please come, Liv, and help!_

"Elliot?" Barry reprimanded. "Give me the phone."

But Elliot did not even notice that Barry laid his hand over his own, pulling the phone out of his clasp.

"Elliot!"

In vain Elliot tried to fight his panic. Faster and faster beat his heart and louder rushed his blood. It was out of his conscious control now. He felt himself been pulled to his feet.

"Stop it," someone yelled.

It did not reach Elliot's mind. But it was meant for Barry, who tried to get him focused again, to no avail.

"He's got a panic attack! Let him or he'll break down!"

Now standing, pushed even more by his tormentor, Elliot's psyche pulled the emergency break. His breath caught in his lungs, they stopped, letting him desperately gasp for air, unable to get some. The world began to flicker before his eyes. It all blurred to colorful shadows before he dropped to the floor unconscious.

xxx

Kathy sat on the floor, rolling a die and setting her stone five fields forward. They had changed from _Monopoly_ to _Ludo_ and were all gathered around the board.

They treated them well, given the circumstances. The kids did not show any sign of near panic. Sure, they were scared, but it could be worse.

When she thought of the strange dinner and, especially, her encounter with Elliot before, she shuddered.

_It all depends on him_, she thought. _He's their focus. He's the one they want to keep in control. He shall testify in favor of their friend… or sibling. I know that's killing him inside. It's even more killing him to know us in danger. They are using us. They are using us to get to him, to keep him in line._

_So far they haven't hurt him seriously, at least there's nothing visible except of some bruises. But I know he's in pain. He's suffering. And he's petrified._

_Oh, El. I wish I could help you. I want to take this pain away. I hate seeing you so vulnerable. To know that you're giving in to their demands because of us fills me with love and pride as well as with disgust at the same time. Please believe me that you can't do anything that could change my high esteem of you._

Someone tugged at her sleeve.

"Mom?" Dickie said. "It's your turn."

"Oh…" She took the die. "Yes, honey."

Absently she rolled it and could kick one of his stones out. He pouted but did not say a word.

_That's unlike him, _Kathy thought_. They all are way too silent. Well, I shouldn't be surprised_. She looked at Maureen, who had Lizzie in her embrace, comforting her. _Yes, that's hard for all of us._

And she silently prayed that the trial would end their predicament.

xxx

He was drifting in dark liquid, waving around him in a low tide. It was as if it lifted him slightly up to let him fall down again. His body felt weightless. Then his world began to spin again and he was thrown onto something, hard and soft at the same time.

Slowly Elliot opened his eyes and blinked when he stared directly in a lamp. The lamp at the ceiling in their living room. So he had to be on their sofa. He closed his eyes again because he still felt dizzy.

_God!__ I fell asleep on the couch again. It had all been a bad dream! What kind of a nightmare!_

Then he shifted position and a burning pain on his chest let him freeze. His eyes flew open, holding clear panic. When his gaze fell on a figure with a black mask, he buried his face in the cushions.

"No!" he groaned pressing his eyes shut. "Noooo."

He did not like a bit how his voice almost broke, but he could not help it. His mind felt numb. Right now he had no mental comfort zone left. They had made him fall and he had hit the ground with full force.

Gentle hands brushed over his arms and shoulders. It was meant to be a soothing gesture, but it left him trembling even more violently.

He could not see how the man next to him put his glasses back on. He just knew that, for split seconds, he had seen his eyes. The eyes of a man he assumed to be _Barry_. Dark, chocolate brown eyes, with thick lashes and heavy brows. The image was burnt into his memory like the brand on his shoulder, no matter how much he tried to hide. He would never forget them and that scared the shit out of him.

A small part of his police training whispered to him, telling him over and over again that he had seen these eyes... leading him to one inevitable conclusion.

_I can identify him!_

_I'm__ as good as dead!_

tbc…

* * *

A/N: It wasn't me, it was her… (_points at _iluvstabler_ and her review and smirks_) Thanks! LOL I would have already been in the chapter describing them getting through the night, but she inspired me to do this. So, I hope you like what you got (more or less - _grins embarrassed_). Please let me know. Thanks! 


	19. Chapter 19

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks, reviewers! Now we're going to see what will happen overnight. Enjoy.

Oh, and I'd love to know if you, _MaryWhite,_ also are here with this story... :) LOL

**19**

**Queens**

He was a dead man.

Elliot heard their murmur right next to him but did not pay attention. Starting from a tight knot in his stomach waves of shivers rippled through his body, physical prove of the mental strain.

"C'mon, Elliot!" Barry pushed. "Snap out of it."

But Elliot did not react at all. His eyes still firmly shut he lay on the sofa, concentrating only on his body. When he felt someone sit down on the rim beside him, he stiffened up.

"Oh, c'mon. Show us that you're a cop! Where's your tough-ass attitude Pablo has told us about?"

_On sick-leave_, he thought. _I wish she would come back. I wish for you to run into my fist to break cheek bones and nose, to spill blood. Give me my gun and I show you were it is_.

"C'mon, Elliot, look at me." Barry sounded annoyed now. "Your last chance… open your eyes."

Elliot did not like that sound. It told him that pain and terror were just about to strike him. So he forced himself to obey.

The black masked man hovered over him, his glasses on, and leaned forward, hands on his shoulders to pin him down.

"Can you tell me what happened?" Barry asked.

_Stupid question. As if you hadn't seen what happened_. Once more the air caught in his chest. He turned his head to hide in the cushions.

"You don't talk with me anymore?" Barry grumbled and grabbed Elliot's chin.

Elliot tried to resist against this clasp but had to give in to it. His head was turned and he stared up at the triangular glasses. He did not feel fear right now but an all consuming rage. Obviously it was visible in his features.

"I knew that would hide somewhere inside of you," Barry chuckled. "T'was just a matter of time when it would return. Just be cautious not to give in to your rage."

What the hell, he was dead anyway.

"I would cheerfully shoot you, given the opportunity," he snarled.

"I'm sure you would," Barry laughed. "You'd love to beat me to a pulp, too. It's okay to feel that way, I just would not recommend to actually try."

Getting up he grabbed Elliot's arm and pulled him to his feet, too. The detective stumbled because his ankles still were bound.

"Time to go to bed," Barry said and shoved him towards the stairs.

xxx

John would have been happy to be able to do that. He just could sit there, leaning against the post. As his arms were cuffed behind it, he could not lay down. He had no choice at all. His body hurt because it was not possible to assume another position.

_Damn! What is Elliot doing?_ He let his mind wander. _And what are Kathy and the kids doing? Are they alright?_

_Why haven't I had any idea to try and alarm Fin without them noticing? My mind was blank. I just could follow this man's order._

_What is Fin doing? Is he already in bed? Entangled with his girlfriend again? Or is he trying to find a trace of the Mendozas?_

_That would be great. Maybe he would find something I've missed so far. Is someone helping him? Olivia? Have they called Cragen?_

_Fin can also be at home. He can lay in his bed, stretching, turning… sleeping. I won't sleep at all,_ he suspected._ I can be glad if I can halfway move tomorrow._

He snorted.

_That is in case they will let us go after Elliot's testimony. They took precautions to be able to do that. They wouldn't wear these masks all the time if they would intend to kill all of us. Chances are that they will just leave when Elliot testified and the jury, hopefully, finds Mendoza not guilty._

_And if the jurors__ say guilty?_

xxx

"Let me kiss them goodnight?" Elliot wanted to know. He stood beside the bed of their master bedroom.

"You're masochistic?" Barry asked back. "Why do you want to torture yourself?"

Elliot longed to see the kids, to see Kathy. All he wanted to do was to hold them, to offer them some comfort. And he wanted to stay with them. He knew why Barry said what he said. It would tear him apart when he had to leave them to go back here. They had each other.

He was alone.

"Don't move," Barry said.

He closed in on him and remained standing right in front of him. "I mean it. Don't move." Then he squatted to untie the rope holding Elliot's ankles.

The detective shivered. He closed his eyes but that did not help. Squinting down at Barry he took a deep breath. To feel the strange hands touch his legs gave him the creeps. So his muscles were hard with tension.

"You're way too cramped, Elliot," Barry said when he straightened up again and took two steps back. "Take off your clothes," he ordered. "C'mon, undress."

Slowly Elliot obeyed. He hesitated to remove his jeans. It had nothing to do with modesty. He just did not want to appear obedient.

And quickly was rewarded with an urging gesture.

So he slipped the pants down and stepped out of it.

"Good."

One man brought a chair in and put it next to the door._ For a guard_, Elliot suspected.

Barry closed in on him, a rope in hands.

"Give me your right arm," he ordered.

More than reluctantly Elliot obeyed. He had no other choice. He knew it, but yet, everything inside of him still screamed each time he received an order.

Barry wound the rope around Elliot's wrist and secured it with several knots.

"Now you can go to bed," he said. "Lie down on your back."

_On my back?_ Elliot almost cried out loud. A hint of panic shot through him when he sat down on the bed. How was he supposed to do that?

Barry snorted. "C'mon, Elliot. That can't be so difficult. Lie down or I'll do it for you."

Elliot pulled up his legs and slowly began to turn. Barry lost his patience and pushed him down.

The sudden fall on the mattress was the straw that broke the camel's back. Panic hit him full force, the icy lump seemed to explode, splattering the shards through his veins and he groaned in mental pain when Barry leaned forward to thread the rope through the bars of the bed's head. Elliot began to shake violently, trying to get up again.

"Stay where you are and give me your left hand," Barry hissed sharply. "You shall stay put!" He looked up to call, "Doc!"

Another man rushed in, two others stopped at the door.

When Elliot saw the black leather, unmistakable doctor's bag in the new man's hand, he lost it. His scream of terror was so high pitched and frenzied that the men automatically backed off at first. Then they were over him at once. One tried to get onto his hip while a second fought to get hold of his frantically kicking legs. Barry took advantage of the rope already tied to his wrist and pulled it tight. So Elliot's right hand was immobilized in split seconds. Yet, he reared with all his might. He thrashed and kicked, wriggled and punched, squealed and cried.

His back seemed to break when the first guy came to sit on his pelvis, pinning him down on the mattress. Two men were now grabbing at his legs, nailing him down, while the first and Barry fought with him. Holding his left arm with one hand, reaching for his thrashing head with the other, first guy bounced up and down on his body.

It hurt like hell and Elliot screamed even louder until Barry managed to get his palm over his mouth, silencing but not stopping him. Still he screamed into the glove, wide-eyed and terrified.

"Get his arm to the railing," Barry gasped, throwing the end of the rope onto the bed.

The man did as he was told, needing both his hands to force Elliot's wrist between the bars. He got up from the hip and knelt on the arm, to have both his hands free to bind him. Even Barry took no risk, squatted on the bed's rim and covered Elliot's mouth with one hand while he pressed him down with the other on the forehead.

Elliot was overpowered. Still tense under the weight of the four men, his sole mean to resist now was his stare that pierced Barry with a dead glare.

"Doc?" Barry called.

"Yeah," the addressed one growled and closed in again. He untied the rope holding Elliot's right arm and straightened the limb.

"Stop struggling," Barry snarled. "How else do you want to get some decent night's sleep? Do you think you can sleep without our help? You can't look like a ghost tomorrow at court."

One more man joined to hold the wrist while Doc got a small bottle and a syringe out of his bag. Slowly he filled it with a clear liquid. Then he disinfected the hollow of the arm, got the syringe and stuck the needle in the vein.

Elliot whimpered when the drug was injected. He knew that it would not take too long now until he passed out, and renewed panic washed over him.

Once Doc was finished Barry grasped the wrist and forced it down next to the head.

Closing his eyes Elliot tried to concentrate only on his breathing again when Barry retied his right hand to the bed frame. Now his arms lay on both sides of his head, the wrists thoroughly secured. The bondage was not tight, but he could not reach one hand with the other either. So he had no chance at all to get free.

It was a relatively soft rope, out of synthetic fiber, which nestled around his joints. Nevertheless, it hurt him deeply. It hurt his pride. It made him helpless and feel vulnerable. It left him totally at the mercy of the intruders, and he hated it.

When Barry was finished he ushered his henchmen, who held Elliot's legs and body, out and pulled up the sheets before he sat down on the chair next to the door. He silently watched.

Elliot felt no desire to communicate in any way. Even as he held his eyes closed, he was convinced that Barry knew he was still awake. All his muscles were tense with anticipation. Yet, he felt that it lessened. The constant threat and Barry's power games left him emotionally exhausted. And that also took its toll on his body.

He would be glad to relax, to sleep and to recuperate. And as he observed his condition he suspected that he would get this chance.

_Certainly it__ is the drug, Doc has injected me with, taking effect. Damn!_

He blinked, unwilling to fall asleep in his own house, surrounded by foreign men who threatened himself and his family. But he felt his muscles relax now and slowly his breaths evened out, too. His eyes fell closed and he fought several times to keep them open.

_Good Lord, Dear Mother Mary, please take care of my family as long as I can't_, he prayed before the drug finally claimed him and he sank into deep, dreamless sleep.

xxx

Kathy lay on the mattress, her kids on and around her. Lizzie snuggled up to her, because she could not stand the thunderstorm. Kathy had turned out the lights except of the small lamp on the nightstand. That she had to keep burning according to the orders of the intruders.

Dickie's elbow bore in her left side but she ignored it. On her right lay Maureen and Kathleen, entangled in a close embrace, Kat pressing with her back against her, Kathy's, side. These two seemed to be asleep while the twins were tossing restlessly.

She could not blame them. The stress was atrocious. Actually Kathy was surprised that the kids did not panic. She had suspected them to lose their heads after dinner at the latest, but they returned upstairs with her and continued to play.

_If it has something to do with El being a cop_, she wondered. _Our kids grew up with the anticipation I had to learn to live with, the anticipation of a call or another cop standing on our threshold to tell me that El had been wounded or killed on duty_.

All these thoughts were abruptly banished from her mind when a terrified scream met her ear. Even over the thunder it was loud enough to startle up the kids. They sat up as fast as Kathy herself and listened.

Lizzie almost choked her mom as she clung to her neck, the older girls clung to each other and Dickie screamed himself… with rage. Kathy had to grab his sweater to hold him back as he wanted to storm out, over to the master bedroom. Tears immediately shot into all their eyes when they heard Elliot scream like that.

The man under the doorframe straightened up and gestured them to remain silent. So Kathy pulled her son back down and into her embrace to try and silence him.

"What are they doing, Mom?" Maureen whispered. Kathleen sobbed continuously.

"I don't know, honey."

"They're hurting him," Maureen gasped. "Oh my God, they're hurting him."

"Come to me," Kathy offered. "Come over here."

So they all cuddled up to her, still listening to the terrified squeals of their dad and husband. Suddenly the screams stopped. Kathy gasped and grabbed her kids harder. Repeatedly she told herself that these men only made him stop crying, that they had silenced him one way or another. _He's okay,_ she told herself. _El's okay, they just… gagged him. They didn't hurt him_… In a soothing voice she continued to mutter assurances.

She prayed that she would be right. She prayed that she could calm her kids. She prayed for this ordeal to end.

But she was not convinced that all of this would happen.

xxx

When he heard the deep, even breaths Barry knew that the detective was fast asleep.

He took off the glasses and removed the black mask to reveal equally black hair and dark eyes. For several minutes he just sat and watched the sleeping man.

Then he stood up and approached the bed. He also took off the glove and reached out to touch the cheeks. Gently stroking he smiled to himself. He let his fingers run over the cheek bones, down the neck and along the cut he'd made down in the cellar. Then he laid his hand on the bare chest. Pressing lightly he could feel the constant breathing.

A small smile touched his lips.

"Te diviertas, hermano?" one of the other men said. He also had taken off the mask.

"If you mean play games with him, then yes, I enjoy myself," Barry answered. He did not bother to hide his accent now. "They shouldn't have picked up a quarrel with the Mendoza clan!"

"Qué quieres hacer con ellos?"

"What do you mean, little brother? I already told you that we won't touch his family as long as he plays along. That's why _you_'re not talking and all of us are wearing masks. Remember?"

"Pablo won't be pleased, Enrique. He will want to have revenge! Even if he _does_ come out of jail after the trial."

Enrique's, _Barry's_ smile became vicious.

"See this body? It's a fighter's body. He would put up a hell of a fight if he could even see a slight chance of getting out of it alive." He stroke the well-built chest with his thumb. "And he's got a strong mind, too."

"Sounds like you'd admire him," his brother scolded.

"Nobody told us not to admire our enemies. On the contrary it could be dangerous to underestimate them." He chuckled. "Besides, I never said that his family includes the detective, too. We'll take him with us and when we're back in Columbia, Pablo can have all the fun he likes."

tbc…

* * *

A/N: Now I'd really like to hear from all of you. There's a record of 10 to break, so review, folks, review! 

PS: I don't know if you are getting mails, but my upload-confirmations and alerts still don't work. So if someone feels like talking with me and has yahoo! messenger, my new ID there is roadrunner(underline)ger. I'd like to especially invite _obsessedwithstabler_ and _iluvstabler_. I'd love to hear from you… as well as from everyone else. LOL :)


	20. Chapter 20

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great show LO:SVU. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Sorry for the long wait, folks. I was so busy with my CI/SVU crossover that I actually did not notice how much time has passed. (grins embarrassed)

This chapter's for the new reader who announced her presence with a review for ch19 (and ch18). Be assured that I like happy endings, too. I'll remain true to the title nevertheless. Enjoy!

**20**

**Queens**

It was early morning, when Elliot began to toss about in sleep. Without to wake up he wriggled under the blankets and strained against the rope that held him to the bed frame.

For a moment the guard watched him before he went to get Enrique. Their leader slept on the sofa and was alert in just a few seconds.

"What's wrong?" he wanted to know.

"I guess he'll wake up soon," the guard replied. "At least the drug wore off."

So Enrique put on the mask again and with it the role of Barry. He did not deceive himself. Certainly the detective knew that his captors were some of Mendoza's followers. But as long as Enrique wore the mask he remained a nameless and faceless enemy he could not identify. It was easier to cause fear, to force him to obey. Anonymity was essential for their success.

When he came into the bedroom Elliot lay motionless but tense in bed. The rope was tight as he strained against it unconsciously in sleep. Barry stood over him, waiting. He lost his patience when he noticed that the rope caused first burns.

"Elliot," he finally called. "Elliot!"

He did not reach him. Elliot still was fast asleep. He started wriggling again when a new nightmare started. His head flew from side to side, dashing into the pillow, and he groaned.

He awoke with a start. Suddenly his eyes flew open. He felt his heart pound in his chest and his breaths were fast and erratic. Staring at the ceiling, right then he did not know where he was. When he tried to move the rope tightened again. The restraint triggered the memories of the day previous. They came back with a vengeance and he went rigid, pressing his eyes shut.

When Barry touched his right wrist his eyes flew open again and he gasped. The rope creaked as he strained even more against it. His wrists hurt. He wanted to kick the man hovering above him, but he just stared at the triangular glasses with unconcealed fury.

Barry clasped his chin, painfully.

"Be careful, Elliot."

"I am… you're the one who drugged me," he grumbled.

"I already told you that you needed the rest. And you wouldn't have slept at all if we wouldn't have helped you, would you." He bowed deeper over him, getting in his face. "I'm also the one with the power to take away your lives. So be careful what you do or say."

"I'll go to court and testify for Mendoza. I'll tell nobody about you so you'll be able to leave unnoticed when the jury made her decision… But don't expect me to make friends with you."

"No one said you should. Just be careful what you do and say."

He released his grip and started to untie the rope that held Elliot's right arm. At once he felt the tension of his muscles so that he put his hand on Elliot's forearm.

"Drop it," he scolded. "Just relax and we won't have any problem."

For him this was easy to say. Elliot's heart rate still was sky high from his nightmare and waking up to the hell his home had become the day previous. Even if he would have been ready to comply, he just could not. His body refused to give in. Barry took that as stubbornness.

Without further warning he pushed Elliot to the side, turning him on his stomach and twisted his arm behind his back.

With his left hand still tied to the head of the bed Elliot was effectively immobilized in seconds.

"Don't defy me, Elliot. I will only accept complete surrender. Anything less will hurt your family."

"When you do as much as lay a finger on one of them," Elliot grumbled into the pillow.

So Barry grabbed his neck and pressed his head down.

"You son of a bitch," he snarled. "Don't play games with me. You will follow our rules or your colleagues will have to attend a sixfold funeral. Do you finally get this?"

Elliot did not react.

"Tell me, Elliot! Tell me now or we'll end this!"

Refusal meant death, he was sure of that. His neck hurt as well as the lump in his stomach, and his heart ached when he answered.

"I do," he grumbled, his voice muffled by the pillow.

"I knew you would," Barry snickered. He climbed onto the bed and sat down on Elliot's back. Then he freed his left hand just for to tie both behind his back. Getting up himself he pulled Elliot off the bed and forced him on his knees.

Elliot glanced at the clock on the nightstand. It was just about 5 am. Still it was silent in the house and the morning sun just peeked over the roofs of the next houses.

He closed his eyes. _Bound again. Well, at least not as cruel as the day previous. They certainly don't want to leave visible marks, someone could notice at court._ Inwardly he shuddered. He could not deny that he was scared… scared for his family.

Barry sat down on the bed and watched him.

xxx

John had not slept at all. Maybe he dozed off for some minutes every so often, but he had not slept. First light crept into the cellar and he yawned.

_This is the day of the trial_, he thought. _The final day. The day of the decision. Only Taylor's and Elliot's testimony will be heard today and then the counselors will hold their final speeches. Then it's up to the jury._

When one of the masked men came into the storage room to check on him he moaned. Rolling his eyes he tried to get the man's attention.

"What's up, rat?" the man snarled.

John tried to mumble his answer into the gag, but it did not work. Please take it off, he thought and frowned at the guy.

Obviously the man was curious. "Don't scream or something," he warned as he peeled off the gag.

John shook his head. "I'd have to use the bathroom," he croaked. His throat was dry.

"I don't have the keys." The man stood again and looked over his shoulder. Then he went out.

Barry came down a few minutes later.

"You'll behave when I open these," he said and John nodded.

They went upstairs and John did what he had to do. Then Barry brought him back down again.

"How are Elliot and his family?" John could not help to ask when he was cuffed to the post again.

"They're still asleep," Barry said. "They're okay."

John snorted.

"Will you remain silent?" Barry wanted to know.

"Yes, I will," John agreed. There was no point in screaming anyway.

"Okay."

Barry turned to leave. "Have an eye on him," he ordered the other man, then he went upstairs.

xxx

When Barry entered the master bedroom he went straight over to Elliot and pulled him to his feet.

"Time to get ready," he cheered. "You know your place, right?"

"Caring for my family," Elliot said.

Under his mask Barry sneered. This had not been the answer he had expected, but it worked as well. "And that includes…?"

"To testify at court."

"As well as…" Barry pressed, but Elliot remained silent. "C'mon, Elliot. Answer me! Don't you remember our chat yesterday?"

Oh, he remembered only too well. How could he forget the painful rope and the thick gag in his mouth before Barry started to _question_ him? At once his insides constricted again. He knew where this conversation headed and he wanted to get out of it as soon as possible.

So he swallowed his rage and, fighting to keep his features expressionless, he answered, "I have to follow your orders."

"Yeah." Barry did not let himself be fooled. He sensed the reluctance of the detective. He tried to resist. And that Barry could not tolerate.

"Always think of it," he whispered in Elliot's ear. "You don't submit, one of your family will die. Now it's time for you to get ready for court."

"I want to see them before I go."

"You're in no position to make demands," Barry hissed. "You'll get nothing from me as long as you're defying me." He circled his captive to untie the rope. "Go to the bathroom and get finished."

"I need to get some underwear out of the drawer," Elliot said toneless.

"Where is it?" Barry asked.

"The second from the top," Elliot nodded to the furniture.

So Barry went to get out what Elliot needed. Then he followed him over to the bathroom.

Only reluctantly Elliot went through his morning routine. When he stood under the shower he turned his back no Barry who was still watching.

_That's how it started yesterday_, Elliot thought. _I was under the shower and did not hear anything downstairs. Then they caught me when I came down_.

Shivers ran down his back. He grimaced and adjusted the temperature of the water. Now it almost burned his skin and filled the bath with thick steam.

"Stop this," Barry ordered.

_You don't even grant me a shower?_ Elliot turned the water off and grabbed for his towel. _Afraid that the steam might hide me? _So he continued with shaving and brushing his teeth. Once finished Barry guided him back to the bedroom. A plate with toast, bacon and fried egg sat on the nightstand.

"Breakfast in bed," Barry snickered. "Well, almost."

Elliot could not see the fun of this remark.

"I need clothes," he stated.

"Then get them." Barry sat down on the chair next to the door. He chuckled. "Don't you think we wouldn't have searched the wardrobes and drawers? You won't find anything in there you could use against us. So much you should have learned."

Oh, yes, he had. He knew that Barry was not stupid.

So he got shirt and suit out, fetched tie, socks and shoes and dressed. Then he sat down on the bed. Barry made an inviting gesture to the food.

Elliot frowned. He could not say that he was hungry. On the other hand he really should eat something, because he did not know how long the day might become. So he tried the toast with some bacon, but he could not eat much.

While he nibbled at the toast, he watched how one of the other men came in to whisper with Barry. Then Barry left and the other man sat down to guard him. Elliot knew that this was not a chance. He could attack the guy, but there were at least seven men more and it took only one of them to pull a trigger and kill.

When Elliot sat the plate down on the nightstand again, the man motioned him to come over. So Elliot stood and went to the man who stepped aside to let him pass, gesturing him to go ahead.

Barry awaited him at the foot of the stairwell. He took hold of his left arm and guided him to the living room. Two of his comrades were behind them and they stayed there, when Barry let go and told him to stop right were he was.

From the cupboard Barry got Elliot's badge. He held it casually in his left and eyed it for a moment.

"You will need this," he said and threw it to his captive.

Elliot caught it and clipped it on his belt without second thought. His eyes rested on the other item which lay on the cupboard.

"I have to tell you that there is a bug in your badge," Barry said. "After all we want to know what you're doing."

Elliot stared at him but remained silent. Once more he felt the icy lump grow in his gut.

"One of us will always be close by. Don't try to run, don't try to tell someone about us and don't hide. You have a time window of five minutes. You disappear longer than that and one of us here will have fun with one of your girls."

Elliot ground his teeth. The veins on his neck became visible as his body tensed with rage and his eyes narrowed.

"And we will have fun until you show up again."

Elliot did not react. His gaze rested again on the other thing.

"I wouldn't even think about it if I were you," Barry reproved as he picked up the shining gun and the corresponding magazine. He loaded and secured the weapon.

"You do so much as get it out of its holster in our presence and your wife's history." Barry made a few strides forward and tucked the weapon safely into the holster on Elliot's belt. He felt the detective shudder with rage. "Cool it, Elliot. You're in no position to pick a quarrel with us."

How Elliot wished to slam his fist into this blackened face, breaking cheek bones for example. He would cheerfully shoot Barry given the opportunity.

Instead he swallowed his rage and did not move at all, staring straight ahead into space.

Of course Barry noticed his suppressed emotions and acknowledged his behavior patting his left upper arm.

"Good boy. Your kids can be proud of you."

With the next breath Elliot growled, but that was all. He did not dare to do anything else.

Barry laughed as well as the other men.

When Elliot turned his head and his stare fixed on the glasses, Barry's laugh died down. Invisible for the detective he returned the stare. He sensed that he had crossed a line. And for the first time he wondered what this man really was capable of himself.

_He had been a marine_, Barry reminded himself. _And served as police officer for almost fifteen years now_. His smirk under the mask faded, too. _He will do as he was told for the sake of his family but he does not submit… not the way I'd like him to do_.

He felt that he was about of losing this fight and reached into one of his pockets. Holding the car keys on eye-level he broke the contact.

At least he thought he would. But Elliot continued to stare, not losing any of the intensity. Barry chinked with the keys and Elliot held his hand out without to turn. So Barry let them fall into the other man's palm. When he shifted his weight he retreated just an inch backwards.

It was all Elliot could ask for right at this moment. To hold his threatening stare upright was harder than it seemed to be. The empty glasses scared the living hell out of him. When the keys fell into his hand and Barry broke the contact, he looked away, too.

What would Barry do next? Elliot knew he could not win this power game, but was not willing to quit it without even a few points on his score.

And Barry knew that he had to regain the upper hand right now. There was no way to tell if the detective noticed the slight gesture he made to his comrade, or heard the other man leave. But he certainly noticed how he came back, together with Kathy.

"Elliot?"

Her scared voice gave him the creeps. He forced himself not to turn or to look at Barry. As Barry got the gun out of his holster again he winced. A second later the muzzle of the unlocked weapon pressed against his left temple.

"El…?!" she began to scream, but someone cut her off by jamming a gag between her jaws.

"Don't move," Barry hissed. "You move, she'll pay for it."

The gun remained in place as Barry stepped behind him and got hold of his right wrist, twisting the arm behind his back.

Two men pushed Kathy into his field of vision. One of them held her at the elbows while the other began to beat her.

"No," Elliot croaked. All he got in response was Barry tightening the grip on him. Automatically he bowed forward to escape the pain caused by the twist on his arm. The excuse Barry needed to let his men continue the beating.

"I told you, not to move," Barry snarled.

He could not win. Elliot fought hard to try and straighten up again. It felt as if his forearm would break every moment. Yet, he struggled to stand upright, until the muzzle touched his head again.

"Stop it," Barry ordered his men. They released Kathy at once.

"So, you got the point now?" Barry asked menacingly. "Don't you forget it again. I may not want to hurt someone, but you can be sure that I will."

He let go of Elliot, tucked the gun back in its holster and shoved him out of the living room unceremoniously.

"Go. And don't come back without an acquittal on reasonable doubt."

Elliot walked down the driveway like a robot. He worked on autopilot. How he managed to drive he did not know, but he had almost reached the Queensboro Bridge when he had to stop at the curb because his vision blurred with tears. Slumped over the steering wheel he was crying bitterly.

tbc…


	21. Chapter 21

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Woohoo! I'm sorry for real life… LOL Pushing doesn't change lack of time. LOL Thanks for the interest in the story, though. Here the new chapter comes. It's for _Iluvstabler_ and _ClueImpaired_, because they waited so "_patiently_" :D (big Cheshire grin) Special thanks to ConfusedOne for proof reading the court scene! Enjoy:)

**21**

**Manhattan**

After he had stopped his car on a parking space near court, he just sat behind the wheel, trying to think about nothing. Elliot was gathering his strength to go in and face his colleagues, Alex and the judge. The jury did not worry him, but the professionals, everyone ahead his partner.

Damn, they all knew that Munch was missing, but no one had drawn the right conclusion after the forced phone call! They let themselves be fooled and even annoyed. So it was not certain to assume that someone noticed his predicament without him explicitly saying so.

Opposite of him a big motorcycle came to a halt. When the driver took off his helmet, Elliot recognized Jack McCoy on his BMW. He admired this bike. If he would have the money… Well, he would not be able to afford such a machine.

Still dreaming about this bike, or maybe a Harley, he was caught by surprise when McCoy knocked on his door.

"Hey, son. You're okay?"

"Yeah," Elliot rushed to answer. "Just lost in thoughts." He got out of the car and joined the ADA on his way in.

"Are you testifying today?" McCoy asked.

"Yeah, Mendoza and Domingo. Which case are you prosecuting?"

"Crais, double homicide. I'm up against Della Mason."

"Good luck," Elliot grumbled. "She's quite a capacity, just like her old man."

"So, Mendoza and Domingo, hm? Alex Cabot is eager to get them behind bars. Now talking about it I remember that she told me that your testimony is quite important."

"Yes, it is," Elliot mumbled. When the attorney struggled with helmet and suitcase he grabbed for the helmet.

"Thanks, detective," McCoy said, but Elliot waved off. "You don't sound very enthusiastic. Any problems with the case?"

"It's just… these men are charged with the attempted murder of my partner and a second colleague. I know exactly what happened, but…"

"But you're still nervous." McCoy smiled at him a fatherly smile. "I know this. Each time I'm at court I'm nervous." The detective did not seem to be convinced. "Must be like stage fright," he grinned. "Kind of belongs to a trial."

Tiredly Elliot grinned back. He really did not feel like grinning.

"Thanks and good luck," McCoy said, getting his helmet back. Then he already turned and headed for his trial.

Elliot was left behind in his dust. _One chance gone_, he thought.

When he went to the court room Mendoza's trial was held in, he saw Olivia and Fin waiting in front of it. Even captain Cragen was with them. At once he felt uneasy.

"Hey, Elliot," Olivia greeted.

"Hey, Liv, Fin," he mumbled. "Morning, Captain."

"Hi, Elliot. Ready to sack them?"

"Yeah."_ Damn! Why do I croak like that?_ He had a lump in his throat and tried to clear it.

"Show a bit of enthusiasm!" his superior teased. Then he noticed the hint of shadows under Elliot's eyes. "You're okay?"

"Had a bad night," he replied. _Make up your mind fast. Find something. Damn!_ "Kathleen was sick and Dickie, too. Stayed up half of the night."

"Poor guys," Olivia said. "The flu?"

"Maybe they ate something wrong when we were at the zoo." Elliot stared at her intently, but she turned to Fin. Their colleagues was typing on his cell phone.

"Any message? A call?" Olivia wanted to know.

Fin shook his head. This time Cragen noticed that something bothered the two detectives.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Munch," Fin grumbled. "Yesterday he bugged us with one of his conspiracy theories and now he's vanished."

"Vanished?" Cragen became attentive. "Why do you think he's vanished?"

"Do you see him here?" Fin growled. "He called me yesterday, got on my nerves with a story about Columbians possibly planning something to free Mendoza. And now he didn't show up here. I'd call that vanished."

"Has he called you since you've seen him yesterday, El?" Olivia asked.

_No, but I've seen him,_ he thought miserably. "No. He left after a few minutes. Since then I've heard nothing of him, either." _He didn't leave_, he screamed inwardly. A slight shake of his head was all he dared to do and because of that nobody noticed his pain. They all focused on Munch instead.

"Do you know where he got his information from?" Cragen asked.

"One of his pals he's sharing theories with," Fin grumbled. "First time he called, I didn't pay so much attention. It's my fault."

"It's not your fault, Fin. You could not know." Olivia put one hand on his shoulder.

Detective Mack Taylor came up the stairs. He greeted them with a curt nod and entered the court room.

_Lucky guy,_ Elliot thought.

"I'll have Munch's ass for this," Fin growled. "Idiot!"

_Poor guy_. Elliot remembered him vividly, cuffed to the post in his cellar, gagged with duct tape. He felt bile rise. His mind was numb. All his marine and police training had been erased by the death threat against his family. Not a single idea how to alarm his colleagues came to his mind. His insides were churning and his head began to spin.

xxx

"How's he doing?" Enrique asked.

"Talking with someone," his comrade said. "Must be his co-workers." He reached up, the headphones in hand. Enrique took them and put them on.

They sat in a van not unlike the ones the technicians of the NYPD used, too. It was stuffed with equipment and a lot of lamps were flashing.

"They're talking 'bout his kids," he grinned. "Good reaction, Elliot."

Listening intently to the conversation, he .

"Now it's about John." His smirk became vicious. "Stupid guy ended up in Elliot's cellar."

Suddenly he froze. This was nothing he liked and he reacted immediately.

xxx

**Criminal Court**

**100 Centre Street**

"Do you remember the Coker case?" Elliot asked. "Maybe that's what making me nervous. You never know how a jury will react."

"They interviewed the members of the jury several times," Olivia said. "I don't think that there could be a cheater among them."

"I remember it," Fin said. "And this guy wasn't a cheater. He was blackmailed."

Elliot's heart started to pound wildly. _Now_, he thought, _come on Fin!_

But still Fin did not draw the right conclusion. Neither did Olivia or Cragen.

Elliot's cell phone rang. Having a look at it he recognized his home number.

"Yeah," he answered it.

"_Keep quiet,"_ Barry's voice hissed in his ear._ "Keep your damned mouth shut. You try something like that again and we'll teach your daughter a lesson. You can __chose__ which one."_

Elliot's breath caught in his throat and his heart pounded even more wildly. He turned and went a few steps away from his colleagues.

"You…," he panted. "Won't do anything. You do that to one of them and I swear…"

"_Don't swear, Elliot. __Except on the stand.__ I'm the boss right now. And you'll keep your damned mouth shut or __it's__ rape for one of them… for Kathleen. So shut up. Got it?!"_

Elliot swallowed.

"Yeah," he managed to mumble. "I got it."

"_Good boy. Keep your girls save, Elliot. Now go back to the others, step on the stand and do what we asked you to do. Then everything will be alright."_

_I doubt it_, Elliot thought. "Yeah."

"_Okay. Then go."_

Elliot closed his cell phone and turned to the others. Right at this moment Alex Cabot arrived.

"Good morning, everyone," she cheered. "Ready to go?"

"Yes, counselor," Cragen told her. "We're ready."

_I'm not,_ Elliot grumbled inwardly. _I'm not prepared to do this! God, help me!_

"We're going in," Olivia said to him. "Hear Taylor's testimony."

"Okay," he mumbled back. "I'm staying here."

She nodded and grinned at him in an attempt to cheer him up. Then she followed the others in, leaving Elliot behind, brooding. So he did not notice that he was not alone in the hall.

Out of the corner of his eyes Elliot saw detective Bobby Goren pace in front of the door of another courtroom. The constant movement made him nervous even more and he took a deep breath to calm himself. It did not work.

On his left side he also could watch a man in a dark suit, wearing a hat. If that might be the one who kept an eye on him? There was no way to tell and he certainly would not ask him.

"Could you stop that?" Elliot exploded louder than he intended to be.

Bobby was effectively stopped in his tracks. "Stop what?"

"Exactly that," Elliot answered. "This pacing. I'm getting sea sick."

"Sorry," Bobby replied, sounding actually embarrassed.

For a long moment he remained in place, for his part watching the other detective. Elliot stood motionless, arms crossed over his chest and stared at a statuette of Justice standing in an alcove. He seemed to be at a far distant place.

Slowly Bobby approached him.

"Is she telling you something?" he queried.

"What?"

"Justice," he nodded in the direction of the figurine. "Is she talking with you?"

Elliot took his view off the small sculpture and turned to Bobby. He read a hint of amusement and a lot of boyish curiosity in the other man's features.

"I'm just reminding myself of her symbolism," he replied. "We just could file a difficult case, and the one I'm going to testify in now wasn't much easier."

"Which hearing is it?"

"Domingo and Mendoza."

"I heard about this case. Slave-trade and forced prostitution, right?"

Elliot just nodded.

"You did quite a good job. How is it going now?"

"Quite well so far. We'll see what the jury's thinking."

Now it was Bobby's turn to nod.

"Hey, Bobby," a petite blonde addressed him. "I thought you'd already be on the stand."

"Hey, Alex. As you can see, I'm not."

Elliot nodded a hello at her. He knew she was his partner. What was her last name again… yes, Eames.

"You're Elliot Stabler, Olivia Benson's partner, right?" Alex asked.

"Yeah," he grinned. "She's already in there, following the hearing."

"We were talking about the trail. I visited her several times while she was recovering and she told me that it's not really watertight."

Elliot nodded. "We don't have 120 percent, about 80 will have to be enough."

The door of the court room, Bobby had been pacing in front of, opened and a bailiff appeared. "Detective Goren," he called and Bobby turned towards him.

"You still have to testify?" Alex asked and Elliot nodded. "Well, it will turn out right, I'm sure of that."

Elliot just smiled at her. Then he watched the two MCS detectives vanish into the court room. His view was drawn by the statuette again.

Justitia, the Roman goddess of justice. She was the personification of the divine rightness of law. She was just orienting herself by hearing for to remain unbiased, her images most often depicted as blindfolded for to indicate that justice is meted out objectively, without fear or favor, regardless of the identity, power, or weakness of the individuals brought before the bar. She depended on hearing the truth for to measure the strengths of a case's support and opposition right and then to divide the power of Reason and Justice in either direction simultaneously with her double edged sword.

Today she would be deceived and Elliot hated to be the one doing it with every fiber of his being.

xxx

For Alex Cabot everything went as usual. She was questioning Detective Mack Taylor, the supervisor of the Crime Scene Unit, about the forensic results.

His statement would make the dry scientific facts more comprehensible for the members of the jury.

"So could you please describe to us what you found out about the weapon?"

"Well, after doing comparison shots we found out that the bullets, fired with the weapons secured in the street correspond with the bullets found at the second scene and the bullet removed by the doctors from Detective Benson's leg. As you can see on this enlargement the grooves are identical."

"Is it possible that these grooves are also correspondent to a gun of similar type?" Alex asked.

"No, that's not possible. Grooves are as unique as fingerprints."

"So you can prove without any doubt that the shots fired at Detectives Benson and Tutuola came out of the guns of the defendants?"

Mack was about to answer when the defense attorney rose to his feet.

"Objection! There's no proof that the weapons belong to our clients!"

"Your honor, the prosecution will prove this fact by testimony of a witness," Alex contradicted.

"Then I will decide about this objection later," the judge said. "Please continue, counselor."

"Thank you, your honor."

So Alex asked Mack Taylor several questions more and he answered them all without hesitation. Also the cross could not shake his testimony. Finally he left the stand and Alex turned to her desk.

"The people call Detective Elliot Stabler," she said and looked at the jury, challenge written in her features.

xxx

There was the vertigo again and he almost missed the small step up to the witness stand. A shudder washed over him. Up here he already felt like a traitor.

A paralegal approached and held up the mandatory bible. Automatically Elliot laid his hand on the cover as he had done so many times before. It was all he could do not to jerk it back. When he touched the bible it seemed to burn his palm like the bar had burnt his shoulder.

Yet, he lifted the other hand and took the oath.

In the short seconds ADA Alex Cabot needed to lay down her papers and to come up to the stand he let his view wander through the court. There were many people watching the trial. Some civilians aside of the reporters. Several cops. He also saw Olivia and Fin. And there was again the man in the dark suit, still wearing the hat.

Elliot was almost certain that he was the guy watching him.

Right then the door opened and detectives Bobby Goren and Alex Eames slipped into the room and in two vacant seats.

"Detective Stabler," the counselor's annoyed voice reached Elliot's mind.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled.

Everyone who did not know him as well as someone like his partner would have missed it. But Olivia had noticed even the slightest frown and the twitch in his body when he touched the book that meant so much to him. Now that he had missed Alex' first question she was alarmed.

"Together with Detective Benson I was in charge of the case, yes. We were investigating for more than a month when we finally had a lead to the base of the organization…" Elliot began to outline the facts of the case before Alex could question him about the night of the raid.

While he was talking about given facts which were already confirmed by statements of his colleagues, Elliot calmed down again. He regained some strength and he spoke more confidently.

Until they finally came to the point where his statement would possibly tip the scales. He had to do! For his kids! For Kathy!

Elliot answered Alex' next question with a wildly pounding heart. Then he watched her.

She was turning, grabbing something from the prosecutor's desk and was about to address him again when she froze in her tracks.

"What did you say?" she blurted out as his words finally sank in.

tbc...

* * *

A/N: Oh, oh… look who snuck into this story, my friend Bobby and his partner. 


	22. Chapter 22

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, folks. :)

Oh, damn… I guess I just could not resist. :D The cameo might turn out to be more of a crossover. Let's see… :)

**22**

**Manhattan**

**Criminal Court**

**100 Centre Street**

Detective Alexandra Eames did not ask her partner why he wanted to attend another trial after he had finished his own testimony. She went with him because he kindly asked her to come along. Usually she did not know why he did strange things. His tangents were one of the reasons 99.9 percent of the NYPD believed him to be nuts in some ways. Some might also think he was a loose cannon. She knew better! And she knew that he would clue her in as soon as she grounded him again.

Okay, she did not always know how she did it, but it worked. As long as he was with her he remained focused… well, most of the time.

Right now he was watching the witness of the prosecution closely, leaning heavy in his seat, legs crossed and a frown wrinkling his forehead. Out of concentration, she knew. He would absorb every word, like a sponge, and analyze it.

Both the detectives saw the ADA return to her desk. She picked something up, turned back to the stand and… stood stock still.

"What did you say?" She sounded surprised. That was definitely not the answer she had expected.

Bobby Goren saw a slight blush flash to her face as she realized that she had given away her surprise. He leaned forward, arms resting on his notebook on his thighs. This could become interesting.

Alex saw her partner watch with growing discomfort. She also noticed the increasing annoyance of the ADA with her witness. Obviously she did not get what she wanted.

Suddenly Bobby sat back, nudged her side with his elbow and gave her a small cock of his head, requesting her to follow him. He already was up and left the courtroom.

"Do you know Detective Stabler?" he asked as soon as the door closed behind her.

"Just superficial. Why? Is something wrong?"

"He has family, hasn't he?"

"I guess you're right. But I'm not sure. You could ask his squad colleagues. There are some of them watching, too."

"I don't want to cause any attention." He looked around, searching for some familiar face. Then he got out his cell phone.

"Why?" Alex asked. "What's up here?"

He had dialed and waited for an answer… in vain. So he snapped the phone shut again.

"Okay, Bobby," Alex snapped. "What's going on?"

He bowed a bit to her and lowered his voice, "I just know two ways to make an officer swear a perjury… bribery… and blackmail."

Across his partner he spotted someone he knew and went for him at once.

"Counselor McCoy?!" he called to stop the prosecutor.

xxx

Olivia watched her partner closely. She was stunned. As was Alex, as she noticed. This was totally going down the wrong way.

What was the matter with Elliot?

"Detective Stabler, you cornered two of the suspects who fled the building. Tell me what happened next."

"I was able to follow two persons and stop them in a dead end alley where I kept them in check until more officers arrived and could arrest them."

Alex already stumbled over the phrasing 'follow two _persons_'. She pushed the thought aside and continued her questioning.

"Who were these people?"

"I can identify the defendants as the men who were arrested this night."

Alex looked at Elliot with a deepening frown.

"Can you specify that?"

Olivia saw Elliot draw a deep breath before he answered. Not for the first time he picked up the glass of water in front of him. Both unmistakable signs for his nervousness. He might be able to deceive the jury and even the honorable Judge Joanna McKellen, but she knew he was lying.

She had not been there when he cornered the men, but she knew what he had told her, had written in his report and had worked on as statement with Alex the previous Friday. This was a totally different version of the known facts.

Olivia glowered at him, but Elliot evaded her looks. What was going on?

"Liv?" Fin leaned in on her from the right. "What is he talking about?"

"I don't know, Fin," she whispered back.

"These are the men who attacked us. They almost killed both of us."

"I've never seen them and neither did you. You remember that?"

"Are you defending him? He told us from the start that he saw them shoot you and then run. He followed and hunted them down in this alley. He was absolutely certain that they were the perps."

"Yeah, Fin. I can't understand it either."

"…they were coming out of shadows and I cannot be sure that they were the same people who vanished in the dark before," Elliot said right then.

Alex was fuming. She felt rage well up inside of her and heat in her face. She prayed that she did not blush deeper and struggled to maintain her composure.

"How long did you lose sight of the men you were pursuing?"

"I don't know exactly. It may have been half a minute, not more."

"Half a minute. And you think that in this short time there may have been two other people who crossed the suspect's path?"

"Objection," the defense attorney called out, jumping on the train the witness offered.

Alex whipped her head around. She had feared that from the moment Elliot had talked about following several _persons_.

"Against what?" Judge McKellen asked when no reasons followed.

"Detective Stabler is not supposed to evaluate probabilities."

"Objection overruled," the judge said. "The prosecution just asked for his professional assessment. The witness will answer the question."

"We were leaving the premise which was subject of the raid, so it might absolutely be possible. I cannot exclude that there were other men than the ones I was following."

It was all Alex could do not to step forward and slap him in the face. She swallowed her rage and continued.

"Detective, are the men you have seen run from the scene present in the courtroom?"

"Objection!" the advocate shouted. "The witness already answered this question."

Judge McKellen nodded. "Objection granted."

Alex had to do… something. She was about to lose her most important witness.

"Detective Stabler, didn't you state in your report…" She never could finish.

"Objection! The prosecutor is trying to influence the witness."

This time Judge McKellen glared at the attorney, but she weighed her decision carefully. "Objection granted," she finally said. "Counselor Cabot, please stick to the facts."

Alex resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She frantically thought about how to rephrase her question.

"Detective, would you please tell the prosecution what you have written in your report considering the arrest of the defendants?"

"Objection!"

"Your Honor," Alex pleaded. "The prosecution needs to show that the statement of Detective Stabler contradicts the report in question. He was involved in the arrest as well as in the following interrogation."

"Objection overruled. The report belongs to the presented files. Answer the question," Judge McKellen ordered Elliot.

"In my report I stated that the men I followed up to the alley were the men I saw attack Detectives Benson and Tutuola," Elliot said.

"Just a minute ago you told us otherwise. Will you please give us the reasons for your statement?"

"I have reasonable doubt that the defendants are the same men I first followed. I could have been running after different persons," Elliot answered without hesitation.

"What?!" Olivia burst out. "Are you kidding?"

Murmurs swept through the gallery.

Judge McKellen banged her gavel. "Order!" she intoned. "Order in this court!"

"Your Honor…" Olivia said.

"I won't allow you to disturb my courtroom. If you don't sit down quietly I'll have to hold you in contempt."

Olivia thumped back in her seat. Fin grabbed her hand, pressing it reassuringly.

"Detective Stabler," Judge McKellen turned to him. "I remind you that you are testifying under oath."

"I know, Your Honor." Elliot looked up at her almost innocently. "I just can say that I have to revoke what I said earlier. I was under pressure because of the attack on my colleagues. But I can't incriminate men who I can't identify positively."

Olivia felt as if she was going to get a heart attack. Fin squeezed her hand so hard that it hurt. And as she looked at Alex she saw that the ADA also slightly swayed under the impact of Elliot's words.

Alex could not believe her ears. She knew what had happened. She heard it more than once. She had read the interrogation reports and the forensics report. The weapons which were used to shoot at Olivia and Fin were found alongside the trail Elliot had chased the men. He had seen them throw the guns away. But he had to testify to it!

A court usher stepped up to the Judge's desk and put down a note. Judge McKellen took it and studied it carefully.

"The court will recess for five minutes." She banged once with her gavel and raised, as did everyone with her, to leave for her room.

xxx

Elliot's stomach dropped as the judge left the courtroom. He did not know if he should be relieved or terrified. As he sat down again he scanned the gallery for the man in the dark suit. He saw him with a cell phone in his hand. The man was not dialing right now but the threat was all too clear for the detective.

Then Elliot noticed that Goren and Eames were gone again.

_Coincidence_, he thought. _Has nothing to do with the interruption_.

As his gaze met with Alex's his hairs stood on end… once more. The prosecutor sat at her table again and glowered at him menacingly.

_And there still is the cross_. He sighed inwardly and looked at Olivia and Fin. _They don't look happy either. Why should they? I just betrayed my partner. How can I ever work with her again? How can she ever trust me again?_

Right then Judge McKellen returned. Everyone raised and sat down again as she did.

Judge McKellen studied some papers she had brought with herself, looked at her calendar and finally looked up to the courtroom.

"Due to circumstances which are not related to this trial the court has to adjourn until tomorrow, nine a.m. Thank you." Once again she banged her gavel and left.

Blood rushed in Elliot's ears. He was not able to stand up when the judge passed the stand. His insides churned and he felt a sudden sickness contract his stomach.

"Detective Stabler! I want to talk to you, right now." Assistant District Attorney Alexandra Cabot was fuming.

He knew it. He had foreseen it. But he could not give a damn… at least not now.

Right now he had to run for the next restroom if he did not want to puke in the middle of the courtroom.

He pushed Olivia and Fin aside who tried to get hold of him and ran. He rushed down the hall and disappeared through the door for _Men_. In the last booth he fell to his knees and spread the remains of his meager breakfast over the porcelain.

When everything was spilled and he just coughed, shaking and freezing despite of the beautiful summer day, he sank down to the ground, squatting in the corner of the booth. Fresh tears threatened to fall.

At the same time he remembered Barry's warning. More than five minutes and… Oh no! He did not even want to fathom what might happen then.

Backwards he tried to get up again to no avail. He was too shaken. Silently he was glad that he was alone in the restroom. He had expected Fin to follow him. Perhaps even Olivia as furious as she had been. But there was no one.

Yet, he felt watched.

As he looked up towards the door he saw Bobby Goren leaning against it, turning the lock.

tbc…


	23. Chapter 23

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews folks. I want to thank all readers, reviewers, and the folks who put me on their alert or favorite list. Thanks! And maybe you'll find out now about phony traces… :D

Special thanks to _Confused One_ for pointing out some difficulties, to _Infinity Star_ for beta reading this chapter and her great advise, and to _Bammi1_ for "saving" me.

This one's for _Iluvstabler_. Hope you'll have a nice time on your trip!

Enjoy, all of you. :)

**23**

Bobby saw the brows over his fellow detective's sapphire eyes draw together and wondered if his suspicions were justified. Well, he seldom was wrong in his profiles.

Elliot scrambled backwards to his feet, his stance becoming tense and aggressive.

The moment Bobby opened his mouth to ask something Elliot turned from pale to crimson, ready to launch himself at the major case detective.

"Never seen a grown man throw up?" Elliot hissed, wiping his mouth with a paper towel.

"Is something wrong?" Bobby wanted to know.

"No! What makes you think something's wrong? I guess it was something I ate." He opened a faucet and washed his hands and mouth. "And I don't think that locking us in is funny," he added, pointing at the door.

"I was just pretending," Bobby said. "I thought we could talk in private."

"We _can't_ talk in private," Elliot snarled half afraid, yet half wishing Bobby would notice his predicament. "Besides, talk about what? My upset stomach?"

"Maybe about the reason your stomach's upset…"

"Whatever was wrong with my breakfast is none of your business," Elliot snarled. Then he turned back to the basin.

"Sorry, I should have kept my stupid mouth shut," Bobby said lightly to defuse Elliot's anger. He turned to the toilets. "How are your kids?"

The innocent question made Elliot stiffen up. He was glad his hand was closing the faucet when he swayed unsteadily from the impact of Bobby's words. Drawing in slow, deep breaths, he tried to steady himself, but it didn't work. When he looked up and saw his face in the mirror his stomach threatened to turn again.

xxx

Enrique answered his phone._ "Okay, Ramón, what's up?"_

"He's in the restroom...no, Enrique...How should I know what's going on? The guy started puking like hell when the judge adjourned the session."

"_Why didn't you follow him?"_

"I couldn't. Way too many cops. His partner and the other, Tutu-something, tried to get in the restroom, but he must have blocked the door. They could not get in."

"_Spare me __the shit and get your ass in there!"_

"I don't see how, right now. And his buddies will be all over him when he comes out."

"_He'__ll shake them off."_

"I'm not sure. He doesn't sound so good…"

"_What do you mean?"_

"Well, there's nothing to hear right now except of him, puking, coughing, sobbing. He's probably at the end of his tether."

"_He knows what we will do to his wife and kids if he doesn't show up again."_

"It's possible that the adjournment was the straw that broke the camel's back. And it wasn't his fault. He did great on the stand. Something else must have happened. They called the judge out and when she came back she announced the adjournment."

Barry was thinking for a moment then he started his own equipment.

That was when Ramón heard them talking. He listened a moment and then Barry said,

"_If he doesn't come out in the next few minutes, call me back. I'm not giving him more time than that. He doesn't show up… then we'll rape his beloved Kathy. Call. He has four minutes."_

"Yeah, sure." The man ended the call and continued to watch the small crowd in front of the restroom.

xxx

Elliot jumped when his cell phone vibrated against his thigh. He had changed the alarm to silent mode before he had to testify. With shaking hands he pulled it out of the pocket and answered the incoming call.

"Stabler."

"_I know you're in the restroom," Barry hissed. "__And I can see you're not alone!"_

_What?!_ Elliot was beyond shivering, he froze and was hardly able to even take a breath. _How can he…?_

"_Didn't I tell you that there's a camera coming along with the bug?" he sneered. "Mention a word to this guy with the dark curls and he'll die. Don't try tricks! You know what will happen."_

"Yeah, I know." Elliot's voice was low and toneless. Dark curls… it was clear that Barry could see Bobby. Bobby Goren, major case's star detective. Elliot did not know much about him, but his perceptiveness was legendary. He had to avoid raising his curiosity.

"_I know you've thrown up. It's over now. So pull yourself together and get out of there. Now!" He paused and continued when Elliot did not answer, "__And as for your lovely Kathy… she told me she's looking forward to being with a _real_ man_..._"_

Elliot was frozen in place. Still his heart was in his throat. _Oh Lord, I know. Please don't…_

"_I won't give you more time, Elliot. You have two minutes. Move it!"_

"Yeah, okay, I will…" he mumbled. Then he snapped the phone closed.

"You should see a doctor," Bobby said from behind him. "You look like crap."

"Oh, thanks," Elliot replied sarcastically. "I feel so much better now! Just mind your own business, okay."

With that he squeezed himself past Bobby and through the door, leaving behind a very thoughtful Bobby Goren.

xxx

Elliot stepped from one hell into another when he passed the door. Whatever strength he thought he had gathered, it was instantly forgotten as Fin approached him, his face filled with fury. Olivia gave him a dangerous look, one he had never seen before.

Elliot felt tears sting his eyes and fought them back.

"You insolent liar!" Fin spat into his face. "How dare you let down your partner this…"

That was it. All his fears and pain were turned into rage and Fin was stopped by Elliot's fist.

"Elliot!" Olivia shrieked and her own fist connected hard with his face. She felt a sharp pain in her wrist and drew it in toward her chest, cradling it against her as physical and emotional pain brought tears to her eyes.

Elliot dropped to his knees, stunned.

"Hey, what's going on here?" a guard shouted as he approached the group.

"Nothing," Elliot mumbled and scrambled to his feet. Looking past the guard he spotted Alex Cabot and turned on his heels to flee her.

"Elliot! Wait!"

Olivia was right behind him, reaching out for him with her good hand.

"Damn you!" she yelled. "Why did you lie? Not one thing you said on the stand was true!"

She shrank back when he turned to her and she saw his eyes spreading fire.

"Leave me alone, Benson!" he barked. "Don't blame _me_ for what _you_ don't understand!"

Taken aback she froze in place and let him run. _Benson_? He had not called her _Benson_ since early in their partnership, except when introducing her or discussing her with others.

Alex appeared at her right side, Fin at her left.

"Did he hurt you?" Fin asked, indicating her hand.

_Just emotionally_, she thought, _and that hurts badly_. "I did myself when I hit him," she said.

"What the hell happened over the weekend?" Alex wondered. "I don't recognize him. He can be impulsive and hot-tempered… but this?"

"Something is wrong." Olivia shook her head. "I just don't know what."

xxx

"Elliot!" someone shouted after him. "Elliot!"

He recognized his captain's voice, but still, he did not stop.

"Stabler! Stop--right now!"

The captain was progressing from annoyed to outright pissed, and he couldn't ignore that. So he stopped and waited for his captain to reach him.

"Come with me," Cragen grumbled, leading the way to Alex' office.

All the way along the corridor Elliot racked his brain what he should tell his superior. When they reached the office, Alex was waiting there, and Elliot knew he was in trouble. Cragen's brows were as deeply furrowed as the ADA's.

"Explain yourself," the captain demanded as Alex dropped into her chair.

"What do I have to explain?" Elliot grumbled. "What did I do wrong?"

Captain Cragen sat upright, his body tense. He felt the rage boil up from deep inside.

"What did you say?"

"I want to know what I did wrong."

It was all Cragen could do not to explode. His blood pressure rose and he knew Elliot could see the rage in his face.

"Well, let's start with your testimony!" Alex pushed.

"I did what I should have done from the start," Elliot declared and was astonished at himself, not only because the idea just struck him but also because it sounded as if he truly believed what he said.

"Should have done what?"

"Told the truth…" God, he hated that. He yearned to grab one of the papers and at least write them a message as he could not talk with them… yet, the thought of the camera held him back. To pick it from his jacket and stuff it into a pocket also was no solution and could only cause hurt.

Cragen ground his teeth. "What do you want to tell us, Stabler? That you lied to us before? The entire case is built on your statement!"

"Maybe Cabot shouldn't have done that."

"You and CSU gave me the evidence," Alex exploded. "You wrote the report and gave your statement! Are you trying to tell us that you lied?!"

"I did not lie! I told you what I saw! You know... seeing Liv and Fin injured...and all the pressure that followed... I convinced myself that was the way it happened. I never consciously lied to you!"

"Elliot!"

"Let me finish this…!" Elliot felt his insides constrict as he forced the lie over his lips. "What I did was wrong… but it was not the testimony today. It was what I did before. This is my last chance to set it right."

"You believe they're innocent?" It was all Alex could do to keep her voice from breaking.

"I didn't say that. I know they did it." He paused, giving them time to object. "But I could not just tell half the truth. I don't like it, but I can't deny them a fair trial."

All his insides ached. His muscles were hard and his stomach was tied in so many knots he couldn't breathe. But all he could think of were his kids and the lies that would keep them alive.

Cragen watched him. He had known Elliot for years. What he saw and heard convinced him. He believed what his detective told him. Nevertheless, he still felt that something was very wrong. It was a tiny thought in the back of his mind he could not quite grasp and it retreated further as he listened to Elliot.

"Why didn't you tell me when we were preparing your statement on Friday?" Alex asked. "We spent hours working on it... Why, Elliot?"

He looked down at his shoes, feeling heat in his cheeks.

"Because I want them in jail," Elliot said tightly. "They hurt my best friends and I want them to be punished for what they did. But then on Sunday, I began to really think about it."

"We weren't prepared," Alex said. "We're going to lose this case."

"I know."

"So why didn't you come to me earlier? I felt like an idiot in there, Elliot!"

He could understand her anger. He would be angry, too. Hell! He _was_ angry, no, furious!

"Elliot! I'm talking to you!" Still she got no reaction. "The defense would never have been able to tear us apart like that. If Judge McKellen hadn't been called away for a family emergency…!"

"I can't believe you've done that, Elliot," Cragen said, sounding gutted. "We'll talk about that later. You'll ride a desk till I decide otherwise."

"Yes, sir," Elliot replied.

"Okay, you can go," Alex added. "We see each other here tomorrow morning, 8 a.m."

"Right," Elliot confirmed and left.

Coming out of the office he literally ran into Fin again.

"Fin!" he yelled. "Damn!"

"Damn you!" Fin screamed back. "I'm not finished with you! What were you thinking!"

"That I'm right!"

"What?!" Olivia's voice broke. "Say that again!"

"I'm right, okay!" Elliot roared. "It hurts me, too, but I would have lied on the stand if I had not changed my statement."

Olivia gasped.

"It hurts you?!" Fin yelled. "I'll show you what hurts!"

With that he grabbed Elliot's jacket and threw his colleague against the wall, driving his fist into Elliot's gut.

"You insolent liar!" Fin screamed, hitting him again.

Fin's attack was unexpected, driving the wind from Elliot's lungs. He gasped for breath, his stomach on fire. "Fin!" he managed. But his friend hit him once again.

_No._ Elliot could not contain himself anymore. He raised his arms to give Fin a shove and swung in retaliation. Now they were fighting.

"Stop!" Olivia screamed. "No! Stop it!"

The office's door flew open and Cragen and Alex appeared under the doorframe.

"Elliot!" Cragen shouted. He launched himself at his detective to hold him back, and Olivia rushed forward to help him. They managed to separate them. Breathing hard, Fin and Elliot glared at each other, each of them still enraged.

"Fin!" Cragen declared. "You're on desk duty. Elliot!" he turned to him, "you're suspended."

"What!?" Elliot gasped.

"I won't repeat myself. Give me your badge and your gun."

Elliot could only stare at him, his body would not work. His eyes darted to Olivia, to Fin, to Alex and back to his captain. Over Cragen's shoulder he spotted the guy with the hat and he shivered.

"Elliot!"

For just a second Elliot closed his eyes, taking a shaky breath.

"You want my badge?!" he grumbled, fumbling it from his jacket. "Here. I don't want it anymore." And he threw it forcefully onto the ground, right in front of Cragen's feet. Then he pulled his gun out of its holster and handed it over. "See you tomorrow, Alex," he said to the counselor, then he turned and strode down the hall.

As Olivia shook off her rigor, she fell in a trot to follow him, only to run into Bobby, who appeared out of nowhere.

"Hey, Bobby!" Fin yelled at his former partner. "Watch your step!"

"Sorry," Bobby mumbled, lightly but firmly grabbing Olivia's upper arms to steady her, but he also held her back.

"Let go of me!" she shrieked, hitting his chest, and he backed off.

"Olivia, wait!" Cragen called out to her.

"I can't let him get away with that," she replied angrily.

"We can't talk with him right now," Cragen said. "Let him calm down first."

Suddenly it occurred to Olivia that her captain sounded strange, he also looked a bit pale, staring down at the floor. Everyone followed his look and froze at the sight.

Alex clapped her hand over her mouth to keep herself from gasping.

Fin was disgusted.

Olivia paled at first, then rage rose hot and sore.

And Bobby just raised one brow in astonishment. _Someone's been really thorough,_ he thought.

On the tiles lay Elliot's badge, the gold shield next to the leather sheath, revealing a bugging device.

tbc…


	24. Chapter 24

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews folks.

Special thanks to _Iluvstabler_ for providing me with a great line… :D

Also special thanks to my beta reader. :)

**24**

**Criminal Court**

**100 Centre Street**

Out on the street in front of the court building Elliot stumbled over the pavement. He did not notice the traffic and he did not notice that he was almost run over by a van. So he also hardly noticed the hands which pulled him back just in time.

"Watch where you're going, Elliot," someone hissed.

Then he was pushed forward till he bounced against a car. The door locks snapped open.

"Get in," he was ordered.

When he did not react the man behind him grabbed for the handle and pulled the door open.

"Get in!"

So Elliot dropped into the passenger seat. He was vaguely aware that it was his own car. So the man had taken his keys when he shoved him over here.

"Give me your belt."

Now Elliot looked up and recognized the guy with the hat. His insides constricted at once. Fear clawed at his heart.

"Give me your belt!" the man barked. He only had a slight Spanish accent.

"What for?" Elliot mumbled.

"Don't ask! Give me the damned thing!"

Reluctantly Elliot opened the belt and got it out of the loops. The Latino took it, wound it around Elliot's wrists and pulled it tight. Then he closed the door and rounded the car to get in on the other side. He put the key into the ignition and started.

While the car was filing through the traffic Elliot would have had time to think, but he could hardly focus on where they went, let alone complex problem solving. Everything was blurred, a devastating whirlwind of thoughts he could not grasp.

They reached the bridge when a cell phone rang. Ramón answered it. He was curt and finished the call barely a minute later.

"He's in a bad mood," he said but got no answer. So he just drove.

xxx

"I'll go back to the precinct," Cragen declared, picking up the badge and putting it into his inner jacket pocket. "You go and take care of the new case you've got. Keep Alex and me in the loop."

"Yeah," Fin confirmed.

All of them followed Cragen with their eyes when he went down the hall.

"Oh my God," Olivia finally breathed. "A bug in his badge? What the hell is a bug doing in his badge?"

"Keeping him under surveillance," Fin grumbled.

"What? But why?" Olivia was so mixed up by their discovery that she did not see the obvious.

"Because they forced him to change his statement," Alex said. "Why didn't we notice?"

"You were annoyed because you felt betrayed," Bobby threw in. "And that's a normal reaction."

"Normal?" Olivia snapped.

"You did not understand what he was doing because you lacked information. His actions hurt you and made you angry," Bobby explained. "It's not a pretty thought, but it was your right to be annoyed."

"Why is this your business anyway?" she yelled. "Who asked for your opinion?!"

"Olivia," Fin tried to calm her. "It's not his fault."

"It's okay, Fin," Bobby murmured. "The bearer of bad news always gets the blame."

"I wonder how it got there," Olivia mumbled. "He always wears his badge when he's on duty. When should someone have had an opportunity to put it in?"

"How about this weekend?" Fin grumbled.

Olivia raised one brow questioningly. "When he was at the zoo?"

"Maybe he never went there…" Fin said.

"What are you implying?" Olivia gasped.

"He said they wanted to go to the zoo… but who's telling us that they actually went. Maybe they could not. Think of John."

"What's up with…" she trailed off when realization hit. "He stopped by at Elliot's."

"Yeah. And since then nobody has seen him. We just called when he told us about his conspiracy friend. For all we know, he can still be in Queens."

"Oh my God." Alex was shaken to the core. "You really think someone's threatening him?"

"His family," Olivia said tonelessly. "That's the only way they could get to him, his family, his kids. _Family's everything_, he uses to say. If it was just him being threatened, he would have no problem telling someone else, but if they're threatening his family... Elliot would do virtually anything they are telling him to do to keep his family safe." She turned to Bobby who remained silent. "What did you notice? And why did _you_ notice it?"

"Nervousness, a very irritated counselor…" he said and shrugged lopsidedly. "I'm not involved in the case. I watched him open minded."

That was when Alex Eames came down the hall to join the group. Bobby looked at her expectantly.

"He met a guy outside who looked Hispanic," she simply said. "A lean guy, dark suit, hat. I just saw his backside. They went to a parked car and drove away."

"Who was driving?" Bobby asked.

"The Hispano. License is from New York, KES-419."

"That's Elliot's car," Olivia said. She bit her lower lip. "What have we done? We just got mad at him. Nobody ever thought of asking if something was wrong."

Actually she was still shocked.

"I can't believe it… I have betrayed him. When he needed me most I let him down." Her voice trailed off.

"We're making up for it now," Fin tried to encourage her. "We'll get them out of this."

"Yes, we will," she answered with new determination. "These guys will curse the day they had the idea to take it on with us."

"That's my girl," Fin grinned. "You're gonna help us?" he turned to Alex and Bobby.

"We don't want to butt in," Bobby replied, raising his hands defensively. "We know it's your turf."

Fin exchanged glances with Olivia and Alex Cabot. Both women nodded.

"We invite you to," he said.

xxx

**Forensic laboratories**

Mac Taylor was surprised to see captain Cragen enter his office. He was even more surprised when the captain put one finger over his lips to indicate he remain silent.

Then Mac's eyes widened when Cragen put the badge down on his desk. He just needed this one look to know what stuck between shield and leather

_Wow_, was all he could think of. _Whoever did this is taking no chances._

It did not appear to be active anymore, but he would check this first. So Mac picked it up and went straight to the video lab.

"Nice little fellow," he said to Cragen a few minutes later. "Really. Whose badge is it?"

"Detective Elliot Stabler's."

Mac nodded thoughtfully. "There was someone really interested in the trial. I can't believe that Stabler participated in that."

"I don't think that he did it voluntarily…" Cragen replied.

"You believe he was forced to do it? Interesting. What are they hoping for anyways? The hearing is public."

"I rather think that Elliot was the one they wanted to keep eye and ear on."

Now Mac looked up at the SVU captain, raising one eyebrow, pausing for a moment with his examination.

"This thing is quite effective. A good and expensive item. It certainly has a wide operating distance."

"Which they would definitely need to survey him."

Mac nodded. "Whoever planted this in Stabler's badge is an expert."

He connected some wires and turned on a TV screen. There they could now see the video lab and themselves.

"Great solution!" Mac said. "I'll try to find out where these parts came from and let you know as soon as possible."

"Thanks."

"You're welcome."

xxx

**Queens**

Little did Elliot know that his predicament finally was discovered. He sat slumped into the passenger seat of his own SUV, staring out of the window and letting his thoughts roam.

"He really is annoyed with you," Ramón said when they were just a few streets away from Elliot's home.

"Can't change it…" Elliot mumbled without turning to him.

"Suspended… Why did you do that?"

"You think I did it deliberately?" His voice was toneless as he spoke to the window.

"It looked like that."

Elliot did not bother to tell him that it had not been deliberate. He continued brooding.

When Ramón pulled the car up in the driveway, Elliot looked up. Silently he held his bound hands out to the Hispano.

"Someone could see it," he said when the man hesitated. "Stubborn, not stupid."

Ramón just stared at him.

"I won't try anything," Elliot assured him. When the man opened the belt he withstood the urge to rub his wrists. He shoved the door open and got out.

His view fell over the driveway on the street and his heart started to pound wildly. There was a patrol car! He forced himself to turn to the house. Chills ran down his spine and he breathed hard. To yell after it for help was a bad idea. His wild imagination provided him with thundering shots and death screams of his family. Rounding the front-end of the SUV he glanced at the patrol car again. It was passing in moderate speed and vanished a few seconds later.

Elliot choked. One look at the front door and he was scared.

He hated this feeling. He hated to be helpless! He could not help his family and that drove him mad!

"C'mon," Ramón said, gesturing him to go ahead.

Elliot did as he was told. It felt strange to put the key into the lock. He swallowed. A light push against his back made him move and they stepped in.

Ramón had hardly closed the door when Barry stormed up to them. Before Elliot could react the leader's hand closed around his chin.

"Down on your knees," Barry hissed.

Reflexively Elliot had grabbed Barry's wrist and forearm.

"Let go," Barry snarled. "Let go and go down on your knees!"

The venom in these words made Elliot stiffen up. His grip loosened and he let his hands drop. But still he could not move.

Barry's grip tightened like a vice. He leaned forward to hiss into Elliot's ear, "Last warning… move!"

Slowly Elliot obeyed. As Barry did not let go of him, his head was bent back, when he sank down on his knees. Elliot stared up at him with blatant rage.

Bowing down to speak directly into his ear again, Barry said, "If I were you I'd be careful what to do." He felt Elliot shiver with fury and his attempt to get away from him. So he hardened his grip even more. From Ramón he got Elliot's belt.

Elliot saw it and grabbed for Barry's arm again, trying to escape. It earned him a hard slap across the face that threw him sideways to the floor.

"I'll teach you," Barry roared. "You have to submit, Elliot. Don't you ever get it?" Seizing him back up on the shoulder he pulled the sling of the belt over his head.

Elliot gasped as the leather tightened around his neck. In a matter of seconds he found himself on his knees in a merciless clasp. Barry had wound the belt around his left hand for better grip, holding it tightly, his right arm wrapped around Elliot's neck. Elliot grabbed the forearm over his throat and reared. It was a hopeless fight. He could not get on his feet and Barry nipped his attempts in the bud by pressing even harder.

"I know," Barry whispered next to his ear. "I know you're scared. It's scary and uncomfortable."

Once more Elliot tried to get rid of him, but to no avail.

"It's for your own good, you know. If you could move you could try to attack us which might lead to someone getting shot… most likely someone you love… or yourself. You don't want _that_ to happen, do you?"

"No," Elliot croaked. He could barely breathe.

"I was sure you'd agree…" Barry sneered. "We have to ensure that your buddies don't become too high-spirited. So we have to take precautions."

"What?" Elliot choked out.

"You'll see. Just behave, okay."

It was not as if Elliot would have had another choice. He was effectively immobilized. He cold not see Barry nodding to his companions, but these men he could see pretty good. Being trapped in their leader's brutal embrace, he wished for a hole that would open beneath him and he could vanish into. It was terribly abasing to be absolutely dependent on Barry's mercy. Now as they all stood and stared at him, at least all their sunglasses were fixed on him, he felt so humiliated that he would not have been able to put it into words.

One moment later he saw Dickie come down the stairs.

"Dad!" the boy sobbed and started to run to him. He was caught by one of the man. "Let go!" Dickie screamed, kicking fervently. "I want my Dad!"

Barry, too, had to enforce his grip, even if it was a halfhearted attempt to escape.

It hurt Elliot to know his son was in the arms of one of these men. He wanted to protect him, but he did not know how…

Then he spotted Kathy. She was walking downstairs followed by another masked man. There was no bruises to see from the beating. Actually she looked quite good considering the situation. Yet, when he looked up and met her eyes, he saw that they were clouded.

"The girls are alright," she whispered tonelessly.

The simple statement made Elliot gasp. In a split second he realized what she really meant.

The next split second saw him explode. He clawed at Barry's head, punching backwards, once more trying to get on his feet again. His rage gave him power and he screamed.

Barry was caught by surprise. He had not expected Elliot to resist after all. So he was hit hard and lost his grip. Elliot noticed it at once and grabbed his neck to bend forward and throw him over his shoulder. Barry landed on his back, the impact driving the wind from his lungs. Elliot jumped to his feet, ready to fight.

"You bastards!" he screamed, kicking at Barry and hitting him twice before he rolled himself out of reach. "I did what you told me! Why did you do that to her?"

He was quickly surrounded by black masked men, who did their best to catch the punching and kicking detective. As a matter of fact, Elliot never had a chance. They took hold of his limbs and forced him to the ground, pinning him to the floor with their weight. He bucked and reared as much as he could, what was not very much anymore with one man on each of his limbs.

Barry scrambled to his feet. He stood over Elliot's upper body, his triangular glasses staring down at the helpless detective, who was lying on his back, virtually been nailed.

"Wow," Barry acknowledged. "You've still got some spunk left."

With that he knelt down, his knees on Elliot's shoulders, to come to sit on his chest. He felt the tension of the muscles beneath him.

"Say goodbye to Richard and Katherine," Barry sneered. "They're going on a field trip."

"Don't," Elliot croaked. "Let them stay."

"No can do, Elliot."

"You can." Elliot turned his head to the side to avoid Dickie's look, but he felt his gaze on himself. "Please…"

Barry shook his head. "No." Then he turned to his men. "Go. You know what to do."

"Si," one of them answered and, together with Ramón, he guided mother and son out.

"Nooo…" Elliot did not care that his desperation was clearly audible in his voice. When they separated them now… "Please, nooo…!"

But the door closed and they were gone.

"Noooo…" Elliot sobbed. His heart ached so much that he thought it was on fire. He knew that the only way to keep contact with Ramón would be the phone. When there was just one call not answered… He pushed the thought away. There was no way he could cross this line.

"Pull yourself together!" Barry became annoyed and grabbed Elliot's chin. "Big detective won't cry, will he?!"

His teeth bared and his eyes radiating rage, Elliot stared up at his tormentor.

"Now we'll talk!" Barry snarled. "You'll tell me what went wrong."

"Nothing went wrong," Elliot grumbled as well as he could with his jaw in the human vice. "The judge was called out due to a family emergency."

"I could live with the judge…" Barry frowned under his mask. "What I can't believe is that you got yourself suspended!"

"I didn't…"

"And who the hell is this dark curly-haired detective you were talking with in the restroom?" Barry cut him short.

"Just a colleague. I hardly know him."

"Then it was nice of you to save his life." He let go of his chin, straightening up on his chest.

Elliot groaned.

"Your own doing, Elliot," Barry teased. "You had to be defiant, so you have to live with the consequences."

"C… can I see…?"

"No!" Barry taunted before Elliot could ask for his girls. "You can't. You'll be lucky if I let you see them for dinner."

"Please…" Lord, he hated that. Why did he sound so desperate?

"The answer is NO," Barry insisted.

Maybe because he _was_ desperate.

"Has someone seen the bug?" Barry wanted to know.

Elliot swallowed. "I don't know," he whispered. With Barry sitting on his chest he could hardly breathe. "I haven't."

"So let's hope for your family that no one else has." He got up and gestured his men to release Elliot. Bowing down he grabbed the belt that still was wrapped around Elliot's neck and held it directly behind the loop. Elliot choked.

"C'mon, chico," Barry teased, pulling at the belt.

Elliot had difficulties in getting up, but Barry showed no mercy. He did not care if the belt was closing tighter. He just pulled and pushed till Elliot was up on his feet again.

"We're going down to John to continue our talk," Barry said and shoved him to the stairs. With a jerk on the belt he stopped his captive just before they passed the door. He leaned in to him and hissed into his ear,

"We'll keep you out of mischief. You can be sure of that."

* * *

tbc… 


	25. Chapter 25

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews folks. Thanks a lot:)

Special thanks to _JO_. ;) You're crazy… a very nice sort of crazy. LOL Thanks also for the advice and beta-reading. :D This chapter's for you. :D

**25**

**unknown location**

In the back of a van, Dickie Stabler clung to his mother. He was shivering with fear. The memories of his Dad rose: first in the clasp of this masked monster, then fighting, then forced to the ground, defeated, helpless, vulnerable.

Dickie felt sick. He did his best to keep it at bay. The last thing he wanted to do was to puke in front of those creeps. He had to be the man now. He had to protect his mom.

_How am I supposed to do that?_ he wondered. _Not even Dad was strong enough to stand up to them. There are just too many. He can't take them out!_

He strengthened his grip on Kathy's clothes, so she held him tighter in return.

Kathy was scared, too, and rightly so. She also was in pain, but she would not tell anybody. How could she? When they made it out of this nightmare, she would go to the hospital and that would be it. No way she could tell Elliot. Yet, she suspected that he knew nevertheless.

_He stared at him as if he'd kill him right away. God! When he wriggled free and kicked him I thought, that's it, now they'll shoot us._

A solitary tear trickled down her cheek.

_Oh, Elliot, please play their game. The girls are all alone upstairs. You have to take care of them now._

_Our girls._ A shudder washed over her. _These are our kids, the fruits of our love. When did it vanish? What happened with us? What's making you so angry?_

Instinctively she tightened her grip on her son even more.

"Mom?" he asked. "Are you okay?"

"I'm okay," she lied. "Sh… just thought of your Dad."

That brought fresh tears to his eyes.

"I want to be with him," he whined. "What will they do to him? What will they do with my sisters?"

Kathy had no answer for him. She could only guess… and hope and pray that they would not be hurt.

_Will they let him go to look after them? Or will they keep him downstairs again? Then they would be all alone with at least one of these men. Three girls alone… penned in that room like sheep they would be easy prey for prowling wolves._

She sighed.

"Mom?"

_He sounds worried… no, scared._ She berated herself because she revealed her fear to him. _I have to be strong for him. We need to remain calm… and maybe even alert… alert for a possibility to escape._

Her thoughts trailed back to Elliot.

_I know you can live through this. Lord, if you just would be alone. I hate this thought, Elliot, but it's true… If you would be alone, you could decide more freely._ She shuddered. _I hate this even more, but… you would fight them if you'd be alone, wouldn't you El?_

This thought corded up her throat. An icy hand seemed to squeeze her heart.

_Will I lose you, El? Will we lose you? Will we die?_

Kathy could not find an answer. She just knew what she could expect from her husband under normal circumstances… just that these were no normal circumstances. Elliot was a proud man, ready to fight for his family and what he believed in. Only when they were safe would he fight for himself.

_I've seen it,_ she thought miserably. _I've seen it in his eyes… this desperation. If they continue like this, they might break him._

Dickie felt her trembling. He turned to her and saw tears run down her cheeks.

"Mom?" Now his voice was shaking.

In her embrace he wriggled around to hug her in return. Kathy began to pray in low murmurs which were also meant to calm down her son. So they sat on the floor of the loading space of the van that carried them toward an unknown location and an uncertain destiny.

xxx

**Manhattan**

**SVU**

"What did Taylor say?" Fin wanted to know when their captain returned.

"That this little spy ware not only delivered sound but also included a camera," Cragen answered. "Whoever put it in Elliot's badge…"

"So Munch was right for once!" Fin yelled, punching air with his right. "Damn! Why's he always gotta be right? It's not as if we don't have enough problems already, is it?"

Bobby laid one hand calmingly on his former partner's shoulder. For now it worked.

"God, and we just thought that John was telling spook stories again." Olivia was choking on the words. Too hurting was the realization.

"Still, we were trying to find out if relatives of Pablo Mendoza came to New York," Fin said. "So far there's no trace of them."

"Maybe we were looking at the wrong places," Olivia mused.

"And maybe we'd need more men on this… it's just the two of us."

"Now, we have to find proof for our theory," Cragen stopped them.

As if on cue Henderson gestured them, shouting, "Call for you on line 5, Olivia!"

"Thanks," she replied, picking up her phone. "Benson."

She listened for a moment and her expression became grim. She thanked the man on the other end of the line and put the receiver down on the cradle forcefully.

"Don't kill the phone," Fin teased.

"The patrol car we asked to check on El's house? They were passing just when he came home. The Latino was with him and it looked as if they were going in."

"So, Elliot's together with a Latino… which proves… what?"

"That he's in trouble!" Olivia exploded. "Captain! What more do we need? Isn't that proof enough?"

"Yeah," Fin grumbled. "Together with the bug… and that Munch is missing since the afternoon. He'll still be at Elliot's."

"If we should call? He was on the phone last night. Alex was talking with him."

Thoughtful silence met her last words.

She drifted off to memories:

His mischievous grin when he bid her goodbye that night in the car… Why did she have to think of it now? _You're just gonna sit here all night until I do, aren't you? Stubborn son of a bitch!_ she had said. _Yes, I am,_ he had answered playfully, still grinning like the Cheshire cat. He wanted to protect her. As she wanted to protect him… And she had failed miserably.

They could not discuss about calling Elliot, because just then, Taylor came bustling into the squad room. Without bothering to greet them, he said excitedly, "I was on my way home, but I knew you'd want to see this."

He dropped a stack of computer printouts on the desk and began flipping through them as he summarized what they meant.

"I traced the serial number to a manufacturer. That camera was part of a lot of twenty sent to a distributor in Michigan." He flipped to the next page in his packet and said, "That distributor does most of his business on eBay. The camera was sold to a guy named BarryBuye."

Taylor flipped the page again. "This is a copy of the shipping invoice. The seller is a retired cop turned security expert and was only too happy to help. You can see the camera was delivered to a PO box here in New York."

"Ok, Goren, Fin, get to work on finding this Barry guy. Olivia, call Alex and get a court order for the name and home address of the renter of that P.O. box."

"Hold on," Taylor said, and flipped to the next page in his packet. "BarryBuye paid with a Visa card. He's an authorized user on someone else's account."

"Please tell me you know who that someone else is," Cragen asked anxiously.

Taylor nodded, flipped to the last page in his packet of papers and handed them over to Cragen. It was a print out of a credit card account statement. The name at the top was Pedro Moreno.

xxx

**Queens**

Maureen tried in vain to get her sisters back to play. The shock of being separated from their mother was deep.

_Where's Dad?_ Maureen tried to hold on to the fact that he was a cop. He could control this situation. He would help them.

"Maur, I'm scared," Kat whined, snuggling up to her. Their younger sister Lizzie already clung to her desperately.

"I know." She wanted nothing more than to find comforting words for them, but she could not. Not even a prayer came to her mind. So she just started to hum in a low voice, rubbing her sister's backs, the younger girls leaning against her from both sides.

Very slowly they calmed down again.

"How about another round of _Monopoly_?" Maureen asked, choosing this game to keep their minds occupied. "Or _Trivial Pursuit_?"

"Maur, my head's already spinning," Kat complained. "Don't bother us with something this difficult."

"Yeah," Lizzie agreed, "let's play something simple."

"Why don't you get the big box with games, Kat?" Maureen encouraged her.

So Kathleen got up to go and get it. They chose something quite simple, _pickup sticks_. For a while this could keep their attention, then they switched to _Parcheesi_.

Every once in a while Maureen glanced furtively at the man sitting by the open door to their room. He had not moved. Right now he was reading a newspaper. But she was sure that he still was watching them. Not exclusively, but he would notice if something went wrong.

Inwardly she sighed. There was nowhere to go…

Absentmindedly she rolled the dice when it was her turn. She moved her piece four spaces forward. Then it was Kat's turn.

_God! I can still hear him scream! What have they done to you, Dad? Or did they do something to Mom or Dickie? Where have they brought them?_

Panic had filled them when men came in to drag their mother and brother away. From the window they had watched how they brought them out to their car. The doors closed and they drove away.

_We couldn't even say goodbye!_ Tears glistened in Maureen's eyes. _They just brought them out and then they were gone! What will happen now? Will we see you again?_

"Your turn, Maur," Kat pushed.

"Oh, right."

She picked up the dice, but could not throw it. Suddenly it was too much and tears started to flow. Her sisters shifted closer to her again and as they hugged each other they were crying together.

xxx

When Barry shoved him down the stairs, Elliot tried to get his fingers under the belt to release the tension just to find that it was impossible. It was too tight, strangulated him, so that he barely could breathe. He choked because it pressed on his Adam's apple.

"C'mon," Barry sneered as he saw and felt him struggle. "Don't be such a wuss."

_Wuss?_ Elliot also choked on this word. _You strangle me and call me a wuss?_

He almost missed one step. When he stumbled forward, the belt tightened even more. While he was pushed toward the room where John was held, his vision blurred.

Barry positioned him right in front of John. Now he loosened his grip a bit and Elliot gasped for air. Barry laughed.

"Don't make such a fuss!"

_Fuss? I'm almost suffocating!_

"C'mon, let go!" Barry ordered him, meaning his attempts to get the belt off. "I said let go!" he yelled and punched at his arms.

So Elliot let them sink. He could not look straight ahead. There was John, and he did not want to meet his gaze.

John on the other hand was shocked when he saw his friend, pale, hurt, the belt around his neck like a leash. He had changed since the last night… for the worse.

Elliot flinched when he felt gloved hands on his skin. His strangled breaths threatened to catch in his throat. He just felt the hands on his neck, but then the belt was removed.

"Don't move," Barry hissed.

Elliot did his best, consciously suppressing the shivers that rose when he was mocked. He hurt and he felt so helpless. How he hated to feel this way! _I don't want to be helpless! But… but this is just so… humiliating. I swear, when this is over and we meet again, alone… you'll pay for it._

Deep inside of him still was this small flame of his usual fire burning. It flickered when Barry now grabbed his jacked to pull it from his shoulders. Then Barry appeared in front of him, a large knife in his hand.

_Déjà vu,_ Elliot thought. _Hasn't he done enough to me? What is he up to, now?_

"Don't retreat, Elliot!" Barry scolded. Cautiously he laid the knife against his chin to force him to look at him. "C'mon, chico. Show a bit of the spunk you proved to have up there. Still there must be something devilish inside of you." He laughed. Then he brought the knife to Elliot's shirt and cut away the buttons.

_Really a déjà vu. You want to cut my chest again, too?_ And he made a step backwards.

"Hey! I told you not to move!" Barry grabbed his chin. "You really are a baby! Have you always been this way?"

_Certainly not. Emotional, yes, not a baby. Damn! Stop it, Elliot! _he scolded himself. _Fight him! Fight, or you'll really start to cry!_

Of course Barry noticed his slightly different attitude as soon as he went to pull the shirt out of the trousers and took it off.

"Yeah… show me that you're a tough guy," he teased, putting the blade over Elliot's throat. He stepped closer, getting in his face. "And tell me why you made Cragen suspend you."

"I didn't make him," Elliot replied. There was just a hint of defiance in it. "I just followed your orders… and that annoyed him."

"You should be cautious what… and _how_… you're telling me, or you're annoying _me_," Barry hissed.

_I don't intend to annoy you,_ Elliot thought. _It just seems to happen. Like it always did back then. His brain froze for a moment. He could not go there. Not now._

"So, what have you told your colleagues? Tell me the truth!"

"Nothing," Elliot answered honestly, his voice taking on a sharp edge as Barry's voice brought him back to the moment. "I didn't tell them anything."

"Don't play games with me, Elliot!" Barry snarled. "You'll regret it." He let go of him and stepped back. Pointing at him with the knife he continued, "So tell me now!"

"I haven't said anything," Elliot grumbled. He was torn between obedience and resistance. Every fibre of his being screamed for him to defy Barry. "You don't believe me?" he spat. "You placed the bug! You were listening on me the whole morning. So you tell me what I was talking about!"

Elliot's rage burned hot. It was fuelled by what they had done to Kathy, that they separated them and, last but definitely not least, by them forcing him down again. Lying on his back, helpless, hopelessly overpowered, he felt utterly humiliated.

It made him furious.

The only thing that kept him from driving his fist into the triangular glasses in front of him was that these men still held his family hostage. They tried to break him by hurting him and threatening Kathy and the kids. They grasped for his will and put it into the fire of their breaking into his home, his safety zone, they hit and bent it as if they were forging it.

Right now this achieved just one thing: It enraged him more than anything he had ever experienced before in his whole life.

Barry noticed this suppressed rage.

It was quite obvious as Elliot clenched and unclenched his fists and his teeth were grinding, both in an effort to contain himself. His paralyzed fury made his insides constrict and almost drove tears into his eyes.

_I wish I could stare him down,_ Barry thought, knowing quite well that he could not give away his identity.

"Putting up a mask of rage to hide your fear?" Barry taunted.

Elliot just stared at him.

"You're a ridiculous figure," Barry snickered. "You noticed that nobody's listened to you? No one questioned your actions. They just went mad."

These words stabbed his body as effectively as the knife.

"Even your partner! Isn't she supposed to take care of you?" Barry laughed out loud. "But what has she done instead?! She hit you! Dammit, she almost broke your nose!"

This stung deep.

Barry closed in on him again. "Accept it, Elliot! No one cares about you. About you and the filth you're calling family. _You_ are filth! A stinking, rotting piece of filth. A loser who's not capable of protecting his loved ones."

Barry waited a few seconds to let this sink in.

"You could have prevented what happened to your Kathy."

Elliot flinched barely noticeably and Barry snorted.

John's eyes widened. _Kathy? What have they done to Kathy?_

"You know that you failed. You failed miserably."

A twitch in the corner of his eye gave Elliot's mental pain away.

"You've done nothing right. Can you do anything right?" Barry challenged, laughing when he got no answer. "You could not prevent your partner from being shot, you could not get enough evidence… maybe you should have shot Pablo… but then we wouldn't have this talk, because in this case you would be dead by now."

Barry was directly in Elliot's face. Even through the mask Elliot could feel his breath. A hand ran along his arm, which caused him goosebumps. He swallowed dryly. His eyes became a darker blue while his breathing became strained.

"You're a born loser, aren't you, Elliot?" Barry teased. "Did your folks notice that?"

Another twitch in Elliot's eye gave Barry more ammunition.

"Your dad knew it, right? He let you feel the squeeze, am I right? What did he call you? Loser? Crybaby?" He thought for a moment. "Or a downright failure?"

The reaction he triggered was minimal, but he saw it and reacted.

"That's it, right? He called you a failure, 'cause you never could do something right. Whatever you started, it just went wrong. You failed, Elliot. You failed then, and you failed now. You're a failure!"

Elliot flinched. Even John, who could not really see his friend because Barry was between them, could observe it.

"And don't retreat, Elliot!" Barry snapped. "C'mon, open your eyes again!"

He put the blade of his knife against Elliot's cheek. Then he drew it down, until the tip rested beneath his chin. Softly pushing he forced Elliot to bend his head back.

Elliot sucked in a breath through his nose, his body tensed, his lips started to quiver, no matter how badly he tried to suppress it. He squinted at Barry who let his fingers stroll over Elliot's unprotected throat.

Barry was just about to turn away from him, when he hit his neck. It was not a hard blow, but he hit his Adam's apple.

Stars were blinking in front of Elliot's eyes. Doubling over he gasped for breath, but his throat was blocked. Reaching for his neck with his right hand, he searched for support with his left as he went down on his knees. So he knelt on the floor, coughing, choking, desperately fighting for the next breath.

Barry was at his side, grabbing the back of his neck to hold him down.

"That's for the stunt you pulled at court," he snarled. Then he chuckled and stepped aside.

With horror John followed this scene. When he now had free sight at Elliot, his insides constricted with empathic pain. If he would not have been gagged, he would have gasped. He had seen that Elliot had taken a beating and had witnessed how Barry cut him. But there was not only the cut on Elliot's chest but also a sign on his right shoulder, RM. John thought he would have seen it before. Where?

_Is this a brand?_ An icy cold shudder ran down John's back. _It is a brand! Oh, Elliot! What have they put you through? What have they done to your family?_

Still Elliot was choking. The pain drove tears into his eyes and he pressed them shut. _God! Help me! Help us!_ Slowly he regained some strength. His breaths came ragged and painful.

For a few deceiving seconds he could pretend he was alone and that the quiet around him was a peaceful one. Then he heard footsteps behind him. How he wished he could vanish into thin air, like that boy wizard his kids were so fascinated with. He recalled Dickie playing with his sister.

_What did they call it... app... app... apparate! That was it..._

Suddenly a rope tightened around his neck!

Barry yanked on it from behind in an attempt to pull him up to his feet again. Elliot sucked in a breath as he felt the sling closing around his neck and his eyes flew open. It was the same as with the belt before. He reached up to loosen the noose, but could not find purchase. Unable to get his fingers under it, his throat was corded up once more. Panic hit him as he could not breathe.

Barry jerked him up forcefully. When he had him standing again, he loosened the pressure on the rope just enough to slide it around Elliot's neck to where the ends were in front of him at the notch between his collarbones. Elliot seized the moment to catch another deep breath and then the rope tightened again as Barry twirled the two strands around each other, then he split them up again and wrapped them around Elliot's middle. Behind his back he made a knot, then grabbed for the right wrist.

Elliot stiffened up.

"Move it!" Barry snapped and yanked hard on his arm, when Elliot offered resistance.

Then Barry tied the wrist to the makeshift harness, immobilizing the arm effectively, only to repeat it with the left wrist. He jerked the rope tight to make Elliot groan. Next he pulled the ends to Elliot's front again to tie them to the twirled strands, jerking on it once more.

"I know you won't make our life difficult… still we don't want to tempt you. Right?"

He pulled on the harness to get him closer to himself. Elliot's look was downcast. He seemed to be obedient again. Barry was satisfied.

"You really made me angry. Try this again and it's game over."

Elliot did not doubt that. He did not intend to make trouble. The day's events had overwhelmed him and still he could not quite grasp what had happened at court. As much as he knew still no one had noticed his predicament… and he did not dare to try anything but to give that subtle hint to the Coker case.

Barry let go of him and rounded him again just to return with a chain. The sight made Elliot swallow which was painful, too, now. Bile rose and burned his sore throat, when Barry bowed to wrap one end around Elliot's right ankle to secure it with a padlock. Then he watched Barry fasten the other end to the post John was cuffed to.

When Barry was about to leave he stopped next to Elliot to take his chin in his hand to make him look at him.

"C'mon, Elliot. Show me your bright blue eyes."

So Elliot looked directly at the triangular glasses. It gave him the creeps. He could see his face stuck in a human vice and he did not like at all what he saw in his own eyes.

"I won't have to gag you, will I?" Barry teased.

"No," Elliot answered lowly.

"Okay. We'll take a break. See you later."

When he let go, he patted Elliot's cheek. Then Barry and his two men left the cellar.

Elliot took a deep breath. He felt numb, his mind a whirlwind. Once more he closed his eyes to try and regain his composure, and turned away from John. He could not stand him staring at him.

"Hmmhmhmhumf…" John mumbled.

It hurt him so much to see Elliot this way. He wished to be there for him, but cuffed and gagged he could offer nothing at all.

There was a nail a bit higher in the post that he could reach while sitting on the floor. He had found it feeling around. Now, pushing himself a bit up, he tried to get it out. It was easier than he had thought.

His strained groans did not trigger anything in Elliot. He was lost in his thoughts. So he jumped with surprise when he felt hands on his shoulders. He spun around, almost losing his balance when the ankle chain tightened.

"Easy, Elliot," John said. "Easy."

He took his friend by the shoulders. The skin under his hands was cold and tremors passed through the muscles.

"John!" Elliot rasped. "How…?"

"Does that matter? C'mon, Elliot. Let me take off this rope."

Never would he have expected anything other than gratitude, so he was totally taken by surprise when Elliot flinched back and croaked, "No!"

* * *

tbc… 


	26. Chapter 26

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews folks. Thanks a lot. :)

I really would love to see this as an episode. LOL That's up to you, Mr. Wolf! LOL :D

**26**

**Manhattan**

"Pedro Moreno, hum?" detective Poole asked, a bear of a man with a bald head, but goatee and moustache.

"Yeah," Fin replied. "Must be in the evidence we handed over when we split the case. Your squad…"

"Is investigating against the Mendoza clan now," Poole interrupted him. "We still need more evidence to charge them."

"So, what do you have about Moreno, Poole?" Bobby wanted to know with a small challenging smile. He knew him from his time with Narcotics.

"He's a straw man, laundering their dirty money."

"Where do we find him?"

"You don't want to talk with him, do you? You could endanger our investigation if you go and talk with him now."

"We have to," Fin grumbled.

"You sound so urgent."

"We are. Someone's trying to tamper with the trial against Mendoza and Domingo on the attempted murder charges."

"Tamper with the trial?"

"People's lives could be in danger. We need more information."

"And you think Moreno can provide it?" Poole laughed. "I don't think that he'll know a lot. He just gets a cut of the money he launders for them."

"He must have contacts," Fin insisted. "We have to find them… then we most likely come across the men who might be preparing to free Mendoza."

"Free him?" Now Poole was interested. "You mean as in free him by force of arms?"

"Possibly. We don't know enough to tell what their plans may be."

"Talking with Moreno could alert the Mendozas. Maybe they'd just vanish… we'd never get a chance to charge them."

"And risk that their head's getting free? We can't let them get away with that." Fin frowned at Poole. "We're going to talk with him. Just that. Give us his address."

"Okay, okay…" he gave in and stood to get a folder out of the shelf behind him. He dropped back in his chair and flipped through the file. "Moreno… here he is." He scribbled the address down on a slip of paper and handed it over to Fin. "Call me if you need assistance," he said, but could only watch them head out of the precinct.

xxx

**Queens**

"Barry!" Elliot shouted. Due to the hit on his neck he had received earlier it was rather a croak. His throat hurt.

"Elliot! Easy," John took his shoulders again. He felt his friend shudder under his touch.

"John, please. Think of my girls," Elliot pleaded, shifting away from him.

John was taken aback. Was this the same man he had been working with for several years? He was. And yet he seemed to be someone else.

It was not only in Elliot's tone. Clearly John could see fear and desperation in his eyes and features. His heart broke for him all over again.

"Elliot," he whispered, gently stroking with his thumbs over the shivering shoulders. He felt the tension increase and Elliot shifted uncomfortably. He wouldn't be surprised if Elliot would retreat even further if it had not been for the chain that held his ankle.

Elliot avoided looking into his eyes. He could not stand the sight of his friend anymore than he could stand having John look at him. He grimaced and turned his head to the side. His whole body was tense because he did not want to be touched. Too powerful was the memory of Barry touching him. Yet, he was yearning for closer contact, some comfort loving arms could offer. His thoughts trailed back to his family and tears of rage and pain shot into his eyes.

Overwhelmed by this sight, John just intended to comfort him. He reached out to pull him into a soothing embrace, but Elliot jumped back. The chain tightened… and brought him down. John was not fast enough to catch him in time so Elliot crashed to the ground, pulling him down, too, and John landed on top of him.

"Ouch!" Elliot groaned. With his arms bound he could not catch his fall. His arms were on fire instantly. Hopefully he did not break any bones.

"Nice stunt, John," he grunted, barely able to breathe because the rope tightened.

"I'm so sorry," John muttered, scrambling back up. "Come…"

He grabbed for Elliot's arms to pull him back up.

If he would not have been bound he would have resisted, told him to back off, but the alternative was to stay on the ground. He did not prefer that.

So he struggled to get at least in a sitting position with John's help. When he was leaning against a shelf, John took hold of the rope to open the knot.

"What are you doing?" Elliot asked, perplex.

"What do you think I'm doing?" John was confused. "What does it look like?"

"I told you not to do that."

"We could find a way to get out… or to alarm someone. Maybe we can use some of your stuff down here as weapon and take the bastards down…"

"John!" Elliot could not believe it. "Do you hear yourself?"

"What?" John stopped fingering the knot.

"Do you hear what you're saying?" Elliot queried. "Are you out of your mind?"

John frowned. "Why?"

"We can't take them down! There…" He became troubled and bit his lower lip. "There are at least seven of them, maybe more." He grimaced with the thought. "Some of them are upstairs with the girls! And… and…"

Elliot could not force it over his lips. He choked on it and started to shiver. John saw it with dismay.

"And what?" he pushed.

"They…" Once more Elliot choked, then he exploded, his voice still restrained and raspy due to Barry's cruelty. "They took Kathy and Dickie and…! They took them away, John. They took them and brought them out. I have no idea where they are! And now the girls are all alone up there! They are alone! Alone, John! You know what that means?!" He became agitated now, his features distorted with fear and rage. "These men are alone with them! Alone with three young girls!"

John flinched back, landing on his butt. Yes, he knew. They worked special victims, so he knew exactly what Elliot was saying. But he realized it only now.

_Kathy taken away?_ He shuddered. _That must terrify them._

"And you are talking about trying to escape?!" Elliot went on. "To leave them alone? Leave them?! How can you possibly think that I could leave my kids?!" His voice cracked.

_What have I done?_ John was shocked. He had not given a thought to the kids. It made him blush crimson red. His shame burned him from the inside out.

Elliot watched him. That John blushed told him what he was most likely thinking and that enraged him.

"You're a fine friend, John," he grumbled accusingly. "You've seen them growing up. You're like family for them."

In his anger his muscles flexed. At once he felt it in the rope. Once more it pressed on the base of his neck and made him choke.

As he could not blush any deeper, now all color drained from John's face. Elliot was so damned right. He remembered the kids riding on his knee. Especially Dickie enjoyed that splendidly. Each time they stopped by at the precinct, the kids came running to him, too, because he always hid some sweets for them in his desk.

Suddenly he felt sick.

"I'm sorry, Elliot. I really am! It's just… that we have to do… something! I could go and…"

"And what?" Elliot croaked. _This damned rope!_ "You want to run away? What do you think they'll do when they discover that you're gone?"

Again he had not thought for a second. Slowly he started to realize what had really happened to Elliot. When he now looked at his friend, this insight showed in his eyes.

It was more than Elliot could stand. For him the compassionate look bordered on pity and that was the last thing he needed. So he turned his head away, grinding his teeth. Right now he wished for John to go away. _I don't need him to pity me! Damn! This moron did not think for an instant!_

John could hear Elliot's teeth. The pained look on his friend's face hurt him physically, making his heart ache and his insides constrict. Desperately he was groping for words in his mind.

"Elliot…"

He reached out for his friend, but Elliot just jerked farther away from him.

"Just… shut up and leave me alone!"

"What?" John was stunned. "I'm just trying to help…"

This hurt Elliot like a knife in the gut. "We can do without this kind of _help_!" he snapped. "You go on trying to help us you might get us killed!"

"Elliot!"

"What?!" Threateningly he fixated John with sparkling eyes, shutting him up effectively.

"You should have given me some sign… something telling me that you're hostages when I stopped by yesterday." John mumbled, before he even realized that he spoke aloud. In the same instant he regretted his words. He knew that Elliot did not have had any chance.

_Whatever he might have tried to alarm me,_ John thought, _it could have alarmed the perps, too. And he could not take that risk!_

All of a sudden, Elliot filled up with shame and rage at his own impotence, but he still could do nothing about it. He still had to protect his family.

_Barry __was right. My father was right._

_I'm a failure._

It made his blood boil. Bile rose in his throat.

He took John by surprise when he started to kick at him frantically. Wriggling like crazy he tried to escape his look, his touch, his words… He felt so sick. He had to…

In his attempt to get away from John he made the shelf he had been leaning against sway. It wobbled precariously until he knocked against it one more time. Then it went down with a crash, tools, cans and whatever else flying through the air and landing thundering on the floor.

xxx

Actually she would have preferred to meet Poole. She knew him from another case and would have liked to talk with him.

Instead of that Olivia was now riding in a van over the Queensboro Bridge on their way to Queens. It followed another van, silver colored, with big SWAT letters on the sides. Behind their own car was a truck, also from the Special Weapon and Tactics squad.

Her stomach rumbled. She dreaded to find out that they were right… and Elliot was a prisoner in his own house. She did not want to believe it, but everything pointed at this scenario.

Captain Cragen was sitting opposite of her, his eyes fixed on her, but seeing nothing but his memories. He almost desperately tried to find any hint in detective Stabler's behavior that had possibly clued him in that he was in trouble. He was still in denial of the fact that there _was_ something wrong, even with the bug they had found in his badge as proof. That was something that should not happen, something that _could_ not happen.

Especially not to one of their own.

_What exactly is going on? What will we find, once we get there? Will we find something out at all? Is someone there? Or did they just stop by?_

"We just got information that the Explorer has left again," Lieutenant Quinn Simmons told them. "The patrol car just passed the house a second time."

Cragen's heart pounded. _Please, God. Let them be all right!_

Olivia's thoughts were not much different. She did not pay attention to her surroundings either while they were riding from the bridge down Queens Boulevard. Soon they went east to Cross Island Parkway. From there they did not have far to go to Glen Oaks.

When the car pulled into the street running parallel to the one Elliot was living in, the driver slowed down and finally stopped. Simmons turned to Cragen.

"I say we set up our base in one of the neighboring houses," he simply stated.

"Yeah," Cragen confirmed, having some trouble with following the lieutenant's message behind the short statement. "We're doing that."

So several cops left the cars while a small number of people on the street eyed the police trucks suspiciously. Cragen got out and went with Simmons to a neat house, over the natural stones that led the way to the front door. A tree shaded the front and a hanging basket decorated the posts of the porch.

_As neat as Elliot's home. _Cragen chased the thought away.

Simmons rang the doorbell.

The woman opening the door looked surprised and a bit curiously at the officers standing on her threshold.

"Is something wrong, officers?" she asked, nervousness clearly audible in her voice.

"Lieutenant Simmons," the SWAT team leader introduced himself, then gesturing to the man behind him, "Captain Cragen. We need to ask your cooperation in a police operation."

"My cooperation?" she sounded somewhat scared now. "What happened? Are we in danger?"

"No, Ma'am," Simmons assured her. "We need access to your house to reconnoiter the situation on the property neighboring yours. If necessary we will also need to occupy your house for the duration of our operation."

"But…" She did not really know what to answer. The lieutenant looked quite intimidating, clad in his complete combat gear, as did the captain standing behind him due to his stern expression.

"Come in," she caved, knowing that she did not really have a choice.

"Thank you, Ma'am," Simmons said as he strode past her.

xxx

Lying on his side, hoping not to be hit by any can, Elliot grimaced. This had to be heard in the whole house.

And he dreaded to find out what would happen now.

His view was drawn by John who stared at the fallen shelf incredulously. Then their eyes met and John flinched back as he saw raw panic in Elliot's sapphire blue ones.

_He's not cuffed,_ it screamed inside of Elliot. _They must believe he wanted to try to escape… what he did._

That thought made him sick to the stomach. He heard the door creak followed by thumps on the stair, and started to tremble.

"What the hell…?" Barry thundered, rounding the corner. He stopped dead when he saw the mess the men had made. Then he saw that John was free. The men behind him noticed it, too, and launched themselves at John.

"I'll teach you to defy us!" Barry screamed. "What the hell do you think you're doing there? How did you get your cuffs off?"

John stiffened up in the clasp of the men who held his arms. Barry closed in on him. He saw him raise his arm, then he suddenly felt the blow shatter against his chin, almost knocking him out.

"No!" Elliot screamed. His voice did not carry very much. "Wait! I called out for you, but… you couldn't hear it! I can't…"

He froze as he saw Barry turn. From his position on the ground he seemed bigger than he actually was. Impressive. Dark. Threatening. It sent Elliot back in time, turning him into a young boy again, weak and scared, terrified awaiting the wrath of his father.

Just for a second light reflected on Barry's glasses before he turned back to John.

"Please," Elliot croaked. When he tried to sit up again, he fell forward. In the prone position he now found himself in he almost throttled himself with his bondage. "Please, don't. He didn't…"

"He did," Barry spat. "Shut up."

So Elliot fell silent.

"You're a stupid pig," Barry snarled, grabbing John's chin. He wanted to look into his eyes. "Have you ever thought of your friend and his family? Have you?"

John swallowed. In the next instant he doubled over as Barry drove his fist in his gut. The men let go of him and he fell to his knees, gasping for air.

Elliot could only stare at him. He was incapable of helping his friend. All he could do was watch as they dragged him back to the post where they cuffed him again, and Barry slapped him across the face before he turned to Elliot. The detective swallowed dryly. His throat corded up. Raw fear spread through his body and he felt himself lose it.

Barry gestured his men and they went to Elliot to grab his arms and pick him up. They pulled him to his feet and to face Barry. One of them received a key from Barry and opened Elliot's chain.

"El pendejo got what he was longing for," Barry said. "Don't try to justify what he did. Just be lucky that he could not go through with it."

"He did not intend to…"

"Stop it," Barry shouted. His voice became gentle then. "Just stop." He laid a knuckle under Elliot's chin to push his mouth shut. When he had silenced him, he got hold of the twisted strands over Elliot's chest and dragged him over to the stairs. He did not stop there and made him follow along as he climbed up again. Then he shoved him into the living room, over to the sofa.

"Sit," he bellowed and pushed him backwards, so that he dropped into the cushions.

* * *

tbc… 


	27. Chapter 27

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews folks. :D LOL

**2****7**

**Brooklyn**

**Moreno residence**

"Detectives," Moreno greeted them. "Come on in, come on in." Nervously he gestured them to go past him ahead to the living room, then he quickly pushed the front door closed and followed hot on their heels.

"So, officers. What's up?"

"Your paintings," Fin said. "They are surprising."

One look around revealed a desk with a battery of paint cans sitting atop along with a glass full of brushes and other painting equipment.

"Who did you kill to be able to sell your artwork for $ 18,000 to $ 25,000 each?" Fin pushed. "That's a good sale for someone like you."

"Like me?" Moreno echoed. He pushed his wheelchair over to his working place to keep Fin from snooping around. "What is that supposed to mean? Just because I can't walk?"

"Because you're unknown," Bobby threw in.

"Yo, man," Fin picked up this line, "I wouldn't even pay eighteen _dollars_ for one of these."

"That must be because you haven't any idea of art," Moreno said.

"Nah." Bobby shook his head and his index finger at him. "That must be because you haven't sold any paintings at all, right? You're just writing invoices."

Moreno's eyebrows shot up. "Oh, I do a decent business," he said. "I got me a vendor's license and sell them down on Canal Street."

Fin smirked, "I don't know nobody who's gonna drop that much green on a street vendor, man."

While Moreno's attention now was drawn back to Fin, Bobby went to examine the desk. Next to it were a few paintings lined up, all showing either land- or cityscapes. The two laying on the tabletop were quite different, very dark and depressing.

"You got any problems, Pedro?" Bobby asked, grabbing for a brush to dip it into red color.

"Hey¿Qué hace?!" Moreno squeaked when Bobby just was about to bring the brush down on the canvas. "Whatcha doing?"

Inwardly Fin was smirking. He knew Bobby's escapades from their time as partners with narcotics. Once again the big detective had hit a suspect's most sensitive spot.

"Who? Me?" Bobby looked surprised. When he was awkwardly pointing at himself he almost speckled his suit with red paint.

The innocent incredulity in Bobby's voice and his clumsiness with the brush were show, but only Fin knew that for sure. He had a hard time suppressing his smirk and giggles as he was watching the unfolding scene. He did not know anyone else who could play people like Bobby did.

"You can't just go ahead and ruin my work!" Moreno screamed. "How…"

"I thought I'd be saving it," Bobby replied, sounding completely taken aback. "It looks so… dark, depressed."

"It's supposed to look like that!" Moreno grumbled, stopping his chair right in front of Bobby, just an inch before he rolled on his toes. Then he snatched the brush from the detective's hand, splattering the paint on the painting.

"Hey, look what you've done," Bobby scolded, reaching for some paper tissues to wipe the blotches away.

"No!" This time Moreno grabbed for the paintings. "You're just making it worse!"

"Sorry," Bobby mumbled. "I didn't intend to… Do you have problems with your bosses?" he asked, suddenly alert. His brows furrowed he leaned awkwardly to the side, getting into the Latino's face. "Hm? Are you in trouble? Is that why your paintings suddenly are so dark?"

Moreno thought he might hear concern in these words.

"That's none of your business!" he yelled. "Why don't you go and harass someone else?"

"We're not harassing anybody," Fin chimed in.

"Nah, never," Bobby confirmed. "We… are just offering our help."

"Get the fuck out of here!"

"Awww… no can do," Fin said.

"Nope." Bobby shook his head, grimacing. He laid one hand on a handle of the wheelchair to keep Moreno in place. "We're not narcotics or white collar. We don't care about your laundering money," he told him in a conspiratorial voice. "Just tell us about the Mendozas."

"Who?"

"Your bosses," Fin prodded. "Tell us about Pablo!"

"He's in jail," Moreno grumbled.

"We know _that_," Bobby pushed, getting further into his face. "Tell us something we _don't_ know."

Grimacing he stared at the big detective, bowing so threateningly down to him, Pedro said,

"I just know that his brothers and cousins are here. They asked me some favors." He swallowed dryly. "And before you ask… I have no idea where they are."

"What are they doing around here?"

Moreno distinctively shook his head. "No idea… don't want to know. Has something to do with Pablo. He's the head of the family. They can't go without him." Gathering his whole courage he pushed Bobby back and rolled his chair out of his reach. "And now get lost!"

"What favors?" Fin snarled.

"Organized them rooms."

"Where?"

"Here in Brooklyn," Moreno grumbled, grabbing a pad to scribble the address down. "And now get the fuck out of here!"

"Okay," Bobby said, raising his hands defensively and turning already to the door. "We're going. C'mon, Fin."

xxx

**Q****ueens**

On the back porch of Mrs. Lavender's house, hidden by massively overgrown lilac, the cops set up their equipment, including a parabolic microphone directed on the Stablers' home.

Sergeant Robson was just working on connecting the electronic gear. Soon they would be able to hear what was going on in the house on the other side of the wooden fence.

_The house of my partner,_ Olivia thought. Once more this made her insides constrict painfully. _Lord, if they really should be in there…_

She looked at her captain. He also was watching the working SWAT team members. Her cell phone startled her out of her thought.

"Yeah, Fin." She listened to what he had to tell her, then she snapped the phone shut. "Captain."

"Who was it?" he asked, following her inside.

"Fin and Bobby got news from Moreno," she started and repeated what Fin just had told her.

Cragen nodded absently. His gaze fell on another officer who carried more equipment out on the porch.

"I hope they won't notice anything over there," he murmured.

But Olivia heard him nevertheless. She followed his look out on the porch and over to the house she knew so well. How often was she visiting him and his family there? She had been there for his birthday once, as well as for the birthday of Elizabeth and Richard.

Tears stung her eyes as she was reminded of the project, Lizzie had been planning with her. She wanted to send her her theme about the snow leopard as soon as she got it finished… and now she most likely had not even been at the zoo to see and study the big cat.

"Olivia?" Cragen asked cautiously.

"I'm okay," she replied, giving him a small but forced smile. "I just thought… they told me about a barbecue they wanted to have yesterday evening. I could have stopped by, but when I came home from the theatre, tired from skating the whole morning through Cental Park, I did not feel like changing and driving over to Queens…" Her voice trailed off. It was low when she continued, "I did not even call him… I wanted to, but I didn't. Only when Fin said that he could not find Munch…"

"We're almost finished, sir," Simmons told them, striding past them, getting even more electronics.

Soon they would know if they were right.

"Um, officers?" Mrs. Lavender queried. "If you would like something to drink… I have water and soda here, and I could make some coffee."

"Thanks, Ma'am," Simmons nodded. She returned to her kitchen. "Do you think she'll offer us noshes?" he wondered, chuckling.

The waiting was terrible. With every passing second their tension increased. Then Simmons peaked in through the back door and gave them a thumbs up. He was staying outside, while Cragen and Olivia took places inside the living room to listen.

xxx

**Stabler residence**

"Thanks for shouting for me," Barry teased. "I knew I could count on you."

A snort was Elliot's only response. He stared at the carpet where he just had spotted a bit of fuzz. It was an insult to the otherwise clean floor.

Inwardly Elliot giggled insanely about this strange thought. _Every other day I wouldn't have noticed it at all,_ he thought. _God! Why's time ticking so slowly away?_

For a moment Barry just stood and watched the detective. He liked the downcast eyes and the sagged shoulders. The bondage tamed and humiliated him… exactly as it was supposed to do.

"Tell me your name," he suddenly said.

Elliot squinted at him without raising his head.

_Not this game again! Please!_ He fixated on the bit of fuzz again. It still was in the same place. A constant in the middle of chaos.

"C'mon," Barry pushed. "Tell me!"

_No, no, no… not this, please…_

"Noooow."

Elliot winced. This snarl was powerfully demanding.

"Elliot Stabler," he mumbled barely audible.

"In a complete sentence, chico!"

The detective swallowed.

"My name's Elliot Stabler."

Barry nodded. He came over to Elliot and grabbed the rope again. This time to untie it. When the knot in the front was open, Barry rounded the sofa to get behind Elliot. He pushed him forward, making him bend over, so that he could reach the bound wrists. Not much later Elliot's left hand was free.

"Don't move it," Barry said. "Keep it behind your back."

Elliot was too confused and humiliated to react at all. His body was as taut as a bowstring with anticipation.

_What the hell is he planning this time?_

Once the rope was gone from his right arm, too, Barry took hold of both wrists and pulled them up, making Elliot groan. He pulled them as far as possible.

Elliot just could bend forward. His arms hurt, his shoulders hurt, his back hurt… his pride could not hurt anymore. Somewhere between their first assault and now he must have lost it.

Barry felt the tension ripple through the detective's body. He needed both hands to hold the wrists up under the constant strain. He had expected him to start talking, but he was wrong. His captive did not plead.

Elliot's breaths became erratic. His body writhed in an attempt to escape the pain. Damn! He felt as if his shoulders were about to dislocate.

But he would not beg, he just would not beg!

"Rank," Barry queried.

Elliot gasped but did not answer. Slowly his squirming faded. He just did not have the energy to keep it up. Then the tension in his muscles lessened until he sat silently on the sofa, his arms cruelly bent up, immobile. He was bent over so far that his forehead touched his knees.

"Rank," Barry repeated.

Elliot swallowed dryly. He could tell with absolute certainty that he hated this game.

"Detective First Grade," he answered him.

Barry laughed.

"Detective First Shit would describe it more accurately, don't you think?"

_If you say so,_ he thought miserably.

"C'mon, Elliot, tell me!"

_Tell you? Tell you what? This?_

The pressure on his arms increased a fraction, an unmistakable reminder of his duty.

"Y…you're… right. M… my rank is… De... tective… First Shit," he whispered.

"Beg your pardon?" Barry teased. "I can't hear you!"

"Y…you're right. M… my… r..r..rank is… Detective First Shit." _Lord, just let the kids be all right. I'll endure this, just, don't let them be injured seriously._

"Yeeeeaaahhhh," Barry taunted with satisfaction in his voice. "That's your rank." He chuckled. Then he let go of him.

Elliot's arms sank limp back on the sofa. For a while he could not move them at all.

"Get up and come over here," Barry commanded, emphasizing with big gestures.

Elliot glanced up at him. Slowly he straightened on the sofa before he started to stand up. Barry waited for him next to the easy chair. For one long minute they just stood there, then Barry untwisted the rope and pulled it from Elliot's neck.

Taking in his captive's submissive appearance, he smirked under his mask. That's what Pablo expected, and that's what Pablo would get. A small chuckle escaped him. _It's not much different from breaking in a horse,_ he thought.

The chuckle sent chills down Elliot's back. His body started to shiver involuntarily and he clenched his teeth when Barry reached out to follow the lines of the brand with his gloved index finger.

"Tell me what you're supposed to do," he ordered.

"I have to go to court," Elliot replied lowly, his voice shaking.

"Yeah… that's not exactly what I meant. Try again."

_What?_ Elliot tried to roll his shoulder back and away from the touch. But Barry's hand followed, never breaking contact. _Hell, that burns!_

"I have to… to… obey to your... orders," he pressed through gritted teeth.

"Yeah." Barry stroked over his shoulder and let his hand rest on the back of his neck. Then he grabbed it hard. "What exactly do you have to do?"

"I…" he mumbled. "I… have to submit."

"Yeah, you have," he tasted the words like wine. "And you will pay dearly for any kind of…"

"…disobedience," Elliot whispered when Barry left the sentence open.

"Excuse me. Did you say something?"

"I'd… pay for my disobedience." He swallowed. "M… my family would… pay… for it."

"Yeeaaahhh. They will."

Barry still stood right in front of him, his fingers trailing over the burn's contours.

Elliot was shivering, his look downcast. He could not stand to look at Barry.

"Why?" he suddenly asked.

"What?"

Barry laid his hand under the detective's chin to make him look at him. Elliot raised his head, but his gaze went downwards to the side.

"What did you say?" Barry snarled.

"Why?" Elliot swallowed. "Why… have you separated us?

"I told you why… because of that scene you made before you left the court house." He paused to emphasize his next words, "You should know better than to draw that kind of attention to yourself."

Barry stepped even closer. Now his and Elliot's chests touched. He took hold of Elliot's upper arms… and felt the man tremble more and more.

"Kathy and Dickie will be all right, as long as your colleagues don't do anything stupid… and as long as you surrender," he snarled. The strained breathing of his captive was music in his ears.

"You _will_ submit, won't you?" he teased.

Elliot was struggling with concepts too unfamiliar for him to put them into words. After several moments of apparently painful internal struggle, he said, "C…can I see my girls, please?"

His voice sounded hollow and desperation and longing were also audible.

Under his mask Barry was grinning like the Cheshire cat. To have absolute control was a powerful and satisfying feeling.

"No," he said, knowing without looking at him that Elliot would be devastated as he played with his fears. "But you can go and get me a drink," he ordered casually.

xxx

**Lavender**** residence**

Cragen swallowed hard.

_Oh, my God. Elliot!_

A chill ran down his back as he listened to the faint sounds indicating that Elliot did as he was told. One look at Olivia told him that she felt quite similar: downright physically sick.

In his wildest imagination he could not begin to grasp how Elliot might feel. He knew that the younger man had his issues with authority. Sometimes he was rebellious and showed parts of his powerful, intense personality. It was one of those memories that rose now.

The sounds coming out of the headphones lost their sense, and left Cragen restless, sweat glistening on his forehead. He had to stop listening. He stood, took off his set of headphones and stepped away from everyone.

It had been the perfect example of how proud and self confident Elliot Stabler was… and brave. Brave, or stupid, enough to walk into his captain's office with quite a temper, demanding to know,_ "Why?!"_

"_Excuse me?" Cragen had turned from his file._

"_Thomas Marchack kidnapped Corinne Branson, tortured her at knifepoint and left her for dead." The detective was almost shaking with rage._

"_I read the file." Cragen had answered simply. Actually it had been this very file, he had been reading when he had been so rudely interrupted._

"_I was ready to cap that dirtbag myself... now you expect me to work his homicide?"_

"_1PP does. They asked me to take it and I said yes."_

"_To polish your political apple?"_

"_It's delicate territory and you're familiar with the players."_

Cragen was surprised by the clarity with which he remembered this conversation. He had stared into his detective's stunning blue eyes that were sparkling with rage when he had said this. Actually his reply had been pure insubordination, but knowing who was the victim of the deadly attack, Cragen had chosen to ignore it this time.

"_I'll call homicide in," Elliot had said, pivoting to leave the office._

"_You go talk to the parents," Cragen had stopped him the moment he had his hand on the doorknob._

_For a second Elliot had __frozen, then he turned to his captain to tell him in his direct and unnerving cocky manner,_

"_I'll talk to the parents and I'll tell them the good news about Marchak. But I'm not telling them that they're suspects."_

"_According to the chief, the girl's mother threatened Marchak at the__ last parole hearing…" __Cragen started, but was cut off quite angrily._

"_She should have threatened the parole board while she was at it."_

"_Are you finished?" Cragen had roared._

_Elliot had fallen silent, his features crumbling from raged to sad._

"_I don't want this case," he had said._

"_I'm through explaining myself to you. You caught it, you make it." With that Cragen had gone past Elliot and out of his own office, leaving the detective behind._

Now Cragen stood in the living room of the Lavender family and was contemplating about what he had heard just minutes earlier and what he remembered.

_I have been so furious about his insubordination,_ he thought. _Right at that moment, all I could think about was making him do what I wanted, what I needed him to do. I'm the captain and he has to follow my orders. Damn! I knew he would try to get rid of the case the moment I sent him and Olivia to the scene! But I needed him on this case. He _had_ to do it._

That determination on his side had led to Elliot taking the case, but not without protest and there had been other moments that Elliot let his frustration show. With renewed anger Cragen remembered the scene he had made in Alex Cabot's office when they told him and Olivia that they should bring Mrs. Branson in for a lineup.

"_No. You know something," Elliot had__ turned to Alex again. "This woman is already living in hell and now you're asking me to drag her in like a criminal. I'm not doing it."_

"_This isn't your call, Detective," Alex had replied._

"_Counselor, you know something... I don't answer to you."_

"_You answer to me," Cragen had thrown in, his voice a knife in the charged atmosphere. "And I suggest you adjust your attitude before I write you up on insubordination."_

_Olivia had looked at their captain, then cast her eyes down. Even if she had been of the same opinion and wanted to help her partner, she had known Cragen was right._

_Elliot had been thinking. He had raised his hands in an attempt to calm them._

"_I just don't think we have enough evidence," he had tried to reason with them, his protest still palpable._

"_I say we do," Cragen had said, fixating his lead detective. "Either get right with that or go home."_

_Alex had looked at Cragen with silent agreement, then at Elliot._

_And Elliot just stood and left, _Cragen thought. He turned his head to look at Olivia who still sat at the equipment, listening closely. _I had to admonish him to get him to do what I wanted. Elliot's theory had just been confirmed when the next child molester was killed while Mrs. Branson was at the precinct for the line-up. _Still he remembered how he had stopped his lead detective short to tell him off, _"Elliot, how far you gonna push this?"_

"_Captain…"_

_But he cut him short,_

"_Oh, no no no. __Since I assigned this case, you have questioned my orders and disrespected my command. Now, I've cut you some slack because of our relationship, but this well is running pretty dry. Are we clear?"_

"_Yes, sir."_

"_I got enough crap from the politicians, I don't need any from my own detectives. I need a break, Elliot. Find me one."_

_Our relationship_, he thought. _When I started to get to know him, I loved that man like he was my own son. Now I value him as a friend, and still, if I had a son, I would want him to turn out like Elliot Stabler._

_Why didn't I see that he was in trouble?_

Once more he glanced at Olivia and he wondered if she was following whatever was to be heard with the help of the parabolic microphone. He had no way of knowing, but he suspected that she was quite distracted, too.

His thoughts returned to the Branson case.

_To polish your political apple_, he had asked. Cragen chuckled. _It said a lot about our relationship that he would dare to be so direct about it... convinced that he would get away with it. He knew that I tricked him into that investigation by sending him to a homicide without giving him the victim's name when I already knew it was Marchack and that made him lash out at me. It made him furious that he was forced to put the family through more pain by questioning them about the murder. I knew that in advance, but I only realized how much it hurt Elliot, when he honestly told me that he did not want the case. It was clearly audible in his voice, visible in his face._

Cragen swallowed.

_But I could only tell him that he caught the case, so he had to make it._ His insides churned. _I knew he would do it, if not for my order then because he wanted to make sure that no one else would inflict more pain on the Bransons than necessary._

It made Cragen sick.

_Back then I realized too late that it was all about Elliot's own concerns,_ he thought. _And now I did it again. I didn't trust him. I just didn't realize that he might have a reason to act like he did… and to question this reason._

_I just reacted as his captain, as the superior who has to keep him in line! I didn't think for a second as his friend, _he berated himself. _If I would have done that, I might have seen the subtle signs he was giving us. And I would have questioned at once his motives for changing his testimony…_

His view was drawn to the equipment again when he saw the monitor flicker until it showed a clear overview of the Stablers' living room.

_The Stablers…_Shivers ran over Cragen's back. _It's not only Elliot who's threatened, it's his family, too. His family is the essential part. They never would be able to get him to submit if it was not for his family…_

At once he hurried back to his place and put the earphones back on. The exchange between Elliot and the man who was holding him hostage immediately made him sick. That he now could watch it, too, made it even worse.

Elliot obediently retrieved a glass from the kitchen, and then he stood there, momentarily ignoring the menacing figure in black, staring longingly at the door, no doubt wondering if his kids were all right. Then he went over to the masked figure, offering him the glass.

It took only seconds.

Cragen and Olivia both cringed as they had to witness helplessly how their unsuspecting friend was thrown to the floor. What came next was even harder to watch.

* * *

tbc… 


	28. Chapter 28

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. :D

Hmmm... was something wrong with the last chapter? I've done my best to keep up the suspense. So please let me know what you think about this one. Thanks.

**2****8**

**Stabler**** residence**

"That's water," Barry said incredulously as he raised the glass to sniff at it. "I asked you to get me a _drink_."

When Elliot raised his head to stare at Barry, his eyes spread fiery rage.

"You have a gun," he spat, his voice hoarse with fury. "You're holding us hostage. I can help and get you any alco…"

_Smack!_

The slap in the face with the back of Barry's hand was so forceful that it threw Elliot backwards to the ground.

"That's not your decision to make!" Barry bellowed. "And now get me the fucking drink!"

Elliot sat on the floor. For a few seconds his features displayed plain fear as memories of being beaten with a belt rose.

His expression turned to a mask of rage and fear. There was no room for defiance. He knew it, but his desire to resist burned hotter than before.

Barry turned his head to look at one of his men. When their gazes met, he nodded him to go ahead.

"No!" Elliot yelled, panic in his voice.

Barry smirked at the speed with which Elliot now scrambled to his feet to go and get the drink.

"Get me a Tequila!" he shouted after him.

Elliot's heart raced. There was no Tequila in their house bar.

"We… we don't have that," he answered the request.

"What a pity… you're missing out on something. You have whiskey?"

"Yeah," he mumbled, picking up another glass and turning it to pour some of the golden brown liquid. It was not as easy as it looked like. His arms and shoulders still hurt and he was slightly trembling when he filled the glass with just one shot of whiskey. Well, his shivers were not entirely due to the pain… he was shivering with fear.

Taking a deep breath, Elliot screwed the bottle up and put it back into the house bar. Then he returned to Barry, offering him the glass.

Barry took it and lifted it up, sniffing.

"Yeah, that's good stuff," he snickered. "You want some?"

Elliot just shook his head.

"Ohhh… of course you want some. C'mon, Elliot." He tried to put the glass back into Elliot's hand, but the detective refused.

"C'mon, take it."

But Elliot did not move. So Barry stepped forward, bringing the glass up to Elliot's mouth.

"Drink!"

Grimacing Elliot bent his head back to avoid it, but for Barry that was no option. He grabbed the back of Elliot's neck to hold him in place and pressed the glass against his lips.

"Drink!" he ordered once more.

So Elliot had no other choice than to open his mouth and take the drink. It burned on his tongue and it burned in his throat as he downed it.

"Fine, you're a good boy… now get me one, too."

Obediently Elliot accepted the glass back and returned to the house bar. Open the bar, set the glass down, get the bottle and open it, pour the whiskey, screw the bottle up, put it back in, take the glass, close the door…

He froze. A shudder washed over him, tickled over his head and down his spine.

It took him a deep breath and counting to ten to enable him to go back to Barry. When he reached the glass over, Barry held his hand for almost a minute before he took the glass. Elliot swallowed. Just this simple touch made him sick. He did not like to be touched, he did not like it at all. Especially not by men who were likely to hurt him.

He had to chuckle inwardly. That was a big understatement!

"So, let me see if it tastes as good as it smells," Barry said, lifting the glass and sniffing once more. He hesitated to look up at Elliot again. "I think it will. You won't have some cheap stuff. Right, Elliot?"

The detective looked down again. His muscles were so hard with tension that they started to shiver. He hated that as much as he hated to be defenseless.

"C'mon, Elliot," Barry said, lying two fingers under the detective's chin to make him turn his head. "C'mon, look at me."

Reluctantly Elliot raised his eyes to look straight ahead and meet the triangular glasses. It caused him renewed shivers.

Barry let go of him and raised his glass again, grabbing for the seam of the mask with the other hand.

Elliot gasped. He knew, Barry had to lift his mask if he wanted to drink. That he did it in his presence, actually making him witness it, made his insides constrict so painfully that he feared he would have a heart attack or a stroke. He felt his pulse rise and his heart hammering. Heat spread through his body and into his face. Panic made his eyes wide.

"Oh, Elliot," Barry chuckled. "Don't panic."

For a moment he just paused in this posture, then he grabbed the mask, but let go again when Elliot looked to the side. Grabbing his chin harder this time, he forced him to face him.

"No, Elliot! Don't move!" He saw him shake with rage and defiance, the blue eyes spreading fire. "As it has just been Doc who you've seen the last time, you should close your eyes, but don't move."

Then he let go, took the mask and yanked it off, grinning as he saw the detective pressing his eyes firmly shut. He stood there, his face a mask of terror and uncertainty. Barry liked that.

"I'm drinking to Pablo's verdict of not guilty," he said and downed his whiskey.

Elliot really did not move. He just stood and waited, his heart pounding wildly in his chest. He looked quite humble and vulnerable. Barry enjoyed it.

And he could not withstand the temptation to touch.

"Shhh…." he soothed, putting the glass down and taking off the glove, then laying his hand gently on Elliot's bare shoulder.

xxx

**unknown location**

"Where are we now?" Dickie asked his mother.

Kathy wished she knew the answer. But the van did not have windows and they still were sitting in the loading space.

"It's so quiet," he mumbled. "Where did they take us?"

"Out of town, honey," she murmured, stroking his hair. Her stomach grumbled, this time because she was hungry.

"I want to go home."

"I know, baby. I know. We'll be home soon."

"Have ter wait till morning," the man guarding them said.

"Why couldn't we stay?" Kathy asked. "We don't act up. Why couldn't we stay with the girls?"

"Your cop."

"You mean my husband? Elliot?"

The man nodded.

Kathy chose not to react. Before she said something wrong she remained silent. Her son snuggled up to her again and she embraced him tightly.

_What have you done, Elliot? Or better, what went wrong? I don't think that you did something stupid on purpose… you wouldn't dare to… but something must have gone wrong. Something that makes them think that they had to take precautions by separating us._

She swallowed dryly.

_Whatever it was, it has truly enraged them._

She shifted her position. Sitting was not painful, more uncomfortable. She sobbed.

"Mom?"

"Nothing," she replied, "try to sleep."

"But, mom…"

"No, don't." Her arms pulled him even closer. "We're going to be okay. Just try to relax and get some sleep."

She felt him shift and then he lay still. His closeness was comforting. Kathy sighed.

_This will be a long night._

xxx

**Stabler residence**

Kathleen stared at her cards, but did not really see what she had. That it had not been her turn to play for a while told her that the others noticed her mental absence and chose to ignore it. They did not count the points they had at the end of the game anyway, so they did not mind that their sister was far away with her thoughts.

Maureen had stopped brooding for a while and she tried to ignore her sister's distanced look. She knew that if she started to think about what Kathleen might think, she would be brooding again and right now she wanted to avoid that. It gave her a headache and her gut was knotted.

"Your turn, Maur," Lizzie admonished her. "She stopped playing, so you have to give me one card."

"Yeah, Liz, I know," she grumbled back, not caring which card she picked when she threw one on the stack between them.

"You don't concentrate," Lizzie complained. "Where are you with your thoughts?"

"With Mom and Dad," Maureen whispered. "And Dickie. I wanna know where they went with them."

"Yeeeaaah," Lizzie whined.

"Don't remind me," Kathleen grumbled. Just for a second she looked up at her sisters, then she fixated on the cards again.

Her thoughts were dark. They revolved around their situation in general and the fact that their guards were men in particular.

_Mom and Maureen don't think that I know what happened? I know. And I know that this man hurt Mom badly. She was crying._

Kathleen was close to tears herself. She was scared, more scared than she had thought she could ever be.

_Maybe Lizzie really is oblivious to this special threat. Don't tell her. The guns are enough to deal with._ She took a deep breath. It did not soothe her stirred mind and churning insides. _I know it can happen to us, too. God, please look out for us and prevent us from being subjected to this. Please, God, protect my brother and sisters, my mom and my dad and me. We've been good kids, so why has this happened to us? Why is our family being punished? What do they want from Dad?_

"Can we play _Yahtzee_?" she suddenly asked.

Her sisters just stared at her for a moment, then Lizzie turned to search her game box for the requested game.

xxx

John coughed painfully. His stomach hurt badly from the blow he had taken. As before he sat leaning against the post, his hands cuffed behind it. This time his ankles were tied with rope, too. His mouth was taped to prevent him from screaming.

Unfortunately it prevented him from breathing sufficiently, too.

The coughs blew through his nose and caught in his chest. He felt sick, but all he could do was to suppress it. If he threw up, he could not spit it out. That was the last thing he needed.

_Hope they don't hurt them,_ he thought. _Please, don't let them hurt Elliot and Kathy, least of all the kids._

_Damn! I was so stupid. Elliot was perfectly right. I didn't think for a minute._

Once again he tried to find another nail or anything else he could use to open the cuffs, but there was nothing. They had taken care of that. He was thoroughly put out of action.

_This time I'm right. I _am_ in the middle of a conspiracy, a conspiracy to get Pablo Mendoza out of jail._

_And there's nothing I can do. There's nothing Elliot could do._

_I just hope that Fin and Olivia will put two and two together and mobilize the cavalry._

He sighed through the nose. _He_ could do nothing but to wait for their colleagues to do the math and come to the rescue.

xxx

**Lavender residence**

"Someone returned the car," one of the snipers told Simmons over the radio. "A Hispanic, in his mid-twenties, black hair. He vanished into the house."

_He brought it back because Elliot will need it tomorrow morning,_ Cragen thought. It caused him chills on his back. The simple idea that one of his detectives, a man he regarded as close as a son, was subjected to the raw force and cruelty of a whole bunch of men made him sick and scared him, too. He could see them on the black and white monitor, masked, dark figures whose mere sight filled him with uneasiness. How the hell was Elliot supposed to feel? They did not just stand there. They, at least this one currently talking with him, played with him. And the subdued tone in which Elliot had been speaking when he answered the perp's questions about his name and rank, was so strange to Cragen's ears that he could not relate it to his detective at all.

He looked at Olivia. Elliot's partner sat in front of the surveillance equipment so tense that she might fly apart at the slightest noise or touch. While he still was trying to figure out how to address her, she turned to him.

"That bastard! What the heck does he think he's doing?"

"Forcing him under his control," Cragen murmured.

"He doesn't need to do _that_ to him," she whispered, turning back to the screen on her chair. "The threat against his family would be all he needs."

Cragen did not know what to answer. She was right. He suspected that it was about revenge what this guy was doing there.

Already brooding again while she watched, Olivia did not expect an answer. To be honest, she harbored the same thought. It just hurt so damned much to think about it. It was what she had warned him of.

It was that… and so much more.

_Why didn't I call earlier, _she wondered. _All__Sunday I had this strange feeling in my gut. But no, I decided against it. I decided against the stupid barbecue, because I did not want to offend Kathy by proving our good work-relationship to her while they are shipping rough waters._

She sighed.

_He's really playing with him. And threatening to take off his mask… that should scare the living shit out of my partner. We know what it implies. It means death._

Her insides were knotted to a single, torturing ball that lay heavy in her gut. Guilt ate at her. Over and over again she told herself that there had been no way for her to know that he was in trouble.

_Trouble?! That's the biggest understatement!_

_I should have been more cautious,_ she reprimanded herself. She remembered occasions during their partnership when she thought that he had been overcautious. That was something that she clearly disliked and she got quickly fed up with him playing the protector.

_I got so angry with him when he asked for the protective detail in the Plummer case. He was just worried and I got mad at him._

Back at that moment when she noticed the FBI agents following her, she could have hit him. Sure enough it made her drive the long way out to Queens, to ring him out of his bed and chew his ass.

_When you can't trust your partner, Elliot, it is time to get a new one!_

She remembered it as clearly as if it were yesterday that she said that to him. No, yelled at him.

_Yesterday! When she had failed him!_

It reminded her of one of their first cases early in their partnership. When Richard White had been stalking her, Elliot had been there for her, offered his support and placated her with banter when she tried to complain. One conversation ascended from the depths of her memory.

He had been _in the neighborhood_ to pick her up for work. That memory drew a bitter chuckle from her as she thought of him appearing on her threshold early in the morning, already with their squad car.

_I sure as hell would not drive out to Queens to save your ass!_

She had said it in jest… and now felt terribly reminded of the previous day. She did not drive out to Queens. She did nothing! She had failed him!

A dry sob shook her body with the memories and the realization that she had let him down.

"_I have to__… to… obey to your... orders... I… have to submit."_

These words burned her soul like hell's fire.

_Why didn't I realize it earlier?! We could have gotten them all out by now! It wouldn't have escalated like that… and… and…_

She swallowed. They had separated them. Who was gone? They had to find out. And then they had to find them, before they could strike here to free them.

Her brooding found an abrupt end when she heard and watched what was happening over there in her partner's home next.

xxx

**Stabler residence**

Elliot went stiff to the touch. The bare hand seemed to burn his skin. It touched ever so lightly, but still it was like a hot iron for him.

His breath caught in his lungs. Firmly he kept his eyes shut. He knew: If he would see Barry's face he would die… as would Kathy and the kids.

When Barry stepped even closer he felt his clothes brush over his bare chest and his breath against his face. Instinctively he shrank back.

"Whoah!" Barry shushed. "Don't… move…"

Elliot bit his lower lip. This was so humiliating. The whole situation left him so vulnerable that he could not begin to understand it. It was all about control. To know that did not make it less painful, especially as he knew the game. Just this time he was not the one playing it, this time he was the one being played. They had stripped him of every form of control he had. And the hand on his shoulder, as light as it was resting there right at the moment, made it all too palpable.

The fingers closed just a fraction tighter.

"Come on over here," Barry ordered and lightly directed him backwards. He felt the detective resist, hearing his breath coming and going deep and strained, slightly shaking. Still, he made first one tentative step, then a few more, till Barry stopped him.

"Don't move."

Barry let go and Elliot could hear him push the easy chair aside. _What's he doing? Making room… room for what?_

Automatically he lowered his head again. When he was suddenly touched again, it was two fingertips under his chin that made him raise his head.

"I want to see your face," Barry grumbled. "I want to see your eyes, closed or not… it'd be better you'd keep them closed."

Elliot bit his lower lip to try and keep his emotions in check until he tasted blood.

"Elliot! No one said you should mutilate yourself." Barry snickered. With his index finger he trailed from the chin down to the mould at the base of his neck, followed the left collarbone and over the shoulder. Reaching it, he placed his whole hand on the firm curve. He let it rest there until he felt the trembling under its touch ease.

"Take off your shoes," he ordered, letting go of Elliot. "C'mon."

Reluctantly Elliot squatted down to reach for the laces. Once he had fingered them open, he stood and toed the shoes off.

"Good. Now your suit pants."

Elliot swallowed. His lips opened and moved as if he wanted to say something but was still be contemplating what it would be.

"C'mon, Elliot. We don't have all day."

In fact they did, but Barry was not fond of waiting. So he urged the detective to open and slip down the trousers. Once they were gone he took hold of his right upper arm, just pulling a fraction, so that Elliot made two shaky steps diagonally forward to stand there where the easy chair had been.

"Sit down."

_What?_

"I don't want to constantly push, Elliot. Tell me what you have to do."

"I… have to follow your orders," he said lowly, his voice fading to barely audible.

"Yeah. So why don't you do so? You shall sit down."

Slowly Elliot squatted down again, feeling behind himself, but there was nothing to sit on, so he went down the whole way, till his fingertips touched the carpet.

"Sit!"

_Okay, that's it,_ Elliot thought. _Get me down in front of you again. Lord, please, why are you letting them do that?_ But he sat down, slightly leaning back, supporting himself with the left arm. He heard footfall and then his ankles were grabbed.

Panic took hold of his heart at once.

"No!" he cried out. "No! Let go! Don't!"

"Ssshh…," Barry soothed, squatting down next to Elliot again. It was obvious that the detective was about to lose it. He took his right hand and lifted it until the fingertips brushed over Barry's undisguised face.

Elliot gasped, pressing his eyes so hard shut that he started to see colorful spots. He froze.

"Ssssshhhh…"

The sound sent shivers down Elliot's spine. He clenched his teeth. The breaths through his nose were coming and going painfully and faster with every second Barry was holding his hand to his face.

Then Barry broke this contact, but did not release Elliot's hand. He held the right with his left, laying his own right hand on the detective's chest again.

"Hmmm…!" Elliot sharply drew in air through his nose, but forced himself not to move. Now he felt rope wind around his ankles. Involuntarily he moaned when the men pulled on the ropes to fasten them to the ends of the coffee table, spreading his legs wide.

Elliot gasped, once, twice… automatically bowing forward, till Barry's hand forced him back upright. He felt dizzy, fear searing through his chest. His blood rushed through his veins and made his temples throb. Heat rose inside of him. He reared under Barry's hands, knowing that there was no escape for him.

"Ssssshhhh…"

"Don't…" He grimaced, almost sobbed as he drew in one painful breath after the other.

Then Barry started to push.

"No! No, don't… please…"

Barry chuckled.

"You sound as if I'd be about to kill you," he snickered. "I don't even hurt you. You have any scratches? Bruises? C'mon, don't be a baby. Just lie down." He sneered at the detective who was stricken with fear.

Elliot forced himself to draw deep breaths. He did not want to show his emotions, but he was beyond control about them as well.

_Do it,_ Elliot thought. _He just wants you lying to his feet, being degraded, being helpless… obviously helpless. C'mon, Elliot, it's not about hurting you physically. They still need you to testify tomorrow._

With one extra deep breath he tried to give up the tension in his muscles, lower his defense and to give in to his captor's urging.

Barry smiled to himself, marveling at the fluttering muscles. _Just like young horses, ready to be broken in. They fear the tack and are tense under your touch until they get accustomed to the weight and feel of saddle and rider._

"I'm surprised by the level of trust you have in me," Barry said, as he lightly stroke Elliot's heaving chest with his thumb.

_Trust?!_ Elliot almost cried out loud. He had no other choice but to surrender! It was _not_ a matter of trust!

The next push was enough to drive him backwards.

When his shoulder blades hit the carpet, Elliot gasped. He froze. The ropes holding his ankles tightened painfully, putting his whole body under strain. More hands grabbed his wrists to tie them up, too.

Now any attempt of restraining himself was thwarted. Panic hit full force and his eyes flew open.

"Aaahhh!"

His scream hitched in his throat and came out as a mere groan. Desperately he wriggled in the men's clasp, trying to break free from forces too powerful to resist.

He did not notice anything around him. So he did not register that for a matter of split seconds his gaze fell onto Barry, before the man could pull his mask down again.

Elliot's arms were pressed down, ropes attached to his wrists, tightening, being tied to other furniture, forcing him into spread eagle position.

He gasped, but could not get air into his lungs. They seemed to shut down and refuse to work. Panic widened his eyes. Nothing was to be seen of Barry. All he could see were black masks and everything else quickly changed to darkness, too, as lack of oxygen started to rob him of his consciousness.

He did not notice that Doc drew a clear liquid into a syringe, he merely felt the sting in his arm when it was injected. But then he could draw in a painful breath and the dark shadows faded to white and back to pictures as the sedative slowly became effective.

For a few seconds his eyes locked with the dark brown ones of Doc.

Doc stared into the fearful widened eyes. Their bright blue transported silent pleas, but Doc barely shook his head. Just a split second before he went limp in his bondage and closed his eyes, Doc saw the tiny fire in the detective's eyes die.

* * *

tbc… 


	29. Chapter 29

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to this great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews:D

I think that at least one of you is too impatient. On the other hand, I'm still new so that you don't know if I'm trustworthy when it's coming down to creating happy endings. So I guess a little suspiciousness is okay. :D I had no idea where this story would go when I started it, and when I think about that it was supposed to be around 10 to 15 chapters... LOL

I hope you all will stay with the Stablers, the team and me until everything is resolved.

Those of you who know a bit more about me, already look forward to the sequel, so enjoy that it's becoming better towards the end of this one, because it won't stay this way... :)

Oh, btw... I think I must do something right, LOL, because my perps here and in "_The Locust_" are getting death threats... :D Thank you!

**29**

**Lavender residence**

"No!" Olivia screamed.

She jumped up from her seat in front of the surveillance equipment, ready to storm over into the other house to take the men down who held her partner captive.

Cragen caught her and wrapped his arms around her from behind.

"No! Let go of me! Let go!" she yelled, reared and kicked.

Then she saw her partner close his eyes. She froze. There was no way to know if he was all right now. He was pale and his body went limp.

"Elliot! No! Fight!"

Olivia rushed to the monitor, addressing it pleadingly.

"C'mon, partner! Don't give up. Please! We're here. We're going to help you. We'll get you all out."

She was close to sobbing.

"We have positive ID," Simmons suddenly told them. "Guy's name is Enrique _La Hoja_ Mendoza. He's one of Pablo's brothers."

"You got his ID from..."

"...when he took off the mask," Simmons confirmed Cragen's started question. "He was arrested in Brooklyn for drug trade five years ago, no conviction. Nobody's heard from him since."

"So he's gotta be pissed that his brother's in jail," Olivia assumed, her view still glued to the monitor, "and he takes it out on them." She swallowed thickly. "La hoja… means the blade, right? Like the big one he's wearing in a sheath on his belt?" She looked even closer at the screen, ready to crawl into it to help and comfort her partner who lay helpless on his back on the floor of his living room.

_Look at that awful cut across his chest,_ she thought. _I wish I could help you. Having to sit and watch is driving me mad._

"Mendoza's brothers were not involved in the modern slave trade he maintained together with Domingo," Cragen thought aloud. "None of them could be connected with the whorehouse in any way. We had no reason to hold them."

"You do now," Simmons said. "This _is_ Enrique Mendoza." He opened a picture taken from the mini camera on his laptop and compared it with a file to give them proof. _La Hoja_ had not much changed since he had been arrested in Brooklyn. He still had the same dark unruly hair and the dark brown eyes stared coldly with hatred in the camera.

"Okay," Cragen said. "If this is Mendoza's brother, who could be the other men?"

"He has two other brothers and several cousins," Olivia threw in. "Not all of them will participate in this operation, but I guess we can assume that he won't be alone, either."

"Didn't Fin say that Moreno organized rooms for them in Brooklyn?" Cragen wondered. "Maybe Pablo's little brother reactivated some of his old friends."

"To help him to go through with taking a cop and his family hostages," Olivia mused. "Maybe. I'll call Fin to give him the new information."

Cragen nodded and she hurried to call her colleague.

xxx

**Brooklyn**

Fin got her call when they were about to enter the apartment building Moreno had named for them. He listened closely and when she finished, Simmons sent him a picture of Enrique Mendoza, too.

"They identified one guy," he said to Bobby and showed him his cell phone display. "Here."

"So we have something to work with."

"Yeah."

They entered the building and rang the landlord's door bell. A Latina in her forties greeted them. She was slim and tall with still raven black hair that fell over her shoulders. She was wearing a lacy gold shawl over a form fitting turquoise top with a shocking pink short skirt and fish net stockings that vanished in black high heel boots, just below her knees. They seemed to be expensive clothes, but she looked still trashy.

"Ooo, brown sugar," she purred when she spotted Fin.

The detectives looked at each other and Bobby had to suppress a smirk. _Go ahead,_ he signaled Fin with a twitch of his eyebrow.

"Mrs. Alvarez," he addressed her by the name on the plate next to the bell's button and flashed his badge. "We're here to talk with you about one of your tenants."

The vanishing smile made it obvious that she was disappointed.

"Yes, Detective?"

"Is one of your renters named Moreno?"

"Oh, I don't know. I'd have to check my files."

"You have them here in your apartment?" Fin asked, already closing in on her and she automatically stepped back to let him in. She frowned at the big cop who was following him. There was something about him that made her uncomfortable.

"Mrs. Alvarez…"

"Señorita," she corrected, grinning at him. "Esmeralda, Esme Alvarez. I'm not married."

"Sí, Señorita Alvarez," Fin played her game. "Can you please check it for us?"

"_Naturalmente_."

She hurried over to a desk and got a folder from the shelf above it to sit down and flip through it.

"Hmmm… Here's one Moreno. Yes, Pedro Moreno. He rented apartment 27b."

"When was the last time you saw him? Is he here?"

"Not right now. If I think about it… I haven't seen him since Saturday."

"Can you describe him?" Fin encouraged her with a small smile. Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Bobby's gaze was wandering through the room. Soon he would wander himself, picking up things. Inwardly Fin chuckled.

"He's in his thirties, long face, dark eyes, black hair…" She chuckled, put her finger on the spot between upper lip and nose. "A small moustache, twirled… and a cute ass."

"So he's quite a sight when he's leaving, right?" Bobby smirked, having a closer look at a tapestry sort of thing hanging on the wall.

"Oh, yes, he is," she confirmed, frowning again at him. She wanted to concentrate on the cute black man. She was as interested in Bobby as in a root treatment. That he roamed around, scanning everything, annoyed her.

"You could see his backside?" Bobby pressed. "In his wheelchair?"

"Wheelchair?" Once more she chuckled. "He doesn't have a wheelchair. Madre Dio, has he two beautiful working legs."

"Oh really!?" Bobby glanced at Fin with false amusement. "Then you probably mean another Moreno. Show her the picture, Fin."

So Fin got out his cell phone again and presented the display. "Is this the guy?"

"Sí, sí," she nodded forcefully. "That's Señor Moreno."

"So we have the right one," Bobby shouted thrilled, gesturing Fin. "And you didn't believe me."

"Now I do," Fin said. "Señorita Alvarez…"

"Yes, cariño?" she purred. "Call me Esme."

_Oh no…_ "How long has Señor Moreno been renting the apartment? And has he had any visitors while he has been here?"

"He rented it five months ago and usually he's pretty silent. Just once I was up there when he threw a party."

"A party? Who was there?"

"Some guys, all his kind… I was up there with some girls."

"Oh," Bobby threw in. "You rent more than just apartments! That's interesting, isn't it, Fin?"

"Yep. Tell us more about his guests. You said they're all his kind… what do you mean with _his _kind?"

"South Americans," she said, pushing her lower lip out, pouting. "When me and my friends _visited_ the guys up there, they were all from down there. All Columbians." Obviously she did not like them, but that did not prevent her from taking their money for _special services_.

"You know any of these guys?" Fin asked.

"Paco and Nacho were among them."

"Would you recognize the others?"

"Don't know… maybe yes, maybe no."

"Can you be a bit more specific?" Fin demanded. "And we need to see the apartment."

"To do that you need more than just your good looks, cariño," she chuckled.

"Oh… so you'd like it better if we call vice?"

She glowered at him from under her long black lashes.

"Sí," Bobby chimed in. "I think we should call them, take this house apart. Unless…"

"Unless…?"

"She gives up her Columbian brothers. That could convince us not to make the call." The phone in his hand was a visual reminder of his threat.

"I ain't no Columbian hoochie," she ranted. "And I sure as hell ain't no damned illegal like them. I got my green card!"

Bobby chuckled. "So, what are you then? Dominican, Bolivian?"

"Hell, no!" she snapped, and looking smug she said, "I'm Spanish."

Now Bobby laughed out loud.

"What's so funny?"

"_Perdóname_, but you're as Spanish as he's Caucasian," he gestured at Fin.

"I _am_ Spanish," she insisted.

"No, you're not. Everything here tells me that. This…" he pointed behind him, "is a Cuna _mola_, made only by the Indians inhabiting the San Blas Islands near the Colombia-Panama border. The designs were originally based on patterns in brain coral, but they expanded their repertoire to include bird and animal designs to satisfy the tourists. The baskets over there, too, are woven of jute, another traditional Colombian handicraft. You've kept them because they remind you of home. You can pretend to be something else as long as you want, but they'll always give you away."

"These are souvenirs," she replied. "From vacation in Columbia."

"Oh, really?" Bobby fingered the shawl she wore. "This _panolón_ is old… from your grandma? Did she have the same job as you? Special services? Maybe in one of the clubs in Cartagena or Barranquilla?"

"What do you want to…?"

"You can't deny what you are. _Aunque la mona se viste de seda, mona se queda_."

"_Hijo de puta_!" she screamed and slapped him in the face.

When she lunged out with the other hand, too, he intercepted it and pulled her closer.

"Ouch," he simply said, staring directly into her eyes. That he did not become furious was more frightening than a burst of rage.

She stared right back into his dark chocolate eyes and started to shiver.

"You're under arrest for assault on a police officer," Bobby coldly said. "You have the right to remain silent…"

"Okay, okay… what do you want?" she whined.

Well, that worked fast.

"All you know about Moreno and his guests," Fin explained. "Everything from the day he first came here to the moment you last saw him. And we want to see his apartment."

"I can't…" she tried to say, but one look at both the determined faces told her that she better shut up. Shut up and then start to talk. Esme talked fast and in detail and when she was finished the two detectives were confident they would be able to identify the other attackers who invaded Stabler's home and took him and his family hostage.

When they left, Fin turned to his former partner.

"Damn, Bobby. You haven't changed a bit. How did you know all that about her stuff?"

"I stuffed my brain with it when we were investigating an art theft," he murmured, apparently lost in thought. "I counted on her not even expecting anyone to know what it is that she has."

Fin laughed. "That figures. And what the hell did you say to her anyway?"

"Even a monkey dressed in silk is still a monkey," Bobby replied, now an innocent smile on his lips, but a mischievous spark in his eyes. He enjoyed such games.

Fin smirked. "Yeah, in her place, I'd have hit you, too."

xxx

**Stabler residence**

"You really have some pretty girls here," Barry said, flipping through one of the big photo albums he had picked out of the shelf. He sat in the easy chair right over Elliot who still was lying bound on the floor.

The detective did not move. His eyes were closed and his chest slightly rose and fell with every breath he took.

"Awww... this one's really a little cutie!" He grinned under the mask. "Is this your firstborn? Maureen?"

Elliot did not react.

Turning in the chair, Barry swung his legs over the armrest. _Yeah, that's comfortable..._ He looked down at his bound captive. Still his eyes were closed. He looked relaxed, but that was most likely deceiving. On his cheeks was a five o'clock shadow. His outstretched arms were not tense, just held by the rope that cut in his wrists.

The burn on his right shoulder was red and stood in strong contrast to his skin that only had a soft tan because his job did not leave him much time off duty. The same applied to the cut across his chest.

Barry grinned. Elliot's blue briefs reminded him of the detective's eyes. The legs were strong and muscular, trained to follow suspects and carry him through town walking from questioning to questioning.

"Hey, c'mon. Tell me. Is this Maureen?"

Barry held up the album for him, but Elliot still did not move. Not a single muscle twitched. Barry became angry.

"You're annoying me, Elliot. I thought I made clear what would happen if you defy me."

Nothing.

"Elliot! Stop sulking and look at me."

Still no movement.

"Elliot!"

Barry did not know how to react. He sensed that the detective was not actively defying him. Something was wrong. He sat up in the easy chair, fixating Elliot with his gaze. Then he looked back down at the photo album again. What a nice family. Man and wife and four kids.

He put this book away to pick up another, older one. When he opened it, he also met these haunting blue eyes, but they belonged to another face, the face of a young man in uniform, surrounded by his family, his wife and six kids, four boys and two girls.

_Must be his father,_ Barry thought. _Then these are his siblings… and where's he?_

He looked at it thoroughly, but he really could not tell them apart. There were two boys who could be Elliot, maybe even the one in the second row.

"Hey!" He put his foot under Elliot's side and pushed. "Elliot!"

Still he got no reaction from the detective.

"Elliot! I want you to tell me where you are on this picture here." He held up the book for him, but Elliot did not look at it.

Dead to the world might be the best description of Elliot's condition. It annoyed the hell out of Barry. He gestured to Doc and they met in the kitchen.

"He's not unconscious, is he?" Barry asked.

Tentatively Doc shook his head no.

"He's ignoring me."

"You could call it that," Doc mumbled.

"And what do you call it? He's just disobedient, denying cooperation."

"I call it self-defense."

Barry snorted.

"Yeah, it's the only form he has left: refusal."

"The only one he can't afford," Barry grumbled.

"It's nothing he's doing consciously. It's not defiance. He just shut down."

"How do I get him back?"

Doc shrugged. "I don't know. I can't tell how far you've pushed him. Maybe he's not coming back… not till tomorrow morning."

Behind his glasses Barry glared at the doctor. He looked over to where Elliot was lying bound. Still his eyes were closed, his body limp in the bondage. It almost looked as if he was unconscious.

xxx

Doc's barely noticeable shake of the head would haunt him forever. When Elliot had looked up at him, the man just had injected him with something. That rose memories of the previous night and at once Elliot felt sick to his stomach at the thought that he did not know what was now running through his veins. It could be anything!

Even if he slowly relaxed, and it was more or less obvious that it was the medicament that helped him to calm down, he still was scared to death.

He did not want to be unconscious again. After his loss of control that would mean that he could not even follow the events around him.

He swallowed. There was nothing he wanted more than to get to his kids, but Barry would not let him. No! He wanted his kids to be out of danger, but there was nothing he could do... nothing else than to comply.

In the second he had looked up and seen Doc shake his head, it all had been too much. He just lay back and followed his mind to a place where he was momentarily out of reach for his captor. As his eyes were closed it was dark there, a comforting blackness. Even sounds were blocked out. He heard someone speak, but it was not more than a low unintelligible murmur.

His body felt somewhat numb as he lay in the bonds that spread his limbs. The voice faded. It sounded as if he was under water. He also felt as if he drifted in the depths of a pond, his pulse thumping in his ear.

It was the only refuge he had. To retreat to this place was the only way he could get some desperately needed rest. When he was injected with the relaxant, it did not take much to let him slip away and he was content to stay there for the time being.

Toned down by the water a voice reached out for him. It came closer and soon was easier to hear. It sounded urging. Still there were the thumps of his own heartbeat and the rushes and gurgles of water. Only slowly the sound became clear enough to be recognized as his name.

"Elliot!"

Elliot still lay and waited. He could not determine whose voice he was hearing. It just started to be recognized as voice at all.

Something brushed over his skin and he flinched away from the touch. It invaded his personal space on physical and mental basis and made his stomach knot tight. The pain made him gasp and catapulted him out of his trancelike state.

"Elliot," he heard Barry's voice and stiffened up. "You better come back now or I'll get one of your girls here. You can be sure that you won't like what I'll do to her."

So Elliot groaned and opened his eyes.

"Welcome back," Barry purred.

_Wish I could break your teeth out and blow your head off your shoulders,_ Elliot thought, but did not react visibly or audibly. He just lay there and stared at the ceiling.

"Answer me a question," Barry said, holding up the picture he had studied earlier. "Who of those are you?"

Reluctantly Elliot turned his gaze to the photo. He swallowed when he saw his family. Memories rose and he tried to chase them away.

"The second row on the right," he said tonelessly.

Barry turned the picture to have a thorough look at it.

"You're the only one who isn't smiling," he said. "Why is that?"

"I had the flu," Elliot said.

Barry laughed. "Don't lie to me. Tell me why you were not laughing."

Elliot swallowed. Once more he felt sick. He did not want to tell this guy about his family, especially not about his father.

"You're right next to your father, surrounded by your siblings… the weather seems to have been nice… So what was the problem? His hand on your shoulder? Did he hurt you?"

Inwardly Elliot rolled his eyes, outwardly did nothing at all. Memories flooded back and before he could think a second time about it, he started to talk.

"I was doing the dishes… and a glass slipped."

"And?" Barry pushed when he did not continue.

"It broke on the floor. Dad was really mad at me."

"Did he beat you?" He searched for reactions. "Was it always this way? That you were his whipping boy when something went wrong?"

"He didn't..."

"No, Elliot! Tell me the truth! How often did he beat you? Once in a while or on a regular basis?"

Elliot chose to remain silent. He was not fond of the idea to share this past with Barry.

"Do I have to remind you of your duty?" Barry asked. "You have to obey! Now tell me!"

Turning his head to the side, Elliot tried to lock his stare on some piece of furniture as an anchor point, but Barry did not let him. Grabbing his chin he forced him to face him again.

"Don't retreat, Elliot!" he scolded. "This kind of behavior is unacceptable. And it's my last warning! Tell me or bear the consequences!"

While he spoke, he put one fingertip back down on the brand to trace the contours. The pain made Elliot clench his teeth. It was everything he needed to be reminded of its symbolism, that Barry believed that he was now his…

"Yes, he did," he pressed through gritted teeth. "He beat me. I was one of two of us whom he beat."

"Regularly?"

Elliot closed his eyes. He wanted to escape back to the dark and quiet place he had been at before, but knew that he could not.

"Yes."

It came soft and low, but still understandable. Under his mask Barry sneered at him.

"How?" he asked.

Elliot looked up at him. _How? What do you mean, how?_ His stomach rumbled. Only one person except for his parents and siblings knew what his childhood had been like. The only person he trusted more than anyone else, because he trusted her on another level than he trusted his partner, Olivia. Kathy.

He had told his wife after an incident early in their marriage that left him scared, shaken to the bone, because it reminded him so much of his father. It stoked his fears to become like the man he had first respected and then feared for many years.

This emotional striptease Barry forced on him left him already sick, but now he felt tremors pass through his body. They made his muscles contract so that he felt the ropes holding him again. Elliot prayed that Barry would not notice anything and pick up the thread that would lead him to one of the worst moments in his whole life.

"How did he beat you? With his flat hand? His fist? Or did he use something?"

If he would not have hated Barry before, he would hate him now. It was the pain in his shoulder and the thought of his family that made him answer.

"Both. And sometimes… he…" Elliot swallowed. "He also… used his belt."

"I bet that hurt," Barry snickered and let go of him to pick up the photo album again. He stuck the removed picture back in and turned the pages until he found another one. "What about this one?" he asked, holding it up for Elliot to see. It showed father and son on the bank of a lake, the boy holding up a large fish. This time it was clear to see that the boy was a young Elliot. "You don't look happy there either."

"Cause I didn't catch it," he admitted.

"Hmmm… looks like you did."

"A pose Dad wanted to have for the picture," Elliot explained in a husky voice. His mouth and throat were dry. "I hooked it, but he took the rod and got it into the boat."

"Why did he do that?" Barry already knew the answer and even got it confirmed by the pained expression in Elliot's eyes. But he wanted the detective to tell him.

Elliot felt the pressure behind the question. He swallowed. It was one step deeper into the domination game Barry was playing. To tell him what his father did and why and in what it resulted, would give the perp more ammunition. But he was willing to take it as long as the men left his kids alone.

"He did not trust me to accomplish anything," he said. "He showed me how to fish… and when I hooked one, he took it away from me because he did not trust me to finish what I had begun."

"He thought that you're a failure." This was no question but a statement. Elliot swallowed.

"Yes."

"And he reminded you of that each time he got an opportunity to do so, right?"

For a moment Elliot closed his eyes to try and handle his rising emotions. He felt more tremors and his lips quivered. By then a thin layer of sweat covered his body.

"Yes, he did," he finally admitted, his stomach knotting up even more.

"Yeah, that explains a lot," Barry murmured. "Obviously you subconsciously try to meet his expectations."

Elliot stared right at the triangular mirrors, but did not dare to reveal his emotions. At least he hoped that the stare he could see in the glasses gave nothing away.

"Yeah, cause you are a failure. You failed with the case, failed your colleagues… and if you're not cautious you'll also fail your family."

Now Elliot's brows furrowed.

"Have you ever beat your kids?" Barry asked innocently.

"Hell, no!" Elliot snapped. "I would never raise my hand against them!"

"Oh, come on, Elliot," Barry teased. "Even the gentlest parents have smacked their children at least once in a moment of frustration or anger, or maybe fear when they have wandered off in the store. A guy like you, who's used to violence...do you seriously expect me to believe you've never once spanked any of your kids?"

In his cheeks Elliot could feel warmth rise and in the glasses above him he unfortunately saw that they became a traitorous shade of red as he blushed.

Barry laughed out loud.

"Obviously you remember something," he chuckled. "C'mon, Elliot. Tell me!"

But he just ground his teeth.

Obviously he hesitated too long for Barry's liking, because he laid his flat hand over the brand on Elliot's right shoulder and pressed.

"Uuughhh," Elliot groaned. He tried to escape and that tightened the ropes, this time hurting his joints as he increased the strain on them.

"Answer me!"

With some effort Elliot suppressed a sob. Never before had he talked with someone about this and now he should open himself up to the man who held him hostage. It was enough to make him absolutely sick and more sweat glistened on his body.

"Just once," he whispered.

"Who?"

Elliot closed his eyes and sucked in air through his nose. It was to protect them, just that.

"Maureen."

"Why?"

_You're not curious, are you?_ Elliot shivered. _Why can't you just let it go?_

"She… still was a toddler," he said tonelessly. "She… spilled grape juice on the new carpet."

"Oh, she ruined your precious carpet… and what did you do?"

"I hit her…" A solitary tear trickled down his left cheek when he blinked. "It was the only time. It gave me the shock of my life."

"I believe that," Barry chuckled. He put the picture back into the book and the album on the coffee table. When he looked back at Elliot, he saw tremors run through the detective's body. That made him smirk. For a few minutes he just watched him.

"Thank you, Elliot," Barry finally said.

Elliot frowned. "What for?"

"That you've been so honest with me."

_Fuck you!_

"Really, Elliot, I'm proud of you." He gave him a moment to respond, but there was no reaction. "You did great."

Barry stood up and left the living room. So Elliot closed his eyes and tried to relax again, but it did not work. His body was way too tense right now. Still his shoulder hurt from the hard touch on the brand. When he heard the flush of the toilet he flinched. Then footfall approached him and the rope on his right ankle tightened just before it went loose.

"It's almost dinner time," Barry said, releasing the left leg, too. "Can you please prepare something for us… and you and the girls?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Just check out what you can find." With that he cut the ropes on Elliot's wrists. He took the right arm up and massaged the upper arm and the shoulder. Then he pulled him in a sitting position. "I won't have to hobble you again, will I?" he innocently asked when he also massaged the left arm.

"No."

"Okay… Then get up and go."

Obediently Elliot tried to follow the order, but he could not, still his legs were stiff.

"I… I still… need a moment," he mumbled.

"Sore legs? I didn't think that the bondage was that tight."

"It…it's already getting better."

Three minutes later he tried again and stood up. Slowly he padded over towards the kitchen, but then he stopped and turned. He looked at his clothes lying on the floor.

"Later," Barry said. "Before your girls come down."

So Elliot went into the kitchen and to the cupboard and fridge to see what he could possibly make to eat.

Barry did not follow him and let him have his way. He was confident enough to leave him alone and to turn his back on him, so he could not notice that the humble look with the downcast eyes fleetingly vanished to make room for a quick glance in which rage and defiance were burning.

* * *

tbc... 


	30. Chapter 30

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. :D This chapter is for _EnforcerAndAccuserFan_ and _JO_. Thanks for the inspiration. :)

I have to make one thing clear, I guess. As I'm not from the states, I did not know SVU's season 5 when I started this story. So I did not know Casey Novak and did not know about "Shaken" or any other later episode. I went with what I knew and much of the information I used for the story I got later after getting the season 2 and 3 DVDs and chatting with new friends from FFN. All I know about "Ripped" is the scene with Elliot and Hendrix… LOL So 48 Hours is set approximately in the middle of season 3… at least after "Wrath".

**30**

**Lavender residence**

Helplessly Olivia had to watch how Mendoza grabbed Elliot's chin to force him to face him again. Was he actually asking him if he had been beaten by his father? She could not believe it and it was no surprise to her that Elliot tried to avoid the direction the conversation took.

"_Don't retreat, Elliot!" __Mendoza scolded. "This kind of behavior is unacceptable. And it's my last warning! Tell me or bear the consequences!"_

She almost crawled into the monitor to get a better view when she saw that the man trailed a fingertip over her partner's right shoulder. It looked like a caress, but Elliot clenched his teeth to fight the pain. From the angle the camera offered, Olivia could not see the brand.

"_Yes, he did," he pressed through gritted teeth. "He beat me. I was one of two of us whom he beat."_

"_Regularly?"_

She saw Elliot close his eyes. As curiously as Mendoza she awaited his reaction… and was quite surprised when she heard it, _"Yes."_

"What?"

Olivia was shocked. This revelation was absolutely news to her. She was left speechless and was not prepared for the answer Elliot gave when Mendoza asked him about how he had been beaten.

"_Both. And sometimes… he__… he also… used his belt."_

She heard the Columbian snicker.

_The belt?_ Olivia mused. _Elliot was beaten by his father with a belt? Regularly?_

It gave her the creeps. He never had said a word about that to her. Obviously it was too painful or too embarrassing for him to admit. That he now was forced to talk about it with his captor had to be painfully humiliating.

_But why has he never told me? I guess it doesn't really matter. My partner is a very private person about some things, and he probably just preferred to leave the past in the past. It does explain a lot about his temper, though._

Once more Mendoza held up a picture. From the ensuing conversation Olivia got the impression that she knew the photo. Once she had had a look at old family albums of the Stablers, but Elliot had not said a word about it. She thought she remembered a shot where he held a big fish. That had to be the one they were talking about.

"_I hooked it, but he took the rod and got it into the boat,"_ Elliot said right then and Olivia shuddered without knowing why. Her heart already ached for her partner and best friend and it became worse when she listened to what Mendoza said next.

"_He thought that you're a failure." This was no question but a statement._

Subconsciously Olivia rubbed over the base of her neck to open a tight collar that she did not wear. Her breath caught in her throat and her stomach knotted. She sensed movement next to her and when she looked around Cragen settled into the chair on her left side.

"What are they doing?" he asked.

"This guy's playing with him," Olivia said. Maybe her pain was visible in her eyes and features or audible in her voice, because her captain's expression became concerned.

"_Yeah, that explains a lot," __Mendoza murmured. "Obviously you subconsciously try to meet his expectations."_

They saw Elliot stare right at the triangular mirrored glasses, but he did not speak.

"_Yeah, cause you are a failure," Mendoza teased. "You failed with the case, failed your colleagues… and if you're not cautious you'll also fail your family."_

_Failed?_ Olivia was thunderstruck. _He didn't fail anybody… we failed him. We didn't notice that you're forcing him._

Cragen harbored similar thoughts. _I just didn't notice anything. I shouldn't have accepted the reason he gave for changing his testimony. Instead of getting mad at him I should have questioned his motives. I shouldn't have suspended him, I shouldn't…_

He was distracted from his thoughts by what they heard and watched.

"_Have you ever beat__en your kids?" Mendoza asked innocently._

"_Hell, no!" Elliot snapped. "I would never raise my hand against them!"_

"_Oh, come on, Elliot," Mendoza teased. "Even the gentlest parents have smacked their children at least once in a moment of frustration or anger, or maybe fear when they have wandered off in the store. A guy like you who's used to violence... do you seriously expect me to believe you've never once spanked any of your kids?"_

"What?!" Olivia was appalled. "Elliot would never hit a kid!"

Cragen frowned. He shared her opinion, but he remained silent.

"Honestly. He can be hot-tempered! But he would never harm a child!"

Then Olivia drew in a sharp breath and froze in her seat. Mendoza put his hand on the shoulder he had _caressed_ earlier and pressed it down to the ground. He made Elliot groan and when the detective tried to escape his bondage tightened and increased the strain on his limbs.

Olivia bit her lower lip and balled her hands to tight fists. She was so furious about this… scum putting her friend through this… interrogation that she could hardly breathe.

"_Answer me!" Mendoza yelled._

She saw how Elliot tried to keep his emotions in check. He did not look so great, sweat glistened on his body and his lips trembled from trying to keep himself in check. Then he said what felt like an emotional sledgehammer for Olivia,_ "Just once."_

_What?!_ Incredulously she stared at the monitor. Absolutely horrified, unable to believe what she had just heard, she could do nothing but listen to what Elliot told his captor, about how he had smacked Maureen because she spilled grape juice on the new carpet. She also could feel the pain that was audible in his voice when he said how shocked he had been.

_Just as shocked as I have been hearing you talk about it,_ Olivia thought. She looked at Cragen. He also seemed to be shocked by this revelation. This was so not Elliot… But they did not have time to dwell on these thoughts.

"_Thank you, Elliot," they heard Mendoza say and Elliot answer, "What for?"_

"_That you've been so honest with me."_

Elliot's expression suggested what he thought about what the perp could do with his thanks… put them someplace where the sun never shone…

"_Really, Elliot, I'm proud of you." Mendoza continued to tease him. "You did great."_

"Uuuughhh!" Screaming, Olivia jumped out of her chair, toppling it over and pacing the living room. "That son of a bitch!" she yelled. "He's playing shrink while emotionally raping my partner!"

She was ranting to herself while Cragen stood and let her blow off steam. He kept watching and gestured her to return when he saw Elliot get up and go to the kitchen.

"What's going on?" Olivia asked.

"He has asked him to prepare dinner," Cragen told her.

"What?! This scum wants something to eat? I'll give him something to eat! Wooooaaaah! I swear to God… I'm gonna cut _La Hoja's_ balls off with his own damned knife and serve 'em up with spaghetti!"

Cragen raised an eyebrow at her outbreak, one of the technicians tried to hide his grin and Simmons was chuckling.

"And after that, maybe I'll slice his chorizo up for a sandwich and see if I can make him choke on it!"

Now the cops where laughing. Mrs. Lavender who just returned with some snacks froze in her tracks and stared at Olivia aghast. When she shook off her rigor she hastily put down the tray and hurried back to the kitchen.

"Serves him right!" the detective grumbled. "He should know better than to mess with us!"

Her cell phone rang. It was Fin. She scribbled down the info he had for them and thanked him. Then she gave the notes to Simmons and he started to search for the friends of Mendoza. It took only a few minutes for him to find Paco and Nacho.

"Okay… first guy is one Francisco Hernandez. He was arrested together with Mendoza for drug trade. That time he could get out of it, but he later did two years for theft. The other one might be Ignacio Jiménez. He was a member of Pablo Mendoza's gang who did not get caught with the raid."

Olivia called Fin back to give him the new information. He and Bobby would go and dig deeper in the lives of Hernandez and Jiménez.

"So, what's going on over there?"

"They're in the kitchen."

"And? It is so silent…" It made Olivia nervous.

"I heard a door open. The others are quiet right now."

Olivia stepped as close to the window as she dared. They could not risk being seen by the hostage takers. Anything that made them suspicious could risk the Stablers' lives.

_Oh, Elliot. I want so much to help you. Can you feel that we're close? Please, I want to let you know that we're here._

Then her heart skipped a beat. She saw him through the kitchen window. He was standing and working on something. Her guts constricted when she grabbed binoculars and now could clearly see the cut across her partner's chest… and the intertwined letters of RM on his shoulder.

"What the hell…?!" she cussed. "Elliot!"

Cragen joined her and raised binoculars, too. He remained silent but one could see that he fought emotions by the play of his features.

"We have to get them out of there," Olivia said. "How about your team, Simmons? Aren't we ready to go in?"

"We don't have confirmation on all persons assumed to be in there," the lieutenant replied. "There's one person in the cellar, presumed to be your colleague, Detective Munch. Seven are on ground level, Detective Stabler, Enrique Mendoza and five other men who are guarding doors and windows."

"And the kids?" Cragen asked.

"They're upstairs…" Simmons stopped, pressing the earphone closer. "Mendoza just ordered him to go down to get something. He mentioned that _his pal_ is down there, so it must be Munch. He said earlier that the kids are upstairs."

"Okay… what about Kathy?" Olivia wanted to know.

That was a good question. They needed the answer first before they could do anything.

xxx

**Stabler residence**

Elliot stood in front of the open cupboard staring at its contents. There were green beans he could use as a side… and what else? His gaze fell on bags of hamburger buns. Hmmm…

"I could get ground meat out of the freezer for beef barbecue," he said thoughtfully. "It would have to thaw, but it would not take long."

"Then do that," Barry replied. "But don't let yourself be kept by your pal down there. You'll get the meat and come right back up again."

Elliot nodded and started towards the stairs.

"No, Elliot!" Barry stopped him. "Don't just nod… tell me."

For a second Elliot closed his eyes. Taking a deep breath he said, "I'll get the meat and come right back up again, nothing more, nothing less."

"Okay. Go."

So Elliot went down to the big freezer in the cellar, entering the room where John was held without to even glance at his friend. His gaze was downcast and he even ignored the pained groans as much as he wished to help him. He got out the meat and went straight back upstairs and to the kitchen. There he put the meat in the microwave to thaw.

Then he collected some onions and garlic as well as green bell peppers out of the baskets on the kitchen counter and started to prepare them.

At first he peeled off the brown skin of the onions and the white of the garlic. He opened the faucet to cut the onion under running water before he put it in the chopper Kathy normally used. Then he washed the bell peppers and took them to the working place below the window.

_What might Olivia be doing right now? Most likely she's still working. Or she's at home, watching television. At least she'll do normal things…_ His train of thought stumbled. _I'm doing normal things, too. It's just… it feels so odd._

His gaze was drawn out the window. It had been a sunny day, still was, not so hot as the Sunday but still warm. Not a single sign of a nearing thunderstorm, just a light breeze was moving the leaves of the neighbor's lilac…

_What's that?_

Elliot cast his eyes down, continuing with chopping. For a split second he thought he might have seen part of familiar equipment. For the same split second he had been so excited that he almost chopped his fingers instead of the peppers. So he desperately tried to concentrate solely on the task of cutting, but his view was drawn out again to explore the neighbor's garden further.

There was nothing interesting to see. But what was that? Just for a split second there had been a reflection. A reflection high up on a tree…

A shiver ran down Elliot's back. He had to pause with his task because his hand was shaking. He glanced to the side. Obviously Barry had not noticed anything.

_Good. Better it stays that way._

"What about John?" he asked. In the back of his mind he saw a SWAT team directing microphones on the house, maybe drill a hole for a camera if they managed to get to the house unnoticed. "He isn't doing so well in the cellar."

"What about him?" Barry asked back.

"He needs something to eat, too. Will he join us when the girls come down for dinner?"

"Maybe."

Elliot snorted and grabbed another pepper, chopping at it furiously before he could ask, "And what about Kathy and Dickie? Will your guys give them dinner? Or will they be selfish?"

"They'll get their share. It's part of the order."

Once again Elliot snorted. He wanted to believe him, but knew that it would be foolish to believe and trust the man calling himself _Barry_. From the start he suspected that he was a relative of Pablo Mendoza and should he have the opportunity to find out for real, he believed that that was a good guess. His gaze drifted outside again. Movement? Maybe his eyes were playing tricks on him. Maybe he hoped so desperately for someone to notice their predicament that he saw mirages.

"Stop dreaming, Elliot!" Barry reprimanded him, nudging his arm. "Get this finished!"

So Elliot finished chopping the peppers. He twisted the Tupperware chopper to mince the onion and garlic and popped the lid to get the knives out. Next he put the big frying pan on the stove and melted some butter before he threw the vegetables in to sauté them. Adding the beef he browned everything, drained it and added ketchup, mustard and brown sugar, and molasses, alone with some salt and pepper. While it simmered in the pan, he found some tomatoes and a lettuce which he washed and cut to pieces, too. He threw all in a bowl and poured some dressing over it. Then he put it on the kitchen table, got dishes out of the cupboard and turned the stove off.

"You finished?" Barry asked.

"Yes, I'm finished," Elliot replied. "To be served on the buns," he added with a nod to the mix in the big pan.

"Thanks. Go to the living room."

Elliot took a deep breath and followed the order. He knew that the men would eat first now, in two turns. Then the kids and he would be allowed in the kitchen. At least it went that way last night. He was now standing in the middle of the room and Barry joined him.

"Lie down where you've been earlier," Barry ordered. "I won't tie you up, but lie down."

Reluctantly Elliot sat down on the floor.

"Come on! You know I don't like to push."

So Elliot stretched on the carpet, looking up at the ceiling.

"Bright move," Barry sneered. "When we're finished you'll get dressed and then it's your turn, together with the girls."

These words lessened Elliot's tension a bit. Barry stepped out of his field of vision. Just one man stayed in the living room. He would go to eat on the second turn, together with the guards upstairs who would be replaced by men who ate on the first turn.

Elliot knew that they would have to take off their masks to eat. That was why he was on the floor in the living room, so that he could not take a look at them.

_But if I'm not mistaken and cops are out there, with our neighbors, they'll be able to see you. They can identify you and then_ _you'll do your time. If you survive long enough to be sentenced._

He lay and let his mind wander. _If they can find Kathy and Dickie? They won't be able to act as long as we're separated._ His stomach rumbled. _I hope they know that we're separated… if they attack and free us and the guys who have them can't get in touch with Barry, they might…_ He could not finish that thought, too painful was the imagination. _Please don't risk anything. If you can't change it, let me give my testimony tomorrow…_

Elliot sighed. He was getting a bad headache from stress and exhaustion. That wore him down and he closed his eyes. Before he even could wonder if he would be able to do so, he fell asleep.

xxx

**Lavender residence**

Olivia felt a sting when their eyes met through the binoculars. She knew that he could not have seen her, but still her heart started to pound wildly.

_Elliot, we're here,_ she thought. _Hold out, partner. We'll get it right._

Then she heard him talk again.

He asked Mendoza if John would join them for dinner. So he confirmed the assumption that John was down in the cellar as well as that the girls were upstairs when he talked about them coming down to eat with them.

Simmons frowned, then he turned to Olivia and Cragen.

"Sergeant Brown said that he's under the impression that Detective Stabler noticed him. He told me that he retreated a bit so that his cover can't be blown."

_Can that be true? Did Elliot notice us?_

She looked through the binoculars again. Now Elliot was talking about Kathy and Dickie. His words made clear that they were not in the house, but still in the hands of the hostage takers.

_Did he really notice us? Is he trying to give us information?_ Olivia shivered with excitement.

Cragen wondered about the same. He wanted to believe that Elliot trusted him and the squad and expected them to be there finally, but there was no way to know it.

_Please don't be mad at me,_ he thought. _You have to take the situation into account. How could I know what was going on?_ He knew that he had disappointed him. _I should have trusted you. You deserve my trust. As soon as you started talking on the stand I should have gotten suspicious. But instead I became angry. I felt betrayed. I just saw that you betrayed your partner! You betrayed Fin! And that just was not right._

Cragen let the binoculars sink and sat down again. He felt guilty.

_Have I failed as your superior? As your commanding officer? Have I failed as your friend?_

"Okay," Simmons said. "We have enough information to go in."

"We can't!" Cragen replied. "His wife and son aren't there. The men must have taken them away! Something may have alarmed them and they split them up to prevent Elliot from trying anything… as well as us. If they are taken down, they lose contact with the men holding Kathy. It's too dangerous. We might just as well sacrifice them."

"I know," Simmons agreed. "We won't risk anything. I just wanted to let you know."

"Okay…" Cragen was not completely at ease, but he felt a bit better.

Olivia watched the house intently. She longed to be with her partner and felt like a caged cat of prey, condemned to watching Elliot's ordeal from afar but being unable to help. As soon as she thought about it her worries increased again, because she was reminded of Elizabeth and her project.

_I'm the snow leopard in her cage,_ she thought bitterly. _And who are you? The family of lions sitting in the next cage?_

Elliot was herded back into the living room where he had to lie down.

"Showtime," Simmons grinned. "Yeah, go and eat… show us your ugly faces!"

His enthusiasm was infectious. A small smile touched Olivia's lips and she felt a bit better.

xxx

**Stabler residence**

John had no idea what was going on. All he knew was that Elliot had gotten something out of the freezer.

_To prepare dinner,_ he mused and was reminded of his grumbling stomach. His gut hurt, both, from the blow as well as from hunger.

_How have I gotten myself into such a situation? What did it take? Just one step over the threshold._

John hung his head. He was dead tired, he hurt and he was hungry. A bad combination.

_They let him go down in the cellar alone_. _This guy really must be convinced that he can control Elliot if he's allowing him out of his sight… as he has to when Elliot's going to testify._

He tried to imagine what they were doing upstairs but failed. All he really knew was that they might talk about the trial.

_Elliot just ignored me. He came in and went past me without even looking at me… even when I groaned._ John still was surprised and wondered why he was surprised all the same. _This situation creates a perverted sense of trust. That Barry-guy has to trust Elliot to go and do as he's told and Elliot has to trust him that the men won't harm his girls as long as he follows the orders. There's no room to break ranks…_

His musings were interrupted when he heard the door and footfall on the stairs. A moment later a big man rounded the corner. He held the tiny keys in his large gloved hand and started to fumble with the locks. Then he helped John to get up.

_What's going to happen now?_ John was scared. He had no idea what the men were going to do to him. _Will they use me to blackmail Elliot? To make him do something? Will they threaten me so that they won't have to resort to use the girls against him?_

Perversely, that's what he hoped they would do, both to spare the girls more trauma and because Elliot might find more strength to resist if his children were not being threatened.

Roughly the man grabbed John's arm and dragged him over to the door and pushed him forward to go up the stairs. Breathing hard through his nose because he was still gagged with duct tape, John scrambled upwards to face an uncertain fate.

* * *

tbc… 


	31. Chapter 31

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. :D To hear that you like the story is so encouraging and inspiring all the same. Thanks. Welcome _js56_.

Special thanks to _JO_ for helping out with some descriptions. :D

**31**

**Brooklyn**

Checking out the apartment rented by Pedro Moreno now was obligatory. Fin and Bobby urged Esme to let them in and turned the place upside down.

While they were searching, Fin's cell phone rang and Olivia gave them new information about the guys Esme had described to them.

"Look at that!" Bobby said, pulling some sketches out of a drawer. "Looks like a blueprint."

"Yeah, self-made blueprint," Fin grumbled. "That must be Elliot's place."

Bobby nodded. "Hmmm… entrance, kitchen, living room, toilet, stairs to first floor, kid's rooms, bathroom, master bedroom… nice place."

"Nice garden, too. We once had a barbecue there for Elliot's birthday." Fin chuckled. "Munch almost grilled us all."

"And I thought just his coffee would be dangerous."

"As dangerous as my driving he would claim." Fin's features crumpled. Worry carved lines in his forehead, worry not only for his partner and Elliot but especially for his colleague's kids.

"They won't come back to this place," Bobby murmured deep in thought. "They cleaned it up and left just what they did not really need. We won't find much here."

"Not much is better than nothing," Fin grumbled.

The door bell rang and Esme let a couple in, Taylor and Bonasera from the CSU team.

"Already turned something up?" Taylor asked.

"Some sketches," Bobby replied holding the papers out to him. "Might hold prints."

"We'll check that," Bonasera said and took the papers to bag them.

"Anything else?"

"Not yet," Fin shook his head. "They cleaned up here."

"They never can so thoroughly that we don't find anything," Taylor said. "Stella… bed- and bathroom?"

"Sure, Mac." And she took her silver case and went over to the bedroom. It did not take long till she stood under the door again. "Mac?"

They turned to her and looked over what she was holding up.

"Oh, a plumber's coverall," Fin mused. "Someone exploring the target area, hum?"

"Yup," Bobby nodded. He was rummaging through another drawer of the living room cabinet. "There's nothing here," he said, pushing it closed.

"This is completely empty," Fin told them. He was behind the kitchen counter, checking the cupboards below. "We should check Nacho's place."

Bobby nodded. "You'll call us…"

"As soon as we turn something up," Taylor completed his sentence. "Bye."

The two detectives left and the forensic experts went back to dusting surfaces, searching for prints.

xxx

**Lavender residence**

_Peculiar feeling,_ Mrs. Lavender thought, rummaging through her fridge in search for cold cuts for new sandwiches. _They just rang the door, went in and now they're occupying my terrace, my living room and the toilet, frequently._

Her gaze was drawn to the female detective with the auburn hair and intense dark eyes. She remembered having seen her over the garden's fence.

_She was talking about her partner… and meant Elliot. The dear boy. I hope he's alright._ But Mrs. Lavender knew that nothing was alright. If everything would be okay, the cops would not be here in her house, stuffing half of it with technical equipment and running around with guns and protective gear.

Mrs. Lavender watched the lady cop for a while. She sensed that she was in emotional pain and she wondered if she might be able to help somehow, help her and help Elliot Stabler and his family. Right now the best she could do was to make some food and offer them something to drink. They would need their strength to help Elliot.

She finished preparing the meal and set the plates on a tray. When she went over and bent to set it down between Olivia and Don, she looked into the detective's brown eyes and compassionately asked, "Did I hear one of the men call you Liv, dear?

"Yes, ma'am," Olivia nodded.

"Is it short for Olivia?"

"Yes, ma'am, why do you ask?"

"Because I think I know how we can tell Elliot that you're here and let him know help is on the way."

That clearly piqued Olivia's curiosity. "Please, explain."

"Well, Kathy and I are always swapping recipes and borrowing things, you know? A cup of sugar, whatever. I could call and tell him I have a bottle of olive oil over here for her. Maybe ask him to send one of the kids over for it. Because I'm in the middle of cooking and I am a forgetful old woman and they might never get it if they don't get it now while I am thinking of it."

"Hmmm…" Olivia hummed thoughtfully and tried to catch the eye of her commanding officer.

"See, Elliot's such a dear boy. He brought Dickie over and together they raked the leaves, cleaned my gutters, and put the flowerbeds in order for the winter for me because I hadn't had time to find a lawnservice after my dear Harold left me. I really want to help him if I can."

Olivia looked over the woman whose house they had occupied. Her brown hair which was peppered with grey streaks was pinned up to a bun which gave her the look of a lovable grandma, but she wore modern clothes, jeans and a lively shirt with neon green as basic color. Inwardly the detective had to grin about her calling Elliot a _dear boy_.

"What do you think?" she asked Cragen.

"Carefully worded in case that they turn on the speaker phone… yeah. We could do it."

"Just one thing," Mrs. Lavender said. Both cops looked at her expectantly. "Call me Rosemary."

They smiled warmly at her, then they sat down together to prepare her call.

xxx

**unknown location**

Dickie stirred in her lap. His head resting there he had been sleeping for a while and now he was about to wake up.

Kathy was worried. Sooner or later he would become restless and that would become difficult. There was nothing she could keep him busy with. All they could do was sit in the loading space and wait… wait for whatever might come.

This time it was the second masked man who came. He was carrying a big box which he sat down next to Kathy. Even through the cardboard she could smell onions and meat. She lightly shook her son on the shoulder to wake him up. He blinked sleepily at her, but then he sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"Eat."

Kathy took the box and sat it on her lap before she opened it. The contents smelled as delicious as they looked. There were two big burgers inside, not the tiny, wishy-washy bun with paper thin patties between the limp lettuce leaves, but big rolls with a crust, thick patties, cheese, a bunch of lettuce and tomatoes and sauce was squeezing out the sides. Next to those burgers also lay two burritos.

"Thank you," Kathy said and nudged Dickie's side.

"Thank you," he mumbled.

The masked man nodded and gestured them to go ahead. His partner left the loading space to climb back into the driver's seat. He started the engine and headed for the road again.

_Where are they going now?_ Kathy thought. _Where will this journey end? Will we drive around all night? At least we got some food._ She took a bite of her burrito. _And it's good food._ She tried again. _Very good._

"How's your burrito, son?" she asked just to fill the silence.

"Okay," he mumbled. He leaned against the van's wall with his back and also a bit against her. Taking a big bite of his burrito, he spared himself to talk more.

_Okay, you don't have to talk. _Kathy understood that. _I can be glad that he actually is eating._

The sound of the tires was changing, then the van hopped over a quite bumpy road or rather a path.

_Where will they take us? God, please help us! This seems to be far outside of New York._

To divert her thoughts she finished her burrito and turned to her burger. It was delicious.

_At least they're feeding us well. The conditions of serving could be better, but that's not so important. What is important is that we have no way to tell what will happen. Elliot is supposed to testify tomorrow morning… and what will happen then? Will they really let us go? Or will they kill all of us?_

She did not want to think about it, but she knew that she had to. If there should be an opportunity to escape, she and Dickie should jump at the chance. Then her thoughts turned back to her husband.

_I can tell that he often feels left out. Just like I often feel._ She sighed. _Each time something's up with the kids he hears about it later… due to his job, due to working really hard and most often he doesn't get home until the kids are in bed. I'm sure that he misses them… just like they're missing him._ A chill washed over her with her next thought. _Sometimes I'm under the impression that he just feels like the provider, the paycheck, not like part of the family._

She had to stop there. That idea was too painful.

_Especially as it is not true. He's doing so much for us, the kids and me. He's trying his best to meet our needs. And if I think about how little time he has left after work it's amazing how much he cares._ She swallowed. _Am I getting mad at him too fast? When he doesn't want to talk I feel so left out, it hurts. But maybe I'm too quick with judging him._

_Even though I know he just wants to protect me, I resent him that he's not talking. I'm glad that he joined SVU instead of narcotics for example. It's the right job for him, he's so predestined to do it. Still, he has to witness and work with the most heinous crimes imaginable, sexual abuse of any kind and abuse of children. A lot of it must be traumatic and I see him hurting. I want to take my share of that pain, but he doesn't let me! He doesn't have to tell me what a criminal has done! He just should share what's going on in his head, in his heart, so that I can relieve his pain!_

The van rumbled over rough ground and skidded to a halt.

_We've arrived, wherever we may be._

Kathy heard the door slam, footfall, then the sliding door was opened.

"Out!" bellowed the man.

So Kathy grabbed her son's arm and pulled him with her as she followed the order. Her feet hit mud when she got out. Still the soil was soaking wet from last night's thunderstorm.

The man took her arm and dragged her over to a small cabin. One look around disillusioned Kathy. There was nothing but trees.

xxx

**Manhattan**

Alex Cabot sat at her desk but could not concentrate on her work. Every so often her thoughts trailed off to Elliot Stabler.

_It was a shock to hear him answer completely differently on my questions than during the preparation. It was an even bigger shock to find out about the bug._

She shivered.

_I've had cases where suspects tried to tamper with witnesses. Jack knew cases where a witness was murdered or had to be put in the witness protection program… but that? What have they done?_

The idea of his family being at stake made her sick. She did not want to begin to imagine what Elliot was possibly going through.

_They won't just have bugged him. There must be a history behind it. Something with which they made him compliable._

And that something most likely was his family.

_Did it happen while we were at the park?_ Alex wondered. _Were we skating and eating ice cream while the Stablers were attacked?_

It knotted up her insides.

_What can I do? I could tell the judge, but unless Cragen and the SWAT team are ready to arrest those responsible, it would just be an unfounded accusation. In this case informing the judge without the defense attorney present would be an inappropriate ex parte communication._

She doodled on the pad on her desk.

_At the very least the judge would have to inform the defense attorney. The worst case possible would be the declaration of a mistrial._ She shook her head. _A mistrial could let Mendoza go free and still the Stablers would be in danger._

Without her noticing the figures started to change into hanging men.

_To use my redirect questions isn't an option either, because suggesting that Elliot was being coerced to change his testimony might be enough to get a conviction, but would also let the perps know that we know about them tampering with our witness, which would lead to one or more hostages getting killed._

_This hanging man has a sombrero,_ she noticed and had to chuckle bitterly. _Inappropriate, but actually I have no idea how to draw a Panama hat…_

_And if I fake the flu and call in sick? That would give the police more time to rescue Elliot and his family. On the other hand that would also lengthen the time the Stablers are in danger. So I can't do that. If no rescue opportunity presents itself, it could take forever._

This time it was a sombrero wearing guy under a guillotine.

_And Branch? If I tell him, he could never remain quiet about it. Having him charging around like a bull in a china shop could make everything fall apart like a house of cards. That's really the worst that could happen!_

There was another man scribbled on her pad. With the tip of her pen she cut him once, twice, over and over again until he was slashed to pieces… as was her pad. The first layer of paper had a large hole where the gut of the stickman had been. So she tore off the first two layers, crumpled them and threw them into the bin.

_It's six of one and half a dozen of the other. I can't do anything without endangering Elliot more than he already is._

Alex sighed. It did not look as if she would get her work finished soon. Should she stay or take it home with her?

Sighing again she decided to stay. Actually she did not feel like packing everything up and getting it back out at home just to sit at another desk, still not knowing what to do. She could spare herself that trouble.

xxx

**Stabler residence**

As he went up the stairs on shaky legs John harbored the worst fears.

_What might have happened? What do they want him to do? Did something go wrong? What will they do to me? Do to Elliot? Please spare the kids!_

He stumbled around the corner and into Barry's waiting arms.

"Hey, John," he said. "You'll behave now, won't you?"

John nodded. He did not dare to move when Barry peeled off the tape from his lips, grunting as it nipped on his stubble.

"We're going to have dinner. Come."

It was all John could do not to start to shake. He had anticipated the worst. Now all what would happen was dinner? His heart beat wildly. As they entered the living room he saw Elliot.

"C'mon, Elliot," Barry said. "Get up. John's here."

For John it looked as if Elliot was unconscious, lying on the floor, his arms and legs slightly spread, eyes closed.

But the sapphire eyes opened the second Barry spoke. Elliot sat up and looked around at Barry. Then he scrambled to his feet.

"Hey, John."

"Elliot."

"How sweet," Barry teased. "C'mon, get into the kitchen."

When they went in, Elliot noticed that there was not much left of the dinner he had prepared. _Great,_ he thought. _Nice move._

"I've seen that you have more peppers," Barry said. "Guess you can make more."

"Yeah." Without hesitation he grabbed the peppers to wash them, then he got the kitchen knife and started chopping them.

Barry shoved John to the table and urged him to sit down.

"Hands on the table top," he ordered and John complied.

_Wow… Elliot just got the knife and started work. He's got a weapon, a fucking weapon._ Then he realized what he was thinking. _I should stop that. He's not going to risk anything. The kids would be the first to suffer if he'd try to fight our way out. This guy's here with us, but there are more men. Even if we could take out him, the others would have all the time in the world to react. Damn. He knows exactly what he's doing._

Barry leaned against the kitchen counter. He kept an eye on the older detective. It was funny to see the incredulous expression on his face as he watched his colleague comply so readily at the orders. Inwardly he chuckled. _He seems to be quite surprised. Well, it must be a quite unusual sight._

Elliot concentrated on preparing more food. The blade slid through the peppers as it would slide through soft butter. It was a good knife, part of a set Kathy got from her parents for her birthday two years ago. It was still as sharp as it had been the first day.

He did not know how often he had used it or one of the others since, but for the first time he noticed how well it lay in his hand. The wooden handle was heavy for its size, but in perfect balance with the blade. It smoothed against his palm, the wood becoming warm from his body heat. Its form made it pretty handy.

For a moment he paused, his gaze resting on the blade. Tempting. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. _No. Don't even think about it._

"Can I talk with Kathy and Dickie?" he suddenly asked.

"No." Barry's answer sounded harsh. "No phone there… go on."

And Elliot continued chopping. Then he threw the peppers into the pan to put it on the stove. That was when the phone rang and everyone stared at it.

"Whoever it is… get rid of him!" Barry ordered.

Elliot nodded and picked up the phone from the kitchen table to answer the call, turning on the speaker, "Stabler."

"Hey, Elliot, Rosemary Lavender here."

"Oh! Hello, Rosemary!" Elliot was quite surprised. "What can I do for you?"

"Does Dickie still like Popeye?" Rosemary asked. "Cause I have a DVD here with him, Olive Oyl and Poopdeck Pappy getting ready to join him in a new adventure."

_Huh?_ Elliot was at a loss of words. He needed a moment of reaction time to realize what she was saying, because Dickie hated Popeye with all of his little heart. Then it dawned on him… _Olive Oyl… Olivia! And who did she mean with Popeye's Pappy? Don Cragen?_ He had to swallow a chuckle.

"I'm not sure," he answered. "I'll ask him as soon as he's back."

"Where's he gone?"

"On a trip with two of his friends. I don't expect him to be back before nine."

"Okay, tell him to come over tomorrow if he's interested."

"Sure."

"Son, is Kathy there? I'd like to talk with her, too."

"Sorry, Rosemary. She's gone out together with a friend to see the _Annie Tassler Duo_ and will be back late. I forget where they're playing, probably some dive on the outskirts of the city. So maybe she'll stay overnight. I don't know yet. She wanted to call."

Saying the last words he looked intently at Barry, emphasizing his earlier request to talk with her. The man just shook his head and stepped closer to him.

At once Elliot felt a chill on his back. Physical closeness to this guy was less than desirable. Rosemary said something, but it didn't reach his mind. His chin was burnt by Barry's touch when he lightly took it between index finger and thumb, just to remind him of his presence.

_As if I would need a reminder,_ Elliot thought. Tremors ran through his body and he could not find an answer to a question he never really heard.

xxx

**Lavender residence**

Olivia shivered with excitement when Rosemary took the phone to make the call. Just the short and simple sound of his name when he answered it sent a jolt of conflicting emotions through her body.

She did not just hear him, she could also see him on their monitor, standing in the kitchen, still without clothes, the fresh wound contrasting with his flesh.

"_Oh! Hello, Rosemary! What can I do for you?"_

Olivia's breath hitched in her throat. He sounded as serene as always. _How does he manage that?_

"Does Dickie still like Popeye?" Rosemary asked. "Cause I have a DVD here with him, Olive Oyl and Poopdeck Pappy getting ready to join him in a new adventure."

The following pause lingered between them like a cloud of acid rain, burning them with the underlying tension.

_What's going on in his mind now?_ Olivia wondered. _Will he recognize the hidden message? C'mon, partner! That's taking too long! Say something!_

"_I'm not sure," he answered. "I'll ask him as soon as he's back."_

_Back! Back from where?_ She nodded at Rosemary encouragingly.

"Where's he gone?" she queried.

"_On a trip with two of his friends. I don't expect him to be back before nine."_

"Okay, tell him to come over tomorrow if he's interested."

"_Sure."_

_Kathy_, Olivia mouthed to remind Rosemary to ask him about her whereabouts.

"Son, is Kathy there? I'd like to talk with her, too." This time he answered right away.

"_Sorry, Rosemary. She's gone out together with two friends to go and see the __Annie Tassler Duo__ and will be back late. I forget where they're playing, probably some dive on the outskirts of the city. So maybe she'll stay overnight. I don't know yet. She wanted to call."_

"So you and the girls are on your own for dinner tonight, I guess?"

Silence.

It seemed to last forever and then Rosemary spoke again.

"Elliot, dear, are you okay?"

"_Oh, um…" He sounded quite distracted. "Um… yes, I am."_

"I guessed that you and the girls are on your own for dinner tonight," she told him once more. It was all she could do to hide her nervousness and sound casual.

"_Yeah, I guess we are."_

"Would you like me to come over and help you whip something up? If you're anything like poor Harold here, I'm sure you're helpless in the kitchen."

There was a second of hesitation before he answered. Olivia tensed up again. She sensed that he really heard something in Rosemary's remark that they had intended to make him hear.

"_Nah__. I'm making some beef barbecue," he said. "That's easy enough I can't screw it up."_

_Sounds as if he's taken the bait,_ Olivia thought. _He confirms her._ Rosemary looked up at her and once more she nodded encouragingly. _Yes, go on! You're doing great!_

"You know, you can always ask, Elliot. Right?"

"_Yes, I know, Rosemary. Thank you."_

"Maybe Kathy can call me tomorrow or just come over."

"_I'll tell her that you've called. I gotta go… something's going on upstairs."_

"Okay, check on your kids. Bye, Elliot."

"_Bye, Rosemary." And he ended the call._

"I'm sorry," Rosemary said. "I could not ask all we've talked about. Sorry…"

"Don't worry," Cragen said. "You did great. Thank you very much."

"I really wish I could have done more. I want to help Elliot."

"We know that, Rosemary," Olivia tried to reassure her. "We appreciate what you have done, really."

"But…"

"No _buts_, Rosemary," Cragen stopped her. "I'm sure that he got the message. You helped him and you helped us. Thank you."

She smiled cautiously. "Okay," she agreed. "I just hope that I could help."

"You did," Olivia corroborated. "Thank you."

Finally Rosemary sensed that the cops wanted to talk. "I have some laundry to do," she said and got up to go upstairs.

Olivia looked at the screen. Elliot stirred the vegetables in the pan. She only saw his back, but solely by the set of his shoulders she could tell how tense he was. His head was slightly bowed. A gesture of submission? Or was it just because he was working with the food?

"Let's listen to the call again," Cragen said.

Simmons looked up at him. He was ready to restart the recording.

"Okay." Olivia straightened up on her chair, bracing herself against having to hear and watch it a second time. Simmons started the recording and they heard the phone ring. The men turned to it and finally Elliot picked it up to answer the call. The question about the DVD, followed by silence. It took so long until Elliot reacted. It was almost too long. Once more Olivia wondered if Mendoza might have noticed something, but in that case he would have reacted otherwise…

"_On a trip with two of his friends. I don't expect him to be back before nine."_

"Stop," Cragen ordered and Simmons hit pause. "Could that already be a hint?" he turned to Olivia. "Two friends and before nine?"

"Hmmm… he said that Dickie's on a trip. That could mean that he's been taken away… by two guys? Elliot was talking about two friends of Dickie. We heard that Kathy has been taken away together with him, so he might refer to the number of men who went with them."

"What about the time? Nine pm? Nine am?"

"Maybe the time the trial will start tomorrow… that they will be held as long as he has to be there."

"Hmmm…" Cragen rubbed his chin. "Go on."

They stared and listened intently. Olivia saw him play with the knife in his hand while he was talking. She hardly heard what he was saying, too distracted by what she was watching. She tried to find any hint in his features and posture and just missed what he was talking about.

"Can you please repeat that?" she asked and once more they went through that part of the call.

"There's the two again," Olivia mused. "She's gone out with _two_ friends, to see the _Tassler Duo_… Annie Tassler… She was kidnapped when she was on her way home from the diner where she was working. Munch and Fin worked that case."

Cragen was impressed. Yes, now he remembered Annie, too. Interesting that Elliot used that.

"So Kathy and Dickie are out of town with two kidnappers," Olivia declared.

"Out of town?" Simmons asked.

"The location of the concert…" she explained. "El said that he forgot where they're playing, that it could be out of the city and that Kathy might stay overnight. He described the plan of the perps for us." She smiled a proud smile. _Thanks, Elliot,_ she thought.

"He actually had the presence of mind to hide hints in his replies," Simmons said. "Great."

"He'll try again if he can think of an opportunity. Now that he knows that we're here he'll try to help us. What's next?"

Now Rosemary asked about dinner. There was a long pause that made them nervous even as it was the recording of the call. Because on the monitor they could watch how Mendoza grabbed Elliot's chin. It was a silent threat and one that did not fail.

"He confirmed again that Kathy and Dickie are not home," Olivia mused while they were listening to his answer.

The rest of the call was small talk. No further information was hidden there. Just the presence of Mendoza was intimidating. The way he stood next to Elliot, controlling him with small gestures was creepy.

"So what is this telling us now?" Cragen mused. "All we really know is that we can't do anything as long as Kathy and Dickie's location is unknown."

"We let him know that we're here. That will help him." Her voice started to tremble. She rubbed the knuckles of her sprained hand. "We… we did him wrong. I hit him and you… you suspended him. Alex is mad at him. He must have felt so lost and alone, having to deal with all this on his own."

Simmons turned away, not sure how to react to captain and detective. He did not know what they were talking about and he did not want to know.

"Okay, let's find Kathy," Olivia declared with renewed determination. "They must have a car. They must have come here somehow Sunday morning. So let's talk with the neighbors to find out if they saw something on Sunday. And we have to check who of the suspects has a car, what kind of car, where it is and if they have any friends and relatives around here, and where." She glanced at Cragen.

"You heard what she said."

Simmons gestured one of his men. "I'm going with you," he said. "How do you want to approach them? We need to go to Detective Stabler's home, too, to avoid suspicions."

"I have an idea," Cragen said.

They all got up and joined him and Olivia at the coffee table. Olivia quickly called Fin who confirmed her request. Of course they would take care of that.

Then, after finishing their preparations and being glad to finally have something to do, Olivia led the way out.

xxx

**Stabler residence**

"_So you and the girls are on your own for dinner tonight, I guess?"_

In vain Elliot tried to ignore the two fingers which held his chin. Even the light touch caused strong physical reactions, chills racing from there over his head down his spine and his insides churning due to the forced contact. It was an abundantly clear reminder of their situation and the position he was in.

It was eye contact which Barry was forcing on him by taking his chin. He wanted to see Elliot's reactions to nip possible alarming remarks in the bud. So Elliot raised his view to stare directly at the triangular glasses… and to his surprise they did not scare him, at least not right at that moment.

"_Elliot, dear, are you okay?"_

He could hear Rosemary's concern in her voice. It still took him a second to realize that he had to answer somehow.

"Oh, um…" _Damn! Can't be that difficult!_ "Um… yes, I am."

"_I guessed that you and the girls are on your own for dinner tonight," she told him once more._

"Yeah, I guess we are," he said, swallowing.

"_Would you like me to come over and help you whip something up? If you're anything like poor Harold here, I'm sure you're helpless in the kitchen."_

He just could stop himself from laughing out loud and had to force his voice to remain calm.

"Nah. I'm making some beef barbecue. That's easy enough I can't screw it up." _I guess that means that help is here. Not only had Harold been a short order cook, but Rosemary had pestered him for months to get my chili recipe for the diner where he had worked until he passed away._

"_You know, you can always ask, Elliot. Right?"_

"Yes, I know, Rosemary," Elliot confirmed, smiling inwardly. He did not move an inch and continued to stare at the glasses. _You won't take me down._ "Thank you."

"_Maybe Kathy can call me tomorrow or just come over."_

"I'll tell her that you've called. I gotta go… something's going on upstairs."

"_Okay, check on your kids. Bye, Elliot."_

"Bye, Rosemary."

He pressed the button that finished the call and put the phone down on the table.

"Okay?" he asked Barry. "Can I fix our meal now?"

"Yeah."

As soon as Barry let go of him, Elliot stepped to the oven and continued to prepare the second round of beef. There were more peppers in there now, but it would have to do for dinner for the girls, John and him.

John watched him work. He still could not fully comprehend how that man controlled Elliot, but he knew enough to stay at his place now. There was nothing he could do right now and so he had to play the game and wait for an opportunity… like the attack of the SWAT team. As the speaker phone had been on, he also heard what Rosemary said and drawn his own conclusions. The most important was that Cragen and more colleagues were near, waiting for the right moment to come in and get them out. He would be ready when they did.

Barry also followed Elliot's every move. And he noticed an ease in his moves that was new. He did not like that.

Elliot turned off the stove. The food was ready. He filled it in the bowl and put it on the table. When he opened the cupboard to get fresh plates out, Barry stopped him.

"Come here," he ordered and pulled him a few steps back. They were standing in the middle of the kitchen now. "Put your arms behind your back."

_What have I done wrong?_ Elliot wondered. _What is he planning to do?_

"And you," he turned to John, "you will stay put. Don't move. You move, he'll have another cut. Got it?"

"Yes," John mumbled. He looked at Elliot who avoided his gaze. _Sorry, my friend._

_So, what's up now? What comes next?_ What little confidence Elliot had regained vanished the moment he followed the order and crossed his wrists behind his back.

Barry had his big knife in hand when he stepped in front of Elliot.

"You wonder what's up now, right?" Barry teased. "You'd better. Never forget who's in control here."

_How could I forget that?_

"Don't play games with me, Elliot. I'm the only one here making rules. You have to follow them. It's just that simple."

"I will follow the rules," Elliot forced himself to reply. _God, I hate these games._

"Oh, I know you like to play. You also played with the damned remote controls."

_Remote controls?_ Confused Elliot raised one brow.

"You don't remember?" Barry chuckled. "Guess it was a coincidence that you pressed the right combination. But they were quite annoyed anyway. They were surprised that someone could get in."

"Get in?" Elliot still was confused.

"Don't play dumb, Elliot. I've seen you on tape. You've been there and you let the SWAT teams in."

His stomach started to rumble. Even the little appetite he might have developed while cooking disappeared. Now he knew what _Barry_ meant… and once more he thought that this guy had to be close to Pablo Mendoza. And Barry did not need the knife to scare him… his words cut as sharp as the big blade.

"Yeah, I remember," he said, his voice hoarse.

"Isn't that ironic? You should have kept your fingers off those damned remote controls. You would have spared yourself and your family a lot of trouble and pain."

_Oh my God._ Elliot swallowed as realization finally sank in. _He's really talking about the raid, about the remote controls we found in the living room when we and the SWAT team stormed in. I wanted to check if there was a porn on the tape in the video recorder, but instead of turning on the recorder the thing opened the hidden entrance to the whorehouse. And he's holding me responsible for finding it!_

"You never should have touched them, but you did." Barry closed in on him, taking his chin again. The blade slid over Elliot's chest. "You're responsible for Pablo being imprisoned. You've taken his life… so we're taking yours."

_What?!_ Elliot's heart skipped a beat. _He will kill me!_

Barry gloated over Elliot's distress. He let go of his chin and followed the lines of the brand with his fingertips.

"You are ours now, Elliot," Barry snarled. "You don't have a free mind anymore. You'll do what you're ordered to do. You get that?"

Elliot closed his eyes and clenched his teeth but otherwise he did not move. Now he was actually sick.

He nodded. "Yeah," he croaked, "I get that." Whatever God had planned for him, he would accept it. Silently he prayed for the safety of Kathy and his children.

* * *

tbc… 


	32. Chapter 32

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. :D

Please don't think I want to pester anyone… and I'll continue writing anyway… I just remember some readers who were with the story in earlier chapters and I'm curious if you are still there. :D Hmmm… I want to thank all readers and reviewers and it's always nice if you leave a comment or well rounded critique. Thanks. This chapter's for _Clue Impaired_ as the slowly starting rescue action certainly is for her liking. :D

Enjoy.

**32**

**Stabler residence**

Letting go of him Barry stepped aside. The knife slid back in its sheath. From one of his men Barry took a bundle of clothes.

"Here, Elliot. Get dressed," he ordered, throwing jeans and shirt on the floor at his feet.

Elliot could feel his knees trembling as he slipped into the jeans and pulled them up. Why had Barry chosen just that moment to toy with him? Had he somehow betrayed the presence of the colleagues who had come to help him? _Please, God, if you really are there, don't let him know. Do what you want with me, but don't let anyone else be hurt, not my kids, not my wife, not my friends._ He pulled the shirt on, but his fingers didn't seem to want to work when he tried to button it.

"Oh my, Elliot. You don't want to scare the kids, do you?"

He shook his head no.

"Answer me!" Barry spat.

"N…no, I don't," Elliot replied lowly. He hated how he sounded, especially as he suspected that his colleagues could listen in, but he could not change it. He found it more and more difficult to fight.

"Then you should do that right!" Barry scolded and grabbed for the shirt to open the first two buttons which Elliot had managed to close. They were not matched to the correct button holes. "So, here you go."

Elliot did not move. He could not express how humiliated he felt, but he let it happen.

"So…" Barry patted his chest. "Now get the plates out."

"Yes."

John watched him do as he was told. It still was amazing him. He had never seen Elliot behave this obediently. _So it's really that powerful,_ he thought. _Four marriages but no kids… I never got to know that feeling. All I got to know was the joy of finding love and the pain of paying alimony._

Elliot stood, waiting, listening for footfall on the stairs. Then three angels rounded the corner and entered the kitchen. Lizzie started to run and bulleted into his body with enough force to make him stumble two steps back. But he did not mind. He was grinning and wrapping his arms around his youngest daughter, holding onto her as if he was afraid that she would vanish if he let go again. Then her two sisters joined her and he embraced all three of them, holding them tight, kissing them in turns.

Lizzie was sobbing as was Kathleen. Maureen just clung to him desperately, her fingers clawing his shirt and nails digging in his back.

Elliot did not mind anything. He just hugged them back and wanted nothing more than to take them and get them to security.

"The food's getting cold," Barry said coldly, shaking them out of their bubble of peace.

Reflexively Elliot backed off.

_God! I'm flinching back from my kids! What's this guy doing to me?_

It was near panic that filled him in that second. It was not the panic that appeared when he was confronted with a gun. It also was not the panic he connected to a physical threat. It was the stark fear he felt when he realized that he could not control his reaction, that Barry might have altered his behavior.

_He did not even give me an order! It was just his voice, the tone of it._ The girls settled down at the table, but he was not able to follow them at once. _Is he really in control like that? Not just physically, but emotionally as well? Is that what you feel when you're brainwashed?_

"C'mon," Barry said. "Sit down with the others."

And Elliot moved before he even fully understood what the man had said.

_That's it. God! I can't let that happen! I can't let him take that control! I can't be conditioned like a dog to respond to his commands! No!_

He sat down at the end of the table, opposite of John.

"Uncle Munch," Kathleen suddenly said, noticing him for the first time. She sounded surprised, but said nothing more. The others also remained silent. Nobody moved. Nobody reached for the bowl or a bun. Expectantly Elliot looked at his eldest while his daughters' eyes rested on him.

"Maureen?" he finally addressed her.

She tilted her head at him and frowned. She knew what he wanted her to do. _No! I can't do that,_ she mouthed to him._ Don't ask me to do that!_

"Dad," she complained when she saw him raise his eyebrows, shaking her head.

_I can't even resent her not wanting to do it,_ he thought, but tried to be for them what he was supposed to be, solid as a rock.

"Maureen, even in bad times, no, especially in bad times, we should be grateful for the gifts He is giving to us," he said.

John was surprised. He knew that the Stablers were practicing Catholics, but that was the first time he got proof of that fact.

"But, Dad…" she squinted over to the menacing black figure.

"Maureen, please."

So she bit the bullet, held out her hands for John and her father to take them and lowered her head. John gently took Kathleen's hand, too, and Lizzie those of Elliot and her sister. Then Maureen spoke the words she had learned a long time ago, "Bless us, oh Lord, for these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord." For a moment she fell silent. Everyone waited. She had not finished the prayer yet. "And protect our family and friends," she squeezed John and Elliot's hands, "from all evil. Offer us guidance in desperate times and give us strength to pass your trials. Amen."

Elliot squinted at her with amazement. The words she had chosen testified to a maturity that seemed to be beyond her years.

"Amen," Kathleen, Lizzie, Elliot and even John repeated.

Then Kathleen reached for the buns, Maureen took the bowl, and they distributed the food. It was a quiet meal. No one felt like making small talk. Elliot wished he could think of something to say, but finally remained silent, too.

They all were eating slowly. Very slowly, Elliot noticed. _We're all trying to prolong the time that we can be together. I'm sure Barry will take the girls upstairs as soon as we're done._

Elliot was watching his daughters eat rather than eating himself. Their presence was calming and alerting him at the same time. He could not turn his gaze away from them, afraid that they might vanish, even if he just blinked.

He was still thinking about what he could do to keep them all together when someone rang the door bell.

xxx

**Queens**

Olivia felt a little odd as she did not wear high heels with her dress. Actually, it belonged to Rosemary's daughter. It fit tightly and she felt rather uncomfortable when she went from door to door on the other side of the street. Sergeant Dillard was with her. He was holding the Bible and a notepad.

A man in his thirties, just in shorts opened them the door, surprised by their badges.

"Hello, Mr. Collins," Olivia greeted him. "In connection with an accident we're searching for cars that were on the road yesterday morning. They must have come through about eight. Can you remember…?

"Sunday morning… phew," said Mr. Collins and let one hand run through his hair. "I'm not sure."

"Just tell us what you remember. We need all the information we can get to double check the statements of the witnesses."

"We left early yesterday," he explained. "But not before eight, I think. Wendi!?" he yelled over his shoulder into the house. "Wendi!"

"Yeah?" her voice waved out to them, then they heard footfall and a woman with an incredible black mane of thin braids that reached to her hips, rounded the corner to step beside her husband. "What's up?" she wanted to know and they repeated her request.

"Hmmm… only thing I remember is them getting early morning visitors," she said, pointing at the house across the street. "Right across the street, at number 2402. They got out of a van and went up to the house. I just caught a glimpse of them when I got Tammy her breakfast."

"Do you remember the color of the van?" Olivia asked.

"It was white," Wendi answered at once. "It stopped, the men got out and it drove off again."

"Can you describe the men?"

"No." She chuckled. "As I said, I just glanced out of the window, then Tammy came… hey, Sweetie!" At her side a little girl had appeared who now clung to her pants.

"I didn't see it at all," Mr. Collins added without further question. "I didn't see any visitors either."

"Do you have anything else to add, ma'am?" Dillard asked.

She tilted her head thoughtfully, then that became a shake. "No."

"Okay, thank you."

"You're welcome," Mr. Collins said, then he closed the door.

"A white van. That's better than nothing," Dillard stated when they went down the stairs.

"Hmmmm-hmmm."

Olivia let her gaze wander over to house number 2402 where she saw Simmons and Henderson approach.

xxx

**Brooklyn**

Searching Ignacio _Nacho_ Jiménez's apartment did not take very long. It just had two rooms, a combination of living room with kitchenette and the bedroom. Fin and Bobby rummaged through every cupboard and drawer to turn up anything useful.

This time it was Bobby's cell phone that rang. "Goren." He listened to what his partner Alex had to tell him, thanked her and snapped the phone shut.

"Nacho owns a white van," he told Fin. "It's CUD-187."

"Maybe they were dumb enough to use that van," Fin mused. "Chances are that if we find that van, we find Kathy and Dickie."

"Possible," Bobby agreed. "But _where_ do we find them?"

"Good question." Fin opened another drawer and rummaged through some papers. "Look at that."

Bobby crossed the room to look over his shoulder. Fin was shifting through a stack of pictures, most of them of some very familiar criminal faces. Fin grimaced.

"That's Pablo Mendoza," he said.

In the picture he now held in his right hand Pablo was sitting in a rustic chair on the front porch of a remote cabin, surrounded by trees. He was laughing with Nacho. In the foreground, leaning over a tree stump, Enrique filleted a bass with his monstrous knife.

"We couldn't connect Jiménez with Mendoza," Fin said. "We knew that he belongs to his organization, but we had no proof. Now, that's looking like a good friendship."

"Yeah."

Bobby had turned to the cabinet and was searching the shelf the TV was standing on.

"Here's an address book."

"Maybe that'll help us."

"It would be too good to be true if the address of the cabin would be in there." Bobby flipped through the pages. "Hmmm…"

"Anything in it?"

"Here's Paco's cell phone number, one for someone named Alvaro... none for Enrique or Pablo... not a single address, just the phone numbers, some e-mail addresses, though."

"They won't help us very much."

"No, I guess not."

Fin stared at the photos. "I wonder where this cabin might be," he said absently. "Where can you catch a bass like that?" Saying that he turned a bin over to empty its contents on the coffee table and dug through the papers. "Here's a gas receipt… from Newcomb… isn't that up north?"

"Hmm hmmm. A few years ago I was on a trip with Lewis," Bobby said. "We'd been up in Adirondack Park and came through Newcomb. There are a lot of cabins alongside the…" Fin could see his fingers twitch as he counted to himself, "…at least seven lakes around there."

"So we're still looking for a needle in a haystack," Fin grumbled.

"But it's a considerably smaller haystack," Bobby pointed out. "Those…"

"How far away is it?" Fin interrupted him.

"About five hours from the city. Those little towns up there, they recognize strangers, even in tourist season. I guarantee you someone has seen that van and remembers it."

"Just why should they go up to Adirondack Park with their hostages?" Fin wondered. "They could stay in the city. New York is as good a haystack as the whole of America."

Bobby chuckled. "They seem to be comfortable there. They separated Elliot's wife and son from him and the girls after the trial was adjourned and Elliot could not finish his statement." He took the picture from Fin and stared at it thoughtfully. "This move seems to be spontaneous. If they did not make an alternative plan they had to improvise. Where would you go to if you'd have to chose quickly?"

"I would go to a cheap motel where they don't ask questions," Fin replied. "But if they're dumb enough to use the van, they might as well go to this cabin."

"Right." Bobby put the photos into an evidence bag. "CSU should have a look at those. They always can find out something. Maybe they can find the right lake by looking at the fish."

Fin stared at him incredulously, then he chuckled as he realized that Bobby was pulling his leg.

"Okay. It can't hurt anyway. Let's get finished here."

xxx

**Stabler residence**

"Who's that?" Barry demanded to know.

"I can't look through walls," Elliot mumbled. "So I have no idea."

"Whoever it is… get rid of him," Barry snarled, took Elliot by the upper arm and pulled him up from his chair.

Even as he felt awfully humiliated to be treated like that in front of his children, Elliot let it happen. He followed Barry out and went to the front door. There Barry stepped into the blind angle behind the door and gestured Elliot to go ahead. When the detective opened, he saw a pair of vaguely familiar faces in front of him. His heart started to pound. _I've worked with these guys before, I know I have. Simmons and… whatever. They're SWAT. They really are here, but what the hell are they doing?_

"Good evening. I'm Elder Simmons and this is Elder Henderson. We're missionaries from the _Church of The Timely Salvation _and we were wondering if we could talk to you a little bit about salvation through our Lord Jesus Christ."

"We seek to return all the lost sheep to the fold so that when it is Christ's time, we may all be together as a family in Christ," Henderson added. Inwardly the SWAT officer had to grin. Now he finally could put his Bible knowledge to use.

They could not read Elliot's expression. It did not give away if he recognized them or realized that they were not who they pretended to be.

"Actually, I have a house full of dinner guests and we're just sitting down to eat," Elliot said, really trying hard to suppress any reaction that could give away his excitement. "Now is really a bad time, so if you'll excuse me..."

"Well, when would be a good time to come back?" Henderson asked. "Because the Lord says that _To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven. A time to be born, and a time to die, a time to plant…_"

"And a time to pluck up that which is planted," Elliot continued. _A time to kill… that's what comes next, and it might be a sin, but I do hope I get the chance to kill that son of a bitch,_ he thought. "I know the verse. I had four years of Catholic schooling, and you're not going to manage to convert anyone in this house, but if you just want to come by for dinner, we should be free tomorrow evening." Saying the word _free_, Elliot raised one brow at Simmons who gave a slight nod.

"Therefore Jesus told them, _The right time for me has not yet come; for you any time is right. The world…_" Simmons tried to explain, giving him an insistent look.

"Have you ever heard the saying, _Time is money_?" Elliot interrupted him. "Well, my criminal justice teacher in college, Professor Waite, used to say, _Time is life. I don't want to waste mine, and I'm not going to waste any of yours_, and he'd keep us in that classroom until the last possible minute before dismissing. I don't intend to let you waste mine or that of my family by trying to convert us. You won't succeed as all of us are Catholic. So if you please… I'm going to close the door now."

And with that he shut it in their faces. Breathing hard he stood for a moment behind the closed door and tried to process what had happened. But Barry did not grant him time to collect himself.

"C'mon, Elliot," he teased reaching for his arm again. "Don't you waste it either."

But Elliot cringed slightly away. It was a reflex that earned him a blow to the shoulder, the one with the brand. He groaned.

"Don't defy me, Elliot. I noticed that you started to relax again… but there's no reason to relax. You have to concentrate on what you're doing."

_I am,_ Elliot thought, grinning inwardly. _If you knew who I was talking to just now, and what I was telling them... I guess we'd all be hurting a lot now._ It was hard to remain alert. The constant strain took its toll and he could feel his exhaustion in every fiber.

"Are you finished with your dinner?" Barry asked.

"Yes, I am," Elliot replied.

"Then we should give the girls some time for themselves," Barry declared. "They'll be comfortable in their room until you're ready for the night."

_Ready for the night?_ Elliot was alarmed. _What do you mean? That you'll drug me again?_ That thought scared him. It scared him even more than the prospect of being bound.

Barry led him back into the kitchen where he made him sit down at his place again.

"Everyone finished?" he asked John and the girls, and they nodded hesitantly. "Okay… Then you should give us room to work. You also think that they should give us some privacy here, don't you, Elliot?"

"Yes, I think that would be good," Elliot whispered, his head bowed, gaze lowered. He could not manage to look at his kids or John. Too painful was the dominance that Barry had over him.

"It's good to see you agree," Barry said. "Now let us go through the cross examination again." And he gestured one of his men to accompany the girls upstairs. One look at Elliot was enough for Barry to read the detective's mind. He stopped him before he could even open his mouth.

"I bet that you don't mind if they're staying," Barry chuckled, "but I do. You'll be with them soon."

So Elliot watched them go again. Another man took John by the arm and herded him upstairs, too.

"Okay, let's get going."

* * *

tbc… 


	33. Chapter 33

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. :D

I'm so lucky to have found my SVU-beta-reader. You're really a great help when it's about vocabulary or expressions. You're helping me with the refinement of the text, offering lines or idioms most people will have problems with in their second language. Thank you so much.

This chapter is for you and _Iluvstabler_.

Sorry, _EnforcerAndAccuserFan_, but I had to move the Kathy/Dickie scene to chapter 34. :( It will come soon.

**33**

**Queens**

Lieutenant Quinn Simmons looked up at the house they were approaching. It was not that different from the other one where he and Sergeant Henderson just had stopped. A driveway, a lawn, a few steps up to the front porch and door…

They went up the stairs and rang the door bell. Then they waited patiently until the door swung open.

"Yes?" Teresa Deaver asked when she found the two men on her threshold.

"Good evening, Mrs. Deaver," Henderson greeted her, showing her his badge. "Lieutenant Simmons, I'm Sergeant Henderson. We're investigating an accident and are looking for possible witnesses."

"An accident? I haven't seen any accident," she said. "Maybe you should ask our neighbors. Mr. Stabler's a Detective in Manhattan."

_I know,_ Simmons thought. "Ma'am, do you remember anything unusual that might have happened yesterday morning around eight? Maybe a neighbor passing by?"

Thoughtfully she shook her head. "I can't remember anything, officer, I'm sorry." Her gaze went past Simmons over to the other side of the street. "Olivia?"

Simmons' heart skipped a beat. He did not have to turn to know that Benson and Dillard were about to go to the next house.

"Ma'am," he hurriedly said. "What I…"

"Olivia!" the woman yelled and, waving at her, she pushed past the lieutenant.

"Mrs. Deaver, please, calm down!" Simmons pleaded, grabbing for her shoulders. "We have to talk with you. Can't we…"

But she did not listen. "Olivia!"

Now the detective had noticed her. She also noticed, that she was shouting her name across the whole street what might give them away. She gestured Dillard to follow her and ran over the street to intercept Mrs. Deaver who already was on the border of her property.

"Shush," Olivia said as she grabbed the woman's shoulders and turned her around to push her back towards the house. "Let's talk inside."

"What's going on here?" Mrs. Deaver asked as she was shoved up the steps and through the still open front door. Now she was in her hall, surrounded by four cops. She turned to the one she knew. "Olivia? What's up? Is something wrong?" Her voice started to shake. "I mean, you don't deal with car accidents. What's wrong?"

"Ma'am…" she started.

"Call me Terry," Mrs. Deaver suggested.

"Okay, Terry. We're here because…"

She could not say more. Olivia saw Terry pale as some realization dawned on her.

"Oh, my God!" she gasped. She remembered the field Elliot and Olivia were working in. "Is there someone on the lose? Is there some sex offender in our neighborhood?"

"No," Olivia answered. "Actually, it's my partner…"

"Elliot?!" she interrupted the detective again. "What's up with Elliot?" Then she paled. "Has someone hurt Kathy or one of the kids?" She swallowed and looked around, finally staggering over to her living room to sink into one of the big easy chairs. There it hit her. _No, that can't be! How could I be so blind? No, God, no!_ Tonelessly she mumbled, "I was over there yesterday to ask Kathy's help. Elliot said that she wouldn't be home and sent me away. He didn't look so good, but I thought that he'd had a long shift again. God."

Olivia could not know what exactly was going on in Terry's mind, but she seemed to draw the right conclusion.

"The kids!" Terry breathed. "Do you mean to say that someone's threatening them, threatening Elliot and his family? Is that what you don't want to tell me? Are there killers inside the Stablers' home? Are they holding them hostage? C'mon, Olivia! Tell me!"

But Olivia could not talk, she could only nod. Terry's insight surprised her. She tried to remember her profession. Before she could ask, Terry continued on her own.

"I went over to ask Kathy's help for Calvin's birthday party, but Elliot told me that she wouldn't be home…" she trailed off. "Oh, my God! What if they heard me calling to you just now? I've put them in danger, haven't I?"

_Let's hope that you didn't,_ Olivia thought, but said, "I don't think that they noticed it. Tell me more about your encounter with Elliot."

"Okay. Wanna sit down?" she gestured towards the living room.

"Sure."

And they all went in to talk with her about her conversation the day previous.

xxx

**Adirondack State Park**

**Newcomb**

After finishing the search of Nacho's apartment Fin and Bobby had checked back with Cragen. He had told them not to lose time and go ahead. So their captain had made a call while they already had been on their way to Floyd Bennett Field where a chopper had picked them up.

Now, about two hours later, the helicopter descended onto a field in Newcomb.

"Detective Goren?" the sheriff yelled, approaching them under the still turning rotors.

"That's me!" Bobby shouted back. "Hello, Sheriff…"

"Kilworth!" He met relative silence. Together they went over to his patrol car. "With just one l!" he added, chuckling, and turned to Fin. "I'm sorry, Detective, but I don't know how to pronounce your name correctly. Deputy Mason took the phone call and…"

"No problem!" Fin replied. "It's Odafin Tutuola…" Fin could observe the puzzlement he was so used to, "but everyone calls me Fin."

"Okay… Fin. I take it you want to talk with Chet Carson first."

"If Mr. Carson's the owner of the gas station… yeah, we want to talk with him."

Kilworth grinned. "He'll _like_ you," he said, climbing into the car. Fin got into the passenger's seat while Bobby squeezed in the backseat.

"If you're looking for a cabin you'll have a lot of possibilities in the forests and along the lakes," the sheriff told them while driving. "Lake Harris is most accessible and so it's used by more people and your guys are not likely to have their cabin there. Lakes Newcomb, Colden, Rich and Duck Hole are also easy to get to. Then there's Lake Sanford, four miles long but not as easily accessible. There are three other lakes and lots of ponds in the area, too, but I don't know if your guys could make it down those narrow paths without an SUV."

"Still a haystack," Fin grumbled over his shoulder to Bobby.

"But it's getting smaller and smaller," he answered.

The town was scattered along the main road, the Roosevelt-Marcy Trail. Sheriff Kilworth steered his SUV down the winding road and pulled into the sole gas station of Newcomb. He stopped in front of the main building and all three cops got out of the car. Kilworth led their way in.

"Hello, Chet!" he greeted.

"Hey, Sheriff!" Carson answered him and dove back down behind a set of shelves to refill the lowest shelf with bags of chips.

"Chet, these are Detectives Fin and Goren, NYPD. They'd like to ask you some questions."

"And you've come all this way just to talk with me? What the hell can be so important to send some big city cops so far out of their territory?"

"A white van," Fin replied. "Have you seen one lately that you didn't recognize?"

Carson chuckled. "This is a gas station, Detective. All day long I see nothing but cars."

"Okay… but has one of them been a white van? Sometime today? Driven by strangers?"

"Hmmm…" thoughtfully Carson rubbed the back of his head. "I think I've seen one. Yeah, some Hispanic guy got all pissed off that he couldn't pay at the pump. And when he found out he had to pre-pay after five p.m., I thought he was gonna hit me."

Bobby smirked at Fin as if to say I told you so. Fin just glared at his colleague.

"Do you have a security system?"

Carson laughed out. "No, sir, I don't," he finally managed to say.

"So, if he wanted to pay at the pump, he must have been using a credit card, right?" Bobby asked.

"Yeah, yeah, he was."

"We need the receipt," Fin demanded anxiously. Finally they were making some progress.

"Okay…" Carson vanished behind his counter to search for it. "Hmmm… Here it is…"

Fin just had to glance at it. Then he pulled out an evidence bag. "Put it in here. Nacho was here," he said to Bobby. "Who was with him?"

"Another Hispanic. It was just the two of them."

"There wasn't a woman and a boy? She's blond, the boy about nine years old."

"I haven't seen anyone else," Carson snapped. "I already said that!"

"Which way did they drive when they left?" Bobby asked.

"They turned to the right." Carson put away some stuff under the counter.

"Okay. Thank you, sir."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Do you have some of these cupcakes Shelley likes so much?" Kilworth asked.

"Came yesterday!" Carson replied and chuckled. "I should remember to call you, sheriff." He went to another shelf and picked up two packs of cupcakes. "Two? Or d'you want more?"

"Give me four if you have them!" Kilworth grinned.

"Here, Sheriff. With best wishes for Shelley."

Kilworth paid and warded off the change. Carson turned back to his work, and the cops were about to leave when he said, "One was talking about dinner. They might have been at the diner up the road, you know… Gabe's place."

"Yup. Thanks, Chet. I'll tell Shelley! Bye."

"Bye, Sheriff."

"So we're now going to the diner?" Fin mused. "We could grab something to eat there, too."

"Sure. C'mon, let's go. Gabe makes the best cheeseburgers in the state."

"Sounds good," Fin replied. "We'll try them."

At the diner Gabe, a bear of a man with salt and pepper brown curls and clad in a jeans coverall, offered them the corner booth. He looked more like a logger than a cook with the pants and the t-shirt and boots he wore.

"A Hispanic guy? Yeah, one was here, got cheeseburgers and burritos." He chuckled. "Bought four of each. I wondered where he planned to put all of it, lean as he was. I knew adding some Mexican food to the menu was a good idea. People like a change from burgers and fried every now and then, you know?"

"Hmmm… yeah, I suppose they do," Bobby agreed. "Did you see his friend, too?"

"Out on the street. Another Hispanic. He was waiting at the car, a van, I think."

"What color was it?"

"Hmmm… I think it was white. They came over from Chet's gas station." He left to get their orders.

"So, they got four cheeseburgers and four burritos," Fin mused. "Sounds as if they wanted to feed a whole team."

"Well, one went in, the other waited at the van…" Bobby thought aloud. "The second guarded the car and the two hostages inside."

Gabe already returned with their orders. When he put the plates down in front of them Kilworth could read the surprise in their features.

"I told you they're the best," he chuckled.

"At least they are feeding them well," Fin mumbled, staring at the biggest cheeseburger he had ever seen.

"What a bummer we can't finish them off here," Bobby declared and turning to Gabe added, "Please wrap them up for us."

Gabe looked disappointed, but one nod of Kilworth made him take the plates and hurry to do as he was asked.

"How many men can you round up?" Fin asked the sheriff. "We have to assemble search parties and find this cabin."

"Hmm… my deputies and me… that's five, plus the local firemen... and some volunteers… around 20, I guess."

Gabe came back with the wrapped cheeseburgers. "Here you go," he said.

"Hey, Gabe," Kilworth addressed him. "This Hispanic… have you ever seen him before?"

"Nah, haven't."

"How did you get the idea to put Mexican food on the menu?" Fin asked, getting up.

Gabe laughed good naturedly. "Some kids asked me to try something new. I figured that I could at least try."

Fin nodded thoughtfully. "Okay… let's go!"

They grabbed the burgers and headed back out to the SUV.

xxx

**Stabler residence**

Elliot tried desperately to concentrate on what Barry was asking him. His mind was stuffed with impressions and demands and it was too busy to keep up. _Church of the Timely Salvation. I almost could have laughed aloud. And what did Henderson say next? _We seek to return all the lost sheep to the fold so that when it is Christ's time, we may all be together as a family in Christ. _Yes, that's what he said. And what did he mean? That they're searching for Kathy and Dickie? Oh, I really hope that. Please find them. Please._

"Elliot!" Barry scolded. "Stop dreaming and answer the question."

_Oh, shit… what question?_ Elliot's insides rumbled. He had missed whatever Barry had said before.

"Elliot… that's costing you your watch."

Elliot frowned at him. _What does he mean? My watch? What's he playing this time?_

"Take it off and put it on the coffee table."

Still frowning, Elliot followed the order. _What's he up to?_

"Are you wondering what we're playing?" Barry teased. "I bet you know strip poker, so… let's say we're playing strip interrogation. You don't play by the rules…"

"Well, then you should give me the rules first."

"You _know_ the rules!" Barry slammed his fist on the tabletop. "It's time that you finally comply with them!"

"I will."

"I hope so! For your kids' sake!"

"Stop threatening my children," Elliot snapped before he could stop himself. It just was too much and the words slipped over his lips faster than he could think. Chills ran down his back. _That was a mistake. No, no, no, no, no! Why did I say that?_

"Get up," Barry said menacingly silent.

So Elliot obeyed. He followed Barry's gesture to round the table until he was standing next to him, swallowing his fear.

"On your knees," Barry ordered and Elliot went down.

So he had to look up at his captor now, but he did not mind. He was scared of what would happen now. _Will Barry vent his wrath on the kids? Please don't hurt the kids. Please!_

Under the mask the face was unreadable. All Elliot could see were the reflections in the mirrored glasses. With every second Barry let him wait, he became more tense. Dread knotted his stomach until he started to feel actually sick. He heard the knife slide out of its sheath once more. It would not bring death, but it certainly would hurt if he did not surrender.

Then he felt the tip of the blade pierce the underside of his chin.

"You just changed the rules," Barry snarled. He got up and walked around Elliot until he was standing behind him. Still the knife was in place. "Put your arms behind your back. C'mon, Elliot."

Without hesitation Elliot did as he was told. He expected Barry to bind his hands once he had crossed them, but they remained free.

"Don't move," Barry hissed into his ear. "Whatever happens… dooon't… moooove."

It was all Elliot could do to suppress shudders. Even as he avoided looking at them, he felt the gazes of the other guards on him. _Maybe there is a camera hidden, too,_ he thought. _And the SWAT team and my other colleagues can watch all this…_

"Stand up. Stand up and dooon't move."

Taking a deep breath first, Elliot shifted his weight to get to his feet again. He moved slowly to keep from losing his balance. His legs felt like rubber and he swayed slightly. Behind his back he felt Barry's presence.

From behind his captor reached around Elliot and changed the knife from his right hand into his left. Then he walked around him until he was in front of him. He grabbed for the shirt and, one after the other, cut away the buttons. Under his mask he smirked when he noticed Elliot flinch each time a button sprang off and fell to the floor. Then Barry pulled the shirt out of the jeans. Now it loosely hung around Elliot's body when Barry rounded him once more to take hold of the shirt on the back. He tugged on it and Elliot let his arms fall to his sides.

"I told you not to move," Barry scolded.

At once Elliot put his hands back together. _What's he doing there? What kind of a game will this be? He already cut the buttons. Lord, I hope he won't continue…_

A tug on the fabric and the shirt slipped through his crossed arms. Another tug and a ripping sound told Elliot that Barry was cutting the shirt on the whole length. When Barry reached the collar, he had to stop and try again. Then the knife cut it cleanly. He pulled the halves of the shirt down Elliot's arms and over the wrists. When he had both off, he put Elliot's hands back in place.

Elliot's heart was thumping, blood rushing in his ears, pulse throbbing in his temple... when Barry cut open the back of his shirt, he had felt the back of the blade slide upwards over his spine. His breaths were erratic. He had to consciously suppress his shivering now.

Still his arms were crossed behind his back and still he was not bound. Elliot had to force himself not to move. The strain of not moving made him tense and sweat started to glisten on his body and forehead. Just standing like that and having to let Barry act out like that, was more painful than if he would have been bound.

Elliot was sure that this time his fear was visible in his features. He clenched his teeth and tried hard to concentrate just on his breathing. It was so hard just to draw in a breath. It only came shakily and he did not know why.

_He hasn't hurt me,_ he thought. _All he did was take off my shirt. There's no new cut or anything else… it's… just psychological terror. Damn! He'd better not cross my path once this is over._

And Elliot felt his cheeks grow warm when he once more thought of killing the man who terrorized his family and himself._ Please don't let him see how much he is upsetting me. He would so enjoy knowing he can turn me upside down. It's not the first time I have fantasized about killing the perps… and once more it gets me into trouble._

Desperately he searched his mind for something that would divert his thoughts. _I should not let him take control like that. Actually that's my job. I'm the detective, dammit! I should be the one who's cornering you._

Suddenly a picture flashed before his mind's eye. The picture of a young man. Elliot had interviewed him for hours, long hours. He had been polite at first, then tried it with acting, stepping down on his level. Finally the boy had caved and confessed… and yet they had to let him go. _Because Alex couldn't convince the judge to accept his confession, even though we did just what she told us to do, _he thought. _We could have prevented him from killing his mother, too._

It had not been that long ago and so the memories still were fresh. _Barry_ went to the couch and when Elliot's gaze fell on the big knife now back in its sheath, a chuckle escaped him. He managed to mask it as a grunt, but still his captor's interest was caught.

"What was that?" he asked, not sounding amused at all.

"What was what?" Elliot asked back, playing for time. "The lump in my throat I had to clear?"

Under his mask Barry frowned. "Almost raised the impression that you're laughing at me."

Elliot bit on the inside of his cheek to keep himself from chuckling. "Never," he said. He felt a bit more confident again, and when he returned his thoughts to the case a few months ago he could almost sense the amusement return. What he did not know was that his memories were mirrored in his features.

"Something's amusing you, and I wonder what that might be," Barry said, rounding the coffee table and straightening up in front of Elliot threateningly.

"Just some memories," Elliot mumbled. "I thought of long interrogations and saw a former suspect in my mind."

"And he was so funny?" Barry queried menacingly.

"Not really… just a mixture of memories were." At least these memories had managed to slow his heart rate down and the rock in his stomach did not weigh as much as before. _Should I tell him? Better not…_

"What did this guy do?"

_Damn! So much about not telling him. Wait, who says I have to tell him everything?_

"He attacked women with hat pins, stabbed them from behind."

"Why did he do that?"

"He was sleeping with his mother. She had abused him since he was a little boy."

Talking about his case calmed him down even more. This was familiar territory. This was what he was good at.

"And where did I miss the funny part?" Barry wanted to know.

_Oh, shit! Please, God, don't let him make the connection._ "Well, this boy was suffering from… piquerism," he said, hoping that that would satisfy Barry.

"What's that?"

_No! You don't want to know, no you don't._ How should he explain that to him without insulting him? This shot could backfire.

"It's a term to use in connection with his modus operandi. It's describing his psyche. Our shrink could explain it better."

"I bet you know exactly what it is," Barry pushed.

_Yes, I do. That's what made me laugh._ A chill ran down his back. _I can't tell you, I can't._

"Answer me!"

"The guy in question…" Elliot murmured. "He… he suffers from a disorder. Piquerism… that's the act of achieving…" Elliot took a deep breath. _Damn! That's my job! Pull yourself together, Elliot, and give him the damned answer!_ When he now continued his voice sounded stronger and his posture was straighter than before. "The act of achieving sexual pleasure from penetrating the body with sharp objects, such as pins or needles, in his case the hat pins."

"And why would he do that?"

_That's what I wondered, too._ "Well, as our psychiatrist explained, the sharp object symbolizes the penis. I just thought it kind of gives a whole new meaning to the term needle dick."

Barry chuckled, then his men started laughing with him, though from the sound of it, most of them obviously didn't get the joke. Elliot relaxed a little and smiled in relief. Then Barry stopped laughing, and a second later the room was again filled with menacing silence.

"What else did he do?" Barry asked.

"What else?" Elliot echoed. "There was nothing else."

"Don't lie to me, Elliot. I know you're an important detective. They wouldn't waste your time on some petty little assault. What else did he do?"

_Oh, God. I thought I got away with it. Why the hell did I have to be held hostage by a smart thug. _

He had to swallow hard to clear the lump from his throat before he answered. "He… he raped his former lady boss, and then he, he stabbed her to death."

"With hatpins?" Barry asked.

_Quit toying with me you son of a bitch_, Elliot thought, _you know better. _"N-no. He used a big, serrated knife."

Silence fell over the living room. No one moved, no one spoke. Barry just stood in front of Elliot and suddenly the detective was glad that he could not see his face. He did not want to know what he might read there.

xxx

**Lavender residence**

"What the hell is he doing there?" Cragen wondered.

"He's trying to focus," a soft male voice behind him said, and when Cragen turned he found himself face to face with Dr. George Huang. "He's trying to channel his emotions and redirect them on someone else to distance himself from the man who's threatening him."

On the screen the saw Mendoza make another slow step forward. Even more slowly he pulled out his knife again and held it up between him and Elliot, twirling it in his palm.

"_What do you want to imply?" he snarled._

"_Nothing," Elliot hurriedly answered. "I never thought…"_

"I remember Jason Mayberry! That was my very first case with SVU." Huang stared at the screen. "Elliot played him well back then. Too bad that the confession was not admitted into evidence at court."

"_Of course you did," Mendoza said just then. "You saw the big knife, remembered the guy you were just talking about and started to laugh. You were laughing at me!"_

"_No."_

"_Yes, you were."_

Cragen swallowed hard when he watched Mendoza grab Elliot's chin hard and put the knife against his cheek. He could even see that it was so sharp that it scraped off some of the stubble of his beard. Elliot's eyes widened, but he was clenching his teeth. His whole body was tense and his muscles started to quiver.

_What must he feel? This bastard is toying with him in the worst way!_ With morbid fascination Cragen followed every move Mendoza and Elliot made.

"_Don't try to play by your own rules. You're not in the position to make __them up. Not at all." Barry smoothed the blade over Elliot's cheek. Certainly to emphasize his words. "And I'll prove it to you."_

_What will he do now?!_ Cragen felt a chill run down his back. On the screen, Mendoza let go of Elliot without another word, pivoted and stormed up the stairs. _That can't be good. Damn! What will he do? What will he do?_

He saw Elliot remain in place, obviously frozen with shock. _What will Elliot do? Does he have any idea what Mendoza is up to?_ Then they heard the girls scream.

"_Noooo!"__ Elliot screamed._

_Not the girls, not the girls! Don't hurt his kids, please._ Cragen felt sick to his stomach.

"Sir!" one of the SWAT team shouted. "Sir! Shall we go in?"

_God!_ Cragen had to make up his mind fast. "No," he said. "We're waiting."

"With all due respect, sir…"

"We'll wait." And he prayed that this was the right decision.

He saw Elliot start for the stairs, but the other men now left their positions in the background and intercepted him. They grabbed him by the arms and forced him back to the place he just had left.

"_Noooo!__" Elliot yelled, his voice cracking. "Let go of me! Let go!"_

_Oh, Elliot. I'm so sorry,_ Cragen thought. _I want to help you. We're all here. Just hold out just a little bit longer._ His soul was bleeding for him when he realized that it could very well take until next morning when Elliot was at court. _Please, forgive me. I can't do anything yet, not until we know Kathy and Dickie are safe._

Neither screaming nor squirming were helping Elliot. They pressed against his back and pulled backwards on his arms to force him down on his knees. Elliot struggled with everything he had, but it just was not enough.

"_No, please, no…"_

_This must hurt him sooo much._ Cragen's heart ached for his lead detective. What he had to witness would haunt him a long time, maybe forever. He did not want to begin to imagine what it would do to Elliot.

"It's strange to see him like that," Huang murmured as he sat down next to him. "I don't know him so well, but I'd say that he is rather rebellious against authorities."

"He is. Must be due to his father," Cragen mumbled barely audible. Actually it was not meant for the psychiatrist to hear. But Huang proved to have good ears.

"What's due to his father?" he queried. "His submissive behavior?"

Cragen frowned at him, then looked back at the monitor. What he saw there was not really submissive… it was misery. How Mendoza played with him made Cragen physically sick. He could not imagine the torment Elliot was put through, even as he watched it going on.

"Why did he only beat the two of them?" Cragen wondered aloud.

"Who was beaten?" Huang softly asked. "Elliot?"

Cragen looked away from the monitor and the doctor. He did not want to talk about it, but he sensed that he might help Elliot if he would. And it was on the tapes anyway.

"Elliot admitted it earlier during one of the mind games Mendoza forced on him. He was beaten by his father, he and one of his five siblings."

"Just two out of six?" Huang inquired.

"Yes." The captain now turned back to him. "Why did he just beat two of them? I mean… not that I would want the others to be beaten, too, but… I want to understand why it happened to Elliot and not to someone else!"

"Sometimes, abusive tendencies are triggered by outside stressors long after a couple starts a family," Huang said, "and then only the youngest children suffer. Where is Elliot in the birth order?"

"I'm not sure, but Elliot's dad was forced to retire by the Knapp Commission," Cragen said low enough that only Huang could hear. "Elliot would have been about six years old then."

"That's probably when the abuse started. The other one was probably another male sibling, either younger, or not much older. I take it that Elliot is the youngest of six?"

"I know that there's another younger brother. And why male?" he asked curiously.

"Elliot's Irish-Catholic, right? The men are taught to adore girls and to treat women with respect. Elliot's dad might have hit a daughter, but it would be highly unlikely."

"Hmmmm…" Thoughtfully Cragen rubbed his chin. "You know, I met his kid brother, Rick, once at a cookout. They seemed pretty close."

"How much younger is Rick?"

"No idea… maybe… five, six years. They're really similar, in looks and attitude."

Huang nodded. "Then he was probably the other target of Mr. Stabler's abuse. It also explains why Elliot has such a strong protective instinct towards everyone around him. I can almost guarantee you that he took the brunt of the abuse for his little brother."

For a moment Cragen was lost in thought again. "If Elliot really did that, took most of their father's wrath, what happened when he got married and moved out? He left home when he was eighteen… I wonder how Rick felt about it."

"Probably betrayed, at least at first."

"Well, he must have got over it. They're on very good terms now." His view was drawn by the screen again, where Elliot was still struggling against the men who held him. He grimaced. He could only admire his detective for his strength. "What you said earlier about him, having a strong protective instinct toward everyone around him… wouldn't you expect that anyway?"

"Yes. I would. I'm just saying that it is in high gear with him. It became intensified by looking out for his younger brother." Now it was Huang's turn to thoughtfully rub his chin. "And I'm quite sure that Elliot's feeling guilty for leaving Rick behind, for leading his own life and finding happiness with his wife and his children… while the brother was exposed to their father's wrath."

It pierced Cragen's heart to see Elliot, a man he truly respected and considered a friend with pride, so subdued. What was even more annoying right now was the low, impartial voice the psychiatrist was using. His blood was boiling and he had to vent it somehow.

"You know…" he whispered angrily. "I don't like the way you're talking about him… as if he's just one of his subjects."

"Don't presume for a moment that I don't feel for him, Captain," Huang replied, showing more fire than Cragen had ever seen from him while still remaining tightly controlled. "I may not know him well, but I do consider him a friend, if only because we are on the same side. I just feel I can do more good for him by thinking rationally about his situation than by fretting and worrying over activities that are entirely out of my control."

Huang's voice trailed off as they both watched horrified what was going on in the Stabler's living room.

tbc…


	34. Chapter 34

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews! They were so nice. Thanks a lot. (I'm still red, LOL)

I really made it before the premier! LOL Enjoy the new season. We're getting season six here… LOL (winks at _Iluvstabler_) Have fun.

**34**

**Stabler residence**

When he heard the girls scream his heart skipped a beat and he felt suddenly sick. Dinner rose again, but he fought it down.

_Oh, Lord! What are they doing to the poor kids?_

He heard their screams and wails and it almost ripped his heart out. The high voices certainly carried down the stairs.

And then he heard Elliot's scream wave up to them.

_Not the girls,_ John thought. _Do what you want with us, but spare the girls._

He halfway expected Elliot to storm up the stairs and knock down whoever dared to get close to his daughters, but there was no sound indicating a raging father on the stairs.

If he would not have been cuffed to the desk, he would do the same. He'd grab the idiot who dared to mess with him, and beat him to a pulp. But he was bound and damned to sit and listen as it happened.

The girls were screaming and crying. It sent chills down John's spine. His insides were churning and his heart pounding rapidly. The imagination that the girls were suffering was too much for him.

"Stop that!" he yelled. "Leave them alone! You bastard! What kind of man attacks the girls to get to their father? You coward!"

It only took seconds and Barry burst through the door. His pants zipper was still open.

"Shut the hell up!" he burst out. "Or I'll shut you up!"

"What have you done to them?" John croaked.

"That's none of your business." Without further warning he slapped John hard. "Keep quiet! Or I swear, you'll never talk again!"

John swallowed a sharp reply. His cynicism was in little demand right now.

Barry spun around on his heels and stormed out.

_Oh, Lord. What is he doing? What will he do?_

John heard footfall, then, through the gap of the door he caught a glimpse of Barry, dragging Maureen to the stairs.

_Oh, no! Please! Don't hurt them! Don't hurt Maureen! Don't hurt Elliot!_

There was nothing he could do and that made him sick. He desperately wished for a chance to take the perps out, but he was afraid that he would not get one.

The cuff bit in his wrist and reminded him of his predicament. This would be a long evening and an even longer night before Elliot would testify next morning.

John sighed and tried to find a more comfortable position. Another hopeless task.

xxx

Elliot still strained against the hold of his captors when Barry came back down again. He was holding Maureen by her hand. By first sight she seemed to be okay, was just pale and shivering as she stumbled along at his side. When she saw her father on his knees in the merciless grip of three men she tried to run to him, but Barry held her firmly by the arm. She stopped struggling and swallowed hard, and her white cheeks filled with color again when she blushed.

"Maureen!" Elliot croaked. "Wh…what did he do to you?"

"No…nothing, Dad," she mumbled, looking down at her feet. Her voice became lower and lower as she continued, "He… just made us l…look at it. He… wants me to tell you that it's not small."

"Say it, Maureen," Barry pushed.

So she squinted up at her father again. All color drained from her face when she now could see his bare chest with the long cut and the dark red brand on his shoulder.

_Oh Lord, no,_ Elliot thought. _Poor Maureen. This must be an even bigger shock._

From her he could not shy back. Intently Elliot looked up at her, trying to catch her eyes. When they met, he held her gaze and his heart ached for his eldest when he saw the raw pain in her features. With his own look he tried to transport his love and all the encouragement he could muster. Her eyes were swimming with tears, but after a few seconds she blinked them back and straightened up a little. He saw her swallow.

"He's… not a… a needle dick," she said.

_That's my girl, my big brave girl,_ Elliot thought with pride. Then anger flared.

"You… you…"

"Hold your tongue, Elliot. That might be better for you and your kids."

Elliot was shaking with rage. He could not hide it this time. His blue eyes spread fire and his teeth were bared.

_Showing me your true face?_ Barry wondered. He nodded at one of the men. "Llévela arriba otra vez."

And the man took her arm and dragged the resisting girl with him.

"You're a brave guy," Barry said, approaching him and grabbing his chin. "Or are you just stupid?" Now he chuckled. "Okay, that was some fun to divert our thoughts, and now you'll answer my questions! You don't do this right, and we'll continue to play strip interrogation. Got me?"

"Yeah," Elliot mumbled as best as he could as his chin still stuck in the vice of Barry's hand.

"Okay, so when the defense asks you if it is possible that two completely different men crossed your path..."

_I'll tell everyone that you're a sadistic little prick who's been holding us hostage since Sunday morning,_ Elliot thought bitterly. His heart ached as if it was about to explode. _Then Pablo will rot in prison!_

"I'll tell them that that's absolutely possible," he answered aloud.

"Right. You can admit that you arrested them, but you'll sow doubts."

_I'll kill you if you just touch one of my family. Oh no, there it is again._

Something in Elliot's eyes alarmed Barry. He sensed his defiance.

_I have to nip that in the bud._ "Get him up again." And his men pulled Elliot to his feet. One head-gesture and they let go of him. Elliot stood, trembling.

"Awww. Are you scared?" Barry teased, playing with the knife in his hand. Through the mask Elliot could not see his deep frown now.

_I'm shaking with rage,_ Elliot thought and tried to not let that show.

"Do _not_ move," Barry commanded sternly. "If you make me slip, things could get very messy."

When the thug leaned forward and grabbed him by the ankle, Elliot instinctively kicked back. So Barry brought his forearm up hard.

Blinding pain exploded through Elliot's body as it connected hard with his crotch. Fighting hard not to cry out, he leaned forward, gasping for breath, and his arms went around his lower body. Water shot into his eyes. _God, don't make me scream._ Still it hurt like hell! _I don't want the girls to hear me and become even more frightened than they already are._

But he could not completely suppress a groan.

"Por lo menos, ahora sabemos que tiene cojones, no?"

Barry's men chuckled at what was apparently a joke, and because he didn't want the taunt lost on Elliot, Barry translated. "At least now we know you have balls, don't we? If you didn't that wouldn't have hurt." Under his mask he grinned devilishly. "Now, hold still! That means, get your arms behind your back again and straighten up! Then do _not_ move!"

Elliot fought hard to comply. To put his arms behind his back was the easier part. His lower body hurt badly when he tried to stand straight. _You bastard!_

Once more he felt Barry's hand on his right calf. On his shin he felt the back of the blade when Barry pushed the knife under the seam of the jeans he wore… _still_ wore. His muscles hardened with avoidance, but he could not do anything.

The ripping sound of the fabric sent shivers down his back. _God, help me! Help me find strength to endure this._ He closed his eyes, but that proved to be worse.

With the sharp knife Barry did not have to make quick cuts but could work slowly. It sliced trough the jeans like it was cutting through butter.

_It's not meant to hurt,_ Elliot told himself. _It's to punish me. It's a test and I have to prove if I can pass it._

He felt it on his thigh now and soon it reached the waistband. There Barry stopped.

Then he took Elliot's left calf in hand. When the detective flinched slightly back when he felt Barry grab for the leg, Barry dug his fingers deeper in. He brought the knife down and slid it beneath the jeans. Then he started to move it upwards and Elliot gnashed his teeth. He sucked in air through his nose when the knife just missed his middle.

This time Barry pushed the blade under the waistband and exerted pressure.

_Rrratch!_

Then he ripped the other side, too, and pulled the halves away.

Elliot swallowed. His tense posture and grinding teeth testified to the pain he still was in. He already was exposed to the disposal of his captors. Now there were just his… _Noooo!_

Barry had grabbed his briefs. With two quick cuts they were gone.

_Oh, shit!_

"I guess I hit you harder than I thought. Maybe you're swelling down there." Barry chuckled. "I thought I'd just relieve the pressure for you. Is that better now?"

Elliot refused to answer. He felt awfully humiliated to be now that exposed to the men who held him and his family at gunpoint. And then…

…he felt the cold steel against his privates.

"When I ask a question, I expect an answer. You should know that by now!"

Elliot knew he was not supposed to answer no. "Y…yes, thank you," he replied, feeling sick. "It d…doesn't hurt so much now."

"Well, you won't forget about our demands tomorrow when you're sitting on the stand, right?" Barry teased.

"No, I won't." Elliot swallowed his pride. All he could do was to endure what Barry was forcing on him. He had to take it… he had to take it for his girls. _Poor Maureen. It must have shocked her to the core to see me like that. Not that I'm on my knees, but the wounds I have sustained. Will she tell Kat and Lizzie? Or will she keep it to herself? I'd say she'll keep it to herself. Damn bastard! Get finished and let me go up to them._

The first questions Elliot answered automatically without realizing what he said. His worries got him sidetracked. So once again he missed something Barry asked him. And this time the reaction followed right away.

Barry grabbed Elliot's left arm, whirled him around and twisted the limb back, forcing Elliot two steps to the side and down on his knees. The detective gasped with pain. His arm was pinned on the top of the coffee table, Barry kneeling on his forearm.

Elliot could hear the knife slide out of its sheath and swallowed thickly. His right arm had been free until one of the other men took hold of it and twisted it behind his back.

Then Elliot's heart skipped a beat.

Against the base of his left ring finger he felt the blade of Barry's big hunting knife.

"I'm going to take the last thing you're wearing," Barry declared, chuckling devilishly.

_Oh Lord, no! Please! No! _ "I'm sorry!" he panted. "It's the stress. I'll listen to you, I promise."

"Yeah… I bet you will."

_Please don't do this…_ Elliot started to shiver. In the position he was in, he could not defend himself, not the least bit.

"I'm sorry," he gasped. "Don't do this…"

"Why shouldn't I?" Barry asked coldly, pressing the blade harder against Elliot's flesh.

Elliot sucked in a sharp breath through clenched teeth.

"No." He was close to tears. "Don't… please." _God, help me! I begged!_

The ensuing silence was deafening. Elliot hardly dared to breathe. His head was bowed, eyes closed, water burning in their corners. His lips were quivering and his body was about to do the same.

_Oh, God, talk with me!_ Elliot thought. _C'mon! Put the knife aside and talk. Please._

But Barry did not react. He was waiting. Waiting for the tension to build. He enjoyed having the proud detective at his mercy.

Finally first twitches gave Elliot's distress away. Hard tremors ran through his body. Barry could feel him shiver. _Now just a bit longer…_

Biting his lower lip, Elliot tried to calm down. It did not work. The feeling of cold steel against the base of his finger made him sick. In addition to everything else bile rose and burned his throat.

"Let go!" Barry ordered.

Elliot did not get at once what he meant, but the knife vanished and Barry took the ring between his fingers, trying to strip him of it. Automatically Elliot's muscles tensed and his fingers closed to a fist so that Barry could not get his wedding band off.

"Let go of it!" Barry snapped. "You just have this one chance. You don't obey, I'll cut off your finger to get what I want!"

_Thanks for the warning!_ Feeling absolutely sick now he desperately tried to relax his hand. The effort made him tremble even more.

Kneeling on him Barry felt that the tension changed. Once more he tried to remove the ring, but it did not come off easily. Elliot had not taken it off for years. As much as Barry enjoyed making the arrogant cop suffer, he could not risk raising suspicions next morning at court. And a broken finger would raise suspicions. It would require an explanation, and a good one.

So when he heard Elliot groan in pain, he stopped pulling. Pushing away from his captive, he sat down on the coffee table.

"Take it off and give it to me. Now!" he ordered.

_Oh no!_ Inwardly Elliot sighed. Still the second man was holding him in a hard clasp so that he could not follow the order even if he wanted to.

Barry gestured the man to back off. Obediently he let Elliot go.

Elliot did not raise his head when he straightened up slightly. He could not look up at his captor. Still he tried to take the emotional blow as well as the physical. Sitting on his heels now he stared straight ahead and did not see much except Barry's body. In contrast to the black clothes the blade of the knife was shining, being held loosely by the hand resting in the lap. Trapped in morbid fascination he stared at the reflections of light, dancing on the blade.

Slowly Elliot got his arms in front of him, then he took the ring with two fingers and tried to get it off. It did not work at once. He had to pull and turn it until it finally slid off of his finger. Elliot grimaced. The thin gold ring burned his palm and seemed to weigh a ton.

Elliot was shivering when he stretched out his arm to let the ring drop into Barry's waiting hand. Still he did not raise his look. _Why's the damned knife so fascinating? It's nothing more than a knife!_ He swallowed. _That's not true,_ he berated himself. _It's showing his power over me. Damn!_

His disputing thoughts did not go unnoticed by Barry. The man looked at the shining ring on his black covered palm, then he put it in his pocket. Turning to Elliot again he chuckled.

"When you say that the knife would represent my manhood, what does that tell us about you, staring at it all the time?" Barry teased.

Before he even knew it, blood shot into Elliot's cheeks and made him blush deeply.

"Awwww, how cute." Now Barry laughed out loud… and he was not the only one.

_Oh, shit!_ Elliot wished for a hole to vanish into. Never before he had felt so embarrassed.

Barry got up and disappeared into the hall. Elliot could hear him go down in the cellar. A few minutes later he was back again, holding a heavy pruning shear in his left hand.

_What the hell does he want with that?_ Once more Elliot's insides constricted.

"I'll free you of one responsibility," Barry said and pulled out Elliot's wedding ring.

_What the fuck…?!_

In the same second that Barry put the ring between the blades, Elliot realized what he intended to do.

"No!" he gasped, almost reaching out for the ring.

But it was too late. With an awful _snick_ sound the golden ring fell to the floor in two parts.

Tears shot into Elliot's eyes and his heart and lungs felt as if they were about to explode.

"Nooo," he sobbed and fell forward on his hands, reaching for the halves of his wedding band. He was shaking and did not even try to disguise his mourning.

Barry stepped forward and the small metal bows vanished out of reach under his black boots. By a hair's breadth he missed Elliot's fingers.

The detective crouched at his feet, staring at the black boots. He could not move. His insides felt numb now, stunned by the shock of the destruction of his wedding ring. He did not shiver anymore, he hardly breathed. Actually he felt as if his body was an empty shell, just barely holding together what was left of him… what, right now, did not seem to be very much.

"It's over," Barry said. "One worry less for you."

These words hardly reached his mind. It took him some time to process what Barry said. Then the numbness became chilly. In the matter of seconds he was freezing. Where Kathy had been before, he felt a void in his heart, a gaping hole, ripped open by the man towering over him.

"Why?" he mumbled tonelessly.

"What did you say?" Barry asked back. "I couldn't understand you."

"Why?" Elliot repeated just a fraction louder and with a shaky voice. Barry refused to answer. Or maybe he did not have an answer.

"You have my family. So you have all you need." Still he was barely audible and speaking to the floor. "You know that I'd do anything for them. You don't need other force, so why… are you doing this?"

His voice was so soft and low that Elliot himself could hardly recognize it. Still he got no answer, but he felt a gloved hand take his chin again. Barry tilted his head back and forced him to sit up again.

"Pablo asked me to," Barry simply said.

_So that's it?_ Elliot wondered, staring at the triangular glasses. _It's just about revenge?_ On second thought, it was almost always about revenge. _That's as good as a confession, a confirmation that Pablo Mendoza orchestrated this and not that it is being done on his behalf without his knowledge._

Another thought hit him. _And if Pablo Mendoza is behind this and this Barry-guy is playing around here… what does that tell me about his relationship to Pablo? They could be close… one of his siblings?_

This was disturbing. He knew the stories the women told about their forced stay in the whorehouse. They had haunted him for days. These women were so afraid of their tormentors that they just told what happened to them, but not one of them actually accused or identified someone.

"You know, Elliot," Barry said. "Pablo never was meant for prison. It's a sin to put him behind bars. You have sinned, Elliot."

_Sinned?_ Elliot was confused. _That's what you think we're doing? You probably think that we harass Hispanics just for fun?_ It was so ridiculous. _Yes, it's somewhat ridiculous, but that makes him dangerous._

"When's the last time you went to confession, _amigo_?" Barry teased. "What did you have to confess? Some evil deeds?"

Towering over his captive he still held his chin. With his arms held behind his back Elliot surrendered himself to him. He liked that. In the blue eyes he could read the misery the detective certainly was feeling.

"Or was it something else? That you were fooling around with that sexy partner of yours? Be honest… not everything you were doing late at night at the station was your job, right?"

Elliot did not respond. There was nothing he could say. Okay, to remain silent somehow conceded Barry's point to that matter.

"You're so pathetic. I'm surprised that Kathy stayed so long with you. Must be because she knows that she would never find another idiot who would help her feed her bastards."

_Our kids are no bastards!_ Elliot screamed inwardly. _They're so wonderful, beautiful and all our kids. They're the world to us!_

"I bet that's why you're such a workaholic, too. You neglect your family because you can't stand to be home with her. Whatever your kids have to do, sports or music, you never have time to come and attend their activities." Barry enjoyed feeling him strain unconsciously against his grip. "I'll bet you're so dedicated to your job that you can't even make it to parent-teacher conferences, aren't you? And that makes you the same as your old man. You're no better than he was." Between his fingers he felt Elliot squirm uncomfortably. The taunts did not miss their aim. "You know, you should reevaluate your priorities, Elliot. Family is everything."

He pushed his chin to the side. When he straightened up again, Elliot looked down at the floor. He closed his eyes. His chest was aching, his lungs burning. It was hard to keep breathing.

"As I said, you're pathetic."

With that Barry grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him forward. Instinctively Elliot brought his arms to the front to catch his fall and to support himself. Barry pressed him down, feeling his resistance in the straining muscles.

But then Elliot let go. He sank to the ground, lying there in a heap at the feet of his captor. Barry still held his neck, but he did not move. He felt the hard grip that had held him down and slowly was released now. He knew that he was beaten. All he could do now was to trust his colleagues to be there in case an opportunity offered itself. He knew he would die, and all he wanted was to at least keep his family safe.

Tears stung Elliot's eyes, but he did not cry.

xxx

**Lavender residence**

"So what's going on over there?" Olivia asked as soon as she passed the threshold.

"Mendoza's toying with him," Cragen said, not turning away from the screen. He did not want to tell her everything that happened right now. She would find out soon enough.

"And how's he doing?" Her voice carried her anxiety.

Cragen looked at Huang, Huang at Cragen, Simmons searched eye contact with the sergeant who was in charge of the surveillance equipment, Dillard went off to make water. They all were silent. And in the silence they heard the hard, erratic breathing which was close to sobs but still not crying.

Olivia stepped to the monitor, unable to turn her gaze away from it. Her partner lay on the floor with nothing to cover him. Mendoza stood over him, silent, unmoving, just staring at Elliot. The only sounds were Elliot's strained breaths.

_Oh, my God!_ Her own breath caught in her lungs. _Elliot! C'mon, partner! Fight!_

They were watching for minutes, but nothing happened.

"Oh, c'mon, El," Olivia whispered. "Don't let him do that to you. Don't give up. Please."

But Elliot did not move at all. They could not see his face so no one could try and read his expression. And as much as they wished that it would not be true, just the way he was lying there told them that he was broken.

"He put a lot of stress on him," Huang said in his typical calm and impassionate voice. "It's possible that he just needs a break."

"What has he done?" Olivia breathed. "How could he break him down like this?"

"I would not exclude that they're both playing a game."

"A game?!" Olivia exploded. "That's no freaking game! That's reality!"

"For Mendoza it's a game," Huang replied in the same unnerving soft voice he always used. "It's an essential part of his plan to subdue Elliot. He forces the rules on him and Elliot has to play by them if he wants them all to survive."

Olivia was more than just skeptical. While they had been out questioning neighbors and talking with Terry Deaver darkness did fall. _Not only night_, she concluded, _but desperation, too._

Everyone could see and almost feel the anxiety she was radiating.

_She's feeling deeply for her partner,_ Cragen thought. _Good that she has not seen his worst nightmare coming true. When Mendoza went upstairs… that was a clear threat to the girls… and we know that he's somehow connected to the trade with women for the whorehouses._ He swallowed. _A presumed rapist went up to his daughters, a__nd Elliot could do nothing to stop him. Still he was fighting, it did not break him, so I think that Huang's right. It's kind of a pause in their game now._

"Elliot survived physical and emotional abuse before, Olivia," Huang said. "He not only survived, but he also founded a successful family. Don't assume that he's broken until we have proof for it."

"How can you say that? Look at him! He's defeated…" her voice trailed off.

"I'm not so sure he is." He looked intently at her, trying to divert her attention from the screen to him. "He was abused as a child. You know what children can do to protect themselves from abusive parents. You see it on your job every day. So you know that these kids have proven strategies to deal with their predicament and their tormentors. We let Elliot know that we're here. It's absolutely possible that he is giving in to Mendoza's game, waiting for us to do our job."

"But…" Olivia started to protest.

"They're safe until he has testified," Huang cut her short. "Whatever Elliot did was meant to draw the perps' attention on himself. Not everything worked, but right now it does. Mendoza wanted to degrade him, to break him… and Elliot's giving him what he wants."

"You don't know that!" Olivia's voice was laden with fear. "And it sure as hell doesn't look like that!"

"Imagine what might happen if Mendoza turns on the girls," Huang said softly.

Olivia froze, once more staring at the monitor. _What would he do then? He would not just let it happen… or would he? No, no chance that he would!_

"He'd fight for them," she said.

Huang nodded. "You've got to give him some credit. Have faith in him."

_I have,_ she thought miserably. _I just hope that he will have faith in me after what I did today at court._ Painfully she was reminded of how she had hit him right in the face. _Oh, God, Elliot! I didn't mean it, partner. I didn't know what was going on! What you did at court hurt me so much… but now I know that you're hurting even more and I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!_

Finally Olivia nodded.

"_We're not finished yet," Mendoza snarled__ right then. "C'mon! Get up and sit on the sofa. C'mon, Elliot!"_

There was not even a second of hesitation. Elliot just sat up on the floor and scrambled to his feet. Then he plopped down on the sofa. Not a single time did he raise his gaze. His eyes were fixed on the floor.

Olivia's heart was bleeding. She had to turn her back on the monitor.

"We have a witness who saw a white van on Sunday morning," she reported. "Several men left the car and went up to Elliot's house."

"We also met the Stablers' direct neighbor, Teresa Deaver," Simmons added. "When we were ringing her door she spotted Olivia and almost gave away our cover, but we could prevent that."

"She told us that she went to Elliot yesterday to ask for Kathy's help. She wanted to ask her support with preparing a surprise birthday party for her husband. Elliot told her that Kathy was not at home and that she probably could reach her today… that was before the trial was adjourned…" She sniffed. "He thought he would testify and then it would be over… one way or another."

"It will be over soon," Cragen said.

"Yeah?" she doubted. "How? We can't go in! If we go in we'll sentence Kathy and Dickie to death."

No one spoke. No one had to speak. They knew she was right.

A cell phone rang and Cragen was the one who responded to the insisting beeps, "Cragen… yeah, Fin."

He listened, nodded, then he quit the call.

"Together with the local Sheriff's office Fin and Goren are about to organize search parties. They'll start to search the area as soon as possible. Fin will go on the chopper, Goren with the sheriff on the ground. They have to search several lakes and the surrounding woods. So it will take time and as it already is dark… well, it won't get any easier."

"They will find them," Huang said confidently. "They have to find them."

"They will," Cragen confirmed.

"And then we'll free Elliot and the kids…" Olivia turned back to the monitor. Nothing had changed yet. Elliot sat on the sofa, Mendoza in an easy chair across the coffee table. He was impersonating Alex Cabot, questioning Elliot as if they were at court.

_So many times we have testified,_ Olivia thought. _The first times it was hard, then it became easier and from time to time there's a hard one among them again… but this one's pure stress for you. Oh, Elliot! I wish I could end it all right now!_

She heard his monotonous voice and wondered what was going on in her partner's mind. _Not much, right now, _she suspected, taking in his expressionless features. _You're probably just trying to function._

Olivia sighed. She was doomed to wait and that was so much worse than fighting.

xxx

**Adirondack State Park**

Kathy lay on the camp bed their captors had offered them. Unable to fall asleep she lay and let her mind wander. She was aching and exhausted, and the weight of Dickie's head on her shoulder had made her arm go numb. Shrugging slightly, she tried to shift the pressure, and soon felt the pins and needles of circulation being restored.

She closed her eyes and reached again for that unobtainable sleep. Kathy knew she would have to be alert for any opportunity. For whatever she might be able to do.

_How long until morning? How long until El will have to testify? And then? What will happen afterwards? Will they kill us all or will they let us go?_

She knew that she had not seen one of them without a mask. Neither had the kids. Still, they could not just assume that they would let them go.

A wet sounding grunt finally made her stir. Looking across the room, her gaze fell on the guard who sat at the small table, reading a magazine. Well, he had been reading a magazine, because the man who was supposed to watch them now sat slumped over the table, arms spread over it, the head lying between them. He was snoring as if he wanted to clear cut the whole surrounding forest.

_Can that be a trick? There's no way to know…_

Gently, she slipped her arm from under Dickie's head. Careful not to make a sound that would give her away she stalked over to the door, right past the snoring guard, and peeked around the corner. She could make out the other man in the cot.

They would never get another chance like this. Padding silently across the floor she returned to their camp bed. It seemed to take forever, but she did not dare to move faster for fear making noise and waking up their guard. She wakened her son with a hand covering his mouth. It was their luck that she was cautious, because he awoke with a start, his eyes flying open wide and he tried to sit up. He blinked several times and finally focused on his mother.

With her free hand she put one finger across her lips to signal him to remain silent, then she pointed to the guard. Dickie beamed at her. He was the one who signaled her that they could go and sneak to the door… and to freedom.

Kathy nodded, surprised by her nine-year-old. _I can't believe that it should be this easy._

Another pig-like grunt alerted her. If he would wake up? Dickie looked terrified.

Kathy knew the consequences of getting caught, but they were only slightly greater than the risk of remaining captive. Swallowing hard she took her son's hand, signaling him again to keep quiet, and led their way to the door.

One of the boards of the floor squeaked when she stepped on it and they froze in their tracks for several seconds. Then they stalked over to the exit. Luckily, none of the locks required keys. The first one, the one in the doorknob, turned with a quiet snick. The chain slid silently out of its slot. The deadbolt, however, made a horrifying clatter as it slid out of place, and it was promptly followed by a loud snort and the squeak of the chair shifting under the weight of their captor.

Hearts pounding, they both looked over their shoulders, and breathed simultaneous sighs of relief when they realized that he was just repositioning himself in his sleep. The door didn't even squeak when they pulled it open. It was surreal.

Kathy was about to step out on the porch when Dickie's hand slipped out of hers. _What?_ She looked around and saw him sneak back to the table. He looked back to her and grinned. Kathy thought she would have a heart attack.

_What are you doing? _she mouthed and gestured him to come back.

He reached up on the table and picked up the cell phone that lay there. Looking for any keys he leaned over the tabletop, but there were none.

_Oh my God, come here!_ Kathy was close to panic. She gestured even more wildly and he finally padded over to her. She shoved him out of the door and followed him. On the porch she looked around, waiting a moment until her eyes had adjusted to the moonlight.

Dickie pointed to the van. Before she could stop him he ran over and opened the door.

_No! Be quiet!_ It was not so loud and he climbed in to look around. Then he was out again, shaking his head. _No keys._

_We're out in the woods and I have no idea in which direction to go to find civilization. We can't just follow the road because it's there where they'll search first. Damn! It won't be so easy after all._

She grabbed for the doorknob to close the door behind them. But as silently as it had opened it now squeaked loudly as she pulled it shut. Her eyes widened with panic. From inside she heard a grunt, the rumble of a chair…

"Carlos!" yelled one of them.

She spun around on her heels and jumped down the two steps of the porch. Reaching out for Dickie she ran as fast as she could towards the tree line.

"¡Carlos! Se han escapado!"

Kathy grabbed her son's hand and dragged him with her as she dove between the trees into the brushwood.

"Ouch!" he yelled as a branch hit him.

"Shush!" Kathy hushed him, forcing her way through the bushes. The undergrowth cracked treacherously under their shoes.

"¿Dónde están?" one of the men bellowed, stumbling out on the porch.

"¡No sé!" the other replied. "¡Vámonos!"

"Where are they?" Dickie breathed, hurrying alongside his mother.

"I don't know… and I don't want to find out," she replied. "C'mon, run!"

They were out and Kathy did not intend to be recaptured.

tbc…


	35. Chapter 35

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. :D Sorry it took me so long this time. Welcome _SJ-88_, this chapter's for you.

**35**

**Stabler residence**

Still clad in nothing but his fear and loathing of Barry, Elliot sat on the sofa, answering to Barry's questions. Regardless of Elliot's obvious distress, Barry played the cross exam hard with him. When he finally was satisfied, the detective's head was swimming.

"Okay… let's talk about one more thing before you can join them."

_Join them? Join who?_ By now Elliot was so confused that he did not even get that Barry was talking about his kids at first.

"About what?" Elliot asked.

"I got to prepare some things," Barry explained. "Come."

Barry gestured Elliot to follow him and went up the stairs to the master bedroom.

"You know, this adjournment thwarted our plans. So it's a relief to know that I can rely on you. I _can_ rely on you, can't I?"

Elliot sensed a test and braced himself to play the game.

"Yes," he answered. Feeling the growing tension between them he added, "You can rely on me."

"Good." He eyed his captive from head to toe. If it was still disturbing Elliot to be completely exposed to him, he did not let it show. "Kneel down," he ordered.

And Elliot complied without any hesitation. He knelt in front of Barry and sat down on his heels. He even put his hands behind his back.

Barry chuckled.

"As I said, I gotta prepare some things. And to do that, I'll have to leave your hospitable house."

_Yeah, do that!_ Elliot glanced up at his captor. _Take the others with you!_

"So you'll have to strictly follow my orders."

"I will do that," Elliot replied tonelessly.

"Then you'd better look at me," Barry said.

He put his palm against the side of Elliot's neck and felt the detective stiffen up. _So touches are still out of the question. _Inwardly he chuckled again. _I bet you hate that. Well, you don't have a choice._ Smoothing his thumb over the cheek with its light stubble, he felt satisfied at the hardening muscles under his palm. Elliot's lips made a wet sound when they parted to let him draw in a deep steadying breath. A tremor ran through his body which Barry felt as a light fluttering against his hand.

Then Barry pushed his thumb under the detective's chin and bent his head back. Elliot stiffened up. Several seconds passed before his eyes followed, too.

Out of skeptical narrowed eyes Elliot looked up at his captor. He sucked in his lower lip to chew on it. As usual he could see nothing but his own reflection in the glasses. It was one thing to play his game, but he never liked to be touched and the forced contact made him sick.

For almost a minute Barry did not move. He enjoyed the play of muscles under his touch and the play of features. Obviously Elliot tried hard not to let his feelings show, but after all the time and the hard games Barry had played with him, his efforts did not really succeed.

"Okay." Barry nodded at one man standing under the door. "Joe will take care of everything while I'm gone. Don't annoy him. He's not as benevolent as I am."

_You're benevolent?_ Elliot did not get the joke. He was tired and hurt all over his body. He just wanted to be left alone. _No more games, please. Tell me what you want and go_.

"So you'll behave over night, right?" Barry left the sentence open.

Inwardly Elliot rolled his eyes. "Yes, I will," he pressed through gritted teeth. Still he stuck in Barry's grip, his head tilted back. He could not make himself relax. His body tensed automatically against the unwanted contact. And that made Barry harden his grip even more.

"Well, you know exactly what to do, right?"

"Yes, I do," Elliot mumbled.

"Tell me."

"Keep quiet over night, get up and prepare for court, go to court and testify in favor of Mendoza." Elliot heard himself say the words, but somehow it seemed to be someone else he was listening to. _When did I become so obedient?_

"Yeah."

Barry let go of him, but Elliot remained in position because he did not want to annoy his captor with something so simple.

"I tell you what I'm gonna do. I'll let you spend the night with your girls. You won't try anything, tomorrow you'll testify… and we will leave. It's just that simple."

Elliot nodded. He did not trust his voice.

"Do you have to use the toilet before you go to bed?"

"Might be better," Elliot admitted.

"Okay, then go."

Elliot stood and went to the bathroom. Of course the door remained open while he relieved himself and a guard was standing under the frame. Still Elliot was naked. So he tried once more to stand with his back to the guard. When he was finished he also brushed his teeth… and found it hard to let the brush circle. His hand was shaking and he washed the brush and put it into the cup on the shelf.

Standing over the washbowl, both hands on the rim to support himself, he took a deep breath, trying to get his body under control. _Oh my, how will I make it through the night?_ He blinked back a single tear. _The girls will be with me… I don't even know if that is such a good idea._ His head bowed he stared into the washbowl. _How long until they come and get me? They won't let me stay here forever, trying to think about nothing._ Slowly he raised his head.

In the mirror, Elliot studied his features. He was pale except for the wounds on his chest and shoulder. The brand needed treatment, even he could tell that. It burnt like hell… as if the iron still pressed against his flesh.

Elliot took a deep breath and turned to leave before he was asked to come.

Back in the bedroom, Elliot found Barry standing by the footboard of the king sized bed. Now a chain was attached to the left post. Elliot swallowed.

"Come over here, Elliot," Barry ordered.

Reluctantly, but still without noticeable hesitation, Elliot went to the bed. Barry held the other end of the chain as well as a padlock.

_Is that really necessary?_ Elliot wondered miserably. _I won't attack you._

"Your right foot," Barry said.

Crossing his arms behind his back, Elliot stretched his right leg a bit forward. Barry squatted down to wind the chain around his ankle.

"Can I ask you for something?" Elliot said, his voice slightly shaking, right as Barry reached for his leg.

The masked man looked up at him.

"You make me curious," Barry chuckled. "What could that be?"

"Briefs and a t-shirt," Elliot replied.

"Are you cold? Don't worry. You'll be under the covers soon."

Elliot clearly heard the sarcasm in these words. He ground his teeth. _You want me to tell you exactly why I want clothes, right? Bastard!_

Once more Barry reached for his leg.

"Not for me," Elliot whispered. "For the girls."

Slowly Barry raised his head again.

"Sorry, Elliot, but you have to speak a bit louder to make yourself heard."

Closing his eyes, Elliot breathed hard. His chest rose and fell for a few times before he was able to speak again.

"I don't want to scare the girls," he said.

"Hmmm… I knew there had to be something else," Barry teased. He straightened up and reached for one of the drawers. When he did not find what he was looking for, he opened the second and got out dark blue briefs. He threw them at Elliot and turned to the cupboard to search for a shirt.

Elliot bowed and slipped the pants on. Then he received a t-shirt from Barry and pulled it over his head. The fabric burnt on his injured shoulder, but he did not care. He could not stand the thought of Lizzie and Kathleen seeing his wounds. It was bad enough that Maureen had to see him like that.

Before he was asked again, he stretched out his leg. Finding a spot on the wall, he fixed his gaze on it to avoid looking at Barry who squatted down to finish what he started. The thought of kicking his captor in the face while he was down there drifted through Elliot's mind, but it didn't stay long enough to qualify as a temptation. He knew too well what was at risk, so it wasn't hard to let such rebellious thought go. He felt the chain slide around his ankle and sucked in a sharp breath, but he did not move. The snap of the padlock thundered through the silence and chased chills down Elliot's spine.

"Okay," Barry said, getting up again.

Elliot was about to sit down on the bed when Barry stopped him.

"To make myself absolutely clear: You won't say a word until you're at court. Not to Joe, not to the girls, not to John, to nobody. Got me?"

"Yeah," Elliot mumbled, avoiding looking at him.

"Good." With a gesture he ordered Elliot to sit down. "So, I have to go now. If you keep your promise and do as you're asked, we won't see each other again."

_You always meet each other twice in your life,_ Elliot thought. _I'll find you, you bastard. And when I do you'll wish you had never met me._

"Goodbye, Elliot."

_Yeah, go looking for a rathole. Make yourself comfortable, because you'll spend a lot of time in there once this is over._

"Don't I get a _goodbye_ from you?" Barry teased.

"Goodbye."

Under his mask Barry grinned, then he turned on his heels and left.

xxx

**Adirondack State Park**

Fin was back on the chopper. While they took off and flew over the surrounding area of Newcomb he allowed himself to relax just long enough to wolf down his burger.

Under the chopper the woods were gliding past. In the shine of the big searchlight the treetops melted to a single green mass.

"We'll fly over Lake Harris first," the pilot said over the intercom.

"There are several places where we could find the van," Sheriff Kilworth added. "Lake Harris is easy to reach and there are a lot of cabins."

"Where should we try next if we don't find it there?" Fin asked.

"Rich Lake, Newcomb Lake, maybe Beaver Flow," the sheriff replied.

"Just the lakes?" Fin wondered. "What about hunters' cabins?"

"There are some, yes," Deputy Mason said. "But most of them are deep in the woods."

"And as your guys have been fishing we should rather search the lakes," Kilworth said.

"Yeah, that's true," Fin mumbled. He stared out of the window but just saw the treetops rush by. His hopes were sinking at this sight. "What kind of terrain is this? What game can you hunt here?"

"Nothing's in season right now. Fall and winter you can hunt a variety of small game and bear and deer. They're the most popular big game around here. Then we have bobcats and coyotes, but they're not so common." Mason could imagine that the New York detective was worried. "Are you thinking about what they would be facing in case they should manage to escape?" he wondered aloud.

"Yeah…"

"Well… you don't have to worry much about traps," Mason started. "Foothold traps over seven and a quarter inches are illegal, and that's not really big enough to close on a man's foot."

"Maybe not when he's wearing hiking boots," Fin agreed, "but what about a slender woman and a nine-year-old boy who could be barefoot for all we know?"

"Hmmm," Mason said thoughtfully. "Well, there is no legal trapping right now, and any man who would poach this time of year is a fool because the fur industry only wants the dense winter coats. The only traps liable to be in the woods would have to be forgotten from last season, and that's not too common considering what they cost."

"What about people poaching deer, I hear that's a real problem?"

"Your friends won't be mistaken for game… two people running through the woods would make too much noise. After the guys you are looking for, bears and rattle snakes are the most dangerous animals."

"Bears and rattlesnakes?" Fin was stunned. Suddenly the quiet forest seamed to be dangerous, death lurking behind every tree trunk and every rock. In his mind's eye he saw Kathy and Dickie poisoned by a snake bite.

"Don't panic!" Mason chuckled. "We aren't that far from civilization, so most places will have power and phone… just finding them will be a problem, because the whole point of having a cabin out in the woods is to be away from everyone else." Mason eyed him closely. "Don't be worried too much, Fin. Bears usually avoid people and rattlesnakes hide in warm places at night."

Well, Fin could not say that this eased his fears, but he remained silent for a moment. Actually it was unlikely that Kathy and Dickie could escape. Chances were that they were still held somewhere in the cabin from the picture.

Scanning the bank of the lake with his searchlight, the chopper rounded Lake Harris. Fin could see several cabins now, but there was no sign of the white van they were looking for.

"Doesn't seem to be here," Kilworth said. "Let's take the next lake."

"Okay, sir," the pilot agreed and turned the chopper into a long curve over to Newcomb Lake.

xxx

**Lavender Residence**

"So Mendoza is leaving," Olivia gasped. "Who will shadow him?"

"Dillard?" Simmons turned to the sergeant.

"Sure," he confirmed. "I'll take Ramirez with me?"

Simmons nodded and Dillard left to get Ramirez.

"Maybe we're going to find out where they took Kathy and Dickie," Cragen mused. "For now we can only wait until Fin calls again."

_Wait!_ Inwardly Olivia cried out loud. _I don't want to wait! I _can't_ wait!_

That was when Mendoza took Elliot upstairs.

"No," Olivia gasped. "Don't…" Then she bit her tongue. _You're a selfish bitch,_ she scolded herself.

Now they could not see Elliot anymore. The living room lay deserted. They could only hear what was spoken… but that was bad enough.

_He can't take a single step, make a single move without Mendoza's permission._ Olivia shuddered with this thought. _Mendoza dictates whatever he does. He even generously allows him to go to the bathroom before he can go to bed. Oh, Elliot…_

Then she heard him return from the bathroom and how he was confronted by Mendoza once more. The clanking of the chain chased chills down her back.

_Chained to the bed?! Oh, my God! Can't you give him a single break?!_

"Wow, brave," Huang commented when they heard Elliot ask for a shirt and briefs. "That's really an interesting relationship they're developing there."

Olivia rolled her eyes. _What fucking relationship? He's holding my partner and his family captive, humiliating him and torturing him in front of his children, exposing himself to the girls. There is no _relationshipUsually she liked the psychiatrist, but how he was talking about her partner and his captor now pissed her off.

"You're fond of degrading him, too, aren't you?" she could not help but ask him.

"Beg your pardon?"

"You're talking about him as if you're watching an exciting experiment!"

"Olivia, I…"

"No! This guy's torturing my partner! He made him beg! Even for a lousy t-shirt to cover himself he made him beg! How can you stand here and… and… analyze it?"

A few seconds passed in silence. Everything seemed to pass in slow motion. Then Huang exploded.

"Look, I'm pissed off, too!" he yelled. "But that won't help Elliot! Maybe, just maybe, if I can understand how he manages to survive this, I can help him process what has happened after you rescue him! And you don't have to look so shocked at me!" He gasped for breath in his fury. "Do you think the cavalry is just going to ride in and save the day and then he'll go back to being his normal happy-go-lucky self?"

Olivia just stared at the doctor for a moment. When she finally spoke, it was not what the doctor expected to hear. "Happy-go-lucky? Elliot?"

Huang looked chagrinned. "Not an apt description, I'll admit, but the point is, I can't help him right now. All I can do is… what I can do… and that is analyze the situation and hope I come to some kind of useful observation."

His voice was surprisingly calm considering the outburst he had had just a moment before, and Olivia eyed him suspiciously.

"You bastard! You were playing me, too!" The realization burnt her insides as effectively as the fear for her partner and his family. "You son of a bitch you only yelled because you knew that's what I needed to get me focused again!"

To her surprise, the doctor blushed slightly. Still, a knowing smile crept on his features.

"That doesn't mean I'm not pissed off," he told her. "I'm feeling for Elliot as much as you do, but I don't function well when I let myself get upset and agitated. If there's any chance that my skills might prove useful, then, for Elliot's sake, I want to be ready and able to help, and I can't help if I can't function."

Olivia eyed him skeptically, but with what they heard Mendoza say next, she stiffened up. And she was not the only one.

_Not allowed to speak…_ Olivia swallowed the lump that formed in her throat. _He'll be together with his kids but may not talk with them! That's going to torture him!"_

"_Got me?" Mendoza asked and Elliot confirmed it, "Yeah."_

_God, poor Elliot!_ Olivia's insides constricted so painfully that it almost drove tears to her eyes.

They heard Mendoza bid him goodbye and it was pure sarcasm in their ears.

"_Don't I get a __goodbye__ from you?" Barry sneered._

"_Goodbye," Elliot answered dryly._

Then there was footfall and everything went silent.

"He's coming," Simmons told Dillard on the radio.

"Hope he'll lead us to Kathy and Dickie," Olivia murmured.

"Hmmm. Don't count on it," Huang said, ignoring Olivia as she shot him another glare. "A woman and a child? They're small fish to him. He'll trust his underlings to handle them. Mendoza's an important man in his world. I wouldn't be surprised if he is off to orchestrate some other operation now that he is confident he has Elliot under control."

"Chances are that he has to arrange their withdrawal," Cragen threw in. "As he said, the delay ruined their plans, now they have to improvise."

Olivia hated to agree, but she knew that he was most likely right. For now they truly were damned to wait. To wait and to hope that Fin would find Kathy and Dickie. When they were safe they could end this nightmare in a matter of minutes.

xxx

**Adirondack State Park**

Thick undergrowth made it difficult for Kathy and Dickie to run. After only a short distance they both were drenched in sweat. As much as she tried to gather speed, she felt as if they were only forging ahead at a snail's pace.

"Mom!" Dickie panted. "Not so fast."

He was clinging to her hand and stumbling along behind her.

"I don't want to go back to that cabin," she replied. "C'mon. Run!"

"Mom!"

Never slowing down she replied, "We don't know what will happen. Our only chance is to get away. So run now!"

"I _am_… running," he grumbled.

The darkness did not make their flight easier. Under the treetops it was as dark as in a cave. So she virtually ran into the brushes and cleaved their way through them.

When she broke through another row of bushes, she suddenly stumbled over a big root.

"Whoa!" she gasped, struggling to stay upright.

Dickie ran into her from behind. His bumping into her almost threw her forward and she just managed to catch her balance.

In front of them lay a dark shining surface. The lake seemed to stretch forever.

"Left or right?" she gasped.

"No idea, Mom!"

Kathy stared out over the water and tried to decide where they should go from here.

Then his grip on her hand tightened. In the next second she knew what alerted him. She heard footfall and limbs cracking.

"Come," she urged her son to the right. Starting to run over the narrow strip of bank, she pulled him with her.

_That's not the best idea,_ she thought. _It's easier to run here, but it's also easier for them to make us out. We gotta go back into the woods._

Soon they had no other choice, because the trees were standing close to the water. So the two escaped captives crashed into undergrowth once more.

_Maybe it doesn't matter at all._ Kathy tried in vain to avoid treacherous noises. In the complete darkness enclosing them now under the roof of leaves, she could only guess where they were going. _On the bank they could probably see us, in here they'll hear where we're going._

_If I only knew where we're going._ Kathy was just short of panicking. _It's so damned dark. How are we supposed to get out of here?_

She stopped as suddenly as if she had run into a tree trunk. Squatting down she pulled Dickie to her chest.

"Where do you have the phone?" she whispered, scared that the silence might carry her voice away to their haunters.

"Here, Mom," he replied, fishing it out of his pants pocket.

She took the small cell phone and flipped it open. It was not activated.

"Damn!" she gasped.

"What?" Dickie asked confused. "What's wrong with it?"

Kathy pressed several buttons. The phone started, but it asked for a code she could not know… so it was useless.

"Fuck!"

It was the first time ever that Dickie heard her cuss like that. Even as their situation was scaring, this fact amused him. "What is it?" he chuckled.

"I can't turn it on," she said.

"Let me try, Mom," he offered, taking the phone from her. But he had to notice that he could not activate it either. "Crap."

"C'mon, let's go." Grabbing his hand again, she turned to run deeper back into the forest, following their general direction they had taken when they reached the lake.

They did not get far when Dickie tugged on her jacket, trying to make her stop.

"What's that noise?" he demanded to know.

Both stood, listening, dreading to hear their pursuers. It was a mechanical noise that quickly grew louder. Then rays of light pierced the thick foliage.

"Oh, my God! A chopper!" Kathy shrieked. She knew at once that whoever was in this chopper could not see them here under the trees. "C'mon!"

_We have to find a clearing! God! Don't fly away! Please, don't!_

As fast as they could they ran over the rough ground. Actually it was not that fast since roots and holes in the soil, grass and limbs hindered their run.

_We're going to lose it!_ her soul cried when the light gained more and more distance and the sound of the engine faded into the night.

"Noooo!" she gasped and sank to her knees. At once Dickie threw himself against her back. His arms wrapped around her and hugged her tight.

"It will come back, Mom," he whispered.

_I wish I could believe that,_ she thought. _I really wish I could._

Now she really had no idea where they had to go. Not that she would have known before. Her desperation took hold of her and she began to cry in her son's arms.

xxx

**Queens**

Dillard followed the walking man with their SUV in sufficient distance around two corners, then he and Ramirez saw him climb into the passenger side of a dark green Honda.

"And we wondered how they organized that. He made no call when he was still in the house, so how did his driver know when and where he should pick him up?"

"I have no idea, Ramirez," Dillard grumbled. "Maybe he sent a text message."

"That must be it."

Ramirez leaned deeper into his seat. As Dillard was driving he had not much to do but watch. So he decided that he could make himself comfortable while doing that.

"Looks as if we're going to Brooklyn," Dillard mused.

So Ramirez took the radio and informed Simmons.

Trying not to get too close to the Honda, Dillard almost lost it when the traffic lights ahead turned red.

"That was a close call!" Ramirez grumbled. "Don't do that again! Simmons and Cragen, no, especially Detective Benson would chew our asses!"

So Dillard gathered a bit more speed, closing in on the Honda which rounded another corner now. It drove down the street and turned to the left into an alley where it stopped after about 50 yards. Dillard parked their SUV across the street so that they could look into the alley.

They saw Mendoza leave the car and vanish into a house.

"Where are we now?" Dillard asked.

Ramirez craned his neck to look at a sign at the next crossing. "Jefferson Street… sounds familiar."

"Doesn't that Moreno guy live here? The one Fin was interviewing?"

"Yeah, I think so."

Both cops stared at the building Mendoza had entered. The driver never left the Honda. When Mendoza returned about ten minutes later, he just sank in the passenger seat again and the car took off. Dillard had to hurry to get their SUV started so fast. Then he turned their car and steered it into the alley, following Mendoza.

The dark Honda was a good distance ahead now and turned from the alley to the left on the next street.

Just when Dillard wanted to follow, a garbage truck turned into the alley and Dillard just barely stopped the car in time.

"Shit!" he screamed. "Fucking shit!"

Dillard honked the car's horn and turned on the siren, waving at the driver to drive backwards, but it did not help.

"Now we'll get our asses chewed," Ramirez said laconically though honestly, he was far more upset about losing the man who had been terrorizing a fellow officer than he was about catching hell from his commanding officer. He reached for the radio to call Simmons, and when the lieutenant answered he took a deep breath and meekly said, "We've lost Mendoza."

tbc…


	36. Chapter 36

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. :D LOL I'll keep the suggestion of _iq2two_ in mind for the sequel… LOL Special thanks to my beta, you're a great help and an inspiration (hugs).

**36**

**Stabler residence**

Elliot sat on the edge of the king sized bed and tried desperately not to shake. His eyes were closed, his lower lip quivering. He had to open his eyes and search a point where he could fix his gaze on. Otherwise he would explode. Never before, not even during the births of their children, he had felt so helpless.

It tore his soul to pieces.

On his right ankle he felt the weight of the chain. It was not a heavy chain, but it held him perfectly securely. He would not be able to get it lose from the bed without destroying the bed frame.

_Why must he do that? He knew I wouldn't try to escape. I'd never be able to get all of us to safety on my own… and he knew that._ He swallowed a sob that threatened to suffocate him. _There's so much at risk… I can't do anything… I can't! I can only obey… and hope that Barry will keep his word._

_And that Liv and the gang will find Kathy and Dickie…_

Once more he felt tremors run through his body. Fear kept him alert, put constant strain on him like a child's toy that had been wound too tight.

_They won't do anything before they know where they are, will they?_ Elliot stared at a knothole in the inlay of the closet. _Please… find them. Get them out and help us! Please, Liv, come! Please!_

Actually it was not the fear that paralyzed him. It was the rage, the all consuming rage he had to reign in that ate his body inside out. The psychological torture caused him physical pain and he could not tell if he would be able to endure it any longer. Even though he appeared to be calm and obedient from the outside, he was about to explode.

Still Elliot was focusing on the knothole. He tried to empty his mind and think of nothing because not even the thought of his kids could sooth him… it just made him more scared and angry.

"So," Joe suddenly said. "You're all alone on this big bed of yours. Guess you had a lot of fun in there…"

Elliot raised an eyebrow at him questioningly.

"Your kids," Joe smirked. "They didn't come by mail…" He chuckled and saw the detective tense. "Your Kathy… how's she? You've been married for so long, doesn't that become boring?"

Without letting go of his focus point Elliot shook his head.

"I guess she's all right, but she looks kind of… how you say it? Frigid to me. I like Latin women, dark, glossy hair, a little bit of fire in them."

This time Elliot just shrugged.

"Well, we lured out the fire in her," Joe laughed. "I bet you never made her scream like we did, or did you?"

_We?_ Elliot's head shot up. _We?_

"She's good at her _handiwork_," Joe teased, emphasizing the last word. "Well, not worth twenty years of one's life…"

_We?_ It still echoed in Elliot's head. _You mean he let more than one of you hurt her? I'll kill him! I'll kill the son of a bitch!_

Elliot opened his mouth to respond, but Joe forestalled him.

"Ah, ah, ahh! No talking, remember?"

_Oh, yes! I remember!_ His blood was boiling. Chained to the bed, his wife and kids being held hostage, a man mocking him… and he could not even verbally fight back.

"Guess she just stayed with you because she knew that she wouldn't find someone else to feed her brats."

_You shouldn't talk about things you don't understand…_ Elliot fixed his gaze on the knothole again. But then a pair of black pants stepped in the way and blocked his view.

"Something interesting there?" Joe asked innocently.

Elliot shook his head. _Dammit!_

"Hmmm…" He closed in on him and grabbed his chin, tilting his head back. "Look at me when I'm talking with you."

_I wonder if Barry would be happy if he knew you were playing with his toy?_ Once more he was stuck in a human vice, but somehow he did not feel the same way he felt with Barry. He could not take him as seriously… because he was, in fact, Barry's toy.

"You're pathetic."

"Eh!" another man interrupted him. "_¿Qué pasa aquí_?"

Elliot knew that phrase. _What's up. Please, please don't let him decide to join in the fun._

"Una prueba, es todo," Joe replied.

_What kind of explanation is he giving him? How does the bastard make it sound so innocent?_

"¡Deja esa mierda! Hay que cumplir las órdenes."

Elliot felt the tiniest measure of relief. He knew _mierda_ meant shit, but he could only guess the rest by the way it was said. _Sounds like Joe's catching hell for toying with me, as if the other's barring him from playing this game. Oh, God, please let that be what he's saying. Please!_

Doc was the one approaching the bed now. He had his bag in his hand.

_What now?!_ Inwardly Elliot cried out. _No! Please don't do that! Please don't sedate me! No!_

When he looked up at Doc it stood clearly in his now dark blue eyes… his fear.

"Shhh," Doc soothed. "I'm not here to knock you out."

Actually that did not ease Elliot's fear. It made him suspicious.

"If you can take off the shirt, I could have a look at your wounds."

Elliot frowned.

"I just want to help. Let me have a look at it? C'mon," he gently urged him to pull the t-shirt up and over his head.

"You're not worth the fuss," Joe sneered at him. "¡Vaya, Doc! ¿Por qué haces esto?"

"¿Por qué _tú_ haces _eso_?" Doc asked back. "¿Quieres forzarle a hablar? Para que puedes castigarle?"

Joe snorted.

Elliot's heart was pounding so hard he was afraid the men would hear its beating. They seemed to be having a disagreement but he did not know if that would be good or bad for him. He had learned just enough Spanish over the years to give the Miranda warning and handle a suspect until a translator arrived. Now he wished like hell he knew more.

_Does _forzarle_ mean force?_ he wondered. Hablar _means to talk, so that would make sense, and if _castigarle_ means what it sounds like in English? Castigate? Well, they can't be too rough if they punish me because I have to testify tomorrow. Barry would give them hell for _thatOnly for a second he dwelled on that thought before it led him to another. _But what if they do something to the girls? Or John? God in Heaven, please, please help me! Help me be strong so nobody else gets hurt because of me. Please!_

He blinked fast to hold back the tears that were trying to fall and swallowed hard to stop the sob that was rising in his chest. He would never forgive himself if his own weakness got his children or his friend hurt.

_Please help me, Lord!_

"¿Y quién es patético aquí?"

It sounded like Doc had gotten the last word in their argument, but Elliot did not know what that meant for him. He sat still and tried not to tremble as Doc took out a few items out of his bag and then grabbed his arm and urged him to lie down on his back.

Elliot could have stood the touch, but when he felt pushed backwards he panicked. A scared moan escaped him and he stiffened up for a second, then he tried to wriggle out of Doc's grip.

"Hey! Easy!" Doc said. "We can do it upright, too."

Elliot just stared at him. Now his features gave away his terror. He grimaced when Doc bowed over him to have a look at the burn. Then he turned his head away.

Whatever Doc applied to his wound, it burnt like hell. Elliot groaned through gritted teeth. Water welled in his eyes and he could not suppress it. His breaths were hard and his hands clawed at the covers beneath him.

Doc gently stroked his upper arm, but did not say anything more. He just put some gauze on the wound and fixated it with tape.

"There you go," he said and stashed his stuff back in the doctor's bag. Then he placed the t shirt in his lap. "You should put that on. You don't want to scare the girls, right?"

In a reflex Elliot opened his mouth to answer but changed his mind. He shook his head no.

"You're a stubborn son of a bitch," Joe stated.

"You won't get him to talk," Doc said, in English, a strange mixture of compassion and pride in his voice.

_You're an oxymoron, Doc,_ Elliot thought. _Either you're into torturing me, too, or you're not. You should take a side, bastard._

He lowered his gaze, trying to find his knothole again. But Joe still stood in his line of sight.

_So I have to find a new point to focus on… dammit!_

But his attempts were thwarted by Joe who stepped right in his line of sight again, following it when Elliot turned his head.

"What's up? Am I making you nervous?" His voice was dripping with sarcasm. Closing in on him again, he reached for Elliot's chin. Just putting one knuckle under it he bent the head back to be able to look into those sapphire blue orbs.

"C'mon, answer me!" Joe spat.

Elliot remained silent. He stared at the glasses and slightly shook his head.

"I don't believe you." Joe chuckled. "But wait. I'll get you to talk."

_You want to make that a new kind of sport?_ Elliot wondered. _I won't give you that satisfaction, not even if you talk until you're blue in the face._ He was determined to play by Barry's rules.

Encouragingly Doc nodded at Joe who left… to come back just a minute later with one of the three girls. He ushered Lizzie into the bedroom and over to sit down in front of the dressing table.

xxx

**Adirondack State Park**

"Look, Mom! The trees are getting thinner," Dickie said. "There must be a clearing up ahead."

Kathy did not answer, but she did let her young son pull her forward. It was all she could do to keep putting one foot ahead of the other.

"Maybe there's a cabin," Dickie wished in an enthusiastic whisper. "They might have food and blankets and a phone. Maybe they even have a Playstation."

Even though they had been running all night she had to laugh softly when she heard him talk about the Playstation. _How absurd._

She did not want him to get his hopes up, but she could not think of anything to say to prevent it. Especially as she had dragged him along all the time and he certainly felt no better than her. She was not only exhausted, but battered and sore, scraped and scratched from stumbling over roots and crashing into bushes and low-hanging branches. She was to the point where she just kept going mechanically, one step after another after another, knowing that if she stopped moving, she might not be able to start again.

Then they found the clearing and…

…nothing.

"No!"

Gasping this word out Kathy stopped in the middle of nowhere. She looked around for any sign of civilization, but there was nothing. High above she and Dickie could see countless stars.

"Wow!" he breathed. "Look at all those stars!"

Kathy followed his gaze up at the sky, but she had no eye for the beauty of the night.

"Come!" she urged her son. "We have to keep walking!"

"Mom! I'm tired!"

"I'm tired, too, but we can't stop. Now come on!"

So she grabbed his hand once more and dragged him along. They were climbing up a slowly rising slope. There were rocks they had to round and when they reached the top they sat down on one to rest for a moment.

"Mom?" Dickie tugged on her sleeve. "Look, down there…!"

When Kathy turned her head to look down the hill on the other side, her heart skipped a beat.

Down below shone a light.

"Oh, my God," she whispered. "Let's go."

As fast as they could in the darkness they stumbled down the slope, never losing sight of the light.

_God, please stay on,_ Kathy prayed. _I don't know how late it is, but it must be long after midnight. So please, don't…_

The light vanished.

"No!" She skidded to a halt, Dickie running into her back. "No!" she whispered. For a second she was tempted to give in to her despair. Then she thought of Elliot and their daughters. _They're at home, still held hostage. We need to reach a phone to call Olivia or Cragen! They need to get them out!_ So she straightened up again.

"We'll find it anyway," Kathy declared, holding on to her son's small hand even stronger. "We have to. C'mon."

And she continued their descent. Somewhere on the foot of the hill had to be a cabin… and in it a phone or a car in the driveway.

xxx

**Lavender residence**

"This is killing me!" Olivia moaned exasperated. "There must be something we can do!"

But they were not and that made her more than just edgy. She paced up and down the Lavender living room, listening to the conversation coming out of the speakers. With every word more she was shaking with rage.

"What about your sniper?" she turned to Simmons. "Can he look into the bedroom?"

"There are curtains on the windows," he replied. "He can make out movement, but it's not enough for a clear shot. Besides, he could only take down one, maybe two men. The others are out of sight and could harm the hostages before we make it in there."

"So what _does_ he see?" she queried.

"Three men around a bed." Simmons got up and took her by the shoulders, stopping her. Once she stood motionless in front of him, she began to shake… with rage.

"They…'re playing wi…ith him!" she stuttered, hardly able to keep her voice steady.

"I wish I could tell you that everything will be fine," he said. "You know that we'll do everything possible to make sure of that… but still something can go wrong. You know that, too." He saw her take a deep breath. "As soon as we get the message from Detective Tutuola we'll be in there in a matter of minutes."

He gave her what he hoped was an encouraging look. They all were edgy, were itching to go and help their colleague…

…and the waiting was nerve-wracking.

xxx

**Stabler residence**

Meeting Elliot's gaze in the mirror, Joe let his fingers run through Lizzie's long, silky hair. Under his mask he smiled viciously and regretted that the cop could not see it. Instead he slipped off the glove, then let his hand run through her golden mane again. Then he put it back on, grabbed a brush and started to do the girl's hair.

Elliot glared at him, trying with his eyes to threaten him to take his hands off his daughter.

"Da…addy?" Elizabeth's frightened voice wavered.

Elliot caught her eye in the mirror and swallowed hard. _What would happen if I said something to comfort her? Joe would get what he wanted. He'd make me talk, but then what would he do? Would seeing him punish me be more traumatic for Lizzie than what he is doing now? God help me, what if he decided to punish her for my misbehavior?_

"Little girls," Joe said dreamily. "They seem so sweet and innocent, don't they?"

Elliot pressed his lips into a thin line and winked at Lizzie, trying silently to encourage her, to make her believe that it would be all right, even when he was not so sure of that himself right now.

Joe was whistling lowly as he teased Lizzie's hair, fixed it with hairspray. Then he searched for a lipstick and when he found one, he turned the girl around on the chair and smoothed the tip of the stick over her lips.

Lizzie tensed on the chair. She pressed her lips in a thin line and crossed her arms over her chest. When Joe was done putting lipstick on her she looked at her father. He sat, motionless, staring at her. Lizzie could not read his features… she had never seen him like that.

That was when Joe urged her to stand up. He had gotten out a pair of her mother's high heels for her and squatting down he held one in front of her. Hesitantly she slipped into the shoes and made some tentative steps. Once more she tried to lock her gaze with her father's, but she could not find it.

And Elliot thought that his fast beating heart would just thump right out of his chest.

"Isn't she cute?" Joe murmured, following Lizzie with his gaze. "As I said, they seem so sweet and innocent. But they learn early how to use a woman's wiles… to drive men wild, you know."

Elliot snorted in derision at the comment, but did not move, his shaking preventing him from that. All he could do was to watch his daughter trying to walk on her mother's high heels, swaying from side to side.

"Look how she can already swing her butt," Joe teased. "See? She's already just like her mother… a real _zorrita_." And he laughed.

Elliot did not know exactly what the word meant, but just from the tone of the man's voice, he could tell it disparaged a woman's virtue, or threatened it.

_That bastard! How absurd and funny would it be if it wasn't a terrorist playing dress-up with a scared kid. God! Lizzie! If it weren't for Barry's order not to hurt them, this scum would have already raped her…_ His heart skipped a beat with that thought.

Joe squatted in front of Lizzie and tapped his cheek, offering it to her.

With widening eyes she stared at her dad, then at the masked man. Her lips pressed into a thin line she shook her head.

"Awww," moaned Joe and tapped his cheek again.

Once more Lizzie refused. Desperately she looked toward her father. She could see his eyes welling with tears and his body tense with desperation, but for some reason he would not or could not stand up for her.

"Daddy?"

Elliot felt sick to his stomach. He feared that Joe would send her out again if she did not comply, but how should he tell her that? He did not want her to kiss the bastard if she did not want to, but how could he put the responsibility of that decision on her, how could he expect her, a nine year old, to make such a decision?!

All he could do was shrug weakly… and watch how Joe took her by the shoulder to lead her out of the room.

"No, wait!" Elizabeth shouted, craning her neck to hold her father's gaze. "I'll do it. I'll kiss you."

Making a face as if she was about to take some medicine, she gave Joe a quick peck on the cheek, and then wriggled free to scramble into the bed beside her dad.

Joe chuckled. Then he left to return with Kathleen. He tried repeating the game with her, but she ruined his fun by sitting there, stiff as a cucumber, and ignoring him. She even planted a quick kiss on his cheek.

Joe grumbled, but let her join Elliot and Lizzie.

Elliot hugged both girls. Kathleen also wore eye-make-up, but it was overdone. It made her look like a whore. Elliot swallowed.

_He made Lizzie walk in high heels, painted Kat like a prostitute… and just to hurt me…_ He tightened his hold on them, desperately trying to comfort them with his presence.

Still angry Joe went to get Maureen. With Elliot's eldest at his side he came back in.

"Okay… sit here," he ordered her, pushing her onto the chair in front of the dressing table. When he started to comb her hair, she flinched.

"What are you doing?!" she asked.

"Keep quiet!"

It was like a stab in his heart when Elliot heard and watched what Joe did with his daughter. Maureen clenched her fists and jaws and did not move.

"Pretty young woman… you must have your period already, right? And your mom certainly bought you a bra… which you're not wearing today." He chuckled, letting his hand run over her back. "No, none there… Guess that drives the boys crazy, huh?"

Maureen did not answer, just tilted her chin defiantly.

"Whatcha doing with the boys?"

Maureen just shrugged.

"Oh, c'mon! You can't tell me that you never met a boy!" He laughed. "Whatcha doin'? Kissing?" He watched her reaction but got none. "Petting? Or aren't you a virgin anymore?"

Maureen's head shot up and she glared at him.

"Do you shave your legs?" Joe wanted to know. He already had a lady's razor in his hand he had found in the bathroom. "C'mon! We're going to shave your legs."

"That's not necessary," she spat and presented him one shin. It was perfectly smooth.

There was no noticeable reaction from Joe. "Do you like to touch yourself?" he suddenly asked.

"What do you mean, _touch myself_?"

"When you're alone, in the dark, thinking about some boy you like?"

"Oh! No!"

Joe laughed. "You can't lie to me. I can tell by how you are turning red that the answer is yes. Elliot, you should tie this one's hands to the bed at night." Looking back at Maureen he said, "They say doing that will make you go blind, but you don't have to be ashamed. Everybody does it."

"I'm not ashamed," she said. "I'm embarrassed."

Elliot saw the sparks flashing in his eldest daughter's eyes. She was his first born, and though he would never admit it, his favorite, and sometimes, she was too much like him for her own good.

"Embarrassed? Why should you be embarrassed? It's perfectly natural."

_Don't say it, Maureen. Whatever you're thinking, don't say it!_

"I'm embarrassed because decent people know only scum would talk to a man's daughter like that in front of him."

_No! Oh, no, no, no, no, no!_

As if in slow motion, Elliot saw Joe's hand pull back. In a flash of pride, he saw that Maureen bravely stood her ground. She didn't even flinch. She only shut her eyes.

But he couldn't let her be hurt like that. Just when he opened his mouth to yell at Joe, the man let the hand sink into her rich hair. He ran his fingers through her locks and then twirled one curl around his finger. Then his hand slid down to brush over Maureen's shoulders, down to her breasts.

Maureen gasped, then she spit directly on his sunglasses.

Elliot sucked in a sharp breath. Reaching up to wipe his sunglasses, Joe had to take his hands off Maureen. When Joe reached for her breasts again, Elliot shouted, "Stop it! If you touch her again I'll kill you!"

Joe froze, then his hand dropped to his side. Smirking, he said, "I told you I'd make you talk."

xxx

**Adirondack State Park**

Fin rubbed his hand over his face. His tiredness made the woods blur before his eyes. The undefined mass of leaves made it difficult to see any road, path, clearing or cabin between the green.

"This is like searching for the needle in the haystack," Sheriff Kilworth said.

"Oh, really?" Fin chuckled wearily. "I didn't notice that."

"When we have rounded Newcomb Lake we can fly a short round over Beaver Flow, then we'll have to gas up," the pilot declared.

"Okay!" Kilworth leaned forward again to look down, following the search light. For a while there was nothing but treetops. "Stop!"

Kilworth's shout startled them all.

"Fly a loop! I think I saw something!"

So the pilot turned the chopper into a curve to fly once more over the spot they just passed. There was a cabin and in front of it …

…a white van.

"Oh, my God," breathed Fin. "We have to touch down somewhere!"

"There's no possibility anywhere close," the pilot replied. "We'll have to lead the cars to the cabin."

The ray of the searchlight was dancing over the roof of the small house. There was a low light behind one window. Maybe the people inside were asleep. On the other hand it was unlikely that they did not hear the helicopter hovering over the cabin.

"How long will you need?" Kilworth asked on the radio. "A few minutes… okay."

For Fin time did not seem to pass as the chopper continued to stand in the air over the cabin, dipping the clearing in bright light. No one came out, no movement anywhere… it seemed to be deserted.

"Damn, Bobby, where are you?" Fin murmured. "C'mon! We need confirmation."

tbc…


	37. Chapter 37

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: As always, thanks for the reviews. :D They are truly appreciated! Thanks. :)

**37**

**Adirondack State Park**

When his car skidded to a halt Bobby jumped out of the passenger door. One glance at the plates confirmed that it was the same van they were looking for. Together with one of Kilworth's deputies Bobby rushed over to the front door of the cabin. A third man, one of the volunteers for the search, approached the vehicle.

Bobby gave the deputy a sign and stalked over to the window. No one was inside of that room. So they met at the front door again and Bobby tried the handle.

It was open.

Convinced by a strong kick the door flew open and crashed against the wall, making room for the entering cops. Securing with their guns they rushed in. The cabin was deserted.

"Dammit!"

Bobby let the deputy cuss. He was already focused on what the men had left behind. There was a magazine on the table, open, creased. One of the pages was slightly ripped. Bobby put his gun back in its holster and got his flashlight out. Bowing forward he shone the light over the pages and found a speck.

"Hmm… guess he dozed off…" he mused. Then he turned to the cot in the corner. The blankets on it were crumpled. He went over there. "Someone was on this camp bed."

Leaning forward he sniffed the bedding. "Female."

"You can smell that?"

"I can smell a perfume on the blanket. Don't think that the bad guys wear perfume."

"Hmmm… no, don't think so," the deputy agreed. "Over there, in the other room, is another cot with crumpled blankets."

"So one was sleeping over there while the other was supposed to guard them. Where are they now?" Bobby just glanced at the cot. "I can only imagine two reasons for them to leave the cabin in the middle of the night."

"And those reasons are?"

"They got order to get rid of the hostages… or the hostages ran away."

"Let's hope that it was the latter," the deputy grumbled. He watched the big detective scan the room again.

"They left the car key behind," Bobby thought aloud. "So they did not intend to go far… we still need to confirm…" his voice trailed off.

Grabbing the car keys he left the cabin with long strides and went to the van where another cop was peering through the windshield. Bobby put the key in the lock and pushed the sliding door open. In the dancing ray of light he found another blanket and the boxes the burgers had come in. _DNA,_ shot through Bobby's mind. _But I'm already ahead again…_he chuckled inwardly._ W__here have they gone?_

He hoped that Kathy and Dickie had been able to escape. That would be much better than to assume that the men had taken them somewhere in the woods to kill them. On the other hand it meant that they were on the run, their kidnappers probably close on their heels.

"Fin!" Bobby called him on the radio. "We'll need the chopper. They must be somewhere in the forest!"

"What?!" Fin replied. "In the forest? Why?"

"My bet is that they ran away. We have no idea in which direction, but I suspect that she took off into the woods, so that the bad guys wouldn't track them down on the road."

"Shit!"

That described quite well their situation. They were back to the needle in the haystack.

xxx

**Stabler residence**

Elliot was frozen in place with fear.

_Is that all he wanted? To make me talk? Could I have spared them from his game by talking?_ His stomach knotted painfully. _What will he do now? Will he punish me? What will he do? Or will he turn against the girls?_

From both sides his daughters clung to his body. Maureen stared at him, then she got up from the chair in front of the mirror. Joe stopped her, holding her back with a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey! I didn't say that you could leave!"

"Oh, you didn't?" Maureen replied, straightening up to face him.

Joe did not hesitate.

When he raised his hand to slap Maureen hard across the face, his swing was intercepted by an arm, a masculine arm.

Stunned Joe stared at Elliot who had appeared between him and the girl. His blue eyes were sparkling challengingly, his teeth were bared. Every muscle in his body was tense with anticipation. His fists were clenching, the vein in his temple was throbbing, and his breaths came hard. He cursed himself for not intervening earlier. Now he had to respond, no matter what the consequences might be.

For a few seconds more Joe held his gaze, then he stepped back, raising his hands defensively… and he was laughing.

"Don't trip over your chain!" he roared with laughter. Only slowly he calmed down again.

Elliot stood, shivering with rage, and could not begin to process what was going on. He had expected Joe to hit him, he had _wanted_ Joe to hit him so that he could hit back again and again and again… until there was nothing left of the man but a pile of well-tenderized meat.

But now Joe was laughing. And this laughter pierced Elliot's heart. It hurt him more than any blow of the fist could have hurt.

"C'mon, baby! Go to your sisters," Joe told Maureen.

Cautiously Maureen watched the man. Her father still stood between them and when she looked down she now could see the chain attached to his ankle. Her heart was aching for him.

_And what did he mean about making dad talk?_ she wondered.

Only slowly she realized that she was expected to follow Joe's order. Reluctantly she retreated from the relative security behind her father's back and joined Lizzie and Kat on the big bed.

Joe still was chuckling. Obviously he enjoyed his game, having a ripping good time. As his eyes were hidden behind the glasses he could not join Elliot in the staredown. What a bummer.

"You can go to them," Joe said. "C'mon! Go!"

But Elliot did not trust this peace. His thoughts were chasing each other. _That's what all of this was about? Why isn't he punishing me? Will he hurt the girls? Don't! Oh, please! Don't!_ He swallowed. _I could have saved all of them from his torture and humiliation just by fucking saying something?_ He could not stop thinking about it.

_Where's the catch?_ he wondered. _I can't let my guard down. He's up to something… just… what is it?_

Joe chuckled.

"Hmmm… well, I guess you're right," he said cheerfully, interpreting Elliot's expression. "Someone has to pay for it. What a shame that I can't punish you. You gotta be in good enough shape to testify in the morning." Under his mask Joe grinned viciously. "Shush! Back to bed with you! And don't talk!"

Tentatively Elliot made a few small steps toward the bed, not leaving Joe out of sight. But then Joe turned and Elliot realized who he had thought of when he spoke about punishments. He gasped.

"Stop!" Maureen yelled out to Joe. "He didn't do anything!"

_Keep quiet!_ Elliot shot her an angry glance when he started for the door, not thinking for a second of the chain which held him. Before he could reach the entrance his bond tightened and brought him down, almost making him crash into the doorframe.

"Ugh!"

The pain was bearable. What hurt Elliot beyond belief was the humiliation which swept over him like ocean's surf… especially as he now heard John's grunts of pain when Joe beat him.

_NO!_ he sobbed inwardly. _Don't do that to him! Don't!_

But there was nothing he could do. He lay on the carpet and stared up at Doc and another guard. Due to the masks he could not tell if they were amused or angry, but he suspected that they had a good time torturing him.

_Please,_ he mouthed tonelessly. _Please stop._

His silent pleas were ignored. Instead they picked him up and dragged him back to the bed. Doc patted his uninjured shoulder, then they left the bedroom, sure that none of them would try to escape.

_Liv!_ he thought. _Where are you? Are you still searching for Kathy and Dickie? Please hurry!_ Feeling odd thinking that, Elliot sagged down on the edge of the bed. _I can't do that… I can't be strong anymore… I… just… can't! Liv!_

It was a silent outcry that echoed inside of his body, shaking him to the core and he broke down crying, hiding his face in his hands.

"Dad?" Lizzie whispered, tentatively reaching out for him. "Daddy?"

Kathleen rubbed his back in circles and Maureen… she sat right next to him, wrapping her arm around his shoulders and pulling him into her embrace. Surprised she felt tears wet her neck as he buried his face in the crook. Soothingly she let her hand run over his short hair. Without even noticing, she was softly crooning.

xxx

**Adirondack State Park**

Fearfully Kathy squeezed Dickie's hand. She tried to gather what was left of her energy. Somewhere down below was the cabin and they had to find it.

_This must be the direction,_ she thought. _But it's hard to tell. All these rocks we have to evade… we could drift off to the side._

"Mom? How far away is it?"

"It must be in the valley," she replied. "I can't see the bottom."

Neither one of them could make out where they were going. It was still so dark that they could not see the branches that kept slapping them in their faces.

"Ugh!"

Hearing him grunt, Kathy grabbed tighter, but Dickie's hand slipped out of hers when he made a false step and tumbled down the slope.

"Dickie!" Kathy yelped.

A trunk stopped his fall. He groaned with pain, because he had hit the tree with his hip. It hurt like hell, at least right now.

"Dickie!? Are you okay?"

Kathy could only follow the whimpers he made. When she found him, she pulled him into her arms and held him tight.

"Ouch! Mom!"

"Shhh…" she tried to soothe him. "It's okay. Mommy's got you. Shhh. Where does it hurt?"

"Here," he moaned, rubbing his side. "Ooouuuch."

Trying to find the injured part, she let her hand brush over his side and reached his hip. When she pressed just a little he groaned again.

_Damn! Hope he can walk! I don't know if I could carry him!_

"Awwww. Shhh. Calm down, honey. Come, lay back in my arms. It's okay."

Smoothing her hand over his short hair she hugged him from behind and he slowly relaxed against her body. It felt good to have him so close. His warmth spread through her and eased her own pain and insecurity.

_Lord, help us,_ she prayed. _Please lead us to the cabin. We need some rest and a phone to call the police._ Kathy swallowed. _Don't think of Elliot,_ she reprimanded herself. _Don't think of him and the men with the guns. Don't think of the girls…_ A sob escaped her and she felt Dickie shudder. _Oh, that hurts so much. I can't panic now! We have to get out of here._

Kathy sat and let her hand run through his hair over and over again while she was cooing a simple melody.

_Just a moment longer…_

Knowing that they could not afford to sit and dwell in their despair and pain, she still was tense. In her lap she felt Dickie relax and she knew that he was about to fall asleep.

"Dickie! Honey! Don't doze off," she chuckled. "C'mon."

"But, mom," he whined. "I'm so tired."

"I know. When we find the cabin we can sleep. C'mon. It can't be that far away."

"Okay…"

So he let himself be pushed up again and stood, trembling, as his mother scrambled to her feet. He reached out for her and hugged her. Soothingly she rubbed his back.

"We gotta go," she said and took his hand.

Cautiously they continued to climb down the slope, hoping that they could find the cabin.

xxx

**Lavender residence**

Olivia's face was tear stained. She did not even notice that the salty drops were streaming down her face. What they had to ear-witness was heartbreaking. It had to be hard for the SWAT members who did not even know Elliot, but for her and Cragen it was pure torture to listen in to what was spoken over there in the bedroom.

How Huang could remain so calm and silent she could not understand. He was sitting in front of the surveillance equipment, still listening intently, not a single muscle twitching in his face.

This sight knotted up her insides even more.

Cragen's cell phone rang and he answered it. His expression turned from worried to relieved and over skeptical to worried again.

"That was Fin," he explained when he finished the call. "They found the van and the cabin where the men held Kathy and Dickie…"

"That's good news!" Olivia panted.

"It would be if the cabin wasn't deserted. No one was there when Bobby and the deputies arrived. Now they are searching the surrounding forest for them.

"Oh no!" Olivia sank down on a chair. "Why can't we have the least bit of luck. We need to end this! El's on his last legs! We have to help him!"

"We would risk the lives of his wife and son if we go in now," Huang replied, sounding almost as defeated as she felt, the first sign of emotion he showed.

"Well, as soon as the local search and rescue team gets there with their dogs, they're going to search on the ground. Fin is still on the chopper, searching from the air." Cragen sighed. "I hope they find them, soon. In the mountains it must get cold at night."

"If they're not there, then they must have escaped and Mendoza's cronies are looking for them!" Olivia insisted, sounding quite enthusiastic. She felt her spirits return. "As long as we find them or catch Mendoza's men before they find Kathy and Dickie, they're safe. We can move in NOW!"

"But we can't assume they haven't already been caught again," Huang said evenly. "Or maybe they have them in one cabin and just parked at another because Mendoza has figured out that we are watching him and his men."

"Until we have them safely in hand, we can't assume anything," Cragen added.

"But we have to take that chance!" Olivia insisted.

"With your partner's life?" Cragen asked, stunned. "You want to gamble with his life as well as with Kathy and the kids' lives?"

"Right now everything seems to be calm over there," Huang said. "And I think we can assume that it will remain calm until it's time to get up again." Eyeing her closely he noticed of course how agitated she really was. She needed some rest.

"Why don't you lie down for a while?" he asked.

"You don't think I could sleep now, do you?" Olivia exploded. "No! I could _not_… and I don't want to, either!"

"You should at least rest for a while," Huang told her, "so that you're fresh and ready as soon as we get the message that they have Kathy and Dickie."

But Olivia did not want to hear about that. She got up and started to pace again, willing the phone to ring with the good news.

"Olivia," Cragen addressed her. "Olivia, please. You're making me seasick."

So she dropped down on the sofa. Leaning in the corner she let her thoughts ramble. In her mind's eye she saw mother and son running through the woods. _If the search parties could just find them soon..._

Dwelling on these depressing thoughts, her body gave in to exhaustion and, hanging in the corner of the couch's armrest, she fell into a restless sleep.

xxx

**Stabler residence**

There were no sounds that indicated what was going on in the other room. John remained silent and Joe did not show up again. Doc passed the door to the bedroom and peeked in, but except for that, Elliot and the three girls were alone.

As a matter of fact Elliot needed that.

Still he sat on the edge of the bed, Kat crushed in the embrace of his left arm, Lizzie leaning against his back, and Maureen on his right side, her arm wrapped around him and stroking his hair. Softly crooning she tried to soothe not only her sisters but especially her father.

That Joe had beaten John to punish him left him still agitated. His daughters cuddling up to him calmed him down a bit, but their close contact also fueled his fears.

Maureen did not know what was going on inside her siblings' heads, but she racked her mind trying to figure out what exactly had happened to bring her dad to this point. Seeing him like this scared the crap out of her and she was sure that it was scaring Lizzie and Kat, too.

His right arm was snaked around her waist and he clung to her as if she was a safety buoy.

_Maybe I am,_ she thought. _It's possible that we're keeping him on track, that he knows that he could keep us safe so far._

One of the men appeared under the door. He just stood there, apparently staring, though that was hard to tell because of his sunglasses.

Yet he made Elliot nervous again. He stirred and tried to push the girls further back on the bed and gestured them to crawl under the covers.

"Dad?" Kathleen asked uncertainly. "Are you coming to bed, too?"

Elliot swallowed. He was dead tired, still he was too stirred up to settle down and try to sleep. The prospect of sharing the bed with his daughters, having them safe at his side was a good one. He ushered them to climb deep under the covers on the window-side of the bed, and he finally lay down on the other.

When he held up the cover a bit to slip under it, Kat and Lizzie snuggled up to him. With his left arm he hugged them tight. His right shoulder hurt as he lay down on his right side. But he did not care. He had his girls in his arms.

"Night, Dad," Lizzie said.

But Elliot could only smile and nod at her and hug her even stronger.

"Dad?" She actually sounded confused.

The way she looked at him hit him hard and tears shot into his eyes almost instantly. How he longed to be able to talk with her and Kat and Maureen. Painfully this yearning constricted his insides. Silently the tears ran down his cheek.

"Daddy? Are you crying?" Kathleen asked, sounding worried.

Swallowing hard Elliot wiped the tears away and forced himself to smile. There was nothing he could do but hug her again.

"He's glad that we're all together, Kat, that's why he's crying," Maureen explained in a soft whisper.

"Is that right, Dad?" Lizzie wanted to know.

Once more he had to gulp down his anxieties, but he nodded. When he looked at Maureen he tried to project all the love and pride he felt with his look and his crooked smile.

She slightly nodded and smiled sadly back at him. Then she resumed stroking his hair. Her crooning slowly relaxed all of them.

Softly crying Elliot finally fell into a restless sleep.

xxx

**Adirondack State Park**

Stumbling over the rough ground Kathy and Dickie made it up to the edge of the wood where another clearing opened.

"Look, Mom! The trees are getting thinner," Dickie cheered. "There must be a clearing up ahead. Let's go, mom!"

Kathy reluctantly lifted her head. She was so exhausted that she thought she would fall asleep the second she dared to sit down.

"I think I see the cabin," Dickie whispered when there was just one row of trees left between them and the woods. "Mom! Mom, look!"

He was about to run over to the small house but lightning fast Kathy dropped to her knees and clamped Dickie's mouth shut with her palm.

"Wait a second," she hushed. "Let's make sure that we did not run in a circle."

Rubbing his upper arms, she tried to encourage him. She led him along the edge of the clearing to the front of the cabin. There was a silvery shimmering SUV in the driveway.

"Okay, stay behind me," she ordered and stepped out into the clearing.

That was when a dog started barking. Dickie clawed at her hand.

"That must be a big one," he said.

"That must be at least two of them," she replied when another one joined the barking.

They could not hear if someone was inside. Whoever might be in there should have been awake by now, because the dogs became more and more excited. They were running around, barking their heads off, and pawing at the door.

"I don't want to go there," Dickie whined.

Kathy could understand his reluctance. Still, there had to be someone somewhere. The dogs did not lock themselves up in the cabin.

"Who's there!" someone yelled, the voice coming from the house. "Get off of my property!"

In pale moonlight the steel of a rifle was shining when the man stepped out of a door on the side of the cabin. Kathy swallowed.

"Sir?!" she addressed him cautiously, "Sir, can you…?"

…help us, she had wanted to say, but she chose to duck when the rifle was trained on her.

"What…?" Dickie yelped when she pulled him back into the undergrowth.

"Back off!" the man shouted and shook his weapon. "Get lost if you know what's good for you!"

Kathy ran as fast as she could, dragging her son along. _No, no, no…_ she thought. _This is a nightmare! Why didn't he help us?_ They heard the dogs bark but the sounds faded as they ran. _Thank God, he did not let them loose._ Still they were on the run… and she had no idea where to go. Tears ran over her face and she heard Dickie pant behind her.

Kathy would have been even more scared if she would have known what was going on higher on the slope they just were coming from.

"What's up down there?" one man said to the other in Spanish. "Who's out here in the middle of the night except for our two _friends_?"

"No lo sé," the other answered that he did not know. "Let's check it out."

So they started to run again.

"They can't be that far ahead," the first one panted. He was shining with his flashlight, so he saw the root in time and avoided it. But his friend was not as lucky.

"Mierda!" the guy cussed and fell.

He rolled down the slope and hit a rock. It gave an ugly smashing sound and the other man skidded to a halt. Running the short way up again, he let the ray of light roam until it flashed over the body of his comrade. One look at his head told him without doubt that he could not help him. His lifeless brown eyes stared directly into the flashlight.

tbc…


	38. Chapter 38

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. :D Special thanks to _EnforcerAndAccuserFan._ Also special thanks to _FutureMrsStabler_. I'm so glad that you're back! This chapter's for you! My beta also earns thanks for her patience and her wonderful suggestions. :D Okay! We're closing in on the end, so fasten your seatbelts! (just kidding ;)) Enjoy!

**38**

**Adirondack State Park**

Bobby was running through the woods, following the man from the search and rescue team and his dog. As well as the others, two men who came with the Labrador and the deputy, he had a flashlight. So he could at least see a bit of where he was going. It gave him the creeps thinking of Kathy and Dickie who were on the run without anything. Most likely they did not even have a lamp.

"She found something!" the dog handler shouted as the Labrador was barking.

As Bobby approached he spotted a human body in the ray of the man's flashlight and he shone his in the same direction. The Colombian lay at an unnatural angle and his head rested against the rock that had smashed it like an eggshell. There was no doubt that he was dead.

"Let's keep searching!" Bobby commanded. They could retrieve the man's body later. Now they had to find the ones alive and still on the run.

The dog handler reported the location of the dead guy and only seconds later the dog was on the trail again and the men on her tail. Approaching a clearing the Labrador became agitated.

"What's up, Polly?" her human partner asked, patting her side. "Did you hear something?"

Down on the clearing was a cabin, a big car in the driveway. Behind the windows was a light, and somewhere a dog was barking.

"Where's the dog?" Bobby asked.

"Can't see it," the dog handler replied. "But it doesn't sound as if it would be in the house." Out of the corner of his eye he saw movement and shouted a warning. His Labrador jumped forward, into a fight with the attacking dog.

"Polly!" he screamed.

In the ray of several flashlights they could see a jumble of legs, teeth and tails, growling and barking. The police officers held their weapons in firing position and suddenly a shot shattered the silence and one of the dogs yelped. Then everything was silent.

"Polly?" Now the man sounded scared. He rushed over to where the dogs had been fighting. A light brown flash crashed into him, wagging its tail and licking his face. "Oh, Polly!" he sighed relieved. "Come here, girl."

As soon as they had calmed down a bit they proceeded towards the cabin. Before they could reach the clearing Polly found another dog. It had been shot, too, and obviously bled to death. Out on the clearing they could make out two dark forms and when they approached they could see that two men were lying not too far from each other. One was a Columbian, the other Caucasian.

"Oh, my God!" the deputy huffed. "That's Colin Masterson!"

Bobby stared at the dead man. "Wasn't he wanted for bank robbery?"

"Yeah."

They could not believe it. Here of all places the guy pursuing Kathy and her son bumped into a criminal the police had been after for weeks.

"I don't get it!" the deputy muttered under his breath. "How did he do that? He couldn't show his face anywhere. Did he just sit in this cabin? Waiting?"

Well, they would not find out now. Kathy and Dickie were nowhere in or around the cabin, but Polly found their trail on the edge of the clearing, leading into the forest again.

"They're still running away," Bobby mused.

"Yeah." The deputy spread a map on the hood of the silvery car, shining with his flashlight. "The way the trail's going they will head further up north or around the lake," he mused. "I don't think that we have another choice but to follow them."

Bobby nodded.

"Then let's go."

One after the other they followed the trail into the woods, shouting loud for Kathy and Dickie, now that their captors were out of the picture.

xxx

**Lavender residence**

Olivia got up because she had to go to the bathroom. She did not dare to switch the light on not to give their presence away. So she searched her way in the darkness. Once she returned to the living room, she sat down on the sofa, but she could not make herself lie down on it again. Her gaze was drawn to the window and out over the garden fence to the next house where everything was dark, too.

_Oh, Elliot,_ she thought. _I hope you and your girls are okay, and John, too. This is tearing me apart! And I'm here, safe and sound! I have no idea how you must be feeling right now. It must be horrible!_

A sigh escaped her. The rustle of clothes made her look to the side. Lieutenant Simmons was sitting in front of the surveillance equipment. She could see him quite well in the moon's twilight. He was looking straight back at her.

"Restless?" he asked.

"Yeah," she replied without hesitation. "I'm antsy. I wish we could do something to help him."

"He's close to you, isn't he?"

For a second Olivia did not know what to answer. Yet, he did not sound as if he would suspect them to be closer than allowed. He asked out of concern and because he wanted to find out how well good they knew each other.

"Elliot's my partner and my best friend."

"How long have you been partners now?"

"Almost three years," she said.

That made her think again. How well did she know him? During the last hours she had learned more about him than during their time as partners.

_This emotional striptease is torturing him,_ she thought. _It's going to haunt him for a long time. I don't need Huang to tell me that._

She rubbed at her eyes and her forehead. She was still tired, but she had no idea how she could relax enough to fall asleep again.

Looking at the digital clock on the surveillance system made Olivia sigh.

_Morning's not too far away. Soon the sun will rise and we still have no positive news about Kathy and Dickie. Why can't they find them? They have to find them. Damn! Fin! Bobby! You need to find them now or El will have to perjure himself a second time!_

_God! I don't know if he'll be able to do that! After what they've done to him he must be scared to death and exhausted._

Tears rose in her eyes. The images that formed in her mind's eye were disturbing. Over and over again it produced more or less accurate repetitions of what those scumbags had done to her partner and added scenes that only existed in her imagination.

Olivia wiped at her eyes with the sleeve of her shirt, which was not very effective. And nothing could soothe her fears, nothing but the knowledge that Elliot and his family were safe, but so far they were still far from that.

xxx

**Stabler residence**

Elliot was startled awake by a nightmare. It left him sweating, shivering and breathless. For a few moments he did not recall where he was or why he felt like crap, but then the memories crashed down on him and he choked.

Then he realized what his left arm was snaked around and he bit his tongue not to cry out loud for fear of waking up his kids, too. Instantly tears shot into his eyes and he choked again. In a matter of seconds his nose was blocked and his eyes burnt with tears, but he could not let go. Desperately he clung to Lizzie and Kat.

_Where's Maureen?_

He felt around with his right hand and found her soft hair draped on the pillow. Taking a deep breath Elliot let his fingers run over the long strands.

_She's here!_

Why that was so important right then he did not know. Actually it could only be important for him because technically there would be no difference if they would spend the night in their own rooms instead of together in the big bed of the master bedroom.

They still would be held hostage.

It just was slightly soothing to have his loved ones so close at his side. At least part of them. As his thoughts drifted off to Kathy and his son his insides constricted again. Where were they? Were they okay? Or did these men hurt them?

A sob escaped him. Even the low sound startled him and he checked on his kids, afraid he might have woken them up, exposing them again to the horrible situation they were in.

Soon that would happen anyway.

This thought almost made him throw up. _As soon as I have to leave for court my girls will be alone with these monsters,_ he realized. _No! Oh my God! I don't want to go! Don't make me go, please!_

Instantly he was choked up again, so much that he could hardly breathe.

_Knowing Olivia and SWAT are over there at Mrs. Lavender's doesn't make it better. It kind of makes it worse. They're so close, but can't intervene as long as they don't know about Kathy and Dickie!_ He sniffled. _What if they have to intervene even if they still haven't found my wife and son? Will they do that? It's possible. What will happen to Kathy and Dickie then?_

With this thought his insides constricted painfully and he curled up a bit behind the sleeping form of Lizzie. This movement called his attention to a growing need. Still, he did not want to give in to it. When he moved he felt the chain again that was attached to his ankle and that made him painfully aware of the fact that he could not even leave and go to the bathroom.

Desperately Elliot tried to get a hold on his second half, the cop, not the father. The one that was supposed to go to court and testify… in favor of Mendoza. The one that would have the strength he needed to simply get up on his feet.

But right now this other half was gone. It had left him all alone to deal with the men who held them at gunpoint. Elliot was not the street tough special victims detective now, he was just a man who hurt, who was scared to death for the lives of his family and his friend.

_John!_ Elliot almost would have forgotten that John was here, too. _Joe beat you… to punish me for talking. God, John, I'm so sorry… so sorry._

Attentively he listened for any sound of their captors. Not daring to move because he dreaded to be separated from the girls, he could only look into the direction of the windows. In the first rays of the new day's sun which still blurred colors, he could see the blond tufts of his three daughters.

Slowly but certainly his need became painful. He did not want to leave the deceiving safety of the bed. The physical contact with his girls kept him focused and he dreaded to lose it when he was forced to leave.

Maureen stirred. _If she woke up? Hope I didn't wake her. Come, sweetie, sleep a bit longer. I'm content watching you sleep in peace._ He sighed without giving any sound. _I could stay with you forever… if it wouldn't be for that scum out there._

"Daddy?" Maureen mumbled, groping for him.

"Shhh," he soothed, not daring to make another sound, and brushed over her hair.

"Dad. Were you awake the whole time?" she whispered.

He shook his head.

Continuing to stroke her hair, he watched her close her eyes again. Slowly her breath evened out and she went back to sleep. _I wish I could sleep, too,_ he thought. _But there won't be much time left until I'll have to get up anyway._

Kathleen moved, too, but she did not wake up. In the meantime Elliot's need became more urgent. It really was bothering him and finally forced him to cave in. With some difficulty he shifted his position, careful not to disturb the girls' sleep, to turn around and sit up on the edge of the bed. The chain was clanking, the sound sending shivers down his back.

Once sitting the pressure became worse. He had to go! Yet, there was no guard in their room. _Where are they? Ugh! I can't even call for Joe. He'd enjoy punishing me._ So he had no other choice but to wait.

Elliot cleared his throat, but no one reacted. One look over his shoulder assured him that the girls still were asleep. It seemed to take forever until someone showed up under the door. As much as Elliot could tell it was Joe.

Grimacing he gestured from himself to the bathroom, but the black figure in the doorframe just remained unmoving, the sunglasses directed on him. Elliot could almost feel him sneer. Returning the stare he gestured again, but did not get any response.

Elliot was uncertain what to do. He still was not allowed to talk so he had to express his need with miming. But Joe played dumb, knowing quite well that he could torture him even more. Having to ask was pretty embarrassing and humiliating, but it was worse not to be able to actually express his need.

Finally Elliot could not stand sitting anymore and got to his feet. He gestured again, but Joe just tilted his head, indicating that he did not get the problem. Shifting anxiously from foot to foot, Elliot stood and thought about breaking the rule and bluntly asking. But what might the consequences be?

What Elliot could not know was that Maureen was watching both of them furtively, pretending to be still asleep. At first she did not realize what the problem was, but when she did fury boiled up inside of her. _With his silence he's trying to protect us! And being chained to the bed he can't just simply go and relieve himself!_ To see her father in this predicament was tearing her heart apart. Then she could not choke it down any longer.

"Hey, ass hole!" she spat. "He has to go to the bathroom! And you know it!"

Elliot felt how blood shot into his face, turning him crimson. He was way too embarrassed to even give her a warning look.

Joe chuckled. "You need the help of your girl?" he sneered. "Big bad cop can't even stand up for himself."

"Shut up and let him go!" Maureen could not hold it. Her fury longed for an outlet and right in that second she did not think about possible consequences.

But Elliot did. Scalding hot the realization of his _little girl_ defending him pierced his heart. _I am the one who should protect her! What are you doing there, honey?_

When Joe made another step towards the bed, Elliot stepped into his way. That made the masked man laugh.

"How sweet! Too scared to represent his own interests but tries to protect you! What's up, Elliot?" he asked, knowing quite well that he would not answer. Sapphire blue eyes tried to stab him to death. He laughed, reaching up to grasp Elliot's chin. "What is it? Do you need something?"

"Let go of my dad, you idiot!" Maureen hissed. "I bet your boss wouldn't like it if he knew that you're playing games with him."

Elliot caught his breath. He had to agree in principle, but he also knew that it was a dangerous game Maureen was playing. Once more he heard Joe chuckle.

"She's brave, your daughter," he said. Then he bowed forward to whisper in his ear, "You can take a leaf out of her book, _pig_."

_Don't react!_ Elliot ordered himself. _Don't even blink._ _Don't give him this satisfaction._

"Don't move," Joe told him and squatted down beside him to reach for the padlock. Clanking the chain slid from his ankle. "You can go."

But Elliot did not move.

xxx

**Adirondack State Park**

Kathy and Dickie were still running through the forest. The sun was rising and when Kathy saw the lake shimmering through the trees she decided to go along its shore. They found a narrow path they were now following. That made walking easier even if the terrain remained difficult. The worst obstacles were roots. They reached for their feet to make them fall.

As they had been up all day and were now wandering the woods for almost the whole night, they were exhausted. Especially Dickie felt the effects of the physical and mental strain.

"Can't we stop for a minute?" he whined. "Mom! I'm so tired! Please!"

Kathy's heart ached for her son.

"I'm sorry, sweety, but we can't know how close they are behind us. We need to find another cabin or a street."

"Mooom!" Dickie tried to plant his feet. "Just two minutes, mom! Pleeeaase!"

"Okay," she caved in.

They found a log and sat down on it.

"We could walk forever," Dickie mumbled as he snuggled up to Kathy's side. "We could end up in Canada."

Inwardly Kathy had to chuckle. That would be a _bit_ too far away.

"I just think that we chose the wrong direction to go around the lake," she said. "If we keep walking, we will reach the road that leads up to the cabin."

"It feels… as if we've been… walking for days." Stumbling over the words with tiredness he yawned. He was almost asleep.

"We have to keep going," Kathy said, smoothing her hand over his short hair.

"I don't want to," Dickie moaned. "Let's stay a bit longer."

"Sorry, son."

Kathy coaxed him to stand up again. Then she firmly took his hand and led him down the narrow path.

xxx

**Stabler residence**

"What's the hold up?" Joe asked.

Elliot did not look over his shoulder, but the way he grimaced and squinted to the side already told his captor that he did not go because of the girls. Joe played the game, stepping closer to the bed, trying to force a reaction.

And Elliot did react. He blocked Joe's way with his body.

"Don't be silly," Joe scolded and took him by the arm to shove him towards the door. "Now go. You have to get ready and dressed anyway. Go!"

Only reluctantly Elliot followed the order. One look over his shoulder now showed him that Joe was right behind him as he left. _Good._

In the bathroom his way led first to the toilet. It actually was a relief now. A sigh escaped him. Then he stepped into the shower, but when he opened the faucet he suddenly felt dizzy, nausea rose as well as bile in his throat. _That's how it started! I was in the shower when they came!_

The sudden realization overwhelmed him. Before he even could get started, the showerhead still in its holder, he slid down the wall to sit in the bathtub. Tears rose and he could not suppress his sobbing, water splashing down on him, his legs awkwardly folded in the narrow space.

_I failed! I failed to protect you, Kathy, and our kids. How could I let them come here and do that to you? How could I? After all I've done to shield you from the world I have to face every day on the job _this_ has to happen?_

Even as the water was hot he shivered with cold, goosebumps settling on his arms and back.

_Weak!_ The deep growling voice echoed through his mind. _You're a coward and weakling! A failure! I'll teach you to cry like a baby!_

His memories choked him up for a second, then rage boiled up hot. Trying to jump up he lost his balance and grabbed for the shower curtain, tearing a few of the holes. He rather scrambled to his legs again and the curtain was drooping where he had ripped it. Panting hard he stood under the steady stream of hot water, the wound on his right shoulder and the cut on his chest throbbing.

The pain finally brought him back to the present. He finished his shower in a hurry and got dressed into the underwear Joe had brought in. He brushed his teeth, getting rid of the disgusting taste of bile, and left for the bedroom to get dressed.

Kat and Lizzie still hid under the covers but Maureen sat leaning against the headboard, her legs pulled up, chin resting on her knees. Her eyes followed him when he went to the wardrobe to get out a suit and put a shirt and tie on.

Everyone was watching him. _Dammit!_ Even under Maureen's stare he felt uncomfortable. Once dressed he held up his hand towards Joe, his fingers splayed to indicate to give him five minutes. Joe did not object.

So Elliot sat down on the edge of the bed. Gently he took Kathleen's shoulders to wake her up. When she opened her eyes, he kissed her on the forehead. Then he did the same with Elizabeth before he leaned over to hug Maureen, breathing a kiss on her forehead, too.

"Daddy?" Lizzie whined. "Are you leaving?"

Elliot was effectively winded. These simple words pierced his heart. And all he could do was nod.

"No!" she moaned. "Don't go, daddy! No!"

Hugging her tight he stroked her head. How he loved the softness of her hair… and an overwhelming desire to brush and braid it crushed down on him. Still, there was no time. He heard Joe clear his throat. Throwing a helpless look at Maureen he tried to remove Lizzie's arms from his neck. The shoulder of his jacket was already soaked with tears.

Maureen reached out for her sisters and pulled them into her embrace as Elliot stood up.

"Let's go," Joe said.

Elliot could not force himself to walk away from his daughters. Joe had to grab his arm hard and drag him out of the room while he was looking at them, his eyes pleading for forgiveness, as he was taken from them. He only turned when he was out in the hall.

Feeling numb from the inside out he let himself be shoved toward the stairs. Just out of the corner of his eyes his view fell into another room and his heart started to race. Breaking out of Joe's grip he burst through the door.

Crouching down beside John he gasped. His colleague's right hand was cuffed to the bed and he did not look good. Dried blood covered his face. There was an ugly laceration right over the left eye. Just by first sight he could be dead.

Then Elliot saw him breathe.

With a groan John turned onto his back. His right eye opened, the other was too swollen.

"Elliot," he moaned. "What…? Is it morning already?"

With a nod Elliot confirmed his friend's assumption.

"You okay?" John whispered hoarsely. "The kids?"

Once more Elliot caught his breath. _He's lying here, injured, badly beaten… and worries about our wellbeing!_ Tears of shame shot into his eyes.

"Hey." John sounded concerned. "What's…?"

_Wrong_, he had wanted to say, but choked it back as soon as it came to his mind. It was obvious what was wrong. Maybe he did not fully understand what was going on in Elliot right now, but he had a very good idea. With his free hand he reached up to cup his friend's cheek.

"Hey, chin up, Elliot," he murmured, his words slightly slurred by his swollen lip. "You know what to do and you'll do it."

Grimacing Elliot tried to fight his misery down. Was his desperation visible in his features? It seemed to be.

"You'll do the right thing, Elliot," John said, tightening his hold on his face encouragingly. "I _know_ you will. You _can_ do it, Elliot. You're so strong… stronger than I'd ever be in such a situation. _You'll make it!_"

More tears shot into Elliot's eyes and rolled down his cheeks. He wished to be able to talk with John, but he still was not allowed to.

He felt Joe grab both his upper arms and now he was jerked back. His gaze was locked with John's and even as his sight was blurred with tears he saw his friend's eyes glow compassionately. Joe dragged him onto his feet and to the door. A brutal shove made him crash into the wall opposite the door.

"You'll just do what you're told to do," Joe spat, shoving Elliot over to the stairs.

The detective stumbled and grabbed for the handrail. It was all he could do not to fall down the stairs as Joe pushed him again. That was the last thing he needed, a bad drop down the steps.

"Keep going!" Joe snarled. He threw the car keys at Elliot's feet. "You have a hearing to attend!"

xxx

**Lavender residence**

When the first sounds of people getting up were audible, lieutenant Simmons stood up to wake Olivia. She was alert at once and sat down next to him, putting on earphones. What she heard were usual morning noises, someone was in the bathroom, using first the toilet then the faucet. Then she heard Maureen.

With horror she listened to the enfolding scene. Maureen spat at the leader. He was holding Elliot back from using the restroom. Olivia knew that he was chained to the bed and forbidden to speak. She could not imagine how humiliating it had to be for him to be at the mercy of these freaks. Still, he wanted to protect his kids. It was his job to keep them safe…

And now his daughter was defending him.

_Poor Elliot,_ she thought. _That must be really tough. _But she also felt a surge of pride for Maureen.

She glanced at Simmons. No reaction was visible in his features, offering no way to guess what he was thinking. His small signs of compassion he had given earlier were welcome. Beyond that Olivia was grateful that he was acting like a complete professional. Even as they were trained SWAT cops, everyone was just human and being confronted with the hostage takers' actions made it difficult not to judge.

Olivia felt the strain. There were moments when she could just get up, run over to the Stablers' house and gun the men down who were holding her friends at gunpoint. But that was not her decision to make. As much as she loathed them, once the men were overpowered and arrested they had to be tried and sentenced by a jury.

The detective sighed. There had been no news from Fin and they did not know anything about the whereabouts of Enrique Mendoza. He just vanished.

Right then she listened to Elliot getting dressed. Then he was back at the bed, comforting his daughters. They had not much time before Joe separated them.

Olivia shuddered. Her imagination probably provided her with even more vivid pictures of what was happening than a camera could have done, and it tore her heart apart. She heard how Joe walked Elliot out into the hall. Then he was crashing through another door.

"He's about to leave," Cragen said, interrupting her eavesdropping. "Time for you to go, too, Olivia."

She nodded. Together with a SWAT officer she went to her car. They waited at the crossing she knew Elliot would have to cross on his way to Manhattan.

Waiting again!

Waiting was horrible. Olivia wished for time to fly but it was merely passing slowly. When Elliot finally crossed the street they were waiting in, the SWAT officer started the car and followed him.

xxx

**Adirondack State Park**

Kathy had no idea how late it was, but she saw the early morning sun glow on the waveless surface of the lake.

_How far is it?_ she wondered. _Or did we already go all the way around and we didn't notice? Are we circling the lake a second time?_

She felt like crying and only her son's presence kept her from it. For him she had to be strong. Dickie was relying on her. As she was his mother she was expected to be the strong one, taking the lead in these desperate hours.

_What are the girls doing? What is Elliot doing? And John? For him it must be even worse. He just stumbled into this nightmare. They don't need him, he's disposable…_ She shuddered. _And I'm sure he knows it._

The sounds of the forest did not disturb her anymore. She had reached the point where she could tell the sounds of the birds stirring in the trees from larger animals moving on the ground. Suddenly she froze, grabbing for Dickie's shoulders. She pulled him behind low bushes.

"Shh," she soothed and pointed towards a small clearing, whispering, "Look, there."

Even though he was dead tired he followed her gaze. There on the clearing was a herd of deer, five, no six adults and two younger ones. The latter were still smaller than their mothers, but did not wear the speckled coat of a fawn anymore. They also were browsing together with the grown deer.

"Awww," Dickie breathed. He smiled, then his eyes grew wide as a buck entered the clearing, too. They watched for a few minutes until the group vanished into the deeper forest.

"That was cool," Dickie said. "Better than the zoo."

"Oh yeah," Kathy replied, smiling lovingly at him. "And now we'll have to go on, too."

"Noooo," he whined, rolling his eyes.

"Yes," she declared and pulled him with her.

Being able to see sufficiently made walking much easier, their heavy legs from running the forest all night made it more difficult. The wood seemed to be endless. So they stopped stunned when they rounded some bushes and stepped onto a dirt road.

"Mom!" Dickie shouted excitedly.

"Yeah, I know. Come, let's follow it."

Walking down the road she thought about diving into the undergrowth as soon as they heard the sound of a motor. They had no way of knowing if it was their captors, so they had to be cautious. And that was when they really heard a car approach. Her theory of hiding was good but not feasible as Dickie wound out of her grip.

"No!" she shrieked, trying to catch his arm and pull him down for cover. But he was running towards the big SUV coming down the forest road. It skidded to a halt when the driver noticed the boy. The passenger door flew open and a man jumped out.

"Dickie!" he shouted, spreading his arms as he ran toward him.

Dickie flew into his embrace, yelling, "Uncle Fin!"

xxx

**Lavender**** residence**

Cragen was startled by his cell phone ringing. The caller identification on the display sent shivers down his back.

"What's up, Fin?"

"We've got them," his detective answered.

That was all Cragen wanted to know, all he needed to know.

"Great!" he breathed. "Are they okay?"

"Yeah. We're on the road back to Newcomb right now. We'll come back with the chopper as soon as possible."

"Thanks, Fin." Cragen turned to lieutenant Simmons. "Green light for the SWAT team. Let's go get them out."

Simmons did not have to be told that twice. He already was on the radio, instructing the team leader.

"Captain Cragen?"

His heartbeat accelerated as he recognized Kathy's voice on the phone. "Yeah, Kathy. I'm so glad we found you. Are you and…" _Dickie okay_, he wanted to ask, but was interrupted.

"Don? What about Elliot and the girls? Are they okay? Have you gotten them out?"

"We're about to go in and get them," he said. "Don't worry. You'll soon be back together."

Right then Simmons was beckoning him. They were about to go in.

"I need to go. Talk to you later, Kathy."

And he finished the call.

xxx

**Stabler residence**

John sat at the kitchen table, trying to act normal even as it was plainly visible that everything was nothing but that. The girls had stared at him aghast when they met for breakfast and it took him some gentle soothing and several hugs to convince them that he was okay… injured, but not seriously and otherwise okay.

He was sure that Lizzie, Kat and Maureen were scared to death. They had to be. They were young and innocent and the most precious things on earth for his colleague and friend Elliot Stabler.

Now they were his responsibility.

Sitting at the short end of the table he surveyed them preparing breakfast. Lizzie sat at the table, too, already bowing over a bowl of frosted Cheerios but picking at them listlessly. Kat was preparing sandwiches for everyone and Maureen cracked the last remaining eggs into a bowl to whisk them. Then she poured them into a pan and started stirring until they set up.

Both girls were concentrating hard on their tasks, trying to divert their thoughts. For Maureen there was nothing right now but the stirring of the eggs in the pan. She flavored them with salt and pepper and some mixed spices. In a second pan the last ham was frying.

It could have been a normal Tuesday morning if it had not been for the masked men who guarded the three girls and the detective. They were waiting for food, too, and made no secret of their intention to get the best pieces of the meal the girls were throwing together.

John watched them work, glad that they had something to do. Since their father had left for court they were on edge and he shared their anxiety.

Taking a deep breath, he leaned back into his chair.

"Lizzie," he said. "You should eat something, honey."

"I'm not hungry," she mumbled, staring down into her bowl.

_Neither am I,_ John thought even though his stomach was grumbling. He felt the gazes of the men in his back, at least he told himself that that was what was unsettling him.

Then he did a double take. The window. Was someone at the window? He tried not to draw the men's attention when he watched the window intently. There…

John stood up, stretching. He hurt. Damn, he had grown too old for this kind of excitement. Looking out of another window when he turned, he made his decision. Just for a split second his gaze locked with green eyes.

"Ugh!" he groaned, grabbing for his stomach. "Agh!"

"Uncle Munch! What's wrong?" Kathleen's voice broke.

"Don't know…" he gasped, stumbling over to them, pulling Lizzie with him as if he was just searching for something to steady him. "I…"

Hearing a single cracking sound he grabbed the girls and threw them to the floor, himself over them, shielding them with his body.

Lizzie squealed!

Kathleen shrieked!

Maureen just gasped!

Windows shattered!

Black dressed men!

Weapons drawn!

"Police!"

"Put the guns down!"

"Down on the floor! Move!"

In a matter of seconds it was over. A SWAT team had broken through windows and doors, herded the bad guys together, disarmed them and forced them down. The surprised men were cuffed before they even realized what had happened. Uniformed officers with protective vests followed them.

Suddenly captain Cragen was beside John.

"John! You can get up again," he said. "We got them. You're safe. John?"

He did not quite get that his captain was there. All he knew was that he had to protect the children. So he tried to chase Cragen away, taking him for one of the bad guys.

"John, it's me, Don."

Slowly John's gaze cleared with recognition and he sat back, leaning against the kitchen counter. The girls also got up, Lizzie and Kat throwing themselves into Cragen's embrace. Maureen leaned against John and gently hugged him.

"Thank you, John," she murmured and breathed a kiss on his cheek.

Warmth flooded through John's body.

"So does this mean that you have Kathy and Dickie?" John asked.

"Yeah, John. We have." Cragen hugged the girls, then reached for his cell phone to call Olivia.

xxx

**Manhattan**

**Criminal Court**

**100 Centre Street**

Olivia found Elliot in the hall, around the corner from the court room where the Mendoza trial was held, where he tried to get candy out of the vending machine.

"C'mon, stupid," he grumbled, hitting the poor machine which did not want to release the bag of chocolates he had paid for.

"Elliot!"

Recognizing his partner's voice he scowled, but did not look around at her. Instead he pounded the automat again.

"Elliot! Stop that!" Olivia said. "That machine didn't hurt anyone."

"It didn't?" he grumbled, slapping against the glass. "It stole my money!"

Staying away from him seemed to be a good idea, but that would not help. Olivia could understand why he was so aggressive. Damn! She also felt an urge to pound the living hell out of the bastards who did that to her partner and his family.

_Have they bugged him again?_ she suddenly wondered. _Is someone listening in to what we're saying?_

"Elliot?" Tentatively she reached out for him, but he flinched back from her.

"Leave me alone," he spat.

"Elliot…"

"Stop that! You can't help me, okay!"

"We're doing everything we can, Elliot." Olivia felt so damned helpless. One part of her wanted to be in Queens to go in together with the SWAT team once Fin let them know that they had Kathy and Dickie, and another part wanted to be here to help Elliot deal with the situation. But right now it did not look as if he would let her help. "Have a little faith in us," she said. "We'll get them out. You'll see. Everything will be okay."

"No, Olivia!" he yelled, hitting the machine once more. "Nothing will be okay!"

"Elliot!"

"Stop it!" he screamed. Then he forced his voice down to an aggressive whisper. "Just leave me alone! You can't help me! They won't be safe until I testify! That's the only thing that can help!"

His agitation stabbed her heart. Of course she had no kids of her own, but she had seen his growing up and she loved them. She knew desperation when she saw it and right now it downright jumped into her face.

Elliot started to pace. He had to get rid of his anxiety! He felt like running, but actually he was so exhausted that he could have collapsed right here on the spot.

"Trust us, Elliot," Olivia said, tentatively reaching out for him. But he pushed her arms away. "We'll get them to safety. We will."

"No!"

This single word left him as a gasp as he leaned against the wall. Then he slid down to the floor. Olivia's heart broke for him. She hardly recognized her partner in the man sitting on the cold tiles.

That was when her cell phone vibrated against her hip. She plucked it out of its case and flipped it open.

"Benson." She only listened for a few seconds. "Thanks, cap," she said and snapped the phone shut again.

"Elliot?" she asked, urgently, as she squatted down beside him. "That was captain Cragen."

Muscles twitched in his face and neck, but he did not look at her.

"El?" Gently she placed one hand on his shoulder and squeezed it. "El, we have them. They are safe."

He did not even turn his head.

"Elliot? Did you hear what I said? The SWAT team got them out. Your family is safe."

Her words did not seem to reach his ear. Even if he did hear her… he still did not react to her words.

"Elliot…"

"No!" he screamed, jumping to his feet. "You're lying! You just want me to say that I saw them shoot! But I can't, I can't!"

Olivia was taken aback. He did not believe her! But why? He could not honestly believe that she lied to him! That they put his loved ones in grave danger knowingly!

"El, you can't think…"

"Don't tell me what I can or can't think!" he spat. "Just… leave me alone!"

And with that he strode away and slammed the door of the men's restroom closed behind himself.

tbc…


	39. Chapter 39

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. :D This chapter really was a fight… and the next will be one, too. Phew! At least I have this one finished now. Big, big, big, BIG thanks to my beta, JO. She helped me so much with wording and procedure of the court scene that you can say that we wrote it together. Thank you. :)

**39**

**Queens**

Captain Don Cragen was at the side of his detective when the paramedics shoved his gurney into the ambulance. John Munch looked tired, no, exhausted and had some minor injuries, but otherwise he seemed to be okay. They wanted to take him to the hospital for a check up and one night of observation to be sure that there was nothing serious missed.

"Don?" John mumbled. "Where's Olivia?"

"She's at court," Cragen told him, his voice carrying compassion. In this situation and under the thin covers the tall, lean detective appeared almost frail. "She's telling Elliot and Alex that you and the kids are safe."

"He'll have a hard time believing you." Sadness clouded his face. "This _Barry_-guy messed him up thoroughly. Did you get him, too?"

The captain could not answer at once. It was not necessary. John got everything he had to know by the play of Cragen's features.

"Dammit!" he swore. "We need to get this guy. This bastard has to pay for what he did!"

"He will," Cragen said at once. "We know who _Barry_ really is. He's Enrique Mendoza, Pablo's brother."

"I suspected that much." John tried to lie more comfortably but to no avail. "Man, we have to get him or this will never be over!"

"We will get him," Cragen declared.

"Who's with the kids right now?" John wanted to know.

"Mrs. Lavender, one of Elliot's neighbors is taking care of them," Cragen said.

"You should do that," John told him bluntly. "Maybe she can take over Kathy's part for a while, but you know that the girls need someone who'll help them deal with the actual threat, help them understand why this happened to them and what will happen now, especially with their father. So a cop should take care of them. You should."

Cragen was stunned. Of course he had thought about help for the kids, but once the immediate threat was over, this thought was pushed to the back of his mind.

"You don't have to go with me," John said right then. "I'm a big boy, I can take care of myself."

This made Cragen smile even though he definitely did not feel like smiling. John was right, as much as he might appreciate his captain's company… he did not need it. But Elliot's kids needed him desperately.

"Okay, John," Cragen said. "I'll come to see you as soon as possible."

"Not necessary, sir," John warded off. "Make sure we get the bastard! He deserves to rot in hell!"

Cragen nodded. "See you, John."

Then he got out of the ambulance and watched it drive away. Turning around he saw the girls sitting with Mrs. Lavender on the stairs to the front porch. The two younger sisters were crying, burying their heads in Maureen's shoulders. She stroked their hair comfortingly.

That was when Cragen's cell phone rang.

"Yeah, Olivia."

Listening to her, his forehead furrowed worriedly.

_No!_

xxx

**Adirondack State Park**

"I want to call him," Kathy Stabler said to Fin. She sat in one of the seats of the police chopper which was about to take off the trip back to Manhattan. "I want him to know that we're okay. And I want to call Maureen, Kat and Lizzie, too."

"Of course," Fin replied, getting out his cell phone. Hitting speed dial he waited for a connection with Elliot but he only got his voice mail. "Sorry. He must be at court already. The cell phone's not activated. I can try Olivia's."

"Yeah, do that," Kathy smiled tiredly.

On her right side Dickie leaned against her. He had wrapped his arms around her and she held him protectively. His eyes rested on the big detective whom Fin had met at the field where the chopper set down. Detective Robert Goren, as Fin had introduced him, seemed to be nice, but his size was intimidating… and Dickie was fed up with intimidating men.

Kathy felt how her son was burrowing into her side. Even as tired as he was, being found and about to return home he was now wound up again. His nervous energy was flowing from his grip into her and made her antsy.

"Olivia's line's busy," Fin said. "I'll have to try again. Do you want to call at home instead?"

"Yes, please," she replied and gladly received his phone. Dialing their home number quickly she raised it to her ear and waited. After two rings a man answered the call, "Yes?"

Kathy was stunned. _Who the hell…?_

"Kathy Stabler speaking. Who the… I mean…?" Her voice was slightly shaking. Now that the immediate danger was over and she slowly settled down, she felt her tiredness and found it difficult to keep her thoughts focused.

"Lieutenant Simmons here, Mrs. Stabler," he told her. "I'm really glad to hear your voice. I assume you want to talk to your girls or captain Cragen? I have to go outside. They left the house. One moment, I'm on my way out…"

She heard his footsteps through the phone.

"We're so glad that you're in good health," he kept talking. "I'm outside now, looking for the girls…. hold the line, please."

"Okay." Kathy was on tenterhooks. Simmons kept talking but she did not listen. She yearned to hear her daughters' voices. Instead she heard the man talk to other men and then he was back on the phone.

"Ma'am? Captain Cragen's on his way to Manhattan and has taken the girls and a neighbor, Mrs. Lavender, with him."

Kathy was stunned and hurt. She missed her girls so much that it made her insides constrict when she realized that she would not be able to talk to them right now. Then his other words took on meaning. _Mrs. Lavender! She's with them! They're with people who care about them and whom they trust._ That soothed her emotional pain a bit.

"Are they going to court?" she heard herself ask.

"Yes, Ma'am."

"Thank you, sir. I'll call the captain."

"Okay," he just said and finished the call.

"I guess you have Cragen on speed dial?" Kathy asked Fin who then looked at her questioningly. "He took the girls to meet Elliot at court."

"Okay, I'll call him," he said, receiving the cell from her. He listened, but could not get a connection. "His line's busy. Guess he's talking to Olivia…"

xxx

**Queens**

"Olivia!" Cragen shouted into his cell phone. "Olivia! Stop!"

She was totally confused, telling him about Elliot who had shut himself in the men's restroom.

"Olivia! They're here. I can get them on the phone if you just hold the line a moment, okay?"

"Okay," she replied, her voice shaking.

"Calm down, Olivia," he advised her. "It's over. They're all free. Everything will be okay."

"Yes, Cap," she said lowly.

Cragen approached the house, stopping in front of the stairs. Who should he address? Mrs. Lavender?

"Maureen?" he finally said. "Here's someone on the phone for you."

"Is it Dad?" she asked, her eyes shining hopefully.

"No, it's Olivia." He smiled ruefully. "But you can talk with your dad soon."

So she took the cell phone from him and held it to her ear.

"Olivia?" Suddenly she was choked up with tears again. She could hardly get this single word out.

"Maureen! Honey! Are you okay?" her father's partner asked. Olivia seemed to be close to tears, too, but that certainly was the wrong impression.

"I… I think so," Maureen stuttered. "Is Dad there with you?"

"Yes, he's here," Olivia said. "I'll give him the phone. Hold on a second."

xxx

**Manhattan**

**Criminal Court**

**100 Centre Street**

ADA Alex Cabot had not slept well that night. Actually that was an understatement. She felt as if she had not slept at all. As soon as she got up that morning her stomach was rumbling. Her breakfast remained almost untouched on the kitchen counter when she left for court.

Now she was sitting in her office going once more over her notes and wondering if she would be able to question Elliot as they had rehearsed or if she would have to improvise. So far she had no news from Cragen or Olivia and she was anxious about the situation in Queens and about Kathy and Dickie's safety.

_They haven't forgotten to tell me? I have to know what's going on! I can't question him if he is still being blackmailed._

She scratched her head with her pen, then twisted a strand of her hair around it. When she brought it down to scribble on her pad the clip got caught in her hair.

"Dammit!"

Grumbling she grabbed her hair with both hands, trying to free the pen. But she could not get it loose. So she crossed the room to one of the storage cupboards and opened it. Standing in front of the mirror that hung on the inside of the door, she fumbled with her hair.

"That had to happen now. As if the trial's not difficult enough. No, I also have to mess up my hair."

When she finally freed the pen, she threw it on the desk, rummaged through the drawers for her brush and fixed her hair. Glancing at the clock on the wall she noticed that she had to hurry now to be in time.

_Why didn't they call? Damn! Don't let me down like that!_

She grabbed her stuff and rushed to the door, down the hall. On her way she pulled out her cell phone, calling Cragen. The line was busy.

_Wonderful! Just what I need now. Please let Elliot be here!_

Olivia's phone was busy, too. Alex could not get a connection. Almost running up the next hall she dialed Elliot's number. The phone rang, but no one answered.

_No!_ Her heart skipped a beat. Fearing the worst she hurried to be at court in time.

xxx

Supporting himself with both hands, Elliot leaned heavily on the washbowls. The restroom was a sanctuary, but not for long. He knew Olivia. She would not let herself be stopped by three letters written on the door.

Elliot had no idea if the bug in his badge had been the only mean of surveillance Barry had. Maybe he had a bug on him again and he just did not know it. Where could it be? In his keys? In his belt? Some button?

His fury had dissolved. Instead fear froze his heart, deep, powerful fear.

_How could she lie to me? How could she be so cruel? I trust them to watch the situation and she tries to play me._

Elliot hung his head because he could not stand his own sight in the mirror. He knew that he did not have much time left. When did he have to be in court? How long did he have? Twenty heartbeats? Ten?

It was thumping in his ears, making his blood rush.

Some kind of miracle had saved him so far from other men coming in. He did not feel like having an encounter like the one he had yesterday with Bobby Goren. Right now it would make him a nervous wreck.

_Well, maybe I already _am_ a nervous wreck._

Tears corded up his throat. Gasping for breath he tried to fight them back. He already felt sick again. He did not want to be sick.

_Oh, please, don't let me throw up again!_

He opened the faucet and scooped water up with his hand to wash his face. Still he felt rushes of heat and cold wash over him in turns. They threatened to flush the remains of his strength away, making him shiver. His body was about to let him down. The constant stress did him no good. He felt his knees buckle under him.

_Oh, shit!_

Grabbing the washbowl harder he fought to remain standing.

"Elliot?" Olivia asked tentatively.

Elliot had been right. She did not let herself be stopped by customs. Her heart leapt into her throat when she saw her partner standing over the bowls. His face was frighteningly pale. She did not like how he had to fight to keep standing. He was starting to shudder with strain.

"Elliot," she gasped, being close to tears herself. "Elliot? They're on the phone…" She held it out to him.

"Don't play with me!" he spat, pushing himself back up from his support. "That's just cruel! I can't believe that you would stoop to doing that!"

Stunned Olivia could not reply to his accusation. This was not her partner. She did not recognize him in the man standing in front of her. _What have they done to you?_ Now tears shot into her eyes. For the moment the cell was forgotten.

"You bitch!" he cried out with mental pain, slapping the cell phone out of her hand. It flew across the room, hit an open stall door, spun around and dropped into a toilet bowl.

Gasping for breath Elliot stood just for a few seconds in front of her before he pushed her aside and stormed out of the restroom. Out in the hall he bumped into Alex who was on her way to the court room.

"Elliot!"

She grabbed for him to keep her balance and was surprised when he flinched back. Her eyes widened as she caught a glimpse of his frantic stare. He pulled away and stormed off for the courtroom.

_What the hell…?_

Alex still stood on the same spot when Olivia dashed out of the restroom, too, and almost ran her over.

"Alex! Good to see you! You gotta help! El's wife and kids are safe, but he doesn't believe us. You have to stall until we can get them here. Once he sees that they're okay, he can tell the truth."

Alex nodded her agreement, but judging by what she had seen in Elliot's eyes for the brief moment when he met her gaze, she was not sure he would be able to testify at all. He was hanging by a frayed thread.

"Oh, and can I borrow your cell phone?" Olivia asked. "He's dumped mine into the toilet."

"Sure," the attorney mumbled, fishing her cell phone out of her bag.

"Thanks," Olivia panted and sped off down the hall.

Alex continued her way to the court room, not sure what she could do. They were just about to take up where they had left off yesterday. Everyone expected her to let the defense question Elliot, and then, as he was her last witness, she would have to rest her case.

When she entered the courtroom and went to her desk, she found Elliot sitting in the first row, his hands clawing at the edge of the seat, his whole posture stiff. His lips were pressed into thin lines and the blue eyes shimmered cold under a deep scowl.

_He doesn't want to be here,_ she thought. _He knows what he's going to do is wrong and suffers because of that._ Suddenly she felt heat rise into her face as she flushed with shame, realizing how selfish she had been all morning, just thinking about the case and not considering how much worse it would have been for Elliot and his family.

Turning around at him she tried to catch his eyes, but his stare would not lock with hers.

"Elliot!" she whispered urgently. "It's okay. It's over!"

No reaction. He either did not hear or chose to ignore her.

Right at this moment the bailiff called, "All rise."

Everyone who was physically able rose from the seats while judge McKellen entered the court room.

"The Honorable Judge Joanna W. McKellen presiding."

She sat at her bench and told the crowd to be seated. She put some papers down on her desk and looked up.

"Good morning, counselors. I trust that you both had a pleasant evening and are ready to wrap this case up today."

Alex almost choked as her throat suddenly went dry.

"Yes, Your Honor," she heard herself say while she cried out inwardly. _No! Yes! I can't!_

"Miss Cabot, as I recall you were still questioning Detective Stabler. Is that correct?"

"Yes, Your Honor," Alex automatically replied, dreading what was to come.

"Very well then." Judge McKellen looked to Elliot and said, "Detective Stabler, would you please return to the stand?"

Elliot moved like a marionette, directed by the invisible strings of fear and responsibility. He went up front and took his seat. Alex eyed him suspiciously. Right at the moment he did not look as fragile as before but who could know what might break him.

"I remind you that you are still under oath," Judge McKellen said. "Do you understand?"

Elliot nodded. His throat was corded up and he definitely did not trust his voice. But then he forced himself to answer and was horrified by his voice which he could barely prevent from croaking.

"Yes, Your Honor."

Alex looked at him. She knew she could get away with a few more questions to try to coerce him into saying he saw Mendoza at the brothel, but he would just deny it. Then the defense attorney would object to her badgering. It would buy some time, but not enough.

Elliot was staring out at the courtroom, but he refused to look at her. She knew he had reached his limit and was about to shatter like a dropped egg. One question from her about why he had changed his testimony was all it would take to make him lose his composure, and that would probably give them all the time they needed to get his family to court, but she just could not do that to him.

Alex knew she could not put Elliot through a prolonged questioning. She had to find another way to buy some time, so she stood up and cleared her throat.

"Excuse me, your honor, but the people would like to request a recess."

Scowling at her, the judge said, "We haven't even begun yet, Ms. Cabot. How could you possibly need a recess?"

_Ok, do I tell her I'm sick, or irresponsible?_ "I realize that, Your Honor, but it seems I have… um… an…. Uh… urgent need. It's not always predictable."

She could feel her face turning crimson as the judge tried to figure out what she meant. She could not come right out and say anything, because that would be lying to the court and it could get her in trouble, but an _urgent need_ could be anything, from what she was hoping the judge would assume to waiting for her witness's family to arrive in court so he could testify truthfully without having to worry that they would be harmed. She could not bear to look at Elliot's panicked expression as she waited, so she kept her eyes on the floor, which she knew would also heighten the impression of embarrassment.

"An urgent need?" Judge McKellen queried.

Alex looked up to meet the other woman's glare, squirmed a bit, and said uncomfortably, "I am sure you have had similar… inconveniences, ma'am." She stressed the ma'am because it was unconventional to call a judge sir or ma'am and it drew attention to Judge McKellen's gender. At the same time, she still avoided actually specifying what she was trying to imply, so she could not be accused of lying.

"I couldn't find what I needed in the ladies' room on this floor," Alex added for good measure and felt her face flame red. _There we go. Sick… sort of… _and_ irresponsible._

Some of the female members of the jury giggled nervously. The men in the room shifted uneasily. Elliot hung his head in abject misery.

Finally, Judge McKellen blushed faintly and said, "The court will grant a ten minute recess," banging the gavel.

_No! Nooo!_

Repeatedly it hammered in Elliot's head. He did not see Alex dash down the aisle and through the doors. Everything around him seemed to dissolve. His vision was foggy and even if he wanted to, he would not have been able to move.

xxx 

Alex felt horrible as she sped down the hall in search of Olivia. When she found her the detective was on the phone with Cragen again. She held her other ear closed, because she could hardly understand her captain.

"They're on their way," Olivia said as soon as she spotted the attorney.

"Good," Alex panted, out of breath from her run as well as the stress. "Where are they right now?"

"They just left. They'll need about twenty minutes, at least."

Alex's heart dropped into her stomach. She knew how long it took to drive from Queens to Manhattan, but she still had to kill ten to fifteen minutes until they would arrive.

"I hope he doesn't break down on the stand," she mumbled, but Olivia heard her anyway.

"He won't," she said. "Have a little faith in him. I do."

"I'm not so sure if he'll be able to manage that. He doesn't look good." She swallowed. "I have no idea what they put him through, but I'm under the impression that he's about to loose it."

Thoughtfully Olivia rubbed her chin. After the surveillance system had been planted she had witnessed some of the abuse Elliot had to endure. It had horrified her. Still she did not want to admit that those men might be able to break her partner.

"I refuse to believe that. He's strong. He won't let you down."

"But maybe we let him down… _I_ let him down." Repeatedly Alex glanced at her watch. "I have to go back. Oh, Olivia, don't mention anything to anyone, okay."

"Okay." Olivia said, but as Alex turned to leave, she took her arm. "Everything's going to be okay," she tried to reassure her, smiling encouragingly as she hoped.

Alex returned the smile and headed back to the courtroom.

xxx

"Thank you, Your Honor."

Elliot heard Alex's voice like through cotton, as if his ears were stuffed. His vision was slightly blurred. His breaths did not seem to provide his lungs with any oxygen, so he felt increasingly suffocated while he waited for the session to proceed.

"Are the people prepared to resume questioning?"

That had to be the judge. Elliot could not really tell. He heard Alex answer positively while he tried to stop the courtroom from spinning.

"Detective Stabler…"

Desperately he tried to focus on the blond attorney he could only make out as a shape through the fog which threatened to engulf him. He saw her lips move, but whatever she said was lost to him. Certainly she had asked him a question. What had it been? He did not know.

"Detective Stabler?" Alex started to sound annoyed even as she did not want to. She had to get him at least through five to ten more minutes. She could not afford to lose him to the cross exam already. That might mean that the defense would tear him apart. She had to stabilize him before David Webber got a chance to attack him.

"Detective, according to your testimony yesterday you stated that you saw men running from the scene of the raid, followed and arrested them. Is that correct?"

Expectantly she looked him over. His eyes were unfocused and she could not be sure if he even followed her question.

"Yes, that's correct," he mumbled.

Alex let out a breath she did not know she had been holding. _I got an answer out of him._ Now he was looking at her. She almost sighed.

"Detective Stabler, please tell us who the men you arrested were."

His gaze drifted to the defendants. He did not feel so dizzy anymore and it was easier now to keep his voice from shaking when he answered.

"The men I cornered and who were arrested that night were the defendants, Mr. Mendoza and Mr. Domingo."

"Please describe what happened after the arrest."

"The other officers detained the men and I returned to the scene of the raid."

"What did you do on your way back?"

"I met Detective Taylor. We found two weapons on the ground beside the sidewalk we had taken before."

"And saved them as evidence?" Alex asked to get more detailed information.

"Yes."

_Well, that was very detailed,_ she thought and ordered herself, _a__nother question, now!_

"What kind of guns did you find?"

"Two 9mm magnums," Elliot replied, sounding more confident now. "One was a Beretta, the other a Heckler & Koch." Actually he was not sure where Alex was heading with this question. Well, he would answer as much as he could.

"Were these the guns which were used to shoot at Detectives Benson and Stabler?"

"Objection!" Webber yelled. "Detective Stabler's no expert on firearms."

"He can refer to the report he got from the forensic expert," Alex threw in. "Which results Detective Taylor already explained in his testimony."

"Hearsay!" Webber interrupted her.

Alex huffed but secretly thanked Webber for the added delay. "As the exchange of information between the forensic crime lab and the investigating detective is an essential part of Detective Stabler's job this is not hearsay. He has to deal with that kind of information everyday."

"Overruled," Judge McKellen said after a moment's thought. "Answer the question."

"According to the forensic report these were the guns which were used to shoot my colleagues, yes," Elliot said. Inwardly he was still shaking, but the familiar situation calmed his stirred mind. Watching the prosecutor intently he waited for the next question.

"And these are the weapons you saw the defendants throw away?"

"Objection! The witness already answered this question!"

Alex bit the inside of her lower lip. She knew she was trying to get Elliot to say something he already said… just by asking it in a slightly different way. Tensely she waited for the judge's decision.

"Sustained."

"Detective Stabler… have you seen the guns in the possession of either Mr. Mendoza or Mr. Domingo?" Alex wanted to know.

"Objection! Miss Cabot is badgering the witness."

Inwardly Alex rolled her eyes. Outwardly, she did not take her eyes off Elliot who tensed up again. The stress broke through again.

"Sustained," Judge McKellen ruled. She looked at Alex expectantly. "Miss Cabot?"

_That's it. I'm done._ "No further questions," she said, returning to her desk and praying that Olivia would be back any minute.

Slowly David Webber rose from his seat at the defense's table. Equally slowly he approached the witness stand.

Elliot swallowed. Not once in his lifetime he had been this nervous on the stand before, not even the very first time he had to testify. _And I thought I'd have to throw up back then? That was a joke! Let's get it over with!_

He felt Alex's eyes on him as well as everybody else's. The jury, the judge, every single one of the crowd on the benches, the defense attorney, they all were watching him. But most of all he felt Mendoza's piercing stare. Without even looking at him Elliot could tell that a smug grin tugged at the corners of his mouth. He knew what was going on, knew that the detective was lying, knew it because he was behind the attack on his family. Elliot clenched his jaw to keep himself from grimacing. His eyes were burning with unshed tears. Blinking once he looked up at Webber.

"Detective Stabler," the attorney just said nonchalantly. "Is it your testimony that you never saw my clients shooting at your colleagues?"

"That is correct," Elliot agreed, wondering about the fact that his once more increasing panic was not audible in his voice.

"You never saw them shooting and yet you chased them down and arrested them, is that correct?"

A strong wave of shame washed over him when Elliot prepared to answer Webber's question. He took a sip of water because his throat was dry and tried to focus on the defense attorney because he could not stand the accusing looks he was sure Alex and the audience were resting on him.

"Yes."

And Webber picked right up on his positive answer. Lazily turning on the spot, he let his gaze drift from the judge over the courtroom to the jury where he let it rest instead on Elliot when he said, "Ah, I see. So… _Why_… did you arrest them?"

_Because the freakin' bastards shot my partner!_ Once more Elliot felt physically sick. He could sense the contentment of the defense lawyer and knew that he was about to help Olivia's almost-killer to get away. _I just can't risk more lives… my kids' lives._

"There was a lot going on, and they were fleeing the scene."

"Uhum." Still Webber looked at the jury, from one of the members to the others. Then he turned to Elliot, nodding almost sympathetically. "Was there a lot of confusion and shouting during the raid?"

"Yes," Elliot had to agree. This part of the story was true. It _was_ all haywire.

"A lot of people moving about the scene?"

Elliot knew where Webber was leading and he hated the lawyer for doing that. "Yes."

"And some shooting?"

Clenching his jaws Elliot said, "Yes."

Nodding his understanding Webber continued, "And can you say with certainty that my clients are the ones who discarded the guns that ultimately proved to be the weapons fired at your colleagues?"

Renewed panic hit Elliot out of the blue. He had no idea why just this question set it off again, but he felt his heartbeat accelerating and his breath catch in his lungs. Suddenly he understood why _Barry_ had insisted on going through his false testimony over and over again… because his thoughts just got stuck and struggled to return to what really had happened. He had caught himself being about to say _yes_ instead of _no_.

"No, not with certainty."

A smug smile appeared on Webber's face. "So for all you know, is it possible that my clients could have been fleeing the scene because they were afraid of the shouting and gunshots and noise?"

"Objection!" Alex interrupted. Mad as she was at Webber she could barely control her voice as she explained why she objected, "Detective Stabler cannot testify about the defendants' mental or emotional state. He has no way of knowing what thoughts or feelings motivated them."

"But he _does_ have years of experience conducting police raids," Webber rushed to clarify. "He has been in more than one firefight, so he is well versed in how civilians in general might react to such a situation. In addition police officers are trained to deal with the unexpected reactions of innocent bystanders to avoid _collateral damage_. Also, I am only asking him if it is _possible_ that they might have been afraid, not whether he knows that they were."

"Overruled," the judge said calmly.

Alex had expected this decision. She had objected because first the question was challengeable and second because she was still playing for time. Her efforts to try and lock her gaze with Elliot, transporting some confidence and support, were thwarted because he just would not look at her.

"So," Webber asked. "Is it _possible_ that they were fleeing because they were frightened by the noise and chaos of the raid?"

Elliot swallowed before he answered and quietly replied, "Yes, I suppose so."

"So… you just saw your partner go down in a gunfight, you saw two people run from the scene… is it _possible_ that you just _assumed_ that they were the shooters?"

Elliot felt his insides rumble. "Yes…" He cleared his throat. "That's possible."

Alex did not feel so well, not liking the direction the cross exam was taking at all. Besides making absolutely clear that Elliot had arrested the wrong people the attorney was about to try and destroy his credibility. Alex could have cried with compassion in open court and gulped her tears down hard.

"Detective, you're an experienced cop," Webber continued. "You usually don't make mistakes. Or do you?"

"Mistakes can happen to all of us," Elliot said, now sounding slightly snappish.

His brows furrowed and Alex knew that his temper was boiling inside of him. He had had to keep himself restrained for two days under a pressure most people would not be able to imagine, in constant fear for the lives of his family and his own. She did not know what she could endure in a similar situation.

"Yeah, to all of us…" Webber mused. "One big mistake already happened to you, Detective Stabler. Morton Sullivan is certainly mad at you because he has served six years in Attica for a crime he never committed. Pursuing a child kidnapper and rapist you came to arrest him, made the case against him and he was convicted… and cleared by a new DNA test four months ago. Is that correct?"

While the attorney spoke Elliot was starting to tremble, first inwardly, then the waves running through him shook his body. He clenched his teeth so hard that he thought even the people in the last row would hear them gnash. His hands clawed at the armrests of his chair.

"Objection!" Alex was fuming. Webber's tactic was obvious and she did not like one bit. "This subject was not part of the testimony."

On the stand Elliot was breathing hard, audibly. His gaze rested on Webber and when the lawyer stepped aside it fell on Mendoza. At once renewed fear grabbed for his heart, squeezing it with an icy hand. His stomach churned.

"Withdrawn," Webber said before Judge McKellen could decide about the objection. "Detective, you said earlier that you don't want to incriminate men you can't positively identify. You falsified your report. You lied to your commanding officer…"

_Oh God! Don't remind me! Don must hate me for what I'm doing! I'm such a pathetic failure._

"Objection!" Alex bellowed. "Will the defense actually ask a question?"

"Sustained," Judge McKellen declared at once. "Get to the point."

"Well, Detective, considering your earlier statements I'm wondering how credible your word is. You testified that my clients were not the men you saw shoot and that you would not want to incriminate innocent men. How can we be sure that you won't change your mind again?"

In the back of the courtroom the doors clicked open, but Alex was ignoring everything except for Webber's questions and Elliot's answers. If someone was bringing her another update on Cragen's progress with Elliot's family, it would have to wait. She didn't dare let herself be distracted now. The stakes were much too high, and she was not worrying about her case.

Webber continued with his question as oblivious to the interruption as Alex. "Don't we have to assume that you would lie on the stand, too?"

_Oh, my God,_ Alex thought. _I have to stop that._

"Yes."

"Objection!" she yelled, thinking wildly about a reason but already despairing because she had spoken too late.

tbc…


	40. Chapter 40

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks to all readers and reviewers. :D Big, big, big, BIG thanks again to my beta, _JO_. You can say that we wrote the court scene together, because we were talking so much about it. It was a collaborative effort. Thank you so much. :)

**40**

**Manhattan**

**Criminal Court**

**100 Centre Street**

Webber had already wanted to shoot his next question, when he realized that the witness had given him the wrong answer… wrong from his point of view. More than surprised he stared when the detective shot past him, to the benches and through the door in the banister, flying into the arms of the three girls who came in just seconds before. Bewildered he stared at the scene unfolding before him.

By the time Alex realized that Elliot had spoken truthfully about lying on the stand, he was already out of the witness box and in the arms of his daughters. She turned to look at them, and was surprised when she felt moisture on her cheeks. The tears of relief and happiness for her friend would not stop, so she quickly gave up trying to wipe them away as she fondly watched the emotional reunion.

Chaos ensued. People were shouting, gathering in the rows to get a better look.

At the defense's bench Mendoza rose from his chair, letting out a furious scream. Webber grabbed him by the shoulders, throwing his whole weight into holding him back as he tried to lunge out for Elliot.

"Calm down!" Webber insisted, struggling with the infuriated man. "Not another word! Just sit down!"

Bailiffs rushed to them and forced the defendant back down into his seat.

As Elliot clung to his daughters desperately, tears of relief streamed down his cheeks. He had no ear for the sounds he made. All that mattered right now were the three girls he tried to hug all at once. They were crying, too, and their whines mingled with his irregular, sharp gasps carrying his moans. He felt their arms wrap around him in return and a tearstained kiss on his cheek. That made him collapse, he swayed, hardly finding support in his daughters, and sank down to his knees.

Maureen had been the one smacking the kiss on his face and she was stunned when that elicited an outcry and made him tremble so hard that he broke down in their embraces. Kathleen was shocked by this reaction while Elizabeth did not even notice what was going on, being way too happy to hold her dad in her arms. But they all just snuggled up closer to him, Maureen wrapping one arm around her father's neck now, pulling his head against her chest. She could feel his tears wet her t-shirt.

"Order!" Judge McKellen shouted as a loud murmur swept through the audience. "Order in this court!" For a second she was at a loss then she declared, "Fifteen minutes recess!"

Bailiffs followed her gestures and ushered the jury members out of the courtroom.

Still everything was a jumble and Olivia did her best to hold the curious audience back. Her partner and his kids needed space. She did not like one bit that the circle of spectators around them seemed to close steadily. Everyone wanted to know what was going on and Olivia fought the urge to just pull out her service piece to keep them at bay.

"Back off," she heard Cragen say and saw him shove two men backwards who had notepads in their hands and press credentials on their jackets. Huang also was arguing with nosy people.

Olivia turned her head, finding the defendant. He was writhing in his chair, muttering Spanish curses under his breath. Then Webber decided to use the recess to usher Mendoza out of the courtroom, presumably to talk to him in private.

Judge McKellen eyed the scene skeptically. She was not dumb. You did not become a criminal court judge if you were stupid. She also could read people and so she had a very good idea of what was happening and was relieved that she had not heard any keyword describing it yet. Detective Stabler had been at least reluctant to testify and he practically fled the witness stand the instant the girls entered the courtroom. Both were strong indicators for Judge McKellen that he had been influenced in some way. His agony was obvious and she was glad that she had ordered the jury to leave. Seeing how he reacted to the girls the judge could only conclude that they had been used to blackmail him.

Alex watched, her heart beating frantically. The prosecutor knew she could not allow the reunion scene to drag on for very long. Soon the recess would be over and Elliot would have to return to the stand. She had to brief him first. Slowly she approached him and was stopped dead when he cried out.

"Kathy?" He backed off of his kids and looked around frantically, panic in his voice. "Kathy? Dickie?"

Maureen was the one reacting quick-witted. "They're okay," she said, taking her father's head between both her palms. "We've spoken with them on the phone. Everything's okay."

"She's right, Elliot," another female voice he did not recognize at once added. "They're on their way back from Adirondack State Park with Fin and Detective Goren."

Still Elliot was agonized. Maureen could not hold him when he wriggled into her embrace, still scanning the courtroom for any sign of his wife and son. But then he was grabbed by two other hands which forced him to focus on a face that slowly became familiar.

"Liv?" he croaked.

Smiling compassionately she nodded.

"They're okay, El," she murmured. "They're on their way back in a chopper. They'll be here soon."

"You sure?" he asked timidly, his voice close to breaking. Tears stood in his sapphire eyes.

"Yes, I'm sure," Olivia said, offering him her most encouraging smile.

She felt him shiver. When he broke down in his kids' embrace she had held her breath. His anxiety was obvious and even after his outbreak in the restroom she had expected him to be tougher than that. Now she had to realize that he was closer to his breaking point than she had thought.

Now he was sitting on the floor, leaning against Maureen who whispered reassurances in his ear. Kathleen and Elizabeth were crying, snuggling up to their sister, too.

Olivia wondered where Maureen took her strength from. She saw determination in the girl's eyes and had to admire her, because it seemed to be so natural for her to switch roles and comfort her dad who still was trembling.

Caressing his cheek Olivia tried to calm her partner down and to get him focused on her. Her low murmuring was finally doing the trick even if she did not really say anything important. She was just babbling away so that he could concentrate on her voice.

"Olivia?"

When the detective looked up, she found Alex Cabot squatting next to her.

"Alex… how much time's left?" she asked at once.

"Still enough," the attorney replied. "But I need to get going now." She turned to Elliot. "Do you feel up to going back up on the stand?"

His features crumpled.

"Do I have a choice?" he asked meekly.

_Not really,_ she thought but said instead, "If you can't, Mendoza wins."

To see him like this was heartbreaking and gut wrenching. Alex hated to put that pressure on him now, but if he could not testify she might lose the case.

Maureen affectionately kissed his temple and squeezed his arm.

"We're here, Dad," she said. "Go and nail the bad guy."

His head darted around. For a long moment he stared into his daughter's bright eyes. Then he sighed. Taking another deep breath he reached out for Olivia who helped him to his feet. Slightly shaking he stood between them. Now he also spotted Cragen and Huang.

"We'll be right here in the first row," Cragen said, gesturing the girls to sit down there. "Go and get them."

New determination lit up in Elliot's eyes. He turned to Alex and said, "I'm so sorry, Alex, I was just so relieved to see them."

"I know. That's ok, everything is fine. You're just going to finish the cross examination and then I'll redirect and you can tell the truth, but Elliot, you can't say anything about being held hostage."

"But I have to explain why I lied, don't I?" he asked, still tearful.

Now that the threat was over he seemed to lose his fragile composure. They had just rebuilt it to the point that he could get up from the floor. If they were not careful he might break down again. Olivia hated that thought.

"No, you don't," Alex told him confidently, even as she felt her stomach twist in sympathy. He really had been through the wringer and she was amazed he could still talk with her coherently.

"But then how are you going to make the jury believe the truth?" Elliot was confused. He did not know enough about court procedure to know why he did not have to explain it to the jury… that was Alex's job… but he felt obliged to give an explanation to make sure they knew which version of his testimony was the truth. He did _not_ want Mendoza to get away.

"This is what's going to happen," Alex told him calmly. She could already see the rest of the trial laid out before her like a chessboard, and she had checkmate in just five moves. "First, the defense is going to ask for a mistrial based on the disruption you caused by leaving the stand without being dismissed."

"What? NO!" he panted, already panicking again. "You can't let him get away!"

"Elliot," Alex said his name trying calmly to stop his frantic babbling. She thought about reaching out for him reassuringly, but he might take that the wrong way.

"It's all my fault, isn't it? Because I left the stand. Oh, God, I'm sorry, Alex. I'm sorry, but please don't let him get away!"

"Elliot! It's ok," she tried to reassure him. "Really, this is going to work out," she said soothingly, but she still got no response other than his hysterical rambling. Suddenly his eyes widened and she saw utter terror distorting his features.

"Oh, God! He'll come after my family!" His words came out with sharp irregular gasps. "_Again! _You can't let him do that, Alex! Please! You _can't_ let him get away!"

"Elliot! Elliot! Listen to me!" She finally had to shake him by the shoulders to get his attention focused on her again. When he stopped blathering, she squeezed his shoulders reassuringly, slid her hands down his arms and took his hands in hers.

"Elliot, it's ok," she said compassionately. "I have a plan. Just listen to me."

When he was finally able to hold her gaze again, she told him, "First, take a couple of deep breaths."

He obeyed. Nothing seemed to happen when air rushed into his lungs. It simply served his need for oxygen, nothing more, nothing less. Trying to focus on Alex he exhaled slowly and gasped for the next breath when it became urgent. His following breaths were irregular, but started to even out. Gradually he calmed down. Alex smiled at him.

"Now, let me explain," she said.

Carefully, she told him her plan and made sure he understood what she was doing and why for each step of it. Then she repeated her warning that he could not mention the hostage taking in his testimony.

"But what if they don't ask for a mistrial?" Elliot queried miserably. He could not share the prosecutor's confidence.

"They have to, Elliot," she insisted. "If they don't try to blame it on the prosecution, then they give the impression that they weren't surprised or disturbed by it and that will leave the jury believing that _Mendoza_ is responsible for traumatizing you and your family."

"Still, what if they don't?" he persisted.

"They _will,_" she insisted.

"Damn it, Alex! Tell me what you will do if they _don't._ I need to know that you have a plan for _that_, too."

"Well, then, we'll just skip the first two steps and you'll finish your testimony. Either way, the result is the same," she said coolly.

"And if they ask me why I lied?" Now he was thoroughly befuddled.

Alex grinned. "Unless Mr. Webber is clueless to his client's tactics, I can promise they won't. If the defense attorney asks you why you lied, you can tell him truthfully that your family was being held hostage, and he can't object."

"Really?"

Even given his situation Alex was surprised by his reaction. She was not used to having to explain so much to him. "Not if he introduces the testimony himself, no," she said smugly. "So, do you think you can do this?"

Elliot looked at his kids. He was still shattered, trembling inside, but they were safe. He could do this. His voice was shallow but did not shake anymore when he answered.

"Yeah. I can."

xxx

**Upstate New York**

Exhausted but too agitated to really rest, adrenalin rushing through his system, Fin leaned into his seat. Across from him Kathy and Dickie did the same, the boy snuggled up closely to his mother.

A small smile cracked the features of the street-tough detective. It was a good, an inebriant feeling to have rescued them. For Fin Elliot was not just a colleague, he regarded him as a friend. So it was an especially personal matter for him to find his wife and son and free them from their captors' clutches.

After the long night Fin did not want anything but to sleep, but between his exhilaration and the roaring of the rotors he just could not relax. He wondered how Kathy and Dickie could sleep given the noise of the helicopter. Most likely they just were too worn out by their ordeal.

To Fin's left Bobby leaned in his seat. He had drawn up one leg, his elbow resting on the knee, chin resting on the forearm. His gaze went out of the window but Fin doubted that he saw anything of the landscape rushing by.

"Bobby?" he tried to get his attention. "Bobby?!"

As predicted Bobby did not react at all. So Fin nudged his shoulder. Bobby's head snapped around and for a second he stared at Fin quite unfocused. Then he smiled.

"What's up?" he asked.

"You didn't change at all," Fin smirked at him. "Where've you been with your thoughts?"

"Another case," Bobby mumbled.

Fin looked at Kathy and Dickie who still were asleep. Once more he smiled.

"Well, thanks for your help with this case," Fin said.

With a throwing gesture Bobby warded his thanks off. When Fin remained silent he turned back to looking outside.

Several minutes passed in relative silence. Fin had closed his eyes but still could not rest. He was caught by surprise when someone touched his knee. His eyes flew open and he stared into Kathy's blue eyes.

"Fin? Where are we?"

_In the chopper,_ he almost would have replied and choked it back just in time.

"Almost there," Bobby said absently, still staring outside.

Up ahead in the distance the familiar skyline of Manhattan came into sight.

xxx

**Manhattan**

**Criminal Court**

**100 Centre Street**

Judge McKellen never had left her chair behind the bench and Elliot already was back on the stand when Webber, Mendoza and Domingo returned to the courtroom and took their places at the defense table. Now the jury members entered and filed into their seats. Elliot clenched his jaws and balled his fists. He still was nervous, so nervous that his insides churned and he actually felt sick to his stomach. Again.

_Don't throw up,_ he ordered himself. _Don't puke. Whatever happens, don't get sick in the courtroom._

Alex eyed him skeptically over the rim of the file she was pretending to read. In reality she was looking around, rating the individual participants in the trial. In her mind's eye she was on a chessboard, being the queen who was, at least at the moment, the most powerful piece on the board. To her left was the pawn, Webber, basically powerless and helpless with a limited role, ready to fulfill his destiny to be sacrificed. Right next to Webber sat the opponent's king, Mendoza. He had to be captured and would be by the knight, who was in the right position to strike with his bending path, the L-shape, the roundabout way of his final testimony. Elliot would tell the truth and the game would be over. Presiding over the courtroom was the judge, but she only was watching the game.

_Checkmate in five moves,_ Alex reminded herself. Out of the corner of her eye she perceived movement to her left when Webber rose from his chair.

"Your Honor," he declared, "the defense moves for an immediate mistrial on the grounds that Detective Stabler's outburst before the recess was prejudicial to my client!"

_That's one._ Inwardly she cheered cautiously.

"Sidebar, Your Honor!" she demanded, and the judge invited both lawyers to approach.

At the bench, Alex whispered, "Your Honor, Detective Stabler's over-zealous greeting to his family, while unconventional and inappropriate, was in no way prejudicial. Mr. Mendoza's name was never mentioned while the jury was in the room to hear it. Unless Mr. Webber can tell us what his client might have to do with the Detective's urgent need to embrace his family in the middle of a trial, the jury cannot reasonably assume that Mr. Mendoza had anything to do with his upset. A simple instruction from Your Honor that the outburst was connected to events in the Detective's life outside of the scope of this trial should suffice."

Judge McKellen looked expectantly at the defense attorney, who just shrugged. Then she said, "Sounds good to me, Ms. Cabot."

Alex gave Webber a smug smile. _That's two._

The attorneys returned to their tables, and the judge turned to the jury and neatly paraphrased Alex's words. "The jury is to disregard Detective Stabler's outburst prior to the recess. His concern for his family was regarding events that had no bearing on this case, and should not factor into your deliberations at the end of the trial." Turning to the defense attorney then, she said, "Mr. Webber?"

Once more Webber rose from his seat. Slowly, his gaze directed at the detective, he approached the witness stand. The hint of a smug smile played around his lips. For a few seconds the attorney just stood in front of the stand, looking right into Elliot's sapphire eyes which were tempted to avoid his stare. Then he started to speak.

"Detective Stabler… you've been a police officer for 16 years, and served 8 years as a detective in the special victims unit, is that correct?"

"Yes," Elliot answered automatically. This question surprised him. Where would it lead to? Still it just seemed to aim at stating simple facts.

"And you are a Detective 1st grade, which is the highest detective grade attainable in the NYPD, is that correct?"

"Yes." Another fact.

"You have multiple letters of commendation in your file for heroic efforts on numerous cases, as well, correct?"

"Yes, but any cases I have solved have been a team effort," Elliot said shakily, now wondering nervously what the man was up to. There was something in Webber's demeanor that put him on guard. Or was it just because he was the defense attorney, the one who was supposed to try and save his client from jail? Elliot might have been tarnished, but his cop instincts could not simply be turned off.

"Ah, how nice, so we know you're humble, too," Webber said snarkily.

"Objection, Your Honor," Alex said, and her stomach fluttered with nerves. She had hoped her objection would help Elliot by sparing him Webber's mocking, but she could tell by the sudden tension in his jaw and the whiteness of his knuckles as he grabbed the rail beside the witness stand that it had only frightened him more because he had picked up on the fact that she thought there was something wrong with what Webber was doing. She had told Elliot that, now that Mendoza had no hold over him, the defense lawyer would just end his questioning. The fact that he had not, meant he was up to something she had not foreseen.

"Withdrawn," the defense attorney said complacently before the judge could rule, and moving on with his questions, he addressed Elliot again. "And you have also recently been chosen as your unit's ViCAP liaison with the FBI, haven't you?"

"Objection!" Alex protested, now getting the strong impression that Webber was up to something. "What does any of Detective Stabler's work history have to do with his testimony regarding whether he witnessed the defendants shooting at his colleagues?"

"A little leeway, Your Honor?" Webber requested.

Alex could have sworn that he winked at the judge. She had to be mistaken. He would not be that audacious.

"Very little, Mr. Webber," the judge said. "The witness will answer the question."

"Yes, I have been the SVU ViCAP liason since September," Elliot replied.

"And what does ViCAP stand for?" Webber asked.

"Your Honor!" Alex objected again. _Can Webber ruin my strategy? What's he aiming at? Does he know something I don't?_

"I'll be there in three more questions, including this one, Your Honor," Webber said.

Webber was eating up time, which was good for Alex's cause, but he was also stressing Elliot out even more by going off on a tangent no one had foreseen. If Elliot was incoherent by the time she got her chance to redirect, she did not know what she would do.

"The witness will answer," the judge decided, her curious tone suggesting that she just wanted to see where Webber was going.

Alex felt slightly uncomfortable in her skin. She was still trying to figure out what Webber was up to. Unfortunately, if his questions led the jury to an acquittal, she would not get another chance to prosecute.

"ViCAP, Detective?" Webber pushed, deliberately leaning forward on the rail of the witness box, invading the space that certainly was Elliot's safety zone.

For a moment, Alex's gut clenched as she saw him lean back into his seat, but not to make himself more comfortable. He rather tried to escape. Even more disturbing was the blank look followed by a panicked expression which came over Elliot's face. _My God! He's forgotten what it means and now he's going to fall apart,_ she thought. For a second she was close to panic, too, but then, even before she could decide whether to object to Webber's invasion of Elliot's personal space, intelligence lit the detective's eyes again and she breathed a sigh of relief.

"Violent Criminal Apprehension Program," he said.

Still Alex did not want Webber to get away with his behavior. Attorneys were supposed to keep their distance to the witnesses. And she was confident that she could make Webber back up without panicking Elliot further.

Standing up, she requested, "Would Your Honor please remind Mr. Webber that the rail in front of the stand is there specifically to prevent him from invading Detective Stabler's personal space? Leaning across it is not only inappropriate but also rude, particularly if he still has coffee breath from breakfast."

The coffee breath comment elicited a small laugh from the crowd and Alex saw Webber's spine stiffen at being mocked.

"Back it up, Mr. Webber," the judge admonished him.

Grudgingly Webber obeyed taking his arm off the rail, but Elliot did not seem to relax at all.

"So, you've built yourself quite a reputation for being very good at an extremely stressful job over the years, haven't you detective?" There was an underlying aggressiveness in his voice.

Elliot shrugged. Praise always made him uncomfortable. If this _was_ praise. Still, he was not as relaxed as his gesture might make believe and it was audible in his shaky voice when he answered, "I… I suppose so."

"There's that charming humility again," Webber muttered.

Even the single word sent chills down Elliot's spine. Humility. It sounded too much like humiliation and that was what he had felt too often for the last two days. His subconscious made the connection and he automatically flinched back a fraction. If Webber did it on purpose Elliot could not tell, but he sure as hell felt the effect wave through his body.

"Objection!" Alex snapped, fuming.

"Withdrawn," Webber said smugly.

"Make another objectionable comment that you have to take back, and I will hold you in contempt, Mr. Webber," the judge warned him. "Now get on with your questioning."

If the circumstances weren't so serious, Alex would have allowed herself a smug smile now, but Webber still made her nervous. Whatever he was up to… she would find out now.

"Do you think, Detective, that the strain of maintaining your reputation plus the stress of the job and the pressure to get the men who shot at your colleagues, wounding one of them, could have been enough to make you mistakenly arrest the wrong men?"

Alex held her breath, looking at her witness intently. She could tell by the set of his jaw and the narrowing of his eyes that he suddenly was pissed off. Even though she did not know the details of what Elliot had been through, she could tell that all of Webber's talk of stress and strain had lit his fuse. As he leaned menacingly toward the defense attorney, half of her wanted to laugh when the little weasel moved back a step while the other half sent up a desperate prayer that Elliot would not lose his temper and cause a mistrial by beating the shit out of him.

"Absolutely not," Elliot said firmly and evenly.

Relieved Alex let out a breath she did not know she had been holding.

"So, you've never arrested the wrong person?" Webber pressed.

Alex's stomach twisted once more when she saw how confident of victory Webber was. The blank fear appearing in Elliot's eyes again did nothing to soothe her nerves. Their gazes met and she knew what he was thinking. How the hell should he answer that? It happened once in a while, but not without good reason. She tried her hardest to encourage him with a look, but now he was totally on his own.

Elliot's gaze was resting on the assistant district attorney now. He saw her subtly mime taking a deep breath. _Good idea. Hope it'll help…_ He breathed deeply, lowered his eyes and gave himself a moment to think. _There has to be an answer that will serve his question but won't compromise the case…_When he looked up, again, he had found a small measure of confidence.

"Sometimes, yes, we do mistakenly arrest the wrong person, but only when the evidence is misleading," he explained. "That did not happen in this case."

Sitting up a little straighter, he looked directly at the defendants and said firmly, "I _saw_ Mr. Mendoza and Mr. Domingo firing on my colleagues, and I _saw_ them throw the guns down. Whatever else I may have said up here, _that is the truth._"

The courtroom went so silent Alex would have sworn she could hear the paint peeling. Webber looked at his client who was giving him a malevolent glare. He looked at the witness who still appeared shaken but was obviously not nearly as upset as he had been before the interruption. He had no direct knowledge of any crime, but he had no doubt either that his client had somehow been influencing the detective's testimony and had now lost that influence.

"I have no further questions for this witness," he finally said defeatedly, and made a mental note to update his life insurance policy.

_That's three_, Alex thought with a mental sigh, cheering for Elliot as she did. _It just took a little longer to get there than I thought it would._

"Do you wish to redirect, Ms. Cabot?" the judge asked.

"Yes, Your Honor," Alex said, trying not to sound too excited as she got to her feet and approached her witness one last time. "Detective Stabler, is it now your testimony that what you said on direct examination was false and that the report that you wrote for Captain Cragen was true?"

"Yes."

"So just for clarification, it is now your testimony that you _did_ see the defendants shooting at your colleagues, wounding detective Benson, and that you _did_ see them throw down their guns as they fled the scene?"

"Yes."

"Thank you, Detective," she said with a smile. "No further questions."

Judge McKellen looked down at Elliot from the bench and said, "You are dismissed, Detective." Elliot practically sprinted to the railing separating the audience from the court and shot through the gate before the judge finished the word dismissed. "Ms. Cabot?" she said, looking at Alex.

"Your Honor, the prosecution rests." _That's four._

And that was when everything went haywire.

tbc…

A/N: So, the trial is almost over. I'm not so sure if the story will be, too. LOL As I thought in the beginning that it might be 10 - 15 chapters long I don't want to estimate the story's length now in ch 40. LOL So far your opinions, comments or suggestions were quite inspiring. So, maybe you'll keep me going. ;) Thanks for reading. :)


	41. Chapter 41

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. It's so great to see you refer to details of the chapter and speculate about what may happen next. Makes me happy. :D Thanks again. Enjoy!

**41**

**Manhattan**

**Criminal Court**

**100 Centre Street**

Elliot was right behind the gate in the banister, waiting for the girls to file out of the first row of seats. He was waiting anxiously and had no ear for whatever Alex was saying right behind him. All he wanted was to get out of here, meet Kathy and Dickie as soon as they arrived with the chopper and head home.

_Home!_

_I can't go home!_ Panic hit him. _No way can I go back there! No, no, no!_

How the malicious voice reached his mind, he could not tell, but it did and the vicious words it carried stabbed him right into the heart.

"You think you're safe now?"

Elliot froze. His insides constricted so fast and so hard that the air was pressed out of his lungs and he gasped for breath but only his mouth opened. He could not breathe. Everything around him seemed to fade and only these five words rang in his ears over and over again.

He was not even sure if he really had heard them or if they just were an illusion created by the stress… until they were repeated.

This time he was sure.

Dead silence fell over the courtroom. Webber closed his eyes and did not move. There was nothing left for him to do given his client's judicial suicide. Alex stood at her table and was as shocked as everyone else. Everyone was waiting for what would happen next.

Like in slow motion Elliot turned around, his eyes glassy until he spotted Mendoza and focused on him. For two seemingly endless seconds the two men stared into each other's eyes, Elliot's blue ones turning as cold as the icy blue of a melt water pot on a glacier. In his neck his muscles were standing out as he clenched his jaws and bared his teeth.

"You son of a bitch!" he exploded, jumping forward. "If you or your men do as much as come close to my family again I'll kill you! Got that, asswipe?! I'll kill you!"

Leaping out of his chair, Mendoza was screaming, too, but in Spanish. Bailiffs appeared at his side and held him back when he tried to attack the detective. They dragged him backwards and out of the courtroom.

Elliot was squirming, writhing, fighting against the hands which had grabbed and held on to him. All he wanted was revenge and one of the men responsible for so much pain was right in front of him, mocking him. He yearned to smash Mendoza's head into the next wall or the floor, break his nose and every single one of his other bones.

But he could not get to him and so Elliot cried out his rage and pain.

He reared up in the tight grip of at least four people. They held his arms, shoulders and waist and were pulling him backwards toward the exit to the hall.

Olivia just could avoid being hit by his elbow when he struggled against her. Cragen struggled to keep his arm around his waist. The man beside him was fighting with the detective's left arm and there was another man who tried to help Olivia.

Between these four and Huang who approached from the front, rather gently shoving him back, Elliot was hauled out of the courtroom, fighting them tooth and nail. He still was screaming like a banshee. Kicking for his captors he hit the doors as they swung shut. Elliot was bucking and rearing, trying desperately to get away and in his mind the situations mingled and he was back in his house, forced into obedience by the hostage takers.

"Noooooooooo!" he screamed, his voice so high pitched that Olivia could have sworn she saw the window panes vibrate.

Huang saw sheer panic light up the detective's eyes. He could imagine that the way he was held sent him into a downright panic attack… and was proven right when Elliot gasped for breath. The people holding him had no way to tell from the struggles that the motive for the resistance changed. Huang had to intervene.

"Let him go!" he ordered. "Let go of him!"

Stunned the others stared at the psychiatrist first, then reluctantly took their hands off the detective.

Elliot stumbled forward, clutching his chest. When he staggered Olivia jumped forward to support him. This time he grabbed for her in return. His eyes were wide as was his mouth. He was gasping for air he could not get into his lungs and his fingers dug into her flesh in terror.

"Elliot?" she panted. "What's wrong, honey? El? Talk to me!"

But her partner could not talk. He could not even breathe. Right there where they were standing he broke down on his knees and Olivia lowered him on the ground.

"He can't breathe!" she yelled.

In the same second Huang was beside them, a syringe in his hand. He jammed it into Elliot's flesh and emptied it.

For a few scary moments Elliot lost consciousness, but the drug relaxed him enough that he could breathe again. Olivia shifted her position so that she could place his head on her thighs. When he woke up he was looking around confused. Then he saw a familiar face, smiling down at him from an odd angle.

"Olivia?" he croaked.

"Yeah, El, I'm here," she whispered, smoothing one hand over his forehead and hair, resting the other on his cheek. "You're safe now. It's okay. Relax." She felt the urge to add these words because she felt him tense up already.

"Dad?" Elizabeth whined, sitting down beside him on the floor.

At once Elliot focused on her.

"Awww, come here, baby," he said, reaching out for her and pulling her down because he became dizzy as soon as he tried to rise off Olivia's lap. So he hugged his daughter while he lay on the floor.

"I've called for a bus," Huang said. "We could take him to the lounge down the hall until the paramedics arrive. A couch would be much more comfortable."

Olivia looked up at the psychiatrist. She knew he was right. Still it disturbed her to know that her partner needed to be taken to the hospital even though his physical injuries were minor.

Together with Cragen she managed to get Elliot to stand up. Supporting him on both sides they guided him to the lounge where Olivia sat down with him on the sofa. Fortunately the room was deserted when they came in, so they could maintain some degree of privacy.

"Come, El, lay down," she tried to coax him and was surprised by the vehemence of his resistance. _On second thought,_ she realized, _it's not surprising at all. I've seen how they forced him to the floor, bound him to the furniture to hold him there, spread eagled._ She choked back her tears, not wanting him to see them.

But she did not have to fear that. Elliot was way too busy hugging his daughters. While Olivia sat to his right, Maureen knelt on his left side, her head on his shoulder in the curve of his neck. Her younger sisters climbed his lap and snuggled up to him. When Elliot wrapped his arms around them to hug them tight a smile cracked his features.

xxx

**Downtown Manhattan Heliport**

The chopper landed softly on the former pier and the pilot informed them that they now could unbuckle their seatbelts.

"Okay, Kathy," Fin said. "There must be a car waiting for us. Come with me."

He helped her and Dickie out, and instinctively ducking down under the rotors they strode towards the edge of the maneuvering area. Dickie still stayed away from Bobby and even Fin appeared to be menacing to him. Right then one of the squad's Fords passed the gate and stopped in front of the small group.

"I don't have to go with you," Bobby said, knowing quite well that he unintentionally scared the boy. "Get them to the court house. We'll talk later."

"Okay," Fin agreed with his former partner. "Thanks, Bobby."

"Never mind. Go!"

So they climbed into the Crown Victoria and the junior detective behind the steering wheel turned it around. As they left the heliport another car pulled up and Fin saw Alex Eames driving, coming to pick up her partner.

Even as the distance to the court was not very far the ride seemed to be as endless as the flight in the chopper. Kathy yearned to see and hug Elliot and their daughters. She clung to her son as much as he clung to her, giving and receiving a feeling of security.

Fin was on the phone but once more nobody was answering his calls. Shrugging he put the cell back into his jacket.

"They'll be in the courtroom," he said. "No need to worry. We're almost there."

Kathy hoped and prayed that he was right. After all they had gone through during the last two days it would be devastating if something bad would happen just now.

Not a second after the Ford stopped at the curb in front of the court building all three of them jumped out and ran up the stairs. A security guard at the entrance eyed them skeptically as they rushed towards the door, his suspicion fuelled by their battered appearance. Fin flashed his badge.

"We're late for a trial," he barked.

They rushed in but their run was stopped by the metal detectors. It did not take long to be checked and cleared, but in their situation the duration of the stop felt like forever. Once inside they sprinted down the halls in search for the right courtroom and met another member of the special victims unit.

"They're over there in the lounge," a junior detective said to Fin before he could reach for the courtroom's doorknob or ask any questions. Cragen knew Kathy and Dickie would be desperate to see Elliot and the girls and did not want to prolong their anxiety any longer, so he had asked the young woman to wait for them to arrive and send them directly to the lounge.

xxx

**Manhattan**

**Criminal Court**

**100 Centre Street**

Cragen watched the scene in silence. Slowly his stomach settled down again. The adrenalin ebbed away and he could breathe more easily.

Elliot was safe.

The SVU captain wanted to believe that, but even in the peaceful moment as he was watching his detectives and the three girls he knew that it was not entirely true. Enrique Mendoza still was on the run. As long as he was not caught none of the Stablers would be safe.

When Cragen sighed Olivia looked up at him. Their eyes met and by her slight grimace he could tell that she knew what he was thinking.

_Damn!_

He did not like his thought. He did not like the idea that Elliot and his family still had to be cautious. He hated that the guy who had tortured this man, who was like the son he never had, could not be arrested. He abhorred the very thought that Mendoza might be back for him.

Olivia shared her captain's feelings. Even though Elliot's breaths had evened out she still could feel tremors running through his body. She suspected that he tried to put up the tough façade again for his girls' sake, not realizing that they knew that he was hurting, too.

And George Huang was astonished by the fact that Elliot still was so tense even after he had given him something to relax. _He'll need a lot of counseling,_ he thought. _Every one of them will need it. They can't cope with these events on their own. And neither can detective Munch._

Suddenly the door flew open and with an excited _Daddy_-scream Dickie rushed into the group hug. His appearance elicited renewed outcries from his father and siblings who welcomed him in the embrace. Elliot virtually was buried under his kids but did not seem to mind one bit. When he had embarrassed Dickie with kisses on his forehead he looked up. Once more tears were brimming his eyes.

Olivia knew that as much as she wanted to comfort her partner this was not the right time or situation. Smiling up at Kathy she rose from the couch to make room for her at his side. She got a grateful smile in return when they passed each other.

Kathy dropped down on the sofa and at once Elliot let go of Kathleen to pull her into their embrace, too. All of them were crying as they realized that they all were back together.

For a moment Olivia could not help but watch, but then she turned away to give them some privacy. Fin stood right at the door, uncertain what to do. Cragen relieved him of a decision by asking him for a short report and Fin started to tell him what happened up at Adirondack State Park.

Olivia glanced at Huang and decided to talk with him.

"Doc?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yes, Olivia?" His calm voice almost gave the impression that he was untouched by the emotional scene.

"What happened? I thought he was having a heart attack."

"It was a panic attack," the psychiatrist explained. "It can cause the same symptoms as a heart attack." He looked at her thoughtfully. "And it's just as scary."

"Yes, it scared me," she admitted. "Who wouldn't be scared… It's just… it hurts to see him like that. It is as if they would have taken his pride and self-confidence."

"In a way they have."

"I hate that thought."

"I know," Huang murmured, showing first signs of actual compassion. Watching Elliot and his family he thought about what kind of support and therapy they would most likely need. Elliot's emotional wounds reached deep if they could trigger such a full-blown panic attack. The girls were surprisingly composed. Actually they all were except for Elliot. Based on his experience Huang anticipated them to show first symptoms soon once the actual stress subsided.

"I never would have expected that he would suffer such a strong reaction," Olivia murmured so that only Huang could hear her. "He was enraged when Mendoza threatened him once more, he fought like a maniac to get to him… why did he break down like that?"

"Lack of stress," Huang told her matter of factly. "I know that it sounds weird. He was under constant strain for two days. The sudden loss of this tension led to the attack."

"That's possible?" Olivia knew stress like she experienced it during her work and the effects an assault could have on a victim, but that the sudden relief of stress could cause a life threatening attack was news to her.

"Imagine a rubber band," Huang said. "If you stretch it, it becomes taut and you have to release it slowly because it would snap back otherwise."

Slowly Olivia nodded. This was something she could picture.

Movement at the door caught her attention. Two paramedics entered the lounge which suddenly became over full. Without being asked Cragen and Fin made room for them.

"Who can tell us what happened?" asked one of the men while his colleague went straight to the group on the couch.

"Doctor Huang," he introduced himself. "I provided first-aid."

Then he told him the name of the sedative he had given Elliot. Olivia watched him join the ambulance officers tending to Elliot and Kathy first. She heard them talk about the hospital and not much later one of the men left to get the stretcher and called a second bus.

The other attendant got a plastic bag out of his case. While he was fumbling with it and a few other things Elliot watched him suspiciously.

"What are you up to?" Elliot whined… and bit his tongue as he heard himself.

"They're just giving you some fluids," Huang explained to him. "You're dehydrated. You certainly did not drink enough during the last two days and you threw up. You'll feel better when it's started."

Violently Elliot shook his head and reached out for Kathy who had left his side to be with the kids. At once she took his outstretched hand and dropped down on the couch beside him.

"It's okay. I'm here."

"I don't want that," Elliot complained. "Don't."

"Elliot, it's just a quick pinch. It's done in a second," Huang tried to encourage him, reaching for his hand on Kathy's shoulder.

"No!" Elliot yelled and jerked his hand back.

"It's necessary," Huang insisted gently. "C'mon, Elliot."

But the detective would have none of it. He pulled his wife closer, clawing at her clothes with one hand and burying the other in her hair.

"Can you help me?" Huang turned to the paramedic.

"To do what?" he asked back. "We can't just force him." He did not like the look he got from Huang. "I won't do it, sir. I thought he already got diazepam."

"Yeah, he did," Huang murmured. Even though he knew part of what Elliot had gone through it surprised him that the detective was still so frantic.

The second attendant came back together with the driver of the ambulance and the stretcher and stood in the open door to the lounge.

"It would be best if you all could leave us alone," the medic said, turning to the cops. "Can one of you take care of the children and wait outside?"

"I can do that," Olivia offered and invitingly held out her hands to them. "Come with me. Give your parents some space."

Only reluctantly the four kids followed her and Cragen out to the hall.

"What's wrong with Dad?" Lizzie sobbed. "I want to be with him and Mom."

"You will be soon, but right now the paramedics need to take care of them, okay? They'll be here in a few minutes."

Inside the paramedic looked sternly at Huang and said, "You could tend to the children, Dr. Huang."

Frowning, the psychiatrist retreated, too. Now the second medic went in with the stretcher.

"Detective?" the first paramedic addressed Elliot. "I'm Ian McGregor, you can call me Ian." He waited a moment until Elliot glanced at him. "May I call you Elliot?"

One moment of hesitation passed, then Elliot mumbled into Kathy's hair, "Yeah."

"Okay, Elliot. I'd like you to just come over here and sit on the stretcher. Can you do that?"

Sniffling Elliot let go of his wife. Grimacing he eyed the gurney.

"Come on, El. You can do that," Kathy encouraged him.

Her gentle urging finally made him move. As soon as he was standing he felt how weak his knees were and he started to shake. Kathy helped him to turn, and when he sat down on the stretcher his muscles were hard with tension. Still he held her hand in a bone crushing grip.

"Shhh, it's okay. Relax."

Gently nudging his shoulders she tried to coax him to lie down on the gurney. Elliot grew more agitated by the minute. Clearly Kathy could see the fear in his eyes.

"It's okay, Elliot. Sh. Ian just wants to help you. We're still at court. You won't get hurt here."

But her husband resisted her urging.

"Can't we just try it?" Ian said and reached for Elliot, too, to guide him down on the stretcher. It was not a hard grip, but simply the sudden movement backwards was too much.

"Noooo!" Elliot screamed, instinctively defending himself. "Let go!"

"Ouch!"

Ian was hit by Elliot's fist and backed off. Eyeing the struggling man he gestured his partner to stay off of Elliot

Kathy rubbed the back of his neck as he clung to her again in terror. "He's just scared!" she said. "Give us a moment!"

"Sure."

Ian backed off a bit to give them space, too. He watched as Kathy continued to soothe her husband, murmuring reassurances in his ear and rubbing neck and back while he hung on to her for dear life. _What must have happened to a guy like him to make him that scared,_ Ian wondered. _As a detective he's certainly been in all kind of ticklish situations before._

Little by little Elliot began to relax his tight grip on Kathy. His breathing was not as strained as before, so Ian decided to make another attempt.

"Ok, Detective, we can't leave until you lie down and let me strap you in," Ian explained kindly as he tried to get Elliot's attention. When the detective looked up at him he gently took his upper arms and ever so slowly tried to push Elliot down on the stretcher, but the detective just tensed up so that it was impossible to move him without using force.

"Sh, Elliot," Kathy murmured. "You're safe now. Calm down. No one will hurt you. Sh."

Ian smiled compassionately. "I can adjust the stretcher a bit more upright… Will that help?" Seeing Kathy nod he did just that.

"Kathy's right, Elliot," Ian said. "I won't hurt you. Everything will be alright."

The man's agitation was all that kept him going. Ian was sure that he would not get far if he actually let go of his fears and tried to walk away.

"I… um… is that really necessary?" Elliot mumbled. "Why can't we… just go."

It was as if he would have read Ian's thoughts and the paramedic smiled encouragingly.

"Well, I'll support you if you want to try."

A grateful, yet tentative smile played around Elliot's lips. Taking the offered hand he got up from the stretcher, made an uncertain step forward… and dropped back down on the gurney.

Ian saw Elliot's features crumple. He could almost feel the defeat that overwhelmed the detective.

"What…?" Elliot moaned, clearly confused.

"Hey, it's okay," Ian reassured him. "That's why we're here, okay? To help you." His words did not have the desired effect. Instead Elliot tensed up again. "I moved the end up. You don't have to lie down flat. It's comfortable."

Looking at the inviting smile of the medic did not really soothe Elliot's fears. That he had not been able to just walk out on his own scared him even more. In his agitation he did not realize that two days of constant terror took their toll on him. Besides having had a full blown panic attack he was dead tired. He had not eaten regularly and yes, he did not drink enough, either. His reserves combined with adrenalin had been enough to get him through his testimony, but now Elliot simply was too exhausted.

Suddenly he started to shake and he was not up to offer much resistance when Kathy lightly urged him to lean back and helped him lift his legs up on the stretcher. That he could lie down in a slightly sitting position made it a bit easier to relax, but only slowly he entrusted himself to the care of Kathy and Ian. Then the latter grabbed for the straps, intending to secure him to the gurney.

"Nooo," Elliot moaned, about to freak out again.

"Can't we keep the straps off?" Kathy wanted to know.

"Sorry, Ma'am," Ian murmured, then he turned to his patient. "It's a necessary precaution. It won't hurt you."

_That's only part of the problem,_ Kathy thought. _He's not just scared of being hurt. I'm sure that any means to subdue him will have the same effect._ "I could do it," she offered. "Would that be okay?"

"Sure."

"Elliot? Is it okay if I buckle you up for the ride?" Encouragingly she smiled at him. By his play of features she could tell that he was thinking hard about her question. "Elliot?"

Grabbing her hand and arm more firmly he stared directly into her eyes. Her compassionate look and smile did not fail their effect. Drawing his bottom lip in and chewing on it he finally nodded, but only let go of her reluctantly.

Cautiously Kathy reached for the straps and closed them over his chest. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed that Ian moved, too.

Elliot saw him clearly and stared at him out of widening eyes. He clenched his fists and gnashed his teeth. When the other straps were closed over his lower legs he sucked in a sharp breath and took hold of Kathy's arm again.

Proudly she smiled at him. "See? It's okay. You won't get hurt."

"I know," he pressed through gritted teeth. "But I'm still scared."

Kathy just smiled and smoothed her free hand over his short hair. She was almost shaking herself, feeling her own exhaustion. There was nothing she would have liked more to do than to be hugged by Elliot and be the one who received the comfort. Instead she once more had to be the strong one. Taking a deep breath she steadied herself again.

"Okay, Elliot," Ian murmured. "That was not so difficult, right? Do you think we could try with the IV again?" He glanced at his colleague who stayed in the background. Understanding the unspoken question he got the bag of fluids back out and prepared the IV.

"I don't want to," Elliot moaned.

"I know, Elliot," Ian said compassionately, taking one more step closer to his patient so that he blocked Elliot's view of the other attendant. "But I promise that I'll be careful. Okay?"

Skeptically Elliot looked up at him. Then he shook his head no.

"Oh, well, it could help, you know…" Ian smiled. "What is it that scares you?"

"'e n-needle," Elliot croaked.

"That? You won't even feel it."

"That's… not…" his voice faltered. Shortly but violently he shook his head to get rid of the memories, but they would not vanish.

"That's not what you meant?" Ian provided.

"Hm hmmm."

Slowly the paramedic nodded. He only had heard bits about what had happened to the man.

"What makes you so afraid, Elliot?" he asked softly, but with an urgency that made Elliot focus on him. Still holding on to Kathy strongly he now concentrated on Ian. "If you tell me I can help you," the medic said.

"He… d-drugged me," Elliot admitted in a small voice. Shame colored his cheeks red.

Questioningly Ian looked at Kathy. When she noticed that he expected her to fill in the blanks she cringed. She did not know what the man who called himself Barry had done to her husband. She just could assume that it had been him who Elliot was talking about.

"I guess he means the man who held us hostage," she disclosed.

"Kathy," Elliot moaned. _Why did she have to tell this guy? It's none of his business_.

The medics were stunned, but Ian did his best to act as if he was not affected by that news. Still, he was wondering why the man might have drugged Elliot. _Certainly to subdue him._ _He'll need some serious counseling._

Crouching down beside his patient, he placed a hand on Elliot's arm, not to pull him away from Kathy or to guide him to do something, just to provide some comforting human contact, and he asked, "Do you know what he gave you, Elliot? Can you remember when?"

Grimacing Elliot choked on his memories.

"S-Sunday night," he stammered quietly. "I… I don't know…"

"You don't know what it was," Ian continued and got a small nod in return. "Okay. Can you tell me what it did to you?"

This question seemed to pain him even more than to admit that he was drugged in the first place. It looked as if he saw whatever had happened to him then as personal defeat.

"It… it k-knocked… me out," Elliot stuttered barely audible. "I d-don't know… what they did then."

"I see," Ian said thoughtfully, and then he asked, "And are you afraid now that I will give you something to incapacitate you? Is that it? Are you scared that you'll be helpless?"

Elliot's face puckered into a frown, and for just a moment, Ian thought he was going to cry. Then he nodded.

"Okay, Elliot," Ian said, slowly reaching for his left hand which was firmly wrapped around Kathy's upper arm. "I want you to listen to me. I promise you that there are just fluids in the IV. No drugs. All we want to do is rehydrate you. You'll never lose control. Understand?"

Elliot swallowed and started to chew his bottom lip again. Kathy watched both men and decided not to intervene. She liked how Ian was treating Elliot and sensed that her husband might give in if he was nudged just a little more.

"Supplying you with fluids also will reduce your anxiety," Ian explained, "You see, part of the reason you're so anxious is that you're just not feeling very well. Your body already is alerted because it's lacking water so it shut down when you had the panic attack. It could not keep up with you. Rehydrating you will make you feel better physically, and that will help you relax a little more."

Frowning deeply Elliot stared at Ian.

"Sounds worse than it is," the medic warded off. "So… did you understand what I told you?"

Another moment of silence followed. Finally, Elliot nodded.

"Good," Ian smiled encouragingly. "Now, do I have permission to start this IV?"

"I… um…"

"Again, it's just to rehydrate you and there are no drugs in it," Ian reminded him before he could refuse. "Can we do that?"

Different emotions played on Elliot's features. Could he do that? He believed Ian, but still he could not just ignore his fears. They clawed at his heart and stomach and made his insides constrict painfully.

Finally, Elliot surrendered, at least verbally. "Yeah, I… guess so."

"Okay, great. Just relax. There's no need to be scared." Ian gently opened Elliot's grip and took his hand. Stroking the back of the knuckles with his thumb he guided it down. "We don't have to put the needle in the crook of your arm," Ian explained. "We can put it in your hand, instead. Then you still can reach out for anything. Okay?"

Grimacing, Elliot moaned. It was embarrassing to be out of control of his reactions and that made everything worse. He felt his fear build up again and knew that he was about to jerk his arm back just once more.

"You're doing fine, Elliot," Ian praised, watching him closely. Elliot followed his every move with his eyes, wide, stunning blue, scared eyes. Gently teasing the fingers to open he laid the hand flat on the stretcher. Caressing it he searched for a vein.

"I understand that you were under a lot of stress these past few days, right?" Ian asked.

He gave Elliot a moment to respond, but continued talking when he got no reply. "I suppose if he was able to drug you against your will, you didn't have a whole lot of say in what was happening, did you?"

_What an understatement!_ Elliot felt his heart skip a beat, but the remark was not enough to set off more anxious reactions. He understood that Ian was just trying to find out how to deal with him.

Patiently Ian waited for an answer that never came, but he could feel Elliot watching him as he prodded the back of his hand, still looking for a good vein to take the IV.

"That's _not_ going to happen now, Elliot," he promised. "I want you to know that, okay. I won't force it on you. As long as you can keep talking to me, I won't do anything without your permission, okay?"

Again he paused, and this time, he was rewarded with a soft, "Okay."

Slightly smiling to himself Ian told him, "You know, under the circumstances you're really doing great."

Ian glanced up at his patient's wife, and when Kathy twitched her eyebrows at him, he knew he was getting through to Elliot. Actually he had found a good vein several moments ago, but he was taking his time, stroking the back of Elliot's hand, and talking soothingly to help him relax.

"You can be proud of yourself, Elliot. After what you've been through, I imagine it must be very difficult to lie there and let us tend to you this way."

In the same moment that the words left his mouth he knew that that was the wrong thing to say, and Ian silently cursed himself as he heard Elliot's breathing accelerate. When he glanced up at his face the nostrils were flaring, and the wide opened blue eyes glared down at what he was doing.

Knowing that he had to get the IV started before Elliot freaked out again Ian decided to change his conversational approach and get the IV going quickly.

"It takes a lot of balls to fight your fears and let us do this so soon after what you've been through," he praised. "I think it's admirable."

Elliot snorted.

And Ian felt his resistance build up again. Elliot was on the verge of wrenching himself free of his grip. The tightening muscles prevented him from finding a vein and even if he did he might hurt Elliot when he tried to insert the needle for the IV. And that was not necessary.

"What? Don't tell me you want to chicken out now and change your mind!" Ian said in disbelief.

Elliot bristled at the comment. Thinking hard about a sharp reply and gasping for air he was too busy to think of his hand, too.

"Ouch!" he snapped and jumped against the straps of the gurney, but Ian held his hand firmly to keep the needle from jostling free while his colleague secured the IV with tape.

Finding himself restricted by the gurney straps once again set Elliot's heart racing and he struggled slightly, which made him still more aware of the fact that he was strapped down. Whimpering slightly he squirmed once more.

"Elliot!" Ian barked his name, breaking the vicious cycle before his patient could get too upset.

"What?" Elliot groaned. Looking up he met a genuine smile.

"That's it," Ian said gently. "And? Did I hurt you?"

"Why do you think I said _ouch_?" Elliot grumbled.

"Don't kid me. I'm sure you didn't even notice!"

"Well, I did notice!" Frowning deeply Elliot wondered why Ian was grinning that smugly. "Stop grinning like that."

"Why?"

Elliot opened his mouth to respond, but closed it again as he could not come up with anything. Frowning deeply he snorted.

Ian laughed goodheartedly, and played around at checking his pulse and blood pressure again. It was not really necessary, but he knew Elliot was struggling to deal with more than just the little pinch of the IV needle piercing his skin. He wanted to give his patient a few more moments to calm down.

After recording his observations, Ian shook out a soft blanket his partner had provided and used it to cover Elliot. He took care to slide it under his hands and forearms so that Elliot was free to reach out for his wife or his kids when he saw them again. He knew covering him completely would only make him feel more restricted and increase his anxiety. Elliot did not appear to be injured at all, but he was still frightened enough that he might require medical attention for his anxiety alone if they were not careful how they handled him.

Finally satisfied that his patient was properly secured for the transport but not so restrained that he would become overly agitated on the trip to the hospital, Ian patted his ankle and said, "Ok, Elliot, just try and relax and we can get you out of here."

That just was the wrong remark, and Ian knew it immediately when he saw Elliot's blush a deep red as his eyes widened slightly at the thought of having to be carried out on a stretcher.

"Hey, no need to be embarrassed," Ian said comfortingly. "What would you do if you were shot, huh?"

"But I'm not shot!" Elliot grumbled.

"Never mind…" Ian bent down to him and winked conspiratorially. "I won't tell anyone."

Elliot gave him a sarcastic smirk and Kathy chuckled softly.

"C'mon, Elliot," Ian coaxed. "Just lay back and relax." To emphasize his words he laid his hand on Elliot's forehead. At first the detective tried to shake him off, but after a few moments he actually granted him the contact.

"It's okay, Elliot," Ian soothed. "Just concentrate on the warmth. Is that comfortable?"

To his own surprise Elliot realized that it was. So he did not resist when Ian carefully shoved his other hand between the stretcher and the back of his head. Being held in this position was astonishingly relaxing.

"Imagine something you like to do in your spare time. What do you like? Going to the beach maybe?"

"Hm hmmm."

"Is someone there with you?"

"M-my family."

"What are you doing?"

A grin crept on Elliot's features. "Playing volleyball," he said.

Kathy watched with amazement. She had no idea why Ian did what he did, but it seemed to help, just like it helped when she caressed the back of his neck right at the base of the head, and she was impressed by the paramedic's insight and willingness to take his time and treat Elliot with so much consideration.

Elliot found it increasingly difficult to keep his eyes open. Blinking several times he finally had to give in to his exhaustion. His breathing was low and steady and by the looks of it he was asleep.

Kathy smiled at Ian gratefully and asked, "What did you do?"

"A _trick_ I learned from my sister," he said. "She's a dentist, but also into alternative medicine. That includes kinesiology which her husband practices, working closely with her. If they weren't so successful with their anxiety patients I wouldn't believe that it works."

"Well, obviously it does," Kathy murmured, looking at her husband. She also felt more at ease now. "Thank you, Ian."

He smiled at her. "You're welcome." Then he turned to his partner and said quietly, "Okay, let's go."

His colleague opened the door and together they pushed the stretcher out. Kathy followed them out, and in the hall, she moved to Elliot's side right away, getting there to take his hand just in case, because he opened his eyes again.

"Dad?" Dickie whined. "You okay?"

"Yeah, he is, little man," Ian reassured him and ruffled his hair. "He just needs some rest. Come on. We'll go to the ambulance."

As the paramedics pushed Elliot down the hall on the stretcher, Kathy always at his side and the kids in their wake, Olivia followed suit.

"I'm coming with you, okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, Olivia, thank you," Kathy replied while Elliot remained silent. He did not even look at his partner. As he could not stand to keep his eyes closed he stared at the ceiling, watching it rush by. Still walking Kathy leaned a bit over to Olivia and whispered urgently. "Can we talk later?"

Olivia nodded and remained close behind her.

They just had entered the elevator when the doors to the courtroom opened and people filed out. One of the last leaving was Alex Cabot. Looking around she found Cragen and Fin in the hall and went over to them.

"Where's Elliot?"

"On the way to the hospital, together with Kathy and their kids," the captain let her know. "And what are you doing here so early? Don't you have a session to finish?"

"It was finished by a commotion caused by Domingo," Alex explained. "He declared that he wants to testify and has to hire a lawyer of his own. Judge McKellen declared a recess until after lunch to give him time to meet with an attorney and discuss what is happening."

"What does that mean for us?" Cragen asked. "Why would Domingo want to testify?"

"I can imagine that he wants to blame Mendoza. He'll probably tell us that it was all Mendoza's idea and that he was the one shooting at Olivia." She shrugged. "I don't think that it will change anything, though."

"And if Mendoza claims the same?" Fin asked worriedly. "If they both say the other did it? Then they could both walk." After everything Elliot had gone through it would be a slap in the face if Mendoza was not sentenced.

"I trust the jury to see through such a trick," Alex said. "I don't think that his testimony can threaten the trial. They'll both go to prison."

"You just make sure they do," Fin murmured.

tbc…


	42. Chapter 42

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for your reviews. :D Especially to the two new reviewers. Thanks a lot. I guess I should reply more often and hope that you'll accept my thanks this way, too. - I'm surprised to see where this is going. LOL This chapter was supposed to be a few paragraphs in ch41. LOL Now look what happened... :D It's the longest chapter so far, but I just did not know how to possibly split it. Special thanks to _JO_ for being so picky and giving great advise. :D Enjoy!

**42**

**Criminal Court**

**100 Centre Street**

**Manhattan**

When they left the courthouse the paramedics guided the group to an ambulance parked right in front of the stairs. A second transport pulled up behind the first one just as they reached the sidewalk.

"Okay, Detective," Ian said. "You can't ride all in the same bus. Will you and your wife come with us while the children ride in the second one?"

Kathy and Elliot just glanced at each other.

"You go with the kids," he declared.

"Are you sure?" Kathy asked worriedly.

"Yeah, I am," he mumbled, squeezing her hand. "I'll be fine."

Kathy doubted that. Never before had she seen him so scared. Her gaze fell on her husband's duty partner. "Um… maybe you could, Olivia," she said. "Will you go with Elliot? If that's okay for you, El…"

Olivia felt her heart jump into her throat, but she managed a nod.

"Sure, Kathy. I'll take good care of him." Smiling encouragingly she watched Kathy and the four children climb into the second bus.

Beside Olivia her partner tensed up again as he saw the doors fall shut. He grabbed for her hand and squeezed it tight.

"It's okay, Elliot," Olivia soothed. "You'll see them as soon as we're at the hospital."

The paramedics shoved the detective's stretcher into the bus and Olivia climbed in behind them.

The ambulance drove off and followed the other bus to the Cabrini Medical Center on East 19th Street. Ian contacted the hospital and gave a short history about their patient, "Detective Elliot Stabler, white male, approximately forty years old. Complaining of a panic attack with resulting in difficulties breathing. An MD on the scene who was familiar with the case gave him some diazepam. Upon our arrival BP was 197/98, pulse 92. Currently stable, we started fluids at the scene, BP is now 142/81, pulse 75, respiration and temperature normal. He's alert and oriented times three."

With one ear Olivia listened to the paramedic making his report. Right then her partner just lay on the gurney, his eyes closed, looking rather relaxed, but by his tight grip on her hand she could tell that he was not. She was sure that he listened to everything around him and neither missed nor liked what Ian was telling the ER doctor.

"Physical injuries appear very minor, but I wasn't able to put him on a cardiac monitor."

"Why not?"

"I don't know what happened to him, but he's very resistant to being touched. It might be easier on him if someone trained in handling victims of an assault would take his case."

Ian finished his call and turned back to Elliot to take his vitals again. This time Elliot refused. He did not even know why. Ian had done it four times so far and it did not hurt once. All Elliot knew was that his anxiety built up again. Ian noticed that, too, and tried to calm him down, but to no avail.

Once they got to the ambulance bay Elliot told the paramedics that he could walk inside, but Ian would have none of it. When they pulled out the stretcher and rolled it inside of the hospital Olivia remained close to Elliot's side. The paramedics brought him into an examination room where he insisted on climbing from the gurney onto the examination table instead of being lifted. After he did Ian smiled and nodded at him encouragingly and the paramedics left.

"Doctor Sullivan will be here in a minute," a nurse told them and reached for Elliot's arm to pull up his sleeve and wrap a blood pressure cuff around his upper arm, but Elliot flinched back from her. "I'm just going to check your vitals," the nurse explained, "so that I can give them to doctor Sullivan."

Almost violently Elliot shook his head.

The nurse shrugged and hurried to another room.

"Are you okay?" Olivia asked gently.

Elliot nodded, but he sure as hell did not look like that. The IV still stuck in his hand and he absently rubbed the spot because it was itching.

"Elliot," Olivia scolded and he rather reached out for her instead. "You want to go to your family, right?" she said. "You will see them soon. The doctor will just give you an once over and then you'll be out of here. Okay?"

Grimacing he would not look at her.

"I don't want to say that I understand what you're going through, but I think I have a pretty good idea. After what they did to you I would be scared, too."

Now he looked at her, scowling. Something in her words alarmed him.

"To have that kind of thing happen in your own home, where you're supposed to be safe, especially the way they tormented you." She shook her head sadly. "I can understand how that would be tough for you."

Suddenly it hit him.

"The SWAT team," he gasped. "Did they plant video surveillance?"

Reluctantly Olivia nodded. She could feel him tense up and saw him grimace and violently shake his head.

"No," he groaned, realizing when his colleagues possibly got to know about their predicament. "Since when? Since Mrs. Lavender's call?"

"Actually, we knew you were in trouble when the bug fell out of your badge," she told him, "But, yeah, we had surveillance up and running about the time she called you."

His features contorted with mental pain and his eyes filled with tears he did not want to let fall.

"D…did… you watch?" he asked in a tearful voice. "Did you?"

Olivia felt tears well up in her eyes, too, and tried to blink them back.

"Yes, I did," she told him, her voice hoarse with emotion.

"Who else?" he whispered barely audibly.

Not telling him was no option. She knew that he only would rack his brain over the uncertain question and spin all kinds of theories if she did not tell him the truth. "The SWAT commander, two technicians, Cragen… and George Huang."

"Huang?" he closed his eyes, shaking, trying to digest that there were witnesses of him being violated. That it might be on tape. That it _was_ on tape!

"You recorded it, right?" he asked tonelessly.

Olivia nodded, unable to speak with the frog in her throat.

Covering his face with both his hands Elliot shrank back from her. Silent sobs made his body shake, but still no tears were falling. Violently he shook his head in a futile attempt to get rid of the awful imaginations of laughing men. Some of them wore black masks… others the familiar faces of his commanding officer and the unit's psychiatrist.

Of course he knew that the latter would not laugh at him, but his emotional turmoil did not distinguish between them and the men who tormented him.

For a moment Olivia was at a loss. Briefly she wondered how he would react if she just hugged him. She decided not to do it now. Crooning soothingly she rubbed his thigh up and down, just trying to assure him of her presence. Secretly she was glad that the doctor did not arrive yet.

"Elliot?" she finally tried to get his attention focused back on her. "Elliot."

But he refused to look at her. He let his hands rest on his thighs, but he would not meet her gaze. Grimacing he tried to hide from her. Desperately he also tried to hold back his tears and realized that it became harder and harder to fight them.

"I know, Elliot," Olivia told him. "It's okay to be scared and it's okay to cry. Here with me you can, El. You can let go. You're safe. Just let it out. I won't think less of you if you cry. Never."

With a heartbreaking sob he nearly overwhelmed her with a tight embrace. Olivia felt him shaking and her shirt getting soaked when he allowed his tears to fall freely. For several minutes she comforted him, holding him in her arms, rocking forward and back, stroking his hair and crooning softly in his ear.

Olivia only looked up when she heard someone clear her throat. Next to the examination table stood a petit woman in a white doctor's jacket.

"Hello, I'm Dr. Sullivan," she introduced herself. "Detective Stabler?"

At first Elliot wanted to hide from her, but after a little quiet reassurance from Olivia, he sat up straight and faced her.

"Yeah," he croaked and did not dare to try and say more.

Looking at the chart she was holding she said, "I understand that you suffered a trauma and a resulting panic attack. You were given… yes, diazepam for the latter. Now let's check your physical condition. Okay?"

"I was drugged?" Elliot croaked.

Dr. Sullivan smiled. "Ordinarily in cases like this, we don't prescribe medication until we have a chance to put the patient on a heart monitor to make sure he is not having a heart attack, but given that this…" She consulted her chart again before she continued, "Dr. Huang knows you and is familiar with your circumstances, I guess he felt the odds of it being a cardiac incident were low and the medication would be beneficial."

Elliot replied, "Huh?"

Dr. Sullivan just kept smiling at him kindly and said, "I'm sorry. That was probably more information than you needed to know. I am sure Dr. Huang did what he believed to be best for you at the time."

"I'll wait…" _outside_, Olivia wanted to say, but a hard grip on her forearm stopped her.

"Please stay," Elliot whispered. "If that's okay…?"

"Sure," doctor Sullivan agreed. She watched them for a moment and, deciding that he needed another moment to get accustomed to her, stepped up to Elliot then. "Let's start with your blood pressure," she explained. "Could you roll up your sleeve, please?"

Elliot nodded and tried to comply, but when his shaking hands struggled with rolling his shirt cuff Olivia had to assist him. The doctor wrapped the blood pressure cuff around his upper arm and blew it up. The device made a hissing noise as it inflated, then it took the measurement.

"Hmmm…" Sullivan mused as she pulled off the cuff and put the meter away. Then she jotted down the results. "Your blood pressure's still high, but not threateningly high. I assume that you're still nervous due to all the stress you were exposed to."

Elliot frowned. _Exposed_ was not a lucky choice of words. That was exactly what he did not want to be again. Knowing that he would not have the chance to avoid being exposed to the doctor in this case did not make it easier to go through with the examination.

"Why don't you open your shirt and let me take a look at you, Detective. Or may I call you Elliot?"

To his own surprise Elliot was undecided. He could not tell if Doctor Sullivan realized it, but he and Olivia had met her before when they were at the hospital on the job. Usually he would not mind being called by his first name, but this time? Squeezing Olivia's hand he tried to think of an answer. One that would not leave him feeling degraded again.

"I'd prefer _detective_," he finally said, uncertain if he would be able to stand her calling him Elliot.

"Okay," Sullivan agreed, "fine with me. Shall I help you, Detective?" she added as he had trouble fumbling open his tie and buttons.

"No," he grumbled. Only reluctantly he accepted Olivia's help. He wanted to do it himself, but he just could not get the small buttons through the holes as his hands were still shaking. He hated it!

"Okay, Detective. Can you please tell me if you're taking any medications or drugs or if you're allergic to any medications?" Shining with a penlight into his eyes she looked at his pupils to see if they dilated and constricted appropriately. "Too much at once?" she asked when he remained silent. "Okay, do you have any preexisting medical conditions?"

This time Elliot shook his head.

"So you are not on any medication… drugs?"

Elliot snorted and looked at her indignantly.

Sullivan smiled. "Please tell me, Detective Stabler."

"No," he grumbled.

"Fine." Her smile broadened. "Any allergies? Are you allergic to any medications?"

"No… not that I know of."

Attentively she studied him. Her next question might be the most difficult for him.

"Okay, Detective, can you tell me what happened?"

Elliot looked at her, stunned. For a moment he was at a loss. What should he tell her?

"Ummm…" he mumbled. "I was at c-court," his voice started to shake, "t-testifying and afterwards I… broke down."

"Hm hmmm… You had a panic attack, right?"

Blushing a deep dark crimson Elliot nodded slightly.

"Can you tell me what led to the attack?" Sullivan asked kindly.

Before she could do as much as take a breath, Elliot shot Olivia a death glare. He did not want her to tell the doctor. It would take a moment, but he had to do it. Olivia understood and waited.

"M-my family and I… we… were held hostage f-for two days," Elliot finally managed to say. "The men m-made me…" He choked. "Made me rehearse w-what they… wanted me to do, and… punished me when…"

He could not say more. His throat corded up and he felt sick again. His blood was rushing in his ears.

"They punished you when you didn't exactly do what they wanted?" Sullivan provided and Elliot nodded. The doctor fell silent. Given that information, the way he was reacting to her appeared in a new light. It made much more sense now. _Okay, you need to be careful,_ she told herself before she started the examination. Keeping her tone gentle she asked, "What did they do to punish you?"

He sucked in a breath, his fists balled and he slightly squirmed.

_So it's nothing he wants me to know,_ Sullivan thought. _Well, I guess I'll need to know a bit more about what happened._

Actually the bruise in his face was the first thing she had noticed and so she asked him about it now.

"Were you struck in the head at any time?"

"Um…" uncomfortably he shifted his weight. Avoiding eye contact with Olivia he also avoided to talk about it.

"I hit him in the face," Olivia confessed, blushing. The corresponding bruise was what she had noticed first, too. "I'm so sorry, El."

"Don't be," he mumbled. "It's okay. You didn't know. I should be the one apologizing. You thought I was letting you down."

"I should have known you wouldn't do that, El. I should have realized then that something was wrong."

"It's all right," he insisted. "You couldn't have known, but I think you should go now."

"Why?" As he had asked her to stay before she was surprised by his change of mind now.

"I… um…" Elliot looked her directly in the eyes. "Please, I… don't want you… um… to see…"

Olivia could not help but be hurt. On the other hand she could understand him. Not wanting to upset him further by telling him that she already had seen his injuries she complied with his wish.

"Shall I go and get Kathy?" she asked.

"No," he whispered, his turmoil visible in his grimace. "She… should stay with the kids."

Thoughtfully Olivia nodded.

"Well, Elliot. If you need me, I'll be right outside the door."

"Thanks, Liv," Elliot mumbled and felt her hand brush over his cheek. Then she left.

xxx

"Captain!" Olivia said surprised as she spotted their commanding officer. "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be at court?"

"Judge McKellen declared another recess," Cragen told her. "The session will continue at 2 pm."

"Oh, okay. Hey, Fin," she turned to her colleague. "Good job."

"We were lucky," he grumbled.

"You were stubborn," Cragen said. "And it was good work."

"Well, Bobby helped."

Olivia offered him a crooked smile. Obviously Fin did not want to accept praise just for doing his job.

"How's John doing?" she asked.

"I thought that he'd go to North Shore University Hospital, but he must have requested the other hospital after they took off. He's at Long Island Jewish Medical Center," their captain told them. "It's just a few streets from Glen Oaks, but it has no ER so the paramedics certainly had to request being redirected there. Well, John's injuries are not life-threatening, but he'll be off work for at least a week."

"Thank God." Olivia really was grateful that their colleague would be alright. The hostage takers could have killed him the moment he arrived at Elliot's house, but they chose to take him prisoner, too. He never was as important to them as Elliot's family, he rather was a risk.

"And how's Elliot doing?" Fin wanted to know.

"Doctor Sullivan's examining him now. Elliot asked me to leave."

"After I left with Bobby I didn't get much news about the situation at their house. What was going on there?"

Olivia grimaced. "Something I'd wish not to have on my mind for the rest of my life."

Now Fin scowled at her. "That bad, huh?"

"Worse."

Cragen swallowed. He also had not digested yet what they had had to witness via video surveillance. And if he thought about the fact that that was _just_ a third of the time the Stablers had been held hostage… no, he should not think about that.

"Given the situation everything went off lightly," he murmured. "I mean, no one was seriously injured."

"Just their souls," Olivia mumbled and sank down on a bench, wiping away a stray tear of grief and exhaustion.

Cragen had to admit that she was right. They all would need time and a lot of counseling to process what had happened to them.

xxx

Doctor Sullivan eyed Elliot intently. Sitting on the edge of the exam table his posture was tense. She had to try and relax him.

"Why don't you sit properly up on the couch?" she wanted to know. "Come on, Detective. There's no reason to flee from me."

For this remark she got a skeptical look in return, but he skidded a bit backwards, sitting more comfortably now.

"Isn't that better?"

"Hm hmmm."

Maintaining her low and calming voice she explained to him what she planned to do, "Okay, Detective. I'd like to look at your injuries. Is that alright with you?"

"Yeah," he croaked.

Deliberately moving slowly Sullivan reached for the open tie to remove it. When she pulled it off she felt him tense under her touch.

"I know you're still anxious, and that's okay, but you don't have to worry. You're safe here. No one will hurt you here."

"Who's worried?" he mumbled.

But Sullivan could see fear in his eyes. He gnashed his teeth in an attempt to hide it. An unsuccessful attempt.

"We'll need to document your injuries," Sullivan said. "A nurse will be here soon to support me."

Elliot sucked in a few breaths, trying to get his breathing in check. His bottom lip was trembling. _Didn't I just send Olivia away? I don't want to be ogled at __like some kind of freak. __We're not on _Untold Stories of the ER_ here._

"We won't hurt you. I promise," Sullivan emphasized.

"You probably will," Elliot mumbled miserably.

"When I touch your injuries? Probably." She smiled encouragingly. "Don't worry." Seeing his knitting brows she chuckled. "You're worrying too much."

"I have reason to."

The door opened and a young woman entered the examination room. She was about twenty years old and a little chubby with carrot colored hair and freckles all over her round face.

"I'm Wendi," she said. "I'm going to assist doctor Sullivan."

"I need to palpate your neck," Sullivan said right then. "You're badly bruised. Did someone hit you there?"

"Yeah."

She reached up for him, but he flinched back.

"Easy." Gently she put her fingers against his flesh. At once she felt the muscles in his neck tense. They were hard under her touch. "Does that hurt?"

"N-no," he pressed through gritted teeth. "But… I… I can't…"

"You can't do what?" Sullivan wanted to know.

"Could we… do this on our own?"

"Detective Stabler, you know that your colleagues will need the photos for evidence, right?"

He nodded.

"Wendi will just do that. She won't touch you, not at all. Okay? She will just assist me."

Elliot swallowed. He did not want to have another witness of his humiliation, but he had no choice. "Okay."

Nodding slightly Sullivan reached out again. "Please try to tell me when it hurts, okay, Detective?"

"Y-yeah."

It was hard for him to remain sitting. Over and over again he told himself that she only intended to help. Still he could not help his emotions. His instincts told him to avoid her while his conscious mind forced him to grant her the contact. Her fingertips trailed along his neck and touched his Adam's apple, which made him suck in air.

"Did that hurt?"

"Just a little bit." Elliot was surprised how scared he sounded.

"Okay, doesn't look as if you're badly injured there…" Sullivan said thoughtfully, trying to take his chin and lightly turn his head to look at the other bruises, but she was taken by surprise when he jerked back his head.

"Easy!" she said, letting her hands sink on his shoulders, lightly resting there. "Relax! Come on, take a deep breath. And another." Encouragingly she smiled at him. "Okay, Detective, keep breathing. Can you answer me a question?"

Elliot just could nod.

"Do you know what caused this reaction?"

Gasping in another breath he tried to answer, "H-he… held me, too."

"Like that?" Sullivan wondered. "On your chin?"

"Yeah."

"I see…" She looked up at the brightly shining blue eyes. Fear stood in them, pure fear. "Can you lift your head a bit?" Elliot complied and she asked, "And turn it a bit to the right?"

Elliot did that, too, and squinted at her when she bent slightly forward to look at the bruise Olivia's blow left.

"Okay, Detective. That was the head… We take photos now." She nodded at Wendi who raised the camera she had brought with herself. The sudden glare of the flashlight startled Elliot and he gasped for air.

"Can you turn your head for just one more photo?" Sullivan kindly asked him and he forced himself to comply. "Thank you, Detective. You're doing great. Now let's check your upper body, okay?"

"Hm hmmm."

She pushed the open shirt aside and down from his shoulders, revealing the bandage and the cut across his chest.

_Ouch,_ she thought. _What the hell did they do to him?_

Now that his shirt was gone and she could look his upper body over she saw not only the cut and bandage but other bruises as well. They were on his chest, his abdomen, arms… there were not only light rope burns on his wrists but also on his upper arms, right above the elbow. She had seen worse injuries before, but when she imagined that they did this to him to force him to comply to their wishes she felt her stomach constrict anyway.

Once more his breathing accelerated. She did not have to take his vitals to know that his heart was racing. His anxiety was all too clear and she sensed that she had to carefully mix compassion with professionalism to keep him focused and not scare him off completely.

Forcing herself to appear unimpressed she reached for her stethoscope.

"You know the game, right? It just will be a bit cold to the touch. I have to listen to the lungs and heart and abdomen for abnormal sounds." Before she moved again, she granted him time to answer.

"Okay."

"Who treated this wound?" she asked casually before she put the stethoscope against his chest.

Elliot remained silent as memories suddenly crowded his mind, memories of black masked men, black gloved hands and a single pair of dark brown eyes that belonged to the man who had drugged him into unconsciousness.

The doctor heard normal breathing sounds and heartbeat, well, normal in the sense that he was not injured. But she also could tell that the heart rate was accelerated and his breathing came strained.

"One of them," Elliot mumbled and his voice was shaking.

"Sounds okay," Sullivan said, smiling, putting the stethoscope away. "Well, I have to change the bandage. Okay?"

Elliot nodded. The wound was burning again and even though he was embarrassed by the thought that someone could see it he hoped that the doctor would do something that would take the pain away.

Carefully Sullivan peeled the tape off that held the bandage and took the gauze away. What she revealed left her breathless. Not because of the severity of the injury, but because of its symbolism.

"How could they do that?" she blurted out and bit her tongue a second later. "Wendi, could you take shots of his torso, please?" Hurrying over to a drawer she made room for the nurse who addressed Elliot now.

"Okay, Detective," she said gently. "It will take just…" she made two quick shots from the front and he flinched. "a second." Wendi smiled at him, walking around the exam table. "One from your back and I'm done for now."

Two times Elliot saw the flash and then Sullivan was back. She had gotten several implements and started to treat the wound of the brand. There were also minor injuries caused by the electric shocker, but they would heal by themselves as would the cut which showed first signs of scabbing over. Now she had to prevent inflammation of the burn. She knew that she hurt him, but he did not react. Clenching his fists and gnashing his teeth he waited for her to get finished and seal the injury with a new patch of gauze.

"So…, that's it," she finally said, putting the tape down. Smiling encouragingly she told him, "I have to check everything. Were you assaulted, too?"

All color drained from his face. _Did she really ask if I was raped?_

Elliot shook his head.

"I'll make it as quick as possible, but I have to look you over completely, okay?"

But Elliot did not answer, he did not move. So far he had avoided her gaze, but after another moment of hesitation he looked straight at her and under his scrutinizing view she felt as if he was x raying her. Then it softened and insecurity and doubts took the place of fear and rage.

"It won't go away when it heals, will it?" he whispered.

Sullivan hesitated just for a second before she shook her head. His face contorted with mental pain. It was obvious that he had been fighting the harsh truth and just had received the death blow. A few tears squeezed out of the corners of his eyes when he blinked and he hung his head in defeat.

She was tempted to pull him into a soothing embrace but was not sure how he would take it. Maybe she would make everything worse. Suppressed sobs lightly shook his body. Sullivan had no idea what might be going on inside of his head, what he might feel, but she saw that he was suffering and she wanted to ease his pain.

"Sh…," she said, gently rubbing his left forearm. "Sh…"

She did not dare to say that it would be okay, and Elliot was grateful for it. When he finally was able to look up at her again she said, "I'll give you something for the pain, Detective."

"It's not that bad anymore," Elliot replied, suddenly anxious again.

"Why don't you just let me help you, huh?" she asked, going for a syringe and the pain killer. "It won't affect you being alert, okay. It will just take the edge off the pain."

Grimacing skeptically he watched her intently when she injected the pain killer into his IV. Vividly he was reminded of what had happened in his bedroom and his breathing accelerated once again.

"You know, I was just reminded of a movie, a quote out of it," Dr. Sullivan said as Elliot shrugged his shirt back on and managed to close a couple of the buttons on it to cover himself.

Her smile was genuine. There was no pity or malignity in it. That made it easier for Elliot to not feel affronted by her remark. Instead he was curious.

"Which movie?" he wanted to know.

"The Man in the Iron Mask. Do you know it?"

"A new one, with… I forgot his first name… Malkovich… and Jeremy Irons."

"That's the one," she praised. "The quote I mean was by Leonardo DiCaprio, though."

"Which was?"

"I'm wearing the mask, it's not wearing me."

She did not have to say more… Elliot knew exactly what she meant. Instantly he was choked up and he was fighting new tears shooting to his eyes.

"I know that you have a rocky road ahead, but I'm sure that you'll make your way and get out of it stronger than before."

Elliot swallowed.

"What makes you believe that?" he asked thoroughly confused.

"You just give that impression," she smiled. After giving him a moment to digest that she said, "I need to document any bruises or abrasions to your lower body, Detective. You know that, right?"

_Yes, I know,_ Elliot thought and his insides constricted painfully. His breathing came strained again and he could not make himself remove his trousers, because he felt as if the two women were staring at him.

"Take a deep breath, Detective," Sullivan advised.

Well, he tried that, once, twice… Finally he reached for the belt, unbuckled it and opened the button. When he reached for the zipper his hands started to tremble again.

"Sh… Don't forget to breathe, Detective!" Sullivan admonished him good-naturedly.

Only when he gasped for air now he noticed that he had held his breath. _Oh man! C'mon, Elliot! You can do that!_

Then he realized that he should take off his shoes first, slipped off the exam table and bent to open the laces. Toeing the shoes off he noticed that his right ankle hurt. Then he slipped out of the trousers.

Sullivan just glanced at his legs and nodded towards Wendi to take more pictures. Both limbs were bruised. Dr. Sullivan could actually see the marks the hands had left on his shins and thighs.

_What did they do to him?_ she wondered, trying to imagine how he had been held for them to leave the marks where and how they colored his skin.

"Okay…" she said. "I'd like to make one final check. Do you think you could lie down for me?"

Fear lit up his eyes instantly. _Lying down again. God, I don't want that!_

Still he shifted his position and lowered himself on the examination table. Surprised he noticed that it was not as scary as before. He knew that she would not hurt him and so he surrendered himself to her.

Carefully she palpated his body in search for tender spots, indicating internal injuries, and was glad when she could not find anything. A few times he winced when she touched a bruise but she would not find anything else.

"Can you check on my right ankle?" Elliot asked. "They chained me up by it and I tripped and fell."

"Does it hurt when you're walking?"

"Just a bit."

"Well, it'll be better to make sure."

So she gently removed the sock, felt the ankle and foot up and down, moved the joint and stretched the foot, and finally decided to bandage it for support. Before she did so Wendi took another photo.

"Detective," Sullivan continued, "in addition to the bruising from the chain, I'm also seeing a rope burn. Did they tie both your ankles?"

Suddenly remembering being tied spread eagle in his living room, Elliot started to sweat. Rising memories made his heart beat faster once more and closed his chest. _Don't give in to it!_ he ordered himself. _She just wants to treat your injuries! You don't have to fear her!_ Still his anxiety caused tremor to run through his body.

Still he answered hesitantly, "Y-yes."

"Then I need to check the other ankle, too," Dr. Sullivan told him as she peeled the left sock away. "There's a little bruising and some minor abrasions here. Wendi? Can you get some pictures?"

The camera flashed twice more, and Elliot flinched at the bright light.

"Are we done now?" the nurse asked.

"Yes, we are. Thanks, Wendi." Sullivan got the camera from Wendi and then attended to Elliot again. She noticed that he still was nervous and wondered why.

"You can sit up and dress," she told him.

So Elliot sat up, but he did not reach for his pants. Uncomfortably shifting his position on the stretcher he tried to make up his mind. Should he tell her? He was quite reluctant to do it, but each time he shifted his weight he was reminded by pain that it might be better.

"What is it?" Dr. Sullivan asked compassionately, noticing his distress.

"H-he… he hit…" Elliot choked on the words. "Hit me… e-elsewhere."

"Where?" she simply wanted to know.

"Um… d-down there…" he mumbled.

But that was enough for her to realize what he meant. Very carefully she coaxed him into letting her have a look at where Barry had hit him during playing _strip interrogation_. She found dark bruises, but except for those he seemed to be all right.

"I know, that must hurt a lot," Sullivan said compassionately when he got dressed again. "There are a few things you can do to help yourself feel better such as take pain relievers, which I'll prescribe for you. You can lie down or apply ice packs to the area. Supportive underwear can be used to gently support the testicles. In case that it should _not_ get better or the bruising even increases, you should have it checked again," she suggested. "Just to be on the safe side."

"Okay, Dr. Sullivan," he mumbled.

When she was done and turned to her patient again she noticed that he looked sleepy. Certainly the events had caught up with him. He needed some rest.

"I'd like to admit you," she stated.

"Oh, no!" he groaned. "I don't think that my family has to stay here. Why should I stay? You wouldn't have to observe my condition, would you?"

_Hmmm, not really,_ she thought.

"It would be a precaution." She put the roll of gauze into the drawer. "What do you say? You'll stay here and rest for a moment and I'll go and see where your family is and how they're doing, okay?"

Elliot nodded tiredly and even before she left the room he fell asleep.

xxx

Stepping through the door Dr. Sullivan almost crashed into Fin who was pacing in the hall. Right across from the examination room was a waiting area and all the heads of the people there turned around to face the doctor. She smiled.

"Are you here for Detective Stabler?" she asked and the others nodded their confirmation. She recognized Olivia but knew that she was his duty partner. On another chair sat a blonde woman who just then got up in order to meet Sullivan.

"Kathy Stabler," the blonde said. "How's he doing?"

"Mrs. Stabler, I'm Dr. Sullivan," she introduced herself. "We should talk in private."

"These are his captain and colleagues. You can talk in front of them," Kathy replied.

"Okay," Sullivan agreed but went deeper into the waiting area so that no one passing would overhear them and the little group surrounded her when she was talking to Kathy, "Your husband's not seriously injured, at least not physically. There are a lot of bruises and a few scratches, a sprained ankle and sore muscles."

Kathy nodded, processing what the doctor told her… and what she did not tell her. Like the implication that his mental health was another matter.

"Will my dad be okay?"

Doctor Sullivan looked down to the young girl who clung to her mother now.

"Yes, sweetie," she assured Lizzie. "He will be alright."

"Wanna see him," Lizzie whined.

"Me, too," her brother rushed to her support, scared that they would not be allowed to go in to him.

"I think he's sleeping," Sullivan said, breaking the circle to return to the exam room. Carefully not to make a noise she pushed the door a bit open to look inside. "Yes, he is."

"You can go on," Kathy told them anyway and added strictly, "but you might want to let him rest. So be quiet."

"Sure, Ma," Kathleen said and was the first who squeezed into the room. Her siblings followed her. Dickie and Lizzie climbed up to Elliot on the narrow examination table and actually managed to snuggle up to him, which he hardly seemed to notice. His right arm wrapped around Lizzie and he fell asleep again.

Kathy smiled, but did not enter herself. After she had made sure that the kids were taken care of first she now had to take care of herself. Even knowing that did not really ease her fear.

"I'd like to talk to you, Olivia," she said. "Don? Maybe you could stay with them?"

"Sure, Kathy," he confirmed.

"Um, Cap?" Fin said before Cragen could vanish inside the room. "One of us should be at court when the trial starts again. You want me to go?"

"That would be great," his captain replied. "Thanks, Fin."

So the captain went into the room and Fin bade goodbye to Kathy and Olivia, leaving to return to court. Suddenly on her own with Olivia and the doctor Kathy turned to the latter.

"Um… Dr. Sullivan, who's responsible for… um… I mean…?" Kathy stuttered and blushed.

Olivia picked up on her words at once. _God, no!_ she thought. _No! Not Kathy!_ Reassuringly she laid her hand on the other woman's shoulder and felt her flinch slightly. Taking a deep breath she concentrated on the doctor who looked confused for just a moment. Then understanding lit up her eyes before either of the other women could say more.

"That's me," she said. "I take it you were not examined yet?"

Swallowing Kathy shook her head. "I asked them to treat the kids first."

"Okay. Come in here."

Sullivan led both women down the hall and into another examination room where Kathy stood hesitating right at the door closing behind her. Just a glance at the examination table told her that the doctor had interpreted her hesitation and blush right.

"Can you give me a moment? I'd like to talk with Olivia first."

"Of course. I'll be right back."

Still Kathy stood in the middle of the room, starting to shake. Worse than before she felt her exhaustion and she wished to just crawl into a bed and not move until next morning. Oh, of course not before she had a very long shower. But she suspected that she would not get that chance anyway.

Olivia waited beside her, not wanting to push her.

"You'll help me through this, won't you, Olivia?" Kathy rasped.

"Sure, Kathy. If you want me to I'll stay with you all the time."

"Thanks." For a moment she fell silent again before she mumbled, a pained tremor in her voice, "He knows. I'm not sure if the kids understood what happened, but El knows."

"He does?" Olivia asked sympathetically.

Kathy nodded and a single sob escaped her. "I… I told him… that the girls were okay… I… I went with him to save Maureen."

_They really wanted to force the girls? Those bastards!_ Olivia's heart went out to her partner's wife. _What a horrible situation, giving herself up to the man who wanted to rape her daughter!_

"I… I ought to get undressed, huh?"

"You don't have to hurry, Kathy," Olivia said. "We need fresh examining paper first."

"Examining paper?"

"To line the floor behind the screen. You have to disrobe over it so that no evidence gets lost," Olivia explained to her. Then she got her cell phone out and ordered uniformed officers who would take the saved evidence to the forensic laboratories.

Kathy stared at her out of widening eyes. Suddenly she realized that that was what her husband was doing day in and day out and an icy shudder rushed down her spine.

"Will you do some of the examination?" she asked huskily, choking on her returning fear.

"Not the actual examination, but I'll have to handle the evidence." Encouragingly Olivia smiled at her. "Did you ask me to stay as your friend or as a cop? Do you want someone else to take the evidence?"

"I've called my mom," Kathy mumbled. "She said she'd get us some stuff from home and bring it here."

"Good. Do you want to wait until she's here?" Olivia asked, wanting to keep the conversation going even though Kathy had not really responded to her question.

Kathy hesitated just for a short moment. "No. I'll be as comfortable as I can be under these circumstances with you."

"I'm glad to help you… and I'm sorry for what happened. We should have helped you. We should…"

"You didn't know something was wrong," Kathy cut her off. "It's not your or Don's fault."

Olivia was surprised to hear her say that. For most victims it was a big step, most often during their counseling, to realize that it was not their fault but their attacker's that they were hurt. Olivia wondered if that had something to do with her husband being a cop? A special victims cop? Whatever it was, it amazed Olivia. And she was honored by her trust.

Doctor Sullivan returned and brought a rape kit with her. Then she spread the examining paper Olivia had mentioned on the floor behind the screen. Giving Kathy a few paper bags she said, "Please put your clothes into these bags, one bag for each garment."

All Kathy could do was to nod. Her mouth and throat were dry and she did not trust her voice anyway. She retreated behind the screens separating a corner from the rest of the room. Fabric rustled as she pulled off her shirt and pants and stuffed both into separate the paper bags.

Olivia put on latex gloves and receiving the bags she sealed and labelled them.

"Okay, I-I'm r-ready." Clad in a hospital gown Kathy stepped around the screen. "Now I'm scared," she said. "Olivia?"

"I'll stay with you all the time. You'll be alright."

"Yeah…"

"Can you please lower the top of the gown?" Sullivan asked. "I want to check you for any other injuries before we turn to the gynecological exam, okay?"

"We have to evaluate you for any bruises, lacerations or abrasions," Olivia explained. "We have to photograph any findings and describe them on the forms."

Once more Kathy nodded. Pulling off the thin paper gown she started to quiver. Yes, she had said she would be comfortable with Olivia being present, but the truth was that she was not. Actually she doubted that the word comfortable was fitting at all. She would not be _comfortable_ with anyone. But she did know Olivia would be compassionate and understanding and she knew without a doubt that she would be _safe_ with her husband's partner at her side. Under the circumstances, that was the best that she could expect.

Standing as good as naked in front of the other two women Kathy felt incredibly vulnerable, maybe more than she did when she first was raped. She was infinitely aware of her bruises and scratches all over her body she had received running through the dark night's forest… and felt a sudden urge to explain where her injuries came from.

"That's… um, from the bushes," she mumbled. "My clothes, they're littered with leaves and dirt."

"It's okay, Kathy," Olivia told her. "We still have to document everything, you know."

Unable to answer Kathy just nodded.

"You're doing great," Olivia praised. She was taking photos while Dr. Sullivan wrote detailed descriptions of everything she found on the rape kit forms. "You're so brave."

When Kathy lifted the bottom of the gown she revealed a couple of ugly bruises.

"Ouch!" Olivia mumbled.

Kathy looked aside. She did not want Olivia's pity. She felt bad enough as it was.

Carefully Dr. Sullivan palpated the bruises to determine if there were more serious injuries, but everything appeared to be alright. Olivia documented the bruises on Kathy's thighs taking more photos and the doctor noted these results, too.

"Okay. Could you now sit down on the examination table?"

As Kathy climbed up on it and placed her legs in the stirrups she suddenly did not feel brave at all anymore. Her breathing accelerated and she reached out for Olivia's hand.

"Sh…" Olivia said, squeezing Kathy's hand reassuringly.

With a special Wood's lamp Sullivan examined the inner thighs and perineal area to detect semen stains. Olivia could not see much, but enough to know that the bastard did not use a condom. Sullivan swabbed the fluorescent areas with cotton swabs and then took the sterile comb out of the rape kit and opened the wrapping. Then she combed her patient's pubic hair over a clean sheet of paper to collect any trace of evidence. Placing the comb, sheet and pubic hair combings in a paper bag she handed the evidence to Olivia who sealed and labeled it, too.

Spotting a speculum in doctor Sullivan's hand, Kathy sucked in a sharp breath. At once she felt Olivia's hand on her shoulder. It felt strange because it still was gloved but the touch already helped.

Sullivan noted her findings and took more swabs which she also bagged and sealed.

The examination was quite unpleasant for Kathy. From the moment it had happened she had felt pain when she moved or sat. She was not seriously injured but she also was not unharmed. The feeling of the doctor's actions reminded her of the assault and she choked down a sob.

Olivia was impressed by Kathy's strength, that she was neither crying nor complaining, just holding her hand in a crushing grip.

As fast as she could while maintaining the necessary accuracy doctor Sullivan completed her examination. Relieved Kathy sat up again and pulled the hospital gown closer around her.

"Mrs. Stabler?" doctor Sullivan addressed her carefully. "Did anal or oral penetration occur?"

"N-no."

Sullivan nodded and put the last evidence in another bag and sealed it. "Then we'll just need some of your blood for further testing."

"Testing?" Kathy pushed.

"Yes, for baseline tests for sexually transmittable diseases and HIV. You'll need to be tested again in a few weeks, but this way, if something does turn up we can verify that you didn't have it before you were assaulted. I can also offer you antibiotics and the emergency contraception pill. Then we'll be done."

"Emergency contraception?" Kathy mumbled. That offer threw her into a dilemma. In the Catholic Church, contraception was a sin, no matter what the circumstances. She just had to have faith. "I'll take the antibiotics," she said, "but I won't need the other pills."

"Are you sure?" Dr. Sullivan asked.

"Y-yes." Kathy swallowed and prayed that He would take care of her not becoming pregnant.

Olivia smiled at Kathy. "You're incredible."

"No, Olivia, I'm not."

"Yes, you are." Her smile was open and sincere. "I think you're incredibly strong and brave."

Kathy avoided her gaze and retreated towards the screen.

"Dr. Sullivan? Can you wait for a moment while I go and see if Kathy's mother is here yet? I also have to see if my colleagues have arrived, too. We can't break the chain of evidence."

"Of course I'll wait," Dr. Sullivan confirmed.

So Olivia left and in the hall she met Kathy's mother and got a bag with fresh clothes from her which she took to Kathy in the exam room. She also had spotted the uniformed officer who would take the rape kit and left to turn it over to him.

A few minutes later and freshly dressed Kathy went back to Elliot. The kids were almost burying their father. All of them were sound asleep. Kathy smiled, her heart flowing over with love. The last two days had been terrible and she hoped and prayed that love was enough to help them through their ordeal… the one they just went through, and the one that was still to come.

Love and faith, that was what they had.

"You can leave if you want to," Dr. Sullivan told her. "Here are your prescriptions. And your husband should have his bandage changed tomorrow."

"Yeah, thank you, doctor."

Kathy bent forward to wake up the kids and Elliot to head home to her parents' house.

"Kathy," Elliot mumbled drowsily. "Where…?"

"At the hospital, El," she told him. "Come on, guys. We want to go now."

"Kathy? I…"

"I have fresh clothes here for you," Kathy interrupted him, smiling.

Dr. Sullivan removed the IV from Elliot's hand. "I'll be right back."

"Where are we going?" Elliot asked with an innocent seriousness that startled her.

"What do you mean, where are we going?" she asked back.

"Just like I said it, Kath. We can't go back home. Where do you want to go?"

"My parents' house," Kathy told him. "I'm sure we can get some of our stuff later."

_Right._ Elliot just nodded. He knew that their house certainly was swarmed by cops and forensic scientists. Returning there was on the very end of his to-do-list.

"What about the trial?" he asked. "Captain, didn't you want to be there?"

"The session was recessed again," Cragen told him.

"I want to go there."

"Elliot!" Kathy was stunned. "Why?"

"I want to know the jury's decision."

They were interrupted by Dr. Sullivan's return. She handed Elliot two crutches. Smiling she turned and left again, leaving a grimacing Elliot behind.

"I'm sure Don or Olivia could tell you the result. You don't have to go there!"

"I don't want to argue about that Kathy," Elliot told her resolutely. "I just know that I have to be there."

Kathy studied him intently, then she made her decision. "We'll go with you."

tbc…


	43. Chapter 43

48 hours

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. :D I'm so sorry that it took so long to write this chapter. I hope the length can make up for it. Many thanks to my beta _JO_ for helping out with judicial procedure and "lawyer's language". To make as little mistakes as possible is what takes so long. LOL I hope it helps creating the right atmosphere. Enjoy.

**43**

**Criminal Court**

**100 Centre Street**

**Manhattan**

Rebecca Joyce O'Hara met her daughter and her grandchildren when she got out of her car in front of the courthouse. Her son-in-law was with them as well as detective Benson and captain Cragen. The other detective and her own husband would park the cars and follow them. Watching her daughter's family enter the courthouse she sighed because the vision of what had happened to them was still beyond her grasp, then she rushed to follow them in.

The group was stopped by the metal detector, but once cleared they went to the elevators.

On the ride up they still were silent. Each of them was lost in their own thoughts. The kids remained close to their parents, especially Dickie, who held his mother's hand in an iron grip. The girls surrounded Elliot, Lizzie having her hand on the back of her dad's left hand as he supported himself on the crutches.

Olivia was surprised that Kathy was facing each of them as if nothing was wrong, and she wondered if and when she would finally break down. There were shadows under the blonde's eyes and from time to time she stifled a yawn. Elliot on the other hand looked as if he rather would like to crawl into the next hole he could find, hiding from everyone and everything. Never before had Olivia seen her partner that vulnerable and she yearned to protect him and his loved ones from the evil they were going to face.

Leaving the elevator and approaching the courtroom they were confronted with a tempest of flashbulbs.

"What the heck…?" Olivia gasped, stepping in front of her partner to keep the reporters off of him and his family.

The choir of yells and shouts, requesting answers, made the kids back away. They hid behind their parents and grandmother and started to walk backwards. Rebecca tried to stop and comfort them while both Kathy and Elliot grabbed for small hands to keep them close.

"No comment!" Cragen barked, rushing to Olivia's aid. "Get out of the way!"

To make matters worse his cell phone started to ring. Cragen did not care until he and Olivia had managed to make enough room for the Stablers to reach the courtroom. As they slipped inside he pulled the phone out and answering it he stopped right outside the door.

"Too late, Alex," he mumbled, then he shut the phone and followed the others inside.

"What was up?" Olivia asked as he settled down beside her.

"Alex wanted to warn us that the press got wind of the hostage-taking," Cragen explained.

"Too late," Olivia mumbled, glancing back at the doors. They remained closed, not a single reporter getting inside of the courtroom. Then Alex Cabot slipped in.

"The press got barred from the trial," she told them.

"What happened while we were gone?" Cragen wanted to know.

Alex looked at Elliot then at Cragen.

"Well, Domingo found a lawyer and conferred with him. In the meantime someone must have talked with the press. Actually I was surprised that they seemed so disinterested in a cop being dragged out of the courtroom. I would have thought that they would jump on him right away. Anyway, suddenly they got all busy and swarmed out and I was asked where Detective Stabler was, but I didn't tell them. Especially not after I heard the word _hostages_ in their conversations."

"And the press got barred due to that?" Olivia asked.

Alex shrugged. "There was a hearing in the judge's chambers while you were at the hospital. Domingo's lawyer, Mr. Ramsey, asked for the press to be barred in order to protect his client's right to a fair trial. According to him the interest of the press in an alleged hostage-taking could influence the jury's decision. I don't think it would, but I don't mind the reporters being barred either."

Then a bailiff interrupted their conversation and called the court to order.

"Talk to you later," Alex murmured and scurried away to her table.

Everyone stood up when Judge McKellen entered and sat down when she did.

"Mr. Ramsey, Mr. Webber, are you ready to begin again?" Judge McKellen asked.

"Yes, Your Honor," the newbie defending Luca Domingo answered while Webber just nodded.

"Then call your first witness, please."

"Yes, Your Honor. The defense calls Luca Domingo."

And so the younger one of the two defendants rose from his chair and made his way over to the witness stand. Elliot followed him with his eyes and watched how he was sworn in and sat in the box. Ramsey was the first who approached him.

"Mr. Domingo, would you please tell the court how you experienced the night in question?"

"Sure," Domingo replied and tried not to glance at Mendoza who glowered at him. He swallowed and tried to find a rhythm for the tale he had to tell. "Pablo had invited me for a _man's evening_ at his club," he started, his voice still slightly unsteady. "We had a few drinks, talked and danced with the _mujeres_… we had some fun."

"What happened then?"

"I was in one of the back rooms with Pablo and two other friends when we heard shouts in the hall. Men stormed into the club, men in dark clothes and with weapons."

"Who were they?"

"We heard someone scream _policía_," Domingo said. "But we didn't know if they were."

"Didn't the officers identify themselves?" his lawyer wanted to know.

"I never noticed."

"So what did you think when the armed men intruded into your friend's club?"

"I don't remember exactly what I thought, but I was scared."

"Why were you scared?" Ramsey urged him to be more precise.

"Wouldn't you be scared if you see masked and armed men in the place where you wanted to spend a fun and relaxing evening?"

Elliot cringed when he heard Domingo say that. If he would not know that both men, Domingo and Mendoza, were working together he might have believed him. But now his insides churned more with every word. Then he could not listen any longer.

Right next to him in the row of chairs sat Olivia on his left and Lizzie on his right followed by Kathleen and Kathy, while Dickie sat between his mother and his older sister, Maureen. Rebecca held Maureen's hand and stared expressionlessly at Domingo. Elliot felt the presence of his family and his partner as well as he felt another pair of eyes directed on him. Their scrutinizing gaze made him feel uncomfortable. In his seat he shifted his position. He did not want to look at Mendoza. And he did not want Mendoza to look at him, or his family.

Skidding to the edge of his seat and bowing forward Elliot tried to block Mendoza's view. Probably he just imagined it, but he virtually felt pierced by the looks of the Columbian. Still he refused to return the stare. He just tried to shield his family from the murderer who most likely had ordered his men to take them hostage and hold them prisoner for two days.

Olivia squinted at her partner. She could sense how tense he was and worried. _I wonder if it's a good idea for them to be here. They're awfully overtired and the mental strain from the last two days shouldn't be underestimated. I can also imagine why it's so important for Elliot to be here. If he has to stay, maybe it would be better for his family to wait out in the lounge instead of being here in the courtroom. But then it would be easier for the reporters to get to them._

Cragen also harbored his own thoughts. _Elliot's acting protective. Mendoza's forcing him back into this role. Once more._ Glaring at Mendoza he tried to break his stare at Elliot, without success.

And Elliot still refused to turn his gaze away from Domingo who just finished his statement. Now it was Webber's turn to question him. While Ramsey sat back down Webber got up and approached the witness stand.

"Mr. Domingo," he said sweetly, "in your testimony you said that my client shot at the two detectives… is that correct?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Hm hmmm." Webber paused. "But you had a weapon, too, didn't you?"

"No." Under Domingo's left eye a muscle was twitching. A sign of nervousness?

"No?" Webber pushed. "Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"That's weird, my client is prepared to testify that it was the other way round." Webber stepped even closer up to the stand and leaned forward. "So if I'd call him as witness he would tell me that you had the weapon and you were the one who shot at the detectives."

"Then he's a lying _mierda_," Domingo spat.

"Moderate your choice of words, Mr. Domingo," Judge McKellen threw in, looking at him sternly. Obviously she understood Spanish and knew that _mierda_ meant _shit_.

"Yes, Ma'am."

The judge nodded at Webber who continued, "Did you shoot at the detectives?"

"No," Domingo said vehemently.

"Hm hmmm. But we have nothing but your word that you didn't."

Helplessly Domingo glanced at his lawyer, begging for support with his eyes.

Alex could have objected but she watched curiously how the men dug their own graves.

"Do you have proof that you didn't shoot?" Webber pushed and was satisfied by the look that crossed Domingo's face.

"Objection!" Ramsey literally jumped out of his chair. "Mr. Webber should be asking Miss Cabot whether _she_ can prove that my client _did_ shoot!"

_Oh, right,_ Alex thought, inwardly nodding her consent. _You're better than I would have expected, especially given the short amount of time you had to prepare the defense of your client. Well, it doesn't really matter. Mendoza has sunk both himself and Domingo with his threat on Elliot. The rest of the trial is merely a formality._

"Sustained," Judge McKellen ruled.

Webber did not care. He had what he wanted, that the jury heard him ask and saw the witness reflect on his possible answer. "All right, then, I'll try to oblige Mr. Ramsey. Do _you_ have proof that my client, Mr. Mendoza, shot a gun that night?" Threateningly Webber towered beside the witness stand and did not fail his effect on Domingo.

"Objection!" Ramsey shouted, coming to his feet again. "Perhaps Mr. Webber is simply a little slow today, but I did just advise him that it is the prosecution's responsibility to provide evidence of wrongdoing, not my client's."

"Your Honor," Webber responded, "until a few hours ago, this man was my client and I was defending both him and Mr. Mendoza against the exact same charges they are now facing separately. A suspicious mind might wonder if he was keeping quiet because Mr. Mendoza was footing the bill. I must be allowed to question his credibility, and in all honesty, if he does have some evidence incriminating my client, it could only serve the interest of justice for him to share it now."

Judge McKellen seemed to consider Webber's argument for a moment and then nodded, "I'll allow it."

Ramsey looked as if he wanted to object further, but the judge cut him off, saying, "Relax, Mr. Ramsey. If Mr. Mendoza testifies you'll get to ask him the same questions. If he doesn't, they your client's testimony stands alone."

With a smug expression, Webber turned to Domingo and asked again, "Do you have proof that Mr. Mendoza shot at the detectives that night?"

Domingo looked confused, as if he hadn't quite understood what happened and didn't know whether he should be worried or not.

"Mr. Domingo, I'll ask you once more," Webber said when Domingo hesitated too long, "Can you prove that my client did the shooting?"

"N-no."

"So your word's standing against his. How convenient. No further questions, Your Honor," Webber said apologetically and smirked at Alex as he returned to his place. Now it was her show.

And Alex was ready. She got up from her seat and slowly circled her table. Fixating Domingo with a cold look she said, "Mr. Domingo, you said that your friend invited you for a _man's evening_ out. That's nice."

Domingo returned her smile, not realizing that he was baited.

"For how long has Pablo Mendoza been your friend now?"

"For several years."

"Ah, really." She played the surprised one and shot her next question, "And even if you knew him for years you had no idea how he was making his living?"

"No, Ma'am."

"But didn't you provide him with food for his club?"

Now he was in trouble. He could not deny this question.

"Yes, I did."

"But you didn't know what he was doing there?" Alex prodded.

"No."

"So you had no idea what was going on at the so called club?" Once she had asked this question Alex turned to the jury, her eyebrows raised to transport the question to them, too. She saw faces filled with concern. _Yes._

"No."

She was not surprised by his answer and urged him with, "What kind of club did you think he had?"

"A nightclub."

"A nightclub," she nodded as if she was thinking about that. "So do you make a habit of frequenting nightclubs where the waitresses are topless?"

If the courtroom still would have been filled with audience she might have gotten a suppressed or snorted chuckle in response, but now only Ramsey's objection broke the silence.

"The types of establishments where my client chooses to spend his evenings are not relevant to the issue at hand," he protested.

"Just like Mr. Webber, I have the right to challenge this defendant's credibility," Alex explained. "He claims to have known Mr. Mendoza for several years and to have supplied food services to his club, yet he denies knowing just what kind of business Mr. Mendoza was running."

Judge McKellen nodded. "Overruled. I will allow the questing."

"So, Mr. Domingo, how often do you frequent topless bars?" Alex's question hung in the air and made Domingo bite his bottom lip.

"I-I don't know."

"Once, twice a month?" Alex suggested. "More often?"

"No! No, Pablo's was the only club I was going to… this once."

"You've never been there before?" Alex asked in mock incredulity.

"No."

_That didn't sound convincing,_ the prosecutor thought.

"I could call several witnesses who would refute that statement," she said.

For a moment silence fell. Elliot felt it weigh on him in addition to the stare Mendoza still directed at him. He took a deep breath and then another. He would not be able to stand that for long. Should he turn away? Return the stare? That duel might push him over the edge.

He chose not to react.

Someone else was tempted to react, though. Right now Olivia was concentrating on Alex's questioning, but captain Cragen kept a furtive eye on his protégé, Elliot. He sensed that Mendoza's intrusive stare was upsetting the detective and put a strain on him even though the twitching of a muscle in his neck as he clenched his jaws was the only sign that he was tense. Cragen wondered if he should do something or if he would only add to Elliot's misery by embarrassing him. Finally he decided not to intervene… for now.

"Who were the women you were with when the police entered the club?" Alex asked.

"I don't remember their names," Domingo told her.

"Were they working at the club?"

"I think so."

"In which position were they working there?"

"In which position?" Domingo echoed.

"Yes."

"Um… they worked as waitresses, I think."

"So they served you with drinks?"

"That's what waitresses usually do, right?" he returned with a nervous chuckle. When no one laughed with him, his smile fell away.

"I see. And I thought you had asked them for more personal services. Is that what you did, Mr. Domingo?"

"Come again?"

"You received intimate services from them?"

Suddenly Domingo blushed. It was even more surprising as it was totally unexpected. Did this man still have something like a conscience?

"Y-yes," he mumbled. "Pablo… he had invited me."

"And he provided the prostitutes, is that correct?"

"Um…"

"They were the women he had bought, incarcerated and forced to work in the whorehouse, weren't they?" Alex did her best not to snarl. She did not want to show her anger.

"Y-yes," Domingo caved in.

"And you were running this _business_ together with Pablo Mendoza, right?"

"Y-yes."

"So you knew where you were and what was going on there?"

"Yes," he answered sheepishly.

"And still you did not realize that it really was the police who entered the house?" Now Alex tried to sound surprised.

"N-no."

"But didn't you have to expect the police to discover your illegal business?"

"No."

"No? Why didn't you expect that?" Now Alex was surprised.

"Pablo took precautions. It should never have happened."

Finally Elliot was relieved of the stare that had pierced him when Mendoza turned to look at his treacherous partner. Sighing Elliot sat back in his chair.

"Precautions?"

"Yeah. He paid people for protection."

Cragen, Olivia and Elliot caught their breaths. That was news to them.

"So when you were surprised by the police, you were scared and you fled the building… you were cornered by the Detectives Benson and Tutuola, right?"

"I think so. I didn't know their names or that they were police."

"They didn't identify themselves?"

"I… don't remember."

"Do you remember what happened next?" Alex sensed that she was almost there. Almost!

"Pablo shot at them."

"And what did you do?"

Once more he blushed. "Hid behind the car," he murmured.

"I see. Wasn't it the fact that you also had a weapon? You knew you were cornered and so you shot at them to get away? Is that what happened?" He didn't answer. "Mr. Domingo! Tell me! Is that what you did? You felt trapped and shot? You defended yourself? Or did Mendoza order you to?"

"He shot!"

"Why?" Alex pushed, getting closer to the stand. Her face was stoic, but her insides rumbled with excitement.

"He just shot!"

"And you shot, too? You saw the strange people, you saw the weapons? Heard yells?"

"Yeah." Domingo's look became haunted.

"And Mendoza shot. Did you follow his example?"

"I…"

"You shot at the detectives?"

"Yeah!" Too late he noticed that he had fallen for her trap.

"No further questions."

Satisfied with her own work Alex returned to her place.

In his seat at the other table Mendoza was fuming. His dead glares were not directed at Elliot anymore, they burnt holes into Domingo.

"You're dead," he mouthed silently as Domingo returned to his own chair and the younger Columbian cringed.

"Do you have further witnesses to call, Mr. Ramsey?" Judge McKellen asked.

"No, Your Honor."

"Mr. Webber?"

"No, Your Honor," Webber also declared.

"Miss Cabot?"

"The prosecution rests, Your Honor," Alex said.

"Very good then. I want this case over today so the press will stay away from my courtroom. We will hear the closing arguments in two hours."

Everyone stood when Judge McKellen banged her gavel, rose from her chair and left to her chambers. Webber, Ramsey and their clients as well as the jury also left the courtroom. When the few other people who attended the trial filed out, too, only the cops and Elliot's family remained seated on the benches.

"Don't you want to go out for a moment?" Alex asked as she walked up the aisle.

"I think we're okay where we are," Jarod O'Hara said. "Or does anyone of you want to leave?" he turned to his family.

None of them looked as if they wanted to and no one responded either. So Alex was the only one who left. Silence fell over the courtroom. The atmosphere became so thick that you could have cut the air with a knife. Only minutes later Elliot could not stand it anymore. Suddenly he shot up from his place, grabbed his crutches and started to squeeze past Olivia and Cragen. Both skidded sideways on the bench, out of the row, to make room for him to get out. Wordlessly Olivia followed him when he limped out of the courtroom.

Surprised Elliot noticed that the press was not waiting right in front of the door. When he looked to the left he saw a whole bunch of reporters swarming Webber. So he turned to the right and hobbled down the hall to the lounge before they could spot him. A few people already were in there, waiting, so Elliot stopped short on the threshold and continued down the hall to a vending machine. He stared at it, but didn't buy anything.

"You want something?" Olivia asked.

"No." He was a bit irritated by her following him, but then he made up his mind. Hobbling further down the hall he led her to an alcove. There he leaned against the windowsill.

"Do you want to talk?" she kindly queried.

Elliot grimaced. _No, I don't want to talk, but I can't get this out of my head._ He just could not find out how to start. A lump stuck in his throat and he felt the urge to flee his partner. Still he stood and fought with his thoughts. If he wanted to know he had to ask her.

"Liv," he finally croaked, "what happened at the hospital… I mean…"

"Elliot, please." Even though she knew him as well as she did, she could not help feeling hurt. "You don't really think that I would talk about what happened during your exam, do you?"

"What? No." He choked. "I'm asking about… Kathy. I don't w-want to know what… but…"

Slowly it dawned on Olivia, but she wanted him to ask her… and start talking. To see his inner turmoil reflected on his features was hard on her.

It took a short while until Elliot could ask, "W-was she… taken good care of?"

Olivia felt chills run down her back when Elliot asked about his wife. "I can't talk about her exam, you know that."

Elliot shuddered. Olivia mentioning the _exam_ made him fully realize that it _did_ happen to Kathy. It. The _thing_ he always had feared to happen. Then it took on meaning for him what Olivia had said.

"Did you stay…?" Pleadingly he looked at her.

To see him that vulnerable made Olivia's insides constrict. "…stay with Kathy?" she asked. "Yeah, I did. I was with her the whole time."

Elliot did not answer to that. He could not. Olivia saw how he fought against his tears, trying to prevent them from shooting to his eyes, and resisted the urge to pull him into a hug. Given the circumstances she was not sure how he might take that.

"Thank you," he suddenly whispered, barely loud enough for her to hear it.

"Forget it," she tried to ward it off, but judging Elliot's expression she only made it worse.

"Never!" he gasped. "I'll never forget that!"

Uncomfortable silence fell between them. Olivia's view was captivated by Elliot's intense gaze. His clear blue eyes were brimming with tears he did not want to let fall. Though he wanted to tell her so much he could not find any word to express it, and Olivia could not find a way to talk to him right now either.

So they stood in the alcove, saying nothing. After a while, they both turned to stare out the window at the traffic and Olivia desperately hoped her presence gave Elliot as much comfort as she got from having him there beside her. From time to time he shifted his position to unburden his ankle, but he did not want to move to one of the benches. He felt too restless to sit again. The next time Olivia glanced at her watch she was surprised to find that the two hours were almost over already. She gestured Elliot to return and he followed her back to the courtroom.

When they entered everyone already was seated and Judge McKellen just said, "Now we will hear the closing arguments. Miss Cabot?"

Deliberately slowly Alex rose from her chair again and approached the jury. Right in time Fin and Mr. O'Hara slipped in and made their way over to where Elliot and the others were sitting to take their places, too. Taking a deep breath Alex started to speak.

"Just recently I had an experience which reminded me of the really incredible power of simple, logical reasoning," Alex started. "I was visiting a friend and we were sitting in her living room. She had a little boy and my friend had left him in his room with a coloring book and a box of crayons. We were chatting and drinking coffee without worrying because it had been quiet for some time until we finally had the idea to check on him. When we entered his room he stood there in the middle of it, holding a blue crayon. All over the lower part of one wall were blue crayon markings.

"And that's what reminded me, because this is a good example of circumstantial evidence. My friend's young son was not caught red-handed, drawing on the wall, but everything pointed to him as he was alone in the room and the _writing was on the wall_. Only one logical, common-sense conclusion could be drawn: that my friend's little boy ruined the wallpaper with his blue crayon.

"Now, the writing, the circumstantial evidence, is on the wall in this case, too. Just think about it. Let's talk about the evidence in this case. What is the writing on the wall?

"It's the forensics report proving that the bullets shot at detectives Benson and Tutuola were fired from the weapon secured at the crime scene. It's the security footage of the club showing Mr. Mendoza and Mr. Domingo as they entered the garage. It's the statement of Detective Benson. It's the statement of Detective Tutuola. It's the statement of Detective Stabler."

When she said these last words everyone turned to Elliot who did his best not to cringe under the intense stares. Among all the other gazes Elliot once more felt Mendoza's eyes on himself which made him almost physically sick and he shuddered.

Now Cragen could not stand any longer how Mendoza tried to outstare Elliot with killing glances. The captain got up and went into the other row to position himself between the two men in order to obstruct Mendoza's view of Elliot.

Reassuringly Olivia squeezed her partner's hand. When she looked around at him her gaze went past him at Kathy who eyed her intently. Something in this look was urgent, but she could not determine what it was. After another moment of them staring at each other Kathy smiled tiredly, glad that her husband's partner would take care of him when she could not. She sat back and resumed comforting her children.

Elliot was oblivious to the silent exchange between his wife and partner, because he was too busy keeping his boiling rage in check.

"The defense explained that the defendants were not acting at all in one case and acting in self defense in another. We, the people, presented evidence which proved that this argument is unsustainable. Statements are substantiating the evidence as much as evidence is supporting the statements.

"It is your responsibility now to take into consideration all presented evidence and statements to come to your decision. I am confident that when you read the writing on the wall, you will find that it contains a single message. It will tell you that both of the defendants are guilty. Thank you."

Alex returned to her place and Ramsey was the next who stepped up to the jury. The ADA knew that it was not easy for the defense attorney as he got hired last-minute. Alex could see that he was thinking hard and she could not blame him. His client had confessed. There was not much he could do anymore.

And so he did not say very much before he sat down again and left the stage for Webber. Dramatically Mendoza's defense attorney stood and circled the table. He made quite a show just approaching the jury. He also sounded theatrical when he began to speak.

"The Defendant, Mr. Pablo Mendoza, is now afforded the opportunity to argue the case. But that's not what I'm going to do, I won't argue with you, ladies and gentlemen. I'm going to try and discuss the conclusions which can be drawn from the presented evidence.

"According to Miss Cabot, the prosecution has a well-built case against my client, but let's look at the evidence. A gun was found, shots were fired with it. But did the people prove that my client was the one shooting at the detectives? No.

"Do you play cards, ladies and gentlemen? I like cards. I admit that I like to play poker. But I also like to build houses of cards. Did you ever try that? That can be a puzzle. Let us stay with this picture now. Do you see the house of cards? That's what the people tried to do, build a house of cards. But it's only as stable as the first foundation card. That foundation card has Detective Stabler's name on it. His statement connects Mr. Mendoza with the weapon involved."

For a moment Webber paused for effect. From where he was standing he could look straight at Elliot and everyone's eyes followed his gaze. Once more Elliot was subjected to scrutinizing stares that left him feeling quite uncomfortable. Slowly Webber nodded and turned back at the jury, kneading his hands.

"You have heard that he implicated himself in inconsistencies. He admitted to lying on the witness stand. Is that a statement that can support the prosecution's case? Is that foundation card strong enough to support the opposition's house of cards?

With one hand Webber leaned on the rail in front of the jury, fixating each jury member one after the other with a piercing look.

"Now it is up to you to decide what to believe. Taking the statements into account the people's case is weak. Does the evidence prove Mr. Mendoza's guilt?

"If, in light of the utter lack of any hard evidence against my client and considering Detective Stabler's rather muddled testimony, you believe that a reasonable person might have doubts about my client's guilt, then your decision has to be in favor of the defendant. It has to be not guilty on all counts.

"Thank you."

Looking at the jury sternly one last time Webber turned on his heels and returned to his table. As he sat down Mendoza started to whisper with him.

Exhausted Elliot sank against the backrest of his chair. He had not been conscious that he had been so tense. Now he felt every muscle hurt. Over at the table Mendoza was talking to his lawyer. They kept their voices low. Then they were interrupted by Judge McKellen who declared another recess until the jury returned with its verdict. Both defendants where taken to holding. Once they were gone Judge McKellen instructed the jury and sequestered it.

Alex sighed. _That's five_, she thought, remembering the five steps she had imagined when she made her plan. _My work is done._ _Now it's up to the jury._

"That's it," Cragen murmured. "All we can do is wait now."

Taking a deep breath Elliot prepared for what he wanted to say. Lizzie climbed from her seat beside him on his lap where she snuggled up to his chest. That did not make it easier on him.

"I want to stay and wait," he said.

Kathy froze. Incredulously she stared at her husband.

"Elliot! No!" she panted. "Why do you want to stay? We don't have to. I'm sure your colleagues will let you know what the verdict is."

"I have to be here when they're sentenced," Elliot mumbled. "I don't think that the jury will take too long."

"Elliot! That can take forever!" Kathy was about to explode. "You can't be serious!"

But he was. Olivia, Fin and Cragen cleared their way when they retreated to the lounge where they could wait in private until the jury would return with the verdict. As soon as they went in the couch was occupied by Kathy and the children. Elliot remained standing, watching them.

"Elliot, you're beat," Kathy reprimanded him. "Take a seat."

Way too tired to contradict her he did as he was told and sank down in one of the easy chairs, but he did not stop watching his family. Kathy leaned in the left corner of the couch, her head now resting on the backrest and the kids snuggled up to her and their older sister, Maureen who leaned in the right corner, reaching out for her dad's hand. Elliot took and squeezed it. Maureen did the same and closed her eyes. It did not take long until she fell asleep, her hand becoming slack in her father's.

"Sleep well, baby," he murmured. Leaning forward he draped her arm over Kathleen's sleeping form. When Elliot looked at the others they were asleep, too.

"You should rest, too, son," someone right next to him said, gently but sternly.

When Elliot turned his head he looked right into the dark green eyes of Jarod O'Hara, his father-in-law. Thoughtfully he nodded.

"I don't know if I can, Jarod," he mumbled.

"You should at least try," Jarod told him. "Come on, lean back and close your eyes."

How Elliot yearned to do that, but just the thought of bringing himself into a vulnerable position made his insides constrict and the idea of leaving his family unprotected scared him to death.

It was as if Jarod would have read his mind when he said, "You're safe here. Kathy and the kids are safe here, too."

Doubtfully Elliot looked at him.

"We're at court, your colleagues are here and the men got arrested. You can _feel safe_." Encouragingly Jarod nodded at him. When he took his hand he felt it tremble. _My poor son,_ he thought. _This is going to be very tough on you for a while._ He wished for the strength to help him through his ordeal. Even though he had addressed him quite familiarly now, and they treated each other with respect, their relationship was not as close as one might assume.

While growing up in the same neighborhood Elliot had always been friends with Katherine O'Hara. They met each other at school and at masses. Her parents liked him, but even though Elliot knew that he was welcome at their house he always was reluctant to accept their hospitality.

When Kathy was expecting Rebecca Joyce and Jarod Lloyd Seamus O'Hara had been shocked at first, but then they became very supportive. They could not help the young couple through every hardship but they did what they could. After Maureen was born they proved to be great grandparents who directed with a helping hand while they were careful not to interfere.

Elliot knew that they did not approve his decision to become a police officer at first but his family needed the money and once he was on the job he grew with it and made detective at a relatively young age. It had been hard to get to this point, but when they got there everything seemed to turn out fine.

And now _this_!

Elliot was ashamed beyond belief that he had not been able to protect his family. That he had done everything he could in the position he had been forced into did not register in his distressed mind. All he could think about was the humiliation of failure.

Withstanding his tiredness was not an option for long. His fatigue claimed Elliot only a few minutes later and he leaned into the easy chair, dead to the world.

_He looks peaceful,_ Olivia thought, _but that impression may be deceiving. I guess that this nightmare will haunt him for a long time._

His partner was not the only one who was watching Elliot and his family furtively. For a while nobody spoke. They all were just waiting. One after the other was taking a place either in the remaining easy chairs or on other chairs.

They sat in silence, waiting.

A few minutes later Alex Cabot joined them. She just glanced at the Stablers and went over to where Olivia was sitting.

"I'm sure they need it," Alex murmured and Olivia nodded.

"Anything new?"

"Not yet. It's too early. They've only been deliberating for a few minutes." Alex leaned against the wall and sighed. "And I have a feeling this will be a very long deliberation."

_I really hope that you're wrong,_ Olivia thought. _I don't want to fathom hours and hours of waiting in here._

Alex sighed and Olivia automatically asked for the reason.

"I'm not so sure anymore that I did everything right," Alex admitted. "When they were free and I got Elliot back up on the stand the rest of the trial stood clear before my inner eye, but now… I don't know. Maybe I was too confident. Webber's cross interrogation and his closing arguments were good. Ramsey did not do much, but what he did was way better than what I expected."

"Don't torture yourself, Alex," Olivia murmured. "You did everything you could and you did it well. Now it's taken out of your hands. I'm confident that the jury will draw the right conclusion. They won't let them get away."

"I wish I could be so sure." Once more Alex sighed. In vain she looked around for a chair. They all were already occupied. "I'll wait in my office," she said and was gone again before Olivia could offer her own seat.

The detective watched the attorney leave and settled back down into her chair, bent her head back against the wall and tried to relax. Long hours on duty and in Mrs. Lavender's house had taken their toll and so Olivia drifted off to sleep, too.

Hours passed and the sun was throwing long shadows when Elliot stirred and was startled awake. Confused he looked around but realized quickly where he was. Stretching his sore limbs he shifted his position and tried to go back to sleep. This time it did not work. Instead he became edgy.

"Elliot?"

Sitting up straighter Elliot turned to his partner and said, "I'm okay. At least I guess so." His features crumbled and he ducked deeper into the cushions.

_You're not. _Olivia wondered if she should address his inner turmoil but decided against it.

"Do you hurt?" she asked. "Do you need one of your painkillers? Something to eat or to drink?"

Squinting up at her without raising his head Elliot grunted a no.

"You sure?"

"Yeah," he grumbled. "I don't think that I can keep anything down."

"Maybe you feel sick _because_ you didn't eat," Olivia suggested. "You could try just a few bites and see how it goes."

"Thanks, _Mom_, but no thanks."

"Elliot…"

"No."

With some effort Elliot pushed himself up out of the chair. Grabbing his crutches he hobbled over to the door. After a quick look outside he decided that the coast was clear. Not a single reporter could be seen. Slowly Elliot made his way to the men's room. When he came out again Olivia was waiting.

"Coffee?" she asked, holding up a Styrofoam cup for him.

"You don't know when to give up, huh?"

"That's why you love me," she teased with a wink and held out the cup.

Flashing a small smile he took it while she got one of his crutches. He could walk, it just was not recommended to put a strain on his ankle. Just as they sat down on one of the benches in the hall Fin left the lounge. Olivia looked at him expectantly, but he shook his head and wandered over to join them.

_Maybe Kath's right._ Elliot rubbed his temple. Now that he had slept a bit his headache was not as bad anymore. _Maybe we should go. We… I would find someone who'd let us know as soon as the jury came back._

But Elliot knew that he could not and would not do that. He knew that he would not be able to rest or concentrate on anything else as long as he did not know the verdict.

Abruptly he spoke into the silence embracing them, "Thanks for finding them. Thanks for getting them out. I… I couldn't…. I couldn't…"

What he could not they would not find out right away as he caught his breath when people filed out of another courtroom and came down the hall. Beside Olivia, Elliot went rigid. He abandoned the coffee cup and his hands clawed at the edge of the bench. Olivia grabbed the cup before it took a fall and tried not to stare at her partner.

Taken by surprise by Elliot's reaction, Fin did not know what to do right away, but then he turned and positioned himself casually between Elliot and the passing people. They strolled past the three detectives chattering. When they were on level with the cops Olivia heard a faint gasp and saw the knuckles on Elliot's hands turn white. Glancing up she noticed that Fin turned his back on her and her partner.

Uncertain if it would be the right reaction Olivia withstood the impulse of taking Elliot's hand. She did not want to embarrass him. Any display of compassion, as well-intentioned as it might be meant, might push him over the edge. Still she yearned to comfort him, but she did not know how.

Looking at him furtively now Olivia noticed that Elliot really looked beat. The constant threat and abuse had left him physically and emotionally exhausted, and the strain of testifying had only added to it. Given that fact she was surprised that he did not sleep in the easy chair like he was in a coma.

"Honestly, I mean it," Elliot suddenly murmured. "Thanks for saving my family."

"Any time, man," Fin said lightly. "Hey, I'm gonna grab something to eat. You want anything?"

"I'd like to have a cheeseburger and fries, plus a raisin roll," Olivia told him. "Elliot? What about you? And we should get something for Kathy and the kids, too."

"I'm not hungry," Elliot mumbled. "You should ask them if they want anything."

"Okay." With that Fin left them alone.

Worriedly Olivia eyed her partner. She did not like the subdued way in which he had spoken to them. She saw his brows knitting and he was chewing on his bottom lip. Sure signs that his mind was working on overdrive.

"I'm grateful that you helped us even though…"

He could not finish his sentence because his voice failed him. And Olivia's heart skipped a beat and then another as she heard him say it.

_Even? Even though what?_ In her chest her heart started pounding frantically.

"…even though… I b-betrayed… you and Fin."

The impact of these words winded Olivia and she gasped for breath.

"Are you kidding me?" she panted. "Elliot! How can you say that? You didn't betray us. You were forced to lie, forced to be disloyal to everyone and everything you believed in. And we let you down."

"You didn't let me down!" His voice rose in register as he said that. "You trusted me to bring your attacker to prison and now he might be acquitted because I let them… because I _lied_ on the stand. Still you helped my family…"

"Stop!" she cried out desperately. "Elliot, don't!"

Tears shot into Olivia's eyes. Of course she knew that Elliot might feel responsible for what had happened to them, but that he felt unworthy of her and the squad's help left her breathless and agitated. It tore her heart apart.

Following her impulse she wrapped her arms around him to hug him tight.

"Oh, Elliot. Nothing of what happened was your fault. You didn't make any mistake. You're not responsible. You were forced. You were tortured." She felt him tremble violently when she said that. "You're my partner and best friend. I trust you with my life, Elliot. That I didn't notice that you're in trouble will haunt me forever. Whatever I did to help you it was not enough. It was not enough because every minute longer I needed to get those guys was a minute longer you had to suffer. And it breaks my heart."

Elliot could not stop trembling. Helplessly he slumped into her embrace, tears streaming over his face. Olivia wished she could relieve him of his grief just by holding on to him, but she knew that that was an illusion. All she could do was offer her help and hope that he would accept it. So she sat on the bench, cradling her partner in her arms, stroking his back in circles, and humming soothing tones without being conscious of doing it.

"We have to give our statement," he suddenly whispered close to her ear.

"That can wait until tomorrow. You all need some proper rest."

His dry laughter sounded choked. "Rest?"

"Sure, Elliot. A nap on the lounge's couch doesn't count as proper rest. You need a bed and a good night's sleep."

Why this thought scared the crap out of him Elliot could not tell. The thought of _sleep_ was what left him agitated at once.

"It's a crime scene," he rasped. "We can't go back."

Olivia knew that he was right. The Stablers could not go back to their house in Glen Oaks. The forensics team still was working there and when they were finished, the house would be sealed. But Olivia also knew that Kathy's parents had offered them quarters at their house in Queens. Obviously Elliot did not think of that right now or he had not heard of it yet.

"We'll find a solution," Olivia murmured and continued to comfort him.

Elliot fell silent again, a tremor passing through his body from time to time. He did not have the urge to talk and Olivia was fine with that. She did not have to talk either.

When finally a familiar voice shook her out of her trance-like state Olivia needed a moment to focus on Alex. The prosecutor refused to voice or let show any thought she might harbor in the face of the two detectives.

"The jury's about to return," Alex said and pivoted around to go to the courtroom.

So Olivia gently shook Elliot's shoulder. When he looked up at her shame reddened his cheeks.

_God, I'm pathetic. Crying over things I provoked. Serves me right to have drawn their wrath on me. It's all my fault._

"Elliot?"

"I heard her," he snapped.

Surprised but not annoyed Olivia noticed his swing in mood. Knowing her partner for years she was convinced that he would be tough to handle for some time. So she got up and reached out for him invitingly.

"Come on. We waited so long to hear the verdict, don't let us miss it now."

Grumbling something under his breath and ignoring Olivia's outstretched hand Elliot got up and followed her. In the courtroom they sat in the same seats they had occupied during the last session. The defendants and their lawyers took their places and the jury filed back into the jury box. Then Judge McKellen came in and took her seat at the bench, accompanied by the rising and sitting people in the gallery.

Everyone was tense and made the air in the courtroom so thick that you could cut it with a knife. In this charged atmosphere silence weighed on the attendees.

Nervously Elliot squirmed in his chair as he once more felt Mendoza's gaze on him. Even though it was blocked by Cragen, Elliot knew that the Columbian was staring at him. He also knew that Mendoza could not do anything to him in here, but glancing at him around his captain Elliot recognized the unspoken threat in the dark stare. Chewing on his lip again Elliot tried to ignore Mendoza… and failed miserably. Once more his gaze was drawn to the defendant and met the dark eyes which tried to pierce him with death glares. Quickly Elliot turned his head away, sat back in his chair and silently cursed himself for being frightened so easily.

"Has the jury reached a verdict?" Judge McKellen asked right then.

"Yes, Your Honor," the spokesman of the jury answered, rising from his chair.

"So in the case the people versus Luca Domingo, on two counts attempted murder, how do you find?"

"We, the jury, find the defendant… guilty."

_Phew…_ Elliot let out a breath he did not know he had been holding. _That's it. Now he's going to prison.__ Well, at least Domingo will. What about Mendoza?_ Anxiously he waited for the jury's spokesman to continue.

One count after the other the jury ruined every hope of Domingo to get out of prison anytime during the next twenty to thirty years.

And Mendoza? While the Columbian could barely contain his rage his former friend Domingo became awfully silent. He stood with his head bowed while the jury delivered the verdict. So he did not notice the death glares Mendoza shot first at him and then at Elliot.

Even Cragen cringed under the intense gaze and then he noticed that Mendoza's stare drifted away, going past him. When the SVU captain turned his head he noticed that Elliot had changed his position and caught the full intensity of Mendoza trying to outstare him.

Though Elliot could assume that the jury would convict the two defendants on identical charges based on identical testimony, he still could not be sure. So far they only found Domingo guilty and maybe they believed that he was solely responsible.

_Please! See them for what they are and send them both to prison!_ Elliot cried out inwardly, drawing on his trust in the jury to help him muster the strength he needed to return Mendoza's stare. _You won't subdue me again!_ Elliot swore to himself as he straightened in his seat and now stared down Mendoza with the full force of his icy blue eyes.

Olivia noticed her partner's change of behavior and felt an inexpressible pride that threatened to burst her chest. _Go, El, go!_ she thought, cheering inwardly for him. Glancing sideways she saw that Kathy watched him, too. Her eyes also were filled with pride as well as with determination. The kids were oblivious to the exchange of looks and followed the sentencing.

In front of the gallery at the prosecutor's table Alex Cabot still was harboring doubts.

_I hope that you were not fooled by Webber. Domingo and Mendoza are guilty as charged. There's no doubt about that. But the incident with Elliot's family. God! I hope that it did not blow the trial at last. And the cross examination. Did I do such a good job of proving Domingo is a liar that the jury just wouldn't see that Mendoza is guilty, too? Would the jurors think that he's solely responsible?_

Then she directed her attention back to the court because Judge McKellen just addressed the jury again.

"So in the case the people versus Pablo Mendoza, on two counts attempted murder, how do you find?"

"We, the jury…"

tbc…


	44. Chapter 44

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Wasn't that a great cliffhanger? I thought I should rouse you a bit. LOL Thanks for the reviews. :D Looks as if this might become a never-ending story. LOL We'll see. At least a few chapters are still to come. For now enjoy this one. :D Special thanks again to _JO_ for her great beta-work.

**44**

**Criminal Court**

**100 Centre Street**

**Manhattan**

"We, the jury, find the defendant… guilty."

_Yeah! That's it!_

Now all Elliot felt was a deep satisfaction. They had won! Mendoza would go to prison! Even given all his efforts, his brother could not save him.

A load was taken off all their minds.

Alex took a deep breath, held it for a moment and let it out with a rush.

Olivia sighed.

Cragen grunted his consent.

Fin punched his right fist into his left hand.

Dickie said _yay_ and slapped his hand over his mouth even before Kathy could shoot him a glance.

Maureen reprimanded her brother because their mom did not.

Rebecca squeezed Jarod's hand and her husband squeezed hers in return.

Kathy hugged Kathleen.

Lizzie grabbed her father's arm and hugged him.

No matter how different their reactions were, they all expressed the same, relief. The rest of the trial finished almost unnoticed by them. Only Alex played her role in the game. Then the session finally was closed and the prisoners taken to holding.

When Elliot, his family and his colleagues left the courtroom the press was back. They pushed microphones into their faces and Cragen, Olivia and Fin, along with Alex and Jarod O'Hara did their best to shield the Stablers from them.

"Detective Stabler! Is it true that you were threatened by Mendoza?" a man to Elliot's right yelled.

The detective cringed. This was almost as bad as being mentally tortured by his captor.

"We heard you were taken hostage! For how long?"

"Were you forced to change your testimony?"

"Did they hold your family, too?"

That was one question too much. The mention of his family was the straw that broke the camel's back and Elliot spun around, ready to tear the nosy reporter to pieces.

Jarod and Fin quickly were at his side, holding him back and saving the man from getting his nose busted.

"Cool it, Elliot," Fin murmured in his colleague's ear. "He's not worth it. C'mon." Together with Jarod he dragged Elliot away.

Still the press did not leave them alone. They were following them down the hall, yelling, scaring the kids who grabbed for the hands of the adults. Kathy could sense their rising panic and tried to calm them murmuring reassurances, Rebecca close to her side.

Suddenly one of the reporters yelled something about Webber leaving, too, and the bunch of reporters turned around to swarm him.

Relieved to have escaped them the group around Elliot hurried to the elevator and rode down. Out of the courthouse Elliot took a deep breath. Darkness had fallen over the city which fought against it with millions of lights. Elliot's right hand wrapped around Kathy's left and squeezed it. It was the only affectionate gesture he could bring himself to show. Kathy glanced at her husband and her heart ached when he let go of her again.

_He'll need time,_ she reminded herself. _We all will need time to process what happened to us. I shouldn't try to push him._

In the middle of the sidewalk Elliot stopped and did not move anymore, undecided what to do. It was impossible for him to choose a direction, he just stood and looked incredibly lost.

"Where are we going now, Mom?" Kathleen whined. "Are we going home?"

So far Kathy had assumed that they would go to her parents, but she did not talk to Elliot about it yet. Helplessly Kathy turned to him, but by the look of him she could tell that he would not be any help.

xXx

**Special Victims Unit**

**Manhattan**

She found herself at the squad room. Not long ago they climbed into the cars and now she was at Elliot's precinct. Kathy could not believe it and she made sure that he knew that.

"Elliot! What the hell came over you to bring us here?" she screamed at her husband. "Didn't we go through enough? Do you give the kids even a moment's thought? We should go to my parents' house! There we can rest and then we can talk to your colleagues."

"Kathy…" Helplessly he rolled his eyes.

"Just grant us some rest! We all are exhausted, but you have to drag us to your squad! And stop rolling your eyes! I'm not through with you, Elliot Matthew Stabler! You could at least have the decency to…"

"The crib, Kathy," he tried to interrupt her. She was calling him by his full name and that never was a good sign.

"…ask us our opinions! The kids want, no, they need a bed to sleep in! What are we supposed to do here? Do you want to put us through giving our statements right now?"

Unmoving Elliot stood and let her tirade wash over him. She was right and he did not want to contradict her. He just had his reasons for coming here and he waited for her to blow off steam before he explained them to her. When she had to draw a deep breath he tried to get through to her.

"You can sleep in the crib," he told her calmly. "It's not a first class hotel, but the beds still are comfortable. You'll be in good hands there."

"Why, Elliot?" Kathy demanded to know. "We could have our own rooms at my parents'! Why don't you want to go there?"

"He didn't get caught," Elliot mumbled. Looking around furtively he took her gently by her shoulder and guided her into the corner by the gun lockers. "Mendoza, he didn't get caught. He's still out there and…" His voice started to shake as did his hands. Tremors ran through his body. He was unable to control them and he could not say what was on his mind. _And I've already proven that I can't protect you_.

"Elliot? What are you talking about?" Seeing him so upset made Kathy uneasy. "Who?"

"The guy who was… in… in… charge." Elliot shivered with suppressed rage. "He left the house during the second night. Since then he's disappeared, no sign of him anywhere."

Kathy needed a moment to digest that. As the truth finally sank in her hands started to shake.

"We could go to a hotel," Elliot agreed, "but I would feel better if we stay here."

For a moment Kathy thought about that and decided that she could understand him. Still there was another possibility. "Why not my parents'?"

Confronted with this question Elliot felt a lump in his throat. Relieved as they all were about the hostage taking being over the last thing he wanted to do was scare his wife. But he could not lie to her either.

"They came to our house, Kathy," he said, mustering all the strength he had to keep his voice straight. "They intruded into our home, our privacy. They knew…" Elliot hoped that she would not ask him what they knew. "Isn't it likely that they know your parents' place, too?"

"Probably," Kathy mumbled, feeling slightly sick again. "But didn't all the others get arrested? This guy's alone. He won't dare to come back."

_He won't stay alone,_ Elliot thought bitterly. _I know that he'll be back. I feel it._

His thoughts were not unreadable for Kathy. She knew him long enough to know that he wanted to object.

"You think he'll be back," she said, "but you don't want to scare me. Is that what's on your mind?"

Elliot nodded and Kathy pulled him into a hug.

"I don't think that we have to worry about that tonight, El," she said. "Just let us get some rest… finally. Okay?"

"You can get that right here," he murmured. "Look at it this way. We don't have to pay for hotel rooms tonight and we can go to your parents' tomorrow…" For a second he hesitated. "When we have organized a protective detail."

"Elliot!" Kathy struggled to get out of his embrace and he let go of her.

"Don't argue with me about that," he cut her off before she could get started. "I won't leave you unprotected. Not again! I won't make the same mistake twice!"

"Which mistake? That you got overpowered by a whole group of heavily armed men?"

It had not been her intention to hurt him with that remark, but she saw him blush a dark crimson. It was more than obvious that in his opinion he had screwed up. It was his job to keep his family safe and he had failed miserably.

"No, Uncle Fin! Don't!" Lizzie squeaked as the detective tickled her sides. She squirmed in his embrace. Her siblings were laughing.

_The most wonderful sound on earth,_ Kathy thought, glad for the interruption. Making up her mind fast she stepped away from him and held out her right hand invitingly to her children.

"Time to go to bed, guys! Say goodnight to Fin and Olivia."

"Mom! We already slept!" Dickie complained.

"No complaints! We go, now."

"Moooom!"

"What did I say, young man?" she scowled at him.

Reluctantly he trotted over to her. With the children in tow Kathy started for the crib.

"Kathy?" her mother asked when she passed her. "Where are you going?"

"Not now, Mom," Kathy warded her off and went down the hall, the kids and Elliot following her.

xXx

"Come in here, Dad!" Kathleen whined, reaching out for her father who sat down on the edge of the bed instead.

"Isn't the bed full enough already?" he asked, smiling lovingly. Together with Kathleen, Maureen and Lizzie huddled up under the covers. Snuggling beside each other, they leaned against the wall behind the bunk and pulled the blanket up sideways.

"No, Dad, it isn't!" she contradicted.

"But if your father's joining in it will be," Kathy said who occupied the bed standing catty corner together with Dickie. "Give him some space, too. No one can rest properly if it's not possible to stretch out."

Kathleen pouted and got a stern look from her mother in response. For a while they sat together chatting, then Kathleen suddenly piped up, "Can you sing for us, Dad?"

Elliot panted with surprise.

"Honey, please don't take me wrong, but I don't feel like singing right now."

As he already had expected she looked at him disappointedly, her brows knitting as she thought feverishly how she could possibly change his mind. As sudden as Kathleen had come up with the general idea a mischievous smirk crept on Maureen's features.

"What is it, sweetie?" Elliot asked even though he partly dreaded what she would answer.

"We could sing a good song…"

"…if we have only one more person to sing!" Lizzie completed Maureen's sentence, grinning like the Cheshire cat.

"True."

"Ma nah ma na!" sang Dickie.

"Doot doo doot doo-doo!" replied the girls.

Elliot stared at them incredulously. At once he was reminded of the Muppets singing this song, the fluffy pink cow-like creatures, and the gnarly guy with the unruly orange hair, green fur tunic, and the gravely voice.

"Ma nah ma na!" Dickie sang again.

"Doot doo-doot doo!"

"Ma nah ma na!"

"Doot doo doot doo-doo, doot doo-doo, doot doo-doo, doot doo-doo doo-doo, doot doo, doo-doo doot!"

Now both Kathy and Elliot could not contain their laughter.

"C'mon! Join in!" Kathleen prodded, nudging Elliot's arm.

And Elliot could not withstand anymore. When they started the next round he fell in with the _ma nah ma na_. A third round followed during which Elliot could not stop himself from singing the eccentric _ma nah ma nas_ as they were so well-known from the _Sesame Street_.

The kids were cheering and Kathy smiled at him a warm smile filled with love and pride.

"Time to sleep now," Elliot insisted and tucked them back in, Kathleen and Lizzie in the bottom bunk, Maureen in the top bunk. After kissing each of them goodnight he sank down on the bottom bunk opposite from the girls' and pulled up the covers.

"G'night, Dad."

Then silence fell over the crib.

xXx

Lost in thought Olivia smiled to herself. Then she silently turned, pulled the door closed and returned to the squad room. Bustling activity greeted her. She went to her desk and sat down. Taking a deep breath she tried to ban everything from her mind, but it was a fruitless attempt.

"What's going on, Fin?" she asked.

"Well, the perps are all in a cell where they belong, except for this bastard Enrique Mendoza. And so far there's no trace of him."

"We'll have to find _La Hoja_," Olivia grumbled. "Even if it's the last thing we do."

"Yeah…"

For a while they worked in relative silence, reading files connected with the case in an attempt to find anything that might lead them to Enrique Mendoza.

No one really noticed captain Cragen's phone ringing. It was a way too common sound in a busy squad room. But they did notice their captain standing under the door to his office a moment later, silent, looking quite thoughtful.

"What?" it burst out of Olivia.

"Luca Domingo is dead," Cragen said.

"Really? How? Did he commit suicide?"

"No, he was found stabbed just half an hour ago," Cragen explained. "They couldn't save him, he lost too much blood."

"Crap!" Fin always was the direct one.

"Mendoza?" Olivia asked.

"You mean did he do it?" Cragen shook his head. "There are no suspects yet, no witnesses. Suddenly Domingo fell and that's it."

"Guess Mendoza had his hand in that pie," Fin grumbled. "He must've been mad at him for ratting on him."

Cragen nodded. As he did his gaze went past Olivia to the bullpen's entrance.

"Elliot. Is everything okay?"

Olivia turned around. And really, her partner was standing under the door, pale, obviously exhausted, supporting himself on the crutches. He hobbled over to his desk where he dropped into the office chair.

"No, but I'll ignore that," Elliot mumbled. "What have we got?"

"Ah, ah, Detective," Cragen reprimanded. "You're not working this case. Don't even think of it."

"I can't _stop_ thinking about it!" Elliot said vehemently. "I have to do something… anything."

"Well, we need to know as much about Mendoza as possible," Cragen said cautiously. He did not want to push Elliot. Actually he thought that the detective belonged in bed instead of at his desk.

"Did you hear anything about Munch?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah," Fin replied. "Looks as if he could go home tomorrow afternoon."

"Did he tell _you_ why he wanted to go to the different hospital?" Olivia queried. "Because it's Jewish?"

"Probably," Fin grumbled, "but my guess is that it rather has something to do with the lady doctor who's working there."

"The next ex-Mrs. Munch?"

"Who knows." Fin shrugged. "I got a call from CSU. Gonna go to the lab."

"Okay, see you." Olivia turned back to Cragen. "Should I go to the prison?"

"No, we won't work that case. Keep working on what you started."

"Okay." So she returned to her desk to resume her task.

"Come on, I'll help you," Elliot said, reaching out for a file.

"No way, partner. You're not going to work the case." Looking up at him she was reminded of the scene she had witnessed earlier and a smile played around her lips.

"What?" he asked, confused because he could not interpret her play of features.

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to eavesdrop, but I went to the crib earlier to ask if you need anything and I heard you sing… That was cool."

"Yeah?" He did not sound convinced.

"Yeah, I mean it. You have a great singing voice."

"I wouldn't call that croaking singing," he said, chuckling lowly.

"Don't be so modest. It really sounded great. You could participate in the annual charity talent show."

"Nah, I only sing for my kids or at church."

She grinned at him, then she looked down at her file again. Suddenly Cragen appeared next to Elliot.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

"Sure, Cap. Why not?"

"I just wanted to ask. Shall we go to the break room?"

Elliot nodded and took the lead up the stairs, Cragen following slowly as he used his crutches to help him up the steps. In the lounge, Captain and detective sat down on easy chair and sofa. As they did Cragen forgot what he had wanted to talk about. Unmoving and silent they just sat for a while. Cragen felt uneasy. It was quite unusual to be there together with Elliot Stabler and _not_ talk. The captain could have sworn that he felt his detective's brooding. It filled the air between them and heated up the atmosphere more effectively than a radiator would melt an igloo.

Still neither of them said a word, but Cragen felt that they were communicating anyway. They knew each other and while both kept their thoughts to themselves, they still had a very good feeling of what might be going on in the other's mind.

"Do you have a tape recorder here?" Elliot suddenly asked.

"No," Cragen replied, "but I could get one."

"Then do that," Elliot suggested.

Even though Elliot had made the start he did not look at his captain. Staring at his hands which rested on his lap he avoided a connection with him.

So Cragen withstood the urge to ask if he was serious and went to get his tape recorder. On his way back upstairs the captain slowed down his steps, dreading what he was about to be told and being glad that Elliot actually wanted to give his statement. He promised himself as much as his detective that he would carefully be watching out for any signs that it became too much for him. Then he would interrupt at once.

"Okay, there we go," Cragen said as he plugged in the recorder, put a tape in and started it. He spoke the necessary information about the date, time and persons involved on the cassette and then turned to Elliot.

"Why don't we start simple? Tell me when they came and what happened."

_Simple?!_

Inwardly Elliot screamed. He did not want to talk about it at all, but his cop-training was stronger. Knowing that he had to give his statement in order to first catch Enrique Mendoza and then get him convicted was what made him talk.

"We went to mass on Saturday evening because we were planning to go to the zoo early on Sunday."

Watching Elliot intently Cragen sat opposite of him, listening. He was aware of why Elliot started like that. Before he could get to the actual assault he had to build up his pace and rhythm.

"Everything was fine. It was a nice, sunny morning. I got up, went to the bathroom, took a shower, got dressed… Then… then I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen." His voice trailed off.

_If this is already putting a strain on him then we've got a looong road ahead,_ Cragen thought.

"I saw her eyes. They were big and bright and stared at me with this mixture of incredulity and pain, mental pain. She wasn't in a panic, but she was close. I should have protected her, but I didn't. I was too slow, I guess. I didn't realize what was going on until it was too late"

When Elliot did not continue by himself Cragen nudged him, "What then?"

Elliot swallowed. "I… I couldn't do anything. It all happened so fast. Someone pressed a gun against my head and then… I found myself lying prone. There were hands all over me."

Silently Cragen listened as Elliot breathlessly described the velocity with which his captors had overwhelmed him. It sounded as if they had practiced for the moment, or, more likely, they had done the same thing to other witnesses in other trials.

Eliot had wrapped his arms around himself and started rocking. Don imagined the motion comforted him, so he said nothing.

"One second I was going to have breakfast and the next… I was in the living room, tied up tight from my ankles to my chest and bound to a chair with a couple of men standing behind me. I don't even remember how they got me there from the kitchen. Then one of them came up to me. He called me Elliot. Said I could call him _Barry_. He had a bathrobe belt, one of the girls' I think, made a knot in it and… he… gagged me with it."

_God. The hidden symbolism._ Chills ran down Cragen's back. _I already feel sick with the thought of what they have done to him and he just got started telling me about it._

"They gave me shocks, um… used an electric cattle prod on me and then…" Elliot swallowed. "He started a fire… put… he… an iron."

_What?!_

Elliot's expression became distanced. His blue eyes did not hold any emotion when he stared straight ahead into far distances. It took some time before he started to talk again.

"First, he told me that he'd do to my family what he did to me if I didn't cooperate, but then he made a big deal of how he was preparing something special just for me and took the iron from the fire and branded my shoulder."

Once more Elliot fell silent. Cragen refused to ask anything. Obviously Elliot had to get back into his rhythm and he did not want to keep him from doing that. So Don remained still while Elliot described being allowed to use the bathroom, being manhandled and guided as he moved around his own home He had never asked why, but the captain knew his detective did not like being touched, so even that must have been a subtle, insidious kind of torture, and it made him shiver as he tried to imagine himself in Elliot's place, feeling stranger's hands on him. Finally, Elliot explained how they told him they were there to make sure he altered his testimony to favor Pablo Mendoza.

_I wonder how long they terrorized him before they told him what they wanted,_ Don thought. _They probably scared the shit out of him first and threatened his family hoping that would make him willing to do anything to get them to stop._ Inwardly, the captain smiled. _I guess he's just a hell of a lot tougher than they expected him to be._

"At one point, Barry…" Elliot fell silent, his brows knitting thoughtfully. "I don't know, shouldn't I call him by his real name? We know it now, but back then I didn't…"

"We know now that it was Enrique Mendoza who held you captive, but you should talk about it just how you remember it."

"Hmmm." Drawing his bottom lip in and chewing on it Elliot thought about it.

Suddenly Elliot laughed a bitter laugh. "_Barry_," he said the name like it was a profanity, "was concerned about me not having had breakfast, told me that we'd rehearse it once and would have lunch afterwards. He said that I must be hungry. No one can work with an empty stomach."

Talking about stomachs… Cragen's rumbled unpleasantly while he listened to Elliot's tale. His insides constricted with compassionate pain and he realized that what he had seen yesterday evening on the surveillance monitor only had been the tip of the iceberg.

"So, Barry made me practice my testimony, then one of his men brought in sandwiches. Barry made sure I ate something, but when we resumed working on the testimony I got sick and had to run to the bathroom…" Taking a deep, yet shaking, breath Elliot tried to gather his strength to go on with his tale. "I had to throw up and when I stood up again Barry was taunting me. I… I just couldn't stand it. I tried… to resist. And then… he stuck my head in the toilet… and flushed."

_Crap! He could have killed him right then! Bastard!_

"I think he did it three times," Elliot said tonelessly. "I don't really remember details of when he brought me back to the living room, but then the doorbell rang."

_John?_ Cragen thought.

"It was our neighbor, Teresa Deaver."

Don felt his chest grow tight around his heart. _Just how much has he been through?_ The fact that he was expecting Munch to appear in the story already, only to have it be a random neighbor dropping by for a visit slammed home the idea that forty-eight hours was a hell of a long time when it was spent in constant danger and worrying about one's family.

Elliot described getting rid of Mrs. Deaver, practicing his testimony, being taunted by Barry as he pretended concern for his captive's well-being, and hearing Munch leave a telephone message and being unable to respond.

Once more Elliot paused. He swallowed hard a few times, unable to keep talking. His features contorted with mental pain as he remembered what had happened next.

"Footsteps… I threw a paperweight through the window to warn her." His voice was barely more than a strained whisper. "But they caught her, too. Barry choked me and they brought Maureen upstairs. Next thing I knew… he pressed me in the couch cushions. Barry was mocking me, telling me that… that I-I… I'd be their slave."

_Wham!_

Elliot had to stop talking.

Cragen had to stop listening.

The captain reached out for the tape recorder and stopped the cassette. When he looked at it he noticed that he had to turn it anyway. So he took it out, flipped it over between two fingers and put it back in.

Actually Cragen felt sick now. _Did he ever mention how late it was when that happened? I have no idea. They had lunch, so it will have been early afternoon. We're still so faaaar away from Monday morning. So far he said nothing about John. When did Munch stop by at their house and got caught, too? What else happened to you and your family?_

"He threatened me to brand my ass, too," Elliot unexpectedly said. "The sign… it's the Mendoza family brand."

_Shit! The tape wasn't running._ Cragen cursed himself. When he looked up and met Elliot's eyes he knew that that did not matter. Even if he asked for it, Elliot would not repeat what he just said. _Well, I really don't think I'm gonna forget something like that in my notes._

Cragen's heart flew out to the detective. His father instinct made him want to embrace him, but he did not dare to do it. Even an affectionate, comforting gesture might be too much for Elliot. He did not want to risk that.

"Do you need anything? Something to drink? To eat?" Cragen asked.

"Nah. Just let's keep going. I think if I ate I'd just throw up again."

"Okay…"

Thoughtfully Cragen nodded. _Guess you're right. I already am sick._ In one way, it was surprising that Elliot acknowledged so easily how much recounting the events of the past forty-eight hours upset him, but at the same time, Cragen had to wonder what more he was covering up. Whatever it was, Cragen had no doubt it would surface sooner or later, and there was nothing to be done but let it happen, so he restarted the tape.

For several minutes, Elliot struggled painfully to describe how Barry used Maureen to force his obedience. Some of it was a repetition, but Elliot seemed to need it to get restarted with his tale. As difficult as it must have been for the father to place his throat in Barry's hands and allow himself to be choked, it must have been even worse for the young girl to have to watch it happen, knowing her father was only doing it to ensure her safety.

Earlier than he expected it himself Elliot began to struggle with his story again. His vision blurred and his breaths became short, ragged gasps. Desperately he tried to go on and found that the words got stuck in his corded up throat.

_It's wearing him down__, _Cragen thought_. Maybe we should just stop. He doesn't have to give his complete statement tonight. And before we continue we should get a psychiatrist involved._

Cragen was about to switch the recorder off when Elliot spoke again and the toneless and impersonal sound in his voice now chased chills down the captain's back.

"I was tied up again, brutally. I remember that I looked at the clock. It was ten past six. That meant that these men already were in our house for about ten hours. Since then I hadn't heard anything from Kathy or the kids… except for Maureen when she came home from visiting her friend."

Letting his hand run over his short hair he fought his emotions.

"I don't remember her friend's name. Isn't that funny? I can't remember it."

"That's okay," Cragen reassured him. "You'll remember it later."

"Will I?" Skeptically Elliot looked up at him for a moment. Then he shook his head and stared down at his hands for a while, giving Don time to think.

_I wonder if he'd work with Huang. They disagree more often than they share an opinion, and they have to deal with each other at work…_ Cragen's thoughts drifted off. _Work. __What if he's too traumatized to come back to work?__ On the other hand… he asked me to take his statement now,__ and the__ detective side__ of him is doing most of the talking. __He only gets stuck when Elliot comes through._

Inwardly Cragen admonished himself. _Elliot__ is not just__ an annoying uninvolved person who tries to keep Detective Stabler from testifying. I'm not dealing with Detective Stabler right now. These guys got him__ where he was most vulnerable__, and they got him good. They subdued Elliot, husband and father, __assaulted his home and threatened his family, to make D__etective Stabler comply with their demands. I don't dare lose track of that._

Elliot continued to stare into the far distance of his memories as he somehow found the courage to begin speaking again.

"As I was tied up and gagged and everyone else remained silent I had time to think. That wasn't pleasant… I sensed that I had to use the bathroom, but there was no way to let him know. When he took the gag out, he played this game with me."

"What game?" Cragen could not stop himself from asking.

"He asked my name, rank, other stuff… It was the first time he did it and he enjoyed it so much that he had to repeat it later.

"When he did, he made me change my rank… to… Detective first shit."

_God!_

"What other stuff?" Cragen asked in order to get Elliot's thoughts back on track.

"Who's in charge? What do I have to do? Why do I have to do it?" Elliot gave a bitter chuckle. "For him I was… I _am_… his property. He compared me with their cattle.

"_Barry_, Mendoza, told me that he owned me. Livestock, that's what I am, to him."

Cragen winced at the use of the present tense. It would take a long while for Elliot to put the events of the past few days behind him, and until then, all of the emotions, the anger, the fear, the humiliation, would be very much present with him.

"When he untied me, he left my ankles bound by a short length of rope. Just like he'd hobble cattle or his horse."

As Elliot flatly described performing simple tasks of using the bathroom and preparing a meal for Mendoza and his men Cragen's stomach churned with outrage for his friend. Elliot was a proud man, and for him to be able to speak so easily of such an indignity could only mean that something worse, something much worse, was coming.

"The doorbell rang while I was cooking," Elliot continued in an eerily matter-of-fact tone. "I thought it was Terry again, coming to see if Kathy had come home yet, but it was John."

"How did he get in?" Cragen asked. "I mean, if no one answered the door he would have gone and nothing would have happened."

"Nothing? He might have alerted the cops, he had called earlier and my car stood in the driveway. He could assume that someone was home and draw the right conclusion. So Barry told me to get him in.

"John never got suspicious. And when he had passed the threshold it was too late.

Elliot met his captain's eyes again, and the pain and anguish Cragen saw in his expression made his throat constrict.

"Tell him I'm sorry. I… I know I should have warned him off, but with Kathy and the kids in the house…"

"Elliot, it's all right," Cragen assured him. "I talked to Munch at the scene. We just heard from the hospital a while ago. He's going to be fine, and he's just glad…" Cragen hesitated, he had intended to say _he's just glad that everyone is all right_, but clearly, they were not all right and they would not be for a long time. "He's just glad we got everyone out in one piece, and he understands that you had to protect your family. He doesn't blame you."

Elliot eyed his boss skeptically for a moment and then nodded before he continued. He described how Munch was bound in the basement of the Stabler home and how Mendoza forced him to return some phone calls to prevent his colleagues from becoming suspicious. Then, finally, he was allowed to cook for his family.

"But I was too agitated. I dropped one of the pots, the one with the tomato sauce. So Barry made me clean it up. I was on my knees in front of him, wiping the floor and his shoes, and when he still wasn't satisfied he sprayed whipped cream on the tiles… and… and then…on me, too.

Cragen had to grit his teeth to keep from cursing. _That bastard! He must have known Elliot would obey as long as his family was in danger. Why did he have to humiliate him like that? _Almost immediately, the answer came. _He didn't just want to force his obedience, he wanted to break him. God, I hope he didn't succeed._

Elliot described the joy of seeing his family again, the surreal experience of eating a normal family dinner while surrounded by masked, armed thugs, and the agony of having his wife and kids taken away from him again so that he could practice his perjured testimony some more. As he spoke, he stared absentmindedly at the tape recorder. Cragen watched and listened, wondering what was going on in Elliot's mind. There was a brief pause, and Elliot frowned.

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I forgot something."

When he continued, Cragen encouraged him, saying, "That's okay. You can tell me now."

Elliot nodded and gave a shaky sigh. "B-before dinner Barry took me down to John again. He interrogated him, trying to find out how much he and the others knew, if they were in any danger. When John did not cooperate Barry made me play the _question game_ again, in front of John." Violently he shook his head in order to get rid of the painful memories. "Then he cut my chest, slowly, from the left shoulder across to the right side.

"That made John talk." Once more he laughed cynically. "Wish he'd have talked a bit sooner. Anyway, we had dinner next, they took them back upstairs and I had to work on the testimony. That was when Olivia called while I was working on my testimony after dinner. I tried to alert her, but couldn't say much without raising suspicions, so she did not notice anything wrong. Next thing I knew, I was laying on the couch, staring directly into a dark pair of eyes."

_What?!_

"Whose eyes?" Cragen asked at once.

"I thought they were Barry's," Elliot said impassively. "But now I think it was the guy they called Doc who took off his mask."

"I see. What happened next?"

Elliot swallowed hard.

"I-I… w-went… t-to bed," he croaked.

Now Cragen felt goosebumps settle on his back. Helplessly he watched how Elliot started to shake, not only his hands but his whole body was shivering. Cragen had no idea what might be so upsetting about going to bed, but seeing Elliot's apparent agitation left him breathless. Confronted with his friend's anxiety his voice was shallow when he addressed him again.

"Elliot?"

Choking back a sob Elliot tried to tell him what made him so terrified.

"B-barry ordered me to give him my right hand and he wrapped rope around my wrist. Then he told me to lie down on our bed, on my back. I… already suspected that he would want to secure me somehow, but… I guess I moved too slowly for his liking. When he… p-pushed me down… and tied the rope to the bars of the headboard… I panicked."

With every word he shivered even more and his breaths came in short, ragged gasps. His hands clawed at the couch cushions. Not for the first time Cragen wondered if it would not be better if they stopped, but something held him back. Even though Elliot was clearly frantic he gave the impression that he needed to finish this now.

"I tried everything!" he sobbed. "I wriggled, I kicked, I screamed, I bit… nothing worked. There were four men on me and they forced me down on the bed, one sat on my hip, and they tied my hands to the headboard…" Faster and faster he was talking until his voice almost broke. "Doc approached the bed… and untied my right hand to… straighten the arm. Another man helped him hold it and… Doc got a syringe and bottle out of his bag. He injected me with something and I felt how I lost control."

Now tears were streaming down his face and he hid behind his hands as he started to weep uncontrollably.

"I couldn't protect my family when I was awake… and… I… how should I when… when I'm unconscious?" he gasped between sobs. "The drug knocked me out! I could feel how it was taking my resistance away! All my strength drained out of me. There was nothing I could do! Nothing!"

Compassionate pain constricted Cragen's insides. As he got up he pressed the stop-button of the recorder, sat down beside Elliot and pulled the younger man into a tight embrace. Panic hit Elliot as arms wrapped around his body and he struggled.

After two long days under the sway of Mendoza's brother Elliot was no match for his captain. Cragen held him as strongly as he possibly could, feeling him shudder. And then Elliot could not contain his sorrow anymore. Crying out loud he freely shed his tears now, sobs shaking his body.

How long he sat, holding his friend and giving all the comfort he could, Cragen did not know. Eventually Elliot's sobs ceased and his breaths evened out. Exhausted he slumped in the embrace and had to give in to his fatigue.

For another moment Cragen waited, reveling in feeling Elliot breathe. Then he gently lowered him sideways on the couch. From the end of the sofa he picked a folded blanket up, got up and lifted Elliot's legs up on the seat. Carefully he spread the blanket over the detective's sleeping form.

"Good night, Elliot," Cragen murmured as he sank back into the easy chair he had occupied to watch over him. Leaning back he observed him silently for a while. Then his own fatigue caught up with him and he fell asleep.

tbc…


	45. Chapter 45

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews. :D Oh my, this took forever. I'm sorry, but I have no excuses. My muse came up with a new SVU-project and refused to let me work on anything else. I think she's not as fixated anymore. (At least I hope so). For now enjoy this chapter. :D

Special thanks go once more to my beta reader. JO rocks! Thanks for all your help.

**45**

**Special Victims Unit**

**Manhattan**

When Cragen woke up the next morning he was surprised that he did not hurt all over his body from having spent the night in the easy chair of their break room. Glancing over at the couch he noticed that it was vacated.

_Where's Elliot?_

A look at his watch told him that it was still very early. That explained why he did not hear the usual buzzing noises from below. The detectives had not yet arrived for their shifts. Giving himself a strong push out of the chair Cragen got up and stretched. Then he went to the stairs and as he walked down the left staircase to get to the coffee machine he spotted a single detective sitting at his desk.

_Shit!_

In the coffeepot on the machine Cragen found fresh coffee and so he took his mug from the stair's handrail and filled it with the hot, dark brew. Just for another second he could pretend to not being surprised, annoyed and worried and turned to go and sit in Olivia's office chair.

"What are you doing there, Elliot?" he asked.

"What does it look like?" the detective replied, glancing up at him innocently without raising his head. Then he turned back to the file he was reading.

"Looks as if you're working." Cragen did his best not to sound accusatory. Feeling the need for refreshment he sipped at his coffee. _Hmmm… I love Elliot's coffee…_ he thought. _No comparison to the __battery acid Munch makes__._

"Hm hmmm… Must be because that's what I'm doing."

"_Why_ are you doing that?"

Now Elliot looked straight at him, incredulously. "I'm getting paid for it."

"What are you working on?" Cragen wanted to know even though he had a strong suspicion what the answer would be.

"I'm trying to find him," Elliot said, rummaging through a stack of papers he obviously had gathered from other detectives' desks. "There must be something the others have missed. I can't believe that there's no lead at all that…"

"Stop it!" Cragen barked.

Elliot's head shot up and the stare he pierced his captain with could have frozen fresh lava.

"It's not your responsibility," Cragen said sternly before Elliot even could open his mouth. "You can help us by completing your statement, giving us all the information you can possibly remember, but you won't work this case. Got it?"

For a few painful seconds Elliot was back in his house, confronted by his captor, forced into another game of obedience. The file dropped out of his hands on the tabletop. Blinking rapidly he tried to chase his anxiety away.

"Yeah, got it," he croaked.

This sound gave Cragen the creeps. He did not want to make him more miserable than he already was.

"Sorry, Elliot. That was too harsh, but you know that you can't work this case, right?"

Avoiding Cragen's eyes Elliot nodded. Of course he knew, but he still could not sit and twiddle his thumbs while he watched his colleagues struggle finding his torturer.

"What about breakfast, Elliot?" the captain asked. "Coffee is great, but… what do you say? We could go and get breakfast for all of you."

"They're still asleep," Elliot said lowly. "I don't want to wake them. They need the rest."

"What about you?"

Thoughtfully Elliot looked at Cragen now.

"I'm not hungry," he finally answered. "I want to do something productive. Let me help!"

"No."

"Why not?!" he yelled. "I can do it! You know I can!"

Sighing Cragen tried to find the right words and finally decided that he would not find them.

"Do I know? I can't allow you to participate. You know the reason as well as I do. It's to protect you, Elliot."

"To protect me?" Elliot spat. "Where were you when we needed protection!?" He jumped out of his chair, starting to pace between the desks.

Even though Cragen had expected this question to come up sooner or later he was taken by surprise by the sudden explosion of emotions and he did not know what to tell him. All words he could think of paled in relation to what had happened to him. They would not be any comfort.

"I won't say that I understand what you're going through," Cragen murmured.

"Great!"

"But you have to understand my situation, too... I cannot ethically allow you to work this case. I respect you and your abilities, but I have to protect the case, too. Just the slightest hint of impropriety and the case will be shot. I'm sorry..."

Elliot froze in his tracks. Standing on the same spot for a moment suddenly made him aware of the pain creeping up his leg from where he had sprained his ankle. Clenching his teeth to suppress the pain he stood, slowly starting to tremble with the struggle. _Why the heck did I have to get up and pace without my crutches?_ He did not know if he was glad or not about standing with his back to Cragen, because he was not sure if he would make it back to his place.

Then he felt a hand on his shoulder and when he turned his head Cragen was right beside him. Wordlessly the captain offered him his own shoulder for support and then gave him the crutches.

"I know that rage is burning white hot inside of you. It does inside of me. But working your own case is not the right way to extinguish it."

"I feel so helpless," Elliot admitted with a huff. "I need to do something! I can't just sit and wait until, if ever, you arrest Enrique Mendoza!"

"We will arrest him," Cragen said, determined. "Even if hell freezes over."

A wave of gratitude washed over Elliot as he heard that but in the next second he felt a sharp sting of betrayal.

"Why? Why did it happen in the first place? Why did nobody help us?"

Stunned by this outburst Cragen did not know how to answer. In split seconds these words brought back his own helplessness. He sat in Mrs. Lavender's living room, staring at the screen and out of the window in turns and wished to be able to help Elliot. Once more he felt the raw pain which had clawed at his heart when he found out that the men had taken Kathy and Dickie away. As they did not know where they were they would put them at risk of getting killed if they tried to overwhelm the hostage takers. A risk he was not willing to take.

Just how should he explain that to Elliot?

The sound of a door being opened made both men turn their heads and as soon as Elliot spotted the man entering the squad room he backed off Cragen and hobbled away in the opposite direction to vanish in the interview room.

"Good morning," George Huang greeted. "I take it that I'm not welcome."

"Cut him some slack," Cragen murmured. "He's gone through so much."

"That's why I'm here."

"Don't take me wrong, George, but I don't think that he wants to work with you."

If these words had any effect on Huang he did not let it show.

"I'm here to offer my help to whoever needs it, no matter if it's Elliot, someone of his family or your squad. I witnessed some of what the hostage takers have done to them. I think I could be a help if they let me."

Thoughtfully Cragen nodded.

"I know. I just think that you're not the right one to treat Elliot. You work closely with each other…"

"…for him to feel comfortable talking to me?" Huang finished the captain's sentence. "We have talked before."

"About cases, about suspects, not about himself."

"All I'm saying is that I'm here in case I'm needed."

"Okay. I appreciate that." His gaze drifted to the interview room.

"You should try and see if he talks to a colleague of mine," Huang said.

"Elliot has worked with one of our psychiatrists before. He probably will do that again."

"Don't wait for Elliot to make the first step," Huang murmured, looking in the same direction now. "You should contact whoever worked with him and ask him or her to come here. May I ask who it was?"

"Dr. Skoda."

"Okay… Make his help an offer Elliot can't refuse."

"Maybe I should do that," Cragen mumbled. "You really think we should push Elliot so much?"

"He's caught between rage and denial," Huang mused. "It shouldn't be wrong to offer him support of any kind."

Cragen nodded and walked away from him to the interrogation room, but before he entered he made up his mind and went to his own office first to make a call. Through the one way mirror he could see Elliot sit at the table, his right hand flat on the tabletop the left in his lap. Straight ahead his gaze fixated his reflection in the mirror. Cragen felt as if the intense stare pierced him even though he knew that Elliot could not see him.

_Huang is right,_ he thought. _Elliot can use all the help he can get._ So he made his call. Then he stood again and stepped up to the mirror. Movement behind him made him look over his shoulder. Huang stood under the door and now approached him.

"Do you mind if I watch?" he asked, stepping beside the captain.

"We're not in an interrogation here," Cragen said, feeling slightly uneasy with the suggestion.

"I know. I just thought that I might be able to help." He looked at Elliot. "Don't let him sit there alone for so long," he said. "He may appear strong and independent, but I think that he needs someone to rely on now."

_I'm not sure if I'm the right person for that._ Cragen stared through the glass and wondered. Then he wordlessly turned around and went to the interrogation room. When he entered Elliot looked up at him.

"Is he gone?" he whispered.

"Dr. Huang?" Cragen said. "No, he's in my office."

"Watching us talk?" Now Elliot's gaze really pierced his captain. "I don't want him to be here." His head shot around to face the mirror and he spat, "Do you hear that? I don't want you fucking with my head! Get away!"

"Elliot…"

"No, Captain. I can choose who I want to work with and it's not gonna be Huang!" Once more he turned to the captain's office. "You can go home!"

Slowly Cragen circled the table and sat down opposite of Elliot, blocking his view at the mirror.

"He won't interfere with anything," he said. "And he won't talk about anything. He's not allowed to."

"But I don't want him to watch!" Elliot snarled with undisguised anger. "I'm not one of his guinea pigs."

Another moment passed in silence. Then Huang entered the interview room.

"Can we talk for a moment?" he asked.

"I don't know about what!" Elliot grumbled.

"But I do," Huang replied. "Please hear me out. I would never look upon you as a guinea pig as you described it. I respect you way too much to even harbor any thought like that. All I ever wanted was to be there if my help was needed. I just want you to know that."

Huang turned on his heels, ready to go.

"Wait," Elliot said. "I… You know…"

Whatever was in his mind he could not put it into words. Actually he was not sure what he really wanted to say.

"Yes, I know." Huang smiled at him reassuringly. "I'm not angry. Please keep in mind that I'll be there if you want to talk."

"Okay," Elliot grumbled. "Just… don't watch us, okay?"

"Okay," Huang nodded. "If you don't mind I'll stay and see if I'm needed otherwise."

Frowning at first Elliot then picked up on what Huang meant, the offer to take care of his family if one of them should ask him.

"Yeah, sure," he agreed, knowing that the psychiatrist would not impose himself on anyone.

"Okay," Huang said. "I'll be in the squad room." With another smile and a slight nod he turned and granted the two men their privacy.

They sat together in silence for a while, both trying to bring order in their thoughts. Elliot still, or once again, was agitated and he felt a restlessness that burned him inside out. Cragen watched him and wondered if he did the right thing when he called Dr. Skoda. Hearing what little the captain had let on was enough for him to postpone other sessions and come to the station instead. He would arrive soon.

"Let's get it over with," Elliot suddenly said. "You have the tape recorder?"

"Um… yes, in my office," Cragen answered. "I'll go and get it."

"Okay."

So Cragen quickly left to go and get the tape recorder. Huang sat at one of the desks. Cragen had to pass him after he realized that the recorder was not in his office but still in the lounge upstairs and walked in that direction. As soon as he retrieved it he returned to the interview room. Walking down the stairs he met Dr. Skoda who was entering the squad room at the same time.

"Dr. Skoda. Great to see you. You really were fast."

"Captain Cragen," the psychiatrist replied. "You said it's urgent and I was on my way to One PP anyway. Well, I heard about the trial. How can I help?"

"Well, I'm about to take Detective Stabler's statement and wondered if you could be present." Suddenly Cragen was uncomfortable. Did he make the right decision? How would Elliot react when he confronted him with the next shrink? Would he shut them out? Get angry? Cragen knew how mad Elliot could become and he did not want to rouse that rage which would be fuelled by the latest events all the same.

"If he agrees with it, sure," Dr. Skoda confirmed. "Just don't force it on him."

"I don't think that would be possible," Cragen chuckled involuntarily. "He knows how to defend himself."

That was when Huang cleared his throat. "Something you usually could take for granted," he said.

"But you're afraid that we can't expect the same now?" Cragen mused.

Huang nodded.

"What happened to him exactly?" Skoda wanted to know. "I heard about the hostage taking."

"I hope that he'll agree with your presence," Cragen said evasively. "Come with me?"

So Skoda followed the captain into the interview room. He was greeted by two piercing blue eyes which seemed to bore holes into him.

"Dr. Skoda," Elliot said grimly. His gaze drifted to Cragen. "I should have known that something was brewing. Did you call him?"

There was no way to deny it. Elliot would pick up on any lie he tried to tell and he did not want to lie anyways.

"Yes, I did. I would like him to stay while you give your statement. Is that okay with you?"

Elliot felt thrown off his guard. Just minutes ago he had chased away Huang and now Cragen stood there, asking him to accept another shrink to sit in on their interview. He could not help feeling betrayed.

"Maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all," Cragen murmured apologetically to Skoda.

But the psychiatrist was having none of it. He did not even look at the captain. His sole attention was directed on the clearly troubled detective.

"I don't know much about what happened," he admitted. "I'm just here to offer my help."

"Get in line," Elliot grumbled.

"I see. The people who care about you are worried and they're already swamping you with well-intentioned offers and suggestions." He paused to give Elliot time to think. "And I'm one of those."

Making a face of grudging gratitude Elliot gestured him to sit.

"We all know why you're here," he snarled. "I'll have to see a shrink anyway if I want to keep my job." He glanced at Cragen. "And you probably thought what worked once will work again."

Cragen just shrugged.

Heavily Elliot sank back into his chair, resigning himself to the fact that they were right. He would need professional help. Elliot knew that even though he did not feel like it right now. Being with them when he gave his statement would offer Skoda insight in what happened and would give him a heads up of what lay ahead.

"Take a seat," he mumbled because Skoda still stood beside the table.

Cragen put the tape recorder on the tabletop and put a new cassette in. Then he spoke the necessary data on it.

"Where did we stop?" Elliot asked.

"Sunday night," Cragen told him. "You described what happened in the bedroom."

Elliot's features crumbled and his breathing accelerated. His memories took him back there at once and his pulse started to throb in his temple.

"D-do you… need to know more about it?" Elliot asked hesitantly.

"We can continue with Monday morning," Cragen said. "What happened when you woke up again?"

There was just a second of thought before Elliot answered.

"I… think a nightmare startled me awake. I woke up in bonds and… tried to free myself."

He paused. Cragen did not try to push. From last night he knew that Elliot would continue when he was ready.

"Even though I was barely awake yet Barry wanted to play one of his mind games," Elliot said. "I just couldn't get with the program and so he bound my hands behind my back, pulled me off the bed and forced me on my knees. There I sat for about an hour, I think, before he released me.

"He then made me dress myself, offered me breakfast and once more toyed with me. When he took me downstairs next he gave me my badge and told me that there was a bug inside and that I should wear it the whole time. Then… um… something must have… made him angry, b-because he…" His throat was corded up, making it impossible to speak.

Skoda saw the almost unnoticeable scowl that darkened Elliot's features. The blue of his eyes flickered, which made his fight for control obvious. Those signs told the psychiatrist that he would now get a first glimpse at what the hostage takers had done to Detective Stabler and he was torn between a professional curiosity and empathy for the suffering man in front of him.

"He ordered them to… to get Kathy. They beat her." A sob escaped him and Elliot looked as if he wanted to vanish into the next hole available.

Cragen's insides once more constricted with compassionate pain. He could barely imagine how hard it was for his detective to talk about the humiliations his captors had put him through, but he sensed that whatever those men did to his family hurt him more than anything they could do to him.

"Then I had to leave," Elliot choked. "I have no idea how I got from Queens to Manhattan, but I did." His voice slightly shook when he continued, "Going to court was bad, I mean, seeing my colleagues there, being so close to help but still…"

This time Cragen felt actually sick. Elliot certainly had counted on them to notice without him explicitly saying that that something was wrong with him. He had trusted in them to realize that he and his family were in trouble and help them. But they had failed him.

"Goren was bad. Even though I was glad that someone seemed to notice I was scared to death…" he swallowed. "I was scared that they would hurt the girls. If they found out about him digging the girls were at risk.

"I thought things couldn't get worse, but I was wrong. When the judge adjourned the session I thought I'd have a heart attack. That meant that… that we'd have to stay… remain hostages."

Cragen closed his eyes, desperately trying not to lose his composure. If he had thought that it was hard to listen to Elliot's statement yesterday he was now disabused. The cruelty and gravity of their failure became more obvious with every word he heard when Elliot told them about how he sat in his car, bound, being driven back to Queens. Right then his face was a stern mask and his tone impassionate. For Cragen that was even worse than plain accusation and pain. He knew that Elliot had to be cruelly disappointed by the behavior of his colleagues as well of his superior. Not to be blamed seemed unnatural.

Still disturbingly unaffected Elliot told them about what awaited him back home in Queens. Skoda observed it with worry. He heard about how Elliot was forced down on his knees, a belt around his neck, right after passing the front door. He got to know about how Elliot lost it when he found out that they had hurt his wife, Kathy, and was subdued once more. The hostage takers then brought him down in the cellar where he got bound in a rope harness, his right leg chained to a post.

When he heard about Elliot preventing John from escaping, actually tackling him and crashing into a shelf, Skoda thought about interrupting the session. But before he could make his decision Elliot already talked about being put once more through Barry's favorite game, _who-are-you_.

_It's a net woven tight out of dread, dependency and degradation,_ Skoda thought as he listened. _After the first examples of how serious they are and ready to hurt and even kill them, Elliot certainly dreaded any reaction he might cause with whatever he did._

_As long as they held him and his family in their own house he depended on their, or more precisely on Barry's, mercy. In order to keep his wife and children safe he had to suffer the worst degradations. This Barry-guy sure is a sadist._

Skoda's attention was piqued again when he heard slight tremors in Elliot's voice. As he heard about how Elliot had been forced to lie down on the living room floor and got tied spread-eagled to the furniture he felt his own stomach rumble.

_I shouldn't have eaten such a good breakfast,_ he thought briefly before he returned his attention to Elliot, impressed by how controlled and almost emotionless the detective was talking about the events. _Well, it probably is not the best sign that he distances himself so far from it. Sure, it helps him to give his statement now, but it will keep him from recovering if he doesn't let go later._

That was when he noticed that Elliot stopped talking.

"I remember," Cragen murmured absently.

"You do?" Elliot croaked.

"Yes. We witnessed this over the surveillance system."

Elliot looked devastated.

_He must feel deeply humiliated,_ Skoda thought. _Realizing that this degradation was watched by people he knows and respects must shake him profoundly._

"Y-you r-really heard e-everything?" Elliot asked, his face contorting with mental pain.

Cragen could not answer, just nod.

"God!" Elliot gasped. "Why? Did you have to listen?"

"We were waiting for an opportunity to free you," Cragen explained, knowing that had to sound like a lame excuse. "I… I'm sorry."

Still Elliot looked hesitant and clearly troubled, but he then said for the tape that he had been forced to talk about certain events in his life. Just that, no specification. If they were going to work together he had to know more about the content of that conversation, Skoda thought and made a mental note about asking for the footage if he needed it.

"I panicked and was given some med by the guy they called Doc," Elliot said right then, sounding bitter. "He seemed to be decent, but he wouldn't help all the same. Um… well, they… they kept me bound for a while and as it became early evening Barry released me in order to prepare dinner. When they were eating, they made me lie down in the living room again but they didn't tie me then."

Suddenly Elliot started to shiver. His voice was shaking when he tried to tell them about the next game Barry came up with. Obviously he had annoyed his captor with doing the rehearsal wrong or not paying attention. He could not tell anymore. All he knew was that Barry made him stand up and for each question answered wrong and any hint of resistance he had to take off one part of his clothes.

This _strip-interrogation_ cost Elliot. Talking about it now cost him, too. His voice still was unsteady and hoarse.

"I-I annoyed him and he… made me stand up. From behind he… put… his blade, he put it… under my chin and ordered me to put my hands together behind my back. Then he st-started to cut'way my clothes."

Skoda noticed his agitation and thought about stopping the interview. But it remained a thought as Elliot stumbled through the rest of his tale.

"When… when th-there was nothing left to… cut away he…" Elliot choked on the words. "He ordered me to… give him my wedding band." A sob escaped him. "I never took it off before." Tears shot into his eyes and he was almost overwhelmed by the powerful memories. "I never… only…"

Cragen realized what Elliot was not able to say. He sure had to remove it when he was posing as a single man undercover, but that did not really count.

"When I did-didn't comply he twisted my arm, forced me on my knees…" now Elliot spoke faster with every few words. "He then… tried to take off the ring, but it wouldn't come off, so… he had this big knife and…he… threatened me… to… cut off my finger in order to get it."

Now he dissolved in tears. Cragen stopped the tape and gently laid his hand on Elliot's forearm, not daring to show a deeper kind of affection. Though he wanted to comfort his detective he knew that he might make it worse if he tried to get close now.

"I… I finally got it off," Elliot sobbed, "and Barry… he… he destroyed it!"

His head bowed, both hands flat on the tabletop, Elliot cried helplessly. His fingers twitched, unconscious gestures of his struggle to take control back.

_What great symbolism,_ Skoda thought as he heard about the wedding ring. _The destruction of such a symbolic item with highest emotional value must have had a devastating effect. I really want to see those video tapes._

While Elliot was talking Cragen remembered what he had seen on the monitor. An icy cold hand clawed at his heart and squeezed tight as he recalled how Elliot broke down under the merciless clasp of Enrique Mendoza. He lay there on the living room carpet, naked, stripped not only of his clothes but his pride and self-confidence. Elliot had looked beaten, a lump of flesh on the ground, without energy and without will.

Noticing the detective's ragged breathing Skoda decided to act. He got up from his place and went to Elliot.

"Elliot? I'm going to touch your shoulder, okay?"

When Elliot did not answer he just did as he had said and placed his hand on the detective's right shoulder, feeling him tense. Then Elliot squirmed away from him, Skoda noticed with surprise.

"Don't!" Elliot said, hearing with horror the whine in his voice.

Puzzled the psychiatrist looked at Cragen as the detective avoided his gaze, trying to get away from his touch.

_He's injured there,_ Cragen mouthed, indicating Elliot's right shoulder. Renewed rage and pain flashed through him as he remembered the mark caused by the branding iron.

Understanding Skoda nodded. Then he turned back to the troubled detective whose breathing accelerated even more when he now drew the attention of the other man.

"I won't touch you if you're not okay with it," Skoda said gently. "I misread your reaction. I'm sorry."

Only slowly Elliot raised his head to look at him. Anguish contorted his features and he was still breathing hard. Following Skoda's gesture he turned his chair so far that he sat opposite of him. He was restless, squirmed on the seat and could not hold his arms still.

"May I?" the psychiatrist asked, his hands hovering in front of him and now slowly reaching out for Elliot's arm. When Elliot did not object he carefully took hold of his right forearm and guided it down until it came to rest on his thigh. Then he did the same with the left arm. He did not hold on strong to Elliot, just let his hands rest on the detective's forearms, trying to still him.

Sitting tense with mental pain and fear, his arms gently immobilized, Elliot still could not stop his tears or slow down his breaths which rushed audibly in and out.

"Shhh," Skoda soothed. "It's okay. You're safe. You have no reason to be scared."

There was no reaction and Skoda wondered if Elliot had heard him.

"Elliot? Do you hear me?"

Gasping for breath Elliot nodded.

"Good. Can you tell me where you are?"

A long moment of silence passed, before Elliot's trembling lips could form words.

"Station house," he mumbled. "SVU."

"Right," Skoda confirmed, smiling. "How do you feel about the station house?"

"Whatcha mean?" At once Elliot was suspicious again.

"How do you feel being here?"

"I don't know," Elliot whispered miserably.

The psychiatrist was stunned. He did not expect his mental agony to be so grave. He worried. Obviously the abuse Elliot had been subjected to during the forty-eight hours he had been held hostage had a deeper impact on him than expected.

Avoiding looking at Skoda Elliot lowered his head. Staring at a spot on the floor he sat, his mind whirling, his body tense because he wanted to get away from the two men beside him.

"Elliot," Skoda said. "Let's try breathing together, okay?"

There was no reaction.

"Elliot? Can you look at me?"

It took a while until Elliot could direct his gaze at Skoda again. He was anxious, fearing to read pity and rejection in the psychiatrist's features, but when he met his gaze he saw a warm smile of compassion.

"C'mon, Elliot. Let's take a deep breath on one," Skoda said and sucked in air through his nose and held his breath before he continued, "for six seconds and then we let it slowly out through our noses. Okay?"

Once more he gave Elliot an example to follow and sighed inwardly with relief when the detective at least tried to do it like him, his breath coming and going quite shakily.

"Okay, in…" In his mind Skoda counted the seconds, holding his breath. "And out…" He let the air slowly flow out. "Yes, that's good, Elliot. Now in…"

A few times he counted to keep the pace, then they both were breathing in the same rhythm. Still he held Elliot's gaze, but he could see his ribs expand and his chest rise. All his muscles relaxed for a good deep breath. Once, twice… five times and Skoda decided to move on.

"Okay, now when you are ready, I want you to close your eyes…"

Before Skoda could say more he saw fear light up in Elliot's eyes.

"Hey, it's okay. Shh, no need to be scared. Just think of a place where you feel safe. Then close your eyes. Keep breathing…"

Once Elliot let his eyelids fall shut his heart skipped a beat. His anxiety came back with a vengeance, but still he noticed that it was not as bad as it had been before. Concentrating on just breathing he slowed his heartbeat down. Memories of the paramedic the day before at court rose. He had done the same for him and he felt grateful.

Skoda dared to look at Cragen. When their gazes met he smiled encouragingly and Cragen returned it.

For a few minutes they sat in silence, only their breaths were audible. Then Skoda tried to get Elliot's attention.

"Elliot? You still with me?"

"Yeah," Elliot answered reluctantly.

"Okay, just checking." Instinctively he smiled even though the detective still held his eyes closed. Still it was audible in his words. "When you're ready, you need to open your eyes and then we can go on, okay?" he asked gently and heard Elliot suck in a short, sharp breath. "There's no rush. Don and I will wait for you."

That was true. Elliot knew it just too well. He was embarrassed that they _had_ to wait for him after all. He hated to lose control and he hated Mendoza who was responsible for the state he was in now.

Suddenly his head shot up and his eyes flew open.

"Let's get finished."

"Elliot, you don't have to do it now if you…"

"No," he interrupted Cragen. "Let's do it now. Now or never."

Nodding his understanding Cragen prepared the tape recorder.

"Where did we stop?" Elliot wanted to know.

Grimacing uncomfortably Cragen said, "When he… took your ring."

"Yeah," Elliot murmured absently. He turned to the table again, ignoring Skoda who let go of his arms readily. "I… think I forgot something. Again."

In Elliot's features Cragen could read that he felt as if that should not have happened. He wanted to function one-hundred percent and was frustrated because he did not.

"That's okay, Elliot," he tried to reassure his detective. "No one expects you to recall everything chronologically now."

"Yes, you do!" Elliot panted. "If I don't they walk."

"It's no big deal now," Cragen insisted.

"It is!" Elliot contradicted, growing more agitated again.

"No, it isn't. Just tell us what you remember."

"But at trial…"

"When it goes to trial you'll have time to prepare, Elliot. You know that. It's no big deal, really."

Elliot's eyes fixated him, pierced him like laser fire.

"Testifying is what got us into that mess!" he spat, suddenly aggressive.

"We don't have to think about testifying now," Cragen explained, never losing his calm. "Just tell us what you remember."

For a moment it looked as if Elliot wanted to object, but then he turned to the microphone again.

"At one point during… um, strip interrogation… _Barry_ went upstairs. I heard the girls squeal and wanted to run and help them, but men held me back. When Barry returned Maureen was with him. He had… shown them his..." He could not get it over his lips. "He wanted Maureen to confirm that he's not small, that he's not a… um… needle dick."

He had no idea how he had forced that word out. But now it was on tape, it would stand in the record. Elliot wished he could take it back.

"I don't know how long I lay at Barry's feet," Elliot returned to the events he had described before. "When he brought me upstairs he chained me to the bed and explained that he could not stay. He impressed upon me that I wasn't to say a word before I was at court. Then he left. One of his men, he called himself _Joe_, he took over command. He toyed with me just because he could, trying to get me to talk by… playing with the girls."

_Playing with the girls?_ Cragen's heart skipped a beat while his stomach got tense and queasy. _Playing with the girls?_ the line echoed once more in his mind which was a mess, blocking whatever the others said. _God! No! What did he do to them? The poor girls… molested. In front of Elliot! That must have killed him._ He felt tears sting his eyes and fought them back. _Oh, my God. That's even more horrible than everything we had to witness on camera. And we didn't help them! We let them down! And why? Because we couldn't see it! Because we only could listen to what was going on upstairs! We failed them!_

Cragen was devastated, getting a glimpse of what Elliot was going through. When he finally was able to direct his attention back at Elliot the detective's breaths came as strained as his own.

_He knows!_ Cragen hurt with the realization. _He blames us for what happened to the girls, because we didn't prevent it! God!_

As before Elliot concentrated just on his breathing. Actually he had not said much after telling them that _Joe_ played with the girls. The memory of how the thug treated his daughters left him agitated again and made his insides constrict painfully so that he had to find back into his rhythm once more.

"I finally couldn't take it how he was combing their hair and put on makeup, used them like dressing dolls. I stepped between him and Maureen and told him to stop." He gasped for breath.

As did Cragen when his mind registered what Elliot was saying. _Combed their hair? Did makeup?_ He let out a sigh of relief._ They didn't get hurt! At least not physically! Thank God!_

"I was convinced that he would hurt me now," Elliot went on, "but he only laughed out loud. Then he went for John. I tried to stop him but fell because of the chain."

Chewing on his bottom lip he forced himself to finish his tale.

"We then lay all together in our bed, Maureen, Kathleen, Elizabeth and I. I… could hold them in my arms. It was so good to hold them…" Quickly he was choked up with emotion and he needed a while to compose himself. "The next morning they brought me to the bathroom, I got dressed and was separated from them. Then I had to go back to court."

What happened then was nothing new. After a few complications he testified, was reunited with his family and went to the hospital. Later they came to the station where they still were.

Elliot sighed a breath of relief when Cragen stopped the tape recorder.

"You did very well," his captain praised. "That was a pretty detailed statement. I don't think that we'll have many further questions."

"I hope you won't have any more questions…" Elliot mumbled, staring down at his hands again. His stomach rumbled.

"Your family should be up by now," Cragen said. "How about that: I'll check on them and then you can all go and have breakfast. How does that sound?"

"Great," Elliot admitted who could not ignore his growling insides any longer. He had hardly eaten anything the day before. So he actually was very hungry. If only he knew if he could keep anything down. The thought of food scared him, or better the prospect of throwing up again. He also felt that he had not slept much. After waking up around a quarter to five he had worked on finding a trace of Mendoza. Then Cragen showed up and they continued to record his statement. He really had no reason to be surprised that he was hungry.

Just a few minutes later Cragen was back.

"Olivia and Fin went to get breakfast," he told Elliot. "Your family's in the break room upstairs."

"Okay, thanks."

Taking his crutches Elliot got up and hobbled toward the stairs.

"What do you think?" Cragen turned to Skoda.

"That we'll have a lot of work ahead," the psychiatrist said. "I can't judge how badly he got affected yet. We'll have to schedule a few sessions and see how everything develops."

"Okay," Cragen said. He stood under the doorframe and followed Elliot with his eyes.

Up in the break room Elliot found Kathy and the children on the couch and easy chairs surrounding the low table. There was a mug of coffee standing in front of Kathy while the kids had coke and hot chocolate from the vending machine. The girls where whining because they were hungry.

"I'm sure that Olivia will be right back," Kathy said. "You'll get your pancakes and muffins, sweetie."

"Hello," Elliot greeted meekly and sank into the last free easy chair.

"Good morning, El," Kathy said. "You were already busy again?"

"I wanted to get my statement finished," Elliot said and hugged Elizabeth who climbed on his lap. "Hey, baby girl."

"Daddy?" she moaned. "Are you okay?"

"Yes, I am," he said and rubbed her shoulder.

"But you cried."

Elliot choked. How did she…? Could she see that he had cried? Did it leave traces on his face?

"I'm okay now, sweetie. What did you order for breakfast?"

"The menu up and down." She smirked. "Enough for the whole squad."

"Donuts?"

"Sure! Tons of donuts!"

That made Elliot smile. Maybe he would have laughed if he was not so exhausted both physically and mentally, but right then he just could not muster the strength for a stronger reaction.

"Thanks, sweetie." His voice trailed off before he could say anything more. He was a mess and he hated it.

Under the hoorays of the kids Olivia returned with boxes full of breakfast dishes. Soon the open cartons scattered the table and not too much later all that remained of the makeshift buffet were a few crumbs.

"I don't know where you put all that food," Elliot wondered. "You four kids ate more than a whole football team."

"I guess that's something they inherited from you, El," Kathy teased. Her husband always had a good appetite. Even now. After a few hesitant bites he helped himself to an extensive meal. Now leaning in the chair he looked rather relaxed and content. _Thank God for small favors,_ Kathy thought glancing at him. She had enough problems without caring for him, too.

"Dr. Huang offered us his help," she said unexpectedly.

"And?" Curiously Elliot's brows shot up.

"And I told him that I appreciate his offer."

"Do you want to work with him?" Elliot wanted to know. To be honest he could not picture a single one of his family having sessions with Huang.

"I politely refused," she said. "And I don't think that he'd be the right person for the kids either."

Nodding his consent Elliot mused, "We could ask Dr. Olivet. She's really nice and a great psychiatrist. She almost exclusively works with children."

"That sounds like a plan, Elliot." Kathy smiled. Her view went past Elliot. "Looks as if Fin wants something from you."

Sure enough Elliot's colleague gestured him to come downstairs and take a call.

"I'll be right back, Kath," he said and pushed himself out of the chair. "Love you."

"I love you, too, Elliot," Kathy returned his confession with a smile that conveyed more of her emotions than her words.

Only slowly Elliot made it down to his desk where Fin stood holding the receiver out to him.

"Who is it?" Elliot wanted to know but Fin just shrugged.

"Some lawyer," he explained. "I'm sorry, man. I tried to convince him that you were unavailable, but he wasn't hearing me. Said something about the Bonham case, about a lineup."

"Okay," Elliot mumbled, uncertain who Fin meant. He could not recall details of the case so he did not know what the lawyer might want from him.

"Stabler."

All color drained from Elliot's face as he listened. His hand started to shake, then his whole body. Roaring with agony like a wounded lion Elliot grabbed the phone and threw it away forcefully. It crashed against a desk and broke in several pieces.

"Elliot?"

tbc…


	46. Chapter 46

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for your reviews. You have great instincts. Special thanks to my beta, JO. Enjoy!

**46**

**Special Victims Unit**

**Manhattan**

Everyone in the squad room as well as upstairs stared at him incredulously. No one had expected an outburst like that… and it was not over yet.

Screaming Elliot picked up a mug and it flew in a random direction, making two officers duck before it shattered on the wall. Files slid off the table and scattered on the floor. Elliot's office chair shot away gaining momentum from the kick he gave it and crashing into the doors.

Someone was courageous enough to step in his way, trying to grab and stop him.

A mistake.

Rage mingled with fear and Elliot lashed out. The uniformed officer got hit and tumbled aside.

"Elliot!" Olivia shouted but he did not react to her. "Elliot! Stop! Whatcha doing? Stop!" By a hair's breadth he would have hit her, too.

"Elliot!" another female voice broke the stunned silence. Kathy virtually flew down the stairs and toward her raging husband. "Elliot!" She managed to grab his left forearm and reached out for his right to make him turn to her. "Elliot! Please, calm down!"

But Elliot was not to be comforted. Screaming again he even tried to push Kathy away, but his wife was having none of his crap. Resolutely she grabbed his arms and was rewarded with him shutting her out. Elliot simply turned away from her, winding out of her arms. His pained expression was hard to see. Whatever tortured him so much was sitting deep in his soul.

Elliot did not know where to turn. He could not give in to Kathy's comfort in front of his co-workers and he could not keep raging. He could not just brush it off and forget what happened. The humiliation sat way too deep. It was gnawing at his insides, making them churn with the degradation.

Unexpectedly Elliot pushed through the rows of colleagues and ran off toward the stairs. Taking several steps at a time he rushed up the stairs, squeezing past another cop and vanishing into the small gym next to the locker room, showers and crib.

For a few moments everyone stood frozen with shock. Huang and Skoda looked at each other. Both psychiatrists knew that it was hard to judge what to do now. Maybe he needed someone to lean on now, but maybe it was better to let him keep his distance.

Skoda decided to turn to Kathy who stood in the middle of the room, unable to move, staring at the gallery and fighting with her tears. Suddenly she started to tremble. Both Skoda and Olivia stepped forward and took an arm each to keep her from falling when her legs gave way under her with stress and exhaustion. In a matter of seconds she dissolved in tears.

"Kathy," Olivia said softly. "Come on. Sit down over here."

Together with Skoda she guided her partner's wife to Elliot's office chair.

Huang on the other hand followed a petite blonde and a very tall dark haired man up the stairs. To the psychiatrist's surprise the man squatted down beside the children who had watched everything and were pretty upset now. Lizzie clung to her older sisters while Dickie held on to the handrail, staring unfocused through the bars down at the squad room.

"Shhh, it's okay," Bobby Goren soothed them, holding out his open left hand to them invitingly. "It's upsetting to see your father like that, right?" he said, rather to Kathleen and Maureen than to the twins. He saw them nod hesitantly.

"He hurts," Bobby said, "and he doesn't know how to deal with it, you know."

"He doesn't?" Kathleen panted incredulously.

"No, he doesn't. Your father was in a really dangerous situation and had to handle it almost on his own. Now he needs to find a way to go on with his life, but that isn't easy. Do you understand that?"

"Yeah, I think I do. I can't do it either." Suddenly she cried. "I'm so scared."

Still reaching out for her or her sisters Bobby offered her comfort. Letting go of her sisters Kathleen sank into his arms. The other two followed just a second later. They clung to Bobby almost desperately and were sobbing.

For a moment Huang watched the big detective who handled the children so gently and considerately. Still one kid was missing and Huang tried to comfort Dickie who still held on to the balustrade. It took him some effort to coax him into his embrace, but eventually the boy could not keep up his façade and threw himself into Huang's arms.

In the gym Elliot practically launched himself into the punching bag. Then he started to pound it with full force. Blow after blow he landed on the bag. Throwing his punches was strenuous but he never noticed that his muscles got sore. Soon his shoulders ached as did his arms and his hands hurt and stung from delivering the blows, his bare knuckles abraded by the canvas of the punching bag.

Still his physical pain could not thrust aside his emotional agony.

When he finally ran out of power and he had to stop with exhaustion he swayed and grabbed the punching bag to keep himself from falling. His chest was rising painfully with each breath he gasped in and his face was streaked with tears he did not even notice falling. Unable to keep standing, partly due to exhaustion and partly because his sprained ankle hurt like hell, Elliot slid down the bag he had grabbed and sank to the ground in a slack heap of flesh.

Sobbing he slumped forward, right into waiting arms which wrapped around him and pulled him to a small chest to embrace him comfortingly.

"Let go," a female voice offered and Elliot could not withstand.

Crying out loud he hugged the woman back and let his tears run freely. How long he sat on the mat beneath the bag Elliot did not know, but when he finally let go of the slim form in his arms the shoulder of her shirt was soaked with his tears.

Elliot could have died with shame.

"What are _you_ doing here?" he croaked when his gaze fell on the female detective.

"Bobby wanted to see how everything turned out and offer our help wrapping things up if your captain needed it," Alex Eames explained. "Do you still need a moment?"

"Nah, it's okay," he mumbled, averting his gaze from her.

She could read his features and knew what he did not, what he _could_ not say. "Yes, you're right," Alex said. "It's okay to let go and vent your emotions. You went through a pretty hard forty-eight hours and everyone will understand that you are still under one hell of a lot of stress."

Elliot gave a strangled laugh. Pretty hard was an obscene understatement of how those hours had been for him.

"I-it's s-so em…barrassing," he choked on his words. "My colleagues, my friends… my family. What will they think of me after I freaked?"

Alex answered without the slightest hesitation, "They will see a brave man who went through threats and tortures to protect his family and who needs time to heal now. No one expects you…"

"But my kids!" he interrupted her, gasping for breath. "I need to be strong for them! I'm their father! They look up to me. They… they counted on me to keep them safe… I let them down!"

Renewed tears brimmed his eyes.

Alex's heart went out to him. Still she was not sure if she should pull him into her embrace again. He needed reassurance, but she sensed that it was other comfort he was needing now.

"God, I shouldn't have exploded like that over that call," he said, his voice thick and strained. "All that rage, that pain, that fear… it all boiled over somehow."

"You had every right to blow off steam," Alex said. "And maybe it's a good thing that everyone saw you lose it."

"What?" he choked, incredulously. "How can that be a good thing?"

This time Alex waited for him to fully look at her before she answered, "Because they now know that he didn't succeed. They know that he could not break you, that he _has_ not broken you."

When Elliot looked at her now raw pain stood in his sapphire blue eyes and Alex wondered what the reason was.

"Who was it on the phone?" she asked.

Elliot did not answer at once. His throat was corded up and his face contorted to a mask of terror. His croaked and barely audible answer made Alex shudder.

xXx

"You were with uncle Fin when he found us in the woods," Dickie said, staring at the huge man sitting in the easy chair now while he and his sisters huddled together on the couch.

"Yeah, that's right," Bobby said.

"Why?" the boy asked, sounding confused.

Bobby smiled. "Olivia was busy helping your sisters," he explained. "So I was working with Fin."

"Why?"

"Because I was at the right place at the same time."

"Why?"

Now Bobby had to smirk. "Call it destiny," he said. "Fin was my partner when we were with another squad. I noticed that he and his colleagues needed support and came to help."

"Why?"

"You shouldn't pepper him with questions, young man," Kathy who just returned upstairs admonished her son.

"Nah, it's okay," Bobby replied. "I love kids."

"Yeah, especially curious ones," Fin teased when he came up the stairs at the right time to hear their talk. "'Cause they remind you of someone, huh?"

Bobby just gave him a mystic half-smile.

"So, why?" Dickie pushed when he noticed that he could get away with his curiosity.

"It's my job to help," Bobby said. "I love my job and so it was a pleasure to help you, your sisters, your parents, and my friend Fin."

Dickie looked at him and opened his mouth, but another _why_ got caught in his throat. For some reason he suddenly was choked up and he had to swallow hard and blink several times to keep the tears at bay.

"What's wrong?" Bobby asked gently, leaning slightly forward.

"We… we could be dead…"

His voice was so low that Bobby had difficulty understanding him, but he did. So did Kathy and she reached out for her son to reassure him.

"Oh, I know, honey. It's okay. Come here."

Dickie crawled over Maureen and into his mother's arms. His sisters followed him, joining in a group hug.

"Where's Dad?" Kathleen asked. "Is he okay?"

"Your father needs a moment for himself," Bobby explained, his voice carrying his compassion. "He'll be with you soon."

"Will we have to talk with the cops, too?" Maureen asked, seeking confirmation for what she already knew.

"We would like to talk with you, Maureen, that's right," Olivia told her. She perched on an armrest because all chairs were already occupied.

"Now?"

"No, honey. We won't have to do it now," Olivia tried to soothe her.

"No, Olivia. I meant if we could do it now."

"Are you sure?" Questioningly Olivia looked at her until she returned her gaze and nodded. "Okay, let's find a calmer place."

"Mom?" Maureen turned to her. "I want to do that alone. Can I?"

Kathy exchanged a look with Olivia before she gave her okay. Then Maureen and Olivia left for an interview room.

"Do we have to talk, too?" Lizzie asked anxiously and clawed at her mother's clothes before she whined, "I don't want to! They scared me sooo much!"

Comfortingly Kathy hugged her tighter. Her own chest narrowed painfully. She had been scared, too, she still was. All that kept her going were the worries about her children whom she had to keep safe. And then she also worried for her husband. She yearned to go search for him, but she could not split herself into two to care for him and care for their children, too. It was hard enough to put back her own needs.

"What did scare you so much?" Bobby asked.

"The men," Lizzie gasped between sobs.

"What did they do?"

Scaring as her memories were, the open smile and compassionate way he treated them with combined with his size made Lizzie feel safe. The big cop and her father's colleagues would protect them.

"They had guns when they came," she told him. As soon as she thought about that moment she started to cry again. "They tied our hands and put tape on my mouth."

Encouragingly Kathy squeezed her hand.

"What happened next?" Bobby gently pushed when she did not continue.

"They took mom into the kitchen. I don't know what they did there… then… then they… took us upstairs."

"For a while they kept us tied up," Kathleen added. "Mom was with us. When they released us we could move inside the room and play cards or monopoly."

"I see." Bobby scribbled on his notepad. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed Alex.

"Later they brought Maureen in," Dickie said. "She came home from sleeping at her friend's."

"Where's Daddy?" Lizzie whined.

Bobby looked at his partner and gestured her to come over. "How's Elliot?" he asked.

"I maneuvered him over to the crib," Alex told him and Kathy as well. "He's sleeping now."

"He needs the rest," Kathy murmured and smoothed her hand over her daughter's hair.

Bobby nodded his understanding. Then he got up to follow Alex who urged him to come with her. "Excuse me, Mrs. Stabler."

Downstairs at Olivia's desk Alex met her partner, Cragen, Fin, and Skoda.

"He was emotionally drained and exhausted," Alex said to the round. "Once I coaxed him into the bunk he fell asleep."

"I don't think that he slept much last night," Cragen said. "He gave me part of his statement and… fell asleep on the couch afterwards." The captain did not want to mention how Elliot had wept in his arms until he fell asleep. "When I woke up he was sitting at his desk working. I guess it was just a matter of time until he would have to give in to his exhaustion."

"Actually he cried himself to sleep," Alex admitted. "I can understand him only too well, especially after he told me who was on the phone earlier."

All of them looked at the petite detective expectantly.

"Enrique Mendoza."

xXx

"Okay, Maureen. Here we are. I have everything I need for now, can I get you anything?"

Maureen shook her head. "Thanks, Olivia, but I'm still stuffed from breakfast."

"Something to drink?"

"Nope."

_Okay…_ Olivia was nervous. When she checked the tape recorder she noticed that there were no cassettes left in the drawer so she went to get a new one. On her way back she had seen her colleagues come down the stairs and looked questioningly at her captain who nodded. He would be in his office and watch while she was talking with Maureen.

_Huang and Skoda will stay, too,_ Olivia thought, looking through the door's window into the interview room and at Maureen who sat at the table, stiffly, waiting for whatever might come. _Please, don't let me screw this up._ Once more Olivia took a deep breath and entered the room.

"Just another minute and we can start," she murmured, fumbling with the tape deck. "Okay, there we go." Pressing the record button she started the tape, gave the needed information and then sat back in her chair, looking at Maureen expectantly.

"Why?" Maureen asked unexpectedly before Olivia could say anything.

"Your father was put through a very hard time, Maureen," Olivia started to explain, uncertain what she could tell the girl and what she rather kept to herself. "He's hurting and…"

"I know why he smashed the phone," Maureen snapped. "What I don't know is why they did all that stuff to Dad."

"The man who led the group at your house is a relative of the man who was on trial yesterday," Olivia said.

"I know." Maureen rolled her eyes. "They ordered Dad to change his testimony. But _why_ did they torture him?"

Now Olivia was at a loss. She started to realize that Maureen as the oldest of the four siblings was more grown up than she probably thought. Or maybe she just tried to act like an adult. How could she possibly explain to Maureen what Enrique Mendoza did and why?

"Maybe that is a question you should ask your father," Olivia tried to avoid the subject.

"Oh, yeah? When?"

"Um…" Olivia swallowed. She realized that her partner was not in the state for profound discussions about his ordeal. And she realized that Maureen knew that, too. _Damn! Cornered by a sixteen-year-old!_

"C'mon, Olivia. We both know those men hurt my dad real bad. They didn't have to do that to get him to change his testimony. Dad would have done anything just to keep us safe, but the men chose to torture him. Why?"

By then Olivia had stopped the tape. She was still thinking about how to answer Maureen's question.

"Olivia, I was sitting upstairs alone with Kat, Lizzie and Dickie, and tried to explain what was happening. We saw Dad's pain even though he tried to hide it and we heard his screams. I know what they did to Mom, too. When the adults don't answer us because we're _just kids_ the others turn to me, but all I can do is make something up and hope they'll accept it."

Olivia was impressed. Maureen did not only sound quite composed given the terrible ordeal they went through, she also talked like an adult to her. Maybe it was due to her being the oldest of the Stabler kids. She grew up with caring for her sisters and brother, so she naturally learned to take over responsibility for them.

"I got the feeling they were mad at Dad for something he had done. Is it that? Tell me, Olivia!" Maureen pleaded.

"The leader of the gang, Enrique Mendoza, really was mad at Elliot because he believed him to be responsible for the raid and the following arrest. He knew that a conviction was more than likely if your dad testified, so they tried to force him to perjure himself."

"Okay… and that's why he hurt him?"

"Yes, I think that's the reason."

"I don't know anything about the arrest, but I'm sure that it was not my Dad alone who arrested Mendoza."

"You're right, it was a team effort. SWAT members, uniformed officers and detectives from our squad made the arrest."

"So why did he blame it all on Dad?" Maureen asked, confused now.

"Maybe because, being the lead detective, he was in charge of the investigation. I can only guess about Enrique Mendoza's reasons, too. Unless he told your father or will tell us himself when we catch him we'll never know his exact motives."

"I see." Slowly Maureen nodded. Her forehead wrinkled up with anxiety. "Will he be okay?"

For a second Olivia was tempted to give a simple _yes_ as an answer just to reassure her that her beloved father would be alright, but she thought better of it, "I think that he'll have a long road of recovery ahead."

"I guess we all will," Maureen mused. Looking down at her kneading hands in her lap she remained silent for a while. Then she said, "I think we can start now."

_Brave girl,_ Olivia thought and restarted the tape.

"You were not at home when the men came, right?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah." Biting her bottom lip in a way that made her look even more like her dad, Maureen stared at her hands again. "I stayed with a classmate overnight. We studied together on Saturday and went to a party later. I tried… to get home in time to go to the zoo, but I was too tired. We had agreed in advance that they should go without me if I didn't make it in time. So I didn't expect anybody to be home when I came back." She shuddered. "I… saw our car and was surprised. I thought they did stay and walked around the house to see if they had a barbecue for lunch instead of going to the zoo. When I came around the corner something smashed the window and almost hit me. I don't even know what it was. I looked around to find it, but right then I heard Dad scream a warning and two men wearing black left the house. I ran, but they caught me and brought me inside."

Gasping for breath she had to pause a moment.

"When they dragged me through the living room I saw Dad. More men held him back as he tried to free himself and defend me. Then I lost sight of him when they brought me upstairs. I didn't stay there… for… long."

Her voice was trembling as were her hands. Olivia could see the raw emotional pain in the girl's eyes and wondered how she could possibly comfort her.

"When I… came down again they… It was horrible. He was using me to get to my father! I could have scratched his eyes out for that! He made Dad kneel in front of him and then… he ordered Dad to choke himself in his hand, so he had to lean forward and to place his neck in the guy's grasp." She sobbed. "As soon as he did that another man brought me back upstairs. I didn't know what happened to Dad. I only saw how he got strangled by that man and I believed that they killed him even though Mom tried to tell me they hadn't."

_That must have been horrible._

"When I saw him again at dinner… I thought my heart would stop beating. I've never been so glad to see him before."

Now that she was talking Olivia did not have to guide her very much. The detective was impressed by her strength and composure. How often had she interviewed victims who could not give half as detailed descriptions of what had happened? _It must have to do with Elliot being a cop,_ Olivia thought. _Or maybe the genes that make him such a good detective carried forward._

"The more time passed the easier it was to deal with them," Maureen said. "We kind of got used to the men. Is that what they call transference?"

Olivia's eyes widened with surprise as she heard the girl use that term.

"That's rather a Huang-question," she said. "I guess you could also consider it Stockholm Syndrome."

"Yeah…" Obviously she had heard about that phenomenon. "James, the intern at the center, told me about it, and gave me an article to read, too."

"What center?" Olivia had to ask.

"At school. We have a crisis center. A psychiatrist is working there, two teachers and several students volunteer."

"And you're one of them."

"Hm hmmm. James is studying psychology at Hudson University."

"That's great," Olivia mumbled and briefly wondered if Elliot knew about her activities. "Your father would be proud of you."

Maureen stared at her hands again. "Will you tell him?" she asked.

"He doesn't know?"

"I was talking with Mom about it. She said I should try it and we would tell Dad if I decide to stay." She bit her bottom lip. "I'm worried that Dad will forbid me to volunteer. He's always so concerned about everything. But I really want to do it."

"If it's the right thing for you to do your father will be the last person to keep you from doing it," Olivia encouraged her. "He'll worry, but he'll support you."

"That's what Mom said," Maureen sighed. "She just thought that I should be sure if I really want to stay before we bother him with it."

That made Olivia chuckle. "You're too much like him," she said.

"I know." Remaining silent for a moment Maureen tried to gather her thoughts. "I was so busy with my sisters that I often had no time to be scared, though it was terrible. Especially that other man who took over from Barry, he played with us, made us sit before the mirror and combed our hair."

Her breath came strained now as her memories took her back to the night before yesterday.

"We could stay with Dad that night, but he was not allowed to speak." Out of teary eyes she looked at Olivia. "I could read in his face that he was almost bursting to talk with us, to reassure us, but any word would have… they would've hurt us."

A sob rose in her throat and she tried to fight it. Olivia knew that they should try to get finished and so she carefully guided Maureen to the end of her statement.

"You did so great," she praised when they were done.

"You, too," Maureen said. "Thanks, Olivia."

Olivia could just smile and hug her.

xXx

When Elliot woke up again it was already afternoon. He found himself in a cot in the crib and had no idea how he got there. Dimly he remembered Alexandra Eames and shame colored his cheeks as he became conscious of his failure.

Shifting his position he noticed that he was sore all over his body. Especially his back was killing him, but his arms and legs felt as if sandbags were hanging on them. Elliot could not recall when he had felt that crappy before. His head also seemed to weigh a ton. The pressure inside made it hard for him to keep his eyes open and focused. A bang disrupted his fragile peace and Kathy entered the crib.

_The bang was the door?_ Elliot mused. _A hangover isn't as bad as this… whatever this is._

"Hey, El," Kathy murmured, sitting down on the edge of his bunk.

"Kathy. How late is it?" He propped himself up on both elbows.

"Almost five."

"What?" At once Elliot regretted his outbreak. It made his head hurt awfully.

"I'm glad that you could sleep," Kathy told him. "We all gave our statements and are ready to go."

"Go where?" he croaked.

"To my parents." Kathy saw him scowl. "Don't roll your eyes, El. Mom and Dad are more than ready to welcome us. They have more than enough space for us and the kids. And Don has organized protection."

Groaning Elliot dropped back into the pillow.

"Don't I have any say in the matter?"

"What would you suggest?" Kathy prodded. "Stay here?"

Grimacing he shrugged.

"Would a hotel be any different than my parents' house?" she asked. "Except for the costs?"

"Um…"

"Elliot, we can't stay here forever. The kids need as much normalcy as possible. We did what we had to do and now we're ready to go on."

He did not move. His blue eyes shone with suppressed tears as he stared up at her. It corded up Kathy's throat.

"I know that we'll have a long road ahead, Elliot. Let's take the first step."

Gasping in a sharp breath Elliot turned to the wall and pulled the blanket up. Tremors passed through his body and he wondered if Kathy would notice.

His wife had to stifle a sob. She knew that he was hurting. She hurt, too, as well as the kids. They all went through hell and back and she yearned for a place to hide not only from the press whose reporters still were waiting outside of the office for them but also from the cops. If she was truly honest she had to admit that she could not stand any cop anymore, not even Don or Olivia. Especially not Don and Olivia.

Kathy heard his strained breathing and her heart ached for him. Laying a hand on his shoulder she tried to turn him back to her but he resisted against her gentle prodding.

"Elliot, please."

"Please what?" he grumbled to the wall. "You already decided for us."

Stunned she stared at his back, hurt by the venom in his voice. "Elliot!" she gasped. "That was not my intention. But we needed to make a decision. Don had to know it to organize the protective detail. You know that. You know that only too well."

"I… don't want that," he groaned, still facing the wall. "We can't do that to your parents."

"Let my parents decide. They welcomed us."

"We can't do that to the kids."

"Who are looking forward to staying with their grandparents for a while." She could see how his muscles tensed. Why was that so hard for him? "Do you want to go home?"

Sharply he sucked in air. All his muscles tensed up and became hard. It took a moment until he could take another shaky breath. Shuddering air rushed in and out. For Kathy that was all she needed as an answer, but she waited if he would respond aloud.

"No," he finally croaked.

"Neither do I." She smiled at him even though he could not see it, but it carried in her words. "But don't let them take away what is left of our lives. Don't let them take our freedom. We should not hide from them. If we crawl into the next hole and don't come out again because one of them might be there to see us they have won. Don't let them do that to us."

He remained silent… for so long that she started to worry.

"Elliot. Please answer me."

But he could not. Without warning his shoulders started to shake and with astonishment she heard him cry in earnest now.

_It's just too much for him,_ she thought. _God, why do you have to load that responsibility on my shoulders?_

Kathy climbed into the bunk behind Elliot and wrapped her arms around him, pulling him to her chest. Her close contact did not only comfort him but her as well. Gradually his sobbing ceased, but she kept waiting. And she knew that she had to decide now if he was not ready to do it together with her. When she dared to speak at last she said, "We shouldn't pull the kids completely out of the environment they're used to. We'll go to my parents."

Elliot did not have the energy to object anymore.

tbc…


	47. Chapter 47

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thanks for the reviews _EnforcerAndAccuserFan_, _Donna_, and _JO_. Sorry for the long wait, but for some reason my muse let me down on this one. I'm glad she's back and hope she'll stay. LOL Thanks to _JO_ for beta-reading. Enjoy.

**47**

**Special Victims Unit**

**Manhattan**

"Dr. Skoda. Do you have a minute?" Olivia Benson asked as the psychiatrist passed her desk.

"Sure, Detective. What can I do for you?"

"Can we go somewhere where we can talk in private?"

He nodded and together they went to the interview room beside Cragen's office where she had talked earlier with Maureen. They settled down in two chairs and Skoda looked at her with mild curiosity.

"I'm scared," she admitted.

"Of what?" he asked.

"That I can't do it right." Olivia told him. "I'm scared to screw up."

"To screw up what?"

"Day in and day out I'm working with the victims of the worst assaults possible, but now I don't know what to do." Olivia choked. "Even though I could witness part of what happened I'm not sure if I can react right. I'm feeling so… helpless."

"Correct me if I'm wrong, Detective," Skoda said. "We're talking about your partner? About your insecurity that you might handle his case wrong?"

"I thought I knew him so well. He's been my partner for almost three years now. But after what happened I'm not so sure anymore."

"Why? What has changed?" Skoda wanted to know.

"I'm not sure." Nervously Olivia bit her lower lip. "While Mendoza was holding them hostage he… he toyed with my partner. I learned things about him he… I can't imagine that he would have told me about them."

"Things like what?"

"About his past." Taking a deep breath Olivia steeled herself. "Somehow I guessed that he was not on best terms with his father but I found out that he had a hard childhood… not unlike my own. I can see that that's one reason why he's working Special Victims. Mendoza made him talk about the beatings he took, about himself… um… doing things he's ashamed of… I've…" She choked on some tears. "I've never seen Elliot like this."

"What are you trying to tell me?" Skoda pushed even though he had a good idea of where she was going.

For a moment she remained silent, kneading her hands and chewing on her lip. Nervously she brushed over her hair and shifted her sitting position.

"One thing I define him by are his eyes," she said tonelessly. "He's got the most stunning eyes I've ever seen. They were the first thing I noticed about him when Cragen introduced us. I looked into those vivid blue eyes and knew that this partnership would work. I can't explain it, but that's how it was. There's so much I can see in his eyes, his love to his family, his mischievousness when he tells jokes or joins in banter, his determination when he's on the trail of a suspect, rage when we examine crime scenes or someone walks free we know is guilty but can't be convicted anyway, his willpower and cleverness when he's working a perp in interrogation…" Her voice trailed off.

Skoda had heard admiration in her words when she told him about her partner. He was quite sure that they had a well-working partnership, and he knew that they had the highest solve rate of their squad. But in the end he had heard deep emotional pain and he wondered where it was coming from.

"What do you see in his eyes now?" he asked when she did not continue by herself.

"Pain." The single word filled the space between them and thickened the air. "Humiliation… H-helplessness." She paused. "Vulnerability and… accusation."

"I understand. That is what makes it hard for you to deal with him."

"I think so."

"You are friends, aren't you?" Skoda gently asked.

"Yes, we are." Olivia frowned. "Why? Is that a problem?"

"No, I… just think that you're having difficulty distinguishing between the different facets of himself that he's showing."

"What do you mean?" Olivia was confused.

"Elliot is your partner, the man you have and can rely on, on the job. You seldom get a glimpse at his personal side, right?"

She nodded.

"You know that he has his flaws just like anybody else but you always see him strong and confident, right?"

Once more she nodded.

"And now this incident has turned your strong and self-confident partner into an insecure and needy victim and you don't know how to deal with that."

"Yes." This yes was not much more than a whisper and she had to take a deep breath before she said, "The things Mendoza made Elliot talk about… I never saw them in his eyes. It makes me wonder, if I never noticed them in a man I know so well, am I really half as good at my job as I would like to think I am, and if I'm not, how the hell do I help him with what he's been through?"

"I heard that you helped him through the examination at the hospital, is that right?"

"Yes."

"How did that go?"

"I was under the impression that it went fine, given the circumstances. But maybe he just was trying to act brave because I embarrassed him. Maybe someone else should have gone with him."

"And maybe you're just worrying too much." Skoda eyed her intently. "You know what to do and you already did it. Trust your instincts."

_Trust my instincts…_ Suddenly she remembered the morning in Central Park. _The moment when I thought I was psychic… Maybe I should have called him. We might have prevented the worst things and freed them on Sunday already. Why didn't I trust my instincts then?_

"Is there anything else you want to talk about?" Skoda asked.

Thoughtfully she played with a paper clip.

"No, I don't think so. Not right now. Thank you, doctor."

"Anytime," he said, smiling.

xXx

"Anything new?" Cragen asked.

Fin shook his head. "No trace of Mendoza," he grumbled. "Call came from a public phone. No hint of where he might have gone."

"Are we ready to go?" the captain demanded to know. "Where's Elliot?"

"Still in the crib," Olivia said. "I just checked on them. Rebecca O'Hara is with the kids."

"Good. I've seen Mr. O'Hara talk with Dr. Huang. When you're finished we could go."

Olivia nodded. "Almost done."

So Cragen went upstairs to the crib. On his way he passed the kids who were cuddling with their grandmother on the couch. When Cragen entered the crib he saw Kathy sit on the edge of the bed while Elliot still hid under the covers, turned to the wall. Before Cragen could say anything Kathy told her husband, "It's time to go. Your captain's here."

Relieved she watched him turn and get out of the bunk without further prodding necessary. This relief wavered when he raised his gaze and she looked into his eyes. They didn't shine. Kathy shuddered with the sight of gray-blue ashes.

Cragen heard her agonized gasp and looked first at her than at Elliot. He saw it, too, and it reminded him painfully of the episode when Mendoza had stripped Elliot, forcing him to the floor on his fours, then to lie down at his feet. Right then Elliot had looked broken, his usually sparkling eyes beamless.

Now they cleared only slowly.

"We're ready if you are, Detective," Cragen said, deliberately using Elliot's title.

"It's too late to trace the call, right, Sir?" Elliot asked.

"It came from a public phone. We sent a patrol car and CSU, but he was long gone."

"I doubt that he called from anywhere close to where he's hiding," Elliot growled. "But then again he'd have to take a risk to move through the city to get to the phone."

"Officers are asking around, searching for a possible hideaway." Cragen watched Elliot thread his belt into the loops and close it. Then Elliot slipped on his leather jacket.

"But there's no trace left?" the detective asked.

"No."

Cragen hated having to give him that answer, but he would hate himself even more if he lied to him. Elliot would not let himself be fooled anyway.

"How's Munch doing?"

_Wham!_ Cragen felt blood shoot into his face. Dealing with Elliot and his family had taken so much of his energy that he forgot about his other detective completely.

"He's at the hospital in Queens. I could call again before we go."

"If he's in Queens we could stop by. I want to see him."

The tone Elliot was using told Cragen that he should not try to argue with his detective. He would be adamant about his wish and as much as Cragen cared for Elliot and his family to go home and have finally some proper rest he knew as well that Elliot would not be able to rest until he saw John.

_How much did they go through together?_ Cragen wondered. _I guess we just got a glimpse of what happened. As detailed as Elliot's statement was, I'm under the impression that there's a lot we haven't heard._

Without waiting for anyone's consent Elliot picked up his crutches and hobbled to the door. It was clear to everyone that he now was determined to go. He probably did not want to go to Kathy's parents, but having no choice about that matter anymore he was set on getting going. As soon as he set foot out of the crib his kids spotted him and, Lizzie first, darted into him with undisguised enthusiasm.

"Okay, it's okay," Elliot panted, stroking their heads and trying to remove them from his body. For some unknown reason his insides started to rumble and the panic threatened to suffocate him. Dizziness tried to claim him and he was relieved when Kathy came to his aid and freed him of the children's closeness.

"Let's go," Elliot said and limped as fast out of the bullpen's doors as his crutches allowed.

His family and colleagues followed him and caught up with him at the elevators. On the ride downstairs uncomfortable silence reigned that changed to awkwardness on the drive to Queens.

xXx

_1731, 1735, 1737..._

Slowly, Elliot made his way down the hall to room 1743 of Long Island Jewish Medical Center to visit his friend. Kathy and the kids followed him patiently, moving slowly because he was on crutches and they did not want to get ahead of him. As tired as they all were, he felt guilty for dragging them along with him, but none of them wanted to be separated right now, and he would not be able to rest until he had checked on Munch. He just needed to see for himself that John was not seriously injured and would be ok.

_1739... 1741... Almost there. And then what? 'Hey John, how you doing?' That would be an idiotic question to ask. He's in the hospital, and it's your fault._

Suddenly, Elliot stopped short. It _was_ hisfault John was hurt. If he had done a better job of protecting his family, his senior colleague would not have had to try to rescue them.

_What are you going to say? 'Sorry I almost got you killed because I couldn't take care of my wife and kids?' What do you expect him to say to that? You'll be lucky if John even speaks to you, let alone forgives you._

He let his eyes dart side to side. Maureen was on his right. He could just see her in his peripheral vision, and next to her was Elizabeth. Every time he stopped moving, Liz put her hand on his where it rested on the grip of his crutch. To his left was Kathy, her arm around Kathleen's shoulder, and her other hand clutching tightly to Dickie's.

_Do you really want them all to see this? Do you want them to know what a loser you are? Do you want them to know you were so afraid of _Barry_ that when your friend managed to get loose, you spoiled his escape?_

"Elliot?" Kathy inquired in concern when he did not move for several moments. "It was room 1743, wasn't it?"

"Maybe we should just let him rest," Elliot suggested. Munch was usually pretty mild-mannered, but Elliot had seen him get riled up a time or two, and he could be surprisingly imposing. He did not want to face John's wrath in front of his family. He was not sure he could handle it without breaking down right now.

"Elliot?" Kathy said cautiously. "Do you want to go alone first?" She saw different expressions cross his features. "We can wait over there."

His gaze followed her nod a few more yards down the hall. A waiting area. Elliot sighed. He still wondered if it was such a good idea to go and see John.

"We didn't come all the way to see you chicken out, El," Kathy reprimanded him, her voice soft and low so that only he could understand her. "Now go."

Reluctantly he turned to room 1743. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Kathy herd the kids over to the waiting area. Taking a deep breath he reached out for the handle, knocked two times and cautiously opened the door.

"Hello? Who's there?" asked John Munch who could not see his visitor at once due to the door opening to the inside. His stomach rumbled when he then spotted Elliot on his crutches.

"John," Elliot said hoarsely.

"Elliot."

Both men just stared at each other for a moment, trying to read each other. Both their hearts beat in their throats.

_He doesn't look good,_ Elliot thought as he looked at John whose face did not have much more color than the bed-sheets.

_He doesn't look good,_ Munch thought as he took in Elliot's battered form. _What the hell did they do to him? I let him down._

Elliot's throat was corded up, he could not get a single word out. _What the hell did they do to him? I let him down._

The staring became awkward and uncomfortable.

"Have a seat," John mumbled, gesturing to the chair beside his bed.

Slowly Elliot hobbled over and sat down. Being so close to John now made him queasy and it took a while until he could look at him again.

"I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry."

Both gaped at each other incredulously.

"What are _you_ sorry for?"

"What are _you_ sorry for?"

Elliot saw John frown deeply. He did the same. They both were confused by how they were saying the same words at the same time. What should they make out of that?

"Um, you first…"

"Well, you fir… Stop," Elliot said. "You first, John."

"Um… I… just wanted to say that I'm sorry," John mumbled.

"You? Why are you sorry?" Elliot panted with open incredulity. "If anyone has reason to be sorry it's me."

"You?!" John gasped. "But, Elliot. Why?!"

"B-be-because I… lured you in."

Elliot's voice broke and he felt that he was close to tears. His chest and throat closed painfully.

"Elliot," John gasped. Not for the first time he felt nearly shell-shocked by the way Elliot accused himself. "It wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was," Elliot objected violently, his expression suddenly passionate, but just for a few seconds before it became obedient again. "I should've warned you."

"Probably," Munch said. "But maybe I just was too stupid to notice that something was wrong."

"John, you're not stupid!"

Elliot's pained expression was almost too much for John to bear. After everything that had happened to him this was the worst, to see how Elliot tortured himself, punished himself for something he had not even done.

"Elliot, listen to me." John waited until Elliot's gaze focused on him. "You invited me in… were you ordered to do it?"

For a moment Elliot just stared at him before a shaky _yes_ tumbled over his lips.

"See, Elliot, I was distracted with a jumble of thoughts, you're a colleague and friend, I had no reason to mistrust you, so I didn't pick up on the tiny signals you gave me. I remember them now, but back then I just didn't notice. All you did was to protect your family." Once more he waited until he had Elliot's full attention. "And I don't begrudge you anything."

If John had felt awkward before he now was certainly disturbed when he saw tears spill down over Elliot's cheeks.

"Elliot."

But his friend did not listen to him. He seemed to spiral down into despair and John had no idea how to draw him out of it.

"Elliot!"

Still Elliot did not react to him. _What should I do?_ John was at a loss. Even though his body hurt with the effort he reached out for Elliot and squeezed his right forearm. He jerked his hand back when Elliot's head shot up, his eyes wide with terror and gasping for breath.

"Elliot!" Fear carried in that single word. Making up his mind John reached out for Elliot again. Trying desperately to sit up he grabbed for the younger man's upper arms to hold and steady him. Once John managed to sit on the bed's edge he wrapped his arms around Elliot and rubbed his back, trying to soothe him.

It took a while for Elliot to calm down again, but when he did his sapphire eyes shone bright when he looked at John with an odd mixture of anxiety and gratitude.

"It's okay, Elliot," John murmured. "It's okay. We're all safe now. Relax. Everything's fine."

"No." The sound was so low that John was not sure at first that Elliot actually said anything. "Nothing's fine."

"What's wrong, El?" John asked, squeezing his uninjured shoulder. "Tell me."

"Mendoza. They… didn't get him."

"Oh, Elliot," John said and pulled him back into his hug. So they sat for a while until Elliot finally started to wriggle out of John's hold.

"It's… okay, John," he mumbled, embarrassed. "It's alright." Skeptically he eyed his friend. "During the ride Maureen told me about how you protected them… Th-thank you." Immediately he was choked up with tears again and he wiped at them with the back of his hand. "R-really, John," Elliot choked. "Thank you."

"Anytime," John rasped.

They sat together in silence until a knock on the door shook them out of their respective thoughts. The door opened and Kathy stuck her head in.

"What's wrong?" Elliot asked.

"Nothing." Kathy smiled at them. "Just wanted to ask if we could come in. The kids would like to see you, John."

"Sure. Come in."

John's face positively lit up with new energy. Then the children followed Kathy inside and came over to John hesitantly.

"Oh, c'mere," John said with emotion and pulled the first one, Kathleen, into his hug. The other girls also accepted his embrace and for a few moments they stood close to him, his arms wrapped tightly around them. Dickie stayed with his mother, close by her side, and watched the emotional reunion with rumbling stomach.

"Um, kids," Kathy then said, "I think you should give John some room, let him make himself comfortable."

Reluctantly the girls backed off.

"It's okay, Kathy," John said. "They can hug me as much as they want."

His tired expression belied his words. Kathy as well as Elliot knew that it was time to go.

"Well, thank you, John. For everything," Elliot said. "I'm sorry that I couldn't help you."

"Don't worry, Elliot. Not your fault." John had to stifle a yawn and slowly scooted back in the bed.

"Here, uncle John," Kathleen said and pulled the covers up for him.

"Thanks, sweetie," Munch said with a genuine smile that was returned by the girl. It was good to see her smile, John realized.

"We'll come and visit you tomorrow, John," Kathy promised as she shook his hand goodbye.

"Oh, I hope not to be here anymore then."

"We'll see," Elliot said with a forced smirk. "If you're still here, we'll come. Okay?"

"Sure."

"And if you're home we'll come to visit you there," Elizabeth piped up.

John laughed. "Thanks, sweetie."

Everyone said goodbye and filed to the door. Elliot was the last to take John's hand, but he could not let go as quick as the others. John held on to him and searched his gaze. When he met his eyes he stared at his colleague and friend intently.

_It's okay,_ his look seemed to say. _There's nothing to forgive and nothing to be sorry for._

"Take care," John said aloud and finally let go of Elliot's hand.

"You, too," Elliot said, giving him a tentative smile before he followed his family out.

xXx

_Oh, shit,_ Elliot thought as he climbed out of the SUV and stared at the big house in front of him. _I still don't want to do this._

But the decision was made. Now he had no choice but to follow Kathy and the kids inside. Hobbling along on his crutches, Olivia by his side, he approached the O'Hara's house. For the next few days they would live here.

Rebecca and Jarod welcomed them in the hall and while Rebecca ushered them into the dining room Jarod grabbed their bags to take them upstairs to the bedrooms.

"Sit down! Sit down!" Rebecca gestured them into their seats. The table was already laid and mouth-watering scents waved over from the kitchen to fill their nostrils.

"Dinner's almost ready," Rebecca cheered. "Just a few more minutes."

_Dinner._

That thought made Elliot's insides twist and churn. He saw the faces of his children light up at the mention of food, but he almost instantly felt sick. Whatever Rebecca had prepared, however delicious it might be, Elliot did not think that he would be able to eat it. He felt his stomach rumble with hunger and anxiety. The latter steadily increased until he was consciously suppressing his shivers.

_We're safe. Nobody will harm us here. There are cops outside. Olivia is here. Don is here. We are safe. We are safe…_

It did not work.

Elliot could not stand it anymore. Mumbling an excuse he got up and left the dining room.

_Where to go? Living room?_ Hesitantly he stood in the hall for a moment before he slowly climbed the stairs. Up on the first floor he looked into every room in search for his bag. When he spotted it on the covers of a king sized bed he walked in and stopped about two steps away from the window.

From there Elliot could see the back yard, garden and neighboring gardens and houses without being seen himself. He longed to be out there and at the same time he was scared to death. He wanted to get away from all the people, the well intentioned questions and reassurances, the things done for him… but he could not. The mere thought of leaving corded up his throat and made his blood freeze. He could not leave Kathy and his kids behind.

_But then… even if Mendoza would return, what use would I be for my family? None. They would just bring me down again. There's nothing I could do._

Leaning on the crutches he stood and stared outside, seeing nothing but his waking nightmares of black masks and spattered blood.

"Elliot," Kathy's voice yanked him out of his brooding. "Dinner's ready. Do you come down with me?"

He shook his head.

"Elliot?" She was about to ask if he was okay and bit her tongue just in time.

Her tone alarmed him. He knew without her actually saying it what she wanted to ask.

"I'm not hungry," he said. "I… just want to stay up here."

His throat corded up and his last words got distorted. Unshed tears burned in his eyes. _I want to tell her, but I don't know how. I don't want her to know, but doesn't she have to know? What should I do?_

"Elliot, you need to eat."

"I don't want to," he spat, harsher than he had intended.

"I'll put something aside for you in case you change your mind," Kathy told him, seemingly unaffected, but she sensed his pain. She knew that he did not want to be here, but their own house would be subjected to the investigation for several days. Besides, Kathy doubted that she could go back there. Maybe after some time, but not tonight or tomorrow, or the day after tomorrow.

For a moment she just stood under the door and watched her husband look outside the window. Then she closed the door and walked over to him. Gently she took his shoulders and felt him shudder. Her heart broke for him. "Do you want to tell me what's on your mind?" Kathy whispered.

He sniffed, suppressing his tears. His whole body was tense now, even his jaws clenched.

"You shouldn't be in this position," he suddenly whined. "I should be the one comforting you and the kids, but… I… I…"

An icy hand gripped for Kathy's heart and squeezed hard. It was strange to hear him like that. It almost hurt her physically.

"I know, El," she whispered. "I know. It's okay." Gently massaging his shoulders, careful not to touch the bandage on his right, she waited for him to say something. When he still did not talk she decided to simply ask him.

"Elliot?"

He had slightly relaxed under her massage, but just hearing her say his name in that tone made him tense up instantly. She felt his trepidation but continued anyway.

"Who was on the phone?"

Elliot felt as if she emptied a bucket with ice water over him. His breathing accelerated, his heart beat faster, and the muscles in his stomach fluttered.

"Elliot?"

Closing his eyes and swallowing he fought for control.

"Mendoza," he whispered.

"Did he threaten you?" Kathy asked, hating to see him cringe.

"No," he said so tonelessly that she barely heard it.

Just for a second she was relieved by that no, but then she realized that she was wrong and with that realization she understood what had happened.

"He threatened us."

For a few seconds he remained silent. Her simple statement threw him off balance. Then he confirmed her statement with a rather sighed, "Yes."

Wordlessly she pulled him into her hug and maneuvered him to sit on the bed. There he tentatively wrapped his arms around her as if he was afraid to break her. They sat in silence, each drawing comfort out of the other's presence.

Dinner was forgotten. Only they were important now. They still sat and rocked gently, hands rubbing circles on their backs when the sun set, night trying in vain to put them at ease with their destiny.

tbc…


	48. Chapter 48

**48 hours**

_Once again_: I don't own anything related to these great shows LO:SVU and CI as well as CSI:NY. I just like to mess with the wonderful characters Mr. Wolf has created. Thanks for all the Law and Orders.

A/N: Thank you for your reviews, all of them. I didn't plan to do what I did with this chapter, but it turned out to be the best solution. So the 48th chapter will be the last chapter. Sorry for the wait, but I wanted to do the story justice with its final chapter. It's quite long, actually, because I didn't want to split it as that would have meant to have 49 chapters. LOL 48 chapters, though, doesn't that fit nice with the title? (especially as it happened completely unintentionally) LOL This story's development was surprising, even for me, and I love all your responses. Thanks again to all of you. Enjoy.

Special thanks to my beta-reader _JO_ who was such a big help through about the good second half of the story. I think that the best sentence of this chapter is from her from when we were discussing it on messenger, but it broke my writer's block, so I owe one more thanks to her. :D Thanks, love! This chapter's for you.

**4****8**

**O'Hara residence**

**Queens**

As it had for the past several days, the morning started without the annoying beeps of an alarm clock. Kathy and Elliot were still on sick leave given recent events, so both awoke a little after eight to the whine of a child. Turning to the sound they found Lizzie squeezing in between them. She lay on top of the covers and was shivering even though it was not cold.

"Hey, sweetie," Kathy purred, nudging her daughter's shoulder. "Wake up, honey."

With dread Elliot noticed that Lizzie had been crying in her sleep. Seeing his kids cry always made his heart ache. He believed that he should protect them, keep them from harm, and he wanted them to be happy and safe. His stomach rumbled as he realized that he had failed her. He saw Lizzie sob softly in Kathy's arms now and slid out of the bed, feeling misplaced.

Elliot retreated to the bathroom and relieved himself. Astonished he noticed how sore he was. His ankle was just one example. When he got up he forgot his crutches beside the bed and halfway to the bathroom he did not want to return for them because he almost had reached his goal. Now he regretted it and had to sit down for a moment when he was done.

_Well, this is embarrassing. I go from rock__solid cop to hobbling around like a cripple in two days and all it took was some prick with a gun and a grudge. I'm a mess._

After a moment he tried to collect himself and finish his morning toilet. Luckily he was not disturbed by anyone. He could hear steps and voices. Maybe they were using Rebecca and Jarod's bathroom at the other end of the hall. Taking a deep breath he tried to get finished. Shaving proved to be difficult as he could not look in the mirror. Each attempt took his breath away anew. It was mortifying.

Once more he raised his head to try and hold his gaze. The man staring at him out of the reflection was a stranger. Elliot did not recognize himself in this mirror image, but still this was the man he was now.

The man modeled by _Barry_.

Elliot loathed Mendoza. Whenever he thought of him he felt vulnerable and humiliated and furious with himself and with the bastard who did this to him. How did Mendoza get so much control over him? How could he allow it? Why did he not fight?

_Kathy! The kids! I had to keep them safe! I could not fight!_

He almost choked on that thought.

_I'm not his toy anymore,_ he told himself. _They are safe now. I can disobey him and I can find him. I can take him down and bring him to justice._

Steeling himself he put his toothbrush aside and left the bathroom. Elliot found the bedroom to be deserted. So he got dressed and went to go and search for his family, this time taking the crutches with him.

_Hope I won't need them for too long. I wasn't under the impression that it was that bad, but then again it wouldn't hurt that much. Dammit._

From the stairs Elliot hobbled down the corridor and into the big kitchen. There they all gathered around the table which was laden with all kinds of food. Elliot saw toast, cream cheese and bagels, milk, cereals, orange juice, a bowl with scrambled eggs, honey, maple syrup, and Rebecca was at the stove, making pancakes.

"Who's supposed to eat all that?" Elliot said, surprised.

"You and your family, son," Jarod replied. "Come on, sit down. Have breakfast. Do you want some scrambled egg? I'm sure Reba could also make bacon."

"Thanks, Jarod, but I'm not hungry."

"You need to eat, Elliot," his father-in-law told him gently.

"Maybe later," Elliot said, trying to escape to the living room, but Jarod reached out and placed a hand on his arm. Before he knew what he was doing, Elliot jerked out of his grasp and pulled back his hand in a fist. Then seeing Jarod's shocked expression he looked around and saw looks of fear and concern on the faces of his wife and children. Unclenching his fist and flexing his fingers, he apologized.

"I... I'm sorry," he stammered, "just please... don't touch me. I never did like to be touched."

There was a tremor in his voice.

They all heard it, but only Kathy and Jarod reacted to it, throwing nervous glances at each other. Kathy certainly was the only one who could judge his actual distress over unwanted contact. She knew that Elliot was forced to obey _Barry_ during the last two days and she knew that the men mistreated him both mentally and physically.

_From the very first moment on,_ she realized. _He came down for breakfast and was pushed to the ground at gunpoint. They were all over him, holding him, binding him._ She had to swallow a sob and quickly got up to go and fry some bacon. She would make sure that Elliot would eat. She managed to get food into their kids, now she would do the same for her husband.

"Hey, that's mine!" Lizzie whined, reaching out for the bowl of cereal. There was only a little left and she already had taken the milk carton to pour it over the Fruit Loops. Now both Lizzie and her brother had grabbed the bowl from two sides.

"You didn't say that!" Dickie shouted, pulling on the bowl.

"I'm saying it now! Let go!"

"No. I want it!"

"I have the milk! Now give it to me!"

"Hey!" Elliot barked, silencing both twins. "Does anybody want cereal? Kathleen? Maureen?" He saw Kathleen nod tentatively. "Three, two, one… sold to Kathleen. Let go. And, Elizabeth, give her the milk."

Grumbling something under her breath and glaring at her brother Lizzie did as she was told. Her sister took the bowl a little hesitantly, but then she poured the milk and started to munch on the colorful wheat loops.

Kathy smiled to herself as the bacon sizzled in the pan. _So the dad-mode still seems to work. I guess that's a good sign._ For another moment she concentrated on the strips of meat on the stove before she heaved a sigh, switched the burner off and shoveled the bacon on an empty plate.

"Here, El," she said as she put it down in front of him. When he looked up at her to protest she gave him one of her best _don't mess with me_ looks and he closed his mouth again before he could say anything.

Maureen chuckled.

_Thankfully the others don't seem to have noticed anything,_ Elliot thought, but then a tiny smile played around his lips. _Only Kathy can do that to me,_ he softly laughed inwardly.

"Dad? When do we have to be at the doctor's office?" Kathleen asked.

Shaken out of his thoughts Elliot was caught by surprise and had no idea what to reply. Once more Kathy saved him.

"We have our appointment at two p.m.," she said.

"Could we go into the city for a bit before?" Kathleen wanted to know. "Just stroll around a bit, go window shopping."

"Hmmm, what do you say, Maureen, Lizzie?" She also looked at Dickie, but knew that he would not fancy window shopping. Maybe she would be able to talk someone, preferably Elliot, into staying with the boy at a computer shop.

"Sounds good," Lizzie agreed and turned to her sister, giving her puppy dog eyes. "Maureen?"

"If you want to, sweetie," Maureen mumbled. Her gaze drifted to her father again. He did not look happy. Maureen did not really want to be among people and she imagined that the same applied to her dad. "But I'd rather stay home until we have to leave."

Her dad met her gaze, and she wasn't sure what she read there. Gratitude? Maybe mixed with a little fear?

"Me, too," Elliot said.

"Oh, Dad," Kathleen started to whine.

"Don't whine, Kat," Kathy interrupted her. "Your dad and sister don't have to go if they don't want to. We can all meet up at the doctor's office at two. Dickie, what do you want to do? Come into the city with us, or hang around here until you have to leave?"

"Well, since it's all girls, I guess I'll stay home," Dickie grumbled. "I don't want to spend my time looking at shoes and dresses."

"How about if I go along, sport?" Jarod offered. "We can hang out at a Best Buy or go to a video arcade or something while the girls do their thing."

Elliot hung his head miserably. He recognized Jarod's offer for exactly what it was, an attempt to fill in for him because he was too weak and afraid to be a good father to his son.

Feeling a little awkward because he could not judge his father's reaction but being excited with the thought of spending time alone with his grandpa Dickie told Jarod, "I'd like to go to a video arcade. And you'll buy us lunch, right? Big cheesy cheeseburgers and fries. Will you?"

Jarod just had to smirk when he heard his grandson's excitement.

"I think I know where we'll get some whoppers," he said.

"No whoppers," Dickie complained. "Wanna go to Mickey D's!"

"Okay, okay!" Defensively Jarod raised his hands and laughed.

During the whole exchange Elliot just sat there and stared at the tabletop. His stomach was rolling unpleasantly and he was acutely conscious of how miserable a dad he was.

Trying to save the situation Kathy asked, "So, is everybody finished?" She looked around and shooed the kids out, "Then you better get ready to leave. You'll stay, El."

Obediently he remained in place. His breakfast still sat untouched in front of him.

"You've got to eat," Kathy scolded gently as soon as their kids were out the door. "I know it's hard, but you can't heal if you don't get some proper nutrition. C'mon…"

"But I'm really not hungry," Elliot protested meekly.

"Tell that to your stomach," she remarked dryly, hearing it grumble audibly.

So Elliot reluctantly took some bacon. Without being asked Kathy put also scrambled egg and toast on his plate. Jarod passed him the butter and jelly. Once he got started he ate almost readily. He was hungry, he just felt too agitated to give in to his need.

"I still don't think that it's such a good idea to take the kids to town for a shopping trip," he grumbled between bites.

"You'd rather have them scared, sitting in their rooms, too afraid to come out?" Kathy asked. "I'm glad they asked. I'm not sure if I'll make it through the trip myself, but we have to do it. For them."

Elliot just sat there, shaking his head. The gesture could have been meant to indicate that he did not want to hear her or that he did not agree, but somehow, deep down, Kathy knew that he was still trying to deny that this whole horrible situation had actually come to pass. She looked over his head at her father and bit her lower lip.

"Kids are resilient, Elliot," Jarod said. "They need to move on. You can't keep them all locked up in the house all the time just because you're still afraid."

As soon as the words were out, Jarod wished he could call them back. He could tell by the way Elliot bowed his head that he interpreted them to mean Jarod thought he was a coward, not that he had a legitimate reason to still be fearful. Knowing there was no way to make things better, he still felt compelled to try.

"You need time," he said, gently clasping the younger man's shoulder, but he made no move to restore the contact when Elliot wound out of his grasp. "Just like the body, the older you are, the longer it takes your heart to recover from a beating. You will get through this, but only if you can let the people you love help you, and let go of your guilt about needing them."

Elliot snorted, but it did not sound amused.

_Kathy's dad could easily take over Skoda's job,_ he thought miserably. _It's mortifying to still have to see the doctor._ He heaved a sigh. _As embarrassing as it is… I still need him._

If it would not be for the kids' sake and his appointment later Elliot could have crawled back in bed. He was tired of it all, physically and mentally.

xXx

**Dr. Emil Skoda's office**

**Manhattan**

_It would be so easy. The last days passed like in a haze. None of us felt like doing much but sleeping far into the late morning, just hanging around the house in our pajamas, watching movies, and playing video games. Could stay like that forever…_

"So what are you trying to tell me, Elliot?" the psychiatrist asked, shaking him out of his reverie.

"I… don't even know," Elliot sighed and dropped heavily back in the chair making the leather creak. "It… it's just so… hard."

Skoda was glad that the detective had finally had stopped his pacing. At least for now.

"What do you mean with _it_, Elliot?"

Surprised Elliot frowned at his doctor. "You know what I mean."

"No, Elliot, I don't. Help me understand."

"Look, Doc, I don't know what you want from me."

"I want you to start talking, Elliot."

"But we're already talking." Elliot rubbed his temples. He started to get a headache.

"No, Elliot. We're both forming sentences but we're not talking with each other," Skoda said. For a moment he just sat and watched Elliot, but then he realized that waiting would not get him closer to getting his answers. "Please tell me about your family. How are your wife and children coping?"

Thoughtful silence filled the space between them. Elliot's face wrinkled up to an anxious expression when he remembered the morning's events.

"Better than I am, obviously," he grumbled.

"What gives you that impression?"

"The kids asked to go window shopping before their appointment with Dr. Olivet." Now he massaged his forehead. His headache became worse.

"What's wrong with that?" Skoda queried innocently.

Elliot's head shot up. He stared at the doctor with pure incredulity. _How can he not know?_ Elliot wondered. _Isn't it obvious what is wrong with that?_

"They can't just… I mean… Shouldn't they…?" Elliot stumbled over his words.

"Shouldn't they what, Elliot?" Skoda pushed, keeping his voice low and unthreatening.

Biting his lower lip Elliot thought about that question.

"Shouldn't they be scared?"

"Yes!" it burst out of Elliot. "Yes, they should be freaked out of their minds! I can't believe that, that, that…"

In his agitation he tried to jump out of his chair, but slumped back down. He was breathing hard, gasping for air as his lungs were squeezed tight by anxiety.

"You think that they should be too afraid to go to town?"

"Yes!"

"Too scared to go on with their lives?"

"Yes!"

"Like you are?"

"Yes!"

Too late Elliot realized what he had just said. He just had admitted that he was too fucking scared to go to town with his family. Too scared to even think about strolling through the crowds.

"How does that make you feel?" Skoda wanted to know.

"How do you think that makes me feel?" Elliot spat. He had not even noticed that his voice rose with every _yes_ he threw at Skoda. Now he realized how loud and harsh he sounded.

"You tell me."

"Angry," Elliot said.

"Angry?"

"Yes, angry."

"Angry."

"Yeah, angry!"

"It makes you furious."

"Mad as hell!"

"That's good." Skoda smiled. He had gotten Elliot out of his shell and that was a good sign.

"Good?"

"Yes, Elliot. It proves that you care. You want to protect your family, but you can't do that when you're not with them. And when you think of the reason why you can't be with them, it makes you angry."

"Yes!"

Elliot's blue eyes sparkled with excitement. Actually he was surprised that he reacted so passionately.

"What would you like to do now, Elliot?"

"Work."

Skoda had to suppress his chuckles. This was not the right time.

"You want to work?"

"Yes! We need to find those bastards. As long as their leader's not caught we simply can't feel safe! He could be back anytime! We can't let our guard down! _I_ can't let my guard down. I have to make sure that he can't harm them!"

"What about your colleagues?"

"What about them?"

"Isn't it their job to catch the bad guy?" Skoda asked, innocence incarnate.

"It's _my_ job to protect my family! I'm responsible for them!"

"You did protect them."

"No!" Elliot spat with such venom in his voice that Skoda was momentarily startled. "I failed them! I couldn't keep them safe! I let those men overpower me and hurt them! I'm useless! I'm a failure!"

_We've been there before,_ Skoda thought, but did not reply at once.

"No, Elliot. You are _not_ a failure."

"Yes, I am," he mumbled tonelessly. He slumped in the chair like a boneless heap of flesh. "I didn't do them any good."

"Elliot?"

Hesitantly he looked up at the psychiatrist.

"Elliot, what is the worst that could have happened?"

That was a hard question. Elliot needed a moment to collect his thoughts before he tried and forced the answer over his trembling lips.

"They'd be dead… k-killed by them."

"But that isn't what happened, right?"

Almost unnoticeable he nodded.

"Because you did what you did. _You_ did what you did to make sure that you all survived. And it was the right thing to do. You have no reason to think so low of yourself."

"I was so damned scared."

_Yes!_ Skoda's heart skipped a beat. He had not actually expected Elliot to admit to that.

"Is there any reason not to be scared when you're threatened with a gun?"

The way Skoda asked that question it sounded almost ridiculous and suddenly Elliot understood where he was going with their conversation.

"No."

Skoda smiled. This was an important admission.

A long way lay ahead of them and both knew that they had only taken the first step.

xXx

Slow progress was made from that day on. The whole Stabler family was in counseling and one day after the other it became better for all of them. The kids went back to school and Kathy and Elliot returned to work. Life became a daily routine again.

They were still living with Kathy's parents. Rebecca and Jarod tried to spoil them but more and more Kathy made clear that they should stop it. They had to settle back into their lives and could not do it if they were constantly cuddled by their relatives.

One thing that bothered them, but kept Elliot edgy, was that Enrique Mendoza was still free. While his colleagues quietly agreed that Mendoza had returned to Columbia Elliot was convinced that he still was close. His captor would not hide right in Manhattan, but he would not be too far away either.

Elliot could feel it.

As part of his therapy Elliot had visited their captors at Rikers. He had sat in the visiting room waiting for the first man to be brought in and was shivering, hard. But he shook only partly from cold, and he was also fidgeting, scooting in his chair from one side to the other, almost making it topple over. He felt a little nauseous, his chest tight with anxiety, struggling to breathe. Then when the guy had been brought in he stared at him with wonder. With his brown eyes, curly hair, and soft features, he looked more like a bewildered boy than a boogey man out of somebody's nightmare s. Once they ceased to be faceless enemies, they gradually faded from his dreams.

Alex Cabot prepared the trials and Elliot was relieved when she told him that they had enough evidence and that any testimony he, Kathy or the kids could give would just be the icing on the cake.

Elliot knew that he would be at court during all the trials. He had to witness them being sentenced and locked away for good. The only problem was that Pablo Mendoza was called as witness of the defense. So Elliot would have to face him at court and he had a strange feeling whenever he thought of that session.

And then on the day that Pablo was supposed to testify his transport from Rikers to court was ambushed. Heavily armed men freed the Columbian and vanished like phantoms.

xXx

**O'Hara residence**

**Queens**

Kathy did not know how often over the past few weeks she woke to hear someone crying or screaming. Since their rescue from _Barry's_ men, she and Elliot could hardly sleep themselves, because their kids were startled out of nightmares and they had to go to comfort them.

They all had already had several sessions with Skoda and Olivet respectively and would continue to see them.

Kathy sighed. She was not fully awake and so she did not realize at once that this time the suppressed sobs and whimpers that had woken her were issued by the man right beside her.

"Elliot?" she asked, stunned.

She gently laid her hand on his shoulder and felt it quiver. His shirt was soaked with sweat.

"Elliot?" she queried more urgently, shaking him quite cautiously.

"Nooo…" he whined. "I… I'll do… d-don't…" His unconscious plea was drowned by sobs.

It broke Kathy's heart. Yes, Skoda had confirmed her suspicions that he would not recover from the events as fast as he seemed to do and that they would eventually catch up with him. He also had warned her that it might become quite ugly once Elliot's mind started to work things out. Still, it shook her to the core to hear him wail like that.

Shaking him just a little more she tried to wake him.

"Elliot!"

Still she could not wake him.

"Please, don't hurt them," he mumbled in his sleep, obviously trapped in a nightmare. "Please, I'll do…" Once more sobs extinguished his words.

"Oh, c'mon, Elliot," she urged him, prodding him as much as she dared to. "Please, honey, wake up."

But he was still fast asleep. Instead of waking he started to squirm, turning from his side on his back, tossing his head from side to side.

"No, don't!" he pleaded. "Please… no. No!"

His fist came up, accidentally punching her shoulder, when he tried to fend off an attacker.

"Elliot!" she insisted, now raising her voice, hoping that she would not wake the kids instead.

Suddenly his eyes flew open. His body froze. Staring right at the ceiling there was no recognition in the dark blue eyes. All Kathy could see in them was utter terror.

"Elliot! Sh… it's me, Kathy." She rubbed his shoulder and upper arm. With her other hand she stroked his hair, knowing that this gesture usually made him relax easily.

This time it did not work.

As suddenly as he had woken up, he screamed.

"Nooooo!" He started to wriggle away from her touch. "Not the kids! Please, not the kids! Please, please…. Nooooo."

His voice broke. Even as he stared right up to Kathy, he did not seem to recognize her.

"Easy, Elliot. Sh…" she murmured, grabbing for his flailing arms to gently bring them down beside his head on the pillow. "It's okay. We're safe, we're all safe… please talk with…"

She was taken aback as he started to cry, tears running like waterfalls over his cheeks and sobbing heartbreakingly. He grabbed her gown, staring at her pleadingly.

"I do… you know I will… please, don't hurt them… I know I'm pathetic… a pathetic failure… don't…"

Sobs shook his body.

_Oh my God! _Kathy tried consciously not to back off, as she realized that he took her for the man who had been holding them hostage. _The man who terrorized him for two days… the guy who called himself Barry._

Her heart broke all over for him again. She had been so damned scared during those two days. Now she had to realize that he did not go through hell unscathed either. Of course she had seen his injuries. She had seen the pill bottles of the meds Skoda had prescribed him. But she realized only now how badly he actually was hurt.

Over the past few weeks, he had been what his kids expected him to be: steady as a rock. Yes, Kathy had wondered how much of his confidence was just a façade, but until now she could deceive herself. The sudden crash was even more frightening.

_Even though, _she thought fleetingly_, it might be triggered by the escape of the other Mendoza._

Even as she had discussed with Skoda what she would have to do, she was at a loss.

Elliot let go of her and dropped back on the pillows. His face was contorted with mental agony and whimpers escaped him that got on her nerves. Still recovering herself she did not know if she could bear that but she was the only one who could right now.

"Elliot?" she gently asked. Tentatively she reached out to caress his cheek. "Elliot."

He leaned into her touch, but the agonized sounds did not cease. She had to think of something else to calm him down. Before she could consciously make a decision her mother instinct took over and she found herself cradling him in her arms where he wept inexorably to the sound of her voice humming a lullaby.

xXx

**Special Victims Unit**

**Manhattan**

It was getting late when Olivia returned to the squad room, but she had just one call to make and then she could go home. At least that was what she had thought right up until she entered the almost deserted bullpen. In shock she stared at the figure slumped over the desk opposite of hers.

"Elliot!" All thoughts of her case and her call flew from her mind as she gently took his shoulders and shook lightly. "Elliot, wake up."

He moaned and tried to turn away from her, almost slipping out of the chair. Olivia's heart ached for him. He had been back for a few days now, but for a while there, when he was on desk duty in the squad room, it was almost harder than if she would have lost him. It was like having a ghost sitting across from her. There was no spark, no fire. He almost seemed _content_ to be her gofer, looking up addresses and chasing down files.

Regular office hours were over. He should not be here now.

"Elliot!"

Suddenly he bolted upright, his eyes wide, kicking, pushing… desperately trying to get away from her.

"Elliot, no! It's me, Olivia. Elliot, c'mon, calm down. Everything's okay."

For him that was idle talk. That she tried to grab him brought up memories of men, holding him down and tying him up or down to the floor. So he tried to defend himself against her and accidentally hit her chin, which made her back off.

Just slowly his breathing settled down and as he came back to his senses he recognized his partner.

"Oh, my God, Olivia. What have I done? I'm sorry, Liv. I'm so sorry."

"Don't worry, Elliot," she mumbled, rubbing her chin. "You didn't hit me too hard. It was more the shock of being hit. I'm alright."

"You're sure?"

He bent forward to her, trying to take a closer look while she sat on the edge of his desk. With both his hands he cupped her cheeks lightly, his thumbs brushing over the sensitive skin.

"I'm really sorry, Liv. Please forgive me." He could not stop apologizing to her. Over and over again he mumbled pleas that left her speechless and uncomfortable.

"Stop it, El!" Looking deep into his blue eyes she realized that he was still halfway trapped in his dream. It made him edgy and vulnerable and she was not sure how to react to him. "Stop!"

And he did stop. Her authoritative voice finally reached him, but she was not sure if she wanted to know what she did to him by handling him like this.

He calmed down a fraction, but it was enough for him to clearly see where he was and that it was his partner standing in front of him, not demanding anything from him.

"God, Liv, I'm sorry..."

"Stop apologizing!" she pleaded, hoping that she could transport her caring for him with her tone. "You don't have to apologize to me. You don't owe me anything..."

"That's not true," he whined. "You saved them. You did... when I couldn't." A tear ran down his cheek.

_Is he still trapped in his memories? _she wondered_. Or is he convinced that I want to hear that... have to hear that?_

"I just did what I was trained for, I did my job." Olivia put all the strength she could muster into her voice. The sight of him made her stomach knot. "You did so much more than that. You protected your family. You went through hell for them and came..."

"I failed you..." he mumbled barely audible. "I lied at court. I'm a damned failure. I failed..."

"Stop that!" Olivia insisted. "Stop, El! You didn't fail anybody. You did the only thing that actually counted. No one can be mad at you because you lied to keep your family from being harmed." He remained silent and she took that as small victory. "Speaking of your family... why are you here and not with them?"

He let go of her and sank back in his chair. It rolled a bit backwards. For a while he just stared at her, then he lowered his gaze.

"I had an appointment with Skoda. When we were finished I came back and filled out some forms for Cragen," he finally answered. "And then I got... kind of... stuck here."

"You got stuck?" Olivia had to suppress a chuckle, but could not keep the smile from her lips.

"Yeah."  
"You were asleep when I came back... did nobody get you up when the others left?"

He bit his lower lip, thoughtfully but also a bit embarrassed. "I went to the restroom when Cragen was about to leave."

"And?"

"And then I came back here..."

"Okay... Why?"

He swallowed. Then he grimaced, bit his lip again. "I... I couldn't..."

_Couldn't what?_ she thought, but did not dare to ask. She was afraid to possibly push too much. He looked tired, exhausted to be exact. She could imagine that he was on the edge. He had not only himself to deal with but also his wife and kids. She doubted any of them were sleeping very well.

She waited patiently for him to continue.

"I couldn't drive back," he whispered. "I just... could not..."

This time she had to ask, "Why?"

His breathing became strained. His eyes were downcast, his lip quivering. Then she noticed that his hands were slightly shaking, too. Maybe he meant it just like he said it.

"I... could have taken the meds Skoda prescribed for me, but... I believe they're just a last resort. They help but… they leave me too… wiped out to function." He struggled for words to express his feelings. "I… don't want that. I need to… to be alert. So I… I thought I would... try to control it on my own..."

_Obviously that didn't work,_ Olivia thought. Her heart broke for him as she recognized that he just was not able to drive home.

"You can hardly see straight, right?" she gently asked. "Did you sleep at all?"

"Not very much," he mumbled, actually sounding meek. "The kids don't sleep either, and when they are sleeping I have nightmares..."

He fell silent and Olivia was surprised that he had already told her so much. "Did you talk with Skoda about it?"

"Yeah," he snorted. "I did... that's why he gave me these pills." Once more he was chewing on his lower lip. "I managed to get here but I couldn't drive back once I finished the forms... I just..."

"Couldn't," she finished for him. "Why didn't you lay down in the crib?" Olivia saw fresh tears brim in his eyes. "What? What's wrong?"

"I wanted to go home."

_Yeah, sure you do_. Olivia swallowed dryly. The simple statement was painful to hear.

"It's okay that her parents offered us their house. I'm glad that we can stay there. It's good for the kids and Kathy and..."

"For you, too?"

"Hmm... maybe. I can't sleep anywhere. Not after Pablo Mendoza is out, too." He snorted. "Not that I slept well before, but… I just... I..." He could not put in words what bothered him. "Before I came here I was at the house," he said.

Olivia's heart began to beat faster. Did he just say that he had been at home? She waited, not wanting to interrupt.

"It's so... I don't know... it's... empty. None of us has been there since. Kathy's Mom got us our things." Once more he had to stop. It was emotionally exhausting to talk, but he wanted and had to talk now. Maybe something would happen now... during his talk with Skoda certainly nothing had happened. "I was in the living room."

_And?_ Olivia was on tenterhooks. Whatever he wanted to tell her, it was torturing him. But she did not want to risk that he stopped talking if she tried to push or direct the conversation. He knew the game, he would tell her when he was ready.

"I was in the bedroom, too."

Olivia raised one eyebrow. _He actually went up to the bedroom? He's braver than I'd have expected right at this moment. But obviously he doesn't think of himself as brave at all._

"That was when I puked."

_Has he really said something? _she wondered because it came so low over his lips. _Yes, he has._ Olivia smiled to herself. She had the strong suspicion that, being in his position, she might have puked before she even got _into_ the house.

"That's alright," she said and suppressed a chuckle when he looked up at her in disbelief. "It's okay that you puked."

"No, it's not," he mumbled meekly. "It's a sign of weakness. I'm weak."

"You're not weak," she contradicted him. "You're not weak at all. You endured two days of physical and emotional abuse and did not break... you're the strongest man I have ever met."

"No, I'm not," he said, sounding absolutely honest. "I'm weak… and I'm a failure."

Olivia was taken aback. She could have smacked him for that comment, but she saw that he already was hurting. She took his hands and felt them shake. They shook from sheer exhaustion. She suspected that it came not only from the two days Mendoza had held him captive but also from the days following. Maybe even memories of his childhood mingled with the latest events… and it just was too much for him. If she could only see a way to convince him…

"Elliot?" Tears glistened in his eyes. He just could not control it anymore.

"I don't know what I should do," he said. "It's… I don't know… it's…"

"It's all crashing down on you?" she tried to help him out. "You were supposed to protect Kathy and the kids and you did. You stepped on the stand and told the truth. You didn't let yourself get broken by constant abuse. And now that you're all home with Kathy's parents, everyone still expects you to be solid as a rock in the wake of what has happened to you and your family because you're a cop. Everyone expects you to be strong… when you need some rest… to heal yourself."

Her voice was gentle, just pushing a little, but she did not know if her words had the desired effect until she saw his expression change just before he hid his face in his hands and slumped in the chair. So Olivia took him by the shoulders and pulled him into her embrace. She felt him shudder as tremor after tremor passed his body.

There was no other choice... somehow she had to get him to the crib. But as he still was shaking uncontrollably in her arms she did not know how to manage that task. That was when the phone on his desk rang. She raised her head and stared at it. Should she answer it or not? She decided to take the call.

"Special Vict... Kathy!" She was honestly surprised for a few seconds until she felt a sting in her back because his arms wrapped so tightly around her. "Yes, Kathy, he's here. He can't drive, he's totally..." Kathy barely left her time to answer anything. "I don't know if that's a good idea," Olivia said when Kathy suggested her to take him home with her. "And I honestly don't know how to get him there, either. I'm lucky if I can get him to the crib."

She listened for a moment. Kathy told her how she had feared that he might do something stupid. She knew that he was under one hell of a lot of stress, but could not reach him to take it away. _"I know he's talking with Dr. Skoda,"_ Kathy said. _"But I can sense that it doesn't help much. He's slipping away, Olivia. I don't know how to hold him."_

Olivia just listened to what Kathy had to tell her. Finally she promised to look out for him and ended the call.

"Elliot?" Olivia backed off a bit and gently took his chin in her left hand, just with the fingertips. Still Elliot flinched back from her. "Hey, it's okay, Elliot. It's just me."

But he looked at her out of frightful widened eyes.

_Wow, _she thought_. If he doesn't have post traumatic stress syndrome I don't know who has. _Her heart ached for him. She did not want to put pressure on him, but she needed him to stand up and go to the crib with her. "C'mon, Elliot. Let's go to sleep. Okay?" His skeptical look amused her. "That was Kathy on the phone. She said it's okay if you stay. You should just get some rest."

"She's not angry?" he asked incredulously.

"No, Elliot. She's just worried. She said that she knows how exhausted you are and that you should not drive in this condition. So I can either take you home to her parents or I can get you to the crib here. Your choice."

He thought for a moment, biting his lower lip again. The uncertainty on his face was heartbreaking.

"I just want to sleep... to be able to sleep. No matter where," he finally answered tonelessly.

Olivia nodded her understanding and slid from the edge of the desk. "Okay, let's go." She expected him to follow her, but he remained sitting. When she looked back at him, the blue eyes were burning.

"Thank you, Liv," he said with a passion she would not have suspected. "Will you stay?"

She had not thought about that yet. To weigh the pros and cons did not take long. For his sake she would stay. Well, the beds in the crib were not that bad after all.

"Okay," she agreed.

He swallowed. His features mirrored uncertainty.

"What is it?" she demanded to know and patiently waited for an answer.

When he just remained silent, she walked the few steps back to him and squatted down in front of his chair. When she put her hands on his forearms comfortingly new shudders passed him as memories rose and panic tried to get a hold of him.

"Ssshhh," Olivia tried to soothe him. "It's okay. You're safe here..."

"How I wish I were," he whispered, so low that she almost missed it.

"Of course you're safe. We're at the precinct, remember. Lots of cops here. And I'm here, too. So just let go. You can let go, okay. No one can get to you here."

"He will..."

_What?_ This time Olivia could not catch it.

Elliot held his eyes closed, but she could tell by his breathing and the creased forehead that he became agitated. The pulse in his wrist was thumping against her hand.

"Stay with me..." he pleaded.

"I will, Elliot," she replied. Then she could not withstand. "What did you say earlier?" With strong pounding heart she waited for him to answer.

"He will come back," Elliot said meekly. "He's still on the loose and as long as he's not caught, he can be back anytime."

Slowly it dawned on Olivia what was really causing the enormous stress. He could not feel safe because Enrique Mendoza had not been arrested. Elliot was afraid that he could gather new men around himself and come back to finish what he had started.

Elliot still was trapped in protector mode, ready to fight for his family. He just could not let go and take the chance to relax.

"Every cop in New York knows Enrique Mendoza," she said, taking his hand. It was wet with cold sweat. "He can't risk showing his face. Getting arrested would be the least of his worries."

No reaction. Elliot just sat and let her talk. He was too busy being scared to really listen to her.

"I'm right here with you. If Mendoza really should manage to walk through a building filled with cops to try and get to you, I'll shoot him personally."

"My family. They're alone at home."

"You know that there's a guard. And a patrol car is passing every thirty minutes."

_Hmmmm... maybe he should take one of Skoda's pills_, she wondered. _Maybe it could help him to relax_. On the other hand she mused if it was not better to try again without any drug.

"That's not enough," he whined. "He'll get to them... and I'll lose them."

Olivia did not know what to answer. Obviously he did not buy her relaxed manner.

"He told me on the phone, when he called here..."

Olivia froze, chills shooting over her back. That was days, no, weeks ago. So far no one could get out of Elliot what Mendoza had said that had upset him so much.

"He… he said… he'd come and take my family away from me. He'd kill them and leave me crippled. There wouldn't be anything I could do."

_Oh, my God!_ Olivia shuddered involuntarily and hoped that he would not notice it. She had to be strong for him now. For a moment she just squatted there, rubbing his forearms soothingly and hoping that he would not break down completely.

And that was the moment Huang walked in with the little girl. Fin was behind them.

_I forgot to call!_ Olivia realized. _Shit!_

For most of the day, she and Fin had been working together on a case of child abuse. About an hour ago, she had returned to the precinct after discussing it with Alex and found Fin watching Huang work with the child.

They had found the little girl abandoned at a bus stop, wearing no socks, shoes, or panties under her thin cotton dress. A medical exam had brought to light evidence of physical and sexual abuse, but she was so withdrawn none of them could get through to her so far. So they had no clue who she was and were still trying to get her to talk.

For all of her warmth and compassion, Olivia could not get a word out of the child. John's straight talk was ignored, and Fin's cool act made her withdraw even more. Cragen's comforting grandfatherly presence made her hide her face in the sofa cushions, and shortly after Liv had come back from briefing Alex, Huang had given up on play and art therapy.

Finally agreeing that they weren't going to get anywhere with the still-nameless child until she had some time to feel safe with a foster family, they decided to call in a social worker who would take her to the emergency shelter where she would stay until they could place her in a real home. Olivia had volunteered to make the call, and that was what she had been intending to do right up until she had been distracted by Elliot.

"Is the social worker on the way?" Huang asked.

"No, I'm sorry. I still need to call…"

"I got it," Fin said obligingly as he warded off her apology with a wave of his hand. He picked up his phone, deliberately ignoring Elliot so that his colleague did not feel watched or, even worse, judged.

"Everything okay?" Huang asked.

"Yeah, thanks," Elliot growled, turning to his desk. _You ask just one more time and you can pick up your teeth next._

Momentarily unnoticed by the adults the little girl walked over to the chair at the bottom of the steps that was piled with toys and took out a small soft bear. Carrying it by the ear, she wandered over to the desk where Elliot now sat staring absently into space and presented it to him unceremoniously.

His eyes focused on her, and in that moment something stirred in him. He got lost in her big brown eyes that looked up at him so brokenly and their souls recognized each other. She climbed into his lap with no invitation and Elliot helped her settle herself. Seeing a picture of Dickie on his desk, she poked a delicate little finger at it and said, "I have a brother. Mommy killed him."

Silence fell over the squad room. Shocked by the girl's words Olivia, Fin and Huang stared at her and Elliot, fighting for their composure, while the girl snuggled up to Elliot and buried her head in the crook of his neck. Wordlessly the detective wrapped his arms around her and got up, carrying her up the stairs to the lounge where he sat down on the sofa. For a while she sat there on his lap before she started to talk again. Their conversation went on for hours, the little girl cuddling in Elliot's lap and recounting a horror-tale of physical abuse at the hands of her mother and sexual abuse from her mother's many boyfriends. Up in the lounge they did not notice that other detectives arrived at the bullpen, the usual buzzing setting in again as they came and went. Olivia just sat in an easy chair, taking notes as the girl talked quietly to her partner. Several times she saw the glint of tears in Elliot's eyes, but he never shied from the questions he knew he had to ask. Except for one.

"Wh-Where's your daddy?" he asked, stammering only slightly.

"In jail."

"Do you know why?"

"He tried to take me from Mommy when the judge said I had to live with her."

"D-do you ever hear from him?"

"No. Mommy says he forgot about me, but I think she's lying."

"Why's that?"

"'Cause he promised he'd always keep me safe."

Olivia felt her heart constrict when she looked at her partner's face. She wasn't sure what emotion she read there, and before she could think of what to say or do, Elliot had asked another, horrifying question.

"I guess it hurts that he let you down, huh?"

"Not really," Tricia said sweetly. "I know he did his best. I know he loves me. He'll come save me as soon as he can."

Of course, that was the end of the interview for a while. Tricia just cuddled up against Elliot's chest and fell asleep. The detective sat there, smiling sweetly, tears streaming down his face unheeded. Her simple, guileless answer had given him the absolution he had been needing. From that moment on he could feel it again, the confidence and determination he needed not only for his job but also, and especially, for caring for his family.

Suddenly Elliot yawned widely. The adrenaline that started to shoot into his body when Tricia told him about her brother Nicholas wore off and his overfatigue caught up with him. Still holding the girl in his arms he settled back in the sofa and a moment later he was fast asleep.

Olivia smiled at the scene warmly. She could see her partner like this with his own kids.

_I think he's ready to come back,_ she thought. _I've seen it in his eyes. Now Skoda has to clear him._

She put her notepad and pen on the table and leaned back, watching Elliot and Tricia sleep. It was such a peaceful sight that it made her doze off, too.

xXx

In the night a CSU team had searched the streets around Patricia McMillan's apartment. As Tricia had told Elliot they found Nicholas in a dumpster, carelessly thrown away like a broken toy. In the morning the ME called to inform SVU that the latter was not totally wrong. The boy also had a long history of physical abuse.

Now Elliot and Olivia, accompanied by uniformed officers, went to the apartment where Tricia had been living with her mother and brother. They rang the door bell and waited.

"Patricia McMillan?" Elliot asked when a tall brunette in a light satin robe, black with Asian style print, opened the door.

"Yes… And you are?"

"Detective Elliot Stabler, my partner, Detective Benson," he introduced them.

"Did you find her, Detectives?" Mrs. McMillan said excitedly. "Did you find Tricia?

"You could stand back," Elliot suggested, stepping forward and urging her to step aside and let everyone pass.

"I don't understand!" she protested. "You have no right to just barge into my apartment and…!"

"We have every right, Ma'am," Elliot replied and produced two folded papers. "Search and arrest warrant."

"You're kidding, right?"

"No, I'm not kidding," Elliot growled. "Patricia McMillan, you are under arrest for the murder of Nicholas McMillan. You have the right to remain silent. If you give up this right, anything you say can and will be held against you in a court of law. You have the right to have an attorney present during questioning. If you can't afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand these rights as I have given them to you?"

"I want to call my lawyer."

"Sure. At the precinct you'll have the opportunity to call. Please turn around."

Olivia eyed Elliot furtively. _Is that a glint of satisfaction in his eyes?_ Her heart beat faster. This looked like Elliot. This felt like Elliot. This was her partner being back on the job.

The tiniest of smiles ghosted over his features as he snapped his handcuffs around Patricia McMillan's wrists. Then two officers took her away.

Together with CSU they searched the apartment. Both SVU detectives had often seen bad living conditions at the homes of abuse victims. They had seen tidy apartments with children's rooms that were nothing but a dirty cell with just a bare mattress as the only furniture. The most disturbing were the cases when they encountered seemingly perfect families, and the lack of neglect displayed here at Patricia McMillan's home made the horror of what this woman did to her own daughter even worse.

After the search Elliot and Olivia were about to return to the precinct and went to get their car.

"It may sound weird right now, given the circumstances, but I missed that," Elliot said as they strolled down the pavement.

"I know what you mean, Elliot, and it doesn't sound weird to me." Olivia smiled at him and added in thoughts, _And I missed you, partner._ It was so good to have him back at her side.

"It felt so… good to shove her aside, to put her in her place. It was… hm, I don't know, it was…"

"Satisfactory," Olivia offered readily.

"Yeah," he admitted. It sounded a little insecure and the look on his face when she glanced at him testified to his discomfort at feeling like he did.

"The princess on the pea looked as if she wanted to pout because we took away her favorite toy," Olivia said and held her breath, waiting for his reaction.

"She'll have enough time to pout when she's grounded for the next… let's say twenty years in a prison cell."

Elliot grinned and Olivia thought her heart would explode with joy.

"How about Chinese?" Elliot suddenly asked. "I'll pay."

"Sounds wonderful. Egg roll, duck Szechuan and baked bananas with honey. Yummy!"

Her sudden excitement made him laugh and his blue eyes sparkle.

_Oh, how long it's been since I've seen them sparkle like that,_ Olivia thought. _It makes me so happy to see him that relaxed. I just want to hug him._

"I didn't say anything about spending a week's worth of my salary on your meal alone," Elliot teased.

"You need to talk, Mr. Glutton. Together with your order you'll spend more than a month's worth."

Both were laughing good-naturedly about their banter. It felt so natural joking around after a successful arrest. Walking around the next corner Elliot froze. His gaze was fixed on their dark Crown Victoria and his breath caught in his chest.

Olivia could see the terror written on his face. His eyes were wide, his lips trembling with anxiety and fine beads of sweat formed on his forehead. One hand automatically went up to massage the spot on his chest where his neck started. A vein was pulsing visibly in his neck and Olivia was certain that his blood pressure went through the roof.

Then he tumbled aside toward a dumpster and was sick. Olivia followed him and gently rubbed his back until he collected himself.

Unsteadily his gaze returned to his car, taking in again the sight that had shaken him so badly.

On the driver's side something was sprawled over the hood, something light brown and bloody at the thicker end, on the thinner end a cloven hoof. The hairs on the skin were short and bristly, but soft when you let your hand run over it in the right direction.

But what had upset Elliot, as Olivia knew for sure, was the dark mark on the thick end of the calf's leg: the Mendoza family brand.

_The End_

* * *

A/N: There it is, _The End_. Still feels odd. _The End._ Hmmm… Anyway, it IS the end of this story. I'm so glad that you stuck with the story through all those chapters. Now that we have reached the end I would love to get your feedback. C'mon! LOL At least 1 review for 48 chapters… I know you can do it if you want to. :D LOL Thanks to all of you who reviewed, put the story or me on your alert or favorites list and had as much fun reading as I had writing. And special thanks to my faithful beta reader _JO._


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